


Our Roles (Aldnoah Omegaverse)

by Nightfall (RealmOfTan)



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Boys In Love, Discrimination, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Forced Pregnancy, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Omega Verse, Psychology, Rape, Salutogenesis, Sexual Abuse, Social Issues, Social Roles, Soul Bond, True Mates, please don't burn my house down, psychiatric care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-14 23:59:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 214,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9210914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealmOfTan/pseuds/Nightfall
Summary: After years of risking, taking and wasting lives in the third Earth-Mars War, Slaine Saazbaum Troyard has found his punishment in a life contained in a monotone cell – hidden away from the world outside. A month of emotional agony; battling inner demons. A second month of apathy; floating through time without a reason. A third month of frustration; acting it out on the staff like a wild animal in a cage. A fourth month of reluctance; obeying for the sake of being left alone. Such has his life been in the restricted world that was presented to him the moment his opponent and enemy Orange captured him and locked him away.At the beginning of the fifth month, however, Slaine learns that this time it is not Orange who is the enemy. Something far worse wakes up from a slumber one night; making his loins burn and reduces him into a lump of shivering flesh begging for attention. The omega’s heat has awakened from two years of inactivity as the effect of the suppressant drugs disappears, and Slaine has to begin the battle against the decisions made by those in charge of his imprisonment.





	1. The Omega

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story somewhat based on the anime, although it has omegaverse modifiers to it to fit the AU. I got the idea from a short doujin I read on "a certain image board" two years ago and can't find it anymore *cries*. This fic's process has been slow and a kind of slop bucket for "I need to write pr0n!" and "how far deep down into immoral shit can I reach?" moments. This deals with lots of mature aspects and is somewhat hypersexual in the matters of social structures around alpha, beta and omega, so now you've been warned. I hope you enjoy! (^0^)
> 
> PS: I'm NOT trying to make a political stand with this story and I'm NOT interested in taking moral stands either, as this story is mainly to vent things out (like my frustration on sugar-coatings and "child filters") and just let the story flow and tickle whatever fetishes and emotions it tickles. Take it for what it is and don't give it credit it doesn't deserve. All the warnings are in the tags. Thank you. (^_^)

‘ _This is not good…_ ’

The heat was rising deep in his loins and all he could do was to gasp and grip the sheets beneath him on the uncomfortable bed made of a hard mattress and a metal frame, much like a hospital bed. The pit of his stomach burned and his muscles had gone weak, abandoning him to helplessly deal with his tormenting heat in a state of complete weakness. His body was delicate and sensitive, and Slaine felt a gust of a sweet smell he knew all too well each time he moved.

‘ _The pheromones… Stop…!_ ’

The cell was slowly getting filled with his sweet scent and there was no proper door to isolate the scent and stop it from drifting into the corridor outside the bars to his prison cell. The ventilation was not the best and he dreaded for what was to come if one of the guards would catch onto his scent, which would soon be dense inside the cell.

‘ _Don’t come here… Please don’t come here!_ ’

If he only got the chance to let his body cool down without anyone noticing his heat for the upcoming week, then he would save himself from mortification. That would only be a temporary solution, however, since the intense heat burning between his legs would reappear once again during the next heat in three months.

‘ _This is bad!_ ’

He had been using suppressant pills to force away his heat during his time as Saazbaum Troyard, but now that the effect had worn off and the mating period had come, his body had exploded into turmoil. His heat was excruciatingly intense and the pheromones were so strong his mind spun from feeling the strong scent that surrounded him, as if the scent was affecting him as well despite being an omega; it made his mind spin and groin burn, as he knew it was made to attract a mate.

Slaine had tried to starve himself ever since he had been put inside the prison in order to throw his body’s hormones off balance and make him weak enough his heat would not rise at all. He had seen the omegas on Vers do that at times to spare them the horror of being forced to copulate with an alpha, since the Versian system had been based on nothing but injustice and oppression surrounding who was allowed to mate and not. There had been no love in the disgusting nation; only political and cold decisions surrounded the omega population – in the name of the Vers Empire.

‘ _What a joke!_ ’ he thought and gritted his teeth from anger and frustration.

The omegas on Vers had it worse than Slaine had had as a servant on board the Cruhteo castle – or at least he thought so; he had been spared from being forced to pair up with a stranger and give them children to feed the nation with new broken citizen. His Terran blood had been considered unclean and he had been put on contraceptives – not suppressants for reasons he wished not to remember.

Despite the harsh memories of what had happened to him instead, he was still grateful to not have been treated as a breeding animal, since he had been allowed to escape the usual fate of an omega – the fate he hated above anything else; an alpha owning him. Because of his Terran blood, he had not been used as a mere vessel for child production, which he thought was the worst crime against a being carrying a womb in their body.

With greater luck striking him later on, he had gotten suppressant drugs once Saazbaum had taken him under his wing and given him the chance to stretch his fate further than he had thought he could – becoming something greater than the simplified role of an omega and being able to fool others to believe he was an alpha.

Since his plan to starve himself had not worked, the heat would be tormenting him for about a week. Until then, Slaine would emit a sweet scent to let everyone know what he was and give him an either irritable mood or a sociable mindset, like before the suppressant drugs. The later was something he thought would be impossible in this suffocating prison, as he despised everyone around him; the guards, the warden, the nurse and doctor… But the one he absolutely hated was the man who had put him in this miserable prison in the first place.

‘ _Inaho Kaizuka…_ ’ he thought and let out a muffled groan before burying his face against the pillow.

His body had unexpectedly responded with another heat wave while thinking about the man, and Slaine screamed curses at him in his mind. Why did he have to be affected with heat thinking about the man he hated the most in the entire universe? Why was he always this frustrated at his enemy? How many times more did he have to fight off this kind of heat that had haunted him even when he had been on suppressants?

‘ _Because he’s an alpha? You must be kidding me…!_ ’ he thought and gritted his teeth. ‘ _I hate him!_ ’

The guards, doctor and nurse were of no threat to Slaine – but Inaho and the warden… They were both undoubtedly alpha. Those two were the ones Slaine had to be careful about now that he had gone into heat and the mating period was announcing its arrival with big neon arrows pointing right at Slaine. It was a bittersweet and comical thought, and Slaine chuckled in the midst of his body burning.

The omega would die out of mortification if orange would learn the blond prisoner was not an alpha, and deep in the back of his currently delusional mind he knew hiding it would be impossible. If the word got out that Slaine was an omega, he had no way of knowing what would happen to him.

During the war, Slaine had been the cruel one who had ordered the Martian soldiers to hunt for omegas to force the alpha population on Earth down in numbers and make them fall into a crisis in the long run without leaders; without omegas there would be no alphas. That had ended up wounding the humans on Earth and would have surely led to a victory, had he just gotten a little more time.

The Terrans needed omegas to repopulate the nations with new omegas and alphas, and Slaine would not lend them his body and help them do that.

He knew he had no way to refuse if the horrible idea would come into the minds of the Terran alphas who were in charge of his imprisonment; he was completely dependent on Orange’s and the warden’s mercy to let him control his fertility the way he had done ever since he had hit puberty. Right now, Slaine had no contraceptives or suppressants, and he feared he would not get any either.

‘ _I’d rather die than let Orange know!_ ’ he defiantly thought and gritted his teeth until they creaked as another wave of sexual heat coursed through him while thinking about his enemy. He pulled at the sheets and accidentally let a loud gasp spill out from between his lips. It was sultry with sexual tension, brought forth from the mere thought of the brown-haired alpha who had imprisoned him. ‘ _Why am I reacting like this?!_ ’

His body wanted to mate so badly. All he could mainly think about was feeling an alpha swell inside him and have their teeth bite his neck to claim him as theirs; his instincts were running wild after being suppressed for two years with intense drugs. It probably explained the intensity of his heat as well; the hormonal system had just woken up and was unstable.

‘ _My heats were never this bad…_ ’ he thought and bit down on the sheet he was desperately pulling at with hands that nearly looked like animalistic claws. His fingernails dragged across the fabric and sent a shiver down his spine, and he suffocated an unwilling moan that threatened to escape him.

This time, his heat was out of this world; it was like his body was screaming of joy for finally being released from the suppressant drugs. The entire region between his legs was wet from his body lubricating ridiculous amounts to have him properly prepared for a mate.

An insane impulse to scream out loud in order to attract one – if not both – of the beta’s guarding him emerged in his being. They would not be affected by the pheromones as easily as an alpha and be carried away – but then again, everyone knew an omega in heat was a great time; they would probably not leave Slaine hanging if he called for them to assist him.

He could hear them talking in the personnel room not too far away from the cell. The night shift guards usually spent the entire night in front of the TV, watching either movies or sports. The constant buzz of laughter, talking and other noises from the TV made the nights stressful for Slaine due to the hollow echo bouncing all the way to his cell from the empty stone corridor. The resonance could at times threaten to drive him crazy, but, right now, Slaine was nothing but happy they could not hear his gasps and muffled moans while he tried to battle his heat in secret.

However, their voices were intoxicating him. The longer he listened to them speak and laugh, the more he wanted to call for them. They were living creatures that could help to calm his heat.

‘ _I want to mate… I need to mate! Come and calm me down!_ ’

If Slaine did not calm his heat in any way, he would have a hell throughout the rest of his fertility period. If he knew his body right, his desperation to mate would grow and intensify his pheromones until the period was over as a desperate attempt to attract an Alpha. He had learned – sadly in the hard way – that he was desirable; the Versian alphas who had had their fun with him had gone out of their minds and felt his scent from further away than Slaine had thought was possible. Escaping them had been nearly impossible and the only time he had felt out of harm's way had been when he had been lucky enough to get inside his room and lock the door; he had been the only one – except Cruhteo and the technicians – who could unlock the door.

‘ _Orange will know no matter what I do!_ ’ he thought with worry as he slowly began to realize he was weakened beyond what was normal.

A little voice in his mind told him not to care, to give Orange the right to mate with him since the situation was hopeless anyway. Then his pride was angered and screamed loudly to not give in to the delusion the heat caused.

If he let the betas have their way with him, he would calm down slightly. It would probably not save him from having Orange know about him being an omega, but at least he would get a breather from his aching loins and burning insides.

He determined it was worth it and, if nothing else, he would cause trouble for Orange and everyone in charge of his imprisonment. It was a satisfying thought.

“Haah…!” he sighed loudly after releasing his voice as his internal muscles twitched and contracted, begging for attention. They ached horribly from wanting to be forced open that he arched his back and whimpered from pain. “H-help…!”

He heard one of the guards let out a groan of annoyance as he heard Slaine’s cry for help, and steps were heard in the corridor, leisurely slapping against the stone floor. Slaine immediately turned his face away from the bars to hide his heated expression. It was mortifying, and he had to collect his pride and build it strong enough it would not matter how alluring his expression looked.

“What is it?” the guard asked with a snarl but then went quiet for a while. Slaine could feel the man’s eyes burn against his back. “What’s happening?” he heard the man ask and called for his colleague.

His voice sounded confused.

As the other guard arrived, another set of eyes burned against Slaine’s back.

“H-help … me…!” the blond cried with a gasp and squeezed the sheets with his slender fingers in desperation.

‘ _I have no choice… I have to hurt my pride like this or I’ll go insane!_ ’ he thought and let out a whimper. He felt so pathetic. ‘ _I have done things like this before; it’s not a big deal_ ,’ he told himself even if he felt it would have been a blessing to still be on suppressants.

“An omega?” one of the guards asked dumbfounded, and the other chuckled amused.

“Wait. So the tyrannical leader – Saazbaum Troyard of Vers – was an omega all along? That’s crazy!” the other laughed from confusion and shock. “I can’t believe it!”

Slaine’s pride stung like it had gotten an angry wound from the man’s words; it had not been strong enough.

‘ _Of course an omega can be a leader. You have your proof right here_ ,’ he thought frustrated.

He hated the discrimination and indignity that was painted on the omega population by alphas and betas from god knows how long ago. Each time someone discriminated him for what he had been born as, he felt like they were trying to feed him poison; it was sickening and a violation on him as a living creature.

Slaine turned his face toward the guards in an attempt to silence them with the seriousness of the situation, and, the moment the guards saw the omega’s fevered gaze, they went completely quiet. Slaine knew his face was attractive like this; he had a heavy blush on his cheeks, his eyes were wet and his eyelids hung heavily over his eyes in a sultry way. His wet lips were completely relaxed while he panted, and his disheveled blond hair was playfully hiding his eyes.

“Kaizuka and … the warden has no need to know,” he said with gasping breaths and saw the shift in the guards’ eyes; they went from confused and mocking into narrowed with curiosity and interest. It was a shift he knew all too well after seeing it in many others. “I’ll … be yours every night shift…” the desperate blond continued with an indecent suggestion, unable to stop himself.

The guards looked at each other and Slaine forced his body up from the bed. He was so heavy his arms shook beneath his own weight. Slowly, he got up from the bed and stood up on quivering legs. His loins burned so badly a quiet howl slipped from between his lips, and he steadied himself against the bed as he was about to fall over. A trembling hand rose up to his chest, which burned from mortification, and he squeezed the blue t-shirt with his fingers.

Slowly again, he closed in on the guards who could only stare back at him nervously. Slaine lifted his heavy arms to grab the bars and look at the guards on the other side, and he sighed with a trembling gasp.

“Please… I won’t tell anyone,” he whispered. “I can’t stay like this… Do something. Anything…”

Within seconds, a hand grabbed his waist and he cried out in shock as he was pulled against the bars hard enough his ribs ached. A wet tongue forced its way into his mouth after his lips were covered by someone else’s, and Slaine immediately gave in and opened his mouth to ease its access. The guard kissing him with disgustingly hungry lips grabbed his hair at the back of his head and forced him to stay still in the kiss. Slaine lifted his arms to grab the guard’s shoulders and moaned as they kissed to show his willingness to be toyed with. His loins burned even hotter now and his insides ached with anticipation, screaming at him to get on with it. It stabbed particularly in his lower abdomen, like some kind of electrical discharges went off inside.

‘ _Let this calm me down_ ,’ Slaine begged silently before his mind spun out of control as he heard the cell door unlock and both guards stepped inside the cell. He turned toward them, welcoming them inside his disgraceful den. ‘ _Hurry and make a mess of me…_ ’

αβΩ

Morning came and the omega lay in bed, still with heat burning in his loins. The betas had not been enough despite their greedy hands and forceful hips, and the blond had not gotten any sleep during the night. His eyelids felt heavy and his throat was sore from the dryness as he had been gasping for a cooling breath the entire night. His insides had been filled with the seed of the two betas just a couple of hours ago, but, no matter how rough they had been, Slaine had not gotten what he needed; the knot.

He had to admit the copulation had helped; Slaine had calmed down for a while and the pheromones had calmed as well, but the heat would begin to rise again soon enough as he had not had the knot inside him to calm his hormones.

He felt defiled, humiliated, angry and disappointed after what had happened during the night, but he had no right to complain since he had been the one to give the suggestion to spread his legs to the guards and instigated a sexual act while delusional due to the heat. The pitiful omega hated himself for what he had done in the middle of a heat wave, and had pitifully succumbed to that emotion slithering in him right now.

‘ _Why do I have to live with this? Why do I have to work so hard to please Mother Nature when the alphas and betas have it much easier?_ ’

The guards and Slaine had a silent and mutual understanding of not telling anyone what they had done; the guards wanted to come back during their next shift and Slaine waited for them to calm him down again with disgusting anticipation. The blond did not care how rough they were with him since he had been through a lot worse, and he had begged them to break him during the night to weigh up the carnal frustration of not mating properly; paradoxically, he had no wish to carry a child, but he could not help but to feel a violent want to be taken like that. The thought of insemination and the reality of its consequences were thrilling, as if pregnancy was the same as playing with fire – so to speak.

Slaine figured he should give up about hiding his heat and swallow his pride to ask for suppressant drugs in order to free him from his heat. He had no way of hiding it anyway since the betas had not been able to calm him down properly, and his pheromones were circling around in the little breeze from the ventilation inside the cell, reaching throughout the entire building by now.

The warden would arrive to work at any moment now and probably feel the scent of Slaine’s heat. It meant the blond had to warn the staff that was working during the day to keep the warden away, or else Slaine would probably be forced down and be mounted by him and be fertilized.

‘ _I can’t have that…!_ ’ he thought in panic as he understood that might happen within minutes, and hurriedly got up from bed and walked over to the bars. No way would he be fertilized no matter how thrilling the thought was; there was no way he would give someone who kept him imprisoned a child. ‘ _Damn you all… You don’t deserve me!_ ’

Slaine looked out through the bars and saw the day shift guard sit on the chair where they always sat. The woman did not look up at him as she was busy reading a newspaper, and Slaine hesitated to ask for her attention to speak to the nurse; he was sure the nurse would relay the truth of the tyrant to Orange and the other alphas in charge of his stay in this pathetic prison.

Despite that, he had to; he had no choice.

“I need the nurse,” Slaine said with a raspy but demanding voice.

The guard looked up at him and quickly folded the newspaper to hide it. Slaine was not allowed to learn any news from the outside, but the blond prisoner did not understand why they insisted on reading a newspaper in front of his cell, since he could easily read the titles on the pages turned toward him if he was interested in doing that.

“Something wrong with you?” the guard asked, and Slaine nodded and squeezed the shirt above his chest again as his heart ached from being forced to reveal what he actually was.

“I don’t feel well. I need to talk to the nurse,” he sighed and hung his head in shame to hide his eyes behind the slightly overgrown bangs.

“Do you feel sick or ill? You need to specify it more before I can call for the nurse,” the guard answered; she had not noticed Slaine’s pheromones in the air yet, but the blond had the feeling he would crash into a heat wave again and release plenty of the sickeningly sweet smell into the air.

Slaine clicked his tongue in annoyance and gritted his teeth. He did not wish to reveal his situation to the guard, since he wanted to keep it as much of a secret as possible if he was allowed to decide. To be forced to always state his business was humiliating even if he knew they had rules to maintain the security level in the prison, which was exclusively designed for Slaine. They thought he was dangerous – and in a way he was – but, now that he had been stripped of his power, he was not dangerous to the world, and was barely dangerous to the crew working in the prison.

Not too long ago, Slaine had been violent and plotted how to hurt the staff in sheer frustration and protest, since he had felt like nothing but a locked up animal in a cage that was too small. Now, however, he had given up on the physical damage and found the thought of making their work as hard as possible quite appealing.

‘ _What dangerous stunts would I be able to do, anyway?; they are holding my leash so tightly I can’t even lick my wounds in peace. At least I can be mischievous and nasty_.’

“I have a fever,” the blond mumbled. “My body is trembling and I feel sick.”

He did not lie, he just did not tell the entire truth. The guard eyed him for a while but then called for the nurse in the radio and, not long after that, the nurse appeared in front of the bars to Slaine’s cell.

“I was told you are feeling ill,” the nurse said with a professionally cold tone that let Slaine know he was completely emotionally detached from the prisoner.

During the wait, Slaine had wrapped the blanket around him and was sitting on his bed, leaning slightly forward and hugged his torso with an intense grip as a heat wave was tormenting him.

“I need … to talk to you in private…” Slaine said quietly while trembling.

“You know I have to have a guard with me, so that won’t be possible.”

Slaine looked up at the nurse who had just turned down his request. The blond felt like he wanted to cry out of frustration, since there was nothing much for him to do about his situation. He was becoming furious that no one listened to him and accepted his requests, and he began to feel slightly dangerous again due to the aggravating situation he found himself in.

“At least give me some kind of privacy. Especially when I have … something sensitive to talk to you about…” he sighed with heavy breaths, and the nurse knitted his eyebrows slightly to look at the former dictator, who was clearly in an awkward condition.

To Slaine’s relief, the nurse decided to send the guard away for a while and break the regulations of not being alone with the blond. The blond appreciated such gestures a lot. Once they were left alone, the man asked:

“So what is this sensitive situation you need to talk to me about?”

Slaine took a deep breath and frowned in desperation as he lowered his head again to avoid looking at the man.

“I…” he began, but the voice got caught somewhere on its way up his throat. He took a deep and trembling breath to force his voice out, to say: “I need suppressant drugs…”

The short silence that followed felt heavy. Slaine wondered if the nurse had understood what Slaine was trying to say, but that turned out to not be the case. The blond prisoner did not blame the nurse; who would believe that an omega had been able to be a powerful leader in a conservative world, where only alphas could rule and lead?

“Why do you need suppressant drugs?” he heard the nurse ask suspiciously.

Slaine bit his lower lip for a short moment to gather his courage. The entire prison would soon know what he was and, most importantly, Orange would know. Besides that, the nurse would be forced to report everything Slaine said to the ones controlling his imprisonment.

“I have gone into heat…” Slaine sighed and squeezed his thighs tightly shut as a heat wave coursed through him just saying the word of his condition. “It’s really intense… I can’t deal with it alone…”

Another heavy silence followed, before the nurse finally asked:

“Are you trying to say you are an omega?” As Slaine nodded, the nurse went silent for a long time, studying him closely before releasing the heaviest sigh yet: “Dear lord… Why didn’t you say anything before you went into heat?”

‘ _There he goes, putting the blame on me…_ ’

“How could I?” Slaine mumbled and hugged himself tighter. “I know the conditions … of an omega in this world. I have no rights in here so I have no way of knowing what you Terrans will do to and with me.”

His pride burned. He wanted to get angry, throw a tantrum, run away or die. The blond had no options available to uphold his pride except by getting angry and throw a tantrum, and with that make the Terran staff’s work hard and frustrating. Slaine wanted to let his anger out in whatever way possible, but, right now, he was too weak to do anything but ask for help.

“You do realize I cannot give you suppressant drugs before consulting with the warden and Officer Kaizuka, right?” the nurse said and Slaine nodded slowly. “The drugs are dangerous, you are aware of that?”

“I have been on those before…” Slaine mumbled back with a trembling voice. “... during my time as the leader on Vers’ side of the war…”

The nurse released another loud and heavy sigh before letting Slaine know he would talk to Orange as well as the warden. Depending on what they would think of Slaine’s problematic condition, a decision of what to do with the young omega’s newly revealed secret would be made.

As the nurse left him to deal with his heat alone, Slaine fell onto the bed and curled up beneath the blanket he had kept wrapped around himself. He was worried and afraid of what decisions would be made by those in charge of him, but he knew coming clean was his only option.

‘ _This is the worst!_ ’

αβΩ

“Troyard,” he heard someone say from a distance. “Wake up, Troyard.”

Slaine’s fuzzy mind woke up from a restless sleep. Before he had realized it, he had fallen asleep as his heat had subsided momentarily from the exhaustion of not getting any sleep during the night.

The voice calling for him was calm and monotone, which made it sound cold and unaffectionate, and he slowly opened his eyes and pulled the blanket off his head to have a look at who had coaxed him out of his much needed sleep.

His eyes met the burgundy eye of the man he hated the most.

“Orange…” he mumbled with a poisonous hiss and slowly forced his body up from the mattress to sit up on the bed and face the man bravely.

Then, a sudden realization hit him and, before he had had the time to reflect on what he was doing, he had gotten up from the bed as his body had instinctively prepared itself to run away from the alpha standing before him; Orange was inside the cell with him in his heat period!

Where could he run to save himself from being claimed? The cell was locked and there was nowhere to hide, and the smell of the alpha invaded his nostrils and spurred the heat to boil again.

“Calm down,” Orange said with his usual tone of voice – a voice which made an intense anger flare up in the blond – and flipped through some papers on a clipboard; probably Slaine’s records. That was when Slaine noticed the brunet wore a mask over his mouth and nose; it was a specially made mask, designed to prevent him from inhaling an omega’s pheromones. “I was told you are an omega,” he continued, and Slaine could only stare at him – cautious of Orange’s every movement. It was incredible how his body still remembered the importance of running away from alphas. “The situation has become difficult,” Orange then said without giving any expression to the blond to emphasize what he had said.

Slaine scoffed and raised his head high to stand tall despite he was taller than the other even in a relaxed position. He just wanted to have higher ground during the confrontation.

“It’s enjoyable, is it not? Puts those well-oiled gears of yours to work,” Slaine said with a poisonous hiss. “Amuse me for a little bit and tell me how you plan to deal with this problem.”

Orange stared at him for a while and something flickered in the younger man’s eyes. Slaine knew that flicker from miles away; it was the flicker coaxed forth by his pheromones, and, even if Orange seemed to be able to control himself, Slaine slowly took a step back. He had learned to never trust an alpha’s self-control.

‘ _The mask is not enough?_ ’ he wondered and gritted his teeth.

“You will be moved into the interrogation cell since it’s isolated and the ventilation is not connected to the rest of the building,” the young man finally said, and Slaine narrowed his eyes, not liking the solution at all.

“So you will put me on display now?” he barked angrily to disapprove of Orange’s idea. “I guess I should be grateful it’s not for the whole world to see, but this is still unacceptable!”

The interrogation cell was the chamber made of reinforced glass where Orange had tried to play chess with Slaine now and then – a room the former tyrant hated since he had no privacy in there. Now, he was supposed to be kept there for god knew how long, and it felt humiliating beyond anything he had felt before now that he being an omega had been revealed.

He could imagine this was how a butterfly in a glass jar would feel, had it been capable of such thought to awaken feelings, when displayed on a table to let all the kids in a kindergarten take a look at it. The only exception was that Slaine was not a butterfly only displayed to look pretty; he was a rare omega – probably the rarest of them all for having been a cruel dictator hiding in the shadows and founded a nation in the satellite belt around Earth. He had brutally used the deteriorating political power to his advantage and loomed over Vers, nearly taken over the Martian nation.

‘ _Fine, I’ll let the entire staff watch me_ ,’ Slaine thought. ‘ _And I won’t make it interesting_.’

“No, it is to protect you,” Orange countered without getting affected from Slaine’s angry tone.

Slaine bit back an impulse to keep pushing on the topic of keeping him on display despite he knew how unreasonable it was. He just wanted to argue with the man and nothing else, but, right now, his situation was too delicate for him to throw insults at the man; he needed Orange to do something about this hell he was going through, and he wanted to know what would be done to ease his suffering – since they _would_ ease his suffering, right?

“And what about my heat?” Slaine asked with a snarl.

“The warden is consulting his superiors as we speak,” was the other man’s answer. “Until then, we will not provide you with any kind of drugs.”

Slaine felt his entire body grow cold and the color faded from his face. The alphas who were holding the end of Slaine’s leash was being informed about Slaine’s condition. Even if Slaine knew it would have been unavoidable either way, he still felt a tremble grow in his body. The only reason why it was not obvious to give him suppressant drugs was because there was a possibility the higher ups would have other plans. He had seen and heard enough about how omegas were treated in Vers and on Earth to validate his nervousness.

Slaine shook his head slowly as he stared at Orange with eyes that widened for each second that passed as the realization hit him.

“They will use me…?” he asked quietly and backed away from the young alpha, who stared back at him – expressionlessly.

“No decision has been made yet,” Orange answered bluntly.

Slaine gritted his teeth and his eyes sharpened. He was scared and felt like a cornered animal.

“Don’t treat me like a fool,” he hissed and bore his gaze into Orange’s. “If they didn’t have a use of me, they would have thrown suppressant drugs at me to shut me up and prevent me from going into heat and cause you trouble.”

“Due to what kind of prisoner you are, we are not allowed to make decisions without consulting with the superiors first,” Orange simply said.

“Either you are keeping it a secret from me or then you are naive about the situation!” Slaine yelled as his anger became unbearable. “You know they will decide if they want to use my womb or not!” Orange said nothing, and Slaine felt a tremble take his strength away. “Then at least give me contraceptives. You can’t let me suffer like this,” he then said quietly and stared at Orange with an expression that asked the brunet to have mercy on him.

“We are not allowed to make any decisions before-” Orange began to repeat, but Slaine would not have that.

He interrupted him by throwing the pillow from his bed at the other without thinking. He was so angry and frustrated for being this controlled and dependent on someone else’s kind will in a frightening situation like this that he was close to tears. Orange caught the pillow before it managed to hit him and, suddenly, his eyes flickered again.

Slaine realized what he had done and backed up against the wall behind him while staring at Orange with focused attention.

‘ _The pillow… It smells of my pheromones!_ ’ Slaine thought and cursed as Orange took a step toward him. ‘ _He will claim me!_ ’

“STAY AWAY!” the omega yelled instinctively with panic bubbling up in his chest. His heart was racing hard enough the pulse was beating in his ears like a sledgehammer. “Don’t come near me!”

A heat wave attacked the omega at the unexpected thought of feeling an alpha’s knot inside him – Orange’s knot to be precise, probably because he stood right before him at the moment – and his loins began burning again. Slaine put his arms around himself and leaned forward, supported by the wall behind him, and gasped while squeezing his thighs tightly shut. Even his libido was strong. It made him want to kiss and lick the other’s lips and eagerly fall down on his knees in front of the brunet to bury his face in his groin with his lips around the hot flesh.

‘ _I want to…_ ’ he thought but quickly shook his head and took a deep breath to clear his mind of such indecencies. ‘ _No! I don’t want that! Collect yourself, Slaine Troyard._ ’

Orange was a young and fertile alpha, and Slaine knew there was no way he would be able to resist him if Orange tried to mount him in the condition Slaine was in. He would eventually willingly spread his legs for him and that was a humiliation the blond would not be able to live with.

‘ _No way will I let him touch me!_ ’

Orange had been about to take another step closer when Slaine had yelled at him, and stopped immediately as if he had been startled and woken up from a daze. The brunet took a hold of the mask he wore and pushed it against his face, probably to make sure it was sealed tightly to prevent him from falling into Slaine’s unintentional trap.

“Don’t…” Slaine said quietly with a gasp as he watched Orange collect himself.

“Your pheromones are strong,” the other declared. “Is this the reason you have starved yourself?”

So, Orange had been aware of Slaine having had ulterior motives when refusing food? To weaken the body and force it to preserve whatever little energy it had by not providing it with enough nutrition would either shorten or then halt the fertility cycle completely. Slaine had made it seem like he refusing food had been about him protesting against his life in prison, when in reality he had tried to suffocate his body’s fertility cycle. Inaho had probably put two and two together and realized this.

Starvation had proven to be a failure; he had not starved enough. His body seemed to push all of its energy into the huge biological machinery inside him to keep it functioning despite the impossible situation Slaine had tried to create for it. It was more than happy to be off the suppressant drugs the former tyrant had taken for over two years.

Slaine did not answer Orange’s question. There was no need to since he knew Orange was fully aware of what Slaine had been trying to do, and the blond did not want to cooperate with his captor the slightest. It was his only way to maintain whatever little he had left of his pride and identity as Slaine Troyard; to become a mere prisoner with a number tag without fighting it was out of the question.

The staff referred to him as “you” or “prisoner”; Slaine had been stripped of his name by everyone except Orange, who was the only one still calling him by his name. It made Slaine’s heat intense just thinking about the brunet, since the young man still saw the tyrant as an individual rather than a prisoner; the slightest kindness made Slaine’s delusional mind want to accept the other as his mate – but just briefly.

‘ _Stay focused…_ ’

“Have you bonded with someone before?” Orange then asked as he understood Slaine would not answer his previous question.

A bond lasted until either of the mates died, or sometimes survived the death of a mate, and it allowed the alpha to control the omega’s fertility; the omega’s pheromones would only grow strong when the alpha they were bound to was close by.

It was a powerful thing that should have been treated as holy, and so it had been earlier in history, but the modern civilization looked at it as some kind of a hassle to be done with as quickly as possible. The only ones who suffered from that kind of thinking was the discriminated omega population.

For an omega, the bond was more than absolute. It was the most profound aspect and notion in their lives right after giving birth to a child, and it was difficult to convey that to a world who did not need to care for such things; the meaning of a bond to an omega was ignored all together by the rest of the population who had no need to be bound to someone, like an omega was supposed to.

“What’s it to you? It’s none of your business,” the blond barked back.

“Are you willing to bond with an alpha in order to control your unpredictable heats?”

Slaine could not help but to release a scornful chuckle hearing such a ridiculous and outrageous question. Orange should have known him better than that; Slaine was incredibly prideful.

“Be bound to someone? Me?” he snarled with pretended strength. “Why would I need to bind myself to an alpha when there are suppressant drugs?”

Orange stared at him for a while and Slaine got the feeling the brunet was trying to warn him. He did not know of what, though, and he would not ask because his pride would not let him.

“Suppressant drugs are dangerous. The known side effects are cancer, heart disease, blood clots as well as addiction,” Orange said with his usual monotone voice. “Since they hide the fact that an omega is an omega, they disturb the hormones in the omega’s body and we’re not sure what that does to an omega yet. Neurotransmitters are one thing, but hormones are entirely something else. Being bound is a lot safer.”

Slaine knew the side effects all too well, but those did not matter to him and had never mattered at all for as long as he had been on suppressants. As Count Saazbaum Troyard, he had been prepared to throw away his own wellbeing to fulfill Asseylum’s dream. Now, if he got a serious complication from the suppressant drugs that would lead to his death, it would save him from suffering; dying was a greater option than anything else in this prison, he thought. The cell and cold stony walls were suffocating his soul, slowly but steadily. It was nothing but torture; there was no reason to breathe if he had nothing to breathe for.

“Why would I care about my own health?” he finally grumbled. “Who would I be bound to in this hell? You? Don’t make me laugh!”

“Since you have a record of suicidal tendencies, they will put you under surveillance. You are not allowed to die,” the brunet said, and Slaine wanted to throw himself at him to strangle him.

“Why would anyone care anyway?!” Slaine yelled with frustration. “I am nothing but a piece of trash to you, rotting away in a small unknown corner on Earth!”

“They will care for your safety since you are an omega,” Orange answered bluntly and kept staring at the former dictator with his expressionless gaze. “An omega is valuable.”

At that, Slaine’s strength left him and he collapsed against the wall behind him, barely holding himself up on the tired legs struggling to carry him.

“So they _will_ use me?” the blond prisoner sighed and leaned his head against the wall behind him to stare up at the ceiling. “Is that what you are trying to tell me?”

“I cannot answer that,” Orange answered and walked over to the cell door to call for guards. “No decision about what to do with you has been made yet.”

“Would Empress Asseylum approve of that?” Slaine said quietly and ignored the brunet’s sentence, frowning as he tightened his slender arms around himself. “Aren’t you supposed to consult with her first?”

Orange did not make an attempt to reply and the man’s silence made Slaine understand there was corruption going on with the information about Slaine that was given to the empress of Vers. Slaine realized he was completely at the mercy of the Terrans who were in charge of his imprisonment; not even Asseylum could save him. It made the former dictator feel a heavier tiredness engulf him.

Two guards entered the cell and clasped the familiar handcuffs around Slaine’s wrists. The blond did not bother to fight back since the last time he had tried had ended with him being forced down onto the floor and then gotten his hands cuffed behind his back. He had learned to behave when the staff was in physical contact with him.

‘ _But for how long?_ ’ he wondered as he was shown out of his cell. ‘ _My frustration will skyrocket from here; I want to break something – preferably someone._ ’

He was taken to the glass chamber where he had nothing but the table and chairs where he and Orange used to sit during Orange’s visits. There was no place to hide in that room and Slaine felt exposed and vulnerable. To show Orange and the prison staff that he was strong despite the vulnerable state he had been forced into, he sat down on the chair next to the table and stared at its surface while he waited for something to happen, and there he sat in silent protest, only glaring at those who moved outside and threw curious glances at him.

‘ _I won’t be your pretty butterfly_ ,’ he thought and gritted his teeth. The frustration was already building up, waiting to explode. ‘ _I’ll be a firecracker in your glass jar._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I haven't finished this yet, I also haven't decided on how to end this (good/bad), but now as my vamp-fick is (finally) done, I can concentrate on this omegaverse fic and finally see where I take it. Ten chapters are already done, so I guess I'll be updating once a week like usual.


	2. The Butterfly

Time went by in silence in the glass jar. A guard had placed a tray with sandwiches and coffee on the table in front of the currently calm and patient butterfly, but the blond had not touched any of it; he would not cooperate by eating, and he did not have an appetite in such an exposed state the interrogation room implied, which was significantly distressful for the young man who already felt mortified as it was from going into heat in front of his enemies. All he wanted was to be left alone, and he played the part of a pretty butterfly for now, saving his energy for when he needed to fight for his right to own his own body.

Orange was sitting outside the cell, going through some paperwork next to the table that had been placed there so he could keep an eye on the blond while guarding his phone. It was obvious he was waiting for a call.

Slaine threw glances at him now and then from the corner of his eye as he had been staring at the table absentmindedly long enough for boredom and curiosity to take a hold of him and make him raise his gaze. Somehow the sight of the brunet was a tiny bit calming. Maybe it had to do with him being the only sense of security Slaine had in this prison; something familiar from before the butterfly had been taken to this building? Besides that, Slaine found a slight enjoyment from watching the other work; Orange gave him a sense of quietude with the ways he handled the pens and papers, and the air around him seemed calm and collected, like he was in total control of his situation – unlike Slaine.

While the brunet had been working, he had waited for a sign of some kind to tell him if the higher ups had come to a decision yet of what would happen to Slaine. The entire situation was disgusting; strangers – all probably pompously dressed alphas with nothing but arrogance as the only quality to their personality – were talking about his future as an omega; a future Slaine had no power over. Whatever they decided to do with him, he would not have a choice but to do as they told him. If he resisted, they would force him instead – just like they had done with everything else thus far.

The moment he threw a glance at Orange again, a heat wave washed over him and he sighed quietly to not draw attention. His loins began burning once again as he could not help but to think about the fact that Orange was an alpha.

Alpha…

Alpha.

Alpha, alpha, alpha, ALPHA!

“Haahhh…!” he gasped with a frown on his flushed face and bit his lower lip to control the heavy breathing as the heat wave rushed through him and set his flesh ablaze. His hips wanted to move while sitting on the chair, and he resisted the urge to let his hands wander down beneath the table.

A part of Slaine’s mind was screaming at him to mate with the other man while another part yelled at him to refuse. It was maddening and confusing – just like it had been ever since they became enemies.

Even when he had been on suppressant drugs, his loins had sometimes burned as if they had been licked by hellfire after an encounter with the brunet. It had been difficult to release that sudden heat back then. Not even the sex with Harklight – a beta who had been more than happy to serve Slaine until the omega was satisfied – had been able to suffocate the flames entirely. It had always been like that with Orange, which made Slaine hate the brunet all the more.

‘ _How humiliating!_ ’ the agitated butterfly thought.

To hide the seductive expression, which he was sure he had now that he had gone into heat, he pushed the tray with sandwiches and coffee away and leaned over the table, hiding his face against his arms. There he lay – suffocated his gasps and squeezed his thighs tightly shut while he impatiently waited for whatever decision that would seal his fate.

‘ _Damn it… Damn it. Damn it!_ ’ he thought and felt the heat change into pure anger. He could not remember being this agitated before; it was unbearable and made his mind flash with impulses to become physically aggressive toward something – anything. ‘ _It must be because of the withdrawal of the suppressants, or because I haven’t been in heat for so long that I have forgotten how it feels. My body is screaming at me_.’

His muscles tensed up, especially the ones in his pelvis. They cramped together, searching for something to grip and grind against, and his flesh between the legs was hardening at the same time as his entrance became wetter for each second that passed. A mindboggling tingle between his legs made him want to moan pathetically to attract an alpha to mate with him, as though it was a terrible itch that had to be scratched. Tingles from his loins were shooting up to the pit of his stomach as well, stabbing him with sexual need.

‘ _Why won’t they give me suppressants? This is excruciating!_ ’ he thought and groaned quietly and squeezed his hands into fists on the table while pushing his thighs tighter together. He decided to stay like that – tensed up and flustered – until his muscles became exhausted.

After some time had passed and the heat wave had subsided somewhat, he heard a phone ring somewhere outside his glass jar. It was muffled as it was ringing on the other side of the transparent walls, but it was loud enough to peak Slaine’s horrible curiosity to see the phone call that would probably decide his fate.

As he looked up, he saw Orange push a phone against his ear. He spoke to someone with short sentences while keeping his expressionless face turned against the papers in front of him on the small table.

All Slaine could think about was the profile of the young alpha and wonder how his hands felt like; if they would feel good when running down his skin or if the thickness of his fingers was satisfying when pushing into him. He felt ridiculous for thinking things like that while a dreaded phone call was taking place, but he could not help it; try as he might, he was too curious about the brunet to let his mind go to rest or focus on something else when staring at his enemy.

Once the conversation seemed to have come to its end, Orange put down the phone and got up from the chair.

Slaine felt his entire body shake from anticipation when he watched the young alpha close the distance between them to tell him about his horrific fate; Slaine knew those responsible for him would not take his autonomy and integrity in consideration when deciding what to do with him. However, he was strangely far more curious about Orange’s distance to him decreasing than the news the man carried.

After Orange had walked up to the door leading into the glass jar where the butterfly was held, he said with his empty voice into the small speaker system that allowed them to communicate for as long as he held in the call-button:

“They have come to a decision.”

Slaine was woken up from the strange trance he had fallen into when hearing Orange speak to him, and held his breath nervously while staring at his enemy, waiting for him to continue:

“A suitable alpha will be decided as your mate,” were the words that landed in his ears, and a shock bolted through the blond.

‘ _Terran scum!_ ’ he thought infuriated. He knew this would happen, but hearing it made it all too real and hurtful.

That was the last drop of his patience and disallowed him to hold up the act of being a butterfly in a glass jar. Slaine stood up from the chair so abruptly the chair fell and crashed against the floor, and he violently threw the tray with sandwiches and coffee off the table. The plastic mug clattered to the floor and splashed the cold coffee on the smooth surface of the tiles.

“That is not acceptable!” Slaine yelled with rumbling anger. “I won’t acknowledge that decision! I belong to no one!”

“You have no choice,” the brunet answered. “Suppressants are too dangerous and contraceptives won’t help you when the heat comes. To calm all that, an alpha will try to bond with you.”

“And let them fuck and impregnate me?!” Slaine barked so loudly with fury his voice tore at his throat. “They will never get to mark me. I will never present my neck to them!”

Orange stared at him for a long time, probably thinking of how obstinate the former tyrant was. No alpha would willingly keep their hands and dick in check if they had bonded with an Omega. It did not matter what Orange or anyone tried to tell him to calm him down; Slaine knew he would be subjected to the alpha’s will and instinct to mate. He had been through enough encounters with alphas and seen enough misery in the omega population to know the rules of the game all too well.

Did they think Slaine would give in and accept a stranger to control his heats and let them mount him whenever they wished? Did they honestly believe he would let someone put a child in him and have him deliver it just like that?

‘ _Of course not_ ,’ he thought and gritted his teeth as he glared at the brown-haired young man. ‘ _They’ll force me if they have to_.’

It angered and frightened him so much that he felt dizzy and frail – like his flame was being suffocated – and the helplessness made him so frightened he had to support himself against the table as his knees were growing weak. The table’s legs scraped against the tiled floor when he leaned against it.

Sweat began to pearl down his temples as anxiety roared inside him from feeling crushed in the hands of Terran alphas. He felt as if he had to vomit. Then again, the heat made his mind spin with the thought of being impregnated, and the muscles in his pelvis began cramping once again as his body felt painfully empty. He was becoming confused.

‘ _Stop!_ ’ he begged his delusional mind. He had to stay clear minded in this difficult situation and not mindlessly give in to the heat’s false impressions of what this mate he would get meant to him as an omega.

“I have to regrettably inform you that if you won’t accept the alpha presented to you, the alpha will still try to make you theirs with whatever means possible,” Orange said with that emotionless expression Slaine hated.

“They will rape me, you mean!” Slaine growled and bore his harsh glare into the young man watching him from the other side of the wall, and silently cursed:

‘ _You have no sympathy to share!_ ’

“It would be easier if you didn’t make them force you into this-” the brunet began, but did not get the chance to finish.

The anger and fear took control of the former tyrant and the butterfly became a firecracker: He grabbed the table and threw it out of his way with such force it slammed against the wall to his right. The glass quivered violently from the brutal collision, momentarily sounding like a drum as it turned the kinetic energy of the hit into sound. With his path now free, he stomped up to the wall between him and the perfectly calm Orange and glared at the brunet on the other side.

“Is this how you Terran alphas treat prisoners that are omegas? You force them to become your mates?” he hissed mercilessly.

The brunet did not react to Slaine’s anger or threatening voice and simply stared at the blond young man – knowing he was safe behind the wall.

“No, this is not how we treat omegas; you are a special case. We won’t have to force you if you give yourself-“ Orange tried again, but Slaine slammed his fist against the wall and supported himself with his hands against it to lower his eyes to the same level as his enemy’s face, staring intensely at him like a dangerous feline during a hunt.

“How many times will you alphas shove the responsibility away from you and put it all on the omegas? That’s what children do,” he hissed. “Don’t even begin to imagine I would feel honored to be this ‘special case’ you speak about. Never put the blame on me if I am raped by some disgusting Terran scum, since that is not my fault. The responsibility to not do that lies with the alpha,” he cursed with a snake-like hiss. “No one has the right to my body.”

He was tired of them putting all the responsibility and blame on him simply because he was an omega. The nurse had treated him like nuisance for being in heat, and Orange was trying to justify that others were allowed to decide Slaine’s fate for him by putting the blame of the consequences on the omega if he refused to accept it.

Orange basically told him that if Slaine refused to accept the alpha, it was Slaine’s own fault if he was hurt. It had been like that ever since he had gotten his first heat as a fourteen year-old on board Castle Cruhteo; all the hurt others had subjected him to had been his own fault because of him being born as an omega.

‘ _This is none of my fault! I can’t help being born this way, and I can’t help that you’re all insane to make it into a big deal like this!_ ’ Slaine cried out of frustration in his mind.

The omega population had been taught for thousands of years to be less than an alpha or beta because of their alluring pheromones and attractiveness. Because of the society being so discriminating against the omega population that it severely crippled their job careers, it had become common for omegas to search for a successful alpha to bond and marry with so that a secure and stable future awaited the omega financially and material wise; love had nearly nothing to do with it; it was like a simple business deal with the “you give me security, and I give you children” mentality.

However, some went to the lengths of luring an alpha into falling in love with them simply to achieve this security without bonding with them rather than making a deal like most omegas did; some very clever omegas made alphas into their slaves by controlling them emotionally, without the alphas noticing anything was wrong despite no bonding happening between them.

In the discourse, this control of a partner was known as The Cleopatra Inheritance, a power which was considered nearly in a demonic light by alphas and betas, mostly because the alpha population was weak against the highly clever omegas who utilized this power to get what they wanted. The alphas who fell victim – since that was what the discourse called it – to this power were in the omega’s control and would give the omega nearly everything the omega demanded. It was a force so powerful it had proven to shake nations to their core for over thousands of years, but Slaine thought of it as an obvious effect of the harsh climate the alpha and beta population had created for the omegas since the beginning of humanity; some were bound to fight back.

Because of this fear for the omega population’s power over alphas – even if it was very rare – the culture in society had grown harsher and harsher against the omega population, desperately trying to silence and disarm the clever omegas from using this power. And it had worked: In the modern day, omegas were treated worse than ever; they were told they had rights by law, but no one bothered to neither uphold nor respect it.

Even if the nations had worked hard to actualize the human rights for omegas, the nations were far from reaching their goal for equal rights between the population groups. Slaine found it disgusting and contradicting to have alphas do the most of this work, since what the hell did they know about how an omega was treated and handled, viewed and met by the rest of the population? Human slavery was still widespread in the omega population, and the progress of diminishing this was too slow. He liked to blame the alphas in charge of this work, since he had been taught from his experiences that alphas were never to be trusted and only cared about their own success.

“I will never be forced into slavery,” the blond instead growled while feeling wild from anger. “Whoever tries to become my mate by marking me will have to fight me day in and day out, since I will never stop rejecting them.”

Orange simply stared expressionlessly at Slaine as he warned:

“We shall see about that.” Even if his expression was devoid of emotion, there seemed to be some kind of unhappiness in the Terran alpha’s voice. This threw off the omega for a short moment before the alpha managed to anger him once more: “After a couple of mating occasions, I am sure you will find it difficult to fight back.”

Slaine scoffed, patronizing the brunet.

“You think that little of me?” he asked and glared at Orange with narrowed eyes despite he knew there was some truth in what the brunet had said.

“I think of what’s logical,” the other answered as he stared back at the former tyrant without looking away. “Any omega will give in once they get used to the alpha.”

“What do you know about that?” the blond spat. “You’re an alpha who has never mated before!”

“You know that?” the brunet asked and seemed surprised, and Slaine was thrown off his trail of thoughts once more from realizing he had unintentionally hit jack-pot, and then smiled like a pleased cat from victory.

“Yes. You smell like a virgin. Your inexperience reeks even,” he purred now that he finally had found something he could use to bash his captor with. As ridiculous as it was, it was the only weapon he had right now. “You know nothing about how an omega feels and how they squirm and moan beneath you when you mount them and give them your knot. How can you possibly know how the mating process looks like in an omega?” he asked and smiled with teasing seduction as he lightly and playfully brushed the glass wall right in front of Orange’s face with his fingertips. “I could show you…” he continued softly and seductively – seeing a flicker of heat in the brunet’s eye – before Slaine’s voice turned into a growl and his expression was painted with anger again: “If it wasn’t for that blank face of yours; the face of my captor and enemy!” he continued and slammed the wall in front of Orange’s face with the same hand that had mischievously brushed it a breath earlier.

The brunet woke up from the brief heat Slaine had lured him into with soft words, and Slaine smiled triumphantly.

‘ _I am dangerous to you_ ,’ the blond thought satisfied. ‘ _I can lure you with just a single look. How pathetic_.’

“You seem to have plenty of experience,” Orange said without giving any reaction to Slaine’s scornful and venomous words.

Slaine scoffed again:

“Of course,” he said as he arched an eyebrow and raised his head a little to proudly look down on the brunet. “An unimportant omega like me is quite useful when in heat if you want to keep your crew happy,” he said with a sneer, but suddenly felt a bitter taste on his tongue as he was brutally thrown back into horrible memories from his time on Cruhteo’s landing castle, understanding such experience was nothing to be proud of.

Suddenly, as if all air had seeped out of his lungs, his knees trembled and made him drop down onto the tiled floor. There, he hung his head and wrapped quivering arms around him, hugging his shoulders tightly as if protecting himself from physical abuse.

The ghostly sensation of disgusting hands holding him down and touching, pulling and tearing at him like vultures… The memories of strangers chasing him down the corridors like wild animals before catching him and forcing themselves on him…

The former tyrant felt exhausted. He had fallen into a trap of triggers all on his own accord after desperately trying to maintain his pride in front of the Terran he hated the most. It had been ridiculous. After being locked up in prison, only four months had been enough to make Slaine change; he had gone from calm and collected to someone who acted like a juvenile child.

“I understand you have plenty of horrible experiences,” the brunet said from the other side of the glass. His voice had no hint of scorn in it, which surprised the blond omega after all the hateful words he had thrown at him and giving him an opportunity to ridicule him; it was as emotionless as always.

“When will the alpha be decided?” Slaine asked instead; he had no wish to speak about his experiences anymore.

“Give it an hour or two,” his captor answered. “They will probably choose someone who has good genes.”

Slaine shook his head. He knew it was not so.

“No,” he mumbled. “They will choose someone they respect, who also knows about me being alive, and won’t base the decision on the quality of their genes,” he said quietly and tightened his arms around himself. “It will probably be someone high up on the hierarchy – in other words, someone who is old. They will pat them on their back and congratulate them for being chosen as the mate to an omega who has no choice but to carry their children… That scenario is where my fate lies.”

The room went silent for a while and Slaine felt himself begin shivering. All he could think about was Asseylum’s beautiful face. He had always wanted her to impregnate him and make him hers. He would have gladly given her as many children as she wished without a second thought – increased her family to keep her Aldnoah lineage strong and flourishing and given her the joy of a large family.

Now, he would be forced to hand his womb over to a greedy alpha who gave little to no concern for his wellbeing; if the alpha who was chosen really cared about morals and ethics, they would not accept the offer, which meant only a greedy bastard would accept the idea and go along with it.

Slaine was sure he would get a mate who saw him as nothing but a child factory.

“I’m sorry,” Orange finally said, breaking off the silence with a gentle whisper, and Slaine looked up at the young man from behind his disheveled bangs. Worry swam in the brunet’s eye, but Slaine was not interested in it:

“No, you’re not…” he said quietly instead and glared at the other with blameful eyes.

αβΩ

It was as if time stood still in his glass jar. Slaine had been sitting on the floor in a corner, wrapped up in a blanket to hide from the staring eyes of the guards around him. He felt like an animal in there, put on display for being a rare omega – who was rare in other ways than simply being a childbearing being. He had been the first omega to be of as high rank as an Orbital Knight and nearly founded a new kingdom. It was never heard of before, which made him somewhat proud of what he had done in the midst of hurting his beloved Asseylum; he had proven to the world that an omega, too, was capable of being a ruler.

Slaine had entirely challenged the socially constructed hierarchy system by becoming someone both worlds knew by name and whom they could not ignore; people on Earth and Mars were forced to admit his feats and get an emotional reaction when hearing his name. Slaine did not mind his name carried emotions of negative character; what was important was that his name carried some kind of charge at all.

‘ _Two entire worlds know my name; every person on these worlds does. How many alphas would feel threatened by what I have done?_ ’ he wondered and mused as he nibbled on the thought like a rat enjoying a cracker.

Of course, it would not come to light what he truly was. No one would probably know about him being an omega who had successfully thrown two worlds into chaos; they would always think of him as an alpha. The ones who were in control of his imprisonment and knew the truth would be the only ones to know an omega had managed to impersonate a powerful alpha.

‘ _But still_ ,’ he thought with a tired smile. ‘ _At least those alphas in control of me will feel threatened. You’re welcome, self-proclaimed authoritarians_.’

Then, as the thought had been thought and the remaining fragments of it had disappeared, the reality of his situation loomed over him like a shadow. He being such a special case attracted scorn and unwanted attention, and he was sure he would become a victim of some sort of bullying as well. On top of that, soon, an alpha would be decided for him and he would bear a child for them whether he liked it or not; his body would become someone else’s.

‘ _Give me a break…!_ ’ he thought and took a deep breath to ease the tightness in his chest. ‘ _I don’t want to_.’ He squeezed his knees tighter with arms around them. ‘ _Just stop already…_ ’

To be taken without consent was something he had not experienced in a couple of years after Saazbaum had taken him under his wing and given him suppressant drugs. No one had touched him with forceful hands since then, which made him fear this oncoming experience with the chosen alpha.

Before he had gotten the suppressant drugs, he had been allowed to be nearly entirely desensitized and apathetic after two years in the hands of hundreds of crewmembers on board Castle Cruhteo, which had also made him stop resisting the crew assaulting him. Then, about two years had passed where he had not been forced into anything by anyone; all the sexual activities had been on his terms and his terms only, which had rehabilitated him somewhat to find back to his true self. This had made him forget the reluctance to care about when he was taken and by whom, but now he was suddenly forced to find that role of a victim again.

‘ _How? I have more pride now; I grew up from that victimized boy_ ,’ he thought and sighed and remembered back to his time as an omega serving the crew.

Back then, he had been attacked by alphas in the landing castle corridors, and betas had been encouraged and even pushed by their officers to have their share of him as well, forcing his lord to feed him contraceptives to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. It would have been outrageous had he been impregnated by a Martian officer; Martian and Terran blood should never be mixed according to the late Count Cruhteo. The result would have been an unclean abomination.

This had made Slaine terrified back then; had he become pregnant on board Cruhteo’s castle, he had been sure Cruhteo would have ripped the fetus out of his womb with bare hands. It had probably been a delusion created by the count’s words and Slaine’s fear of him, since Cruhteo as a frightening force had been absolute for the blond omega, but – at the time – it had been a true fear nonetheless, whether it had actually been real or not.

‘ _That was about three years ago_ ,’ the blond thought, took a deep breath and knitted his fingers together where they rested in his lap. ‘ _To be marked…_ ’ sighed the tired omega and raised his hand to the nape of his neck where no alpha had managed to bite him yet.

A shiver ran down his spine from remembering how his first years in puberty had been like; his heats had been ridiculously strong from the very beginning when he had been fourteen years old, and it had taken a while for him to get used to them and handle them before they had gotten on a normal and slightly bearable level. That process had taken nearly a year.

He could remember the sensation of the choker Cruhteo had put around his neck to protect it from greedy alphas who tried to bond with the blond when catching him. He could still hear the unpleasant sound of them trying to chew through the choker out of pure and desperate instinct, and he could still feel his own inexperienced anxiety of wanting to remove the choker and let the first and best alpha mark him as theirs due to the horrible intensity of his heat – despite the alphas had been raping him. The boy had been screaming and crying for the alphas to release him, but he had also been clawing on the choker from wanting to expose his neck to his assaulters and whimpered out of frustration, as though possessed by the heat.

‘ _How disgusting_ ,’ he thought and leaned his head against the corner where he sat. ‘ _I’m so tired…_ ’

Slaine wished he had a place he could call a home so that he could miss its safety. Now, as he sat there in the cold corner, he had nothing of his own except for a talisman around his neck. He had been stripped of everything that acknowledged his existence and been given the bare minimum a living creature needed to survive. He owned nearly nothing – he did not even own his body now that the truth of he being an omega had come to light. The only thing that still was his, and that was as true as the fact that he was still breathing, was his father’s talisman.

‘ _Dad…_ ’ he thought and raised his hand to curl his fingers around the trinket. It felt pleasant in his hand, as if it belonged there. ‘ _I miss you. I always did_.’

He wondered what his father had been thinking of having a son who was an omega; the man had died before the young man had gone into puberty and gotten his violent heats, and not taught the young Slaine what it meant to be an omega in this sick world.

‘ _Was he happy or disappointed?_ ’ Slaine wondered, feeling unsure because of his father’s lack of interest in being a father after Slaine had grown closer to his puberty starting; his father had been the hard-working Dr. Troyard rather than a father.

In the society of both Vers and Earth, alphas were preferred over omegas for they were the leaders, which was completely demented considering alphas were solely born from omegas. Slaine had not gotten to know his father well enough to know where the man had stood in the matter, who had been an alpha himself.

Then the image of his truly beloved – the first princess of Vers – tried to force itself to develop in his mind as he was reminded he had once given the talisman to her. Slaine quickly pushed the memory of the beautiful alpha back as if throwing black ink all over it from fright, expelling the image of her by force. He could not think about the beautiful alpha woman as it hurt enough to make him feel nauseous. It all threatened to well over him and drown him in guilt; all he had done to and for her simply because he had believed she had been his only true mate… The belief had maddened and irrationalized him, and – in the end – she had refused him and found a more suitable mate.

‘ _A stray omega like me goes insane after a while…_ ’ he thought and sighed heavily.

Slaine’s heart had fallen into pieces that day when he had lost the war after the princess had declared ceasefire and presented her mate to the worlds, but he had been proud of her at the same time for being strong. She had had all the right to refuse him, since nothing of what he had done to her had been anything good; he had only hurt her in more ways than he wanted to admit.

‘ _I will never find a mate_ ,’ the young man thought and sighed. ‘ _The one I wanted to give myself to rejected me, and there is no one else; I’ll always be a stray omega_ …’

He would carry children for a stranger, and he would only see these four walls surrounding him and never rest his eyes on vast worlds and blue skies again. He would become a slave no matter how much he fought, because, in here, where he had no rights, he was forced into submission with every trick in the book.

Orange had been right about the omega not being able to resist an alpha for long.

‘ _Once my body gets used to the chosen alpha, my mind will start to follow,_ ’ he hopelessly thought. ‘ _The alpha will mark me in no time, and then I cease to be Slaine Troyard entirely…_ ’

The inexperience of the bite was frightening. Slaine had no idea how the bite would feel and what would happen to him after that. The only thing he knew was he would expose his neck soon enough by an impulse in the middle of mating and let the alpha mark him as theirs; creating some kind of bond he knew nothing about. This bond would be absolute until either of them died, and it would calm his heats; only going into heat when the alpha recreated the feeling of their bond by biting Slaine during them mating.

Slaine had been told that an omega would go into heat immediately once bitten by their mate after the bonding bite. This meant his body would crave for only his mate and reject everyone else by using violence if he had to.

‘ _How can something like that be possible if I detest my mate harshly?_ ’ he wondered concerned.

Was it even possible to throw away all of his standards, morals and will just because he was marked by an alpha? Would he mindlessly accept anyone who managed to bite him and leave a mark that told everyone he was someone’s omega? He would simply be a trophy and nothing more! How could it be possible for him to be reduced into something like that by the mark?

‘ _Will I senselessly give the alpha kids after the bond, not being able to fight them?_ ’

Just thinking about being impregnated made his loins burn again, but disgust welled up at the same time from thinking about a stranger releasing their seed into him and claiming ownership of him – a stranger he had not chosen himself. He hated the idea of the wrong mate’s semen being released into him, but his instincts betrayed him as they were screaming at him that it would be nothing but heaven.

‘ _I won’t be able to fight. They’ll own me completely if my heat continues like this_ ,’ he thought and felt more exhausted than before. The hand holding his father’s talisman lost strength and fell into his lap, and his neck went weak and made him rest his chin against his chest while his body slumped against the corner behind him. ‘ _I don’t want that… Why won’t Orange kill me?_ ’


	3. The Uncontrolled

At some point in the still standing time, the blond prisoner had fallen into a slumber. The thoughts he had been occupied with had tired him out as there had been nothing to distract his mind from falling into the pit of brooding. Thoughts had a tendency to do that to him, mostly because he thought long and hard on even the most trivial things when his mind was peaceful enough to allow him doing that, and he usually twisted even the good things he thought about to become negative, thereby the exhaustion.

The short time he had spent in prison had steered his thoughts to be about things he regretted, or things that he did not regret but which made him feel tremendous guilt instead. The things he had done in the name of the woman he had loved had been horrible and hurt her deeply, and even if he did not regret everything of what he had done – since he truly believed he had been protecting her wish although in a demented way – he did feel mortified and tortured by it all. Why did the human mind have to be this complicated?, he wondered frustrated.

He had known all along that he would feel this way in the end, but at the time he had decided not to care about it too much; it was a future concern, he had thought back then, which would have ideally been solved by suicide or death in battle.

Now, he had caught up with his future and was suffering from it as he had not been allowed to end his life. He could not procrastinate facing it any longer and had to battle the consequences. It was difficult and hard on him, he had to admit that, and – since he was not allowed to die – he shamefully wished to at least be allowed to rot away in this prison in peace.

Instead, he was to be thrown into the hands of a stranger and live his life as their mate.

Something moved outside of his glass jar; the light flickered as if someone had interrupted the rays from the fluorescent lights, and it had caught the butterfly’s attention where he was hiding beneath the blanket. There were muffled voices hovering in the room outside that barely reached inside his physical confinement. They were more like a hunch of sounds rather than proper voices due to the solid glass walls. It tickled his curiosity, though, and he peeked out from beneath the blanket.

His heart began beating wildly as he saw Orange speak with five guards, probably giving them instructions. The young alpha had his usual blank expression on his face, but he radiated some kind of seriousness that made him look respectable and charismatic.

Because he was young his alpha characteristics were still not properly developed, but Slaine could clearly see them brewing beneath the thin surface of a young man who was in the middle of the process of coming of age. Unlike an omega who became fertile and ready for children quite early, the alpha population took their time of developing the known traits and characteristics that would not show properly until they were in mid-twenties.

Orange still had the appearance of a teenager, but Slaine felt painfully curious about how he would look like in five years, and then after ten years. Fifteen… Twenty… What about thirty?

‘ _Stop it!_ ’ he brusquely told himself as he suspected his thoughts to spin out of control because of his heat.

They spoke for a while and Slaine watched the guards nod to Orange’s orders and, when they were finished, they turned to walk toward the butterfly’s glass jar.

Slaine immediately stood up from his corner and pushed his back up against it as he watched the guards unlock and open the door into his glass jar, disturbing the butterfly that was put on display. He pulled the blanket tightly around him and glared at them.

“Come with us. No fighting, please,” a guard said with a demanding tone, who Slaine had always thought to be the team’s leader.

“Where to?” the obstinate omega wondered, and immediately got an answer:

“To the shower room.”

It was obvious the guard was following Orange’s order of being respectful toward the blond prisoner and not because the guard actually saw Slaine as a fellow living creature; he spoke with pretended respect. The agitated prisoner could hear it all too clearly, and it pissed him off – not wanting to obey even the slightest if he could help it.

Slaine glared at the guards, alternating his gaze between the five of them before it landed on Orange in the background. The brunet had put a mask on to protect him from Slaine’s pheromones in case the blond omega would get a flash of heat and pump out the seductive smell into the room, but had his usual expressionless look in his face.

“Why?” Slaine asked the guards and gritted his teeth, readying himself to fight, and the guard – a beta – answered:

“Because your assigned mate will arrive later today, and you have to be prepared for him.”

‘ _How humiliating…_ ’ he thought and glowered at the guards and then at Orange. ‘ _I’ll be made ready for him by being washed and properly cleaned? The alpha better be dressed in his finest suit and be newly washed too._ ’

Otherwise it would be unfair.

“No,” the blond prisoner hissed dangerously. “I will not come with you.”

The guard sighed heavily from irritation.

“You are not allowed to decide that,” he said and nodded to his colleagues, who all stepped forward, toward Slaine.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” the omega growled and slapped a hand away that had reached for him to pull him along.

“Don’t fight back; we will take you with us by force if we have to, since that was our order,” the beta answered.

Slaine pushed himself as hard against the corner as he could and watched the annoyed glares of the guards cornering him. He knew they would jump him any moment to drag him out of his glass jar; he had been through enough similar situations with the guards that he knew he would not be able to fight back; they would fulfill their order one way or another.

Recently he had become obedient whenever he was to be hauled around in the prison, but now, however, he would not give in without at least trying to fight back to protest against his decided fate. His pride would not let him crumble in front of Orange.

‘ _Come at me then_ ,’ he thought and held his breath. ‘ _Force me to obey you, since I won’t give you the pleasure of coming willingly. You won’t be able to control me!_ ’

It was useless to fight back; they would win either way – he knew that. It was just that he could not allow them to tame him when things had become this warped and unfair. He would make this entire deal with the alpha into a living hell for everyone involved, even if it meant he would lose each time he put up a fight.

As he had predicted, three guards abruptly trapped him tightly against the corner; he had no room to fight back; they were like robust walls pushing him into the corner to prevent him from getting enough space to actually struggle until someone got hurt. He barely got the space he needed to breathe from them pushing him so tightly against the walls behind him.

They took secure grips around his wrists and shoulders to drag him out of his hiding place, and he was pulled out with such force his feet stumbled and nearly made him fall. The guards secured their grip on him the moment he was pulled out of the corner, and his arms were bound by strong hands behind his back.

They dragged him along the corridors by his arms and clothes and down into the shower room. There, he continued fighting back by refusing to let the guards undress him, which forced the guards to finally cut him out of the gently blue clothes. He was so violent that, once he was shown into the shower room, all five guards had to help each other to wash him.

Slaine tried to bite them, spit at them, kick them and hit them each time he got the chance, and – in the end – he was held face down against the floor by his arms and legs by four guards while the fifth carefully washed him with a sponge. That was when he gave up; he was completely overpowered.

When he had been daring and tried pulling his arms and legs free, the guards had pinned him down hard enough he had unintentionally yelped from pain. He was sure his wrists and feet would turn blue from their harsh handling; they held him tightly, to the point his fingers and toes pulsated uncomfortably. His body would be covered with bruises before the day was over, he figured while he felt the sponge rub down his back and hip and then his legs.

The breaths that escaped him were deep and strained after the violent struggle, and his chest heaved along with them and made the water beneath his cheek splatter with each breath. Exhaustion came over him and he decided he would save his remaining strength to fight the alpha instead – if he could.

Fight. Fight. Fight… That was all he did in this prison and he was getting tired. For how long would he be able to be obstinate? He had more or less gone through the entire spectrum of aggressive behavior during these four months from the first day of his captivity, and there was no end in sight.

After the guard had finished washing his back, he was brusquely turned around, as if the guards tried to be as quick as they could and use surprise-tactics to turn him before he got time to resist. His wet hair, which had not been cut for four months, got stuck to his face, and he gasped as the back of his head hit the floor and his limbs were pinned down again by the guards. Then, when the brief commotion had calmed, he opened his eyes and looked up at the five guards trying to fulfill the order they had gotten.

Slaine smirked.

‘ _You think you’ll get away with this without me causing you trouble?_ ’ he thought and bit his lower lip and looked at the guard lathering up the sponge. ‘ _I’m wet and naked. I bet you like the sight._ ’

The omega slightly squinted with his eyes while patiently waiting for the beta to look at him, and as the man did, Slaine curved his back just slightly to accentuate his forms and tried to present them for him despite he was held down by four guards.

“Hey…” he said quietly with a purring voice and locked his gaze onto the guard’s, who froze. “You know I’m in heat, right?” Slaine licked his upper lip seductively and dragged his teeth over his lower lip while gazing at the guard. “My body feels hot from all this. Five beta males… Strange isn’t it, how something this rough can make my loins burn?” All five guards became hyper-focused on him and Slaine could feel the shift in the atmosphere instantly. It became heavy with sexual tension, which amused Slaine that he chuckled quietly, and then tried to squirm a little. “Your grips are so tight,” he gasped and felt those who held him tighten their holds for a different reason than they had first intended. “I might not be able to pull myself free if you got the idea to give me your hot and steamy beef injection and fill me up with your-”

“Shut up!” the guard who was supposed to wash him interrupted urgently but quietly. He looked angered but seemed to slowly morph the sense of duty and order he had gotten into lust for carnal pleasure – warping it more and more for each moment he stared at the blond prisoner.

“Oh, I can shut up,” Slaine continued purring and flashed him the most sultry bedroom eyes he could muster. He squirmed again and felt the other guards grip him harder yet again, and whimpered pathetically. “I can be _really_ quiet, with each and every one of you.”

“We aren’t here to do anything else but wash you,” the guard holding Slaine’s right wrist said, and Slaine looked up at him.

“You’re right,” the omega said quietly while smiling mischievously, without letting the man’s gaze go with his; he watched him intently. “Then wash me,” he whispered.

‘ _I won’t be obedient, nor will I behave. I’ll cause as much trouble I can because I dare to and can. Orange won’t get a moment of rest if I can help it, and neither will the staff and the alpha_.’

The moment the sponge began rubbing his ribs Slaine began moaning and gasping quietly – exaggerating it subtly but with a clear message that he wanted to mate and did not mind if the guards invaded his needy body.

The tension grew for each gasp and moan that escaped from the omega’s throat, and they all began gritting their teeth. The sponge running across Slaine’s chest and stomach rubbed slower and harder against him, as if the guard washing him was feeling painfully frustrated, and Slaine moved his hips just slightly the moment he noticed it and looked the guard in the eyes.

“You haven’t had the pleasure to fuck an omega before, have you? Do you like what you see?” the omega asked with a seductive whisper. “Is this hard on you? On all of you?” he continued and looked around the group of guards. “It’s okay; I won’t say anything to your superiors. You can stick it in, just a little. I know you want to, and it’s really easy, too. I promise it’ll feel good.”

Laughably, they all behaved similar to an alpha, but they were good at holding themselves together due to them not getting entirely influenced by Slaine’s pheromones. The blond knew they could hint the scent, which was sweet and alluring, but they were not controlled by it like an alpha would be. Betas could keep it together, but it was all about their strength of will rather than instincts.

The guard washing him grunted and looked around the shower room before he looked down at Slaine again, who grinned back at him. Then the guard began unbuckling his belt.

“Just the tip…” the man said quietly and looked at his colleagues. “Don’t you fucking dare say a word to the warden or Kaizuka. We’re all in this together.”

In the end, the others holding his legs down spread them enough for the other to get access to Slaine’s entrance, and the victorious omega chuckled pleased as he heard the raspy sound of the fly to the beta’s pants being opened. The sound tickled his ears. So many times he had heard that sound in his life… It never grew old; it sickened him each time.

“Just like that,” Slaine whispered. “Push inside me. I’ll take you in. Fuck me…”

“Shut up…!” the guard hissed and looked like he was sweating from eagerness and nervousness.

He pulled out his already rock-hard cock from inside his trousers and stared at Slaine like a predator, moving his hand up and down on the fleshy shaft to ready himself for whatever unknown pleasures the omega’s body could give him.

“Come on. While you’re at it, why not try biting me and pretend you’re an alpha?” the blond chuckled quietly and turned his head to the side to present his neck for the man. “I can’t bond with you, but wouldn’t it be fun to tr-?“

“Not a sound,” the guard interrupted the omega with a warning and leaned over him.

Slaine just smiled and leaned his head back, exposing his neck to a useless beta who probably wished he could bite him and mark him as his. A beta could never claim an omega like an alpha could, but they sure loved to try anyway in the heat of the moment – idolizing the oppressing sociopaths Slaine thought alphas were.

As he could feel the hot tip of his assaulter push against his already wet opening, slipping in just a little bit, enough to coax a sigh out of the omega, a door opened and a voice said:

“That’s enough. Release him.”

It was Orange’s voice.

Slaine took a deep breath from annoyance and slumped against the floor, staring up at the ceiling when the guards quickly obeyed and let go of the blond.

“Tsk!” the blond spat and turned his face to glare at Orange without getting up from the floor. “Why do you have to spoil the fun?” he then asked with a hateful complaint.

“Because you are reserved and assigned to someone else,” Orange answered and looked at the guards, who tried to look brave. “All of you – finish this up without any more straying activities. He has to be washed for the assigned alpha who will come to claim him later today.”

Again, Slaine could hear some sort of lamenting tone in Orange’s voice, as if the young man was not entirely approving of what was going to happen to the prisoner. Slaine frowned as he let the tone linger in his brain before the guards – who were agitated by sexual urges – continued washing him.

‘ _His scent…_ ’ the omega thought as he felt a whiff of Orange’s scent as the door closed behind the brunet after he left the shower room. Something in the young alpha’s scent perked Slaine’s interest, and for a moment he felt his loins tingle and burn again.

Said and done, Slaine was properly washed and put into a blue hospital gown that was tied up at the back over his shoulders and waist area, leaving the rest of the back open. He got nothing else to wear, which was excruciatingly humiliating. He was dressed in the gown probably to give his assigned alpha easier access to him, and it made the blond feel disgusted.

After that, he was shown back into the chamber, where he slumped down in his corner and wrapped the same blanket around him as before to hide and give himself some kind of desperate privacy. Orange’s scent had stirred something in the omega, which made Slaine fear his heat would explode once again.

He decided to stay there inside his soft castle for the rest of the remaining time before the alpha would arrive, and he would not speak to anyone during that time. It was his time. His alone-time – the time he liked the best. Then, out of nowhere, he fell into a maddening heat, and he quietly howled and gasped from frustration as he refused to touch himself in this vulnerable state.

αβΩ

Muffled voices were heard from outside the glass jar a couple of hours later after he had calmed down, and Slaine opened the blanket around him to look out at what was going on. A man with his back turned toward the interrogation room, dressed in a suit and who he had probably not seen before, spoke to the warden and Orange. He was wearing a navy blue suit with three golden stripes – one of which were thick compared to the other two – and a star on his cuffs, and he had gilded shoulders that looked strong and broad enough to carry heavy responsibilities.

‘ _The alpha!_ ’ he thought and felt like cowering in the corner.

His loins began to heat up when his body betrayed him. All he could see was the gold the man wore on his shoulders, since they were a sign the man was of high rank. Automatically, his reason was taken over by his instincts, telling him the man was a suitable mate simply because of his rank. His fated mate had rejected him anyway; what use was there to stay true to her when she would never speak to, or look at him again?

‘ _Stop thinking like that! I don’t want him…_ ’ he thought and took a lungful of air as even his breaths began to feel hot. ‘ _But I want to mate, too… I really … really … want to…_ ’

The three stripes and the star told Slaine he was a vice admiral; very high up in the navy hierarchy. It would not have surprised him if he had been fighting against the alpha in the war, which made it kind of ironic that the alpha would now become his mate, and the alpha’s rank was the sole reason why the blond omega went into heat.

Luckily, since the alpha chosen for him was not his fated mate, Slaine could still fight back if he wanted to; he was not forced to give in to his instincts entirely.

‘ _He won’t mark me…_ ’ he thought and gasped while desperately hugging his body. ‘ _I won’t let him. Even if he knots in me…_ ’

The mere thought of feeling an alpha’s knot inside him made him finally give up after fighting the impulsive urge for such a short time that it was his new record on how quickly he gave up resisting a mate. He had not mated with an alpha for many years and his intoxicated body and mind hungered for whoever could give him the sweet sensation of sex. Now that the former tyrant was clean from all the effects from suppressant drugs, he fell into such heat he was completely consumed by it. His needy hole lubricated a sticky secretion and his skin crawled from want.

Slowly, with a weakened body, he pushed himself up from the corner and walked up to the wall the alpha had turned his back toward. The wet and sticky feeling running down between his thighs made him want to rub his hands between his legs to mess with himself and please him the little he could without the alpha’s aid, but refrained from doing so as he was far more interested in sensing the alpha’s hands rather than his own on his crotch.

The man, who would mate with him within a short moment – Slaine was very aware of that – had not noticed the omega behind him, and Slaine leaned against the wall with his hands and dragged his nails down the glass while staring at him like in a daze. The blond was so close to the alpha that he could have reached out a hand to touch him if there were no wall between them.

Orange and the warden looked up at him with surprise, and, once the vice admiral noticed that they were looking at something, he turned to look as well.

Surprise welled over the stranger’s expression as he saw Slaine, who greedily stared back at him with seductive and desperate eyes with lips parted, panting from heat and clouded the glass in front of him with his moist breaths. The man looked like he was between fifty or sixty years old, but the omega could not care less at this point. All he wanted was someone to take him.

‘ _Come on, you narcissist. Show me what you got. Push me down… Take me… Make a mess of me…_ ’ the omega thought in a heated trance and tried to lure the man into entering the interrogation room with his body language that spoke smoothly, telling the man that Slaine wanted his knot. ‘ _Fuck me…_ ’

The alpha’s eyes began to burn with delighted lust as he saw the blond omega stare at him so seductively. Slaine watched the man say something to the others in the room and began unbuttoning his pompous blazer, and they quickly obeyed whatever order he gave them and left – except Orange, who also stared at the omega. He, however, stared at Slaine with an expression devoid of heat and seemed to guard him rather than admire him.

‘ _Useless virgin_ ,’ Slaine thought frustrated and bit his lip seductively as he looked at the two alphas.

Orange was able to control himself somewhat more than a sexually experienced alpha could. It was the same thing for alphas as it was for the omegas; once their bodies became used to mating, their minds would closely follow.

That was why the world was so unfair toward omegas; after thousands of years of oppressing the omega population, the sexually experienced alphas thought omegas were helpless and pitiful creatures who needed strong and charismatic mates to protect them and give them what they could not provide for themselves. Slaine knew better than that: Society had taught omegas to be submissive and weak, and it was troublesome. A lot of the crimes done to the omega population could have been stopped by the assaulted omega if they had simply been taught to be strong – like Slaine – but society would not let them because everyone were already so delusional by the gender roles that no omegas got a chance to be something more than simply omegas; them being humans first and foremost had been forgotten.

The alphas became delusional the moment they felt the body of an omega embrace and please them, thinking they were the strong ones simply because they were the ones to push their cock into the flesh of an omega to impregnate them. It was all a ridiculous lie, though; Slaine refused to believe omegas were helpless and pitiful; they were the true snakes of society by fooling even the most charismatic and strongest alpha into desiring them.

It was a mystery why more omegas had not taken advantage of the Cleopatra Inheritance and become the top dogs of the food chain; they held the power; they should be worshipped rather than alphas, Slaine thought; omegas were the ones who gave the children and sacrificed the most in the entire world; their own bodies that risked breaking apart by giving birth to a new life.

There was nothing natural with giving birth, he believed, because of the needed assistance during labor; no other animal needed their kin to help them bring their children into the world. Therefore, if Slaine was to give a child, he wanted to be acknowledged as someone who had done a miracle and not like some breeding animal who should pop out kids whenever their mate desired just because his mate thought of it as “natural” to have Slaine’s body break apart each time.

The blond prisoner was a living proof of how powerful and snake-like an omega could be, and he was mightily proud of his feats, simply for having proven the insanity controlling the society’s view of omegas as wrong, who thought they were only good for bearing children. What would they think about Slaine then, who had been one of the most powerful omegas in both Earth and Mars, and who was soon to give birth to a life as well?; he could do both!

With all of this in consideration, Orange’s body and mind had not been warped by the heavenly sensation of mating yet; he simply felt the urge, but had no need to act it out unless he was affected by an omega’s pheromones directly. The vice admiral, however, seemed to have plenty of experience as even imagining the scent of an omega seemed to make him feel hot; he had the hungry and impatient look of a beast who knew he was allowed to not hold himself back from the omega, and Slaine grinned.

‘ _I’ll show you, alpha… Come in here and I’ll show you how strong an omega can be_ ,’ he thought and sighed as the alpha’s gaze wandered over his body.

Since Slaine had plenty of experience from before, he knew what he wanted from an alpha. He wanted to mate with someone who had experience and knew what to do to him. He wanted to mate with an alpha who could make him squirm from carnal pleasure and pull his hair, scream his throat sore and beg for more, and this alpha looked like he could fulfill that dangerous wish. If the vice admiral tried anything that Slaine did not approve of, the blond would punish him.

Orange said something to the vice admiral, who spoke back to him. The young alpha seemed not to want to leave Slaine alone with the vice admiral, since he persistently spoke back to the man with a determined look. The vice admiral seemed to begin feeling frustrated as well, seemingly impatient to get on with the mating, and got an angry frown on his face as he finally spoke louder. All the blond prisoner could hear was a muffled noise from outside the chamber, but Slaine could understand the man was getting angry at the persistent young alpha; he was probably being territorial about Slaine.

Finally, Orange decided to leave after throwing a last glance at the blond-haired prisoner, defeated by the older alpha’s harsh words. It was a warning look filled with pity, but Slaine could not care less about any warnings or pity because of his current state.

Once the room outside had been emptied of everyone but the vice admiral, Slaine slowly and seductively walked up to the door that led into the glass chamber and stroked his fingertips against the screws that held the handle screwed to the outside of the door; there was no handle on the inside of the chamber door. The omega kept staring at the alpha with wet and heated eyes as he played with the screw heads, silently begging the man to open the door.

The alpha waved his hand to him after removing his blazer and hanging it on the back of Orange’s chair. _Back away_ he commanded, and Slaine chuckled quietly and did as told. He withdrew all the way to the back of the chamber and hit his back against the wall. There he wanted the alpha to take him; push him up against the wall and make him whimper from lust and carnal pleasure. The thought made him grip his blue hospital gown and pull at it playfully while he watched the alpha open the door from the outside.

The moment the man stepped in Slaine saw his expression completely change from collected to animalistic; he was becoming aggressive like an alpha always did when feeling an omega’s pheromones. The omega’s pheromones were making him wild with lust and Slaine coaxed him nearer with a breathless voice:

“Come closer…”

That was all it took for the alpha to finally lose his composure. The vice admiral stepped up to Slaine and took a hold of his shoulders. The mere touch was intoxicating and the blond felt sexually aggressive. He let himself be turned around by the strong and forceful hands and, when the alpha was satisfied with his position, he pulled the open back of the hospital gown apart to expose the wet entrance and gain access to it with his fingers.

Slaine could feel something was off with the man’s scent. His pheromones told the blond omega something was not entirely right with him. Since the smell was completely new to him, Slaine could not determine what it was that made it smell so off-putting. The alpha was not ill or sick since that kind of smell would have been obvious even for other alphas, but something made Slaine’s instincts believe he should not mate with the man; his instincts did not want the man’s genes, probably because he was not a match.

‘ _Weak genes?_ ’ Slaine thought confused.

Despite that, Slaine gasped and writhed impatiently as the alpha took his sweet time to feel his body up. The large hands cupped his ass and squeezed the fleshy buns, and the omega released a pleased and agonized yelp from feeling the pull and squeezing on his flesh. Then the alpha pushed his hands up underneath the blond prisoner’s gown and traced his ribs with coarse fingertips. It forced a whimpering gasp from between Slaine’s lips and he pushed his forehead against the glass wall as he tried to endure the flames of heat licking him mercilessly.

“Just do me,” Slaine moaned as fingers brushed his left nipple and sent a shiver down his spine. His insides twitched at that sensation. “I’ve gone without it for too long…”

“Silence,” the alpha said with a low voice, distracted by the sensation Slaine’s silky skin gave his hands as he stroked the omega. “You may be used to giving orders, but I am the one giving them now.”

“You can try…” Slaine challenged him seductively.

One of the alpha’s hands reached all the way up to Slaine’s throat, and he took a hold of his jaw with a stern grip with a warm palm resting against the omega’s windpipe, straining his breaths just a little. The alpha’s hot breaths tickled Slaine’s ear as he whispered:

“Silence, omega. From now on, you will belong to me, and you will give me as many children as your body can bear before it falls apart, to replace the alphas and omegas you have killed.”

Slaine chuckled quietly but scornfully, belittling the alpha’s threat even if the blond knew it was nothing but true. No matter how much Slaine tried to fight the vice admiral, the staff in the prison was on the alpha’s side and would do anything they had to in order to have Slaine fulfill the alpha’s demands. Such were the rules the omega had learned the hard way a long time ago on board Castle Cruhteo.

Slaine was their enemy, after all; no one would take his side and help him, and that was why the blond had to fight as much as possible, to uphold his pride as Slaine Saazbaum Troyard and as an omega. No way would he let anyone tear that pride from his heart; he would not let his fellow omegas down by being defeated by having his spirit crushed.

“AH!”

Suddenly, two thick fingers entered him and Slaine released a cry from surprise. He could feel the alpha’s fingers move inside him to feel up his insides. The man pushed them deeper and deeper until Slaine’s flesh enveloped the base of the fingers. The fingertips inside him stretched and kneaded against his inner walls, releasing pleasures throughout Slaine’s craving body and made the omega tremble and quiver while he desperately gasped and moaned.

‘ _More!_ ’ the blond thought and began to move his hips, and the alpha’s fingers touched something pleasurable inside him.

Electric currents shot through him and made his knees want to buckle beneath him, but the vice admiral supported him unkindly with the hand around his throat and with the fingers buried deep inside him, cruelly preventing the omega to fall onto the floor from the shocking pleasure.

“Aaahh!” Slaine cried and froze as the alpha began to pry around the area from where the sweet sensation had bolted.

“Ahh… Your cervix… I can feel it. It is so exposed to me…” the alpha purred into the blond’s ear. “Your womb shall overflow with my seed once this day is over.”

“Drop dead, old man…” Slaine moaned and gasped with loins burning from hearing the threat, and the hand around his throat tightened somewhat to warn him of the consequences if he was to be obstinate.

He wanted it. Oh, how he wanted it even if his words said otherwise. It was unbearable to not be impregnated and made him want to ravish the alpha by force. The only thing that kept him at bay was the uncertainty of wanting to share his genes with the man since something was off with the other. It made Slaine hesitate mating with him wholeheartedly, which also stopped him from assaulting the man.

Instead, he moved his hips with more intensity simply to feel the brutal pleasure given to him, but the alpha tried to control his movement by pushing his fingers so deep into the prisoner that Slaine had no room to move. _He_ was in control of Slaine’s pleasure, he told him.

“Haahh…!”

A wet noise was heard next to his ear and Slaine shivered as a wet tongue licked his neck. He was in trance from the sensation for a moment, but then he realized the vice admiral was about to bite his nape.

As if a bucket of cold water was poured over him, Slaine woke up from the heated trance and threw his head back, hitting it against the alpha’s chin, and a loud noise filled the chamber. The man quickly released his throat and ass to pull back and groan, and Slaine turned around with his hands covering his neck.

He glared at the alpha who was bleeding from his nose, and as he saw the blood Slaine grinned in victory. Tears had sprung to the man’s eyes, which quickly turned up to look at the blond prisoner while wiping away the blood from his upper lip. The alpha was angry from being rejected so brutally, but Slaine would not give in.

“I shall never…” the omega gasped as heat began to return to his body. “… let you bite me…” The heat made him weak and nearly had him drop down on his knees, but the omega searched for whatever strength he had left to not become vulnerable like that, and yelled: “Terran scum!”

The alpha scoffed and slammed his hands against the wall on either side of Slaine’s head hard enough the wall vibrated, but the omega did not flinch and stared straight at the alpha with a strict glare, letting the man know Slaine was not going down without a fight and would hurt him if he had to.

“You think you are allowed to choose a mate?” the man said condescendingly while blood ran down his upper lip before wiping it away. “If you want to bond or not means nothing in this prison. You were given to me, which means I shall have you as mine until the day either I or you die.”

“Forget it,” Slaine hissed and began to feel strength return to his blazing body from the alpha’s threats. “Only one person is allowed to bond with me, and that person is not you. Do what you want with me, but I will not lie down without a fight and I will certainly not allow you to bite me, you filth.”

“Feisty, are we?” the alpha said amused while drying his lip and nose from the blood again as he glared at Slaine. He leaned closer once he was finished and took a hold of Slaine’s wrists and pulled at them to expose the omega’s neck, but the prisoner gripped his neck tighter and refused to let the alpha remove his hands covering the sensitive part of him. “Let me bite you.”

“No…” Slaine growled and sharpened his eyes to stare at his assigned alpha with the eyes of the tyrant he had been.

It was a stand-down. The one blinking or breaking eye contact first would lose, and both of them seemed like strong-willed beings. Neither of them allowed themselves to lose, and when time had passed without the other giving up, the vice admiral finally took a hold of him again and turned him around toward the wall.

Since Slaine did not dare letting go of his neck, he could not resist it nor did he dare to support his body with his arms against the wall; he supported himself with his forehead against the glass, hoping that would be enough.

“Fine then,” the vice admiral whispered next to his ear with amusement. Slaine frowned from the unpleasant sensation. A belt buckle rustled and a zipper opened somewhere behind him. “Let us see how long you can fight before you expose your neck willingly to me,” the man grinned. “… omega.”

With those demeaning words left ringing in Slaine’s ear, something solid and hot pushed against the omega’s opening, and, as if his body welcomed the object more than willingly, it slipped inside without resistance.

“Aahhh…” the blond prisoner moaned freely, not holding his voice back. It felt so good to finally be filled, and as the man began to move his hips – ramming into the former tyrant – the tip of the man’s hot cock hit the tip of Slaine’s cervix. Electricity coursed through the blond once again, and his own hardness began dripping with honey. “Haahh! Mmmh!”

The alpha quickly became forceful and shoved his heat into the blond with ravishing movements. At times it hurt and Slaine gritted his teeth while releasing his voice. Something small clattered against the wall in front of him, and as the mounted omega opened his eyes to look down, he saw his father’s talisman bump against the glass as it swung from the man’s violent thrusts.

The alpha had lost control of his heat and thrust into the omega with such force Slaine’s entire body rocked. It rocked violently, and Slaine had to release his neck with one hand to support his body against the wall; his neck hurt and threatened to take damage if he kept absorbing the thrusts with it.

‘ _How disgusting_ ,’ the young omega thought and gasped and moaned while their flesh pounded against each other’s. ‘ _He’s desperate to put a child in me_ … _And it feels so good!_ ’

He felt the alpha’s breath tickle against his neck; the side he had released to support himself against the wall. Slaine quickly covered his neck again with both hands and-

“AAHH!” the blond screamed when a sudden sharp pain attacked his left hand fingers. The alpha had bit him, trying to force his bite down to Slaine’s neck through the omega’s fingers. “STOP! AAGH!”

Blood slowly began to run down his hand and continued over his wrist. The alpha was biting his fingers so hard the omega began fighting back out of desperate protest. Without daring to release his hands from his neck, Slaine had difficulties of stopping the vice admiral, but he had to do something before the alpha would tear flesh away from his fingers.

With a swift movement, Slaine released his right hand from his neck and swung the elbow back behind him and hit the alpha straight in his diaphragm. The vice admiral instantly let him go to cough, giving Slaine the opportunity to turn around and swing a fist against the alpha. He hit him in the face. The blond’s hand began hurting immediately after the hit and he opened his fist instead and slammed the bottom part of his palm against the vise admiral’s nose.

The man stumbled backwards and groaned loudly while blood began gushing down his lips and chin again. The omega saw red now that he had the upper hand and attacked the surprised alpha with a brutal slap over his cheek to throw the alpha off balance.  He proceeded with reaching out his hands to grip the alpha over his throat, and clamped down as hard as he could with his slender and bleeding fingers.

“Did you think I would let you treat me like that?!” the omega growled with intensifying anger; he was losing control of his fury as his body was high on adrenalin, slowly becoming insane as his well-programmed instincts to protect himself kicked in. “You damn scum! How dare you?!”

The alpha gasped and clawed at Slaine’s hands, trying to free himself from the omega’s grip while blood gushed down his chin and throat, wetting the blond prisoner’s hands. Great pleasure coursed through the omega as he saw the shock and fear in the alpha’s eyes, and felt glad to punish the alpha for assaulting him so disgracefully.

The burning hatred toward alphas came back to him, washing over him like a tidal-wave as horrible memories began spinning in his mind. The images and feelings from his past haunted him like ghosts that had clutched themselves stuck on his brain, and the flashes of fear and hatred ticked him off enough to want to kill the alpha he had in front of him now – to let the man take the punishment for all the crimes other alphas had committed toward the prisoner.

The door into the chamber slammed open and running steps entered. The blond was too occupied with glaring down at the alpha to look up at who had entered the chamber, and was brutally grabbed by his arms and shoulders. Strong hands bent his arms away, forcing the omega to release the alpha from his deadly grip, and the blond began pulling and kicking, trying to get back to the murderous work he had been interrupted from.

He growled aggressively and fought as hard as his muscles would let him; he managed to pull his right hand free and he attempted to dash forward to put the free hand back around the alpha’s throat.

“Are you all right, sir?!” one of the guards holding Slaine asked.

What bullshit. Slaine was the one in pain. He was the one who was forced to give up his body to a stranger, and this stranger tried to demand his soul from him, too.

“Shouldn’t you be asking me that first?!” the omega yelled and tried to attack the guards instead, who finally pushed him down onto the floor. “He’s a damn rapist and abuser!”

The guards ignored him, which made Slaine’s anger worse. He took a couple of deep breaths before he had to vent out his fury with a loud scream that tore at his throat. He was so angry it was impossible to control it if he was not allowed to release it somehow. Three guards held him down; two held his legs while a third sat on top of his back and held his arms down above his head.

“He’s too wild! We have to drug him before he hurts someone else, too!” a guard yelled somewhere above the blond, who lay face down on the tiled floor. “Get the nurse!”

Suddenly, Slaine’s anger went cold at hearing the guard yell out such a sincere order. The beta was serious and Slaine froze entirely. If he was drugged, the vice admiral could do whatever he wanted with him.

“NO!” the blond yelled and tried to get up as his flight mode took control. “I don’t want that!”

“Then calm down!” the guard yelled back and all three pinned him against the floor.

A groan was heard in front of him and Slaine looked up to see the vice admiral stare back at him with a furious glare while holding a hand beneath his chin, where blood dropped into his hand. They stared at each other for a while and the blond realized he had been overtaken; he could not fight anymore.

“Hold him down,” the alpha said with an infuriated glare, and Slaine knew he had lost completely.

“No…!” the blond gasped as the alpha moved closer. “Get away from me!” he then yelled while his heat began burning again from expecting the vice admiral to mount him.

The alpha said nothing, but the guard sitting on Slaine’s back and holding his arms down said quietly to the omega:

“Stop this. Just do what he wants and no one gets hurt.”

Slaine felt chaotic from hearing the responsibility be put on him once again; he had to make sure everyone came out all right from all this insanity by behaving according to their expectations.

‘ _Fuck that!_ ’

Again, anger flared up from hearing something demeaning like that, but he could not fight back no matter how hard he tried. The guard sitting on his back moved to give room for the alpha and pushed Slaine’s hands against the cold floor with enough strength Slaine cried out with pain. The guards held him down to keep him still when the alpha mounted him again – pushed into his flesh so hard Slaine released yet another painful cry. The situation was disgusting and humiliating, painful and horrifying.

‘ _Just like on board Castle Cruhteo_ …’ the blond thought and gritted his teeth while the alpha’s cock began moving inside him.

“I will leave your neck alone,” the vice admiral groaned with a nauseatingly pleased sigh while thrusting. “I will tear that pride of yours down, and will make you willingly present your neck to me. Just you wait…”

‘ _Never! Never, never, never!_ ’ Slaine desperately thought and tried to hold his tears back to not cry in front of his assaulter and give him the pleasure of seeing how much he hurt the blond. ‘ _Damn you!_ ’

αβΩ

Steps clattered against the cold floor and the room was emptied of all souls but one. Everyone was silent. No one dared to utter a word, as if something highly unpleasant had happened in there. A lonely figure – naked and weak – was all that remained slumped on the floor. The figure did not move, nor did it make any sound. The butterfly simply breathed as it had no other choice and stared out into empty space and nothing more.

‘ _It hurts…_ ’ Slaine thought where he lay on the floor, shocked from what had happened.

His body had been hurt; he had ugly bruises here and there on his pale skin, and he was bleeding from small cuts and scraped up skin – mainly on his fingers where the alpha had been biting him a little while ago. It was not the wounds that made him lay limply on the floor, though. He had been through something emotionally draining, which left him exhausted enough he could not even bother moving a finger.

‘ _I can’t move…_ ’

The vice admiral had been merciless and brutal – even to the point that the guards, who had held Slaine down while the alpha had mounted him, had looked away and not dared to say a word. The vice admiral had been so rough from the aggression brought forth by the omega’s pheromones that the omega’s back hurt, and so did his neck and chin.

The alpha had pulled at his hair far harder than Slaine would have accepted and had forced the blond to crane his neck to the point where the neck vertebrae felt like they were being crushed against each other. He had done this solely to have everyone see Slaine’s expression and hear his pathetic cries while the alpha thrust into him violently enough the omega had begun to bleed. When Slaine had thrown curses and insults at him, the alpha had slammed his head against the floor, silencing him by knocking the senses out of him.

It had worked; Slaine now felt humiliated and shocked enough that he had shut down his physical communication. It was only his mind that sluggishly spun in secret, mulling over his existence and wondered what he was still doing here – why he was still alive.

‘ _Just like on Castle Cruhteo…_ ’

He felt estranged from his body; it felt like a stranger’s; it did not feel like his own. It was uncomfortably surreal how he still resided in the cursed flesh that had been ravished without kindness – the flesh that was the cause of all of his pain; the flesh that betrayed him.

Usually, if something he owned broke or lost its meaning, he would replace it or toss it away. Doing that with the raped flesh that made up his physical being was impossible, and it made the surreal feeling grow even more. The body felt broken somehow, and he could not replace it. It felt defiled and as if it had lost its purpose – stolen by someone else – and he could not toss it away.

Then what would he do with it?

Steps entered the glass jar; they echoed in the silence that was deathly quiet, disturbing the weak butterfly. The sharp sound stabbed Slaine’s eardrums, but he could not bother looking up at whoever had entered the chamber to have a look at the results of what had been going on in the room. A pleasant scent peaked his interest, though, as it made a strange warm feeling wake up inside his otherwise numb heart.

“Troyard,” he heard a careful voice say that Slaine immediately recognized as Orange’s. When Slaine did not react to it, he heard his name being called again and was asked to answer with how he felt. The blond did not know since he felt empty, so it was impossible to answer the question thrown at him. “We have to take a look at those wounds of yours. Is it all right if we touch you?”

Slaine did not answer that either. He simply lay on the floor and heard Orange order the nurse to prepare whatever he needed to clean and patch up the omega’s wounds. Then the young man squatted down next to Slaine and looked at him with a studying glance before reaching out a hand toward Slaine’s face to brush his bangs away from his eyes. Slaine flinched and closed his eyes, making the brunet hesitate to touch him for a short while. When the blond did no more resistance, Orange finally brushed his bangs away and rested a warm and light hand on Slaine’s forehead.

“He didn’t bite you, did he?” the brunet asked quietly, like a whisper that no one was supposed to hear. Slaine shook his head slightly. “Good,” he heard the other say.

The blond felt confused why he still not being bonded to an alpha would be a good thing. Was Orange worried about the omega being bonded with the vice admiral? Now that Slaine thought about it, Orange had given him warning glances and had spoken to the vice admiral in a way that had made the alpha territorial about the omega he had been promised.

Slaine gathered strength enough to turn his head to look at the brown-haired young alpha, who wore a mask over his mouth and nose. He looked at him through his half-open eyelids, and said with a quiet and broken voice:

“Why…?”

Orange looked discreetly around to make sure no one was listening, and as he determined it was safe enough to speak, he turned his burgundy eye toward Slaine again and said with a whisper:

“Bond with me instead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (@______@)


	4. The Firecracker

What … had he heard the brunet say?

The young alpha’s words rung in his mind like echoes in an empty cave, bouncing around in his skull.

It was an outrageous thing to say, Slaine thought. Why would he bond with his enemy? Was the brown-haired young man so desperate to get the omega instead? It was nothing but a cruel joke to the blond, who was used to hearing requests like that. Slaine had been given to someone else anyway, who was of a higher rank than Orange. Did Orange not understand that he would be trespassing onto another alpha’s business by trying to claim Slaine as his?

“I’m not yours…” Slaine said quietly and turned his face away and tried to move his bloodied hands that rested on the floor. They hurt and made the exhausted omega hiss from pain and he breathed slowly and carefully to suffocate the urge to groan. “Why would I bond with you?” he then asked as the pain had subsided.

“Because I will treat you better,” the brunet answered. “I will not force you into anything. I only ask for two children from you.”

“You think I would bond with you and give you children?” Slaine asked without looking at the brunet. He scoffed with a wry smile. “How many times do you think an alpha has given me empty promises like that?”

“If I could, I would abstain from asking children from you, but my superiors-“ Orange continued, but Slaine chuckled quietly – sounding more downhearted than intended – and interrupted him weakly:

“Never… Are you that attracted to me, worthless virgin alpha?”

“Troyard-“ Orange began with emphasis to the blond young man’s name to let him know how sincere he was, but Slaine interrupted him with a demand:

“Leave me alone. I’m too much maintenance for someone inexperienced like you.” Then he sighed and grinned weakly and turned his head back to look at the brunet. “I mean, look at what my alpha had to do to tame me this time.”

There it was again; the lament hidden in the burgundy eye looking back at him. Slaine went silent from seeing it, not understanding why the other looked at him like that. It was a look of pity; no alpha had looked at him like that before, except Asseylum. Why would Orange give him a similar look?

The steps from the approaching nurse were heard and the young alpha said with slight urgency in his voice:

“Please, Troyard. Consider it.”

The moment the nurse stepped into the chamber and walked up to the wounded omega, Orange stepped out of the chamber to let the nurse do his job and clean Slaine’s wounds.

“Can you stand?” the nurse asked the blond, and Slaine answered his question by shaking his head. “Then I will treat your wounds here.”

Slaine was turned around and got the ripped off hospital gown over him before the man began silently working with the omega’s wounded fingers. The hands that treated him were slightly gentler than Slaine remembered, probably because the nurse was shocked of what the alpha had done to him. In the meantime, the guards showed up with carrying Slaine’s bed into the glass chamber. It baffled the blond that they dared to carry the entire bed inside the chamber; it had a metal frame to it and the walls were made of glass. Armored glass to be precise, but it was still glass nonetheless.

‘ _Are the walls that thick?_ ’ the blond wondered while he stared at the guards as they installed the bed in a corner. At times he hissed due to the pain caused by the nurse, who was putting bandages around the young omega’s fingers. ‘ _The wall didn’t break when I threw the table against it. It must be robust._ ’

“You shouldn’t fight him,” he heard the nurse suddenly say, and Slaine turned his eyes toward the man who was busy putting a small Band-Aid on his little finger. “You know why you got these wounds, right?” the nurse continued. “Stop fighting him and you won’t get hurt like this.”

The blame the nurse put on the omega was unfair and all too familiar. It was painful as well. Hearing that the wounds someone else had put on him was his own fault took all of the omega’s strength away from him, and he could not even word a reply. How could people even think so cruelly? Why should the victim – who refused to give up their pride, integrity and autonomy – be blamed like that?

‘ _It’s because I’m an omega…_ ’

The omega population was taught to never speak up. They were taught to always put the alpha first and put themselves last, and they should never ask for too much. They knew they were not perfect, but they were taught to try anyway, and it always hurt but they were simply told to bear it.

Slaine could only stare at the nurse while a thick feeling spread in his chest and weigh him down. The inner corners of his eyes grew hot – as if tears tried to push up the tear canals – and he quickly turned his face away from the nurse and guards, biting his lip to try keeping himself from crying.

The situation was overwhelming and impossible. Once again, he was blamed for the consequences. Back on Castle Cruhteo, he had at least had the chance to run away and had sometimes succeeded in hiding in his room. Even if he had been raped countless of times on board that landing castle, he had still been protected from getting forcefully bonded with and be impregnated.

Now, however, he had no choice. No matter what he did, he would be pushed down and be impregnated like a breeding animal in a cage; he had nowhere to run and no means to protect his neck or womb. He could only choose between the vice admiral and Orange; what kind of fairness was that?; he hated both of them equally bad.

‘ _My life is entirely under their control_ ,’ he thought and frowned as the pain – caused by heavy emotions – increased in his chest. He put his hand onto his abdomen, right above his womb, and felt the stickiness between his legs. ‘ _Did he manage?_ ’ he wondered and felt the fear of having a child take over him. A whimper was about to escape him, but he forced it back by straining his breaths. ‘ _Don’t cry! Not yet!_ ’

When the nurse was finished and the guards had tidied away the mess Slaine and the alpha had made in the chamber, the omega was left alone. The guards placed themselves outside the chamber, one on either side of the glass jar to guard the butterfly, and the fifth next to the door further away which Orange usually disappeared through after visiting the prisoner.

With a heavy body, he pushed himself up from the floor and quickly caught the blue hospital gown that nearly fell off him. He wished he had something more to shield himself with – especially since the guards had free sight into the chamber. Carefully, he got up and staggered for a moment before finding his balance, and then slowly walked over to the bed and collapsed on top of it. There, he curled up beneath the blanket – pulling it all the way up over his head – and fell into a quiet cry.

αβΩ

When he woke from a restless slumber, an uncomfortable feeling of illness came over him immediately. His glands felt swollen and his skin prickled even beneath the blanket he was hiding under. All of the energy he had had before was gone and, now, only a withdrawn creature occupied the chamber with skin crawling the moment he remembered what had happened.

The sensation of the guards' hands squeezing his wrists and ankles still hurt; it had not surprised him if they had left ugly bruises on him. Even his neck hurt after the alpha had mercilessly pulled his on hair, and the bruises and wounds were still sore.

' _How long have I been sleeping?_ ' he wondered and sighed. ' _It doesn't really matter, does it?_ '

Even if he got to hear the time and date, it would not mean a thing to him. There was nothing scheduled to give him a sense of time since all he was, was a prisoner without rights with days floating together into a grey mess.

' _I want to shower..._ ' he thought and felt the disgusting body of his assaulter still defile and violate him even if the alpha was not there.

Slowly and carefully, with an aching body, Slaine got up from the bed and pulled the blanket around him to slowly walk over to the door where the speaker was located. Only guards were present; Orange and the alpha must have gone home, and the guards who had helped the vice admiral to rape Slaine were gone as well – replaced by the night shift guards.

The blond weakly knocked on the glass and watched the guard standing on the other side of the wall. The beta looked up at him and they shared eye contact for a brief moment before Slaine had to lower his eyes to hide from the detesting glare staring back at him. The blond was not confident enough to look at the man straight on with a piercing glare like before. He had to be allowed to collect himself a little before he could begin flaring with anger to protect himself and his identity once again.

' _I can't let them break me this easily_ ,' he thought and frowned while he waited for the beta to walk up to the speaker and push the button to hear what was on Slaine's mind. It was like he was silenced and censored until someone showed him enough kindness to listen to him speak; if no one bothered to push in that call-button Slaine’s voice would not be heard by anyone. ' _I have to keep fighting…_ ' he determined.

“What is it?” the guard's voice said in the speaker.

“I…” Slaine said and took a deep breath before he raised his eyes to look at the man. “I would like to shower.”

To his dismay, he watched the beta shake his head.

“We are not allowed to let you out of there, nor are we allowed to open the door if not necessary until the day shift personnel arrive,” the guard said, and Slaine's eyes widened with disbelief.

He pulled the blanket closer around him and then frowned.

“Then, I would like to go to the bathroom,” he then said.

“No can do,” the guard answered again, and Slaine nearly dropped the blanket around him.

“What?!” he exclaimed and leaned against the door with a hand against the glass while he stared at the guard with utter shock. “I'm not even allowed to go to the bathroom? What is this ridiculousness?!”

The guard nodded toward something in the corner of the glass jar, and the distressed butterfly turned to look toward what the guard was giving attention to. It was a bucket that had been placed there, probably when the chamber had been furnished with the bed.

With shock, Slaine turned to look at the guard again and stared at him with his breath trembling. His heart hurt. How could they treat him this badly? Why was he a victim of abuse like this, and by the UE themselves?; the organization that promised to give every living creature – even a war criminal – human rights.

' _What hypocrites!_ ' Slaine thought and refrained from shaking his head as he could not believe what they were doing to him. ' _Everyone but I have human rights. How is that fair?_ '

Then, anger flared up in him.

“Do your superiors expect me to execute my needs in this kind of disgraceful way?!” he barked to the guard. “This is outrageous!”

“Not everyone has a clean toilet in this world. Why would a traitor like you – who killed plenty of your own people here on Earth – deserve such luxury?” the guard asked, and Slaine's anger became too great for him to handle. He slammed his hands against the door and glared at the guard, who said: “This was your alpha's order.”

Slaine felt his body grow cold, and at first he thought it was because the face of his assaulter popped up into his mind. Then he realized he had dropped the blanket onto the floor as he had let go of it, allowing the cold air brush his skin.

As he stood there – stark naked, displaying his beauty like the butterfly he was supposed to be in front of the guards surrounding the glass jar – his breaths became deeper and faster from fury.

The vice admiral would try to break him by neglecting him. How disgusting. How disgraceful. How primitive and barbaric…

' _Not even Cruhteo did this to me_ ,' Slaine thought and understood he had no choice but to find himself in the situation made for him – for now.

Instead, the butterfly reached for the blanket to pick it up from the floor and then pulled it around himself to hide his striking wings, and walked back to the bed. He curled up there and waited for breakfast while the fury still burned inside him, hot enough his chest felt as if it had been set on fire.

' _Just you wait..._ ' he dangerously thought. ' _Once breakfast is over, I will give all of you plenty to worry about_.'

αβΩ

Once morning came and the breakfast tray was put on the table in the chamber, Slaine reluctantly got up to pick the tray up and carry it to his bed. There he hid beneath the blanket in the top corner of the bed, hiding the metal frame beneath the blanket, and carefully began unscrewing a screw from the frame behind the headboard with the plastic knife he was given to eat his breakfast with. He did it slowly and patiently – forced the screw up while trying not to break the plastic tool, until it was loose enough he could continue screwing it with his finger nails once he got the chance.

To not give the guards any reason to suspect what was going on, Slaine forced the sandwich down together with coffee, and then put the tray back on the table. The guards eyed him suspiciously as the butterfly fluttered across the jar, and, once he was back in his bed, one of the betas dared to step into the interrogation chamber to take the tray out. Slaine stayed unmoving in bed, hidden beneath the blanket and carefully continued unscrewing the screw that partially held the left top corner of the bed together.

As the screw was loose, he hesitated. Did he truly dare to do this? What kind of repercussions would there be if he dared to be a firecracker in a glass jar? Would they beat him? Would they have him raped? Would they force him into something else sickening and neglecting?

‘ _What difference would that do?_ ’ he thought.

A quiet chuckle escaped his throat and he smiled sorrowfully. Why would any of their punishments matter? He had already been through a lot in his short life – a little more would not make a difference. They had already robbed him of his freedom, his rights as a prisoner of war, the clothes on his back and even his body; everything had literally been taken away from him except his beating heart and talisman.

Would he dare to claim his life had been taken away as well? No matter how much he breathed and listened to his heart beat, he could not feel that their functioning state compensated for the lack of everything else. He felt like his life had been stolen away as well; he breathed this air of confinement – never being allowed to breathe fresh air again – and his heart was beating for no one in particular, not even himself. It was just an automated function that did not care why the body was still alive, and if his body belonged to someone as a commodity, so did his life.

What reason was there to breathe if he had nothing to breathe for? It was a question he had asked himself many times in this prison, and he had come to the conclusion that if he was not allowed to make the decision to end his life, then his life did not belong to him; it belonged to those who wanted to keep him alive.

All that he had left was his father’s talisman, and the only thing he had to cover his body with was the hospital gown lying on the floor; the piece of clothing the alpha had ripped off him. The omega had refused to pick it up and wear it; he would rather stay naked and hide behind a blanket than wear the blue gown, because the blue gown was heavy with the symbolism of oppression, and that – the blond thought – he could live without. It was probably in shred anyway.

‘ _Why would anything of what they do matter? The worst they can do is to impregnate me, and they are already trying. All I have left is my soul, but they want that as well…_ ’

The soul… Once he was marked and once he accepted the bond, his soul would cease to be his as well. That was the only thing he had left to fight for, and he would fight for it for as long as he could.

He gritted his teeth as fury began to light up inside him and made sure the screw was still stuck in the threads, enough for it to withstand an impact. Then, Slaine took a deep breath of determination and got up from the bed with the blanket tightly around him, and – before the guards had time to react to what he was doing – the blond omega released the brakes to the wheels on the bed. Quickly, he continued with taking a hold of the frame on the foot end of the bed, and then turned it around toward the chamber wall in the same direction as the door through which Orange would disappear once he was done visiting the prisoner.

The guards outside began reacting. One was knocking on the chamber wall to his left and another was walking over to the speaker on the door – probably to ask what Slaine was doing. The blond ignored them and he set course toward the wall he was aiming at, pushing the bed up to the fastest speed possible, and rammed it against the glass wall.

It crackled at where the loose screw met the glass, hitting the wall like an emergency safety hammer; and the omega quickly pulled the bed all the way back and repeated the attack. Since the wall was already cracked, he hoped the force of the bed’s moving mass would be enough to break it.

The second time the bed hit the glass it crackled some more. The third time a small piece of it flew away, and – with the fourth impact – a gaping hole was produced and the bed rolled out of the chamber. It crashed against the floor with a loud clatter while the guards hurried out of the way, and the omega followed the bed out of the chamber – running – cutting his bare feet on the glass that lay on the floor.

Without caring about the pain beneath his feet, he rushed toward the door leading out of the prison. He knew it would be useless; he would meet yet another door, and a third and probably a fourth if he ever got that far, but – most likely – he would be caught the moment he reached the first door in front of him.

At least he gave the guards in the prison something to do, and his alpha would learn about his rebelling nature, understanding how aggressive the omega could be. Slaine wanted to prove he was not the average omega who obeyed society’s sick norms and did not want to play the socially constructed role others expected him to have. He was Slaine Saazbaum Troyard no matter how much they tried to take his identity away from him, and he would prove he had not forgotten his dangerous nature.

“STOP!” a guard yelled behind him as steps quickly followed him.

The alarm went off in the prison. A red light flickered above the door Slaine was running toward, and steps were heard from the other side of it as well; more guards were waiting outside. As he saw the door open, he continued running toward the guards while knowing it would lead to nothing else but being captured.

With a violent push, he forced one of the guards out of his way, but then the second guard he met grabbed him by his waist and wrestled him to the floor.

The blanket fluttered off him from the violent struggle and Slaine was quickly and skillfully pinned against the floor. The blond kept fighting, exerting his body to its limits, but the guards pushed him down with such force it felt as if he was back in yesterday’s moment of assisted rape.

A loud and angry scream erupted from his throat from the frustration of being handled like this, making him sound like a growling animal. The forceful touch was the only kind of touch he had gotten in this prison, ever since his first day of confinement, and each time he felt it he answered with frustration. Oh, how sick and tired he was of it. He hated it so much his body reacted with aggression before his mind did.

“Calm down!” a guard yelled and tried to drown out Slaine’s angered scream.

Tears of pure anger and hatred sprung to the blond’s eyes as he glared at the guard ordering him to be obedient, and he tried to pull his limbs free and throw himself at the guard instead. The omega was so angry that it burned him severely, threatening to burn him into ash if he did not vent it out on someone.

Now that he got the chance to express how much he disapproved of the treatment of him as an omega, he was completely overcome by the impulse to hate and harm everyone he laid his eyes on.

“Sedate him,” another said and called for the nurse. “He’s too violent like this.”

“NO!” the blond growled with a screaming voice. “YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS! YOUR FILTHY TREATMENT IS WHAT MADE ME THIS WAY! TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY!”

None of them answered him. None of them even cared to apologize for what they had done to him all this time he had spent in the prison. The neglect. The stealing of his name and identity. The harsh grips and pinches. The bruises and now rape…

‘ _Someone…! At least show some regret for what you have done to me!_ ’

Perhaps he should not complain; he had killed enough people there was no point in even trying to calculate the victims of his insanity. Even if he thought like that, and even if he wanted to undo all the senseless murders, he still wished for someone to treat him like a human – not like a breeding animal because he was an omega, and not like a ghost when being a simple prisoner like before his heat.

‘ _It hurts!_ ’ he thought and saw the nurse come running into the room. ‘ _You’re tormenting me and it hurts!_ ’

The flow of tears increased despite his desperate attempt of holding them back. Their source had turned from anger to grief, and there was no way he would be able to stop crying now.

The nurse prepared a syringe with a clear liquid and asked the guards to turn Slaine around with his back exposed to him. The blond stopped struggling the moment he was held down in a similar position than during the previous day’s violation, hoping they would change their mind of sedating him. Instead a sting spread from his right buttock and something cold lingered beneath the skin for a short moment. Then, his mind became fuzzy, his muscles began relaxing, and – soon – his thoughts stilled and his breaths calmed down.

“We need to move him to the cell. Let the warden know so that he can take precautions against the pheromones once the prisoner goes into heat again,” a guard said somewhere above him, and Slaine was raised from the floor.

He hung limply in their grip as he had no strength to move a muscle, and he was dragged all the way to his old cell. A thin mattress was put on the floor where they then placed him; he would not get his old bed back until it had been cleaned of all the glass shards – if they dared to give it back at all. A blanket was lowered over him, and then he was left in there – alone and disoriented by the drug until he fell asleep and dreamt a horribly vivid dream – a memory from his past.

αβΩ

_“You damn child…” Cruhteo’s angry voice sighed. “Why did you keep it from me that you were an omega?”_

_The young Slaine trembled while cowering in a hidden pathway, trying to hide after he had been hit by his first heat. His arms were tightly holding his knees as he had curled up into a pathetic ball while his loins were burning – not understanding what was going on._

_“I- I did not know it m-mattered, my lord,” he stammered with a raspy gasp so hot he thought he would lose his mind._

_It was true; Slaine had not been taught by his father that it would matter what reproductive system he had. He had no idea what an omega was either; he just knew he was one._

_Cruhteo sighed again and pulled his fingers through his golden hair to keep calm, and then ordered the young omega out of his hiding place and showed Slaine to the count’s room. He stood trembling and gasping from the strange heat next to the door and looked as his master rummaged around in a forgotten cupboard. When Cruhteo walked back to the young omega, a black leather choker with a bell was strapped around his neck with a lock keeping it secured; making it impossible for anyone to remove without a key. The fourteen year-old Slaine watched the count throw the key away into a trash bin before the man slowly walked closer to him again while saying:_

_“You shall wear that collar for as long as you are alive and on board my landing castle. It will protect you from an unwanted bond since I do not approve of you belonging to one of my subordinates on board.”_

_Slaine backed away from him the moment he saw a dark flare in the blue eyes staring at him and bumped against the door. It was much harsher than Slaine had seen before, which had made the boy hesitatingly step back from his lord. He knew he should stand still and not disobey by backing away from him, but it was impossible when he saw the black flames in the count’s eyes._

_“S-sir?” he stammered while holding his arms around his waist and pushing his back up against the door. The pit of his stomach was burning and tingling with a strange sensation he had not felt before._

_“You shall be put on contraceptives now that your duty has changed; Martian and Terran blood should never mix since the result is nothing but an abomination,” the count continued with an amused but dark tone to his voice as he reached behind Slaine and locked the door. “Your duty from here on is to keep your comrades happy, Slaine.”_

_Slaine did not entirely understand what the count meant. What was going on even? He had gotten a choker locked around his neck that was said to protect him from bonding with someone, and he was to eat contraceptives to not produce a child. Was an omega to be treated like this, the child wondered? What was he supposed to do to make Cruhteo’s crew happy? What was the count going to do with him?_

_“I…” the boy mumbled and stared his lord. “I am not entirely sure what you mean, my lord.”_

_Cruhteo got a mocking sneer onto his lips and then reached out to take a hold of Slaine’s shoulder, slowly forcing him down onto the floor._

_“Let me show you…” the man purred, and, that evening, Slaine was forced to feel the first touch of an alpha._

αβΩ

“Preposterous!”

Slaine woke up from a sudden voice yelling in the corridor outside. He was briefly disoriented by the scenery as he recognized it was a different place than the interrogation chamber where he had been recently kept, but quickly remembered what he had done to be put back in his old cell. His mind was hazy as well and his body still felt heavy from the drugs he had been injected with.

Tears wetted his eyelashes and he understood the unpleasant dream had been the cause. He had travelled back in time to his first moment as a newly awakened omega, and that trip had caused the tears that he now dried with the corner of the blanket covering him.

Steps stomped closer in the corridor and the angry male voice continued:

“What made you think sedating him was a good idea?! He is supposed to give me a child during this heat period, and you are pumping him with drugs?!”

It was the alpha; the vice admiral.

“I am very sorry, Sir Häkkinen, but he was too violent for us to handle him yesterd-“

‘ _Häkkinen…_ ’ Slaine thought and ransacked his dizzy mind for that name while the alpha yelled something to interrupt whoever he was speaking to.

Finally he had a name to his assaulter, and he was sure he had heard it somewhere before. Could it be the one who had been in charge of the operation that had distracted Slaine enough to lose control of the entire situation that had led to his demise? Was Häkkinen responsible for Slaine eventually losing the war? If Slaine could remember it right, Häkkinen’s soldiers had stormed the moon base in search for the princess to assassinate her and kill her captor.

‘ _What irony…_ ’ the blond thought. Had it not been for Orange and Klancain – the latter being Asseylum’s mate – Slaine would have been able to turn the vice admiral’s attack into nothing more than a dent on his armor. ‘ _First I fought him, and now I have to serve him…_ ’

“You managed to hold him down without trouble yesterday. What makes you think you had the authorization to give him drugs when he is in heat?!” Häkkinen continued.

Yesterday…? In other words, Slaine had been out cold for no longer than a couple of hours ever since his attempt to a useless escape had failed.

Whoever Häkkinen was yelling at was rendered silent after he apologized sincerely and promised to never give the omega drugs again without consulting with a doctor first. Then, the cell door was unlocked and the alpha stepped into the cell. Slaine’s body – despite its weakness – answered with heat.

“Get up, omega,” he ordered, but Slaine disobeyed and lay still beneath the blanket.

Instead, the alpha pulled the blanket off him and leaned down to take a hold of Slaine’s wrist and turned him onto his back. Slaine groaned from pain as his wrists had become raw from the harsh treatment by the guards, and – as he fell onto his back and looked up at the alpha – he saw the man wear a troubled look on his expression.

“What…?” Slaine asked with a broken and slurred voice and forced a mischievous smile onto his bruised lips. “No fun raping me when I’m drugged like this?”

“You sure like to run your mouth, mare,” Häkkinen said with distaste.

“And I bet you would like me to run it down your pathetic excuse for a cock,” the omega chuckled but felt his mind swirl with dizziness for a moment; the medication was still strong.

The alpha squatted down in front of the omega and took a ruthless grip of Slaine’s jaw with a strong hand, turning the prisoner’s face toward him and smiled a satisfied grin before saying:

“You were the one to beg and moan for me to mount you yesterday, remember?” the vice admiral said. He then gently played with his fingertips against Slaine’s stomach and placed a warm palm over where the omega’s womb was hidden. “Do you think I managed to put a baby in you yesterday, or shall I succeed with it today?”

‘ _That’s not how it works, you idiot_ ,’ the blond sighed silently, before he scoffed and slapped the alpha’s hand away from him.

“Whatever child you put in me, it will be nothing but an abomination; your pheromones reek of weak genes,” the omega hissed, and – before he knew it – a slap made his cheek sting and his head was thrown to the side from the impact.

“Feisty still, I see,” the alpha murmured and forcefully turned the limp omega around and pushed his shoulders down against the thin mattress. Slaine groaned from the heaviness put onto his back. “For how long do I have to put up with this before you are tamed?”

“For as long as I have the strength to make your joyride of fucking me less joyful,” the blond answered and raised his bandaged hands to cover his neck from the alpha’s bite. The moment the vice admiral pushed his groin against Slaine’s behind the heat began to wake up as a storm of hormones began to blow in his body. “Mmh…”

“Already moaning, are we?” Häkkinen asked and let his hands run down Slaine’s back, and the omega unintentionally arched his back and raised his ass slightly, like he was presenting it for the man and asking him to use it. “Just a little touch and you present your needy hole for me. How disgraceful of you, _Lord Saazbaum Troyard_.”

The voice was so mocking and filled with scorn that it burned in his heart. Slaine was about to turn around and give the vice admiral a piece of his mind when a strong hand – placed between his shoulder blades – forced him down against the mattress and a finger pushed into him.

“Ahh!”

He could not keep his voice silent; the surprised sensation of the foreign object moving in his body made it impossible to control. The blond tried to grit his teeth, but, when a second finger pushed into him and began rubbing his inner walls, Slaine’s lips opened and a lusty moan spilled out from between them.

“So obedient…” the alpha whispered with a satisfied purr and pushed his fingers against the sweet spot he had found yesterday that made shocks of electricity flow through the omega’s spine.

This sweet spot was somewhere around his cervix; it was so sensitive and screamed with joy each time it was stimulated that the omega’s body grew weak from sexual need.

“Haahhh! Mmmh…!” the blond moaned and felt his heat harden between his legs. He was so ready for the alpha it was ridiculous. “AHH!”

The alpha had leaned forward and licked the skin of Slaine’s neck that was exposed between his fingers. The sensation was thrilling and horrifying at the same time, since Slaine remembered back to the brutal biting from yesterday. If the vice admiral wanted to, he could easily push Slaine’s hands away and mark him due to the blond’s drugged state, and he silently wished the alpha would honor his promise of leaving Slaine’s neck alone until the omega presented it to him willingly.

“You are so wet down here… Are you ready to expose your neck to me yet, omega?” Häkkinen purred into Slaine’s ear and gave his earlobe a lick.

“Hng…! N-no!” the omega shouted and tightened his grip around his neck to protect it. “I will never … aahhh … e-expose it to you!”

The alpha scoffed and raised his body up to open his trousers, and Slaine listened with his hearing fixed on the sound of a belt buckle rustling and a zipper opening. Even the sound made a pleasant shiver run down his spine despite the sickly sensation Slaine had learned to get each time he heard the sound, and the pit of his stomach tingled horribly as he wanted the man to put his hot meat inside him.

“Then, I will come back tomorrow as well, and the day after that, and the day after that. A week should be enough time to make you pregnant and give up this petty fight of yours,” he said with a smiling voice, and Slaine felt the tip of something warm and hard push against his behind. It left a wet trail where it touched him and the omega shivered with anticipation. Even his breaths shook. “I will ask you each time, and I shall patiently wait for you to expose your slender neck. One day…” The vice admiral pulled his fingers out and immediately rammed his cock into the omega, who released a surprised yelp. “… you shall be mine willingly.”

The alpha pushed his cock all the way inside the omega, pushing his tip against Slaine’s cervix. The prisoner’s mind spun with agonizing pleasure and horrible disgust. Again, he was forced to play with fire. There was nothing to protect him from being impregnated, and while he hated it, he wanted it as well. It was so sick how his mind never could decide what it wanted, as if his heat made him lose his mind and split his personality in two.

He was sure that if he got the chance to choose an alpha as his own, he would gladly give them children and raise a large family no matter how hard it would be on him. He would put up with the difficulties and complain about them just a little. He would – together with his alpha – make it work somehow and give their children the best life he could, and probably also fail as a mother and unintentionally make the children cry at times – but that was the way of life, right? That kind of honest and unperfected life was something he had dreamt of ever since he learned he was an omega and Asseylum was an alpha.

Now, however, he was not allowed to choose, which caused the confusing mind-split to begin with.

‘ _He will take my children away from me the moment they are born_ ,’ he thought and felt tears begin to spill from the corners of his eyes. ‘ _I will never be a mother like this. I will never-_ ‘

“AGHH!”

Teeth pushed down into the flesh on his shoulder and woke him up from the melancholy thoughts. The alpha had bit him on his shoulder, so close to the spot where the initial stage to a bond would be formed that Slaine’s mind began spinning with the maddening thrill of playing with fire.

An impulse told him to move his hand away just a little – that was all it took to give the alpha mounting him the opportunity to mark him. Despite that thrilling impulse was making him somewhat loosen his tight grip on his neck, Slaine pushed the alpha away by stabbing his assaulter with a sharp elbow. A harsh slap followed.

His moans became louder and his loins burned hotter as the vice admiral raised his body up onto his arms and began ramming his meat into the blond. The violent tingle in the pit of his stomach exploded and he was entirely consumed by the heat and let his voice free. The only thing he managed to still have control over was his hands protecting his neck.

Besides that, he was nothing but an animal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (@________________________________@)


	5. The Fated Mate

“You really are causing trouble,” Orange said as he sat on a chair on the other side of the bars to Slaine’s cell.

He wore a mask over his face to protect him from Slaine’s raging pheromones. All alphas who set foot in the building were forced to wear one, since apparently Slaine’s pheromones were floating in each room of the building by now. The warden had already fallen into a mating frenzy and had been forced to go home today to calm his heat.

“It’s not that I blame you, but you’re in the fifth day of your heat period and you have already managed to break the interrogation chamber and caused a serious water damage in the shower room, smashed the sink into pieces in the toilet and wrecked your furniture so that we were forced to remove everything from the cell. You’re quite costly when in heat.”

Slaine sat in a corner of his empty cell – curled up naked in a new blanket he had gotten when Orange had come to visit him – and watched the brunet raise one of the papers on the clipboard he had brought with him. The blond omega probably looked like a cornered cat where he huddled with the blanket.

Only the thin mattress lay on the floor on which Slaine sat curled up; it had been the only thing he had not bothered to destroy during his rage fits – mostly since he needed something soft to sleep on. Even the ceiling light had been wrecked when he had thrown a metal pipe from the bed frame against it after dismantling the bed the personnel had allowed him to have the other day. It had survived only one day before Slaine had taken it to pieces, leaving only the thin mattress to protect him from the cold floor.

“And?” Slaine spat angrily. “I worked hard to fill up those papers of yours. Am I not getting any praise?” the blond hissed.Slaine felt greatly agitated, since Vice Admiral Häkkinen had been visiting him a moment earlier and mounted him for- Heck, Slaine had lost count of how many times he had been forced down by now after being revisited by the old man a couple of times a day the past two days. Even that had began to grow boring in a way; Slaine knew what to expect from the alpha.

Apparently, he had gotten a taste for Slaine’s body and probably stayed somewhere in the prison’s personnel quarters throughout the days, doing his work as a vice admiral when he was not busy with fulfilling his duty to society by increasing its population with his offspring, preparing for a future once the older generation died.

“I must say I am impressed,” Orange continued with that ever so emotionless voice without looking up at the omega. “Not only have you done tremendous material damage, but also wounded the vice admiral and the guards several times. Two of the guards needed stitches.”

Slaine chuckled scornfully.

“They deserve it,” he said with the melody of a snake. “Eye for an eye, wasn’t it?” he then asked and got up from where he had been sitting to walk toward the cell bars with the blanket around him. “The same should apply for muscle and bone, don’t you think?” he murmured seductively when he reached the bars and stared at the brunet. “If they get to abuse me, then I get to abuse them as well.” He tilted his head and smiled innocently – the smile being an act, of course: “It’s only fair.”

Orange looked up at him and Slaine felt his loins begin heating up as he saw the look in the brunet’s eye. It was a shame the other was covered with an eye patch, since the omega would have loved to be thoroughly studied by the young alphas both eyes; he wanted the other to want him so he could abuse him as well. The blond did feel strangely guilty for having destroyed the brunet’s left eye a couple of years ago, since the young alpha only had one eye to observe the omega with.

Orange wanted him; he clearly felt the smell of Slaine’s pheromones and liked what he saw, and was obviously teased by the skin hinted beneath the blanket each time Slaine moved. The omega’s hunch was proven to be accurate when Orange corrected the mask he wore over his mouth and nose and looked down at the papers again, clearly not knowing what else to look at.

“If you keep this up, our employees will begin filing lawsuits and cost the organization a lot of insurance money for getting wounded during working hours,” the brunet said instead to distract his mind from wanting the omega.

“Good,” the blond purred and narrowed his eyes. “I’ll try to crank up the amount of money they’ll ask for a little more, by hitting them harder next time.”

Orange did not answer anything to that but looked up at the blond for a short while. His expression became a little more studying as he stared at the omega, who bore his eyes into the other by glaring back at him.

“He didn’t bite you this time either?” he then asked silently with a mere whisper.

Slaine suddenly felt himself tense up as he heard the brunet’s question for the sixth time; Orange had asked that each time he had come to visit the blond after the vice admiral had mounted him, and he had come to visit him quite often – as if checking if Slaine was still unmarked.

“No,” the blond answered and felt his shoulders slump.

“You have begun to let him play with your neck with his fingers,” the brunet then continued, warning him. “He is getting to you.”

Slaine stepped away from the bars and backed away as he knew what Orange was saying. The blond had noticed it as well.

“I know…” he mumbled and gently hit his back against the wall. He pulled the blanket closer around himself and squeezed his hands around the soft material.

“Once he bites you, you will-“

“I KNOW!” the omega yelled loud enough his voice bounced around the walls in the cell and corridor. “I know… You don’t have to preach about it.”

“If you don’t want him to mark you, you have to stay alert,” the brunet continued after a short pause. “Do you want him to mark you?”

Slaine looked up at him with an angered expression.

“Certainly not! When I’m not in heat, every cell in my body tells me not to mate with him because his genes are worthless. He’s too old,” the blond omega growled, but he somehow knew it was not the entire truth.

Slaine had noticed that the many years of abuse had done something unexplainable to him. Each time the vice admiral forced him down and asked him to move his hand so he could mark the omega, Slaine felt a strange acceptance crawl over him that frightened him. This acceptance was not only shallow due to the heat, but it also came from deeper within him, like he was slowly brainwashed to allow him to belong to the vice admiral.

He had grown used to the abuse, which also made him believe in a strange way that a fate with the vice admiral would not be that bad even if it was far from pleasant, and this he thought even if he rationally knew a future with the old alpha was the worst future he could have. It was like an involuntary thought, telling him it was an emotional thought; a chaotic state of mind.

He had always wondered how the bond between an omega and alpha could form if there was no love between them; he had seen it plenty of times where an omega was bonded with an abusing alpha. How had that been possible when being fearful of someone?; that even abuse could wither an omega’s mind away to the point they would unwillingly want to bond with the abusing alpha.

Now he believed he had his answer:

What he feared the most was that he would sooner or later allow the vice admiral to mark him and that he would emotionally accept it; it was the most convenient thing to do even if he rejected it rationally due to his principles. This told him that love and rationality had nothing to do with the bond; in the end, it was the omega’s state of mind that would allow the bond to form.

‘ _How sick_ ,’ he though. ‘ _If Häkkinen abuses me enough, I’ll accept him?_ ’

“And what about me?” Orange asked curtly, and Slaine went silent for a moment as he stared at the brunet.

It was true the alpha standing before him would have been a much more suitable mate than the vice admiral. Orange’s pheromones smelled good whether or not Slaine wanted to admit it; the young man had strong genes and would most likely produce healthy children. He was also strong and capable – someone who would rise to the high ranks in whatever department he would aim to climb the ladder of success. Slaine’s entire body knew this and his loins burned hotter than with anyone else.

‘ _It’s even worse than when I think about Asseylum_ ,’ he thought and then groaned out loud as his loins made his legs quiver from a sudden heat wave. He had just recently had sex. Why was he responding this strongly to Orange’s question? ‘ _My body wants him… It’s betraying me!_ ’

“You?” Slaine scoffed with a snarl after collecting himself. “Don’t make me laugh. You can’t satisfy me even if you tried.”

“Then teach me,” the brown-haired alpha said – curtly once again.

Slaine stared at him with surprise and was confused about what to answer to such a sudden request. The request had been like a pleasant melody to his ears and made him think involuntary thoughts: The inexperienced alpha was moldable; Slaine could make him do whatever the omega wanted to feel pleased. He could train the young alpha to finger him just the way he liked it. He could teach him to give the omega his cock just the way that made Slaine reach blissful heaven. He could demand his mouth to pleasure him between the legs, and he could teach him to last long enough the omega had come several times before the young alpha did.

‘ _And I can suck each drop of his semen out of him and carry it inside me…_ ’ he thought and felt his mind spin as his heat burst free.

His body slumped against the wall from weakness; he wanted to mate. Badly.

Orange seemed to notice this as his gaze was clouded with lust, and he said with a slightly husky voice:

“Tell me what makes you feel good, and I’ll do it until you want me to stop.”

‘ _Don’t say things like that!_ ’ the blond thought shocked as his knees shook beneath him and almost gave way.

He wanted to go down on all four and urge the brunet to mount him – flaunt his entire body for him and have him make him moan while taking him hard from behind and feel his bite against his neck and fill him with his seed and knot and be impreg-

‘ _STOP!_ ’ he thought panicked as his thoughts were running out of control. ‘ _I don’t want that!_ ’

And yet, he did.

Slaine could not answer him. He could not bark back at him in the usual manner, since his body was overcome by such want he could hardly keep himself back from hurrying over to the alpha and let the young man push into him through the bars. Desperation ruled him. He wanted him. Oh, god, he wanted him to the point it nearly drove him mad.

“Haahh…” the blond gasped and writhed. His entrance was becoming wet and he was sure it was not the vice admiral’s seed sipping out of him; his body was lubricating and preparing for Orange to take him.

“Slaine…” the alpha said quietly. “I will not order you, but only ask: Let me mark you before Häkkinen does.”

‘ _Yes… Do that. Please!_ ’ the blond thought and felt even his neck tingle. He took a deep breath and leaned his head back against the wall, exposing his neck momentarily before he understood what he was doing. He quickly lowered and shook his head to clear his muddy mind.

“N-no!” he gasped from desperation and-

The bars to the cell were hit by something, and when Slaine looked up he saw Orange stare back at him with an intense stare while holding the bars tightly enough his knuckles had turned white. The papers he had brought with him lay on the floor and his mask had been pulled down. The burgundy eye looking at him flickered with powerful heat and the brunet stared at him like a predator.

“W-what are you-? Mmhh…!” Slaine began and then collapsed onto his knees as the heat became too much.

To have the young alpha look at him like that – as if he wanted him and only him – was excruciatingly throwing gasoline onto the already burning furnace. The blond gasped with relaxed and parted lips and looked back at the alpha staring at him. He tried to hold back his moans but it was useless. Instead, he groaned and the blanket surrounding him fell open and his body was exposed to the other.

‘ _Look at me… Want me…_ ’

“Come here,” the young alpha said – this time with a somewhat demanding tone.

The brunet’s usual emotionless expression and monotone voice were both filled with animalistic lust – lust he had willingly subjected himself to by pulling the mask down from his face.

Instead of obeying Orange’s order, Slaine pushed his back against the wall and squeezed his thighs shut while his hands were buried between his legs – holding his hardened flesh protectively. If he obeyed the alpha, he would be bitten immediately the moment he walked up to the bars.

‘ _I… I can’t let him have me!_ ’ he desperately thought as he closed his eyes and tried to force his body to realize the seriousness of the situation. ‘ _I will not lose to him – anyone but him!_ ’

“Slaine,” he heard the brunet say, and the blond shook his head. “Come closer.”

“Aahh… W-why? You’ll just … hhng … bond with me…” the omega sighed and began moving his hands between his legs. It felt humiliating but his need did not care about that the slightest; it demanded Slaine to release it.

“Isn’t that what you want?” Orange answered hungrily, and Slaine released a pathetic whimper. “I will do it if you want to.”

‘ _I do, I do, I do!_ ’

“G-get away … haagh … from me,” the blond whispered and writhed again. “Go away!”

‘ _I can’t stand looking at you!_ ’ the omega thought and fought against the urge to get up and just let the young alpha bite him and take him.

Orange stood there watching him for a while, before he seemed to give up and left with the words:

“It’s either him or me. I’m sorry I can’t give you other options.”

Slaine slid sideways against the wall and fell onto the mattress once Orange’s footsteps had faded away, and he released the hottest gasp yet during his stay in this tedious prison. Something was wrong with him; he was responding to Orange so strongly it drove him to the point where he was ready to give up on rebelling against the young alpha and let him take him and mark him.

For each time Orange had proposed to let him mark Slaine instead of the vice admiral, the violent tingle in the pit of Slaine’s stomach had become stronger and stronger. The fires of heat and lust had burned hotter and the flames had licked his skin mercilessly. All of it seemed to increase whenever the brunet was around.

Slaine admitted that it felt thrilling to have this kind of impossible relationship to his enemy. Again, it felt like he was playing with fire when constantly trying to resist the urge to give his body and soul to the other, wondering with excitement when he would lose and be marked.

‘ _I sure like to play with fire when in heat…_ ’ he hopelessly thought and silently scolded himself.

The level of his aggressiveness had increased ever since the heat had announced its arrival, and he was aggressive in every way possible. He liked to provoke everyone nearby with insults and name calling. He enjoyed flaunting his body and making others want him, even if he knew there was a risk of them actually assaulting him. He found it a relief to fight and hurt others and break things.

‘ _And I love to play with him like this…_ ’ he thought as Orange’s image floated into his mind, and Slaine decided to relieve himself as best as he could to that image by moving his hands between his legs, one hand around his cock and the fingers of the other pushing into his needy hole – imagining them being Orange’s.

“Aahhh…!”

αβΩ

The last day of his heat period had come and the blond felt exhausted. His eyes could not focus on anything, nor could his mind concentrate on developing a thought. All he could do was to lie on the mattress and stare at the wall right before his eyes without seeing it while the disgusting old alpha waited for his knot to dissipate.

Right now it was plugging the omega’s entrance to keep the seed inside him, and Slaine’s entire system was screaming with joy while his reason felt disgusted.

Häkkinen’s weight rested on his back, like it had done after each mating occasion during the entire week. The man’s leather belt lay around Slaine’s neck after the vice admiral had used it like a leash, pulling the omega’s body harder against his flesh to grind the hardened cock into the blond with each thrust. It was still tight but Slaine was too weak to bother pulling at it.

The last day of his heat had truly been disorienting and ruthless; the moment he had recognized the vice admiral’s steps in the corridor, he had gotten up to wait for him at the bars to seduce him deeper into the cell.  He had even pulled him in and coiled his arms around his neck while rubbing his groin against the alpha’s thigh, humping him like desperate dog.

A hand grabbed his right wrist and moved the omega’s hand away from his neck, where it had protected the sensitive spot. A warm and moist breath tickled against the pale skin, but Slaine bothered not to fight back. Instead, he released a soft breath and closed his eyes, and then a tongue licked across the spot that tingled and begged for attention. The wet touch made his skin crawl with anticipation and all hairs stood on end; giving the omega goosebumps. He shuddered and released a sigh before he leaned his head to the left just a little.

He was giving himself to the alpha.

“Sir!” a sudden voice said loudly and unexpectedly in the proximity, and both Slaine and the vice admiral jumped from surprise. Slaine immediately woke up from the trance and put both hands over his neck as his heart began beating wildly from realizing his guard had been lowered. “The headquarters are requesting you on the phone,” Orange’s voice said, and Slaine turned his head to look at the corridor outside the bars. The brunet stood there, glaring at the vice admiral.

‘ _He … saved me?_ ’ the blond thought surprised as he met Orange’s agitated expression. ‘ _He’s jealous!_ ’

Häkkinen was clearly angered by the brunet’s sudden interruption, and Slaine heard the man say:

“That could have waited for a minute more.”

He was really angry.

“No,” Orange continued, determined and brave. “It is quite urgent. The empress has requested for a meeting on how to deal with the remaining landing castles on Earth and our superiors are calling everyone to the-“

Häkkinen interrupted the brunet with a deep sigh, grumbling as he tried pulling out of the omega lying beneath him.

“Aaagh!” Slaine yelped as he felt the knot still fill him enough it would hurt to pull it out. His flesh was sore from all the mating he had been subjected to throughout the week.

“I cannot answer the call like this; it could have waited. I almost had him,” the older alpha said with a growl.

“I am very sorry, sir,” the young alpha said, not sounding sorry at all; he almost had a challenging tone to his voice but it was deeply hidden behind the monotone voice he usually had; Slaine had learned to distinguish the small variations in his tone. “It will not happen again.”

Before Orange left, he threw a last warning glance at Slaine. When the other left, the blond heard Häkkinen sigh heavily and felt his gaze burn against his neck.

“Move your hands, omega,” the old man ordered, but Slaine clutched his hands harder around his neck. “I said: Move your hands! I am tired of these games of yours.”

Slaine gritted his teeth for a short second before growling:

“To hell with you!”

A strong hand slapped him over his head and Slaine hunched his shoulders and closed his eyes tightly. It was a warning; the alpha was not patient at all, probably due to being teased to almost mark the omega he had tried to tame for the entire week.

“Move your hands,” he ordered again, but Slaine did not obey and made himself prepared for another slap. Instead, a threat landed in his ear: “If you disobey, I will be forced to discipline you just like your previous owner has.” A finger traced one of the large scars on Slaine’s back, and the omega felt his body grow cold for a moment. “Tell me which option you prefer. I will mark you no matter what you choose.”

Slaine gritted his teeth as his heart became dark, and he threw a glance over his shoulder at the alpha.

“No matter what you do…” he hissed. “You will never hurt me. You can’t discipline me better than the previous alpha did.”

“He _failed_ to discipline you,” the alpha said amused and took a hold of Slaine’s left wrist. “He sounds like a weak-willed alpha to me considering how wildly you behave. I would like to try and discipline you thoroughly. Do you prefer whips – like your previous owner – or canes?”

‘ _He’s only trying to scare me_ ,’ Slaine thought and resisted the alpha’s pull on his left hand.

“Is that all?” the omega provoked. “Whips or canes? Sounds boring,” he then grunted.

The alpha chuckled and forcefully yanked Slaine’s left hand away from his neck, which was left exposed. Panic erupted in the omega now that he was fully aware of what the alpha was trying to do, and he began struggling immediately.

To his dismay, no matter what he did, he was overpowered by the alpha’s weight that pushed him down against the mattress. It made no difference if he tried to kick him, since his legs were forced down by the alpha’s, and his left hand was pinned against the mattress while the other was clutching his neck. If Slaine released his neck, both sides of it would be exposed to the alpha’s delight.

“Resist me not. You know this is your only choice; I will mark you sooner or later and it is useless and a waste of energy to struggle,” the alpha purred into his ear.

“RELEASE ME!” the blond cried angrily and shook his head. “LET ME GO!”

“Or else…?” the vice admiral chuckled amused and his breath brushed Slaine’s neck again.

Or else what? Slaine’s mind kicked up a whirlwind of empty threats and he tried to grasp whatever he could to throw back at the alpha. A forbidden thought came to mind as he desperately tried to find a way to fight the one mounting him, and he decided he would be that cruel:

“Or else I will kill the child before it’s born,” the omega growled and felt the alpha freeze. It was a sign he had somehow won, even just a little, and Slaine chuckled with a disgustingly mad tone to his voice: “It should be quite easy, don’t you think? All I need to do is to hit my stomach hard enough, massage it too hard, or cause some kind of accident and it will be dead.”

The alpha pulled violently out of him and it baffled the blond why the man did not scream out with pain; Slaine felt as if his insides were pulled out as well and screamed with unpleasant surprise. Then he was brutally thrown onto his back and the alpha pushed him down and took a grip of Slaine’s throat, leaned in close enough their breaths mingled, and said:

“If that is how you want it, then I will order the guards to chain you to your bed and keep you like that throughout the nine months of your pregnancy.” Slaine got the feeling it was a very real threat; the vice admiral would do that if he had to. “If you make any kind of attempt to hurt my child, then I will-“

The alpha was interrupted by the omega who spit him in his face and glared back at him with the sharpest glare he could muster. This angered Häkkinen, whose eyes widened with fury and made him raise his hand. Before Slaine had the time to understand what was going on, he was hit so hard over his face his neck creaked and stars exploded before his eyes. Then another hit with the back of a hand busted his lip, and blood began trickling down his jaw.

The alpha was an aggressive one – Slaine had understood that from the very first day they had met. Despite that, the blond did not fear him even if the abuse hurt enough to make his bones ache. Cruhteo had been worse when the proud count had captured Slaine after his escapade to search for the princess; the beating the blond went through now was nothing compared to that moment two years ago. Now he was beaten ruthlessly, pinched and shaken violently by the alpha who had gone mad from aggression, but he still felt no pain that could be compared with the pain Cruhteo had caused.

When Slaine’s hair was pulled so hard he feared it would rip from his scalp, the omega finally mustered the strength to fight back. He reached out his hands and instantly clawed at the alpha’s face while releasing an animalistic cry from his throat. He dragged his nails across the man’s cheeks and temples, clutching hard to the alpha’s jawline to hook his fingers behind it, and then dragged his nails across his face again in an attempt to rip the flesh off.

Steps rushed into the room and the alpha and omega were separated by strong hands.

“Calm down, sir!” a guard yelled.

The vice admiral calmed down after a moment of exchanging an intense glare with Slaine, who glared back at him with the same kind of anger. They hated each other. It was clear enough that sparks threatened to fly between them. The air was thick with hatred, suffocating the blond who breathed violently to catch his breath. The alpha did the same while blood trickled from the scratch wounds on his face, before he straightened his back and shook the guard off him.

“I am calm,” he said and pulled his hands through his disheveled hair.

“Are you all right?” the guard then asked. “You are bleeding from your face, sir.”

“Yes, I feel fine,” the vice admiral said and cleared his throat.

No one gave Slaine the same question; everyone was occupied with pampering the old man who was correcting his messy clothes to look presentable again. No one cared to ask if Slaine felt all right despite he was worse off than the vice admiral; his lip was bleeding and he had bruises everywhere, he had been raped and probably had a black eye, and he was weaker than the alpha.

“Why won’t any of you check that I feel all right?!” he suddenly yelled and began struggling in the guard’s grip. A second guard hurried up to him to hold him still as well, but the blond did not stop kicking and screaming as tears gathered in his eyes from both anger and grief. “He has raped me and abused me throughout this entire week to forcefully impregnate me, and you only care about licking his boots?!”

“Silence, omega!” the alpha growled.

“No! You shut up!” Slaine yelled back and tried to break free from his captors to attack the man again, but he was held back by strong hands. “You’re the vile one! You have trespassed on my body and ravished it, and you have the guts to stand straight and proud after something like that! Poisonous viper! You’re nothing but a damned snake!”

The vice admiral was about to step over to the blond when he was held back again by a guard’s hand over his chest.

“Sir… Don’t,” the guard whispered, and the alpha seemed to calm down again.

“Who are you to speak about injustice after what you have done?” he asked instead, and Slaine felt exhaustion spread across his mind.

“How many times will you use that excuse to allow yourself to attack someone who has already lost everything?!” he yelled with tears streaming down his face. “If you want a child from me, then I will kill it; I won’t give you a child even if it costs me my life! I will claw it out of my womb with my bare hands if I have to!”

The alpha only scoffed with a raised eyebrow and then turned to leave the cell. He did not give Slaine any other reaction than that, but instead ordered one of the guards:

“Once the test is positive, chain his arms and legs to their respective corner of a bed.”

“S-sir…!” the guard who received that order stammered and stared at the vice admiral, who threw a stern glare at him. The guard then slowly nodded and answered: “Y-yes, sir…”

Slaine knew the vice admiral was serious, and – to have the last word – Slaine yelled from between his gritted teeth:

“Then I will chew myself out of those chains like a dog, even if it costs me my limbs!”

‘ _Help me! Asseylum, help me! I can’t take this anymore!_ ’ the prisoner thought while he cried and glared at his abuser. ‘ _I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for what I have done to your dream and your nation and family! Just stop this! Please!_ ’

He knew she had nothing to do with this. She probably knew nothing about how Slaine was treated in this prison. Did she even care? She had not visited him once and only sent small words to him through Orange.

Slaine wished he could be her obedient caged bird – tame and calm – since that was probably how she wanted him, but this cage and his carers were stressing him out, making him want to pluck his own feathers; an abused bird would wither away by its own beak.

As the vice admiral left, Slaine could not hold the frustration of being a victim of terrible abuse, and he collapsed in the guards’ arms and began screaming from madness. The guards seemed to realize he was weakened by the emotions swirling in him that they dared to let him go, and – one by one – they walked out of the cell. Only one stopped to look over his shoulder at the omega who knelt on the floor, doubled over with hands clutching his blond hair while crying so loudly it tore at his throat. Then, without a word, that guard left as well – and the cell was locked.

Suddenly his surroundings were completely calm again. It was only him who was in utter chaos. Everything else was silent except his mind and heart.

He put his arms around his stomach, holding it tightly while begging for it to never grow. Even if he for a moment thought he was serious with his threat, he still wished he never had to follow it through. For each second that passed, he then began realizing it was a threat that would never be acted out. No matter how he tried to distance himself from the little being that was soon to grow in him, it still felt like a nightmare to snuff out the ember that was to be a new life.

‘ _I won’t be able to do it_ ,’ he thought and began to tremble as he cried loudly. ‘ _I can’t kill it_.’

In two or three weeks he would know if his body would carry another life – a life he would never get to see. They were going to take the child away from him after birth and never let him even rest his eyes on it for a moment, nor hold it. He would forever know that there was a child out there – somewhere – who would never know the parent that had carried it for nine months. All he could hope for was that the vice admiral – despite his cruel nature – would take good care of it.

He brushed his hands over his belly – over his womb – and the omega’s desperate cries of frustration turned into nothing but despaired whimpers.

‘ _I won’t be able to protect you, little one. Please, don’t come to be_.’

“Are you all right?” a quiet voice asked suddenly.

Slaine had not noticed someone approaching the cell. Perhaps they had arrived while he had been crying from frustration? As he looked up, Orange stood on the other side of the bars, watching him with a small hint of pity in the usually empty expression.

“GO AWAY!” the agitated blond screamed and wished he had something to throw at the other. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“You wanted someone to ask you how you felt,” Orange said, and Slaine was somewhat taken aback by the other’s sudden counter. “I heard you all the way to the office,” the young alpha then explained. “Are you all right?”

Slaine took a couple of breaths and stared at him in silence, before anger flushed up on the shores of his chaotic mind and he yelled again:

“JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!”

The blond was not even sure if he was behaving fairly. The other only wished to make sure he was feeling all right, just like Slaine had asked for. Someone was responding to his cries, and he was mercilessly barking back at them.

‘ _Why him of all people?_ ’ he thought and sniffled.

“Are you all right?” Orange asked a third time, and Slaine lowered his angry glare and hung his head.

“No…” he mumbled with a raspy voice – broken from his screams. “He hasn’t even looked at me once; he always takes me from behind. I hate him…”

“As you should; you have been cruelly treated,” the other said gently.

“And…?” Slaine asked without looking at him. “What good will that do? I’m tired of feeling.”

Orange did not answer his question, but instead sounded somewhat desperate as he said:

“Forgive me…” Slaine looked up at him and saw the other still wear that hidden expression of pity when looking at the mentally wounded omega. “Choose me, Troyard. I won’t treat you like that.”

Slaine frowned.

“Hah!” he scoffed with tears still streaming down his face. He tried to curve his lips into a condescending smile, but he got the feeling he looked tremendously pathetic instead. “Do you know how it feels to be an omega?” he then asked while still smiling. “From the moment we go into our first heat our world becomes a scary place. Suddenly, all alphas are potential rapists. We have to constantly be aware of whom we meet on the public streets and in the corridors of the buildings we frequent. We have to filter through the empty promises alphas give us and never trust anyone. One foot outside of the thin line we walk, and we risk of becoming some alpha’s mate for life.” Slaine warped his crying and smiling expression into pure anger, and glared at the brunet. “By cornering an already vulnerable omega like this you are no better than the vice admiral!”

“Troyard-“ Orange tried, but the blond would not let him speak.

“You are both wretched alphas! Would it matter whose child I carry?!” the prisoner interrupted him, but the alpha was quick to argue against him again:

“Yes, it would!” he answered and surprised the blond with the loud tone to his voice, before it changed back to its silent tone: “I know you have noticed it, Slaine.”

‘ _Noticed?_ ’ Slaine wondered confused while being surprised by Orange calling him by his first name, but got no time to continue brooding over what the brunet had said as the alpha continued again:

“I will look at you and I will see you,” Orange said and walked up to the bars. Slaine’s anger subsided somewhat as he heard the other promise him kindness. “I will hear you and listen to you, and I will think of you with value and respect you. Two children are all I ask for.”

Slaine’s heart fluttered from those gentle words and his breath was caught in his throat as he began to suspect what Orange had meant by why it would matter if Slaine carried his children instead of the vice admiral’s.

‘ _He’s messing with my mind now that I’m vulnerable and impressionable because of the heat!_ ’

“So that you can take them away?” Slaine scoffed while feeling confused, desperately trying to protect his pride. “Don’t make me laugh!”

“I won’t take them away from you,” the brunet answered, and – this time – Slaine was nearly silenced by the other’s words: “I will let you name them and nurse them like a mother should, and I will help you and be there for you when you allow me to.”

Only a whisper was produced by the prisoner’s lips as he stared baffled at the alpha who spoke such grand words to him:

“This is a prison; it’s not a place for children to grow up in.”

“We will make it work somehow,” the young man said.

‘ _Make it work somehow…_ ’ Slaine thought. Those words rang pleasantly in his ears.

“I will talk to my superiors and – if I have to – I’ll talk to the empress and let her know about this. She will surely grant us her mercy,” Orange insisted and took a hold of the bars. “You have noticed it, Slaine. I know you have,” he then said silently. “All this rivalry and hate has been nothing but the expression of our destined bon-“

“STOP IT!” the omega yelled and shook his head violently enough his overgrown hair brushed over his eyes. He wanted not to hear it. “She’s my true mate!” the prisoner then continued. “Asseylum is my fated mate – my only true alpha!”

Orange stayed quiet for a while, and they stared at each other in silence. They both wanted to mate with each other so badly it was making them frustrated at each other, just like on the battlefield; Orange was calm but pushy, and Slaine was erratic and passionate.

“How did you decide she’s the one?” the alpha asked. “Did you really feel it or did you decide that for yourself?”

Slaine went silent as he tried to wrap his mind around what Orange was saying. It was true; Slaine had thought something was off with how much his loins burned each time he saw Orange. Even back when he had been on suppressant drugs – back in the days of him being Count Saazbaum Troyard – his loins had felt hotter than usual each time he had met the young alpha on the battlefield.

The day they had met on board the landing castle where the omega had shot the alpha, something had stuck with him after seeing the brunet for the first time in the flesh – something Slaine could not ignore. It had been odd how strongly he felt it. Even if his heats had been completely suffocated by the suppressant drugs just a couple of days later, he had still bedded Harklight and had let the beta indulge in his body simply to calm the heat Orange caused by being close by – even if he had been in the orange kataphrakt while Slaine had been in his Tharsis; there had not even been a need to feel the scent of each other’s pheromones to coax forth a heat. After their first meeting in the flesh, the mere sound of Orange’s voice had been enough to cause a heat.

Because of that heat, Slaine had hated him more than anyone.

‘ _I didn’t want to admit it?_ ’ he now thought as he stared at the alpha looking back at him. ‘ _I have stubbornly and blindly adored Asseylum?_ ’

Slaine had never thought of Asseylum sexually – he realized it now. He had never touched himself or had to calm his heats when thinking about her, but, as recently as yesterday, he had released his heat while thinking about the young alpha standing before him now on the other side of the bars.

What Slaine had wanted to give Asseylum was a large family because that had been one of her dreams – a dream he could fulfill if he was only allowed to. Without even asking, he had given up on her wanting him and had instead pursued her other dream of establishing peace between Earth and Vers once power had fallen into his hands out of the blue – and broken her heart in the process.

‘ _But I never wanted to bed her…_ ’ he thought and found that he could not force his eyes away from the brunet waiting for his answer. ‘ _Instead of wanting something as simple as that, I became a tyrant and a war criminal. That’s not what a fated mate wants, right?_ ’ It nearly made him laugh with confusion as he laid it out flat like that; he realized it sounded like a parody. ‘ _Instead of wanting to settle down and produce children, I waged war with two entire worlds…_ ’

He began laughing quietly with tears still wetting his cheeks as he felt stupid. It was impossible to contain the confused laughter after realizing he had no idea why he had decided Asseylum was his fated mate and done something as insane as interplanetary warfare in her name. It was true that he adored her; she had been his guardian angel and the one to give him support when he had had no one to turn to. She had saved his life and looked out for him by letting him stay with her in the royal palace on Vers.

‘ _Have I confused the gratitude I feel for everything she has done with her being my fated mate?_ ’ he wondered and went silent again. ‘ _But how can_ he _be my mate?_ ’ Slaine then wondered and looked up at the young alpha.

There had only been hate brewing behind the heat that Orange had flared up in the tyrant’s loins.

“Leave,” Slaine sighed instead as he decided not to answer the brunet’s question.

He had to think things through because everything had been made confusing. Slaine had been so sure he knew what his future held and why that he was lost now that it turned out it did not have to be that way.

“Please, consider it,” Orange said as he accepted Slaine’s demand. “It doesn’t matter if he has made you pregnant. I will be with you anyway.”

Orange left Slaine alone after those words and the omega slumped down onto the mattress and curled up beneath the blanket to cover his naked body.

‘ _Inaho Kaizuka…_ ’ he thought and sighed, drying the blood away from his busted lip that had begun to swell.

His nose was attacked by the smell of Häkkinen. The blanket had a strong whiff of the alpha’s scent, which made Slaine feel nauseous. He pushed that part of the blanket away from his face and wrinkled his nose from disgust. Then he laid his head to rest and closed his eyes.

‘ _I wonder how Orange smells like when he’s mating…_ ’ he wondered spontaneously, but then frowned heavily. ‘ _Stop it, Troyard. Clear your mind_ ,’ he scolded and sighed again.

But, as he had struggled for a short while to get rid of the other’s image to no avail, he opened his eyes a little and stared at the spot where Orange had been standing just now, and smiled a sorrowful smile.

‘ _Am I allowed to think he speaks the truth…?_ ’


	6. The Child-bearer

_He stumbled across the perfectly polished floor as he was thrown out of his lord’s room with disheveled clothes and tousled hair. Tears streamed down his crimson cheeks and he desperately held his open uniform jacket and ripped apart t-shirt closed. His body hurt slightly – it was less painful than Trillram’s bullying – but what hurt the most were the emotions overflowing in him._

_He had no idea what had just happened, but he had a feeling it had been something bad and the confusion was making him frightened. Cruhteo had put the choker with a bell on him and then pushed him down against the floor, ripped his clothes open to expose the boy’s neither regions, only to push his genitalia into his behind. He had offered no explanation to the boy, since he seemed to think the knowledge of what had happened should have already been understood, but Slaine had gotten no information about this and therefore had no idea what had been done to him. He just knew it felt bad._

_‘_ He said I’m an omega _,’ he thought and pulled his trousers up to button them while he sniffled and dried a tear away with the back of a glove-covered hand._

_The Terran boy had heard of them before; he knew he had been one ever since he was born, but he had no idea what it really meant to be an omega. No one had explained it to him and he had not had anyone to ask; his father had been too occupied with the Aldnoah research to bother explaining anything, and he had not dared to ask the princess about it either. She had been an alpha, he had learned, but he did not know what that meant either._

_‘_ What happened? What does this have to do with me being an omega? _’ he wondered and began walking down the corridor back to his room, sniffling while bearing with the uncomfortable feeling of stickiness between the legs._

_A soldier met him when he turned around the corner, and the boy tried to look brave and not let her see what a mess he was in, but since some of the buttons on his uniform had been ripped away when Cruhteo had forced his uniform open, there was no way for Slaine to hide that something bad had happened._

_The soldier stopped to stare after him when Slaine hurried down the corridor, but left him alone by not following him. The next person he met on his way was an officer, who immediately followed him after Slaine had hurried past him._

_‘_ He’ll bully me? _’ Slaine thought shocked and continued walking so briskly the bell on his choker began to sound. It was a small spherical bell – like the bells he remembered cats had on their collars at times back on Earth – and it jingled joyfully like a bell should. The boy raised his hand to enclose the bell inside his fist to silence it. ‘_ This is so mortifying! _’_

_Suddenly, the steps of the officer began closing in on him quickly, and before Slaine knew it he was halted by a hand gripping his upper arm. He looked over his shoulder as he wondered what the officer’s business with him was, but he could not utter a word the moment he saw the black flames – similar to those Cruhteo had had – in the officer’s eyes._

_“An omega?” the officer asked and pulled Slaine closer to catch a sniff of him. The boy tried to pull his arm free as fright began to spread in him. Would this officer do the same thing Cruhteo had done? “And you are not on suppressants?”_

_“S-suppressants, sir?” Slaine asked confused and attempted to pull his arm free again, but to no avail. “Please, I kindly ask you to let go of me.”_

_“You don’t know what suppressants are?” the officer asked curiously and began pulling Slaine along. The blond dared not to resist too much, since he was unsure of where the officer was taking him or what he was going to do with him. “Suppressants stop an omega from going into heat,” the officer continued. “I am surprised you do not know this since you are an omega yourself.”_

_“S-sir…” Slaine mumbled and felt fear grow bigger in him. “I am greatly confused about this omega deal, and I ask you to let me-“_

_“You are a breeding animal,” the officer said curtly and bluntly, silencing the shocked boy. “But that choker with a bell shows that you are not to be bred on or to be bonded with.”_

_“I- I don’t understand, s-sir,” Slaine stammered and felt cold sweat pearl down his temples and dampen the back of his uniform._

_“Are you an uneducated virgin? That means you are simply here to provide pleasure to the crew to boost morale; you can’t hide with that bell jingling when you run,” the officer told him. “In short, you are a prostitute that gets paid with getting your basic needs satisfied.”_

_‘_ A prostitute? _’ Slaine thought – still feeling confused._

_“Are you still confused?” the officer sighed. “Let me show you.”_

_With those words, panic erupted inside the boy who tore himself free. Those were the same words Cruhteo had said before he had pushed him down against the floor, and Slaine began to understand what was expected of him. He did not want that; he wished to simply serve as a normal servant and not be pushed down by others, since that alone was forcing him into a distressingly vulnerable and submissive state. What Cruhteo had done had physically felt good, but he had been so violent it had hurt at times and the confusion and fear had made the entire experience nothing but horrible._

_Slaine began running down the corridor, toward his room. Tears kept flowing down his cheeks again now that he realized what his new duty implied. The jolly bell jingled again and he could not bother to silence it, which led to one of the worst mistakes in his life: The sound attracted unwanted attention, and soon a couple of more officers were at his tail – all chasing him._

_‘_ Leave me alone! _’ the boy thought terrified and cried from the chaotic panic and fear while his chasers were obviously humored._

_The steps were coming closer. They chased him persistently. They had run after him down the stairs, followed him down the corridors and had chased him all the way to his room. Slaine saw the door to his room and desperately prayed he would be able to open and close it before the officers would catch up to him._

_The moment he got inside and was about to close the door, a hand took a hold of the door and forced it open. Those who had chased him barged into his room and immediately took a hold of him and pushed him down. The boy was so frightened he was completely robbed of his voice, and – before he knew it – he was nearly naked on his knees, facing the floor while hands grabbed his hips to pull him back, and then the first officer pushed his heat into him._

_“NO! S-STOP!” the boy finally managed to scream and pushed himself up from the floor to begin struggling, but one of the officers surrounding him placed his right boot between Slaine’s shoulder blades and pushed him down against the floor. Slaine had no choice but to give in; the force pressuring him down was merciless. “P-PLEASE!”_

_The people around him chuckled._

_“Be an obedient omega, Terran,” a woman purred. “Even though the thrill of the chase adds to the pleasure, I must say.”_

_“H-help…! S-someone…!” the boy cried._

_“Make his bell ring properly,” someone urged and the thrusts became harder, making the bell on the choker ring louder. “It tingles so pleasantly in my ears.”_

_‘_ No! Please stop this! I don’t want this! It hurts! _’ the omega begged in his mind._

_His breath made the floor beneath him fog over, and his tears began to dry. Even if it hurt – both emotionally and physically – his body was beginning to respond to the officer who was doing the same thing to him as Cruhteo had done earlier. It began to feel good even if something in him told him that what they did to him was bad. He heard the gasps and moans of the person behind him, and the sound of their flesh colliding filled his ears._

_“Ahhn…” he heard his own voice moan. “Aaagh…! Mmmh!”_

_“He is warming up to it,” someone chuckled. “He likes it.”_

_‘_ No! _’ the omega thought and sighed heavily. His breath bounced back up against his cheeks from the floor._

_“His pheromones… Damn…! They make my head all fuzzy.”_

_“Haaahhh…! Ohh…” the boy moaned. His eyes rolled up in their sockets before he closed them._

_“He’s moving his hips,” the one moaning behind him said._

_“He looks so good… Hurry up already!”_

_That day, the first day of his life as a fertile omega, Slaine learned that once the door to his room was forced open during his heats, there was no way for him to close it for days to come._

A scream echoed in the proximity and Slaine woke up with a start, drenched in sweat and breathing violently. His body shook with an unsettling feeling crawling through him, as if a ghost was preying on him, and he wondered for a confused moment what had happened and who had screamed before he recognized where he was.

Steps hurried down the corridor outside the cell and soon two guards stood at the bars. Slaine looked up at them – spooked by their sudden appearance – and his skin crawled as they watched him.

‘ _Don’t look at me!_ ’ he thought and pulled the duvet around him; his blanket had been upgraded to a duvet the other day, and he had gotten a thicker mattress now that he had calmed down after his heat had dissipated.

“What is going on? You screamed,” one of the guards said and looked stressed.

Slaine nodded and collected his mind that was in disarray, to answer him.

“It … was just a nightmare,” he said quietly with a broken voice, and the guards looked relieved. “What time is it?” the omega then asked, and one of the guards looked at his wristwatch.

“It’s seven in the morning soon.”

Slaine nodded slowly and then lay down on the bed again and turned his back toward the guards. He pulled the duvet over his shoulders and took a deep breath to calm down. His heart was still beating in a wild protest because of the nightmare and painful memory he thought he had forgotten.

“When will the obstetrician arrive?” he then asked quietly.

He had been assigned an obstetrician who would take care of him throughout his stay in the prison – where he would most likely stay for the rest of his life. This obstetrician would make sure he was fine and healthy enough to bear children, and make sure he stayed that way.

It had been three weeks since his heat had ended, and today was the first meeting with the obstetrician who would make a pregnancy test on him and perform a gynecological examination. Slaine feared for that moment, since he had a terrible feeling the test would be positive; his body had felt different already even if it had been only three weeks. He could not pinpoint on exactly what felt strange with it, but he felt as if his body was more sensitive than usual and his menstruation was one week late; it usually always came two weeks after the heat.

He was sure he had been properly impregnated by the vice admiral.

“He’ll be here at ten o’clock,” the guard answered him. “Is there anything you need, or you want to be left alone to sleep until breakfast?”

Slaine took a deep breath and squeezed the pillow with his left hand.

“I want to sleep,” the prisoner answered, and – as he requested – he was left alone

‘ _Please – God or whoever is listening; I don’t care if you’re a devil or a guardian angel – make it so that I’m not pregnant_ ,’ he thought and chewed on his lower lip from nervousness.

He felt anxious. If he was pregnant, he would make a child that he would not get to be a mother to. Nine months of hell awaited him if the test came back positive; nine months of a constantly present grief over losing his own child once those months had passed. That grief would not settle until the child was born, and the trauma from being separated from the child would take its place immediately after that.

What support would he have after that? Would anyone – even a professional – tend to his emotional wounds after the birth and separation, before he would be put through the same ordeal of producing a second child?

‘ _I really should kill it…_ ’ he thought and took a deep breath and closed his eyes to stay calm. The worry tore at him. ‘ _If I do it in the early stage, it won’t be conscious about it; it won’t understand what its mother is doing._ ’

But…

It was his first child. He could not do it, his instincts told him. The life he carried was sacred. Had it been anyone else’s child he would have cared little about what they did with it. It would be their choice and responsibility, and they would probably have their own reasons for doing something like that.

‘ _Don’t get attached to it!_ ’ he scolded his instincts. ‘ _It’s just a lump of cells!_ ’

But … it was a lump of _his_ cells. His body was probably making them right now. His body was breathing life into them and was slowly building a baby inside him – he was sure of it.

‘ _Häkkinen will just take it away from me! I can’t allow that. It’s mine and mine only, and therefore I should kill it so he won’t take it from me! I will carry that burden, since it’ll be my responsibility only._ ’

If he had been able to snuff out the flame of thousands of lives during his time as a count, then why would another life matter?

But … it would be a life he created and it would be killed inside him. The lives he had taken were people he did not know; people he had no attachment to at all. It had been easy to take a life when he had no affiliation to them, but this child would be a part of him. No one could be more intimately bound to him than it already was.

A whimper escaped from between his lips and he quickly raised a hand to his mouth and held his breath. Tears began to roll down his cheeks again and his heart ached horribly. He put the other hand around his belly, holding it gently – protectively.

‘ _I can’t do it!_ ’ he realized and his world began to crumble. ‘ _Orange… Where the hell are you? If you want to be my alpha, prove it by being here to support me!_ ’

The brunet had not visited him like he used to the past weeks. Orange had made his last visit a day after Slaine’s heat had disappeared and asked the same question he had asked during each visit since Slaine had been assigned to the vice admiral.

“ _Will you consider bonding with me instead?_ ”

His last visit had been excruciating and exhausting, since both of them had known that if the bars had not been there to separate them, they would have been glued to each other without a doubt.

Slaine had thought long and hard about what had happened during his heat period and realized something he found uncomfortable but impossible to deny; Orange – Inaho Kaizuka – was most likely his destined alpha.

His loins had burned differently than they had with any other alpha around; it had been stronger and more desperate – especially during the last day of the heat. His loins had even burned back when he had been on the suppressant drugs, and that heat had gotten hotter after each time he had come back from a fight with the brunet.

Their last fight – before they had fallen through the Earth’s atmosphere in their kataphrakts – had been nothing but a way for Slaine to release this unwelcomed frustration on the one who carried the fault to his burning loins. He had had nothing else to lose as he had already lost everything that day, having only his life left. To spend it wisely one last time, he had dashed out onto the battlefield to fight his enemy the moment he had seen Orange battling, and he had done so simply because he was attracted to him; he had not been able to keep his hands away from the cookie jar that had been Inaho Kaizuka.

Slaine suddenly released a quiet chuckle as he realized how stupid he had been back then. He had taken out the frustration of the heat on Harklight; had made him make a mess of him each time Slaine came back from a battle with Orange. His vassal had been asked to service Slaine during those times when the omega’s loins had begun to burn, simply because he longed for the brown-haired alpha and not because Slaine found a particularly sexual interest in Harklight.

All of this had not been understood back then; Slaine had not had any idea why he had behaved like that and had persistently thought about Asseylum as the mate he would never get. Now, however, he knew why he had used Harklight and why his loins had been licked by hellfire.

‘ _But even if he’s my fated mate, I still can’t just expose my neck to him; I can’t go down like that_ ,’ he stubbornly thought. ‘ _Häkkinen won’t hopefully give a damn about me if I’m pregnant and won’t come back here for a good while. At least I should make Orange’s job of taking care of me a hell a little longer. I can’t give myself to him just like that._ ’

He knew it was useless to fight it now that he knew who he should bond with, but it was not easy to give up his pride of being independent and strong. Even if he was an omega, he was still first and foremost the young man Slaine Troyard after all; the human Slaine Troyard. He had been through hell in the hands of alphas and he detested the entire alpha population for the crimes that had been done to him; he could not allow himself to belong to any alpha due to the fear of losing his own self in the norms that came with the bond.

Even if Orange was supposed to be his fated mate, Slaine had still – during his first day of this recent heat – reacted with fear due to Orange being an alpha; he had backed away from him with fear when he had woken up and found Orange next to his bed. To him, Orange had not been Orange and would probably never be that for a while; he was an alpha, and alphas were dangerous, his instincts told him.

‘ _What if he’ll just use me like everyone else?_ ’ the blond thought and sighed heavily. ‘ _What if he’s still a cold-hearted bastard despite he’s my fated mate? He shows little to no expression; can he even love anyone or show them love?_ ’

In the end, despite all the confusion he went through, he found comfort in the small words Orange had spoken to him during Slaine’s last day of the heat-period:

“ _We will make it work somehow._ ”

Those words had persistently rung in Slaine’s ears ever since the words had been spoken. They melted his heart and a warm and fuzzy feeling spread in the prisoner. The words were of such simple and intimate nature that they felt comforting; they spoke about two beings trying their best to make their life worthwhile – to find the little things that made even a difficult life close to perfect.

Slaine did not need everything to be easy; he had no need to live an easy life as he had already gone through a lot. He truly believed a little struggle would never hurt. Mistakes were not bad and there was always a solution to any difficulty that would emerge if he only got to think long and hard together with someone – even if relationships of any kind had been difficult for him throughout his entire life.

‘ _I can deal with all that as long as the one I love is willing to struggle with me, because if they are willing to do that then I know I have found someone who wants to face life with me and doesn’t dream of pure perfection or wishes to own me._ ’

If he were to face life on his own…

‘ _Look at how that went_ ,’ he thought and smiled wryly and curled up. ‘ _I put myself in prison and practically ended my own life like that. I threw myself away without a second thought. I really can’t do anything right on my own, can I?_ ’

It was not impossible that his upbringing and the time on board Cruhteo’s landing castle had done something bad to him as he had always felt lost. All the struggles he had gone through had probably warped him and made him destructive without him realizing it. Everything he had done had been in the name of Asseylum – the princess who was now an empress, and who Slaine still adored – but it had been nothing but destructive. It was a miracle she had forgiven him by letting him keep his life – even if it was to be spent in prison; where he was meant to stay for the rest of his life.

It was probably true that he had gotten a perverse attachment to Asseylum after all the kind things she had done to him in their past. He had been overwhelmed by her kindness as he had been starving for a connection to someone, and he had mistaken it to be the same as love for a fated mate. He had been blinded by that love and thought it had been everything he had left in this world – something he needed to fight for – and gone mad in the process. Now that the love he had felt for her turned out to be of a different nature than he had thought, he could stop ignoring what he had tried to ignore for all this time; someone else that he could have faith in and cling to.

‘ _Inaho Kaizuka…_ ’ he thought and sighed, burying his face against the pillow while thinking about the young man. ‘ _When will you get back? It’s a shame you’re not here now so I can tell you all this. I might change my mind about letting you know what I really think in a couple of minutes._ ’ He sighed again. ‘ _Idiot… It’s your fault if you miss this opportunity._ ’

αβΩ

“You,” he heard someone say at the door to his cell. “It’s time for the checkup.”

Slaine took a deep breath to wake up and rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to brush the sleepiness away. He had fallen asleep again after the guards had left him alone as he had requested when he had been given a choice earlier that morning.

He felt drowsy and heavy. It had been a restless sleep.

“Hurry up. We don’t have all day,” the guard then grumbled. Slaine looked up at him and saw him and two others wait impatiently for him, and the blond finally got up from bed and walked over to the cell door. “Put your hands through the opening,” the guard then ordered, and Slaine released a quiet sigh and held out his hands through the opening on the cell door. Handcuffs were strapped over his slender wrists. “No funny ideas now; we’ve had enough of them,” the guard then warned and unlocked the cell door.

Slaine stayed obedient as he had no energy to fight. The aggression he had felt had vanished along with his heat as it had slowly disappeared. All that remained now was a tired and worn out young man who felt shabby and downhearted.

‘ _Perhaps depressed is a more suitable word?_ ’ he wondered as he followed the guards down the corridor.

They came to a room which Slaine had not seen before. He had only stayed in the prison for a little more than five months now; he had never needed to visit any other facilities than the cell he lived in, the interrogation room he had broken a couple of weeks ago, and the shower room that he had flooded. This room was completely new to him, and it turned out to be some kind of an infirmary. A gynecological bed was placed in a corner and a normal examination table was placed against the wall to the bed’s left. A small desk stood against the opposite wall, next to which a young man with glasses and dressed in purple medical clothing was sitting.

“Troyard, I presume?” the man said and smiled. That smile confused the blond. Why would anyone smile to him? “Sit down on the bed and we’ll get to know each other a little before I make all the tests and examinations.”

It was a request rather than an order – or at least he made it feel that way when he said it with such a nice tone – but Slaine had no choice but to follow the guards who showed him to the gynecological bed and told him to sit down on it. For them, it was no request.

The supports for the legs and the guards on either side of him made Slaine feel nervous and distressed as he felt completely disarmed and vulnerable. His breathing changed from calm and tired to faster and deeper, and his body tensed up.

The man with glasses looked at the papers on the desk a little while, before he turned toward Slaine with that smile Slaine knew he had to grow used to. The other moved the chair closer to the prisoner to hold out his hand as if to properly present himself to the omega. Slaine dropped his gaze to the hand before he turned it up again and slowly and hesitantly reached out his cuffed right hand, and the man shook it with a friendly grip.

Slaine felt even more confused. The man was nice and had some kind of professional air to him he had never experienced before.

“My name is Robert, but you can just call me Rob,” he then said as he shook Slaine’s hand so that the chain on the steel cuffs jingled. “I’ll be your obstetrician from now on, so I hope we get along well.”

The prisoner was so confused he found no words to say and only stared at the man called Robert while in a daze. Robert seemed to feel somewhat awkward that Slaine did not answer him, and let go of the prisoner’s hand and then rolled over to the table again with the chair he sat on and waved with the papers he had been looking at before.

“I have all these papers here that are not filled. Apparently you’ve yet to go through a proper examination of your health status, so I have nothing to go on here. Will you help me fill it?” he asked kindly and looked at Slaine to wait for the omega’s answer, and Slaine finally nodded slowly. “Great! Okay,” Robert then said smiling and looked at the papers. “Could you state your full name for me?”

Slaine hesitated for a moment. The obstetrician should already know it by now, right?, but decided to comply quietly after a short while of silence:

“Slaine Saazbaum Troyard.”

“Date of birth?” the other asked while he checked the little data he already had.

“Eleventh of January, 1998.”

The obstetrician smiled as he wrote down the personal data Slaine gave him, and said:

“Just recently turned nineteen, eh?” When Slaine did not react but only stared at him, Robert cleared his throat and continued asking him about his data. “Relatives?”

“None,” the blond mumbled.

“No spouse?”

“No.”

The obstetrician continued asking him about his medical history and general health, and asked the blond about alcohol- and drug abuse. When he came to the questions relating to Slaine’s sex health and habits, the blond immediately lowered his head to hide his face behind the overgrown bangs.

“When did you get your first heat?” the obstetrician asked with that singsong voice, as if he had asked these kinds of questions many times before.

Even if they were routine and uncharged questions for him, Slaine found them severely upsetting to hear, and he felt stressed out since he knew the obstetrician expected him to answer them. He huddled up slightly where he sat and squeezed his hands together.

“W-when I was fourteen…” the prisoner mumbled, trying bravely to comply with the other’s questions.

“How long does it usually last?”

“Six to … seven days…”

“Any behavioral changes during that time?”

“I … get quite aggressive apparently…”

“That’s normal for some fertile omegas even if it’s more common for omegas to become submissive, so don’t worry; some become aggressive. When do you get your menstruation after the heats and how much do you bleed?”

Slaine hesitated at first and he knew the obstetrician noticed the shift in the air and watched him carefully.

“About … two weeks after and…”

The prisoner went silent. Slaine realized he could not properly remember how his heats and menstruation really behaved since he had not had a regular fertility cycle for nearly three years’ time due to the suppressants. Before the suppressants, the fertility cycles had been somewhat regular, but there had always been delays and other disturbances that made his heats and menstruation less regular than it should be. All the stress and distress he had gone through had meddled with his cycle ever since it had begun right after his first heat.

“I’m sorry,” he then mumbled. “I … don’t really know since I- … I haven’t had menstruation for a while.”

The obstetrician seemed to understand as he turned the page to skip through the remaining questions on the first page.

“I see. Then I think we should skip those questions for now and jump over to those you can answer,” he said still gently, but with a somewhat serious tone hiding behind that kind tone. “Have you been on contraceptives before? If yes, what kind?”

An ugly memory emerged in the blond’s mind as he remembered back to his first day of his first heat, when Cruhteo had decided a new fate to him than a servant’s and soldier’s.

“Y-yes. The pills,” Slaine mumbled and squeezed his hands tightly together again.

“Have you been on suppressants?” the obstetrician then asked, and Slaine nodded. “For how long and what kind?”

Slaine hesitated again when he heard Saazbaum’s voice speak in his mind as he remembered back to the day when his adoptive father had granted him the chance to get rid of his heats and the pills.

“Injection with long acting suppressants… I started taking them when … I was sixteen. I took the last one a couple of days before I was captured…” the omega mumbled barely audibly. “They stopped working … four months into my imprisonment.”

The obstetrician froze for a moment and stared at the paper as though he was shocked of what he heard the omega say. Perhaps taking suppressants as a sixteen year-old was not recommended because of the unknown changes it did to an undeveloped body? They were hormones after all, and that was probably why the obstetrician reacted, Slaine thought.

After a couple of seconds he heard the pen scrape against the paper again as the obstetrician woke up from shock, and then he got an uncomfortable question thrown his way:

“Have you been sexually abused?” Slaine stiffened entirely and he knew his body language gave his answer away. The obstetrician was quick to notice and continued gently: “When did this abuse start?”

Slaine writhed discreetly where he sat and chewed his lower lip. He could not answer. It was difficult to speak about it, since he had never told anyone about it before. What would he say? Would it matter if he said anything? It would just bring up bad memories if he decided to speak about them, so perhaps he should be quiet about it for his own sake?

“I’m sorry if I ask uncomfortable questions, but it’s quite important that I know – not only for filling out the medical record but so that I can adapt the care I’m going to give you,” the other said quietly with an apologetic tone.

“Answer him,” the guard to Slaine’s left ordered and the omega flinched from the sudden demand.

“Don’t speak to him like that,” the obstetrician scolded with a professional tone; he did not yell at the guard but he was stern with his words. “He’s in distress.”

The obstetrician moved a little closer, rolling toward Slaine while sitting on the chair, but the blond became frightened and immediately wanted to back away from him. The moment he made a move, however, he was grabbed by the guards who held him beneath his arms to hold him from struggling. The omega’s stress levels skyrocketed and he began breathing deeply and fast, completely unable to fight the guards because of the stress.

“For god’s sake, let him go,” the obstetrician sighed annoyed.

“He’s a dangerous prisoner. We can’t take any chances with him,” the guard to Slaine’s right said.

Slaine listened to the obstetrician and guards argue for a short moment, and it turned out the obstetrician had not much authority; the guards were the ones deciding how to handle Slaine; the distraught prisoner was held fast by his arms to make sure he would not attack the obstetrician, since that was the orders from the warden, he learned.

‘ _I’m just under great stress. I won’t attack him!_ ’ the omega desperately thought but did not voice it. It would not matter anyway.

The obstetrician sighed heavily to the guards’ stubbornness and rolled back to the desk with the papers, whispering his apologies to the prisoner before he continued with the clinical interview.

“Can you tell me why you were put on contraceptives then?” he asked Slaine with that serious but kind tone.

The prisoner was let go, and he felt his body begin trembling. He knew he had the chance to speak to someone about the trauma he had been through, but it was so difficult he could not seem to voice a word. Cruhteo’s grin and black-flared gaze burned in his memory, and the guards’ presence made this chance scary to take; he wished not to reveal too much intimate information about himself in front of them.

“I…” Slaine said quietly but stopped to hesitate. The obstetrician waited with patience, as if he had been through this before as well. Despite his young age, he seemed to be a pretty experienced obstetrician. “The pills … would assure I wouldn’t … g-get pregnant…”

“Why were you not supposed to get pregnant?” the other asked with the same tone as before.

Slaine pressed his lips together for a moment, collecting his courage before he answered:

“B-because they … would have forced me to … make an abortion.”

He could not muster himself to say anything else than that. He knew it was not much for the man to go on, but he hoped the obstetrician still understood that the pills and the sexual abuse were related to each other. If he understood that much, then he would be able to put two and two together and realize Slaine had been severely abused.

“I see,” the other answered quietly with seriousness in his tone, and wrote something down on the papers. “I understand it’s difficult for you to be asked these questions, and I won’t probe too much. I just need to make sure you are healthy, and I am here to give you whatever help you need to stay that way – even give you emotional support in these matters.” Slaine nodded in silence and the obstetrician looked at him for a moment before continuing: “Let that brood in your mind for now. Let’s continue with the questions, and if you feel that you get the opportunity to speak about what you’ve been through, then please do not hesitate to interrupt.” When the blond nodded again, he continued the interview: “Have you had itches or unusual discards from your birth canal recently? Any smell you don’t recognize or so?”

Slaine shook his head and the obstetrician kept asking all the remaining questions and then made sure all the data he got from Slaine had been filled correctly. After that he turned toward him again and asked him if he had had a pelvis examination done on him before.

Slaine had not gotten any kind of healthcare related to him being an omega during Cruhteo’s care, nor had he bothered to have himself checked when Saazbaum became involved with him. The only time Slaine had gotten any kind of treatment for his reproductive organs was when he had gotten STD’s after being forcefully taken during his heats. Since no one had bothered to use condoms with him – since why would they when Slaine had been nothing but a toy for them? – it was not surprising that he had been infected with treatable STD’s now and then. He had only been treated with medication, and that had been it before he had been put back to work.

“Since you have never done a pelvis exam before, I think it’s important to do one now since you might be waiting a child with your alpha,” the obstetrician explained carefully. “Would you undress your neither region and lie down on the bed and place your legs on the leg rests?”

‘ _He’s not my alpha…_ ’ Slaine thought but gathered a little courage to take his soft blue pants off and lie down onto the table.

This was uncomfortable. Frightening even. He was not a stranger to show his entire body to others; he had stopped caring about that a long time ago. It was the position he feared that the bed implied.

After he hesitantly raised his legs onto the leg rests as he was asked to, one of the guards suddenly took a hold of his wrists and raised them up above his head, and the other two took hold of his ankles to hold him still. The blond omega immediately felt vulnerable and in danger, since the position was nothing but threatening, and his breaths began to quicken and his pulse rose high enough his ears pulsated, and he was so terrified his voice disappeared entirely.

“Let go of him!” the obstetrician said with frustration. “He’s panicking. I can’t do a pelvis exam like that!”

“We told you he’s a category A prisoner. That means maximum security,” one of the guards said. “He might hit you or kick you out of nowhere.”

Slaine was becoming too terrified to even dare fight back like he otherwise would have done. All he could do was to breathe with panicked breaths and stare at the people around him to make sure they would not surprise him with attacks; he rather wanted to be prepared on whatever they would do to him than let it be an unpleasant surprise. Tears gathered in his eyes as flashes of memories began beating up his brain.

Hands touching him and holding him, meat plowing into him and teeth trying to mark him… Their ghosts became frighteningly real from the guards pinning him down like this, but he could not beg them to release him since he did not dare to. He just hoped it would all be over soon.

“I know, but it shouldn’t matter right now. Look at him!” the obstetrician scolded. “Since you are betas, I am sure you have no idea about what ordeal an omega might have gone through. This prisoner is a victim of severe abuse, so you should show him some respect at least! His behavior should be enough proof!”

“He has been nothing but a sly fox ever since he arrived to this prison. We won’t take any risks.”

“I need to talk to your superior about this matter since I can’t do any kind of exam with him like this. He’s too tense!”

They began arguing again, forgetting that Slaine was panicking. As the teary-eyed omega listened to them and while his mind spun out of control, he realized they would not get anywhere like this. Neither side would step down, nor would they understand each other; only he could stop them from quarrelling. He had to ensure everyone he would not fight or try to hurt anyone, and by that make this argument calm down, but he could not get a chance to speak in the middle of the obstetrician and guards disagreeing on how dangerous he was.

Frustration gripped his soul.

“PLEASE!” the prisoner finally yelled, and the others went silent and stared at him. He was trembling violently. “I-I’ll let you make the examination…” he then stammered. “Do w-whatever examination y-you need to, just do it quickly. “ He took a couple of quivering breaths before he continued: “Just l-let me go and I’ll … be cooperative. I just … can’t relax when you’re holding me like t-this. Please…”

The silence in the room was heavy from surprise of how pitiful the prisoner was. Slaine must have seemed incredibly pathetic, since the obstetrician stared at him with shocked pity while the guards seemed to be surprised as they realize how frightened he was. This was probably the first time during Slaine’s stay in this prison that he was this frightened and showed it this openly to anyone in here.

Thankfully, the guards decided to let him go. Slaine slowly lowered his arms and placed his hands on top of his chest, clutching his hands tightly like in a silent prayer, just like he had used to do when he had been pleasing the crowds on Castle Cruhteo. It felt as if he was back in those days even if his reason knew it was nothing like that.

“Thank you,” the obstetrician said to the guards and then looked at Slaine with a carefully studying glance before he sat down on his chair and put some medical gloves on and prepared the instruments. “Take deep breaths,” he then said gently with a smooth voice. “Everything looks fine this far. There’s nothing to worry about. Relax.”

“I-“ Slaine began but his voice was caught in his throat as he was still trying to calm down from the panic. He tried again: “I- I should be w-wounded down there. I b-began bleeding during the mating…”

“It looks healed so don’t worry. Scoot down a little toward me,” the obstetrician said kindly – not understanding the omega had tried to tell him he had been raped – and Slaine carefully did as he was told. “It’s been three weeks now, huh?” The obstetrician then asked, and Slaine nodded. “Are you looking forward to having a kid?”

Slaine’s mind blanked for a moment as he heard that last question. His thoughts swirled around his disarrayed mind while trying to find an explanation to why the obstetrician would ask him such a question, and he then realized that perhaps the man did not know the nature of the relationship between Slaine and the alpha he had mated with.

“It’s…” Slaine began confused. “It’s not like that… They’re just- … breeding me…”

The obstetrician stopped spreading a thick and transparent liquid on his gloved fingers and tried to fight back his shock for a moment before he let his expression turn serious.

“Is that why you got wounded before?” he asked and Slaine nodded. “I will put a finger in and feel around a little. Is that all right?” Slaine nodded again and was told to take a deep breath, and then a finger was pushed inside him and a gasp escaped from between his lips. “How much did you bleed?”

“He…” Slaine sighed and squeezed his hands together so hard his bones began aching. “He was quite rough.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the obstetrician said quietly and continued with the examination without saying a word more.

Throughout the entire examination, Slaine was silent and unmoving. Despite his heart was beating so hard it hammered in his ringing ears, he managed to hold himself together. The obstetrician was kind and understanding, and he was quick to register Slaine’s reactions and acknowledge them by acting accordingly. He had great patience, and, the longer the time went, the more Slaine dared to open up to him about his past.

In the end, the blond told the obstetrician everything there was to tell. It was not detailed, but he let him roughly know what Cruhteo had let happen to him and how he had managed to become the tyrant without anyone noticing that he was an omega. The obstetrician listened carefully and asked him additional questions, allowed Slaine to refuse answering if the question touched something that was too close for comfort, and helped Slaine develop unfinished thoughts.

What the prisoner did not speak about was his current situation. He refused to touch questions that had anything to do with Häkkinen or Orange, and the obstetrician left it at that after carefully trying and instead dealt him some bad news about his birth canal that had some severe scarring. Slaine barely heard what he said when he spoke about the complications this might have on the birth of a child, and the omega almost shut down after being promised some treatment.

When the pregnancy test was made and the results were shown, Slaine – to his dismay – learned that he was pregnant. His hunch had been true; he had been successfully impregnated by Häkkinen. That old man’s child was growing in him slowly and the knowledge of that made nausea well up in his throat. He felt sick. It was disgusting. Never had he felt more defeated than now that his body had been taken away from him like this.

“I … would like to return to my cell,” the blond omega demanded carefully, and his wish was granted.

After he was shown back to his cell while in a daze from the shock of getting his pregnancy confirmed, he curled up beneath his duvet and could not form any coherent thought at all. The shock was absolute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets worse and worse, huh?, and this is not the end of the downward spiral. (@_____@) Good thing is that I think I reached the bottom of that spiral in chapter 13 (made myself nauseous even), so it can only go up from there. *phew*


	7. The Untouched

“Haah…”

His gasps were the only noise heard in the apartment except for the noise from the television that was spewing nonsense into the air. The blinds were drawn shut, refusing light to enter through any window, and the entire apartment was uncharacteristically a mess: Bottles, clothes, used tissues and dirty dishes along with other rubbish lay on the floor and the furniture, and a musky smell lay heavy in the air.

The apartment was flat out disgusting, and the brown-haired young alpha mourned his condition where he sat on the couch with a hand moving inside his underwear, touching his sore flesh.

The truth had been unveiled four weeks ago that the prisoner locked up in the top secret facility was his fated mate. He had realized this after three days into the omega’s heat. He had had a hunch all this time, but it had never been as clear as it was now.

Inaho’s body had reacted violently – thrown every piece of self-discipline out the window and left him helplessly captivated by the sexual image of the blond prisoner who had flaunted his body in front of him and teased him mercilessly. At first, Inaho had been able to hold himself together, but the longer the time had gone the more desperate his mating instincts had become. Now, three weeks later, he was miserably trying to calm the heat that had attacked him, rubbing his dick raw. He needed a diversion to distract his mind from the heat to prevent whatever injury this frenetic masturbation could cause.

He wanted the omega. He wanted Slaine. That was all he had been able to think about for the past month ever since the blond young man’s heat had started. It had affected Inaho horribly once he had understood the imprisoned omega was his fated mate. It was as if he had gone into a heat as well, feeling a terrible lust to impregnate the other and mark him to calm the itching teeth in his mouth.

The jealousy toward Häkkinen getting to touch Slaine, and the hate toward the abuser Slaine was subjected to, burned in his mind. It angered him to the point his mind could blank out –surprising and frightening him how strong these impossible emotions were.

He had tried everything he could to stop the breeding program his higher-ups had decided on, but – because he was of such low rank due to him still being young – he had gotten no response as they had already made it absolute.

He had even wondered if he should speak to Seylum about this; let her know what the Terran alphas were doing to what remained of her dear boy and friend, but the fear of being caught by his superiors was too real; he was in the risk of being taken off duty and never see Slaine again if he stepped too much out of line. Before he could do anything, he had to mark the omega and make him his; Slaine would be protected by Inaho’s mark as it guaranteed he would only respond to Inaho and no one else.

He knew, though, that his work could not stop even if he waited for the young man’s decision. He had to keep fighting for Slaine.

But to think he had to even fight against his own instincts like this…

“Hnnggh!”

The hand moving around his cock came to a stop and a violent shudder ran through him as he released the seed into his hand. It made a burning sensation spread on the raw skin on the tip, and he gritted his teeth until the painful sensation had calmed down.

The orgasms had been intense throughout the weeks – so intense he had been exhausted after each time he had tried to relieve him of the heat, just like this time. He took a couple of deep breaths to collect his self but it was difficult with a mind filled with his fated mate, scattering his thoughts with images of the blond over and over again, never giving him time to properly think of anything.

Slaine’s beautiful countenance… His tropically sea colored eyes… The pale and soft-looking skin and his smooth movements, lusciously sculpted hips and slender frame… It all haunted his inner vision.

‘ _I found him. He’s right there…_ ’ he thought hazily and looked at his dirtied hand with a frown. It was sticky all over with a clear liquid; it had been like that for a while now, probably from masturbating frequently. ‘ _Now what do I do?_ ’ he then wondered and reached for the tissue box and found it was empty.

Instead, he sighed and walked to the bathroom to simply wash his hand as he had intended doing anyway after wiping away the discarded heat with a tissue.

The young alpha had been forced to take sick leave from work after he had been stricken by such a horrific heat after the last time he had met Slaine that nothing he did was productive. It was uncharacteristic of him; he had always been the one to keep his head cool and calmly dealt with whatever obstacle had come his way. Now, however, he was completely consumed by the heat, making it impossible to stay cool and calm even the tiniest bit unless there was a distraction great enough to overwhelm the heat.

Working had been impossible; he had lain on his desk all day the first few days when he had forced himself to work while thinking about Slaine with loins burning uncontrollably. Cleaning his apartment had been an unmanageable task as well; he was usually quite particular about keeping his minimalistic apartment tidied and in order, but that had not been possible ever since his mating instincts began pounding and beating his reasoning and self-discipline into nothing. This heat had made him realize he owned more things than he had thought; the apartment was cluttered with things.

He had been relieving himself of the heat ever since the last time he had seen the omega, and he was greatly confused by how easily Slaine made him lose his reason. Back on the beach a couple of months ago, that evening when they had crashed onto Earth, he had seen something that had piqued his interest the moment he had looked into the blond’s eyes. Somehow, he had known there was more to Slaine than he thought.

Now, it had been proven he had been right. A little whiff of the fertile omega’s pheromones had been enough to tell the brunet Slaine was his fated mate, and the whiff during Slaine’s last day of the heat – the whiff that had driven him to slam the bars and coax the omega closer but to no avail – had made him lose himself entirely. He had not foreseen this back on the beach, but now – after being subjected to the omega’s pheromones – he knew what he had seen in the blond back then; the blond was precious to him whether he liked it or not.

‘ _I have to collect myself. I can’t keep going like this_ ,’ he thought and leaned over the sink while supporting himself against his arms. ‘ _He’s too stubborn. All I can do is to wait and hope he chooses me in the end…_ ’

It was an agonizing thought. They had been fighting each other for a couple of years, and suddenly they were supposed to become fated mates. Inaho had not seen Slaine as an enemy and instead viewed him as someone he had been forced to fight because the former count and tyrant had been hell-bent on fighting both the world and the brunet. Inaho had fought him because Slaine had stood in his way, and Slaine had fought Inaho out of jealousy and the spitefulness that had followed an unconscious heat.

‘ _He’s the aggressive type when in heat_ ,’ the brunet concluded as he thought about it.

That must have been the reason to why Slaine had been so persistent in chasing Inaho and trying to kill him; Slaine must have subconsciously noticed they were a destined pair but not realized it, and gone into an aggressive heat the moment Inaho had been close by.

‘ _Seems like a dangerous mate…_ ’

The young alpha wondered if he should be worried. The blond seemed like a willful mate.

Whatever Slaine’s deal was to reject him, it had to wait for later. The brunet found cleaning his apartment a first priority now that his heat had been calmed for a while. He hoped it would disappear entirely as it had become difficult for him to function normally when his loins burned this hotly. Never had they been on fire like this, and it was all because of Slaine.

‘ _I hope I don’t have to result in taking suppressant drugs…_ ’ he thought with a sigh.

If it weren’t for the complications suppressant drugs for alphas could give, he would have taken the medication immediately when his heat began. Alphas generally never went into this kind of heat; normally – when influenced by an omega’s pheromones – they would go into frenzy until the omega was either removed from their presence or after the alphas got to act out their mating instincts. The heat Inaho was going through only assaulted an alpha when they found their fated mate, and it was more difficult to control the urge to mate with them once that happened than with other omegas.

Inaho was in incredible luck, though; it was unusual for fated mates to find each other and – mostly – people took mates even if they were not destined to be together. The two parties in the relationship with an arranged bond were not always compatible between omegas and alphas, nor were the relationships formed between omegas and betas, or alphas and betas, always successful.

The former group had difficulties since a bond between an omega and alpha was absolute whether or not they were fated mates. If such a relationship turned out to be a failure after the omega had accepted the alpha, they would still always be bonded with each other. This meant they had to be careful when deciding to bond with someone who was not their fated mate.

Even if these arranged bonds outside the realm of fate – or destiny if you like – were built on mutual feelings, the relationship was doomed to change over time no matter how much the respective parties loved each other. There was always a fated mate calling for those in an arranged bond, which intoxicated the relationship with feelings of dissonance that in turn needed copious amounts of energy from both parties to overcome and make their arranged bond work. Counseling was not unusual in these relationships.

‘ _But I have found my mate. If we form a bond, nothing can be more stable than us_ ,’ the brunet thought and wiped his hands dry on the towel hanging next to the sink.

To find a fated mate was a powerful thing once it happened and it was such a rare occurrence that the mates had to grab the chance before it disappeared. It had sounded like a fairytale, told to romanticize the bond between two beings to the point it sounded unreal.

Irresistible urges.

Profound connections.

Two hearts beating as one.

Lovers dying from broken hearts when the other mate passed away.

He had heard it being said many times throughout his short life that this was what fated mates meant to each other, but never had he believed the fairytale to be this intense and true.

It had incapacitated him entirely and forced him to be on sick leave because he wanted to mate with the omega he had found that it nearly drove him mad. He was fully ready to build a family with Slaine. Even if he tried to reason with his mind and decide to wait for a little while until they hopefully formed a bond, his instincts were running out of control, screaming at him to mate with the omega even if they had not bonded.

‘ _I just want to be with him. Feel him… Hear him… See him and feel his scent…_ ’

The brunet felt ridiculously heartbroken by the nonexistent bond between them, and that Slaine was still so cautious around Inaho that he refused to even consider forming a bond with the brunet. Slaine was terribly treated by Häkkinen, and Inaho knew he himself would never treat Slaine like that. He was jealous of the vice admiral. He even hated him for having touched his omega in such cruel and forbidden ways. Only the young alpha was supposed to be allowed to mate with the omega. Only he was allowed to touch him, kiss him, lick him, bite him, smell him, see him being messed up and taken by him.

Only Inaho was allowed to be his lover.

“Mmmh…!” the brunet groaned and nearly collapsed against the bathroom sink.

The toothbrush and mug clattered down into the sink from the impact of a heat that had flushed through his loins again. Each time he thought about the blond omega his thoughts ended in the sexual end of the spectrum, with a painfully hot wave coursing through him every time. Now his cock was rising once more.

He had lost count on how many times this had happened throughout the past weeks, and he was becoming exhausted.

‘ _This is no good… I have to take suppressants_ ,’ he concluded in defeat.

He disliked the effects of the medicine. To become sluggish and nearly braindead by taking the suppressant made for the alpha population was something he did not look forward to, but he feared he had no choice.

Out of nowhere, the doorbell rang and surprised him. Inaho felt both relieved and annoyed at being disturbed like this, but he pulled the bathrobe over his shoulders and closed it to hide his heat and walked over to look through the peep-hole on the door. He saw his sister waving back at him on the other side; she must have noticed his shadow in the small peep-hole.

Inaho sighed and decided to open the door. He had nothing to hide from Yuki and she knew he was not feeling well. Revealing his messy apartment and letting her see his condition was nothing to worry about. She was an alpha too, after all, and would show sympathy.

‘ _She’ll notice once I open the door_ ,’ the brunet thought and swung the door open.

“Hey, Nao! I was in the neighborhood and decided to buy some takeout food to you since I know you’re not feeling too we-“ She stopped immediately as the realization of what was going on hit her, and her eyes widened along with the neatly plucked eyebrows rising. “Here I thought you were sick, but it seems something else is going on, huh?”

“I will let you in, but I have to warn you the apartment have fallen into a mess,” Inaho said and watched his sister nod slowly and with shock.

He moved aside to let her in and she immediately took a closer look at the apartment. The brunet walked over to a window to open it and let in some fresh air, and then turned to look at his sister shaking her head with disbelief.

“I thought the moment you’d become sloppy with cleaning is when all hell freezes over,” she said and walked deeper into the apartment to stand closer to the open window. She skipped to the side once she noticed she was about to step on a crumpled tissue lying on the floor. “This is kinda’ disgusting, Nao. What’s happened?”

The brunet accepted the bag with takeaway food and walked into the kitchen to put it down on the kitchen table filled with used plates and glasses which he had not had any energy to wash.

“I found my true mate,” he said bluntly. He knew there was no reason to hide it; she probably knew it already based on his condition. “I’m dysfunctional from the heat that’s caused by their image.”

Yuki stared at him with surprise but then grinned once she found her thoughts.

“Then why the hell are you wasting your baby-making juice on tissues instead of pumping your mate full of it?” she teased with a childish chuckle. “Seriously, though,” she continued with a softer voice. “I’m really happy for you. That’s some rare stuff, you know? Finding your true mate is just as rare as finding a lost sock after laundry. What’s your mate’s name? How did you find each other? Spill me all the gossip!”

Inaho was certain Yuki would lose her composure completely once she learned her brother’s mate was the former enemy tyrant from the second Earth-Mars war. There was no way she would accept it and Inaho hesitated to tell her the identity of his mate. However, he also knew she would find out sooner or later if things kept spinning out of control like this, and this knowledge made him turn to look at her and prepare for an argument.

“I met him a long time ago but I didn’t realize he was my mate until he went into heat in my presence,” he said and took a deep breath while staring at his sister. “This might shock you, but the one who is my fated mate is Slaine Saazbaum Troyard.”

Yuki stared at him for a short while, not reacting at all. Then, as the seconds passed, her mouth dropped opened and her eyes widened to the point Inaho believed they would fall out of their sockets. She gaped for a while and stared at him with utter shock before she tried to form words. It took a whole lot to gather her processes to do that, and, once she did, she burst out saying:

“Excuse me. What?!” She shook her head, her black hair whipping the air around her. “But he’s a dead bad guy! I would have laughed at this joke if I hadn’t known you never tell jokes!”

“He’s not dead,” Inaho said. “What I will tell you is classified information, and I need you to keep it a secret and not tell anyone about this no matter how much you want to gossip.”

Inaho told her about Slaine’s secret imprisonment and what had happened once it had been discovered the former Versian tyrant was an omega. Just like many others, Yuki had a hard time believing that the charismatic and strong leader named Slaine Saazbaum Troyard was an omega. It was nearly impossible. No one had heard of an omega who had done an equally good – if not better – job as a leader than an alpha. Every tyrant in history had been an alpha, and now an omega challenged the idea about society’s hierarchy system.

Inaho had to ensure the facts to her by being persistent, and once Yuki had accepted it she wobbled over to the couch in the living room and slumped down in it and stared into empty space. Inaho followed her and began picking up the trash from the floor while he let her collect her thoughts and process the information he had given her.

“In other words,” she said quietly after a while with a monotone voice. “He’s imprisoned for life and has no chance to be pardoned. If he gets out of there, the entire world might learn about him still being alive. That’s dangerous,” she said and turned to look at Inaho, who threw used tissues he picked up from the floor into the trash bin. “Has he even gotten a trial according to the UE human rights?”

“No,” Inaho answered curtly. “He’s kept imprisoned because Seylum wanted to keep him alive. Perhaps she has some plans for him, perhaps not, but the problem is that she doesn’t know he’s an omega and that he’s being bred by UE.”

“Serves him right,” Yuki grumbled and folded her arms over her chest. “He should rot away in there and pay back for all the lives he took by creating as many new ones his body can.”

Inaho stopped tidying and looked up at her, feeling angry at his own sister for saying such terrible and inhumane things. When Yuki met his gaze she immediately knew she had stepped out of line with her gruesome comment.

“Troyard has done great crimes, I admit to that. However, a life is still a life, and his life if being destroyed as we speak,” Inaho said quietly and continued tidying. “When Seylum locked him up there, she wanted to keep him alive rather than let him end his own life like he wanted to, asking me to make his life worthwhile. That alone is cruel toward someone who has nothing else left except haunting thoughts that torment them. On top of that, he’s being raped and assaulted by strangers in a cold stone room, getting his integrity and autonomy offended, and is forced to give birth to children he’s not allowed to meet once they are born.” Yuki frowned with disgust and conflicting emotions, and Inaho stared at her and continued: “Will the dead be revenged by their killer being tortured? Will that kind of torture bring the dead back to life? If not, I think we should question what the meaning is behind the decision to torture another life like that.”

Yuki stared at him for a long time without saying a word. Inaho continued cleaning during the silence and let his sister process what he had said again without bothering to continue explaining anything until she was done with her thinking. He emptied the trash bin in silence and washed off the dirty dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, and continued cleaning the kitchen while the washer began humming.

After a while, Yuki emerged in the door opening.

“I guess you’re right,” she said and leaned against the doorframe. “It’s just that he’s been so cruel that people hate him enough it burns in their hearts – including mine.”

“Is that reason enough to torture him like that?” Inaho wondered without looking at her and kept cleaning the sink. “If an emotion can justify the means, then it wouldn’t differentiate you from a murderer who acts on hate or anger. There has to be some logic behind the justification of torture, and – as far as I know – there is no logic that allows someone to torture someone else because all life has rights. It’s called ethics and moral. Not even prisoners on death row are to be tortured no matter what crimes they have committed.”

He heard Yuki chuckle quietly.

“You’re always so rational,” she said. “You’re rarely swayed by an emotion.”

“I think it’s important to separate your inner life from your actions,” the brunet answered. “Troyard wasn’t able to do that and it explains why his reign was so short.”

Yuki released an exaggerated sigh.

“And now he’s your fated mate…” she mumbled and Inaho looked at her to see her rub her face with both hands. “Are you really sure about this?”

“Most definitely.”

“Then damn…” Yuki sighed heavily again and let her hands fall to her sides. “Have you bonded yet?”

“No,” Inaho said and leaned his back against the kitchen-sink. “Häkkinen has been decided to be his alpha and breed him. He has already mated with him throughout Troyard’s first heat period in prison. An obstetrician is examining Troyard as we speak, and the pregnancy test will be taken today as well.”

Yuki blinked and shook her head.

“Wait,” she said and collected her thoughts once more with a heavy frown. “You’re telling me the vice admiral of UFE is in on this too?!”

“Yes,” the brunet said bluntly. “He was chosen to bond with Troyard, but Troyard has been rejecting and fighting him; bonding has been impossible.”

“In other words,” Yuki continued and got an expression of disgust on her face. “The old man who sent us on a suicide mission has been fucking him to breed on him?” Inaho nodded and Yuki slumped against the doorframe. “How many know he’s alive?”

“Not many,” Inaho answered and stared his sister in the eyes with resolution filling his gaze: “I will try to bond with him behind Häkkinen’s back and take Troyard as my mate.”

Yuki’s eyebrows knitted together into a saddened expression and she walked up to her brother to take a hold of his shoulders and shake him lightly.

“But you can find another mate. You can’t build a family with a tyrant like that, and you can’t bring up your kids in a prison,” she said desperately.

Inaho understood her worry, but he did not agree with her.

“Troyard seems like a strong individual, but in reality he’s pathetic and sad. He’s suicidal and severely depressed, and I believe he has other mental disorders on top of all that, causing his depression to drive him to suicide,” Inaho said. “If I can save him just like Seylum told me to, then I want to bond with him and make things work. I want him as my mate, sis. Nothing will change that.”

“You pity him?” she asked quietly and relaxed her grip around his shoulders.

“I do,” Inaho answered. “I want to make it better for him if I can.”

Yuki smiled a wry smile.

“That’s not flattering, you know,” she said. “To take someone as your mate because you pity them. If you don’t love him, you shouldn’t insult him like that.”

“Flatter shouldn’t have anything to do with this, and I’m sure love will come at a later stage,” Inaho answered. “I already feel a connection to him that needs to be fulfilled.”

“And you can only fulfill that by bonding with him,” she said and summarized it all with the simple sentence.

Before she caught the moment to beg him to reconsider despite she knew it was impossible to change Inaho’s intentions, the phone rang in the living room. Inaho hurried to answer it, and the obstetrician said from the other end of the call:

“ _I’ve done an examination and tested him, and I have found some troubling and disturbing findings. I need to ask you, sir, to get here immediately if you can_.”

The ride to the prison was not the same as it usually was. Typically, the ride felt like nothing in particular – much like a task he needed to do before he could continue with other duties – but now Inaho thought of it as uncomfortable, as if he dreaded for what waited at the prison.

Yuki had insisted on driving him and asked to be allowed inside. Inaho had accepted her driving him there, but had suggested her to go home or do whatever errand she might have after dropping him off on the court yard. She protested for a while, but once Inaho explained to her she was unauthorized to enter the building she accepted it with a heavy sigh and went home.

He walked down the stony corridors with heavy steps, walking toward the infirmary and knocked on the door to wait for permission to open the door. He heard the obstetrician call for him to enter, and once he did the man waiting for him inside the room wore a troubled expression.

“I’m glad you came, sir,” the obstetrician said quietly with papers in front of him on the table. “I’ve been trying to finish the patient’s data but I can’t seem to concentrate at all.”

Something bad was drifting in the air. Inaho could sense it. Something heavy had been said in the room and it had crawled inside the walls to radiate an uncomfortable aura. He dreaded for what was to come as he this time had a feeling he could not face it with calm and rational thinking.

“The patient has been confirmed pregnant,” the obstetrician said with a tired expression on his face. “I just learned he has been forcefully inseminated. Is that true?”

Inaho frowned and lowered his gaze while his right hand closed and squeezed into a fist. Slaine was confirmed pregnant. The familiar jealousy and pity made his heart ache instantly.

“It is,” he answered with his usual tone of voice; calm and collected. He felt nothing like it, though. “It was an order from the higher-ups.”

The obstetrician sighed heavily, almost as if he was annoyed – perhaps even angry. What on earth had happened in this room?

“I figured it was something like that,” he said and looked up at Inaho with an expression that gossiped he had just recently begun to accept something horrible. “Do you know what that kid has been through in his early teenage years?”

“He hasn’t said much about his past,” the brunet answered and felt like he should brace himself for what was to come. “Has he spoken to you?”

The other man nodded and pulled his hands through his hair as if to calm his nerves.

“He has multiple scarring in his birth canal,” he said and Inaho felt his heart sting. “It’s the result of being severely raped for a long time. He told me some horrible stuff I couldn’t even imagine.” The obstetrician made a pause and shook his head with raised eyebrows from disbelief. A little bit of nausea showed on his paled face as well. “As an obstetrician, I have met a lot of patients with difficult pasts, but what he told me shook me up. I must say, it’s a miracle he’s still alive after all that.”

“Have the wounds been that severe?” the brunet wondered and met the obstetrician’s shocked look.

“Oh, I’m not talking about the physical wounds. Quite frankly, I’m shocked he hasn’t killed himself yet. Whatever made him continue living must have been some crazy motivational force in order to pull through something like that. You should have seen how he panicked earlier with the guards holding him down.”

‘ _So it is that bad…_ ’ the brunet thought and clenched his other hand into a fist as well.

“He has gone through severe trauma and it seems he has some psychological dysfunction as well. I would recommend letting a psychologist or psychiatrist take a look at him to give him proper treatment,” the obstetrician continued. “My main issue as an obstetrician is the scarring. Scar tissue reduces the elasticity of the birth canal. It disturbs the tissue’s reaction to hormones that are supposed to minimize the discomfort when giving birth. A prolonged second stage labor is not unusual in these cases, and it might lead to severe tearing of the birth canal and cause stillbirths or brain damage on the fetus.”

Inaho felt nauseous. Had Slaine been so cruelly treated his ability to give a natural birth had become compromised from all the scarring? And now he was cruelly treated again. No wonder the blond was so aggressive and seemed to have experience with being raped.

Inaho had thought of it as strange how much Slaine could relate to brutal treatment like the one he had gotten in this prison; he had seemed too calm about it despite his aggressiveness, and, determined by the way he spoke about such things, he seemed to be thick-skinned; he had been awfully collected after each time the vice admiral had paid him a visit.

“What about a cesarean?” he asked and watched the obstetrician shake his head.

“A C-section would be recommended for medical reasons, but I’m not sure what the higher-ups say about the matter since they seem to want him to give several births. A C-section leads to complications that might either heighten Troyard’s risk of dying or will complicate his future pregnancies,” he explained. “There’s a risk for bleeding or blood clots during surgery, and the uterus might rupture during future pregnancies because it’s been previously cut open. Even if the wound heals, the area might become fragile.”

“In other words, Troyard should go through a natural birth?” Inaho asked and watched the obstetrician nod.

“In the end, I believe he should be the one to choose, but – after what he’s told me – I doubt he has any rights to anything, not even his first time of giving birth,” the man sighed. “I told him all of this, but he just stared at me and nodded without a word. We have a lot of work to do with him, and I need to call everyone to a meeting and speak to the higher-ups about this. We need to coordinate all our efforts to give him the best care we can give in this prison.” Then, as if he remembered something, he continued: “By the way, sir: We need to do something about the guards. They’re interfering with my examinations by holding the patient down even if he’s perfectly calm. That stresses him out way too much,” the obstetrician continued and his shocked expression turned into frustration.

“Troyard is known for being ambivalent. He might seem calm for a moment but the next second he might attack you,” Inaho said and the obstetrician nodded with recognition.

“The guards told me the same thing over and over again. However, he needs to be given a chance to relax if you want to have him manageable. The more you corner him the more unstable and violent he will become. We humans are animals after all and I think it’s important not to forget that no matter what people say.” He sighed heavily with a frown before continuing: “You should have seen how frightened he was today when the guards held his limbs down when he was seated on the gynecological bed. He felt so exposed and vulnerable he was nothing but terrified and asked me to quickly finish my examinations. It was like he was more worried about the duration of the assault rather than what was done to him, as if he had already accepted to be treated cruelly and was more concerned about how long he had to endure it.”

Inaho’s heart stung from hearing all this. Slaine turned out to be a more pitiful creature than he had expected him to be, and he felt unusually empathetic. The strong Slaine Saazbaum Troyard had seemed to be as robust as a mountain during the war, but now he was nothing but a withering rose. It was obvious Slaine had never gotten a proper chance to live a healthy life. It did not come as a shock that he probably had a psychological disorder as well; something that was rooted in his past and had set the foundation to the person he had become when growing up.

‘ _Everything about him seems sad_ ,’ the brunet thought and decided to pay the prisoner a visit before he began arranging meetings with everyone involved.

When he stopped outside Slaine’s cell, he saw that the prisoner had gotten new and warm clothes, had a thicker mattress and had a proper duvet and pillow. He sat up in the corner and leaned his forehead against his knees that had been pulled up against his chest. The sweater – that was of the same blue color as his other prison clothes – was too big for him, which made him seem smaller than he actually was. He had rolled up the sleeves somewhat to shorten them and done the same thing with the trousers. The tips of his bare toes were visible beneath the large trousers, and Inaho wondered if the young man was freezing as he noticed his shoulders shake.

Then, after a moment of studying him, he heard a silent sob and realized Slaine was not freezing because of his bare feet; he was crying. Immediately, Inaho raised a hand to grip his uniform blazer over his chest.

It hurt.

“Troyard,” the brunet said and watched Slaine flinch; the blond man had apparently not registered his presence until now. “I have heard the news.”

Slaine did not look up at him and did not immediately answer either. Inaho waited patiently. He longed to see the blond man’s face even if it was stricken by tears.

“Where have you been…?” Slaine asked after a while with a quivering and angry voice. “It’s been three weeks.”

Inaho frowned as he was drenched in guilt.

“Things came up that I could not ignore,” the brunet said. He did not lie. “I didn’t know my presence was important here. You always tell me to leave you alone.”

A sorrowful scoff was heard from behind Slaine’s knees.

“So much for a fated mate, I guess,” he said silently but poisonously.

Inaho felt frustrated. Slaine always had his spikes out and guarded his heart and mind with incredible persistence – unlike his body, which he had probably given up on protecting a long time ago. He always had poisonous remarks and comments to throw at the brunet, and he never let his guard down around him.

However, Slaine had said something that made Inaho’s heartache lessen:

“So you admit it?” Inaho asked and looked at Slaine who did not react to his voice. “You admit we are fated mates?”

The blond prisoner chuckled silently. It was a sorrowful and scornful chuckle, and soon he turned his sharp eyes up toward Inaho and glared at him with daggers in his gaze.

“You were the one to bring that up,” he said coldly. An unpleasant shine glittered in Slaine’s glare. He was dangerous. “You were the one to suggest something as disgusting as that. Then you left and disappeared for three weeks without a word from you. Should that not be enough to prove that we are not fated mates?”

“That is far from the truth,” Inaho argued. He felt a need to clear the air between them. “My condition was heavily compromised by the revelation of you being my fated mate.”

Slaine scoffed.

“Liar. Why would I believe something as stupid as that?”

“Because I went into heat,” Inaho said as he decided to come clean. “I didn’t abandon you,” he continued and watched Slaine’s eyes widen somewhat from surprise. “I was confined in my own home because I went into a heat that made me dysfunctional for three weeks when thinking about you. I somehow managed to calm it earlier today.”

“An alpha … who goes into heat?” Slaine asked as he raised his head properly and stared at the brunet with confusion. “Don’t joke around!”

“I’m not,” Inaho persisted. “An alpha only goes into heat when they find their fated mate. I’m not sure if you know about it, but that is how fated mates work.”

Slaine kept staring at him for a while without saying a word. Perhaps he had gotten a little too much time and had begun to grow doubt in his heart.

Time had a tendency to do such things; anyone could doubt anything if only given enough time and distance to the object in question, may it be a thing, person or phenomenon. A forgetful person would become all the more anxious the farther away they got while trying to remember if they locked the door before they left, and lovers could become paranoid if too much time went between their kisses and hugs.

Slaine had begun to doubt if Inaho truly was his fated mate, because the brunet had been away for so long that Slaine felt abandoned by him.

‘ _How endearing_ ,’ the young man thought while looking at the pitiful creature on the other side of the bars. He wanted to reach out and grab him gently so he could hold him.

Slaine finally sighed and hid his face against his knees again.

“Whatever…” he mumbled. “You probably came here because of the obstetrician calling you to tell you I’m pregnant. Are you here to offer me your congratulations or condolences?”

“Which one do you prefer?” Inaho wondered and heard Slaine’s sorrowful chuckle:

“It doesn’t matter…”

In other words, Slaine did not expect anything from anyone. He had decided to suffer alone, or then thought he had no choice.

“Do you think it doesn’t matter because you believe no one will care?” Inaho asked and saw Slaine curl his toes to hide them beneath the wide openings of the trousers. The blond prisoner did not answer. “I know you have probably gone through a lot of horrible things in your past with no one showing you consideration or value, but know that I am here for you, and so is the obstetrician. It’s two people more than no one.”

Slaine peered at him from behind his bangs after raising his head just slightly. He looked like a cornered feline; aggressive and impulsive.

“So what? You want me to cry on your shoulder?” he asked with a poisonous hiss. “What good will that do?”

Inaho felt frustrated, but – like usual – it did not show on his face.

“Probably nothing to fix this situation,” he answered frankly. “But it could give you some strength to let someone carry your burdens together with you for a little while.”

Slaine raised his head to look at him with a harsh glare, clearly insulted by Inaho’s comment.

“You know nothing about my burdens or how heavy they are! Stop speaking pretty words, since that’s just insulting!” he yelled.

“The obstetrician told me about the scarring in your birth canal and where it comes from,” the brown-haired young man said to let Slaine know he knew the general truth about his burdens. Slaine’s harsh glare softened somewhat and began to morph into a frown. “You revealed in the beginning of your heat period that you had been used to keep the late Count Cruhteo’s crew happy. In other words, those scars come from his crew assaulting you, am I right?” Slaine’s angry and frowning expression changed into something that wore a hint of sorrow. “No one gave you comfort back then, so why won’t you try it now when someone is offering you a shoulder? Do you realize that you are the one isolating yourself right now?”

Again, Slaine did not answer. His expression turned into a mixture of anger and sorrow, and he hid his face behind his knees again and hugged his legs tighter.

“A cup of hot cocoa,” he mumbled. “If I get that, I feel comforted enough for today.”

‘ _Is that all you demand?_ ’ Inaho thought. He felt disappointed that was all Slaine asked for while he was ready to give him an embrace. ‘ _Perhaps he’s not ready to depend on someone because he has never had anyone else but Seylum to depend on? Everyone else has probably denied him attention when he needed it the most_.’

Slaine probably had no idea how to depend on someone to begin with, and a cup of hot cocoa was his way to ask for comfort.

“You want some whipped cream on top of it if we have any in the fridge?” Inaho asked, and Slaine gripped his trousers with his slender fingers and squeezed the fabric tightly while chuckling downheartedly:

“Sure…”

The brunet walked immediately to the personnel kitchen and heated some milk and mixed it with cocoa and sugar in a mug. Then he rummaged around in the fridge and was in luck as he found a can of whipped cream. He sprayed some over the hot cocoa and sprinkled cocoa powder on top of it to make it slightly more appetizing, before he left for the cell again. Once he arrived, he looked at the omega who was still hiding his face behind his knees in the corner.

“Do you still want hot cocoa?” Inaho asked and watched as Slaine raised his head to look up at him. His eyes told him he was exhausted. “I found some cream. Hurry up before the cream melts entirely,” he then urged and, with a heavy sigh, Slaine stood up from his cowering position and slowly walked over to the brunet.

The omega looked more tired than Inaho had seen him before. He had obviously been crying as his eyes were red and puffy. Heavy dark circles cast an unhealthy shadow beneath his eyes and his expression and body language were affected by depression. He moved slowly and heavily – sluggishly to be more precise – and his countenance looked heavy, like his entire body was weighed down by despair.

‘ _He has never looked this unhappy before_ ,’ he thought horrified as he reached the mug with hot cocoa to Slaine through the bars. The prisoner accepted it and brought it back to his corner in the cell, where he sat down in the same manner as before and held it with both hands. ‘ _He didn’t look like this even when he asked me to kill him and cried when he was first imprisoned._ ’

“Troyard,” Inaho began, but then gritted his teeth momentarily as he felt unsure if he should ask the question he had been brooding over, but then said: “Slaine… Have you considered what we spoke about last time?”

“Just leave me be,” the blond answered quietly. “I don’t want to think about such a big decision now that I have a baby born from rape growing inside me. I just can’t deal with anything else…”

Perhaps it was too early to ask him to decide. He had been told a horrific truth after all. It was just that Inaho wanted to help him – save him – so badly by bonding with him. He wanted to cool his own head from both the heat and the jealousy and sympathy he felt, but he also knew he had to wait for the blond to allow him to do just that.

‘ _My mate…_ ’ he thought and watched Slaine sip some of the hot cocoa. Did the blond even realize how beautiful and handsome he was? ‘ _My fated mate…_ ’

“It’s good…” the blond mumbled and then noticed the tip of his nose was covered with cream. He released a slightly amused huff through his nose at that, and – with a smile on his dry lips – he wiped the cream away with the sleeve of his sweater. “Thanks,” he then said without looking up at Inaho. “I feel a little spoiled by this.”

“You haven’t had hot cocoa before?” Inaho wondered and watched Slaine shake his head.

“Not for a long time,” he mumbled. “Vers didn’t have this kind of luxury and I starved myself in this prison before my heat period began, so I was never given the option to consume sweet things like this.”

How precious… How pitiful… How sad…

“I’m sorry,” the brunet said quietly. Slaine threw a glance at him when hearing Inaho apologize. “I’m sorry things turned out like this. I heard the dangers of giving birth with scar tissue in the birth canal, and was even enlightened of the dangers of cesarean. I believe I have failed you and the empress.”

Slaine drew in a sharp breath of air – like he was stabbed by something sharp – and held it before it seeped out of him in the form of a whimper. His body began trembling while his face contorted with grief and tears trickled down his cheeks. He dropped the mug with hot cocoa and spilled it over the mattress, and then he collapsed into a silent cry.

At last, Slaine Saazbaum Troyard had fallen to pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we got insight into what Inaho is thinking and feeling!


	8. The Stranger

The day had come to its end and Inaho was waiting for his sister to pick him up at the prison after calling her. When he exited the building, a heavy feeling made his breaths short and uncomfortable. He felt like his shoulders were weighed down by heavy buckets of lead as he left the grieving omega in the building behind him, unable to comfort him as he had been harshly rejected by Slaine.

He had stood outside Slaine’s cell and watched the prisoner cry against his hands and seen him pull at his hair. His tears had not stopped and the overwhelmed blond had slowly rocked his tired body back and forth, probably in a desperate attempt to alleviate the emotional pain. The emotion had seemed bigger than his body; Slaine had been bursting – rupturing slowly from the grief.

The painful situation the omega was in had stolen his voice at first; his cries had been silent as the grief had been so powerful it had taken his ability to voice it away – until Inaho had asked again him to be allowed to help him. That had sparked a ruthless and animalistic scream to erupt from the blond’s throat out of nowhere, and Slaine had screamed louder than anyone Inaho could remember screaming. He had screamed to be left alone, over and over again until his voice crackled, obviously fearing the brunet’s presence.

It had been the first time he had seen anyone in this kind of erratic condition; never had he believed fear, sorrow and powerlessness could take on such a raw and physical form that they had manifested in Slaine. He had seen Slaine argue and yell angry words at the personnel and him during his months in the prison, but Inaho had never seen him scream with tears running down his cheeks in this way before, with colossal emotions mixing into a complicated mess that kicked up a storm outside their vessel.

It had burst out of him in the form of a scream to protect himself – like a wild and frightened beast roaring as it had gotten its realm invaded – and Inaho had acted accordingly and backed away to give the other enough room to calm down. Once the brunet’s presence had become less invading, the beast had calmed down from the fear that had aggravated it and the prisoner had fallen back into silent and painful grief, crying voicelessly.

‘ _How frustrating is it?_ ’ the brunet wondered and stared at the road ahead in the early winter’s wind. ‘ _To want to cry but not have a voice to cry with…_ ’ It was like feeling humored but being unable to laugh, or be exhausted but not being able to rest. ‘ _He can’t satisfy his needs anymore,_ ’ he continued thinking and felt uneasiness wash over him. ‘ _Even his emotional needs are neglected by him, and I can’t seem to do anything about it_.’

A red car became visible and drove carefully over the dirt road that led up to the court yard where Inaho stood waiting. The trees and bushes around him had shed their leaves a long time ago, which made Yuki’s approaching vehicle perfectly visible from afar. Inaho could not wait to get inside the warm car. The evening was terribly chilly.

The young alpha knew what his sister thought about the matter of him being mates with the former tyrant that had cast Earth and Mars into turmoil unlike any other. She would have a disapproving attitude for a long time, and she would probably not accept the truth until Slaine carried Inaho’s child.

A heat wave suddenly flushed through his loins and he gritted his teeth and took a deep breath of the cold air to calm his body that suddenly screamed at him to turn around and return to his omega’s side. His omega… His future child… The child his omega would carry…

‘ _Slaine…_ ’

As Yuki drove up to him and stopped the car, Inaho shook his head to clear his mind before getting inside the vehicle. He sunk into the soft leather seat next to Yuki and took a deep breath after strapping the seatbelt on. Somehow, he felt terribly exhausted.

“You okay?” he heard his sister ask and Inaho decided to be honest with her.

“I thought the heat had subsided,” he said and relaxed his blazing body. “I managed to stay calm in front of him and thought the heat had passed, but it flared up again just now.”

Yuki stared at him for a short while before turning the car around and began driving toward the city again. If only Slaine knew what a peaceful suburban area he was in. It would have been a perfect environment to raise children; there were lots of trees and fields where only small roads connected the area to the urban city a couple of kilometers away. Barely any cars were seen here and the nature was just around the corner with berries growing in the forests in the summer and mushrooms popping up from the ground during fall. Deer and other gentle animals were hinted at times in the bushes, and the early mornings were filled with birdsong all year round while either morning dew or snow covered the ground.

How much of this did Slaine enjoy in the confinement?

‘ _None…_ ’ the brown-haired alpha thought and frowned. ‘ _I doubt he even hears the birds all the way to his cell_.’

“Other than that, how did it go?” Yuki asked and turned left in an intersection.

Inaho sighed, his loins burning.

“He broke down entirely today,” the brunet answered and stared absentmindedly at the scenery before him while the image of the grieving Slaine haunted his inner vision. “He blamed me for not being there the past three weeks and then asked for a cup of hot cocoa. Then he cried and screamed until he couldn’t even form words.”

Yuki became silent for a while and Inaho decided not to say a word either. They both understood in different sense that Slaine was going through a crisis that would make even the strongest individual collapse emotionally.

Inaho was unsure what Yuki actually thought about the situation both Inaho and Slaine was in. How much value did she put in the prisoner and how did her limited knowledge of the situation influence Inaho’s reality? If she could not accept Slaine as Inaho’s fated mate, experience told him it would affect Inaho’s access to support.

‘ _I don’t want to fight this battle alone. I’m tired of fighting on my own_ ,’ he thought and remembered back to the moment when he and Yuki had argued about Inaho’s involvement with the war on board Deucalion a while back, right before their last mission before Slaine Saazbaum Troyard fell.

Back then, she had told him she wished she had never allowed Inaho to become a soldier and she had asked him to not fight anymore. The boy had been forced to turn on his heel and leave the argument as she had not accepted his reasoning when he had laid it out for her.

“Sis,” he said as they drove into the city. “I won’t ask you to like him, but don’t see him as an enemy anymore. He’s been made harmless and won’t cause the world any more trouble.”

“It’s easy for you to say,” Yuki answered and turned on the turn signal to let the surrounding cars know she was turning right. “He’s not called a tyrant for nothing, you know. Remember that Nazi dude half a century ago? Troyard’s no different from him. He murdered a lot of omegas and we’re on the brink of an economic and social crisis partially because of that. Not enough alphas or omegas are born to carry on the system of our society. On top of that, he murdered millions of people simply because they were Terrans in an insane attempt to wipe us all out. That’s called genocide.”

“That’s not entirely correct,” Inaho said. “His main objective was to get Earth’s resources, not to murder its people. We were the ones who forced him into such decisions. You can’t expect an army commander to be sympathetic to the enemy that’s fighting back.”

“We were protecting our independency! And his targets _were_ civilians,” Yuki argued. “No matter how you look at it, he played a foul game. We didn’t attack the Versian civilians.”

“That’s because we couldn’t get all the way to Vers in order to do that. Had we had the power to, we would have murdered their civilians as well,” Inaho said and saw a sign that welcomed homeless to come and eat warm soup and bread for free. The population of homeless has dramatically increased ever since the war ended. “Don’t pick a convenient truth. In war, both sides are ruthless.”

“But still!” Yuki said with a louder voice, as if she had gotten agitated. “You can’t take him as your mate. And if you will, you can’t ask me to empathize with him, since all I see is a bloodthirsty lunatic no matter how harmless he’s become.”

“You can stop here,” Inaho said as his patience had been exhausted.

“But it’s a long way from your home,” Yuki said and looked surprised.

“I can take the public transport from here,” the brunet answered and refused to look at his sister.

She must have noticed he was disappointed in her for her lack of support. Again, he wanted to turn his back to her and leave the conversation. However, it turned out difficult in a moving car.

“No, I won’t let you walk away from an argument again,” his sister said like a true alpha.

“We won’t gain anything from continuing this conversation. We’re both strongminded alphas,” the other replied with his usual quiet tone that never changed even when he was angry.

“So we’re doomed to never coming to an agreement? I won’t accept that,” Yuki said angrily and turned left and followed the straight road ahead.

“You know I won’t let him disappear from me,” Inaho said and turned to look at her to show her how sincere he was. “I’ll take him as my mate no matter what you say.”

Yuki sighed a loud and exaggerated sigh while throwing her head back for a second, before looking ahead again.

“You’re so tenacious it bugs the hell out of me at times,” she grumbled and Inaho was quick to point out:

“That’s because you’re so inflexible as well. I told you; we’re both alpha. We have strong wills, and strong wills will always clash.”

“Oh you damn know-it-all…” his sister muttered cynically and continued driving in silence.

When she stopped the car outside Inaho’s apartment complex she followed him up to his apartment despite he had rejected her presence. She would not let this conversation die until she had gotten a satisfying end to it. The moment they entered the apartment and Inaho closed and locked the door behind them, she walked into the living room and slumped down onto the couch and waited for him to do the same. As Inaho stopped next to the couch – refusing to sit down – she stood up as well and sighed:

“All right. Tell me what made you change your mind about him,” she said somewhat defeated.

At least she was trying to make an effort to understand Inaho’s situation.

“His intention to die,” the brunet answered bluntly and saw his sister’s mouth drop open for a moment. He figured he had to explain things some more. “That night on the beach when we crashed onto Earth, he looked contented and asked me to shoot him in the head with a gesture. In other words, he put no value in himself as a living creature. I got a strange feeling seeing all this that I shouldn’t harm him,” he explained.

“So, you felt sorry for him?” Yuki asked after thinking for a while.

“No, I didn’t change my mind because I pitied him,” he corrected her. “I changed my mind because I knew something was important with him the moment I saw him properly in the eyes. I didn’t know it back then that he was my fated mate, but I knew something was different with him and that I couldn’t let him die.”

“You think he was aware that if the world learned he was an omega, he would be bred?” Yuki asked, and Inaho frowned.

“I’m not sure because he is surprisingly complicated,” he answered and took a deep breath to continue: “I have made visits once a week to keep him company and offer a break in the tedious life he was dealt as a prisoner simply because Seylum asked me to look out for him, but I learned quite quickly he carried a heavy baggage of undeveloped thoughts and emotions, and they’re all founded on poor upbringing and the lack of care. I think he has no tools to handle life; he’s been fighting for many years and he doesn’t seem to be able to stop fighting. Perhaps he wanted to die because he was tired and wanted to be free from the constant fighting, or then he couldn’t face the consequences of his crimes and thought my bullet would be a fitting end.”

Yuki got a sour frown on her face and pulled slender fingers through her black mane while sighing in defeat.

“All right,” she said and sat down in the couch again. “I guess you learned about his sad past and all that today, and instead of losing interest now that you’ve solved the great mystery surrounding the tyrant Troyard, you are obsessed in him because you discovered he’s your fated mate?”

“You can’t deny the fact that he is my fated mate considering my reaction to him,” Inaho pushed. “All I think about is mating with him and marking him as my mate. I want to mindlessly put a child in him.”

At that, Yuki’s sour expression turned into disbelief from hearing the outrageous things her brother said. Inaho was never mindless. He always had a thought behind everything he did and calculated the options he had at hand. This time, however, Slaine as an omega had made him completely unable to bother about thinking at all. He simply wanted to mark Slaine because he truly perceived him as his mate and no one else’s.

Yuki could not help to voice her disapproval once again:

“I have to be honest and say I haven’t felt like that ever in my life as I haven’t met my fated mate, and I do sympathize with you. However, no matter how I look at it, you’re blinded by the heat and not thinking straight at all. If you have survived without your fated mate thus far without difficulties, I believe you can survive without them in the future as well. Think, Nao. He’s a war criminal!”

‘ _Why won’t you understand?_ ’ the brunet thought frustrated and said:

“It’s not so easy. Try to imagine how I feel knowing someone else has impregnated my mate and is raping them right before my eyes while I’m not allowed to do anything to stop it and mate with him myself. That’s the animalistic part of me.” Yuki frowned and grumbled beneath her breath, but let her brother continue: “The human part of me feels like I’m letting him down. The alpha whose child he’s carrying won’t hold him or care for him. He won’t be there for him and nor will he give him strength to go through this pregnancy and survive it. You know a male omega has a higher risk for lethal complications while giving birth.”

Yuki stared at him with sorrow for a while. She acknowledged his emotions while still disagreeing with his choices. She knew Inaho would refuse to listen to her.

“Nao…”

“Don’t tell me to forget about him,” Inaho said curtly before she had time to continue. ‘ _It’ll hurt…_ ’ he thought. “If this turns out to be a mistake, then let me learn my lesson. For once, show me support. You don’t have to help me, but if this turns out to be a wrong decision of mine, then be there for me. I rarely base my choices on emotions, so I need all the support I can get when I make the biggest decision in my life that is grounded on blind passion. Give me that luxury.”

He seemed to have struck an unpleasant chord as she seemed to understand what he was saying. She had been a clumsy caregiver throughout their lives, but Inaho did not blame her for her parental mistakes as she had not been a mother from the start; she had been his sister. Besides, they had both been young at the time with no experience to functionally answer to all of life’s aspects. Now, however, as they both were grownups and should know better than children did, he wanted her to be supportive because she was all he had as a family.

“I will go through with this no matter what,” he continued to push on. “That means I won’t consider your feelings.”

“You never do,” she sighed and leaned forward to bury her face in her hands. “All right,” she then said and stood up again while looking defeated. “Let me in on this job of yours. I want to see this omega you speak of and keep an eye on him.”

“That’s not possible,” Inaho protested quietly. “He being alive is the most confidential information on Earth and the knowledge of his imprisonment is strictly guarded.”

“So?” Yuki asked and looked up at him with a glare. “The prison warden recruits people from somewhere, don’t they? Talk to them and ask if there’s an opening. The moment there is, you put in a good word for me and let me in on this top-secret secret of yours.”

So, this was her condition? Inaho stared back at her for a while as he pondered on what to do, and then decided it would make things much easier if his sister got to know his fated mate. He was sure Yuki’s motherly heart would change her opinion about the omega the moment she got to see his pitiful state. Somewhere, deep inside his mind, in a place that had not been deluded by his instincts, he agreed with her in a sense. Slaine was as a tyrant similar to the tyrant during the Second World War, but, yet, he was completely different as well. Inaho did not know him yet, but he had a feeling Slaine would turn out to be a person capable of love and care, and this he wanted to prove to his sister – and perhaps even himself?

‘ _I’m bias in his favor because he’s my fated mate, I’m keenly aware of that_ ,’ he thought and nodded to his sister. ‘ _But Seylum’s request is based on something; she wants him to live for a reason only she knows, and I wonder what that might be; she knows something about him I don’t._ ’

αβΩ

A week had passed since Orange had made his visit after three weeks of absence. Now he was absent once more and the exhausted omega wondered where he had gone to. Had something happened? It felt ridiculous to worry about the young alpha, but he could not help it. Slaine’s mind had been occupied with thoughts of what Orange had told him and promised him, and it served as a somewhat desperate way to cope with his overwhelming situation. Thinking, thinking, thinking was all he could do.

He lay huddled on the mattress in his cell with a blue knitted poncho around his shoulders and the duvet over him to protect him from the cold. The tag on the poncho – the same kind of tag he had on the other clothes – was marked with the UE logo, telling him UE owned the clothes he wore. By wearing them, he also felt like the tags were marking him as well as UE’s property, but he had no choice but to wrap himself in them and accept the tags: Ever since he had gotten the devastating news of him being pregnant his tendency to freeze had increased. Was it because of his mental health, or was it because of the pregnancy? He had no idea; he knew nothing of how pregnancies worked and what to expect.

A deep breath escaped his lips as he tried to relax enough to get some sleep. He snuggled his face against the pillow and began to feel warm. It was silent around him – just like always – and, for once, he wished to have a radio or something on in the background to keep him company. He felt awfully lonely.

He had moments earlier come back from his second appointment with a psychologist. The air around the stranger had been sterile; the beta was a man who had worked perhaps a little too long in this field since he seemed so professional he had not bothered to speak about anything else than what he should as a psychologist – making him feel like a robot. Slaine did not like him, and had naturally been quiet during the entire session. The beta had urged him to speak about what was on his mind in the beginning, but Slaine had only stared at the floor in front of him and shown no interest in talking about his worries and fears, past, future and present.

The psychologist had shown great patience, though; he had waited and waited for the entire hour for Slaine to say something, giving the already powerless omega a sense of control. Slaine had been the one to decide what would happen in that room and the psychologist had accepted that it would be on the blond’s conditions.

But…

‘ _I don’t like him_ ,’ he thought and felt his cold nose begin warming up where he lay beneath the soft duvet. ‘ _I won’t open up to anyone unless I really trust them, and even then I can’t guarantee I’ll be telling the truth._ ’

His obstetrician was the only one who he could think of speaking to since the man had been a kind person. Slaine had not met many people like him in his life – barely anyone like him – and served as a breath of fresh air in this tedious prison. It gave him something to work with: How would he adapt to that kind of personality? It felt much like a game in the sense that he did not need to take the outcome of it seriously; it merely served as a tool to escape the boredom and emotional pain. He was allowed to test out his own concepts of what people were now that he had met someone he had not met before.

‘ _He’s laid back and seems fun_ ,’ he thought and smiled shyly. ‘ _And he seems to genuinely care about me._ ’

Just as he had found a peaceful place in his mind, steps echoed in the corridor outside and Slaine opened his eyes to raise his gaze to the bars and see who was approaching. He got a bad feeling from the sound of the steps. He had heard these steps before, and he had a hunch he did not like the one they belonged to.

To his horror, his chosen alpha appeared from behind the concrete wall and turned his cold eyes to look at Slaine where he lay hidden beneath the warm duvet. The omega froze completely and stared at him with fear. His body began trembling immediately and his breaths became shallow.

He was terrified.

Two guards appeared behind the vice admiral, and one of them unlocked the cell door so the man could step inside the omega’s cage.

“Call us when you are done, sir,” one of the guards said and locked the door, and Slaine understood the alpha was there to abuse him again.

‘ _Please…_ ’ he thought petrified. He wanted to get up and run, but his aggression had disappeared completely after he had been brutally defeated by the man standing in his cell. ‘ _Don’t go…_ ’ he desperately thought as the guards disappeared and left them alone in the cell.

The alpha said nothing as he walked up to Slaine with determined steps. The omega curled up like a frightened cat and held his knitted poncho tightly closed at the open front. He stared at the alpha’s shiny shoes without lifting his gaze to look at the man and waited while he trembled with fear.

He had become so pitiful after the chaotic week of forceful mating that he had lost his ability to fight and argue. His pride and confidence had crumbled entirely and he was nothing but passive and fearful of the alpha staring at him now. No matter how much he hated the thought, he felt the vice admiral had won their battle by putting a life in the omega’s womb. It was a humiliating loss for the prisoner who had not even his body to fight for anymore.

Without a word, the vice admiral pulled the duvet off him and Slaine closed his eyes tightly and tensed up. He lay still from terror, unable to even stop the man from taking a hold of his shoulder and push him onto his back to get a better look at him. Slaine gripped the poncho tighter and kept his eyes tightly shut. A scoff attacked his ears and soon the presence of the alpha came closer as he hovered above the prisoner; he could feel the disgusting body warmth radiate from the other.

The man was watching him carefully, probably inspecting the pregnant omega to enjoy the result of his work from weeks ago. Slaine was sure his pheromones told the alpha he was carrying his child, since the blond prisoner had noticed his own scent had changed recently. He smelled softly sweet and made even the betas calm around him.

A hand suddenly pushed against his belly. It felt warm but disgusting as it caressed his belly over the womb, and Slaine held his breath and prayed the man would not harm him anymore now that he was carrying his child.

How wrong he was…

‘ _Help me!_ ’ he thought as he heard an ominous, deep breath somewhere close by, and soon rough hands took a hold of his sweatpants and pulled them off. ‘ _He’ll rape me! Someone…!_ ’

Why? Why did the vice admiral behave this aggressively with him? Was it because he was drunk with power? Was it because he knew Slaine was someone else’s fated mate and therefore did not bother to respect him? Was it because he was resenting him?

‘ _Why?_ ’

Without a word, the vice admiral spread Slaine’s legs and raised them, and the blond released a frightened gasp and squeezed the poncho tight enough his fingers ached and kept his eyes closed. He feared to look at the alpha. He wished to never see his face again.

The vice admiral released a heated grunt and pushed Slaine’s sweater up to reveal his belly, and then his hardened meat pushed against the prisoner’s opening and entered him without preparing him.

It hurt. It felt painful, but Slaine dared not to scream or cry. All he could do was to keep his eyes closed and let the alpha finish the thrusting so he could be left alone sooner, and with as little injuries as possible. He found safety in the poncho around his shoulders while he felt the familiar bouncing rhythm of an assaulter as the cruel alpha began moving his hips and moaning from pleasure. Slaine was sure the vice admiral had his eyes fixed on his naked stomach, which made this situation even more disgusting than it would have been had he not stared at where his unborn child was growing.

‘ _Why do you abuse the mother to your child?_ ’ Slaine wondered while trying to suffocate his gasps as the alpha’s thrust became deeper and harder. It burned and made the omega fear he would be ripped open by the meat plowing in him. ‘ _How cruel can you be?_ ’

In a sense, Slaine missed his heat now that the vice admiral had decided to keep abusing him. Back then, it had felt good even if the blond had been resisting the alpha mounting him. Now, however, it was painful and felt just like a rape should. He felt invaded, paralyzed, terrified, insulted and reduced into nothing but a warm pile of pleasuring flesh for the alpha to use. His integrity had been stolen and so was his autonomy. He did not exist in this world. He did not belong anywhere. Why would the alpha care about him? He might as well have been a doll and nothing more.

‘ _Don’t bother_ ,’ he told himself and turned his face away as he felt the moist breath of the alpha against his cheeks. ‘ _I should stop caring about verifying my existence now that I’m reduced to this_ ,’ he thought and felt tears gather in his eyes while the alpha rocked his body. ‘ _This is my worth now. Don’t bother to find any other value; I’m not allowed to exist in this body._ ’

He had to begin enduring this kind of situation. He had to give up or else it would only keep hurting, and he was done with the pain. It was impossible to take it for much longer. It was impossible to keep fighting. He was simply too exhausted to go on fighting and arguing.

‘ _Just like on Castle Cruhteo_ ,’ he thought and suffocated a whimper.

Once the alpha had emptied his seed into him and the knot had dissipated, Slaine held his breath and lay completely still while keeping his eyes tightly closed until the vice admiral disappeared without a word. The man’s coldness confirmed Slaine’s form of existence even more; he was not even worthy to be spoken to.

When he was left alone and he was sure no one would see or hear him, he opened his eyes and relaxed, releasing his breath while shivering, tears streaming down his temples and cheeks. With a weakened body, he turned to his side again and curled up and released the poncho to ease his tender fingers that had clutched it hard enough during the rape they had turned stiff. He took a deep breath and stared at the cell door, and then broke down into a silent cry.

‘ _This is hell_ ,’ he thought and bit his lower lip to hold back yet another whimper. ‘ _I want to shower…_ ’

As he had finished crying, he pushed his exhausted body up from the mattress and pulled his sweatpants on, and then carefully walked to the bars and looked out into the corridor. The vice admiral’s semen was leaking out of him the moment he stood up, and he grimaced from the disgusting feeling.

“Excuse me,” he said with a trembling voice. “I want to shower.”

Harsh steps came closer from the end of the corridor. They were steps he had not heard before and seemed to belong to a woman. The first thing he noticed with this new person was their long and black hair. It had been tied in a ponytail behind the woman’s neck. A youthful face wore the strict and cold expression of a trained soldier and the amber eyes watched him without blinking. On her hip an alarm device swayed from a black leather belt, telling him she was one of the crew in this prison.

‘ _Someone new?_ ’ Slaine wondered and took a step back from the bars as he felt intimidated.

The woman stopped in front of the cell and stared at him – glared even. It was obvious she did not like him and Slaine got the feeling she had pretty strict thoughts and feelings about him. Then, he felt the scent of her and a cold shiver ran down his spine, making the omega take several steps back.

‘ _An alpha!_ ’ he thought horrified and clutched the knitted poncho again as if begging for it to comfort him and hide him from her gaze.

“Slaine Saazbaum Troyard,” she said with a hiss and narrowed her eyes. Slaine took another step back from her. “I barely recognize you in those clothes.” Slaine stayed quiet and only stared at her. She looked at him from top to bottom and back up again, as if inspecting him thoroughly, and the omega felt an urgent need to hide. “You wanted to shower?” she then asked coldly.

Slaine could not answer her at all. He was back to his frightened state from before he became a count and feared her because she was an alpha. All sorts of thoughts ran through his mind of why she was here and what kind of job she had been assigned. Would she rape him? Was she here to break him down emotionally? Was she here to put bruises on him while handling him? Was she here to revenge someone she had lost?

Why was she here?

As the prisoner had decided to stay silent the woman ordered two guards to assist her by calling them through the radio hanging from her breast pocket. Slaine was used to having guards accompany him everywhere, but now that an alpha was here he wished not to shower at all.

“You reek of mating,” she then said as she unlocked the cell door and the two guards stepped inside.

Slaine backed away immediately. He would not let her or the guards rape him in the showers. Whenever an alpha was involved, his experience told him he would be abused. Even if he had decided to give up fighting the vice admiral, he wished not to share his pregnant body with anyone else because he thought one abuser was enough, and he did not trust them to treat him gently enough to not harm the child.

Paranoia was a dear friend of his, keeping him safe by making him fear and mistrust everyone around him.

The competitive nature between alphas could be ruthless; he had seen a jealous alpha abuse another alpha’s child out of the body of an omega. Miscarriages caused by trauma were not uncommon in a world where the authorities – in this case the nobility that owned the land in Vers on which the population lived – did not interfere too much in the unwritten laws amongst the citizen. Even if the previous emperor had forbidden systematic abuse on the omega population, the discrimination and oppression on the omega population had still been widespread. Alphas should never be allowed to fight for the right of omegas alone since they did not care at all, according to Saline; the alpha population was the sole reason to why omegas were still abused even in this time and age.

“Come on,” one of the guards said and the trio waited for him to step closer so they could put the handcuffs on him.

“I…” he said trembling, and took hold of the sweater’s hem with both hands. “I don’t think I-“

“You wanted to shower, you said,” the alpha said commandingly. “Then come on.”

If he kept on refusing, he suspected them to take a hold of him anyway and drag him to the showers. Then whatever the guards had in mind would happen anyway. Perhaps it was best to comply with their order and go with them without arguing?

Hesitantly, he stepped up to the guard dangling the handcuffs in one hand and held out his wrists and let the cold metal be locked onto them. The cuffs had a long chain to give him less restricted movements in order to shower. Without uttering a single word or making any other kind of noise, he followed them to the shower.

“Hurry up,” the female alpha said as one of the guards unlocked the cuff on Slaine’s right hand to let him strip.

Slaine threw a glance at her and hesitated before he began undressing with a heart racing from stress.

He avoided any form of eye contact and stepped beneath the shower once the cuff had been locked around his wrist again. The water poured softly over him once he turned the faucet on.

The entire shower room had been redone after the water damage he had caused not too long ago and it had a new feel to it. New tiles had been put up on the walls and on the floor, and the ceiling had been repainted. Even a new shower had been installed. It would have been pleasant to shower had the alpha not been there; he listened intently at every movement and noise the others did while keeping his back turned toward them to give himself as much privacy as possible; he could not relax at all. He could feel the alpha’s gaze burn against his back throughout the entire time, and he wondered what she thought.

‘ _This is disgusting_ ,’ he thought and washed the soap out of his hair. It smelled just like standard soap – a scent he had grown used to and found comfort in. ‘ _Stop staring at me!_ ’

As he was done and had dried off and dressed, he was shown back into his cell. Two of the guards left immediately but the alpha stayed. Slaine hurried to sit down in the corner of the mattress and leaned against the wall with the duvet around him, pulled his knees up against his chest and hugged them tightly while listening to the alpha’s movements.

“You,” she said and Slaine tensed up. “Look at me.” The blond dared not to raise his head and comply with her order, and hugged his knees tighter instead. “I said: look at me.”

“Why…?” he asked quietly.

He felt just like an animal in a cage with nowhere to hide.

“Because I say so,” the alpha answered strictly.

‘ _I don’t know whose order I must listen to_ ,’ he thought and decided to lift his head slowly and look at her. They were all ordering him, but he knew he did not need to obey all of them. It was difficult to make out who was less dangerous, though, but he thought it would be safest to obey everyone who was an alpha – except for Orange.

She stared at him for a long time without blinking and Slaine had to lower his gaze after just a couple of seconds of eye contact with her. She seemed to study him closely, as if she was trying to determine something and, after a while, she frowned as she probably came to some kind of conclusion, and said:

“So you really are an omega.”

Slaine felt nauseous as his heart began racing. He could also feel his pulse rise high enough to feel it pounding in his gums between the teeth.

“I’m not available…” he said with a barely audible voice. “You shouldn’t consider touching me; the vice admiral might get furious at you.”

“To be honest, I’m not interested in touching you. A tyrant like you doesn’t interest me like that,” she answered and tilted her head slightly. A strand of her black hair glistened in the light mounted to the ceiling above her. “What does, however, is how you did it. How did you become so successful?”

Slaine stared at her dumbfounded and let her words sink in before he was reminded that he had months earlier been a strong leader in an interplanetary war. Somehow, he had forgotten about that in the middle of all the chaos surrounding him in this confinement. Now that he thought about it, he felt confused of how he had succeeded as well, but then remembered:

“A lot of determination, a little bit of luck and some insanity, and you can do whatever you wish to do,” he answered quietly and took a deep breath.

“And now you’re reduced to this,” she said and her frown deepened somewhat. She seemed confused. “You’re pregnant, right?”

Immediately, tears threatened to fall but he held them back by sheer willpower and nodded.

“Y-yes, ma’am… I am,” he said trembling and feared to hear her say this was his way of paying back for everything bad he had done.

“And how does that feel?”

He was not sure what she meant by that. Was it a patronizing question or just a question of pure curiosity? There was no answer to that, he concluded quite quickly, and instead shook his head and lowered his gaze to stare at her shiny shoes. They were standard army boots.

“You hate it?” she asked instead, and the blond prisoner nodded and raised a hand to brush fingers through his wet hair and pull it back from his face.

“Of course I do…” he mumbled. “I’m being bred against my will…”

The alpha kept on staring at him through the bars and, soon, Slaine took the liberty of hiding his face against his knees again to hide from her prying gaze.

“I guess that’s kind of hard on you,” she then finally said. “I’m sorry for what you’re being put through.”

Slaine looked up at her with shock and stared at her, disbelieving of what he had just heard her say. Had she expressed sympathy? No other alpha had done that in his entire life except Asseylum and Orange. Sure, it had not been entirely genuine considering the stale tone to her voice, but perhaps she was trying to reach out a hand of some kind – or at least a pinky to show she was not like the other alphas he had met throughout his life.

Without another word, she turned on her heel and left, and Slaine was left alone in the silent cell once again – this time a little more confused than when he had woken up in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now Yuki's role has been established! At first I was a little "Hm... Should I give her a part at all?" because I really don't want this to become "another AFWE", but try as I might I couldn't help it as I thought of it as impossible for Inaho and Slaine to have any form of future together without her knowing; she's Inaho's sister after all and her not being involved wouldn't be logical at all. Instead, I try to make her role, position and relationship to Slaine different. I hope you look forward to getting to know her, too.
> 
> [Edit]: I'm quite shocked (and strangely happy?) how people react to her from this chapter. I'm satisfied Yuki managed to provoke strong feelings, but what shocks me is that she too is human with a difficult past and has her own issues, but she's expected to be a strong and confident person who can put her issues and personal grudges aside in a - for her - chaotic moment (even if that would have probably been the right thing to do). Inaho's the strong and confident one, not her. I did NOT want to make her into a sympathetic mom/sis initially the first moment she meets Slaine, because I believe raw humanity isn't always compatible with the ideal morality we try to live up to (especially in a complex situation), and I wanted to touch this subject in her character. For good or bad, at least it stirred some (major?) feelings in people. However, because she IS human, her character won't be static throughout the rest of the fic (as some might believe?), and I hope this fic's readers has this in mind; I LOVE to play with inter- and intrapersonal development. Let the next chapter spread some calm! (hopefully)... o___o [Edit End]


	9. The Waiting One

_“I heard it last night from the chief mate: He’s an omega.”_

_“What?! Are you serious?”_

_He got a feeling he had to hurry, and hastened his steps. Despite that, he could hear the words of those speaking about him drift to his ears in the hollow corridor while eyes burned against his neck._

_“Yeah. Apparently he’s a fallen omega.”_

_“Him? But he’s not even fifteen yet, is he?”_

_“Who cares? He had his first heat two weeks ago and I heard he feels amazing. I can’t wait for the next heat in a couple of months.”_

‘Stop!’ _the blond omega thought with gritted teeth and hurried down the corridor. The corner was just a couple of meters ahead of him, and he could not wait to walk around it so he could begin running and hide in his room._ ‘Please, God. I don’t want to have another heat! I don’t want to be an omega!’

_The moment he got to the corner, he immediately spurred his steps into a run with panicked thoughts, but as he took a couple of steps and before he could see what was in front of him, he bumped into someone. The blond immediately knew, determined by the huff of the other as Slaine accidentally dashed into him and knocked him back, that this someone was the one he wanted to see the least. He had avoided him ever since the omega had learned of his position in this Landing Castle, always taking detours and turning on his heel if he saw him coming down the corridor._

_“T-Trillram!” Slaine exclaimed with shock and took a step back while staring at the alpha’s annoyed expression._

_“Watch where you’re going, you damned brat!” Trillram spat angrily and glared at the omega in his usual manner of a high-class citizen – a baron to be precise and nine years Slaine’s senior._

_“Forgive me, Sir Trillram,” the pitiful blond squeaked as he feared the anger in the man’s eyes and body, and took another step back from the young baron. “It wasn’t my intention to disturb you. I shall hurry out of your way,” he continued and hoped the other would not decide to get busy with him; Trillram was a horrible bully, always making sure Slaine knew how little he was worth by talking down on him and abusing him. He had done this ever since the blond had been taken under Count Cruhteo’s wing, abusing the child even before he had set foot on board this Landing Castle._

‘Does he know I’m an omega?’ _Slaine thought and lowered his head to give the young man a bow before he would hurry down the corridor and hide as soon as he could._

_He got his answer just a breath later, as Trillram said with a demeaning sneer:_

_“So how was your first heat? I heard you had the honor of entertaining nearly half of the entire bunch of officers on board.”_

_Slaine’s mind blanked and his breaths stilled. What would he answer? If he spoke even a single word about that dreadful week, he would start crying uncontrollably as the thoughts and feelings he had after that were nothing but chaotic._

_“I…” he began with a gasp, his body frozen._

_Trillram took a step forward toward him and loomed over him. Slaine dared not to look up at him and squeezed his arms around his own body like in a desperate attempt to protect himself from the other’s possible abuse. And the anger… Everyone on board was so angry with him and he did not understand why. It seemed to have something to do with him being a Terran omega, but he could still not see a reason for it; he had tried to stay out of people’s way best he could, and he was sure he had not bothered anyone, but they still showed him anger; a feeling he feared in others since childhood. On top of that, the young baron’s smell was conditioned with hits and kicks, poisonous words and horrible truths about the young omega’s situation. No matter what Slaine wanted, his wishes of being allowed to breathe just a little would never be heard in this Landing Castle as no one cared about ‘animals’ like him, and Trillram made sure to remind him now and then._

_“You what?” Trillram asked. His voice sounded like he still smiled that snake-like sneer. “You enjoyed it a lot I heard, especially the last day of your heat.”_

_That was not true! The alpha’s mockery stung like angry needles in the blond’s heart and brought tears to his eyes. That week had been horrible. It had been a pure nightmare. It had hurt in both body and soul. That week, Slaine had been helplessly pulled along by the smell of alphas and gotten his thoughts and reason jumbled up, made him desperate to calm the intense heat he had experienced and been unable to fight or resist those who had forced themselves on him. With their hands everywhere on him, he had barely gotten chances to eat properly during the week as he had been kept too busy by the alphas and betas that had demanded satisfaction. Weakness had consumed him and made him into a helpless victim, and he had moaned and cried in a daze, unable to differentiate left from right and right and wrong at the end of the days._

_“I regret I missed that,” Trillram suddenly purred, and the young omega threw a spooked look at him. Slaine had a feeling he knew what the alpha was going to do. “Why not demonstrate what you did during your first heat?” he then asked and reached a hand to grab the omega, who inhaled a sharp breath and jumped out of his reach to prepare running away._

_The bell on the choker around his neck jingled happily as he moved so suddenly, and he heard Trillram laugh amused before a ruthless hand grabbed him by his uniform collar and held him from running away. Slaine froze instead and stood in the alpha’s grip and waited on trembling legs, worried of what the other would do._

_“Now, now,” the baron chuckled behind him with a slithering tone to his voice. His words licked the omega’s ears and sent an uncomfortable shiver down his spine. Then, he forced Slaine to turn around and look at him. “I have this excruciating curiosity nagging at me to find out what an omega feels like; just like most of those who have already taken you, I have never gotten the pleasure of sticking my meat into an omega. Creatures like you are rare, you know?”_

_Rare… Oh, how Slaine wished not to be a rarity. Besides, why was he as a rarity treated like this? He had always learned to protect things that were rare, like locking away silver and gold, diamonds and precious artefacts behind something strong or hide them from plain sight. Yet he was entirely unprotected and had even a bell around his neck to prevent him from hiding._

‘Why?’ _he wondered and whimpered from seeing the determination in Trillram’s eyes to not let the omega run away._

_“P-please…” he whispered and sniveled. “I’m not in h-heat yet.”_

_“Oh,” Trillram said with pretended realization, mocking the blond even more. “Well, I doubt that hole of yours is unusable right now anyway.”_

_There was nothing the omega could do when the determined alpha forced him along down the corridor, and Slaine stumbled now and then as Trillram guided him by his collar in a rough manner, not daring to resist the other wholeheartedly. He was taken to his own room and pushed his back up against the wall once he was released by the alpha who went to close the door, and dreaded to look the alpha watching him in the eyes._

_“Undress,” the other ordered, and when Slaine hesitated the alpha said louder: “Undress, omega! Do not make me repeat myself!”_

_The boy could not bear the man’s anger – he never could – and he decided not to disobey. He was so afraid of angry people he would rather do as they said, as he could not handle the large emotion. With tears running down his cheeks, Slaine nodded. The trembling and weak fingers opened the buttons and zippers, and then he stepped out of the boots and uniform and knitted his hands together in front of his genitalia to hide the most sensitive body part once he stood stark naked before the observing alpha cornering him. The air was slightly cold against his naked skin._

_There were no dark flames in Trillram’s eyes as there were no omega pheromones drifting in the air. Even so, the alpha was determined to use him to waste some spare time and get enjoyment and pleasure out of it. Slaine would have rather preferred him to hit and kick him like he used to do; letting the abusive alpha inside his body was terrifying._

_Trillram then suddenly walked up to him, startling the young omega, and Slaine was forcefully turned around toward the wall by strong hands gripping his shoulders. The baron’s uniform rustled and something warm and semi-hard rubbed between Slaine’s buttocks. The blond breathed with careful and shallow breaths that trembled as he felt how this object slowly hardened while Trillram released pleased gasps and breaths in the meantime. Something sticky soon wetted the omega’s fleshy bud. Slaine raised his hands to support his body against the wall in front of him while the alpha prepared to push into him, and released a pathetic whimper and gave up. He could not run. He could not resist him._

‘I don’t dare to,’ _he thought and finally felt Trillram push into him._

_“HAAGH!” he cried out as the hard object was forced inside him. His body was too tight to accept it just like that; it was nothing like during the heat. This time, it hurt. “P-please stop!” he begged. “It hurts!”_

_Trillram gave him no other kind of answer but a slap over his head, and Slaine understood he had to bear it unless he wanted to face the other’s anger. If he did, he knew he would be ruthlessly taken._

_Once the alpha had pushed into the tormented omega one last time and pumped his semen into him, he lingered there until the knot had disappeared. While they waited, he whispered into Slaine’s ear:_

_“You take contraceptive pills, right?” The trembling boy froze and the alpha snickered pleased. “What will you do if I take them away from you?”_

_Immediately, Slaine panicked. Count Cruhteo had made sure to let Slaine know he did not want the omega to be pregnant. No offspring between a Martian and a Terran was allowed to come into existence since that would be nothing but an abomination. These had been the counts own words. What would happen to Slaine if he got pregnant if Trillram took his contraceptives away?_

‘He’ll force me to kill it? Will he kill me?’ _Slaine thought horrified._

_“P-please… Don’t do that, sir,” he whispered with tears and snot running down his face. “Please…! C-Count Cruhteo will get rid of it for me and… Please, just don’t!”_

_Trillram went silent for a little while – like he was surprised by something – but then licked Slaine’s ear and whispered:_

_“No. I think I want to see Count Cruhteo’s reaction when you tell him you have gotten pregnant.”_

_Slaine felt himself crumble and he wanted to collapse onto his knees, but he was forcefully held upright by the cock inside him and the disgusting warm body pinning him against the wall._

_“Please!” he cried out in utter fear for his life. “The count will kill me! I- I don’t want to die!”_

_“No, you despicable little omega,” Trillram purred in his ear. “I want you to have all my abortions.”_

_Right before Slaine was about to panic and scream his heart out from horrific terror the baron chuckled and pulled out of him. While the other corrected the disheveled clothes, Slaine slid down onto the floor and cried with deep gasps while his entire being trembled. He thought he would suffocate from this terrible emotion he had never felt before._

_“Idiot!” Trillram suddenly exclaimed with a demeaning laugh of a bully. “You don’t know how an omega’s fertility cycle works? You’re not in heat, so you won’t get pregnant from this time only; it’s extremely difficult for an omega to get pregnant outside their heats. You can keep your damn pills.”_

_Slaine looked up at him with shock and watched the alpha leave his room with a hearty laugh bubbling up from the man’s throat. The boy stayed on the floor, shocked and hurt from both the mental and physical abuse. When the door closed behind Trillram Slaine relaxed now that he was finally alone in his own room. Something disgusting trickled out of him and when he looked between his legs he saw blood and a milky liquid on the floor._

_Had his body been torn?_

‘Asseylum…’ _he thought and saw the image of the beautiful girl in his inner vision. Again, he broke down into a cry and leaned forward over the floor, doubled over with arms around his stomach._ ‘I want to see you. God, I want to see you so bad!’

_He missed her horribly; he thought his heart would blow._

_The blood continued coming; first in small trickles, but then a horrible ache began to stab his belly, and a small stream of blood poured out of him. The pain – unlike any other – began to increase and the omega panicked. Why was there so much blood? Was he dying?!_

_‘_ I don’t want to die! _’ he thought horrified and finally released a groan when the pain stabbed him hard enough his vision blacked out for a second._

_“Princess Asseylum!” he cried out and cursed his fate with a howl._

“Time to wake up, Troyard,” he heard someone say, disturbing him in his sleep.

Slaine opened his eyes with a start and realized he was tense from the nightmare. With a deep breath, he closed his eyes again and relaxed against the mattress, completely buried beneath the duvet. Why did the guards insist on waking him up like this, eight o’clock in the morning, when there was nothing to wake up to?

“Eat some breakfast and then you can go back to sleep for a couple of minutes again.”

It was the new voice from yesterday; the voice of the female alpha who had suddenly shown up out of nowhere and unannounced. This time, her voice sounded somewhat gentler than the day before, even if it was barely any different; it sounded slightly more careful, just the way people sounded when they were trying to wake someone up from sleep. He opened his eyes and looked out from beneath the duvet out of curiosity and found the cell still cast in darkness. Only a weak light from further down the corridor tried to reach its rays into Slaine’s cell. He appreciated the lights being left off; the other guards usually turned them on to force the omega out of sleep.

The prisoner took a deep breath and saw the silhouette of the unnamed alpha on the other side of the bars, and he slowly pushed himself up but held the duvet closed to protect himself from the chilly air. The temperature was always just a little colder than would have been comfortable; his skin prickled each time he was forced up from his pathetic bed in the mornings.

“You’ve got an appointment with your obstetrician at nine o’clock today,” the alpha then reminded him and sat down on a chair and unfolded a magazine turned against the light, to detach herself from their interaction.

Slaine stared at her static figure for a while before crawling up from the mattress on the floor and walked over to the new table he had gotten a couple of days ago after being confirmed pregnant. On it, a small tray rested with two sandwiches and a bowl of scrambled eggs, tea and orange juice. It was a standard breakfast in every other aspect except for the scrambled eggs.

It was a long time ago he had had some eggs for breakfast, and he felt a tiny bit hungrier now that something new was served on the breakfast tray, piquing his taste buds’ curiosity.

Gently – in order to not make a sound – he took the tray back to his bed on the floor and placed it on the mattress, pulled the duvet over his shoulders to stay warm, and began eating. His appetite would have been slightly bigger had he had a magazine to browse through as well, or have something to focus on instead of the wall opposite of him.

‘ _I guess I’m not worthy of a simple magazine either…_ ’ he thought and blew on the hot eggs to cool them before eating. They were recently made. ‘ _Nothing but four walls, a table and a mattress…_ ’

This place would have been easier to live in if there had been something to spend his time on. After all, he would never get out of here, so he would have appreciated something that made his life in here somewhat worthwhile. Without stimulation, his brain would wither and he would become apathetic. He was already feeling the effects after five months; his mind was slowly being separated from his body after all the dullness and abuse. What would five years do with him? Ten years? Twenty?

‘ _How long will I be able to survive in here like this?_ ’ he wondered. ‘ _It would be a warped blessing to die once I give birth, like my mother. That way, I don’t need to deal with this void anymore_.’

Waiting… That was all he could do. What a frustrating thing it was to wait.

‘ _Wait for what?_ ’ he asked himself. It felt like an eternity to wait for death since it felt so far away. As he realized this, he smiled a sorrowful smile and dropped the fork holding a bite of the scrambled eggs. The fork bounced against the edge of the bowl and ended up on the floor next to him. Slaine did not react at first; he stared at the bowl in his hand without seeing it as tears obscured his vision. ‘ _Why do I think like this every morning I wake up?_ ’

It was a pattern he had developed without realizing it until now. Each morning was filled with melancholy reflections about his situation. Every morning, he woke up to wonder how many days he had left in this prison before he was allowed to be free, and he would also wonder how he would be freed; by death or being pardoned.

“What happened?” the alpha asked, hearing the fork hit the floor, and Slaine raised his gaze and looked at her peering at him where he hid in his dim corner. “Are you all right?”

‘ _All right…?_ ’ Slaine repeated in his mind. He had not heard that from anyone else in this prison except from Orange.

“Y-yeah,” he mumbled and tried to hide his trembling voice. “I just … dropped the fork.”

He wiped his tears against the cuffs of his sweater and dried his nose before picking up the fork from the floor.

“I’ll get you a new one. Wait a minute,” she said and disappeared.

Hurriedly, Slaine got up to get some paper from his lavatory in the corner of the cell to blow his nose and dry his eyelashes before the alpha would return with a new fork. He would feel humiliated if she saw him crying.

“Here you go. Give me the other one,” she said once she returned and stood by the bars, waiting for him to walk over to her.

As Slaine obeyed, he averted his eyes and gave the fork to her and took the new one without showing his face to her, and pulled back into the darkness to sit down on his bed again. He could feel her gaze on him, which made him insecure of what to do and how to behave. He barely dared to eat and silently wished for her to read her magazine again.

“You,” she said suddenly. Slaine froze. “You’re the silent type, aren’t you?” Slaine kept his eyes locked on the bowl with scrambled eggs and held his breath. “You were quite talkative before the war ended – at least in your broadcasts. Aggressive even,” she continued. “Was it all an act? Is this the real you?”

Slaine released his breath to silently sigh and closed his eyes and hung his head.

“There’s not much to say…” he mumbled. “I think I have spoken enough.”

“That’s quite a melancholy thing to say,” the alpha said and turned her chair to face him properly.

‘ _Don’t look at me. Don’t interact with me; I can’t bear it_ ,’ he thought and squeezed the duvet with weak fingers.

“Because you’re not at war?” she asked and Slaine lowered his head further – ashamed of what he had done now that he was confronted. “Is war the only thing you can speak of? What about your thoughts and emotions? Do you know how to put them into words?”

The omega shook his head.

“Those things don’t matter…”

“Of course they do,” the guard said with a voice that scolded him. “Do you intend to waste your time on waiting in silence? For what?”

“My time stands still,” Slaine said and curled up while losing his appetite. “I’ve even stopped being restless in here, and thus have nothing to say. All I can do is wait.”

The guard stared at him in silence for a while before giving him space by giving up talking to him, and released a sigh.

“I see…” she mumbled and raised her magazine again and continued reading without uttering another word to the prisoner.

Slaine found it a relief; he could not bear her seeing him break down.

The blond battled his inexistent appetite for a while as he figured he should get some food into his stomach now that he was not only eating for his own sake. The eggs had gone cold and the edges of the sandwiches had begun to dry when he finally managed to finish the breakfast. He put the tray back onto the table and then lay down again to hide beneath the duvet – where it was dark and warm; a place where he found comfort.

As he lay there he wondered what the obstetrician appointment would be about. He had not met him for four days and somehow felt eager to see the man while he also feared the appointment itself. What would he learn about his situation this time?

His stomach began to feel bad out of nowhere and he curled up as nausea began boiling. He took a couple of deep gasps to try calming it down, but it just made things worse. By changing position he hoped his stomach would feel better, but – in the end – he felt something push in his throat and he dashed up from the mattress and ran over to the toilet seat in the corner to vomit. Everything he had eaten moments earlier washed up with the disgusting fluid, and he continued vomiting until his stomach was emptied and only gastric acid pushed up and burned his mouth and throat.

“Jesus!” the alpha exclaimed and stood up from her seat in shock. “Are you all right?”

‘ _All right...?_ ’ he thought again as he heard the precious question a second time, and this time a strange relief washed over him as he collapsed onto his knees next to the toilet. Her words rang kindly in his mind, telling him she somehow cared about him enough to bother asking how he felt. It did not matter if she asked if simply out of a reflex; he was happy either way. ‘ _Thank you…!_ ’ he thought and lost the battle against his tears that began streaming down his cheeks from gratitude.

He hung his head while supporting himself against the toilet seat, so weak and pathetic he despised himself. Even if he knew there was nothing he could do to ease his situation, and even if he knew he had all the reasons in the world to pity himself, he could not help but to feel mortified. All that he had been in the past was gone. The confident and capable Slaine Saazbaum Troyard was gone and what remained was nothing but a weak and shivering shadow.

The guard stared at him for a while, not saying a word. Was she angry? Shocked? Annoyed? Whatever she was, Slaine tried to block her presence away and felt his voice being forced out of his throat by anxiety, making him whimper and gasp as he cried. It was impossible to contain. He could not harbor the feeling at all now that he felt this pathetic after vomiting. His body trembled more and more and he was slowly soaked by cold sweat.

Then after a short while of only his whimpers filling the cell and corridor, the cell door was unlocked and the alpha walked into the cell. Her action startled the omega and her steps alarmed him. Slaine looked up just in time to see the alpha squat down next to him and reach out her hands to take a hold of him. Terror struck him; he was too weak to resist her abuse.

“N-no!” he shouted and pulled back from her with fear making his ears ring. “Please don’t!” His breathing fastened and became shallow, and he stared at her with wide eyes and did not even blink in order to not lose a moment to protect himself. With trembling hands, he gripped his sweater over his chest. “I-if you really have to … I won’t resist you. J-just don’t be violent,” he then begged with tears still streaming down his cheeks.

The alpha frowned deeply and stared at him with confusion.

“Have to what?” she asked, seemingly disoriented by what had just happened.

Slaine felt lost as well when she did not react the way he had expected her to. He had expected her to take a hold of him and hit him for vomiting and wasting resources, or even push him down to fuck him. He knew nothing about her, which also meant he could not trust her, and only fearful thoughts about her ran in his mind.

“T-to have sex with me…” he mumbled and dared to blink to clear his vision from the tears now that she seemed confused enough to not be an active threat.

“What?” she asked and blinked a couple of times before shaking her head. “No, that wasn’t what I intended to do. You looked so weak I thought of helping you to the bed.” She frowned as Slaine’s breaths did not calm down. “Jesus Christ…” she then sighed and relaxed. “You’re a pregnant omega; your pheromones are actually really pleasant and calming; no one would be able to treat you violently, so calm down.”

Slaine lowered his gaze as his thoughts floated back to the vice admiral’s abuse the day before. What she said was not true. Had she no idea of what the old man was doing to him? He wanted to protest and explain himself, but thought of it as useless and stayed silent instead; she was not interested in hearing his explanations or excuses. She was probably only interested in him obeying her.

Instead, he dried his tears and took a deep breath to calm down some more.

“I’m … sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t think … me being pregnant mattered…”

‘ _It didn’t matter to him…_ ’ he thought and heard the vice admiral’s grunts from yesterday and felt the sensation of his disgusting knot inside him, making him close his legs tightly.

The alpha stared at him for a while without moving. Slaine saw her wear a deep frown on her face as she studied him while thoughts obviously coiled in her mind.

“They really treat you badly, huh?” she asked quietly, like she finally seemed to understand this. The pitiful omega lowered his head some more. “Do you always do that?” she then wondered. “Lower your head and curl up and hesitate a lot?”

“I…” he said – compelled to answer out of reflex – and swallowed down the thick saliva that had gathered in the back of his throat after the crying and vomiting. “They treat me the way I deserve…”

Again, tears gathered in his eyes for saying such a hurtful lie. His emotions betrayed him. If he could, he wished his tear ducts would be blocked so he could conserve his energy; crying was exhausting. His skin on his cheeks and chin was already irritated from the salty liquid.

“You don’t really think you deserve this, do you? Hey,” she said quietly and peered at his lowered face. “That’s not something Count Troyard would have said.”

Slaine shook his head. Her comment was ridiculous.

“I’m not him…” he whispered and dried his tears again. They refused to stop falling and he felt like he was about to implode. “He was a role I had that died the day I was put in here.”

“And what role did you adopt instead?” she asked concerned. Slaine shook his head; he did not know what to answer. “A prisoner? A war criminal? Someone to blame?” She went silent for a short moment, as if she hesitated to continue: “An omega?”

Slaine shook his head again.

“I tried to fight it,” he said quietly. “I knew this would happen if the alphas in control of my imprisonment learned I was an omega…” He took a deep breath. “I tried to stop my heat by starving myself, but … it didn’t work…”

‘ _Why am I saying all this?_ ’ he suddenly wondered as he felt strangely talkative.

“In other words, one of the roles you took in here was the role of an omega,” she said matter-of-factly.

The alpha moved closer and his body froze immediately. He felt her scent – the pheromones of an alpha. The scent poured into his nose and he got a demand from his brain to run; it made his mind spin out of control from fear as he found that he could not run anywhere. Her arms wrapped around him and he instantly raised his arms to keep her at a distance, forcefully pushing against her shoulders. She, however, did not pull away and instead pulled him as close into an embrace she could, allowing Slaine to have a little distance to her but also made sure he knew he was welcome to rest against her bosom.

‘ _No, no, no, no, no!_ ’ the prisoner thought terrified and confused. ‘ _Don’t touch me!_ ’

“Yesterday, when _he_ came to mate with you, did he treat you bad?” she asked while Slaine held his breath. He was so afraid she would hurt him that he was lost in what to do with himself. His entire body trembled and he got violent impulses to begin thrashing in her arms. Just one more wrong move that alarmed him and he would become wild. “He did, didn’t he? Was that the reason you wanted to take a shower; to wash his touch away?” He could not answer and only stared at a button on her shirt. “I’m sorry I couldn’t adjust to yesterday’s situation after he left. I know what they’re doing to you, but yesterday when I saw you for the first time, I was…” She stopped herself and thought for a short moment, and then sighed: “I didn’t realize how much you actually suffer from all this.”

As he heard her say such kind words, Slaine’s mind went completely silent and something overwhelming welled up inside him. It filled him completely, poured into each and every nook and corner of his being and began to swell. Then, as he felt her hand caress his back, he understood she was comforting him, and his being shattered by the overwhelming emotional expansion her touch allowed; she would absorb the deep dip of emotion he was going through now instead of forcing him to handle it alone.

His weak hands gripped her shirt but that was all he dared to do. Receiving comfort was strange and uncomfortable, since he had not gotten much of this luxury in his life. It was like giving away the control over his feelings to someone else – to depend on someone else to make him feel better – which disallowed him to have the entire control over his emotional life. He had to put trust in others, but what if they would not help him? It was terrifying to trust someone else, even in a moment like this.

What would he do? What should he do? Comfort was alien to him, and he was not sure he liked it. Despite that, somewhere deep down, he felt relieved that someone was suddenly there for him – even if it was a nameless guard – and he wondered if he was allowed to accept her comfort.

‘ _I’m so confused!_ ’

A second later, he collapsed into a cry with loud whimpers, with his body jerking from the sobs and hiccups.

“I don’t know what to do…!” he cried. “I try to bear it, but I j-just can’t! It hurts! It hurts so much to be dehumanized like this! Every time I feel relieved he has finished and is gone, I immediately remember he’ll be back the next day if I’m unlucky. It’ll never stop!”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the alpha holding him said quietly; her voice trembled.

“I can only wait,” Slaine cried now that his emotions ran wild. He could not stop his voice from pouring out now that he had begun to explain his emotions and thoughts. It was like a dam breaching: “My life consists of nothing but waiting. Wait for my unchosen alpha to conquer me time and time again. Wait for my pregnancies to end. Wait for my children to be taken away from me. Wait for breakfast, dinner and other meals that taste like ash in my mouth. Wait for my doctor, psychologist and obstetrician appointments that serve to keep me alive a little longer. Wait for my time to pass … so I finally can move on from this life and end my waiting,” he cried and shook his head before he finally screamed: “I’m drowning in all this waiting! I’m tired of being a body to be conquered and not be called by my name! I miss being an individual and be acknowledged as one, and I just want people to stop stealing pieces of me away!”

This was bad. He had raised his voice without being able to control it and it did not take long before running steps were heard in the corridor. Slaine pushed himself away from the alpha holding him and got up onto his feet and backed away from the bars. He pushed his back against the corner, glaring at the opposite corner from where the guards would soon emerge, while his body trembled from weakness. The alpha got up onto her feet as well and seemed confused of what was going on, but Slaine knew.

“I’m not even allowed my emotions in here! You all just want me to be quiet and obey!” he yelled with tears streaming down his face as the running guards came into view. He was so agitated he could not stop himself. “Come at me and silence me like you always do!” the cornered omega urged the guards who hurried into the cell to take control of a situation they thought had gone out of control. “Push me down and pin my arms and legs! Why should I care anymore?!”

“Troyard!” the alpha exclaimed and watched with shock as three guards stormed the cell and took a hold of Slaine and pushed his back against the floor.

As his limbs were pinned down as well, she shook her head from disbelief.

“I hate this…” Slaine said quivering with tears streaming down his temples while staring at the ceiling. He relaxed in their grip and did not resist them. “In here, I’m less than an animal…”

“Calm down,” a guard, who pinned down his arms, warned him.

Slaine looked at him with a saddened smile.

“I am calm…” he said quietly.

“Release him!” the alpha suddenly exclaimed, startling all of them. “What you’re doing is outrageous!”

“He’s an A-class prisoner. He is dangerous,” the guard holding Slaine’s arms said strictly.

It was obvious he had said it many times before. He nearly seemed tired of saying it; probably wishing people could just stop arguing about it and let him do his job.

“For God’s sake, he’s a pregnant omega!” the alpha yelled and took a step toward them. “He’s harmless like this!”

“No,” the guard answered her. “He’s dangerous. You have no idea what he’s capable of.”

The alpha stomped her heel against the floor hard enough a loud sound exploded from her boot. Her reaction startled and confused the omega, who could only stare at her with disbelief and shock. An alpha … arguing for his sake?

“Release him instantly!” she ordered, he voice resounding in the stone and concrete confinement.

Slaine felt a whiff of a pheromone that made him want to cower. It smelled similar to Häkkinen’s pheromones when he was being aggressive. The guards seemed to realize she was of higher authority than them, and slowly released the omega and backed away. Slaine kept an eye on her from the corner of his eyes to see if she would try to mount him, and he stiffened when she walked up to him and held out a hand.

“I think you should lie down in bed,” she said. “Slaine.”

The prisoner watched her hand for a moment in bafflement, surprised by hearing his name and that she did not jump him now that he lay so defenselessly on the floor, but then took her hand and let her pull him up.

“Get some rest,” she then told him with a calming voice and helped him to the mattress.

Slaine lay down and buried himself beneath the duvet, and he heard her shoo the guards away with an aggressive tone. Then she flushed the toilet to wash away Slaine’s rejected breakfast and tidied the cell.

Slaine felt confused as he studied her from a gap in the duvet. She had treated him like a nuisance yesterday, but now she was quite caring. He could not remember any alpha holding him like she had done moments before the guards had run into the cell; he was unsure if even Asseylum had held him like that in their past.

‘ _What are you doing here?_ ’ he wondered – having a feeling something was strange with her being here – and watched her turn around toward him. He closed the gap to hide from her gaze. ‘ _You’re not an ordinary guard._ ’

“Do you want me to bring you something else to eat? Like fruits or something?” he heard her ask outside his soft castle.

“No…” he mumbled and rested a hand on his stomach, silently apologizing to the growing lump of cells in his uterus for not eating when he was supposed to. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Could you leave me alone?”

The alpha hesitated for a couple of seconds, probably pondering on what else to say, and then complied with his request. Before she left, she told him her name being Yuki. When she had gone and no sounds were heard outside the duvet, Slaine buried his face against the pillow and began crying.

He felt mortified.

αβΩ

“He refuses to speak to me,” the psychologist said and sighed heavily.

“And he barely speaks to me either,” the doctor answered with a slight frown playing on his face.

“That’s odd,” the obstetrician said while looking curiously at the two betas who wore troubled expressions on their faces. “He’s quite chatty with me.”

“Perhaps because you are an omega?” the psychologist said, and Inaho watched the obstetrician shake his head.

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” he said. “I haven’t told him that, and I take suppressants. I might as well be a beta for him, too.”

It was early in the morning. The prisoner was probably woken up while this meeting was taking place. The young alpha accompanied the personnel during their morning meeting to discuss the problems surrounding Troyard, and he listened intently to what they were saying. It was frustrating that Troyard refused to speak to those who would help him to survive in this prison, since Inaho truly believed the omega could be saved if he only wanted to bond with him.

Inaho had tried to convince the warden and the higher-ups to abandon their plan of using the defenseless omega against his will, and when that had failed he had begun pushing the warden to hire more healthcare personnel to preserve whatever heath there was left within the prisoner. He feared Slaine would completely drown in health problems – both somatic and mental – if there was nothing that could keep the prisoner’s head above the water. That was why the psychologist was hired.

He had also managed to persuade the warden to hire his sister with start yesterday, with the argument that Troyard needed some social activity. It had not been easy since the warden was reluctant to hiring another alpha due to the dangers of the omega’s pheromones, but he had finally given up as Inaho had pointed out that Troyard would not release any dangerous pheromones during his pregnancy. Rather than coax and seduce his sister, he was sure Troyard’s pheromones would keep her calm and on friendly terms with him, and – because she was an alpha – Troyard would hopefully be affected by her pheromones as well and behave around her. This would allow him to eventually move outside his cell and give him a tiny bit more freedom.

‘ _And if he allows us to bond with each other, things will turn even better for him_ ,’ Inaho thought and felt his loins burn the moment he thought of bonding with the blond.

Perhaps he celebrated too early, but his mind would not give him rest from thoughts about his fated mate being pregnant with their child. It was a sight he longed to see.

‘ _This is ridiculous; this is not like me_ ,’ he then scolded himself and felt troubled over how easily he was swayed just because he had an omega who was supposed to be his mate within his reach. ‘ _No, he’s not mine yet_ ,’ he corrected himself, blaming himself for not being able to comprehend that Troyard as a mate and partner did not belong to him. ‘ _This is exhausting me…_ ’

“Miss Kaizuka has been assigned to counter that problem,” Inaho heard the warden say, and everyone turned their attention to him. “She was especially recommended since she apparently has a way with people, and we hope Troyard will open up to her and then continue opening up to you all as well.”

The psychologist nodded:

“He is quite reserved about what he says and to whom. Clinical meetings with healthcare personnel might be a little too sterile for someone who seems to have difficulties with communication,” he said and everyone else seemed to agree.

“That’s good and all, but I must express my concerns of what is being done to him,” the obstetrician continued. “This kid has gone through horrible experiences. I even get sick to my stomach thinking about what he has told me, which makes me question this entire thing with breeding him. Don’t you all think it’s too much? He’s already serving a life sentence in here. Shouldn’t that be punishment enough?”

Inaho knew the man’s words would be rationalized by the warden; the brunet’s words had already been buried away by the warden and higher-ups.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the warden scoffed. “He surviving a horrible past is no excuse to mass murder people. He was trying to wipe out our entire omega population and deserves no pity. The higher-ups think it’s a waste to only keep him here without having him pay back for what he has done; we need all omegas we can get, and we need them to produce descendants. Otherwise our society won’t survive when the next generation takes over.”

Inaho felt agitated hearing the warden speak so cruelly about the prisoner, and it seemed like the obstetrician and psychologist felt the same way as they glared at the warden. The doctor had locked his gaze to the papers in front of him as he had already given up; he had been here much longer than the others and was already used to the disinterested ear of the warden and higher-ups.

A life was a life no matter who it belonged to. Inaho knew that no matter how much they protested against what was being done to the prisoner their superiors would not listen to them. He had already tried and been warned, and they had begun to turned down his requests to speak in private the moment he mentioned Troyard’s name; they were tired of the brunet’s arguments of why the prisoner needed to be acknowledged as a human being. According to them, he was cattle.

‘ _That’s why I have to play a foul game and have him bond with me behind everyone’s back, and once they learn I have marked him they have no choice but to accept it_ ,’ Inaho thought and continued listening to them argue; the obstetrician was as persistent as the brunet had been about the matter of human rights. ‘ _Once we have bonded, Troyard will respond to me and no one else_.’ He looked down at the paper lying in front of him on the table. ‘ _Slaine Saazbaum Troyard…_ ’ he thought as he read the omega’s full name. ‘ _All I need to do is to remind him now and then and wait until he’s ready to let me mark him. I have to be patient, since I can’t force him; I don’t want him to be unhappy with me as his mate._ ’

Waiting… That was all he could do. What a frustrating thing it was to wait.

After the meeting, Inaho walked down the corridor to meet up with his sister who had just had her second encounter with the former tyrant. He was curious to know what she thought of him, not only because Slaine was his fated mate and he wanted her approval, but also to see how the omega had reacted to the alpha and vice versa.

He met her standing in the corridor behind the door dividing the corridor into sections. On the other side of that door was where Slaine’s cell was located. With the door between the Kaizuka siblings and the prisoner, Inaho and Yuki could speak safely without worrying about the prisoner hearing their discussions.

“Nao,” he heard his sister say with a quiet voice the moment he walked up to her. She was staring down at the floor. “He’s nothing of what I thought he would be,” she continued saying and looked up at him with a troubled frown.

“Did he speak to you?” Inaho wondered and felt relieved as he saw his sister nod.

“What is actually going on in here?” she wondered and shook her head. “I didn’t think much of it at first because I felt really vengeful for everything he has done and all. I behaved kind of spitefully toward him yesterday because I just couldn’t relate to him; all I saw was a tyrant. But now, he-”

She took a deep breath that trembled just slightly, and Inaho could tell she was ashamed of herself. Inaho, too, had been through a similar process. Back on the beach, five months ago, he had been ready to pull the trigger to hurt him if Slaine would have tried to attack him or run away. Of course, the brunet had not planned on killing him but rather harm him enough to allow him to take him into custody. Back then, Slaine had been Count Saazbaum Troyard to the brunet; a dangerous enemy, but then – as their eyes had met – Inaho had felt something change drastically in how he looked at him.

It seemed Yuki was going through the same process, even though Inaho had seen his fated mate in the eyes of the tyrant. What did Yuki see?

“You’re only human,” the brunet reminded her, and she chuckled downheartedly.

“Sure, whatever…” she sighed and continued explaining what had happened moments earlier.

Slaine had vomited after a long struggle to eat his breakfast, and then he had broken down and begun crying. As Yuki had tried to help him, he had believed she had been there to rape him, but had then begun to cry when it had turned out she was trying to comfort him. He had riled himself up and screamed in the end, which had attracted the guards who had pinned him against the floor.

She took a deep breath, as if she was feeling sick after explaining her experience with the prisoner.

“The vice admiral raped him yesterday even if he knew he was pregnant…” she whispered. “I didn’t really believe you when you said how badly he’s treated, but I guess I have to accept that perhaps I’m not as empathetic as I thought I was.”

Inaho felt his heart burn hearing all that. What Slaine was forced to endure was horrible beyond anything he could imagine, and it frustrated him greatly no one had listened to him when he had tried to push the others in charge of Slaine’s imprisonment to give the pitiful blond some space to breathe and show some sympathy. Even if that was about to change with the new healthcare personnel and healthcare plan, it was still not enough until the vice admiral had been wiped out of the picture.

He could not blame his sister either, and he had known she would probably react awkwardly to Slaine during their first meeting. Even if she was a kind person, she had her own issues with trusting people: Ever since their parents had died, both of the Kaizuka siblings had developed issues with connecting to others; they were attached to each other – sometimes unbearably so – and while Yuki was distrustful and ambivalent in her connections to people – especially in matters concerning her brother – Inaho was a parentified child.

Despite this, Inaho knew his sister would be good to the blond prisoner once she got to know him as he knew her all too well; just like Inaho, when she saw misery she had to interfere in it one way or another. The difference between the siblings was that while Inaho was more practical about it – as seen in the war – Yuki had an emotional approach.

And even if her initial impression on Slaine had been bad, he believed Slaine did not put too much value in it as he, too, had issues with people; one slip would not harm him too much, but one single friendly pat would turn his world upside down, for better or worse – hopefully for the better.

“Do you understand why I don’t want to turn my back on all this?” Inaho asked after a couple of seconds of silence. “He has been through a lot in his past and is put through even more now. He has a history of severe sexual abuse from older childhood and he doesn’t seem to be allowed any escape from that kind of fate unless he takes a mate.”

Yuki stared at him with her frown deepening, and then she gritted her teeth before licking her lips and said:

“To think I hated him so much, but with a single glance at his grieving face and that changed entirely.”

Inaho nodded:

“It’s as if his expression holds you responsible for how you approach him,” he said. “It’s easy to hate someone, sometimes even kill someone, as long as you don’t see their face, but once your eyes meet you suddenly feel responsible for the other.”

Yuki nodded and sighed.

“That otherness or othership or whatever the philosophers call it,” she said and shook her head after pulling her fingers through her hair before continuing: “He has large scars on his body… I saw it yesterday when he wanted to take a shower. They have paled so I guess they’re old.”

Inaho nodded knowingly. He had seen the scars many times before, especially recently during Slaine’s heat.

“They are the remains of a horrible chapter in his life,” he said quietly and saw his sister’s eyes tear up. “I don’t think he has ever had a decent life, but we know very little of this so we need to investigate carefully so we can help him somehow.”

“Oh shut up already,” Yuki mumbled and dried tears from her eyes before they got the chance to fall. “All I see when I close my eyes is his pitiful and pregnant image.”

Inaho stepped up to her and looked meaningfully at her. She hid her eyes behind her hair for a while, avoiding looking at him to expose her saddened state, and stayed like that until her tears had stopped flowing. Then, as she looked up at her brother, Inaho said:

“I need to bond with him. I am the only one who can make his life even slightly decent in here and I don’t care if I will break orders. What the higher-ups are doing to him is inhumane, and I can’t change their minds since they’re too vengeful.” Yuki took a deep breath while she stared at him and then nodded. “Will you help me?”

He watched his sister push away from the wall and turned to face him properly. Then she said quietly:

“I will do what I can for him, but I can’t support you in bonding with him. I’m sorry to say this, but he’s not well enough; I think you deserve someone you can live a normal life with.”

“Sis,” Inaho said somewhat frustrated. “I have decided he will be my mate. However our life will look like, we will make it through somehow and become happy.”

“Your dreams really are naïve, Nao,” she sighed. “You know what being a fated pair means, right? I’m scared for you; I don’t want to lose you because of someone like him.”

“I know,” the brunet answered, but did not care to continue arguing. “By the way… Once Slaine returns from the obstetrician, he will have a pen and notebook with him. Make sure he won’t hurt himself with the pen; keep an eye on him.”

Yuki tilted her head in curiosity.


	10. The Narrator

“All right,” he heard the obstetrician say and listened to him flip through some papers. “You’re four weeks and two days pregnant. Do you feel any different?”

Slaine had no energy to answer. Instead, he sat on the edge of the gynecological bed with slumped shoulders and hands loosely knitted together in his lap while staring at the floor between his feet with swollen eyes from the crying less than an hour ago.

It was strange though; the guards who had shown him to the infirmary were not present in the room. The obstetrician had not even needed to order them to leave as they had walked out of the room immediately after showing the blond inside. The personnel must have made some new routines – routines that gave Slaine room to breathe properly.

The obstetrician sighed and said with a somewhat faked cheery voice:

“Well, the fourth week is special. This is the time when the baby will begin developing its organs until the tenth week, and is vulnerable to anything that might interfere with its development. Have you noticed anything different? Like nausea or such?”

Slaine decided he should at least tell the obstetrician about the vomiting in case it had something to do with the pregnancy, and mumbled:

“I vomited … after breakfast.”

The man went silent for a short while before he nodded and wrote something into his notebook.

“That’s probably what is called morning sickness in layman terms, although you can be struck by the nausea at any unexpected time throughout the entire day. Do you know what it is?” he then asked, and when Slaine shook his head he continued: “Three quarters of all omegas and female betas have pregnancy related nausea or vomiting during their first trimester, and no one is really sure why that happens. It can have to do with the sudden increase of hormones hCG and estrogen, and it might also be because of stress among other things, which I suspect might be the cause in your case. It usually starts in week six but can begin – as with you – already in the fourth week. It might disappear and it might come and go throughout the pregnancy. Even so, if you want relief, I can give you medicine to keep that at bay, since it can be really exhausting.”

Slaine barely listened to what the obstetrician said, mostly because he felt he could not deal with the obligation to learn what this new state of being meant for him and the fetus. He just simply could not answer the obstetrician with anything as he was at a loss for words; there was nothing to say really and he felt slightly indifferent. The obstetrician probably understood this, as he continued:

“I would also like you to begin taking multivitamins and try to lessen your stress levels because it’s not good for the baby. I believe you’ll see your psychologist tomorrow? Talk to him about this and ask him what strategies you can use to relieve you of stress while we try to rein in the vice admiral.” Slaine turned his face away at that, not liking the idea of speaking to the psychologist who was too professional to feel genuine and trustworthy. The obstetrician sighed with a wry smile: “He might be an old man who is stiff and all but give him a chance.”

Hearing that made the blond sigh heavily and grip his poncho tightly. He was tired of being forced to constantly expose and share his vulnerable self over and over again, never being allowed to keep anything as his own. It was like they were slowly stealing pieces of him away and never getting enough, always wanting more from him and made him fear he would not have much left within a couple of weeks, if not days. Trusting someone to help him was out of the question.

“Do you have difficulties of knowing what to say?” the obstetrician continued asking with a gentle tone that did not aggravate the blond further. When Slaine did not answer, he took a deep breath to say: “I read a book once that I borrowed from the library. It was an autobiography of an author named Agatha Christie. Do you know her?” Slaine was unsure if he had heard the name but he had no will to answer or ask. As the obstetrician understood this, he continued: “Anyway. I noticed when I got home that this book was damaged, with pages torn off and put back in the wrong order. Had I read it like it was, it would have become a chaotic episode in the story of the book. To fix this and make sense of the story, I put the pages back in order.”

Slaine wondered what the obstetrician was getting at by telling an uninteresting story like this. Why would he care about pages placed in disorder in a book?

The obstetrician continued:

“A narrative identity is a little like an autobiography. It’s the identity an individual has created by forming an evolving story of the self through life experiences they have integrated and internalized. It’s basically a narrative of their life, which contains their reconstructed past, their present through their own perceptions, and an imagined future. It has everything a traditional story has, such as characters, plot, themes and settings and more. It is through this a person finds unity and sense in life; to understand and know their self.”

This piqued Slaine’s interest somewhat. It was something new he had not heard of before, which made him wonder what the obstetrician was trying to say. There was no way he would tell all this to Slaine without having an ulterior motive, and the blond was honestly curious about what it was.

This surprised him somewhat, as he felt like he had had no interest in anything simply because he was too tired to care about anything: Feeling this oppressed and suffocated was taking a lot of energy and mental capacity, and the large emotions drained him of the last drops of coping he had left. Now, however, he sharpened his hearing and listened.

“Sometimes, when a person goes through something majorly difficult, this life story breaks and becomes chaotic, much like the book I told you about,” the obstetrician continued to explain. “Because this story breaks, so does the identity this story tries to convey, and a person might lose stability and meaning in their life. Just like with the book from the library, a person sometimes needs help to put their story back together to create unity, meaning and sense again.” A notebook and a pen suddenly came into view from behind Slaine’s bangs that hid his eyes, and made the blond stare at the objects with surprise while listening to the obstetrician say: “Why not try to write your story, Slaine? Sometimes the written word can be easier to share with others than the audible counterpart. Tell us who you are, so we can get to know you and help you put your story back together. That’s why I, the psychologist, doctor and Miss Kaizuka is here, so why not help us in helping you?”

Slaine looked up at the obstetrician and then looked down at the notebook and pen again.

“I…” he whispered and made a short pause to collect his thoughts. “That pen…”

“I know it might be used as a weapon,” the obstetrician said with a smile once Slaine looked up at him again. “Miss Kaizuka will keep an eye on you, and when she’s not here, the guards will do that instead. Please, don’t use it incorrectly, as I want to trust you and see you with a pen in hand in the future.”

So they would keep him under observation, probably stricter than before. But… Somehow he felt relieved despite that.

Slaine looked down at the notebook and pen again. It was a standard lined notebook and the pen was black with a cat head on the lid. Hesitantly, he reached out his cuffed hands toward the notebook and pen, and the chains rattled quietly as he moved. Once he took a hold of the objects, a strange kind of fulfillment spread in his mind and heart.

‘ _These are mine…_ ’ he thought, and his fingers tightened around the notebook and pen. ‘ _These are only mine…_ ’

He furrowed his brows as yet another heavy feeling engulfed him, desperately trying to push his tears back despite knowing it was futile. After a couple of seconds of brave fighting, tears finally fell onto his cheeks as he felt overwhelmed by being given items that he could call his own.

“Start from the beginning and work yourself slowly forward,” the obstetrician said carefully, and Slaine opened the notebook and saw the clean pages in it while listened to the obstetrician continue: “Focus on recreating important episodes in your life when writing your life narration of things that you believe have had a great impact in your life, both good and bad. Just don’t lose focus on the whole story when concentrating on the episodes. If you get stuck somewhere, your psychologist might be able to help you unlock forgotten memories.”

Slaine looked up at the obstetrician again and sniveled before drying his tears, and then nodded and hugged the notebook close to his chest and gripped the pen hard. These items were suddenly precious to him, and would hopefully become tools to distract his mind from going into the deep shadows his current situation created.

“Thank you…” he whispered, and the obstetrician smiled back at him with a nod.

“Give us healthcare personnel a chance. Please believe me when I say that we want to help you. Make good use of that notebook and pen, and once you run out of ink or paper you’ll be given another one,” he said and gave Slaine’s shoulder a gentle pat. Slaine flinched just slightly at being touched so suddenly, and the obstetrician gave him an apologetic frown. “I’m sorry. I’ll ask for your permission next time.” The blond lowered his eyes in shame. “I hope we get to read your story someday. If not, then at least use your life narration as a tool to know what to say to the psychologist tomorrow.”

With the notebook and pen in hand, Slaine was shown back into his cell and was released from the handcuffs. There, he sat down in the corner of his bed on the floor and looked at the notebook while Yuki made herself comfortable on the other side of the bars with another magazine in hand. He let his fingertips run down the standard cover of the notebook, and then felt the lightness of the pen in his hand. It had been so long since he had written by hand, and he was unsure if he would be able to write anything that made sense.

Despite this, the curiosity to fulfill the task he had been given and the desperation to distract his exhausted mind from exhausting him even more, he opened the notebook and put the tip of the pen against the paper. First, he tried out the pen by dragging it across the page, from the top all the way to the bottom. The black ink flowed easily out of the tip, which told him the pen would be comfortable to write with. Then, he drew nonsensical doodles on the page just for the heck of it, creating ridiculous pieces of art on the lined paper.

A house.

A car.

A cat.

His father…

He took a deep breath as he stared at the childishly drawn doodle of his father. He realized he had difficulties of remembering how he looked like, but knew he had had narrow glasses, a knitted turtleneck sweater or a plain shirt with a checkered necktie that had been harsh for a child’s eyes to look at because of the distracting pattern. Slaine decided to draw his father with the turtleneck.

Then, he drew a doodle of his mother – a ghostly silhouette with no details. In the middle of her chest he drew the mathematical symbol of Omega and a question mark. Onto his father’s chest he drew the symbol of Alpha. Now that he thought about it he realized he had no idea who and what his mother had been. Had it been a male or female omega? What interest had they had? What jokes would they have laughed to? It was strange to think about his mother as he knew he had had one, but he had never known them.

His life’s story began with these two figures, both of which he could not remember properly anymore. They had met somehow somewhere at some point in time, and created a bond that seemed to have survived the death of Slaine’s mother, perhaps because the remnants of his father’s mate lived on in the child they had produced together; in Slaine himself. Slaine could not remember his father ever having a mate, whose celibate life probably had been a representation of his father’s love to his mother.

With those doodles marking the start of the story of his life, he turned the page and began writing about the earliest point of his own beginning, writing the first words:

“ _Once upon a time – only once and never twice_.”

Hours went by with him occupying his corner on the bed on the floor, writing away until his hand began to hurt, and had continued a little more until the pain was too much to ignore. He had managed to put the beginning of his life into words and filled in with the scarce history he remembered he had been told by his father.

Briefly he had hypothesized about his parents, writing down that he liked to imagine them having been deeply in love and possibly even fated mates. He had also worded his wish and hope to having been held by his mother at least once before their death in childbirth, even though he could not remember it. Because he would never learn the truth of his mother, he decided that he had been held by them – skin to skin – at least once. Somehow, that felt important to him.

He realized his early life lacked a lot of information. He was not sure what had happened to his mother more than them dying after giving birth to him, and he was not sure what had happened after that. The earliest memory he could tell about had been about him eating a candy he had gotten from his father. Slaine was not sure how old he had been, but he knew it had been his first taste of sour candy as he remembered he had begun crying from the horrible taste. This had made him dislike sour things – a habit that lived on still today.

He had continued writing about how he and his father – who had been a scientist researching Aldnoah Drives – had moved around to every strange and new place imaginable. Slaine had traveled from the most southern tip of Africa to the northern areas of Svalbard, and he had been in all kinds of countries in every continent on Earth and met hundreds of interesting people.

This – he thought – had given him a large range of cultural perspectives and had enriched his mind with knowledge and understanding about different kinds of people, and was something he thought had made him into the emotional being he wanted to believe he was. The downside of all this moving around, he thought, was that it had given him no sense of where he belonged except at his father’s side in the labs and hotel rooms and restaurants and lobbies and- The list had went on as the blond had tried to recollect all kinds of environments he had grown up in.

After going through his childhood memories up to the age of eleven, he had put his pen down as that had been the age his father had sent him to Mars. The year had been 2009. This was where Slaine had stopped his writing, since he realized there was a gap in his story he could not fill and that needed some time of thinking; he was clueless about why he had been sent to Vers by his father more than his father wanting to study Aldnoah Drives.

This troubled him, not because he was worried of what had actually happened, but because it had been such a meaningful event that had led him to meet the princess who had saved his life. It felt important to know if he had been sent up to Vers because his father had not cared about what would be best for his son and blindly taken him to Vers because he wanted to study Aldnoah Drives, or because he wanted to protect Slaine from the broken Earth. His father had already been so detached from his father role that – by the time the man had died – Slaine had not even been able to grieve for him properly as he had been confused of understanding what he had lost when his father had died. Only later when he had talked with Asseylum about his travels on Earth had he remembered the father he had lost, and that was when he had cried for the first time over losing him.

He also hesitated to write about his precious Asseylum because of the horrible feelings of guilt and anxiety and loss her name carried. It was difficult to admit what wrongs he had done and how madly blind he had been when he had committed his crimes against her. Right now, it was impossible to even think about.

With a heavy breath, he closed the notebook and put it and the pen beneath his pillow, and then lay down on the bed and curled up beneath the duvet. Restlessness haunted his mind as the task of writing down his life’s story was something he could not disconnect from. He felt thrilled and curious to how his story would look like in the end, which resulted in his thoughts slipping and sliding on the memories he now suddenly began to remember – that had lain dormant in the midst of all the chaos that had surrounded him for too many years.

It felt good to remember his innocent past – that he knew for certain.

After he had lain there for a while, thinking about what to write next, he was suddenly reminded about his impossible situation by Yuki letting him know it was time for lunch. With a heavy breath, he pushed his tired body up to get the lunch she served him, but was surprised about her having two trays with the same food on them, one tray in each of her strong hands.

“I thought I would keep you company. I’m mad hungry so I can’t wait for my lunch break,” she said with a smile.

Slaine looked at her for a moment, thinking she was lying as she had probably gotten the order to keep him company like this, but decided not to say a word about his suspicions. It would not matter anyway and he had to eat; it was out of the question to start arguing with anyone, since he was too tired to care about anything worth arguing about. Besides, even if her presence was strange and new to him, he still felt – after their incident in the morning – that she offered some kind of company worth to mention, even if she mostly sat and read her magazines. Passive company was what he preferred, but was annoyed as Yuki seemed to have other ideas:

“So, how did your writing go?” she asked as they had begun to eat. Slaine did not answer, to make a point that he was not interested in talking, and Yuki frowned while she continued poking her food with the fork. Slaine on the other hand had no appetite with her around but did his best to get some food into his stomach. “You wrote for about three hours. That’s amazing. I would never have the patience to write for that long, mostly because I wouldn’t know what to write to begin with.”

Was she joking with him? What else could he do in this cell? He had nothing that could keep his mind distracted from the sickening emotions that hurt when he least expected it, nor did he have anything that would make the time pass and move. He was happy for anything to spend his thoughts on, even a small notebook and a pen.

Even if he knew she meant him no harm with her words, he felt insulted by her kindness.

“What else _can_ I do?” he asked quietly, even hostile, not looking up at her.

‘ _Stop talking like you can even begin comparing my situation to yours_.’

Yuki went silent, hopefully understanding what Slaine had meant by his short scold. To get the upper hand like this – to take back some power over his situation – gave him a better appetite, and the food slowly filled his stomach.

He did not feel as nauseous like in the morning, but he could feel his stomach begin pulsating with something horrible. To relieve him of the feeling, he lay down again and breathed deeply, concentrating as hard as he could to keep the food he had eaten for his and the fetus’s sake.

“You okay?” Yuki asked as she noticed his state, and again the blond did not answer. “The obstetrician has ordered medication to you to make that nausea manageable, but it won’t arrive until tomorrow.”

Again, the blond did not answer. If he could just be left alone for now, that would have been much more comfortable. Yuki did not bother him anymore for a while, though – understanding the blond young man’s signals, and Slaine got to let his stomach calm down in piece.

αβΩ

“He has serious trust issues,” the obstetrician said a couple of hours later. Inaho stood in the infirmary to catch up on what had been said in the room between the man and the prisoner, and had gotten a short update about Slaine’s health in general; the doctor and psychologist had difficulties of reaching the blond, so they used the obstetrician as a first contact with Slaine for now. “It’s no wonder, though, but I think he’s really crippled on how to speak to people,” the other continued.

“The psychologist did say he got the feeling Troyard’s father must have been passive as a parent,” the brunet said. “Troyard has learned to survive on his own and won’t ask too much from others.”

The obstetrician sighed:

“Attachment issues and such are not uncommon. Let’s hope he makes use of the notebook and pen. I’m sure he has a lot of interesting things to say if he just gets the chance to put them into words, whether it’s in the spoken or written word. Either way is fine right now, but he should be taught to communicate his feelings to others with words. Otherwise he risks of being locked up in his own body that reacts in ways he doesn’t understand.”

Inaho felt like he should go and see the blond young man again. He had decided to leave Slaine alone for a while because of the young man’s aggressive reaction last time he had seen him. It had looked painful the way he had screamed so loud, and Inaho wished not to agitate him like that again. Now, however, he felt it was time to try again.

The notebook would hopefully give Slaine some form of release – even of the smallest kind was important right now – to have something to vent out his thoughts and feelings on as he refused to do so with the healthcare personnel. If he chose to show his writing to others, that would help a lot to get to know him and learn how to help him. As he was now, his silence did him no good and harmed him instead.

The brunet thought that perhaps Slaine found other people frightening and felt insecure around others, more so than was actually healthy, and he wished nothing more but to make him feel better in whatever little way he could while waiting for Slaine’s decision on bonding or not with the brunet.

“He was happy about the notebook and pen though,” the obstetrician said with a slight smile, and Inaho felt hope begin to bloom within him – just a little but enough to make him feel slightly more spirited. “He was really grateful and I think he is writing away as we speak.”

“It gave him a sense of purpose?” Inaho asked, and the other nodded happily, saying:

“Perhaps. More than I think he actually showed when he got the notebook and pen. He seemed overwhelmed and shed some tears, so I dare to say this was a good idea by the psychologist.”

Inaho felt a strange form of thrill spread within him that the blond had finally gotten something that would give him peace when he needed it. He was happy for him and also relieved for his sake that, perhaps within a couple of days, the blond would feel a little better. There was the problem with the vice admiral still, but Inaho and the rest of the personnel were working relentlessly on forbidding the man from showing up in the prison.

The beating muscle within him began to speed up just slightly, and he felt a pleasant tingle in his stomach; even the smallest step in the right direction was worth fighting for.

He bid the obstetrician farewell and decided to check up on the young man in the cell. With steps lighter than this morning, he arrived to the cell and met his sister’s gaze that rose from the magazine in her lap when she noticed his presence. She wore a relieved look in her eyes as well, which made Inaho understand Slaine had probably written for a good while.

“ _He’s asleep_ ,” she said wordlessly and got up from her chair. She continued with a quiet whisper as she walked up to him: “He wrote for three hours. You should have seen how calm and relaxed he looked after a while.”

“That’s good,” the brunet whispered back. “You should take a break. I’ll watch over him.”

Yuki gave her brother a suspecting look, probably worrying about Inaho doing something he should not, but then nodded and gave him a pat on his shoulder as she walked past him. She disappeared down the corridor through the door and left the brunet alone with the prisoner.

The silence was – for once – not heavy with emotions that threatened to suffocate him. It was like Slaine’s somewhat peaceful mood had affected the walls around him after writing for so long. The entire cell and corridor breathed with calm, and Inaho decided to sit down onto the chair and watch the lump beneath the duvet on the mattress in the corner. It was still, and he could see the blond’s quiet breaths raise and lower the duvet covering him.

‘ _Serene…_ ’ he thought as he watched him, and a small smile spread on his lips as a cluster of kindhearted feelings swelled in his chest.

Because he was inexperienced with these kinds of feelings that he now felt, he was uncertain of what to call them. What he felt for sure was happiness and relief, and he imagined he could breathe easier now than before. Also his caring nature of a parentified child wanted to bloom to continue making Slaine happy, and he wished more than anything the blond would choose him as his mate.

Happiness. He simply wanted to give him happiness.

Now that Inaho thought about it, he wondered if he could make the blond’s decision easier. Perhaps he could decide not to have children with him? After waging his options the past days, he had come to the conclusion that once Slaine was bound to him and only responded to him, the brunet could come up with the lie that his semen was not fertile after everything he’s been through during the war. It was not an unusual fear in scientists and those who worked in space; their fertility could be harmed by the cosmic radiation.

Whether or not that was scientifically proven correct, the brunet could not afford to care about that. The higher-ups did not care about science concerning biology either, as they were only interested in the studies that would benefit their success in politics and war; the chance of them actually knowing about the effects of cosmic radiation on the human body was probably embarrassingly low.

He decided that if he was to break the rules and laws with bonding with the blond, he might as well tell a lie.

‘ _No child then_ ,’ Inaho thought and stared at the lump in the corner. ‘ _If he won’t wish for it himself_.’

If Slaine wanted to, Inaho would abstain from making children with him, and if Slaine wanted to, Inaho would give him as many children as he wished. It did not matter how small or big their family would be – if it would consist of two or three, four or five individuals – as Inaho would be happy either way as long as his fated mate was happy.

‘ _My mind is delusional…_ ’ he thought and understood he was changing in character. His caring nature had gone from problem solving into emotional, and this confused him greatly. It was like his fated mate was changing him – enchanting him. All he could think of right now as he was alone with the blond was how to care for him.

Love… Was this love perhaps? The wish to sacrifice and give, and the aching need to share and hold… This was so new to him, and he hesitated to call it love for now until he had learned to understand this emotion and need. He did not know the blond well anyway; perhaps it was too soon to call it something like love?

Whatever these emotions and feelings were, they felt harmonious despite their chaotic and passionate character. Whatever they were, they made the brown-haired alpha feel like he was doing the right thing by allowing him to feel these kinds of emotions and feelings. What frightened him, though, was the thought that he was the only one to feel like this.

‘ _Can he love me, too?_ ’ he wondered and felt a sudden ache in his heart as the thought emerged that perhaps the blond would not love him – ever. Even if they were fated mates and irresistibly attracted to each other, there was still a large difference between love and attraction – he should never forget that. ‘ _What if he will reject me?_ ’

The lump in the corner of the cell moved and Inaho could hear a deep breath as the blond young man breathed life into his lungs after waking up. His heart began to race immediately now that Slaine was awake, anticipating the other’s gaze to collide with his. Then, as the other raised the duvet to look out into the corridor, he met the tired look of the other peering at him. Again, Inaho’s heart beat rapidly for a couple of seconds before Slaine hid beneath the duvet again.

“Did you sleep well?” the brunet asked and noticed his heart was beating hard enough his voice shook slightly. He hoped it was unnoticeable when speaking. When the other did not answer him, he continued: “You can sleep some more if you like. If you need anything, just let me know.”

The duvet rustled somewhat and tussled blond hair popped out from beneath it. Then the slender shoulders covered by a sweater and knitted poncho. After that, he met the other’s gaze properly, and Inaho felt an immediate attraction to him, much like gravity. Something had really changed in the blond’s eyes after today’s meeting with the obstetrician. Inaho could not describe what it was, but he looked slightly stronger somehow.

“What are you doing here?” the blond asked with a scruffy voice and rubbed his eyes.

“I wanted to make sure my sister is treating you well,” the brunet answered and watched confusion spread in the other’s expression. Had Yuki not told him she was the brunet’s sister? “I guess she didn’t tell you that?”

“Yuki…” Slaine said and suffocated a yawn. “She is your sister?” When Inaho nodded, the blond scoffed. “She’s nothing like you.”

Inaho blinked knowingly, not bothering about the other’s scoff.

“There’s seven years between us, so that should be natural,” he answered and watched as Slaine took a deep breath to curl up against the corner, tightly wrapped up in the duvet. “How does she treat you?” the brunet asked again, and the blond shook his head slightly and turned his eyes away from the young alpha.

“She’s all right,” the blond mumbled and frowned from admitting something he apparently was not used to. “Is that what you want to hear?” he continued, trying to mask his honesty with a sheet of scorn.

Hearing this, Inaho felt relieved once more. Slaine was talkative again and some of his old bold character looked out from behind the broken façade of a prisoner. The notebook seemed to have worked wonders, and Inaho decided he should try to discover how much interaction he could get from the blond.

“No,” he answered. “I want to hear the truth. Is she all right or should I correct her?”

The blond leaned his head back, revealing his slender neck covered by marble white skin. The brunet could not help but to be fixated on it with his gaze and mind for a while until he heard the nature of an alpha whisper itself awake within him; he wanted to bond with the blond. Quickly, he tore his focus away from the neck and turned it down against the hands resting in his lap.

“Will she even listen to you? She seems like a willful woman,” the blond finally answered, and Inaho felt a slight smile form on his lips.

“She is. She can be very willful, but most of the time it’s because she’s insecure,” the brunet answered confidently. Slaine looked at him with confusion without lowering his head, and Inaho continued: “Even an alpha can be insecure and nervous. She needs time to warm up to people, but that process can be quicker if someone pushes her in the right direction. Regretfully, I end up being the one pushing her most of the time because she knows how to hide her insecurity from others except me.” Slaine kept silent again and turned his eyes to look at the ceiling, probably hesitating to keep their conversation going, and perhaps even wondering if he should allow it to continue. When Inaho had given him time to ponder on that, he asked again: “So, how does she treat you? Is she all right or not?”

The young man in the corner lowered his head and looked at the brunet, who also looked up at him. Some strange kind of electricity began to grow in the air between them. It was weak and barely noticeable as it just slightly brushed the tips of the brunet’s hairs, but it was definitely there – like a ghostly hunch. Slaine seemed to feel it as well; his expression softened somewhat before he turned it away to gather the hardness back into his glare, and then answered:

“She’s all right…” He took a short pause and wrapped tired arms around his torso beneath the duvet. “I just feel hostile toward her.”

What a relief. Inaho had never felt such a relief before since he got the task to look after the blond, and he felt it crawl down his entire body. The life narration theory and notebook and pen had already worked better than expected, as Slaine seemed to be at least a little bit honest and more talkative. His voice even had a mellow tone to it, revealing the grownup side of the blond very preciously.

‘ _He’s still strong_ ,’ Inaho realized and admired the spirit in the other. ‘ _He’s so much stronger than I am_.’

“Why are you hostile toward her?” the brunet asked, harboring his relief in secret.

“She’s being too close…” was the answer.

“Physically?”

“Yeah… She’s unpredictable.”

Inaho understood what he meant; he had expected such a reaction from Slaine, who seemed so used to neglect he found someone else’s kindness difficult to handle – especially physical closeness. Perhaps it even frightened him as its nature was so new to him that he could not control the situation? Just like Yuki, Slaine needed time to warm up to others, and he admitting it being difficult was another step in the right direction.

‘ _More and more steps are being made_ ,’ the brunet dared to think. ‘ _Soon this’ll turn into a proper walk_.’

“That’s because she cares,” the brunet said calmly. “That’s what people usually do when they care about someone. I’m sure you’ve met someone like that in your past, haven’t you?”

He was referring to Seylum as he had learned she had been a great part of Slaine’s life during his first years in Vers. Instead of answering, Slaine went silent and lowered his gaze to the edge of the duvet. He was absentmindedly tapping his fingertips together beneath it, slowly and relaxed, and seemed to settle himself into the silence around them.

This allowed the strange electric feeling begin growing again. Inaho felt it in the hairs on his neck that playfully tingled. Then it spread down his spine, sending pleasant tingles from his back and around his torso, all the way to his fingertips. They began to itch, and so did his lips the longer this continued, and then he saw a small reaction in the blond, who threw a glance at him before lowering it again. They were both becoming aware of the other’s presence, and this awareness began to grow in detail.

Breaths.

Movements.

The sound from their clothes and body parts touching against each other.

Inaho was even aware of how the light from the ceiling above him was reflected in the other’s hair in the dimmed cell.

‘ _This is bad_ ,’ he thought as he realized their nature of fated mates began to wake up.

“Do you want Yuki to back off?” Inaho asked suddenly as he felt he needed to speak in order to distract his mind. “If you want that, I’ll speak to her about it.”

Slaine stayed silent for a while, and Inaho tried to be patient and wait for his answer. It was difficult. The image of his fated mate was etching itself into his cornea the longer he looked at him. The longer it burned like this, the harder his heart beat and the more breathless he became. To his relief, the blond finally mumbled:

“No… It’s fine to have company…”

The brunet nodded, feeling the burn dissipate.

“All right.”

Then pity came over him.

It was strange what a rollercoaster of feelings he had when being near the blond young man. From just feeling breathlessly helpless in the others mere presence, he now felt mournful pity toward him from knowing what he was going through.

How would he be able to save him? Would he be able to save him at all? He was a mere alpha of the young sort; someone who had little status so far in life. What he needed was someone standing higher than the higher-ups in charge of this prison, and there was only one person like that.

The thought of contacting Seylum about this had crossed his mind plenty of times recently. What made him hesitate was the uncertainty of what would happen once he did. He knew Slaine probably feared her, and he knew Seylum would probably take the blond away from here. Would that not be better for him?; even if Slaine feared her she would most likely offer him something better than Inaho could ever give.

‘ _Isn’t he worth it?_ ’ the brunet wondered and decided to test the waters:

“All of this is really difficult on you, isn’t it?” As expected, the blond did not answer. Rather, the young man in the cell sighed in an annoyed fashion and slumped his somewhat tense shoulders. It was obvious he was tired of hearing such a question. “Perhaps that was an unnecessary question. Forgive me,” the brunet continued, getting a confused glance from the other. “Do you want me to call her?” he continued, and Slaine raised his head to look at him straight in the eyes. “I strongly believe she can save you,” Inaho continued and watched as the prisoner’s expression turn into pure horror.

“W-what…?” the blond asked with a gasp. “Who exactly are you referring to?”

“The empress,” Inaho answered bluntly, despite knowing Slaine was perfectly aware of who he had been speaking about. “I have tried to protect you as much as possible, but my status is crippling me,” the brunet continued, suddenly feeling sad as he could not help but to feel jealousy toward the empress in case she decided to take Slaine away from here. “She, however, is of higher rank than anyone in charge of this prison; she will be able to save you from all this pain. I’m sorry I can’t without bonding with you.”

His last words slipped out of him in the form of shame. He wished he could be stronger. He wished he could do so much more than his limits allowed, but he was at a loss of what more to do than he had already tried.

“She…” the blond mumbled and stood up from his corner. The duvet fell off him and he pulled the knitted poncho tighter around his shoulders by gripping it with his hands. “You still have contact … with her?”

“Not so much,” Inaho said honestly and was surprised by how strongly the blond reacted to the mere mention of his former princess’s title.

The blond young man walked carefully toward the bars, nearly in a daze as he was so occupied of being shocked and desperate for something, and finally curled his beautiful slender fingers around the iron poles and looked through one of the gaps at the brunet.

“Does she know?” the blond whispered, and Inaho watched the frightened prisoner straight into his eyes.

“That you’re an omega? No,” the brunet answered frankly and decided to stay in his position on the chair; perhaps Slaine needed to stand taller than the brunet right now?, he thought. “Contacting her is difficult and I haven’t prioritized any communication with her, but if you want me to call her and let her know that we need her assistance, I will do my best. I’m sure she will come to save you without a second thought,” he continued, but was shocked as Slaine released a frightened gasp and shook his head.

“No!” the prisoner exclaimed quietly. “Don’t tell her a thing!”

The blond’s sudden distress surprised him; he had never seen this kind of expression on the other’s countenance before.

“Think about it,” Inaho decided to say, partly reluctantly trying to persuade Slaine to consider what the empress could do for him: “What you’re going through is-“

“No!” the other exclaimed louder. “I don’t want her to know anything!”

“But you’ll just suffer in here,” the brunet said quietly to calm the other down.

“I’m your fated mate right?” the omega asked the alpha, who was taken aback by the sudden change of topic. “Why would you even consider telling some other alpha about me?”

“Not so loud,” Inaho told the other, trying to shush him so that no one who was not supposed to hear them happened to catch on to what was going on. “If I have to give up on you in order for you to get a better life, then I will.”

Slaine’s breaths were caught in his throat and he stared at the young alpha with an upset look. The silence lay heavily around them for a while, giving Inaho a feeling Slaine feared Seylum more than he had expected; he was even showing signs of considering bonding with the brunet just to escape the empress’s knowledge about him being an omega and having to see her.

It hurt.

“That’s not good enough,” the omega whispered with haste, and his grip around the bars tightened. “You’ll just give up on me?”

“That is not my intention,” Inaho answered sincerely, feeling somewhat upset. “I cannot do anything more for you unless you bond with me, but your independence means much more to you than I do. I don’t blame you for it; in fact, I think your independence should mean more than anything, but the reality is that I have no rights to you without a bond, and without any rights to you I cannot change the situation. The empress can-“

“No!” Slaine exclaimed again and interrupted the brunet, even louder than before. “She can’t do anything for me,” he continued silently again. “She shouldn’t even.”

“Slaine-“

“No!” the blond exclaimed again.

He was becoming childish. He did not want Seylum in his life again, but he was completely lost in what to do or ask for instead, now that he had the chance.

“Then what do you want me to do?” Inaho asked and looked at him. Slaine seemed hopelessly frustrated. “Whatever you want me to do, I will, if it’ll mean you will be better off – but it’ll have to be within my capability and range of authority. If I cause too much disturbances I might be taken off duty and never see you again, and I cannot risk that until you have decided on what to do with our fate.”

The blond young man stared at him and seemed to consider his options in urgent haste. Inaho feared he would make a wrong decision if he would not allow himself some time to think things through, and interrupted the other’s seemingly erratic thoughts and said:

“I have decided not to ask any children from you if we bond.” As he said this, Slaine’s expression turned from stressed to baffled. “There are plenty of reasons why even a fated pair might not get pregnant, and if we have to tell all kinds of lies, then we will – as long as you feel that is the right thing for you.” Slaine held his breath, staring at the brunet with a heavy frown on his beautifully sculpted face, and Inaho continued: “Back when I asked you the first time, I hadn’t thought things through properly, and I have to ask for your forgiveness. I’m not well educated in the matters of reproduction – I admit my knowledge of it is very poor – but cosmic radiation is known for doing a lot of harm on humans, even perhaps causing infertility for all we know.”

The blond released his breath and seemed so confused he barely knew what to do. He collected his thoughts in a clumsy manner and said:

“You’ll make yourself into an infertile alpha by lying? The world will shun you if you’re incapable of making children.”

“If that is what will save you, then I will fulfill the lie,” the brunet answered honestly, and suddenly said something so far out of character that it even surprised him: “I want your happiness more than I want your children, Slaine.”

The omega’s scent was getting to him; he could feel the connection between them, the nearly irresistible pull that tried to draw him closer to his fated mate. It made his head spin and body tingle from violent urge for a short moment, before he managed to collect himself and be present in the moment again.

‘ _His scent is affecting me…_ ’ he thought and saw something change in the omega’s gaze as well: ‘ _His eyes are pulling me in…_ ’

The pitiful prisoner’s breaths shook and grew deeper for each inhalation. He opened his lips in an attempt to say something, but then interrupted himself. He tilted his head – almost like he was searching for an angle which allowed his words to spill easier from his mouth – and tried to say something again, but nothing came out.

He was speechless.

“Then of course,” the brunet said quietly. “If you want children, I will serve you no matter how many children you want. If you want one or five- It won’t matter; I’ll let you take what you want from me.”

“You’re delusional from us being fated mates,” the omega whispered. “Saying such things does not become you, Orange.”

“And you being this indecisive don’t become you, Slaine,” the alpha answered. Slaine was taken aback and blinked from surprise. “If I’m being delusional or not don’t matter; I know I’m not making a mistake any way. I understand you fear that you’ll make the wrong mistake, and I also understand this is a big decision. Take some time; the alpha won’t come to visit you for a couple of days, so use that time to your advantage and think things through of what you want.”

“You’re not hesitating, wondering if you’re making the wrong mistake by bonding with me?” the young man asked the brunet, who answered as frankly as he possibly could:

“I told you. There’s no mistake in bonding with you, and therefore I don’t have to hesitate.”

“Don’t contact _her_ …” Slaine asked pitifully, and Inaho nodded.

“Then I won’t – for now.” When the young man frowned from distress, Inaho added: “If I assess there being a need to contact her in the future, I’ll do that whether or not you want it as I prioritize your life.”

The blond’s already furrowed brow grew deeper in its creases and he let go of the bars and nodded – obviously disliking even the thought of letting Seylum know about what was going on in here in order to save his life. The brunet could not help but to wonder what was going on in Slaine’s mind or why he feared her so much, but he suspected it had to do with shame and guilt.

‘ _How can you make any decisions when you’re so filled up by emotions?_ ’ he wondered and worried for his fated mate’s sake.

“Ask your sister to come back; someone needs to guard me now that I have a pen, right?” the blond suddenly whispered and pulled away back into the dimness of his cell. “Your scent is distracting me…” he then mumbled, and Inaho nodded and did as he was told, thinking Slaine asked for someone to guard him so he would not cause himself harm.


	11. The Nest Builder

“He allowed me to read something new today from his notes, and he even told me his father was always busy when he was a child. The prisoner-”

“At least be decent enough to call him by his name; he’s not a prisoner to you, but a patient.”

“… Of course,” the psychologist said after glaring at the obstetrician for a while, clearly not appreciating being interrupted. “Troyard,” he continued, “... told me about his father being busy during his upbringing. When I asked him more about it, it turned out Troyard has never had anyone to reflect himself in and keeps a lot of his thoughts and feelings locked inside him.”

“Which means…?” the warden asked, and the psychologist continued:

“It means he doesn’t seem to have any idea of how to talk to people and I believe he doesn’t think there’s anyone who would care either. I suspect this has to do with attachment patterns, anxious-avoidant attachment pattern to be precise. I do get a feeling, however, he might have some inhibited elements as well, as his behavior is quite extreme.”

The room went silent for a while and Inaho watched the psychologist, waiting for the man to explain what he had just said. Psychology was not something he had studied; Japan had not had classes about humanities as the nation had – ever since Heaven’s Fall – been excessively production based on rebuilding the nation rather than taking care of the people with traumas of war and looking to how to make life easier for people in the ruins of a fallen world.

“So what you’re saying is…?” the warden asked, again wanting some explanations, and the psychologist excused himself for taking it for granted others knew what he was talking about:

“Attachment style – or pattern if you will – develops in early childhood, but it does evolve during an individual’s lifetime as well. There are one secure attachment style and two insecure attachment styles – where the first means children have developed a positive strategy of attachment to others, while the other two are negative strategies,” he said and looked down into his papers and poked the right top corner with the tip of his mechanical pen. “Then there is the attachment style without strategies – the disorganized attachment style – which is chaotic and unpredictable. It might lead to severe attachment disorders, either inhibited or disinhibited ones.”

“You mean the patient has this?” the doctor asked, but the psychologist shook his head with a frown that told the others he was not quite sure yet, saying:

“I don’t know the patient well and evaluations have to be made, so I dare not to claim anything this early, but I strongly suspect he has anxious-avoidant attachment style with elements of inhibition problems; he’s too guarded, suspecting and aggressive. Then again, there might be something else that bothers him, but I would like to start with the attachment problem he seems to have, as comorbidity is quite common in the negative attachment styles.”

“Poor kid,” the obstetrician sighed. “I start to pity him a little too much.”

“Be careful of not losing your professional approach concerning him. Don’t become too personal with him,” the warden warned him, and the obstetrician threw a disapproving glare at the man.

“Miss Kaizuka has also told me he apparently doesn’t know how to put his emotions into words, which supports my suspicions further,” the psychologist continued, to divert the attention of the obstetrician and warden back to him and thereby avoid an approaching argument. “I would like to investigate the matter some more before I can determine anything, but I am certain he has detriments from all of his years alive. To end my theorizing on a positive note, I also have faith in him being able to heal from all this if he’s given the right kind of care. Because he has been so self-sufficient for so long, I also believe he has developed strategies to heal himself, even if they might not be entirely successful. He has a lot of inner resources for someone who lacks a lot of it.”

The air shifted slightly in the room as the atmosphere around the table turned a little more pleasant than moments earlier. Inaho felt confident; they were on the right track, sniffing about Slaine’s current health status like bloodhounds finding trails to follow to frame him in. It was a colossal relief to finally be going the right way after months of unsuccessful tries.

“Considering the kind of environment he was thrown into after his father’s death, with all the abuse and such at such an early and critical age, I think there’s a good reason for him to get proper counseling as well and perhaps even some crisis management to counter the problems he has now,” the obstetrician continued, and the psychologist chimed in:

“I would suggest relational psychotherapy to start with.”

“But first, we need to make him trust us,” Inaho said to remind the others that the first step had to be made in order to give Slaine any kind of care. “He shows nothing but distrust in us, except for Miss Kaizuka who has been resilient during his mood swings and headstrong to stand up to his stubbornness,” he said. “And you as well,” he added and nodded toward the obstetrician. “You two are the closest to him of all of us right now.”

The obstetrician chuckled.

“I think she’s doing a great job, though,” the man said with a pleased smile. “Despite the complicated situation he has with the vice admiral, he does show some signs of wanting to get help now that he has grown used to her.”

“He possibly doesn’t know how to ask, and hopes someone hears his silent requests,” the psychologist said. “I and he have a long way to go; he still doesn’t trust me enough to properly speak to me about his past, and definitely not of his thoughts, but he shows me his notebook each time we have a session and lets me read his latest stories and thoughts, and he sometimes answers my follow-up questions. I must say he is surprisingly good at writing.”

“Is that so?” the doctor asked with interest, and the psychologist nodded and answered:

“He writes his life narration in poetry form. Quite fascinating to be honest. Even if he cannot put his emotions into words, he is quite good in explaining situations and how he has reacted to them.”

“Who would have thought,” the obstetrician said smiling. “We have a poet in the building.”

Even if things were finally going the right way, Inaho was still troubled no matter what the healthcare personnel said. Slaine had shown obvious aggressions toward the brunet, refusing to see him and speak to him after they had had their chat two weeks ago. Something had happened within the blond at that moment, as Slaine was now screening himself off from Inaho altogether, which made the young alpha feel distressed. An important decision had to be made that concerned them both before the vice admiral returned from the UE’s current main headquarter stationed in New York.

‘ _Why won’t he see me or speak to me?_ ’ he wondered before the psychologist interrupted his thoughts by saying:

“All these treatment strategies are good and essential for his wellbeing, but I think it’s more important to figure out what he has in this prison that supports his health, since we know all too well what is reducing it.”

“Ah, you mean we should have a salutogenetic perspective?” the doctor asked, and the obstetrician nodded.

“It’s a good idea. He is subjected to a lot of stress, and stress is not good for a pregnancy,” the obstetrician said and frowned. “I’m honestly worried about the fetus because its mom never gets a moment to relax and unwind; he’s tense and hyper-focused on his surroundings, like he’s in a constant fight-or-flight mode. Troyard has also shown little interest in the fetus itself, which makes me believe he is too exhausted to do anything more than what he absolutely has to.”

Slaine was now in his sixth week of pregnancy. Nothing still showed on the outside, but his moods had begun to change. After a couple of weeks of silence and withdrawal, he was again showing signs of agitation – probably because of the hormones that had begun to affect him. Yuki reported him being easily irritated one moment, and the next he was back to his silent and withdrawn state. Then – out of nowhere – he would show moodiness again with slightly more violent emotions than before, and within a couple of breaths calm down and turn silent once more.

He had shown some steps of recovery after he had been allowed to write, which could also explain his moody and agitated states; he had slowly found back to his old self and found the strength needed to wear a sharp look in his eyes – the same look Inaho had seen in him as Count Saazbaum Troyard.

‘ _Slaine…_ ’ he thought longingly. The waiting was becoming painful – especially now that the blond was refusing to even look at him when Inaho paid him a visit. ‘ _You have to make a decision soon._ ’

αβΩ

A scream woke him up from sleep and he sat up with a sudden jerk. When he opened his eyes to look at where the scream came from, Slaine saw the familiar sight of the cell wall, which he had seen so many times by now that he would have felt confused had it been different. Then, after collecting his disoriented mind, he felt the heart beat wildly and his lungs inhaled deep breaths.

“Are you all right?!” he heard the familiar voice of Yuki say, and Slaine looked up at her when she showed up on the other side of the bars. She had a shocked expression on her face, like she had been shaken by something utterly unexpected and unpleasant. “You were screaming like you were dying or something,” she continued.

‘ _I did?_ ’ Slaine wondered and then noticed his clothes were soaked with sweat. He must have dreamt a nightmare again, but he found it a relief he was spared from remembering it this time.

“I’m … fine,” he mumbled confused and gasped for breath in an attempt to calm his racing heart.

“A nightmare?” the guard continued and looked at him with concern.

Slaine furrowed his brows and ran slender fingers through his sweaty hair while trying to remember what had happened. A strange and suffocating feeling spread in him and he raised his hand to the nape of his neck as if to make sure there was nothing unusual there.

“Y-yeah…” he sighed with a concerned frown.

Nightmares had haunted his dreams quite often after it had gotten known he was an omega, and the intervals had gotten shorter and shorter the longer he waited to make a decision. He could not breathe properly with the task hanging so heavily over his shoulders; he knew he had to decide what he wanted to do, but he feared all the options he had. Should he stay here in prison with the vice admiral, or choose to bond with Inaho? Or should he let Asseylum help him? He had to face different kind of fears no matter what he chose; the pain to be someone else’s cattle, the fear of losing his independence and self, and the fear of facing a precious someone’s anger and battle his own guilt by standing face to face with the person he had wronged.

‘ _Enough already_ ,’ he thought and sighed.

“I’ll get you some new clothes,” he heard Yuki say and listened to her steps as she walked away to the storage.

In the meantime, Slaine took another deep breath and got up from the mattress on the floor and looked around in the cell. Again, he had to go to the toilet; he had been forced to do that a lot lately, and while Yuki was away he took the chance to execute his needs.

When she came back, still with a worried expression painted on her face, she gave him the clothes and Slaine began to undress, not bothered by doing so in front of the alpha woman. When he removed his t-shirt, he winced and hissed as the fabric rubbed his nipples a little too hard. They felt sore and ached a little; they had begun to do that recently, making it impossible to lie on his stomach. It was a symptom of his pregnancy, according to the obstetrician.

Again, it reminded him about how his body did not belong to him anymore, and he continued undressing downheartedly while avoiding looking at his own body. He hated it as it was now. The changes it was doing without his consent was humiliating and disgusting. He wished for the pregnancy to be over as soon as possible so he could have his body back if only for a little while. Not until he had dressed again did he feel slightly more comfortable.

When he returned to the mattress, he noticed the bed linen was soaked with sweat as well, and he sighed heavily and hung his head, mumbling:

“Can I get a new set of sheets?”

“Of course!” Yuki answered and hurried down the corridor again.

It would be impossible to go back to sleep now that he was wide awake, which fouled his mood. What would he spend his time on now? He preferred to sleep over being awake, since each time he was awake he had a tendency to get frustrated or depressed, and both emotions were exhausting his already exhausted mind and body.

As he removed the moist bed sheets while Yuki was away, he decided to fold them neatly as he had nothing better to do. It would also make it easier for Yuki to take them to the laundry. He folded the pillowcase three times and proceeded with folding the duvet cover into a small heap. It got a little wrinkled, which annoyed his vision enough he had to make it look neat before he could proceed with folding the bed sheet.

When he did the same process with the bed sheet, Yuki turned up with new bed clothing and stood silently watching him as he put the pile of used bed clothes together and took them into his arms to give them to her. The look he got from her was gentle and mysterious; she saw something in him she did not share with him, and Slaine felt his mood grow even darker.

‘ _What?!_ ’ he thought frustrated, clearly disliking her thinking something about him without being allowed to know what it was.

With a hesitating glance, Slaine took the new bed clothing from her and gave her the old ones, and then turned toward the mattress while avoiding looking at her or showing his face to her. He hated when people tried to study him, and her stupid face was all too easy to read; she was suddenly highly interested in him.

To avoid the wet spot on the sweat-soaked mattress, he decided to turn it around; it would be much more comfortable to sleep in a perfectly dry bed. He could demand a new mattress later or then wash his current one with water from the sink and let it air dry.

Yuki disappeared with the used bed clothes while Slaine raised the mattress from the floor. Beneath it he saw dust and blond strands of hair – his hair – and he took a deep breath. The mattress was probably dusty underneath, which forced him to wash it now if he wanted to sleep comfortably in the evening. If he washed it carefully, it would be dry once night fell over the land outside these suffocating walls.

To do that, he hauled the mattress to the sink in the far end corner, and leaned it against the wall. He took the towel for his hands and wetted it, added some soap and then began rubbing it against the dusty mattress. It was better than nothing, and he figured he would have something to do during the day. Perhaps he should ask if he was allowed to clean his cell?

When Yuki returned she asked him what he was doing, and Slaine harshly answered that she should leave him alone. His cruel answer had probably been unjustified, but Slaine had instantly – automatically – interpreted her question as if she wanted him to stop. Somehow, washing the mattress and cleaning the cell began to feel like a need, and Slaine would not allow anyone to come in his way as he was sick of being controlled.

‘ _Don’t do this and don’t do that. There’s a lot of don’ts in here and I’m fed up with it!_ ’ he thought frustrated and tried to convince himself he had had the right to be harsh toward the alpha woman just now.

“I’m sorry,” Yuki answered and watched him rub the mattress with the towel, improvising with whatever he had. “I guess you’ll need a new towel then?”

“Yeah,” the blond answered without looking up at her; he suspected her to watch him closely. “And I would like to have a new toothbrush as well.”

“Oh? But you got one a week ago, didn’t you?” she asked surprised, but Slaine quickly answered:

“I did, but I need it to clean the inaccessible corners.”

“Uh-huh…” she murmured suspiciously with a hint of delight, which irritated the blond.

‘ _Don’t be so happy about this! Let me do what I want for once without mocking me._ ’

“I won’t make a weapon out of it,” he sighed angrily. “I just feel like cleaning a little; I have nothing better to do.”

“I see,” the woman said with a purr, which agitated the blond enough to make him turn around and glare at her while grumbling:

“What’s your problem?!”

She wore a pleased expression on her face, like she was satisfied with Slaine’s decision of cleaning the cell. Why would she care that much about what he did? Should they not be happy he – for once – decided to clean his cell by himself instead of letting the personnel do it, and not make him feel stupid about it by smiling like an idiot while watching him clean? They had tried to make him clean his cell ever since he had been put in here, so was that why she was pleased; because he had finally given in?

It made an urge to stop cleaning come over him, as if he should rebel to prove some kind of point. Despite that, he continued cleaning and swallowed his pride; he was pregnant; he should not cause any trouble even if he had come to the conclusion the child was not his; he was just a vessel for it; a comfortable human hotel.

“Well, since you’re so agitated by my presence, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be back within about twenty minutes with some cleaning utilities. No funny ideas with the toothbrush and pen, all right?” the woman said and then disappeared down the corridor, leaving Slaine alone to wash the mattress in peace.

‘ _Thanks…_ ’ he thought with honest gratitude; he needed some peace and quiet.

αβΩ

“So what do you suggest?” Inaho asked and looked at the healthcare personnel around the conference table.

“Miss Kaizuka should try to pry a little and figure out what Troyard thinks would make him feel less stressed,” the psychologist said and tapped the tip of his mechanical pen against the paper again. “I think it’s quite urgent to relieve him of stress as much as possible.”

“He’s a strong young man,” the doctor said and sighed. “We got to give him that,” he continued, and everyone nodded in agreement.

“To bring this meeting to a close, we all have agreed to have Miss Kaizuka-“ Inaho began, but was interrupted by the door into the conference room being thrown open.

“Guys!” the woman said the moment she barged in and ran up to the table with an excited look on her face. It was strange to see Yuki so excited, and Inaho stared at her with confusion as she exclaimed: “Check the security camera in his cell!”

Everyone seemed alarmed by her urging, and they all moved hastily to the room next door to look at the security cameras. When Inaho looked at the screen that showed Slaine’s cell – the screen he had stared at countless of times and studied the young man – he saw the blond was on his knees on the floor, rubbing the mattress he had raised up against the wall.

“He needed to change his bed sheets and folded all of the used ones neatly; usually he just throws them into a pile. Then he said he wants to clean his cell, and wants to even use his toothbrush to clean the hard to get to corners,” Yuki squeaked and flapped her hands like she was about to blow from excitement. “I’ve never seen this before; I’m so excited to see this!”

The obstetrician chuckled, and the personnel began to calm down as they understood there was nothing to be alarmed about. Inaho seemed to be the only one confused by this and waited for someone to explain what was going on. A murmur swept through the room, and the obstetrician said:

“He’s nesting. He’s an early bloomer with everything, it seems; this behavior normally comes around the tenth week or so.”

“Four weeks early?” Inaho asked while staring at Slaine on the screen; he could not tear his sight away from the omega now that he knew what the other was doing.

“Are you sure?” the psychologist asked, and the obstetrician nodded knowingly.

“Has he ever cared about cleaning before?” the obstetrician asked, and people shook their heads while still staring at the prisoner. “Then I dare to confirm he’s nesting. All pregnant omegas do this to prepare the environment for the expected child. At times, this behavior can get out of hand as well.”

“Out of hand?” the warden asked curiously.

“Like, they might start hoarding on stuff they feel they need for the baby even if it’s nothing but rubbish, or they might even turn mysophobic and become obsessed with cleaning and washing everything they set their eyes on,” the obstetrician explained. “It’s mostly common in primiparas, or first-time pregnancies as they’re called in layman terms, because the omega is still inexperienced to know what the baby really needs.” Then he chuckled: “I had a primipara patient once who was hoarding tissues, that they even took free napkins from restaurants and such to the point I would call it stealing.”

“We should keep an eye on him then,” the warden mumbled and stared at the screen with the omega with a gaze Inaho did not approve of; the man was an alpha, too.

“It’s all right,” the obstetrician said with a smile. “Even if the nesting goes out of hand, it’ll calm down later in the pregnancy, two or three months before labor to be precise. I’m sure he benefits from that even if it goes out of hand, so he should be allowed to be as crazy as he wants.”

“This gives the omega a sense of purpose?” Inaho asked, and the others seemed to realize what he was aiming at.

“It’s an instinct, so yes,” the obstetrician said and seemed to catch onto the brunet’s idea as he smiled and said: “I think we’ve found our first salutogenetic activity besides the notebook he got.”

“That is so darn cute!” Yuki exclaimed and flapped her hands again. “Oh, I can’t wait to see my future mate do that too!” She got tears in her eyes, which she tried to desperately fan away. “I feel so overwhelmed to finally see this behavior. It’s so precious!”

“The alphas hide their pregnant omegas from prying eyes because they are so valuable; the mate becomes extremely protective of the omega when they’re pregnant; a behavior born from the rareness of omega pregnancies,” the psychologist said while everyone stared at the screen with the pregnant omega doing what a pregnant omega was supposed to do. “To see this behavior is incredibly rare. There are hardly any videos of this even for educational purposes. Does he know what he’s doing?” he asked Inaho’s sister, who shook her head while having her eyes fixed on the screen, and answered:

“I’m not certain, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of it as far as I see it. He said he feels like cleaning because he has nothing better to do.”

The obstetrician chuckled again and scratched his head awkwardly.

“I can say from personal experience that even if he would have something better to do, he would still feel like cleaning and busy himself with similar activities,” he said and blushed somewhat. “I had a lot of recreational activities to choose from that I preferred over anything else when I was pregnant, but I just couldn’t find peace to enjoy them without cleaning the house first. At the end of the nesting phase of my first pregnancy, I asked my mate to renovate the entire house because I wasn’t satisfied with its current state no matter how much I rearranged and cleaned.”

The warden snorted with amusement and asked:

“Did your mate renovate then?”

“She did,” the obstetrician laughed. “She hired carpenters and painters to work on our house for three weeks while we took a trip to Singapore. They renovated everything on the inside.”

“Sounds luxurious,” the doctor said with a smile.

Inaho barely heard what they said; he stared at the screen like he was spellbound and hardly dared to blink. His instincts were running wild; he wanted to hold the blond, give him everything he wanted and more – do whatever Slaine wanted him to do and serve him. An urge to hide the blond also came over him despite the omega was not pregnant with the young alpha’s child, and his loins began to burn. It felt like he was confusing Slaine’s pregnancy as their pregnancy, like the blond omega was carrying Inaho’s child rather than Häkkinen’s.

‘ _The heat?_ ’ he thought surprised and realized Slaine was rekindling the heat only fated mates felt when finding each other. ‘ _Don’t start now!_ ’

“I suggest we should give him his furniture back,” the doctor said somewhere to the brunet’s right. “I don’t think he is a danger now that he shows this kind of behavior.”

The psychologist nodded, saying:

“We should make use of this opportunity to give him something purposeful. If he needs to clean and rearrange, then I think we should let him do just that until he’s satisfied.”

“Nao, are you okay?” Inaho heard his sister ask while the brunet found himself falling into a daze the longer he stared at Slaine washing the mattress.

“I am,” the young man answered and tore his sight from the screen. He briefly caught the gaze of the obstetrician, who seemed to stare at him suspiciously, and the brunet felt he needed to hurry out of the room before his pheromones would fill the room enough to make the others notice it. “I agree with giving his furniture back to him. Give him a little more than he previously had so he has things to rearrange and decorate. Miss Kaizuka, you’re in charge of this,” he continued and turned toward the door. “Excuse me for a moment.”

With hurried steps, he wandered down the corridor and into the bathroom. He locked the door and leaned against it when his loins began to burn hotter, and he gasped for breath to ease the hot sensation taking over him.

‘ _Collect yourself_ ,’ he ordered his heart and mind, but he knew it was impossible; his hand was already unbuckling the belt buckle. ‘ _Slaine…_ ’

Like he was hit by a wrecking ball after seeing the image of the nesting Slaine, his ability to hold himself together plummeted and the heat exploded out of nowhere. Weak, he slumped down onto the toilet seat and opened the trousers hurriedly. The fabric made his crotch area feel tight as his cock stiffened, and – with a pathetic sigh – he curled his fingers around the flesh and began pumping it up and down while picturing Slaine in his mind.

The burgundy dressed Slaine he saw at first stared at him with a feisty glare – unpredictable and dangerous, like the proud count he had been. Then it morphed into the smile the blond had had on the beach after both of them had crash-landed onto Earth from their last battle in the planet’s orbit – defeated and peaceful, like the suicidal individual he had been. Then he saw the empty eyes of the Slaine who had lost everything, and he remembered the tears that had stained the prisoner’s cheeks. That image made him calm down just slightly, but he was then overtaken by the picture of the blond – this time as an omega in heat – slumped over the table in the interrogation room he had later broken, trying to calm his heat with desperation by squeezing his thighs shut and gasping for breath.

‘ _Slaine…!_ ’

“Ahhh!” the brunet gasped as he stimulated the back of the tip of his cock with careful fingers. His loins burned hotly; he began moving his hips, thrusting into his own hand and thought of it as Slaine’s body. “Mmmph… Haahhh…!”

αβΩ

Washing the mattress turned into a long process – much longer than Slaine had anticipated. After washing it once, he decided to wash it again but with more water. In the end, the mattress was heavy with water and slumped against the wall, and he left it there to dry while continuing his quest to clean the entire cell by inspecting the floor.

Dust, hairs and grains everywhere.

Yuki had not returned yet; it must have been more than an hour already since she had promised him to return and lend him some cleaning utilities. Instead of waiting for her, he took the towel he had used on the mattress and squeezed it dry, and then used it to begin swiping the floors from the dust and dirt. After a while, he became annoyed with not having proper tools as the towel was quickly covered with filth. Despite that, he got up and washed it off and continued wiping away the worst of it.

A couple of moments later he heard several people walk down the corridor outside his cell. He had been in here long enough to recognize people’s steps to know who they belonged to, but this time they sounded heavier than usual and shuffled strangely over the floor. He got up and turned toward the bars, staring out at whoever would emerge from the corner, and was surprised when he saw a guard come into view who was carrying a table along with a colleague.

It was the table that served like a writing desk, which Slaine had had in the cell before he had gotten aggressive. It was larger than the little table he had had the past weeks, and found it a relief to be allowed to sit next to a proper table and narrate his life in the already worn notebook.

“Back away into the corner and stay there while we give your furniture back,” one of the guards who carried the table said, and Slaine – baffled from the surprise – backed away and allowed them inside.

But then…

“Wait!” he said as they carried the table inside the cell; another guard carrying a nightstand waited outside, and another carrying a chair stood behind him, forming a line. The guards stopped instantly and stared at him with observing looks, and Slaine hurried to continue: “Can I clean the floor first? It’ll be a little difficult with all the furniture in the way…”

The guards stared at him with surprise and did not know what else to do at first, but soon a familiar voice chimed:

“It’s fine. Let him clean the floor.”

Slaine looked up and saw Yuki who had returned with a broom and mop and bucket in hand. The bucket was filled with water and bubbles and on its edges small towels and microfiber cloths hung, ready to serve.

“Ma’am?” a guard asked confused, and the woman ordered them to take the table out of the cell again.

“And while you’re at it, take the mattress out as well,” Yuki said and looked at Slaine. “Is that all right with you? You’ll get a new bed too with a new mattress once we have gotten it out of the storage – if you don’t want to keep the one you have just washed, that is. It’s fine either way.”

Slaine felt so confused he was at a loss for words for a while and only stared at the people inside and outside his cell. Why was he suddenly getting his furniture back? Had they finally decided he was not dangerous enough to trash and break the furniture again?

‘ _About time_ ,’ he grumbled silently.

He had been perfectly calm and obedient ever since his heat had ended, and especially after he had been confirmed pregnant, so he had waited for the personnel to trust him enough to give back his furniture without suspecting him of breaking them apart, like he had done during his heat. It felt satisfying to get them back, as they would give the cell a more homely feel.

“That’s … fine…” he mumbled and was ordered to face the wall with his hands on his head while the guards removed the wet mattress from the cell.

“But before you get your stuff back, you will get whatever you need to clean the floor,” Yuki said and put the cleaning utilities into his cell. “I think a ‘thank you’ is in order, mister,” she then scolded with a smile and sparkling eyes.

‘ _What’s up with her?_ ’ Slaine wondered, confused of her sudden sprightly attitude.

A strange form of satisfaction crept over him as he looked at the cleaning utilities. Finally he got something to do – something that made him feel like he did something that mattered. With that feeling lingering in his being, he took the broom and began sweeping the floor in silence, making sure he got as much dust and grains from the floor as he could. Then he proceeded with mopping the floor, scrubbing carefully to remove as much filth as possible.

Yuki sat on the table waiting outside the bars, staring at him with a grin on her lips and followed his every movement. Slaine did not feel too bothered by her staring now that he was occupied with something, but he made sure to avoid looking at her; eye contact would be awkward.

Once he was done with the mopping, he dried some sweat from his forehead and took a deep breath – his arms ached after exerting his entire body to get the floor in his cell clean – and then he looked around to see if he had missed a spot or two.

There were some grains left on the floor, and he decided not to care about them. Then, however, as he was about to tell Yuki he was finished, he felt frustrated by the remaining grains, and he took the broom once more and began swiping the floor where it had already dried.

“Another go?” Yuki asked, and Slaine gasped:

“Yeah. It’s not clean yet. Can you change the water in the bucket?”

“Of course,” the alpha woman said with a voice that sounded like she was smiling, and she did as he asked her.

Once she returned, he began mopping the floor again. He was much more meticulous this time and scrubbed even harder to ensure it would be perfectly clean, but – once he was done – he set his eyes on the stone walls. He could not remember they had been washed at all during his stay here, which made them dirty. There were probably lots of dust in the crevices, and he figured he should wash the walls as well.

Said and done: He brushed the walls with the broom to brush away the dust, and then took the mop and began washing them – scrubbing, scrubbing and scrubbing until he had scrubbed all the walls in his cell. After finishing, he realized with frustration the dust from the walls had run down onto the floor with the water from the mop, and he could not rest until he had washed the floor a third time.

He was becoming exhausted from all the cleaning.

Gasping and sweaty, he finally set the mop down and leaned his back against the bars, which were still untouched. His muscles ached and his back hurt, but he felt a strange sense of fulfillment from being allowed to clean his cell like this.

‘ _That’s right…_ ’ he thought and closed his eyes to calm the racing heart pounding away in his chest while he tried to catch his breath. ‘ _I haven’t dried off the bars yet._ ’

“Hey,” Yuki said behind him. “What do you say about having something to eat? You’ve been cleaning really hard for the past three hours.”

Slaine sighed and nodded. Now that he thought about it, he felt horribly hungry. The moment of rest was brief, however, as he felt strong fingers grab his shoulders and squeeze them tightly. With angry panic pulsing through his veins, he pushed his body away from the bars, tearing his shoulders free from the unwelcome hands and slapped them away the moment he turned around. He backed away, glaring at the alpha woman with open anger.

“I’m sorry,” Yuki said with a heavy frown on her face, realizing she had stepped out of line by touching him too freely. “I just thought of giving you some shoulder massage for a job well done; you looked so exhausted.”

The blond prisoner only stared at her with a guarding look without answering. Slaine did not appreciate anyone’s touch after everything he had gone through, especially not a touch he had not given permission to. He reacted with violence, with a body ready to fight, and Yuki seemed to realize this as her already apologetic expression turned sincerer.

“I’m sorry…” she said quietly and backed away from the cell, clearly feeling regretful for causing distress in the sensitive omega. “I’ll go get some food for you,” she then mumbled and disappeared.

She had lost confidence, which told Slaine he was considered in a higher light than he thought; she cared about him reacting with aggression toward her. Had she not cared, she would have still had her confidence intact and would not have looked hurt.

‘ _She cares about me?_ ’ he thought and frowned, thinking of it as strange that someone was willing to bother looking at him the way she did.

Hunger came over him; his stomach growled and his head felt heavy. He figure he should inspect the cell once more to make sure he could move on to the next task in his cleaning process, and walked around in the cell, from wall to wall and corner to corner, to take a closer look.

Unexpectedly, steps echoed from the other side of the bars, and the blond froze when he realized whose they were. He recognized them anywhere and at any time as he could not mistake them for someone else’s. A tremble shot through him.

‘ _Orange!_ ’

Slaine’s heart began racing again, speeding up with a start the moment he saw Orange’s face in his mind. There was a problem with the brunet visiting him this time; unlike the other times the past two weeks, Slaine had no blanket to hide under now. He could hide nowhere; he was wide open for the brunet’s gaze.

‘ _Damn it!_ ’

Ever since the day he had spoken with Orange about their future and if Orange would let Asseylum know about what was going on, he had begun to understand more and more how much the truth of Orange being his fated mate meant to him as a breathing creature. It had nothing to do with him being human or a rational or subjective being; he was purely an animal when thinking about the young alpha – a primitive mammal that wanted to mate; that would be safe in his mate’s arms if he only allowed him to embrace him.

‘ _You can save me…_ ’ he thought. ‘ _Both my mind and body knows this, and I’m becoming desperate for someone to save me. Yet, I can’t give in yet; I have to feel comfortable with whatever decision I make_.’

To stop the urge of letting Orange mark him and save him from Häkkinen’s claws, Slaine had hidden beneath the duvet each time the young alpha had paid him a visit. His pride was at stake. It was nothing but unacceptable to be reduced into a mere animal like that, giving away the right to his own body by giving the young alpha control of his heats by bonding with him. Even so, Slaine knew he was close to giving up the senseless fight and abandon his stubbornness, which was the reason why he was terrified of even looking at the brunet. The fear of giving up the moment their eyes met was too real; the truth of it loomed over the blond each time Orange was close by.

‘ _I can’t give up. My pride as a free omega is all I have left!_ ’ he thought and frowned with worry.

Right before Orange would emerge from behind the corner, Slaine turned around with his back against the bars. With heart racing and breaths labored, he stared at the wall before him with determination, refusing to turn around and look at the brunet who stopped outside the cell.

Strangely, Orange did not say a word. He seemed to stand there behind him on the other side of the bars, watching the omega. It was strange, Slaine thought as he felt the young alpha’s stare burn on his neck; Orange always spoke to the prisoner when he paid him a visit.

Then, as he had just thought the thought, a scent so sweet and alluring invaded his nostrils that he felt like he was given a slap over his head. It was the scent of an alpha, but it was peculiar compared to the scent he was used to feeling from an alpha. This time it felt like the scent crept straight into his brain and coiled around there like a worm, warping the omega’s thoughts and feelings into something he did not recognize.

Then, out of nowhere, Slaine lost the determination to protect his pride as it was shattered by an unknown force. While that determination rained down like shattered glass around his feet, the omega felt compelled to turn around and look at the young alpha. He could not resist it. It was impossible, like the alpha’s scent alone was intoxicating him and drawing him close. It was worse than two weeks ago; it was impossibly worse and so, so pleasant and fulfilling.

Tunnel vision struck him and all he could see when the young alpha came into view was the other’s eye watching him intently. It was filled with the same kind of animalistic nature that had made Slaine want to turn around to look at him; the alpha’s cheeks were crimson and his expression told the omega he was in heat.

An alpha going into heat… Orange had told him only the alpha who found their fated mate would go into heat like this. It did not seem to matter even if Slaine was pregnant with another alpha’s child or emitted pheromones that kept alphas calm around him. This force – whatever it was – did not pay it any heed; the two creatures knew painfully well they belonged together.

With snake-like whispers filling his mind, coaxing him to move closer to the young alpha, the omega finally took steps forward, slowly moving toward the bars in a daze. His throat began to dry when the scent of the alpha before him grew stronger as he welcomed the pheromones. The omega gasped heavily now that he had been struck by this strange force. He was completely spellbound and helpless against it, and he did not mind it the least. This was what he should do. This was what he wanted to do. It was important to him – so fundamental he could not deny it.

Strangely, his loins began to heat up like he was going into heat, and his neck itched terribly. Orange waited impatiently, holding the bars so hard his knuckles paled, and his gaze – heavy with lust – was fixed on the omega. Slaine liked that. He wanted that. He wanted Orange to only see him and no one else and never look away.

As he stopped a step away from the bars, they stared at each other in complete silence. Both breathed heavily and their bodies burned and yearned to hold the other while they were slowly more and more intoxicated by each other’s pheromones.

A new scent drifted from the young alpha who was in a heated mess, and it invaded the omega’s nose and made him release a whispering gasp out of painful lust.

Orange had a sexual smell. It was dense and heavy, making the omega’s mind so hazy Slaine could not think one single thought more to protect his pride. If Orange reached out to grab him now, Slaine would not fight back but rather gladly follow.

The blond raised his hands to grab the bars as well without breaking their eye contact, and then took the final step that separated them – leaving only the bars between them. Orange’s body heat collided with Slaine’s, made the omega crave to feel his flesh against the other’s and rub their skin together. Doing so with bars in the way was dissatisfying to the point he gritted his teeth. Orange’s body was tenderly hot and when their groins met Slaine noticed the young alpha was rock hard inside the navy blue trousers.

With that satisfying sensation sending a thrill down his spine, the omega finally began closing the distance between their faces. Closer and closer he went, with his breaths growing hotter and hotter.

He wanted him. By God, he wanted him! This urge was so great he carefully leaned closer with his lips tingling, begging him to kiss the other. Slaine was careful, though; slowly testing how impatient and trustworthy the other was, because of the omega’s past experiences with alphas. Orange did not move. He only stared at the blond and continued to impatiently wait for him to close the distance between their lips; he was still not sexually experienced to lose control over himself even in a moment like this.

When Slaine felt Orange’s breaths against his cheeks after leaning close enough, his eyes rolled up and the eyelids closed from the intense smell Orange emitted. Everything smelled good, even his breath. The omega’s mouth began to water immediately now that their lips were this close, and he finally – slowly, painfully slowly – closed the distance between their lips and brushed them lightly together.

Orange’s breath shook the moment their lips touched, and his fingers gripped the bars even tighter from the intense anticipation. When Slaine opened his eyes just slightly to look at him – to ensure he was in no danger – he saw Orange close his eye and hesitate as well.

Were they allowed to kiss? Should they? If they did, what would happen then? Would a kiss seal their fate or would it mean nothing in particular once it was over? Would it quench their urges or make flames burst out from their hearts? It was as if both of them felt this uncertainty, and both feared it as well.

The moment Orange released a long gasp of painful anticipation, Slaine could not hold back anymore: He pushed their mouths together, carefully tasting the brunet’s lips. They were dry from the desperate panting but Slaine did not mind. Instead, he gently nibbled the other’s lips with his. Once… Twice… The young alpha – inexperienced even in kissing – pushed his lips against Slaine’s each time, begging for more.

And the omega complied.

With an animalistic huff, Slaine finally reached out his tongue and wetted Orange’s lips before he plunged it into the alpha’s mouth with their lips locking together in the process. He licked the unfamiliar tongue slowly and seductively, testing the kissing habits the other would form the longer they kissed, and he found that he liked it. This inexperience was precious, and he wanted to be the one to defile it.

The omega released the bars and buried his hands into the brunet’s hair, coiling his arms around the other’s shoulders while doing so. Their kisses deepened along with the omega’s lust increasing, and they began gasping more and more desperately. Their bodies collided with the bars when they moved their hips and arms in a desperate manner, making them come together, closer than ever before. Both of them wanted to mate. They wanted to undress and mate even with the bars between them; they were too desperate to feel each other to even bother about time and place.

Just as they had melted the strange ice between them, a voice interrupted them:

“Stop this immediately!”

The omega was suddenly reminded of who he was and who the alpha before him was, and he pulled away instantly with shock taking over the sweet feeling from their kiss. Neither of them had heard the person walk toward them, which surprised them both.

Slaine stared at Orange for a while, realizing he had done something he should not, and then he looked up at Yuki who stared at them both with an expression that told them they had done something that could not be undone.

She looked terrified.

‘ _We’re already bonding!_ ’ Slaine thought shocked and hurriedly backed away from the young alpha with arms coiled around himself.

All that remained was the bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love the "I have no control over myself" problems Inaho has. xD


	12. The Count

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay (one day late). Stuff's happening in my private life which requires attention. I haven't properly proofread this chapter because of that, so I'm sorry for whatever mistakes there might be. Also, MAJOR warnings for unpleasant sh*t happening in this. If you're sensitive to blood and such, then either don't read or stop reading at the αβΩ in bold.
> 
> Also, a little list of terms just to clear up the difference and such:  
> * Arranged pair - A pair with a bond between alpha and omega who aren't fated mates.  
> * Fated pair - A pair with bond between an alpha and omega who are fated mates.  
> * Broken Heart Syndrome (also called stress-induced cardiomyopathy or takotsubo cardiomyopathy) - A heart condition caused by a severe emotionally stressful event. A part of the heart enlarges and doesn't pump well. Is rarely fatal and is treatable. I chose this to really push on how much fated mates mean to each other once they bond; to them BHS is actually a fatal threat.

It was confusing but gratifying. It was hot and exhausting. The brief moment he had felt the omega’s lips against his had been earth-shattering, and he quivered from after-shocks.

Slaine had tasted better than he had imagined; his tongue had been warm and slippery, and his lips had been made of the finest velvet. As the omega’s arms had coiled around him and claimed him, Inaho’s loins had begun to burn while the rest of his body had screamed with joy – which made him tremendously frustrated now that his sister had come to interrupt them.

Her eyes showed she was shocked to see her brother and the prisoner engage in such an indecent act,  and fright swirled in her gaze as she understood the omega’s and alpha’s behavior had been an expression of their destined bond. She knew full well they were fated mates – one of those rare and precious pairs that only existed in fairytales – and she also knew them finally touching each other like this – their first touch ever – meant they would not forget how the other felt.

‘ _His touch lingers on my skin_ ,’ Inaho thought and gasped from heat; he put his arms around his waist – just like Slaine – and pulled away from the cell, bumping his back against the wall behind him and panted from the flames of passion corrupting him rapidly. His lips felt like they were scarred by the other’s kiss. ‘ _I want more…_ ’ he thought and wished for a second kiss.

Slaine backed away from the bars, hiding as deep in his cell as he could and curled up in a corner. He was falling into heat as well despite he was pregnant, and he whimpered while battling his lust – just like Inaho.

‘ _It’s painful…_ ’ the brunet thought and groaned quietly. ‘ _I want to mate with him so bad that it hurts…_ ’

Being this out of his usual way of behaving made him feel he was at a loss. He did not recognize himself at all for losing to emotions and feelings like this, caving to them like a collapsing mountain – a character who was usually firm and in perfect control, but who now crumbled into the sea of lust and impulse.

“Nao,” Yuki said with a silent gasp and rushed up to him as Inaho’s knees were about to buckle beneath his weight.

“Sis…” he gasped with heated breaths, shivering and pathetic from Slaine’s touch. “I’m in heat again…”

“No shit,” his sister said and pulled him up from the supporting wall behind Inaho. “We need to get you away from here before you’re completely over- … -come by…”

She took a deep breath and the amber eyes glazed over. Inaho recognized that look immediately; Slaine was emitting pheromones to attract an alpha after falling into heat, affecting even his sister. The blond’s body had answered to the instincts to bond with his true mate now that it had felt Inaho’s physical presence, attracting the brunet as though the omega’s body was desperate to not lose this moment to bond with the alpha.

“Yuki…” Inaho gasped and clung to her – partly because he had no choice but also because he was wary of her. “Hurry … away from here.”

Horror struck him as Yuki released him and turned toward the cell where the omega was hiding. His sister had been overpowered by heat and had directed her interest toward Slaine who probably would not resist her if she mounted him. Desperately, Inaho took a hold of his sister’s shirt and gasped:

“Sis, you have to … haagh…!” The heat was so intense he collapsed onto his knees; his entire body was aware that his fated mate was close by. “You have to … to leave…” he continued gasping while his mind swirled with intense lust.

Yuki was not interested in listening; Slaine’s pheromones were so strong she was completely enchanted by the smell. She shook her brother’s hand off her and took steps closer to the cell, close enough she grabbed the bars while staring at the omega in the shadowy corner. Inaho looked up at her as she reached for the keys in her belt.

‘ _No! He’s mine!_ ’ the young alpha thought with panic and pushed himself up from the floor. ‘ _I won’t give him to you! He belongs to me!_ ’

Jealousy and the instinctual duty to protect what was his washed over him. Adrenaline livened up his weak and lusting body, allowing him to become strong enough to protect his fated mate from a trespasser; Slaine was his territory his instincts told him – screamed at him even.

“Get away…!” he gasped and grabbed his sister’s shirt, pulling her away from the bars. “Yuki…!”

At first, she did not move. The second time he pulled at her, she wobbled backwards. The third time, he pulled her so hard she stumbled back and hit the wall opposite of the cell. This seemed to clear her mind somewhat, and she raised a hand to her forehead and looked up at her brother, gasping from heat as well.

“N-Nao…?” she whispered while shivering.

“Get out of here,” Inaho gasped and took a hold of her. “You can’t stay.”

“Neither can … you,” she answered him and took a hold of him as well, dragging him away now that she briefly found strength. “This is unbelievable,” his sister continued once they got on the other side of the partitioning door in the corridor, blocking the prisoner’s pheromones. “You’re not yourself, Nao! You can’t let him get to you this easily!”

“You saw it yourself,” the brunet answered her while breathing deeply, as if to clear his lungs from the sweet aroma of his mate, staring at her with a meaningful look only she could decipher. “We are a fated pair. I can’t stop it from happening, and neither can he.”

Yuki pulled her hands through the long hair and rolled her eyes, before she grabbed her brother by his shoulders and stared at him the way she used to do when he was not obeying her rules.

“I understand you’re overwhelmed by his scent – so am I – but you have to control yourself. He doesn’t belong to you; do you have any idea what Häkkinen might do to you if you take his omega as your mate?” she said sternly like a guardian.

“I prefer you as my sister rather than as my mother, sis,” Inaho said, throwing her off. “The vice admiral can’t do much if I get to Slaine first. Slaine won’t answer to him; he physically can’t become pregnant with him if I bond with him. Since the superiors want him to produce children, Slaine will become useless to them, leaving him in my care.”

Even the words made his mind spin with lust, and he wobbled and took support from the wall to his right.

“Jesus…!” Yuki sighed frustrated and looked around in the corridor before turning her eyes to her brother once again. “This is becoming ridiculous. Do you know what it means to be a fated pair? That is too dangerous! I can’t allow you to-“

“I know what it means,” Inaho said and leaned his back against the wall. It felt cool against his blazing body. “Every bond is for life, but the difference with a normal bond and that of fated mates is that the latter survives the death of a partner. While other mates can move on with their lives and find new mates once their previous mate dies, a fated pair is forever bonded. While I physically can get another mate if Slaine dies, I will not search for another mate.”

Yuki gritted her teeth for a moment before she looked around the corridor again to ensure they were alone.

“That’s not all,” she hissed with a worried expression on her face. “You know the surviving mate of a fated pair has a high risk of dying from Broken Heart Syndrome. It’s most frequent in the fated mate population.”

“Yuki-“ the brunet began, but his sister would not allow him to continue:

“Considering the life he will lead in this building, he might want to try committing suicide. What if he succeeds once you two have bonded and you die from a broken heart? I don’t want to lose you, Nao. What do I have to protect in this world once you’re gone?!” she said and suddenly got tears in her eyes; she was terrified.

Inaho understood her fear. She had gotten proof of her brother and the former tyrant being fated mates, and she had accepted this truth. This in turn made her scared to lose him, as he was her only family. Inaho could not calm her in any way, since he knew as well that fated mates were completely different to other so called arranged pairs.

The alpha in an arrange pair could bond with other omegas as well, allowing them to have several mates, but the alpha in a fated pair was emotionally unable to do that; they only wanted to be with their fated mate and no one else. This made the families to fated mates considerately smaller than the families to other pairs, which also added romanticism to the fairytale of fated pairs as they were exclusive to one another.

On top of that, if a mate in an arranged pair died, the surviving mate could go on and find another mate to bond with. The mates in a fated pair – however – could not do that; the mark on the surviving omega would not fade, and the everlasting sense of adoring affinity would hinder the surviving alpha to want to bond with someone else.

According to statistics, less than one of thousand surviving mates in an arrange pair passed away by Broken Heart Syndrome; the prevalence was solely in the pairs that had lived together for the most of their lives. The prevalence was much higher in the fated mate population, with twenty-two out of hundred caving for the syndrome – making Yuki’s fear justifiable.

No matter how one looked at it, a bond between fated mates was hallowed.

However, Inaho could not empathize with his sister. He rarely did because he believed that if he allowed his decisions to be influenced by others, his decisions would not be his and his alone. Because she was basing her beliefs and thoughts on emotions rather than reason, he could not allow Yuki to influence his decisions the slightest from fear of it being the wrong decision. He had never trusted her wholeheartedly – not because she was freed from intelligence and such, but because she was messy in her emotional ways.

But then again, Inaho was basing his decision on emotions right now, so perhaps it was unfair of him to blame her for her human nature? However, his decisions were still based on _his_ emotions and not Yuki’s, which made him believe his decisions were the right ones.

‘ _It’s too late now… I can’t go back to not knowing how his touch feels like_ ,’ he helplessly thought.

“Your fear is understandable,” he said to her, trying to calm down best he could to have a dialogue with her. “But you know I can’t ignore him being my fated mate. This heat comes from my longing to be with him, and might make me ill if I’m not allowed to bond with him.”

“But it won’t kill you, unlike a bond with him might! You don’t even love each other,” she said and looked at him with a heavy frown on her face, staring at him with great worry over her kin’s life.

“He might die, though,” the brunet answered. “He might commit suicide if we won’t bon-“

“Then so be it!” Yuki exclaimed with a slight hint of aggression born from worry in her voice. “I bet he won’t mind it considering the hell he’s gone through and will go through. I think it might even be a relief for him to end his life. How can he ever be happy in this suffocating prison? Do you realize he will spend decades in here until he’s grown grey hair and succumbs to death at an old age without ever seeing the outside world again? You can’t possibly wish that kind of eternity on him if you care about him!”

Inaho stared at her while his heat began to subside from the harsh truth she spoke. What she described was what would await Slaine if the prisoner was not allowed some change in the confinement he lived in. It would wither away his soul and probably even kill him before his time was to end. How would anyone be able to survive an empty life without anything to live for?

‘ _But that is if nothing happens to change his current life in here_ ,’ the brunet thought determined, and finally said:

“I will make him happy, as he will make me happy.”

Those were his final words, and Yuki stared at him in silence, not even blinking as she understood how delusional her brother had become from finding his fated mate. She knew he had decided to bond with the prisoner, and she knew – no matter what she told him – he would not change his mind. She had tried to talk him out of dangerous situations before – situations she did not approve of – but Inaho had never strayed from the paths he had taken. She knew this all too well, which made her look at him with hopelessness.

“You can’t be serious…” she sighed whispering and pulled away from him, leaning against the wall behind her and stared up at the ceiling in an attempt to hold back tears; she knew she had lost the battle, and instead of continuing to fight uphill, she said: “I’ll drive you home; you’re a mess from the heat.”

Inaho complied, knowing he could not stay in this prison and clumsily reveal to everyone he and Slaine were fated mates before they had bonded; he had to calm down before he would try to persuade Slaine into bonding with him again.

αβΩ

No matter how much he tried to reason with his instincts, they would not grant him a break. Slaine had stayed huddled up in the dark corner for a while now, unable to get up and continue cleaning the cell like he had wished to do before Orange had shown up in a state of complete mess. His own heat had scorched him severely; he had tried to relieve it many times now to the point his cock felt sore, and he could not touch it anymore without feeling like he burned it with his own touch.

His fated mate had been right there on the other side of the bars, ready to bond with him. If Yuki had not shown up right then, Slaine would have probably belonged to the young alpha by now. It was a thought he loved and hated at the same time; he was still drunk with the aftereffects of the heat.

‘ _How pathetic…_ ’ he thought, scolding himself for having given up so easily to the other’s scent. ‘ _I couldn’t stop myself… Next time, I won’t be able to stop myself either._ ’

If it continued like this, it would be only a matter of time until he and Orange would bond. Once that happened his independence would be gone, and he could not allow that to happen. His pride of a free omega was all that he had to fight for, and so he would fight for it until the end.

Or so he hoped…

‘ _I don’t want to see him again_ ,’ he thought and tried to wipe away the image of the young alpha from his mind, but realized immediately he was lying; he thought he would grow miserable from longing before he got to see Orange again.

Steps echoed in the corridor, and Slaine recognized them as Yuki’s. Was she back? What about his pheromones?; she had tried to get to him earlier. Instead of waiting for her to show up on the other side of the bars, he curled up some more with his arms over his head. He felt mortified.

‘ _Go away!_ ’

She stopped outside his cell and was probably watching him during the silence that lay heavy over them both. The blond did not dare to look at her as he suspected her to rest a harsh glare on him, but after a while he heard her say:

“I can’t persuade him to not bond with you. He’s always been like that; always followed his own path and never listened to those around him. He’s stubborn like that. But if I can’t persuade him to forget you, then at least I can try to persuade you: Don’t take my brother away from me.”

Slaine’s heart began to beat wildly in his chest; his entire frame shook from the beats as horrible angst took hold of him from hearing her speak to him in such a straightforward manner. Her voice was calm but heavy with authority, reminding him she was an alpha. A weak whiff of oppressing pheromones reached his nostrils, and he held his breath; she was determined enough her pheromones warned him to disobey her.

“He deserves someone who loves him and will make him happy,” she continued after a long pause. She had probably waited for him to say something, but as Slaine had stayed silent, she had decided to continue speaking. “You will never make that come true, and I know you know that. You’re too broken to make anyone happy the way you are now.”

Her angry words stung his heart like angry bees, and he expressed this by clutching his hair tighter and releasing his breath in a silent whimper. It was not his fault for being this broken; the conditions that had been given to him by society had torn him apart. It was not his fault for what others had done to him! It was not his fault for being born as an omega!

“I know I may sound unfair,” Yuki continued when Slaine did not utter a word again. “What others have done to you is not your fault, but you have to understand I care about him more than I will ever care about you. You have nothing to offer him, and he doesn’t realize that because of the spell from you being fated mates. So please, don’t bond with him.”

Slaine understood her. Perhaps a little too well even. Despite her words cut deep wounds in his heart, he could not blame her for saying the truth; no matter how harsh she sounded, she did not say these hurtful things to scorn him. He had nothing to offer anyone. He could not make anyone happy, nor could he give them love and affection because he was clueless of how to; all he knew was anger. The crimes he had done in Asseylum’s name should have been proof enough of how clueless he could be when trying to do something for someone he loved; he was solely destructive.

“What is your answer, Troyard?” she demanded, and Slaine felt tears form in his eyes. “I won’t leave until we have come to an understanding.”

The blond hesitated for a while, and Yuki waited patiently for him to collect his thoughts and come to a decision. He knew she was right; he could never make Orange happy no matter how much he tried, and he was not sure he wanted to try either. They were enemies after all; he had not forgotten that … even if that felt so far away now after their first kiss that it hardly mattered anymore.

“I’m trying…” he finally whispered with trembling breaths. He took a deep breath to ease his aching heart, before continuing: “I can only obey their orders, and … if they decide to do something to or with me, I can’t stop them. The same goes for him; I can’t stop him if he decides to bond with me – not after what happened today…” A sob escaped him, and he quickly tried to control his breaths to stop a loud cry from bursting out from between his lips. “I’m really trying to accept the life with the alpha that has been chosen for me, but it’s hard… I g-guess I’ll try a little harder… I’m sorry. I’m just scared…”

“I believe you are,” the guard answered. “And I’m really sorry for asking you to choose someone like Häkkinen to be your mate rather than my brother, who no doubt _will_ treat you better. But I’m bias in his favor because he _is_ my brother and only family. I’m terrified of losing him.”

Slaine nodded, understanding her yet again. He would forever be in Asseylum’s favor as well, always protect her from those who disagreed with her and sacrifice everything for her – even people around him he supposedly cared about. Why would Yuki not be allowed to do the same with her brother? The blond knew he was not worth a dime anyway.

Despite knowing that, he could not help but to feel utter despair.

“He should have killed me that night on the beach when we crash-landed on Earth. I did ask him to shoot me and was relieved to die there and then, but he put me in here instead, and look what that resulted in…” he said with a blameful tone. “I will never forgive him for condemning me like this.”

The bars were hit by strong hands, and the omega flinched and looked up. Yuki was glaring at him angrily while holding the bars.

“How dare you say something like that?!; belittling his feelings like they mean nothing,” she shouted. “Why the hell do you think he couldn’t kill you? What do you think he saw in those eyes back then?! He told me Asseylum asked him to save you, and he tried, but by God do I know he realized that night he had to honor more than her request!” Slaine stared at her; confused and shocked of seeing her so angry over something he believed he had the right to say. After finally being allowed to vent out her outburst, she said quietly: “Of course he couldn’t kill you back then… When he finally got the chance to properly look you in the eyes, he knew he was staring at something important, even if he probably didn’t understand it back then that he was staring at his fated mate.”

So he was not allowed to blame his captor? What else was he not allowed to express? She was unfair right now – she really was – and this angered the cornered blond. He forgot all about her love for her brother and her duty to protect him from people like Slaine, and felt instead the all too familiar anger begin to sizzle.

“Fine…” he sighed and dried his tears and then stared at his hands as he began rubbing them together without knowing what else to do; he was close to blowing apart from anger. “I’ll accept the vice admiral all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed next time. That way your brother will be left alone.”

The alpha glared at him in silence for a while more, before she turned around to leave with the words:

“I’ll hold you to that.”

It was unfair. She was leaving after putting the responsibility in his hands, just like everyone else. How more bullshit did he have to take? How much more pain did he have to go through before he would be allowed to catch a break?

With anger now finally boiling out of nowhere, wiping away the feeling of vulnerability entirely, he dashed up to the bars with a body shaking from fury, and he screamed:

“We are told that we matter, that we omegas are the backbone of our nation because we carry and give birth to our world’s future citizens!” Yuki stopped dead in her tracks. “They tell us we don’t have to go along with what anyone says because of society’s prejudice, that we are free to decide our own fate and choose who we want as our mates! Yet, somewhere behind all those pretty words, we are expected to be obedient and pretty, to spread our legs for anyone who approaches us, to give birth to more of you. If we don’t, we are punished! You damn alphas have it easy! You don’t have to do a damn thing in this world except stroll down the street where you’re worshipped for your so called superiority! You get everything served on a silver platter – even the right to push away the responsibility to honor human rights and put it all on the omegas’ shoulders to spin your damn world for you by giving you what you want!”

“Shut up!” the alpha growled.

“No! You shut up!” the furious Slaine answered. “What the hell can an omega believe in when you’re all God damn hypocrites?!”

“Omega this and omega that!” Yuki yelled and turned around, storming up to the cell. “How dare you consider me like a rapist just because I was born an alpha?! How dare you go into personal aggression like that; you’re a grown young man, are you not?! You think we have it easy, huh?; that we’re just born as successful leaders?! Well, I’ve got news for you, omega!” Slaine backed away from her to avoid her hands in case she would take a hold of him to hit him. “You have no damn idea of how much pressure we have on us! Do you know how the world treats an alpha who can’t climb the ladder of success? You think it’s easy to constantly perform and be productive, and to make your parents proud and the society too?! We never get a break! Never! If we can’t perform, we’ll be branded as useless because society thinks they own us! You think omegas are the sole slaves of society, but you forget that so are we! We’re just as pressured as omegas to find a mate and reproduce, and we’re constantly expected to change the world to the better!”

“And that gives you the right to abuse omegas?!” Slaine yelled angrily. “There’s a difference in protecting a pride and protecting a life! We are the ones who are beaten to death! We are the ones who are taken without our consent! We are the ones who get our genitalia mutilated to control our sexuality and we are abused, neglected and forced to give birth to the likes of you, who will rape, mutilate, abuse and neglect the future generation of us! If your pride was as solid as the omega’s throat you squeeze, I would have shoved that pride of yours down your throat to suffocate you with it, since that would have been nothing but fair!”

“You’re punishing us alphas collectively! Not all of us are like that! The world is growing in awareness and wants to protect all of us!” Yuki yelled back. “I don’t know what shit you’ve gone through in the hands of alphas, but you-!”

Slaine began undressing, angrily and agitatedly throwing his clothes at her to reveal his scars and bruises and scabs.

“This is what they’ve done to me!” he yelled with tears in his eyes, exposing his roughed skin to her. “And inside here-!” he continued and put his hand onto his belly. “There’s a child – born from rape – growing, who might take my life once it’s born or cripple me forever because of the scarring in my birth canal from countless of rapists! All of this…!” he took a deep breath and dried his tears. “Do you think it’s comparable to your damn pride as alphas?!” Yuki stayed silent this time, only staring at him with surprise. “It rots… Because of all this, everything in me rots – because of you! Don’t you dare tell me to cope, since that is all we omegas do! Why do you think we stay obedient and silent?!: We only care when we’re reminded that it hurts being an omega, and we’re numb every other hour of the day while we take the beating, since that’s what pain does to you! There’s so many stereotypes of us omegas that even half of them would have been too many, so to hell with you and your pressure!”

Yuki stared at him in silence and her anger was slightly subsiding even if she held onto it out of principles. Slaine knew he had hurt her, but he did not give a damn. Why should he care about others who only wished unhappiness on him?

“Put your clothes back on…” she grumbled, but Slaine refused.

‘ _To hell with all of this! To hell with you, Orange, Häkkinen, the child, the personnel…! To hell with all of you!_ ’ he thought infuriated.

“All right…” he said quietly, flashing to her a mischievous and sad smile: “I’ll show you how much an omega can fight you alphas; I’ll show you how much it hurts and then I’ll ask you to compare it to your pain.” With an arrogant glare, he raised his head up and sneered at her, saying with the tone of an alpha – the tone of Count Saazbaum Troyard: “You might be an alpha, but you act like a useless beta.”

Yuki gave him a poisonous look before turning on her heel, and she walked away with brusque steps and disappeared through the door further down the corridor. Slaine dropped the arrogant act and sighed, and then slumped against the wall behind him with his hand over his stomach.

“Damn it…!” he whispered and curled up again to cry, not bothering to get dressed.

αβΩ

“He has completely shut down,” the psychologist said with a heavy sigh. “I haven’t been able to reach him at all for the past week.”

“Me neither,” the obstetrician said quietly, looking gloomy. “Even his nesting behavior is gone. He should be remodeling his cell like crazy right now, but he just lies there and hasn’t even touched the furniture, nor does he eat.”

It was a week after Inaho had had the tormenting pleasure to finally touch Slaine. Just like during his last heat, his body had gone out of control and forced him to take a week off from work to calm his blazing body. He had been able to return to work as late as yesterday, and had now decided to revisit the blond out of an animalistic need to protect him. This need had woken up out of nowhere. It was completely different to the jealousy he had felt thus far; he felt like a dog worrying about its territory or food bowl; Slaine was his and no one else’s.

This urgent need to protect Slaine was boiling in him right at this moment; the vice admiral was visiting, and Slaine was obeying him to dangerous levels. Inaho was out right fearful of Slaine giving up and letting the old alpha mark him and bond with him.

‘ _It can’t get any more obvious than this_ ,’ he thought and still felt a tingly sensation on his lips that lingered after the kiss he had shared with the omega a week ago, wishing he was allowed to push his lips onto Slaine’s neck and bite him before the vice admiral did. ‘ _We are fated mates. It can’t be ignored anymore_.’

“Is he cooperating during the checkups?” Inaho asked the obstetrician, who shook his head and sighed:

“He doesn’t; he’s like a ragdoll when touched.”

“I believe he’s gone apathetic,” the psychologist said and flipped through some notes.

“You know…” the obstetrician said quietly and leaned back on his chair with a downhearted expression. “I am certain he will try to kill himself any day now. He won’t pull through this; no one’s that strong. The way he fought Vice Admiral Häkkinen just moments ago and then gave up completely was painful to look at through the surveillance camera.”

“Does he write anything in the notebook he was given?” Inaho asked, but everyone took a deep breath to sigh simultaneously.

“He writes in it,” the doctor said, and the psychologist continued:

“But he refuses to show it to anyone; he’s guarding it and glares at you if you ask about it.”

“We have decided to leave it alone and let him have the notebook in private. The room goes completely chilly when he stares at you like that; he feels like Count Saazbaum Troyard each time he does, and he’s far more terrifying than any alpha I’ve met,” the doctor said with a shiver. “You can see that he’s thinking when he looks at you, and to have Count Saazbaum Troyard watching you like that… I get goosebumps just from thinking about it.”

“Something’s up,” the psychologist mumbled with a troubled expression. “Something has happened to him. I have deep concerns of Vice Admiral Häkkinen visiting him right now; I tried to stop him from going into Troyard’s cell, but the man refuses to listen. He’s underestimating Troyard’s current state, thinking he’s too afraid to fight back like the last time he made a visit, but I suspect something is going on.”

The room went quiet as they all thought the same thing and felt the graveness of it: Häkkinen was dangerous to the prisoner, just as the prisoner was dangerous to Häkkinen.

‘ _I have to do something!_ ’ Inaho thought and felt a chill down his spine from hearing what had been going on in this prison during the past week.

**αβΩ**

His shoulders hurt. So did his wrists that were cuffed with restraints after a harsh battle moments earlier. His hands rested on the mattress of the bed above his head, and his face was pushed against the bed sheet while his body was taken by the old alpha standing behind him. He had pushed the obedient omega’s upper body down onto the bed, bending him by the waist to get access to his ass, and strong hands had gripped his hips and pulled him onto the alpha’s rock hard cock that plowed through his flesh in search for pleasure.

The vice admiral was back and made his first visit today. Slaine had, out of fury, fought him and bitten him on his arm when the man had reached out to him, and he had not stopped until the vice admiral had demanded to have him cuffed – according to Slaine’s plan. He had known the man was too obstinate to leave his omega alone; he would mount him and exercise power over him like the desperate man he was – just like every alpha was according to Slaine – and would do anything to win over him. Once he had been captured and restrained by a guard’s handcuffs, he had gone obedient and let the old man do what he wanted.

The keys to the metallic cuffs rested in Häkkinen’s breast pocket; the blond was aware of them being there.

Slaine absentmindedly stared at the light in the corridor on the other side of the bars. He had noticed it was comfortable to fix his eyes on, staring at it like a lost bug attracted to the brightness of a lightbulb. In that way, he could hide deep inside his own body and wade through limbo while the alpha was taking what he came for after a while of absence. That light helped him to be focused; to not let his mind give way to fear or regrets.

He had already made up his mind; he would not abandon the battlefield this time.

As he laid there – body rocking from the alpha’s movements – he counted all the things he believed the light represented: The beginning. The end. Love, life, death and faith. Perhaps it had a little ounce of hope in it as well, and a little bit of goodness. It could serve as a guide to the misdirected, like a lighthouse guiding ships to safety, and he wondered if it could represent God as well?

Of all these things, what did it represent to him? What about life? Not that; he was ready to die. Not even love and faith, hope or goodness mattered to him, and there was no beginning and no end in here. God? He believed in no such thing, seeing it too archaic to fear a deity that had abandoned him if they were real. Then death? That was too dramatic.

‘ _Safety?_ ’ he wondered and winced as the alpha’s cock pushed a little too deep into him; his body was shallow without the heat. Without releasing the light with his eyes, he felt his body relax again after the pain subsided. ‘ _Yes, safety…_ ’

A hand grabbed him by his hair out of nowhere, and he released a tired sigh as his head was pulled back; made him lose sight of the light. Instead, he stared at the wall before him for a short while, but then closed his eyes as he disliked the sight of cold stone.

“You have become quite docile now,” he heard the alpha say behind him before he stopped moving his hips after burying his meat deep into the omega. “You are becoming a bore.”

‘ _Good…_ ’ the omega thought and waited for the alpha to finish.

“Where is that sweet voice of yours when you moan and gasp beneath me from fear?” the alpha then continued with a purr, right next to his right ear. “Or that feisty attitude of yours I met when I came to see you?”

When Slaine did not answer, his hair was released and let his head fall down onto the mattress again. Immediately, he turned his face toward the corridor to his right to stare at the light again.

The vice admiral reached past him with a shirt-covered arm and blocked his view of the light, and Slaine closed his eyes this time and felt his body rest heavily against the bed instead. The alpha’s hand took a hold of the chain between the handcuffs and pushed it further up, stretching Slaine’s arms against the stone wall behind the bed, demeaning him.

“Amuse me, omega,” the man purred again and brushed the prisoner’s overgrown hair back to take a look at the face hiding beneath it. His fingers were gentle and light, barely touching the omega’s skin. Slaine did not open his eyes or answer. “What do I have to do for you to humor me?”

When Slaine continued staying quiet, the alpha seemed to grow bored and lowered his body onto the omega’s back. He could feel the disgusting heat of the other’s body against his naked skin, radiating warmth like carcass that was yet to grow cold. Such was the nature of the disgusting feeling that crept over him each time he felt the old alpha’s body heat against his skin.

A wet tongue against his ear alarmed him and made him open his eyes from shock as he grew nervous of what the alpha was doing. A second lick against the sensitive part behind his ear sent a shiver down his spine, and his breaths halted. A third lick, right beneath the skull bone behind his ear, made his body tense, and a fourth lick – further down toward his neck – made him release his breath and take a deep breath.

“What if I decide to mark you right here?” the alpha asked, and the omega’s body shook with fear.

‘ _Don’t give in!_ ’ Slaine told himself and gritted his teeth as he fought the terrifying sensation of being marked. ‘ _It should not matter if he marks me. It will not matter at all by tomorrow, so stay calm!_ ’ After the kiss he had shared with Orange, he had begun to feel a strange form of affinity with him, like they had opened up to a bond, and his instincts told him to brutally reject the vice admiral as he belonged with Orange and no one else. ‘ _My body tells me to fight the mark of someone else; it only craves for Orange_.’ It was like he was already bonded with the other in a weak way; they only needed the bite to fulfill it.

“Don’t…” Slaine mumbled with a barely audible voice, but an amused chuckle answered him:

“Your pleas grow old and boring quite quickly if you are this docile,” the alpha whispered right beneath the omega’s ear, and the blond was bowing for the will of his instincts by trying to pull the chain free from the alpha’s grip to cover his neck. “I think I might do that just now,” the vice admiral said amused when noticing how the omega was prepared to resist him.

A finger tickled Slaine’s neck, right where the mark was supposed to be if a bond was to be made. The omega writhed, trying to pull the chain free again, but he was too weak in this position to succeed. The realization of being completely helpless came over him, and he felt tears form in his eyes. No matter what he did, the alpha would mark him if he wanted to.

‘ _Reject it!_ ’ he thought with a heartbeat that fastened. He hoped the slight illusion of a bond he had with Orange would protect him from accepting the abusive alpha’s mark. ‘ _If he bites me, I’ll reject it!_ ’

“No…” the omega gasped with a trembling breath. “Stop it.”

“Why?” the alpha murmured and let his tongue lick him from his shoulder and up to behind his ear. The omega yelped at that, shaking his arms in a desperate attempt to break free while the coldness of the old man’s trail of saliva made him feel disgusted. His instincts were growing larger. “But I have lost interest in your tame attitude. There is no thrill left,” the old man continued.

Immediately at hearing the alpha open his mouth, the omega began struggling. He pulled at the chains, moved his hips to push the man off him, and tried to knock his head against the other’s jaw. Instead, the alpha took a tighter grip around the chain of the cuffs and grabbed the omega’s hair to pull his head aside and reveal his neck. Then, with a forceful thrust, he groaned disgustingly and licked the omega’s neck again.

“S-stop!” Slaine cried out, slowly freezing up from horror as he felt the pheromones of the alpha burst into the air. It smelled disgusting; he wanted Orange, not this man! “Stop!”

He could feel the teeth graze against his neck, and then lips nibbled on his skin while a moist breath brushed it with disgusting warmth. All hairs stood on end as Slaine felt his world shake to its core, and he released a loud cry from terror without knowing what else to do. A cold trail of saliva slithered down his skin again as the alpha began moving behind him, pushing his cock into him again over and over again, reaching into the omega’s depths while the pitiful creature’s screams grew silent for each thrust and lick or nibble.

‘ _I_ will _reject him! It doesn’t matter!_ ’ he chanted in his mind as his voice disappeared. ‘ _Let him bite you. It won’t matter tomorrow!_ ’

The alpha was teasing him and building up the fear for the mark by only gently nibbling his skin with teeth and licking and sucking on it while fucking him rhythmically. Tears sprung to the omega’s eyes and he felt himself slowly cease to be a human and become a frightened animal instead. His reasoning stopped functioning, and the fear grew so grand he became confused of what emotion he felt, numbing him. All he knew was he had to run away, but it was impossible; his arms were locked in their position, his head was pulled to the side by a ruthless hand, and his body was pinned down by the cock and weight of the alpha.

“NO, NO, NO! PLEASE, NO!” he suddenly screamed as teeth grazed his neck hard enough it hurt. “LET ME GO!” he repeated as his first plea had not been answered.

He was in such panic now that he felt the alpha’s teeth this harshly that he had no idea what he was really saying. His thoughts could not keep him calm anymore as his reason gave way to instincts.

Laugher reached his ear instead of the soothing words he really needed to hear, and he turned his eyes to the light in the corridor. The light. The only safety he had… But as he saw the light, he noticed a shadow behind the corner next to the bars and recognized the woman’s shocked eyes staring at him. Both of her hands covered her mouth, as if she was attempting to hold back a scream. As he got eye contact with her, he grew silent and numb again.

This was what she wanted – in order to protect her brother. Slaine would give up his freedom and soul to someone else so that her brother would not be defiled by the unwanted omega, she thought. She would not interfere with what was going on.

But… Then why could she not turn her back on him and walk away? She stood there, with tears in her eyes as she watched the alpha terrorize the omega with teeth, lips and tongue.

The blond wanted to yell at her to save him, but he could not voice his words as he knew she would not care about his pleas – just like on Castle Cruhteo. Instead, he watched her while the alpha kept on raping him and assaulting his neck, and in the end – when the alpha released his seed into the omega – she turned away and disappeared from sight. Slaine’s terrified gaze was locked onto the spot where she had been hiding when the vice admiral released his body.

He had ended up not biting the omega – being able to hold himself back despite the temptation as he was not under the influence of an omega’s pheromones.

αβΩ

The door opened into the conference room and Inaho looked up to see his sister’s frantic gaze search for him inside the room. When they got eye contact, she cocked her head back to ask him to step out into the corridor to have a talk in private, and Inaho complied and excused himself from the room.

When he closed the door behind him and turned to look at her, he noticed she was recovering from an episode of crying.

“Nao…” she whispered with shock in her expression and hands trembling. “The vice admiral… I’m not sure if he just marked him or not…”

Inaho body grew cold and he immediately took a step toward Slaine’s cell. Jealousy and fury burst out of nowhere, claiming him entirely. Someone was trying to take his mate away from him by trying to mark him first, and he could not accept it. He had to get there as soon as possible to interrupt the acceptance process in the omega; if he could get there right this moment, he could prevent the bond from forming between Slaine and Häkkinen if a mark had been made – unless Slaine rejected the man by himself.

“Nao, stop!” she exclaimed and reached out a hand to stop him. “If you go there now, I know you will do something that will result in you being fired. Even if this aggression is not like the usual you, I do understand your reaction anyway. Think about it; what will happen if you can’t come back here?”

Inaho turned to look at her again, knowing she was speaking the truth.

“I thought this is what you wanted?” he asked, and Yuki frowned and felt uncomfortable as she knew her brother was blaming her for what she had said when Inaho had fallen into another heat. “You don’t want us to bond.”

Yuki took a deep breath and turned her gaze away, clearly feeling ashamed.

“I talked to him right after I drove you home that day,” she said quietly and dried her tears. “I asked him to accept the bond with Häkkinen instead of letting you mark him. That way I could save you. But…” She took another deep breath and let go of her brother. “All the things he has said ever since I got to know him… Even the things he said that day are still ringing in my mind and haunting me.”

“You told him to accept _him_?” Inaho asked, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically angry at his sister. She had betrayed him by saying such things to Slaine. “That hurts, sis. You know he is my mate.”

Yuki chewed on her lower lip for a short while and closed her eyes, and then pulled the slender fingers through her hair and said:

“I have seen a lot of death and seen the terror of dying in people’s eyes,” she said quietly. “But just now… His expression was something completely different; the terror in it was somehow more striking than the terror of death.” She hugged her arms around her, and whispered: “I’ve never seen someone that scared and vulnerable before… And … I don’t want him to…”

Inaho knew she could not voice it out loud, since it went against what she truly wished for. He also knew he had to obey her for now; he would not be able to handle his fury toward the vice admiral in this state; his instincts as an alpha who wanted to protect their mate were stronger than his reason.

‘ _I have to be really careful right now_.’

Suddenly, the alarm went off and they could hear the steps of the guards that began running down the corridor further away. Yuki was quick to run as well, and Inaho was not late to follow.

αβΩ

The rustling of a shirt being properly tucked into a pair of pants reached his ears. The alpha’s fixing of messy clothes sounded raspy against the omega’s eardrums where he lay, shaken by the immense terror of nearly being marked. The omega stared at empty air while shaking vividly; he was curled up on the bed and trembled like a frozen bluebird with tears that glued his overgrown hair against his cheeks and temples. His hands – already released from the metal cuffs that lay on the bed next to him – were tightly knitted together into an unintentional prayer with knuckles as white as a ghost’s. His thighs were pushed against each other, protecting the wet and sticky area that had just been assaulted.

A sense of loss lingered in his mind; the loss of control. With the determination that had lasted for only a week, he had had some form of control over his fate; as long as he had been thinking about his plan he had had the feeling of control.

With this loss of control, he was close to losing his autonomy; his independence; his freedom. He only had his pride left, and he would fight until the end. Now, this pride had been wounded, and in a desperate last attempt to uphold it, he released his knitted hands and quaveringly pushed his body up from the bed.

‘ _I want to kill you_ ,’ he thought and stared at the back of the vice admiral where the man sat on the edge of the bed.

The vice admiral deserved a punishment for what he had done. By punishing him, he had his last piece of control over his identity; he had not been able to fight back during the emotional torture moments earlier, but now that he was free he could exercise this freedom one last time.

He shuffled up closer to the alpha, staring at him with the eyes of a cornered feline, and then finally put his hands gently onto the other’s broad shoulders. The alpha flinched from surprise but did not push the omega away, and Slaine finally parted his knees to either side of the alpha’s hips and leaned against his back.

“Given up now, omega?” the alpha asked when Slaine rubbed his forehead against the alpha’s back and pushed his body against the man’s while being busy with trying to collect courage to act out one last time to protest against this wretched fate that had been decided for him. He had promised to show Yuki, and he would not let it become a lie. “Mm…” the man then purred as Slaine coiled his arms around his neck in a loving fashion.

The omega raised his head and looked down at the alpha’s neck. It was red from the exertion of the rape; still flushed. Slowly, he lowered his lips toward it and then bared his teeth, and then – as quickly as he could – he pushed them against the flesh and bit down as hard as he could.

A painful scream emitted from the alpha’s throat. Slaine could feel the vibration from the vocal cords on the trembling skin he was biting, and he pushed his teeth deeper and deeper until he felt blood trickle out from the wounds that formed as his teeth ripped some skin off. If he killed him – chewed through the old man’s neck – he would be free for a little while more and prove his point to those in charge of him that he was still an omega who was ready to fight. With that intent, he put as much force into his bite as he could, cutting his teeth deeper and deeper while the alpha began thrashing and continued screaming and growling from pain.

He was the one marked now; Slaine’s bite would never fade from the man’s neck, and a large sense of satisfaction crept over the blond.

With determination to murder, the omega clung to the alpha’s back to prevent the man from throwing him off and escape. A sharp elbow hit him against his ribs, forcing a groan out of him, and then another. Just like that, the alpha continued beating him while he kept on deepening his bite as it began to chew through flesh, and in the end the omega grew weak from exhaustion from the pain and was brutally thrown onto the floor.

Slaine landed on his back – resulting in the wind being knocked out of him – and a sharp pain coursed through his spine. He stayed on the floor, gasping and staring up at the ceiling while his lips were covered with the alpha’s blood, and spit out the little blood and pieces of skin that had pooled in his mouth from the bite. The alpha growled with fury and fear, so loud it reverberated in the cell and corridor.

The alarm had not gone off yet and the omega could not hear the steps of the guards yet.

Instead, he heard a belt clatter somewhere to his left, and he looked up at the alpha in time to see how he furiously released the leather belt from the belt loops. He had time to register the white shirt being soaked in blood from the right side of the alpha’s neck, before – two seconds later – a sharp hit made him gasp as the belt whipped him over his face. He instantly curled up to protect his body from the beating, crying out with each lash hitting him and listened to the alpha growl and curse at him.

He ran through his options quickly, trying to decide what he should do with the extra time he had left before the guards would come to separate him and the vice admiral. He had already stopped caring about the child, so he did not bother protecting it anymore. It was still all right; it had no heartbeat yet, which made him able to allow prioritizing his own life. Eighteen years of life was a greater loss than the seven weeks of a lump without a heart; his life should have been worth so much more compared to a life that was not even certain it would come to be. He could not protect it in here if he wished to protect himself; it was in the way of him fighting the vice admiral, and he could do nothing else but to fight.

His inability to decide what to do continued for a short while until his skin began to swell and his muscles ached. Even his voice went quiet as his mind was slowly numbed, but once the beating stopped and the vice admiral stepped back from him, he felt something was horribly wrong with him.

A strange wetness began spreading between his legs. It was slight in sensation, but it was palpable enough to cause alarm. When he looked out from between his arms, the shock was obvious in the alpha’s expression. The man was staring at the omega’s lower body, which alarmed the blond some more.

Slowly – carefully – he reached a trembling hand between his legs while keeping an eye on the alpha to make sure he would not be attacked. As the alpha did not move, the omega finally reached between his legs and felt a sticky wetness there. When he raised his hand, his fingertips were bright red.

There it was. Finally, he had miscarried.

Slaine pushed his exhausted body up from the floor and looked down between his legs. Blood. Somehow, he did not feel shocked or too bothered by it as he had come to terms with this during his time with the notebook. He had turned every thought he had upside down to study what it truly meant and what he really wanted to do, and he had decided to continue fighting – just like previously. He would not sit obediently and wait for a child that was not his to break his body apart, and he would not lie down to be fucked by anyone just to protect the nameless being within him.

‘ _My life belongs to me_.’

Now, he was free from the oppressive duty of protection, and he finally looked up at the alpha with the harshest glare he could muster. The alpha stared at the blood with his face pale from both shock and the bleeding from his neck. He said nothing and a heavy atmosphere settled in the cell. The belt clattered to the floor.

A sudden cramp made Slaine’s stomach ache and he felt nauseous. The cramping lasted for a couple of seconds and then dissipated. Just as he thought it was gone, a second much harsher cramping started, and he gasped as he had not felt this kind of feeling for a long time; it felt like his menstruations used to when he had been on the contraceptives nearly three years ago. He was not certain if this was normal because he had never miscarried before and been kept from learning what these kinds of symptoms might mean, but somehow his body was alarming him anyway; an instinct told him something was severely wrong.

Despite this, he gritted his teeth and strongly raised his body to stand tall in the face of his enemy. The vice admiral’s face could not get any paler than it was, but the man was obviously terrified of what was going on. He knew he had lost his child. He knew the prisoner was angry. He knew … Slaine was dangerous.

Slaine – just like every other omegas and probably female betas as well – had been taught to be at fault when these things happened. They were not mother enough to keep the child. They were apparently the failures, not the ones causing these kinds of symptoms. But the vice admiral had killed it. _He_ had hit Slaine in the stomach. _He_ had thrown him to the floor. _He_ had whipped him with a belt. _He_ had raped him and made this happen to begin with.

To hell with that! Slaine was a victim, and he settled with that role as it gave him the right to act accordingly.

“You…” he gasped and frowned with pain as the cramping continued, not releasing the man from his condemning glare. “For all these months … ever since I became pregnant … you have continued abusing me…”

A hellish fire was igniting within him now that he was allowed to voice his thoughts, driving him to get the strength he needed to claim his revenge the hotter it burned. Blood trickled down the inside of his thighs as he moved.

The vice admiral stared at him with fright and took a step back as the omega walked closer. Whatever was reflected in Slaine’s eyes made the alpha hesitant of what to do. Slaine, however, knew exactly what he had to do:

Staggering, he managed to close the distance between him and the alpha. Häkkinen stared at him as if he was terrified of the bleeding omega, and the blond was not sure if it was because of the look in his eyes or because of his terribly vulnerable state. This allowed the omega to finally shove the alpha back, hitting the man’s chest with both of his hands. The force made the alpha stagger back, and Slaine stepped closer and shoved him again.

“Murderer…” the blond hissed angrily, feeling how the hellfire finally reached his heart. “What a big man you are…” he continued and shoved him a third time, staring at the staggering man with murderous feelings darkening his mind. “Big, big alpha… Such a big male alpha…!” The vice admiral was so shocked of what was going on he could not say a word or do anything. “Murdering your own child…” Then finally, the hellfire broke free and consumed him, numbing the pain in his stomach, and he squeezed his hand into a fist and swung it against the man, hitting him in the jaw. “There is no heart within you!” Slaine yelled with a strong voice that echoed down the corridor when Häkkinen stumbled backward and hit his back against the bed. “How blind can you be?! To rape and abuse someone that’s pregnant is a sin greater than anything!”

The vice admiral was about to say something this time, but Slaine gave him no time to even let a word escape from the old man’s mouth as it mattered nothing to him. Instead, the blond hit him again with the back of his hand, adding as much strength into the hit as he possible could. Blood trailed down the old man’s eye from the hit against his brow.

When the alpha was disoriented from the hit, Slaine backed away with hurried steps and picked up the belt from the floor. Instead of holding the same end of it as the alpha had moments earlier, he let the belt buckle swing next to him while holding to the other end. Then he stared at the man and let the hate flow, and he threw the belt back and swung it against the alpha. Immediately, a trail of blood followed the hit as the buckle slammed against the alpha’s face, and the man dropped down onto the floor with a loud scream.

An alarm went off. Slaine instantly knew the guards would stop his one-man rampage before he could feel satisfied. Something glimmered in the brightness from the light outside the cell, drawing his attention to the bed where he saw the handcuffs. Without hesitation, he grabbed them and the keys and hurriedly put them around the bar to the cell door and the bar on the wall to prevent anyone from getting in there. He had to plug the keyholes somehow, and instantly hurried to the bed and ripped a page out of the notebook. With small pieces of paper he hurriedly rolled between his fingers, he stuffed the keyholes with them to plug them up just in time to hear the hurrying steps of the guards on the other side of the door down the corridor.

Then, he turned his attention back to the howling alpha on the floor.

The blond was so angry he could not contain it in any way. With angry steps, he got back to the alpha and swung the belt again, tearing a hole in the man’s shirt and caused a bleeding again. Then a third hit. Fourth. Fifth…

“STOP!” the alpha screamed, but Slaine could not stop.

“YOU HAVE TORTURED ME ENOUGH!” he yelled as loud as he could and hit the alpha again, who shrieked with terrible pain. “DID YOU THINK I WOULD LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT?! FINALLY YOU ARE FORCED TO TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY!”

For each exertion he made by swinging the belt, more blood trickled down his thighs. The more that trickled out of him, the less he cared about the alpha’s life and he swung the belt harder and harder, tearing up the man’s flesh into gaping wounds with the buckle, with fat tissue bloating out of the ripped flesh.

When the guards arrived with breaths caught in their throats, they tried to get inside to overpower the furious omega and save the alpha. Once they realized the cuffs were locking the door and the keyholes were blocked, they began yelling about bolt cutters. Slaine could hear them yell at him to stop, but the omega was too furious to bother listening.

Blood began splattering around him as the belt buckle was soaking wet with the alpha’s blood. The man was curled up on the floor – just like Slaine had been moments earlier – and screamed and cried like a child. He stopped begging for the omega to stop and instead shrieked and howled, wailed and whimpered like an obedient victim.

Before he was ripped away from the alpha, he looped the belt around the vice admiral’s throat and then stepped on the man’s chest and began to pull. The screams stopped and were replaced with gurgling and wheezing before the man’s windpipe was blocked, Slaine continued suffocating him until he heard someone had arrived with bolt cutters.

It was too late; he had not managed to kill the man and he knew this was where he had to stop.

With his breath ragged and his body trembling from fury and pain, he dropped the belt onto the man’s chest and then backed away from the alpha until his back hit the wall all the way at the back of the cell. There, he wheezed for air and doubled over for a short moment as he was reminded of the cramping, and he groaned from pain and felt something push in his birth canal. Desperately he reached his hands between his legs to stop the body from expelling whatever it was trying to remove from itself; he had to admit he was scared.

‘ _Please, don’t come out_ ,’ he thought while groaning from pain.

Then, the cell was stormed by the guards. Alarmed by being treated harshly, the omega raised his bloodied hands up onto his head to give the guards the signal he was not going to resist them, and by that hoping they would leave him alone and not handle him roughly. They ran up to the alpha who stayed howling on the floor, and a familiar face ran up to Slaine.

“What have you done?!” Yuki asked with fury, and that was when the omega broke down into a cry; all the violent emotions made him finally cave.

“I’m done! Have I given you proof now?!” he yelled. “Is this comparable to what you’re going through as an alpha?! Have I fought more than you now?!”

Yuki’s angry face turned into horror and she took a step back. Then she turned her eyes to the blood between the omega’s thighs and her face paled. Behind her, the vice admiral was carried out by the guards, and no one showed the omega any attention as they were too busy with the severely wounded man.

“HELP ME!” he finally yelled so loud it echoed in the cell and corridor. His heart ached now that the hellish fire finally disappeared altogether, leaving him in the most vulnerable state he had been in in his entire life. “DON’T JUST STAND THERE; HE KILLED IT!”

Yuki’s body quivered as she began to properly understand what was going on, and she was just about to raise her hand to the radio, but was interrupted from calling for medical help:

“Get the doctor and obstetrician here immediately!” Slaine heard someone say from outside the cell, and Slaine turned his eyes to meet the troubled expression on Orange’s face. The young alpha was standing beneath the light in the corridor, staring at Slaine with a fixed gaze. “Hurry!” he said into the radio, and the blond realized for the first time the brunet was raising his voice from worry.

Soon, the doctor and obstetrician came into view, and the moment they saw Slaine’s state they hurried inside the cell. The omega did not make it a secret he was slowly growing shocked from what had happened, and he did not hide the fact he had deliberately forced the vice admiral to protect himself from the frenzied prisoner.

αβΩ

Nausea began to bubble in the young alpha’s stomach. The sight of the blood covered Slaine had etched into his cornea; the omega had had blood dripping between his legs and his naked and pearly white skin had been covered with angry bruises, cuts and blood all over, probably from the abuse on both him and the vice admiral; most of the blood looked like it had splattered on him.

He was struck by a form of worry he had never felt before. He felt severely anxious, just like the time when his friend Okisuke had died the day the war had begun, after their hands had slipped when Okisuke had been in need of help. He had not shown it back then, and he probably did not show it now. His worry was buried within him – just like always – but it did not stop him from acting according to what he thought he should.

“Nao…!” Yuki said with a breathless exclaim, staring at him with trembling knees. “What do we do?”

There was only one choice that served to save Slaine from the punishment this situation would bring. The repercussions would be terrible because the prisoner had beaten a vice admiral into a bloody mess. A couple of hits and scratches would have been forgiven – just like the hits and scratches the omega had done on the vice admiral weeks ago – but this attack was something completely different, which threatened the entire situation and the prisoner’s fate.

“I have to contact Seylum…” Inaho said and began figuring out what he should tell her. “She must know about this or else they might execute him.”

“A-are you really sure they would-?” his sister began, but Inaho was determined:

“I can’t afford to wait and see if they do, and I can’t afford hoping they won’t; I have waited enough,” he said and began walking down the corridor. “We’re leaving to the headquarters immediately. I have no time to waste; only she can save him now.”

‘ _Forgive me, Slaine, for not contacting her earlier. You had to go through all this because I hesitated for too long_ ,’ he thought and listened to Yuki hurry after him, ready to aid him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write something insane, and here it is: It's based on unpleasant truths I've learned in psychiatry, and I noticed I had to reflect on this kind of stuff to be somewhat better prepared in my profession, since I learn through reflecting by writing [fanfiction for some reason], like probably most authors do. I'm not sure what I feel about it more than %#!&, so I guess I haven't learned anything. I wish to never willingly dive this deep into this kind of sh*t again.
> 
> Also, since we've reached rock bottom in this story, the only way is up from now on.
> 
> I - uh - hope you enjoyed...


	13. The Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support in the previous chapter. ♥

“Slaine! Let us help you!”

“Please, calm down! Just-!”

A loud crash interrupted the doctor’s and obstetrician’s pleas.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” the cornered omega yelled at them loud enough he tasted blood in his mouth. He had just thrown a metal dish with a speculum at them from the table next to him where he stood in the corner. “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!”

It had only been a couple of minutes since he had been shown into the infirmary and he was already back to his aggressive state. The obstetrician had tried to persuade him to lie down on the examination table to make a quick ultrasound, but the omega had instantly refused and gone violent to protect himself from whoever was trying to take too many liberties with his bleeding body.

The shock from what had happened, and was happening to him made him feel so vulnerable, small and pitiful – frightened even – that he could not handle being put into a position that would only increase this feeling. Instead, to handle the aftershocks, which he in all honesty could not handle, he decided to gather his strength once more to fight again, even though he wanted to lie down and rest. To trust someone was impossible; to even trust the kind obstetrician – who had never done him harm – was out of the question; the bleeding omega was too vulnerable to take any chances or risks no matter how kind others seemed to be.

They could all be liars, he thought; manipulating and misleading demons, wanting to control him.

Instead of entrusting his body in their care, he rather wanted to deal with his pain alone by ending it all together. This he had planned for the past week, come up with different ways to remove himself from existence – to finally be allowed to end his nightmarish waiting for an end he was denied by others. He had nothing left, and he knew he could not fight for much longer. If they refused to show him mercy, then he had to take the matter into his own hands before he became incapable; he had to chase the others away and take the chance to die when no one was looking – even if he had to die alone.

To hold the obstetrician and doctor off, he held a pen he had grabbed from the desk in a tight and bloodied grip and threatened them with it, refusing to let them closer to his corner. He wished nothing more but to be left to handle his miscarriage alone – like a wounded dog licking its wounds in a hideaway – but it was slowly becoming overwhelmingly frightening as the realization began to dawn on him that his body was bleeding in a way it had never done before. He knew nothing of what it meant to miscarry. What had happened to the fetus? What was happening to him? He had so many questions and so little answers that he felt the floor slowly start to shake beneath him – or was it perhaps him trembling?

Then what would he do? He was not left alone to die nor could he drop his need to protect himself and refused to put his trust in others. Neither could he handle this alone.

The two healthcare personnel stared at him with great worry from the other end of the room. They had backed away, let the frightened and hurt omega have the space he required – demanded even – and tried to talk to him, throwing their words across the room and hoped to calm him down:

“I know you’re afraid,” the obstetrician said and held his hands up in the air to show the omega he was not a threat. “But we don’t mean you any harm. We just want to help you. What you’re going through is horrible and frightening, and you’re reacting like you should, but you don’t have to feel pain and we can help you with handling the miscarriage and clean you off from all that blood and treat your wounds.”

Even if he rationally knew the obstetrician was a kind person who cared about the prisoner, Slaine still refused to let him close. To them, he was an omega first and foremost; there was no way he could trust them to look at him like a human being. Whatever care they would give him would be given to him because he was an omega, but what he wanted was the care someone would give to him as a human.

The doctor gave him medical care based on him being an omega, even talking to him like he was nothing but a gender.

The obstetrician gave him gynecological care to keep his omegan reproductive organs functional so the alphas could continue abusing him.

The psychologist based his therapy on his experiences of being an omega to calm him down and make him manageable.

The vice admiral never called him by his name, always calling him an omega to let him know his worth.

The guards and warden followed the vice admiral’s pattern, always speaking to him based on him being an imprisoned omega, never allowing him to have his name.

Yuki disliked him because he was an omega and found a bond between him and Orange a nightmare, fearing he would use his Cleopatra Inheritance and take her brother away from her.

And Orange… All he saw in the blond was his fated mate; someone he must have because he could give him children; because he was an omega.

Omega. Omega. Omega. Omega. That was all he was to these people – to the entire world if the word got out, as they had all gone mad with gender roles and completely forgotten about humanity.

‘ _Damn you all!_ ’ he thought furiously and gritted his teeth like a mad wolf.

All he wanted – if someone bothered to ask out of kind curiosity – was to have someone there with him, sitting next to him and be courageous enough to be present in his suffering and take a part of it as a bystander. As long as they only saw him as an omega and never spoke to him like a human being, he would always suffer alone. That was why he refused to let them close. That was why he had decided to die by his own hand. He could not live in a world where he was not allowed to be human.

It was exhausting to live like this, especially now that the child had died in his womb. He could feel something solid still push inside him while his stomach cramped horribly – wanting to push the remnants of a pregnancy out – but he could not allow it. Now that his anger toward the vice admiral had disappeared, he began to feel the nauseating feeling of panic slowly growing. He could feel the death within him, making it into an unexpected and strange sensation – like a shadow was coiling in his stomach – that made him helpless against the conflict of wanting to survive and die; if he had been solely interested in dying, he would have not been afraid of the miscarriage.

Then again, the fetus mattered little to him as he had come to terms with it being in his way of surviving, claiming revenge and dying, to show and prove those who refused to recognize his pain that the torment he lived through was larger than life; something superhuman no one was supposed to live through. Slowly, during the week that had passed, he had begun to distance himself from the fetus and thought of it as a parasite rather than a human being. It had been easier that way, to be allowed to be free even for a little while, and it had been worth it now that his fury had finally been unleashed on the one who deserved it the most. The price he had been forced to pay was this; fear of what was going on within him.

Despite that, he had to face the conflicting feelings of a suicidal person and a survivor whether he liked it or not, and it hit him like a wrecking ball and confused him.

In a strange way, he believed that as long as he could keep the blood and remnants inside him, it would be all right; that the frightening experience would not be real as long as he could avoid seeing it. … Even if he knew it was not so.

Now that the immediate threat – the main reason to why his life had been such a hell the past two months – was gone, his instincts got free reign. The conflicts made him simply scared of the waste of a life that had once been and see the raw and ugly nature of a human body – his own body – miscarrying. He could not even look at the blood between his legs, fearing the sight, which had made him hope to die before he ever had to see what his body was now trying to expel. Then again, the blood slowly smeared over the floor where he was, and he could hint the smell and sight of it in the corner of his eye.

Somehow, after the hellfire had died down, a feeling of imprisonment came over him; he began to remember he was shackled to his humanity – a mere mortal. He was a survivor and a miscarrying mother, both roles equally large to bear on weak shoulders that were now shaking with emotional shock. A whimper escaped him.

“Slaine…” the obstetrician said quietly. “Please, my majestic creature… You’re so very brave and peremptory, but there is no need to be that in our presence.”

The distressed blond did not answer but instead stared at them both with his guard up high, gripping the pen tightly with bloodstained hands and made himself ready to attack them in case they came too close. He would not let them touch him. No one was allowed to touch him as he was sick of being touched.

‘ _Leave me alone so I can die in peace!_ ’ he thought with desperate anger. ‘ _I’m too tired to keep fighting!_ ’

What he had done today was more than he had ever done in his life. Never had he been as strong as moments earlier in the cell; he had felt superhuman in strength and determination. Never had he even imagined he could stand up strong and powerful in the possibly worst vulnerable state thinkable, against an abusing alpha with a child bleeding out of him and claim the revenge that was rightfully his. Now, however, that strength was gone; burned into ash by the hellfire that had consumed him moments earlier.

He watched the doctor and obstetrician speak to each other with whispers, leaning close to each other so the blond could not hear, and then Slaine watched the doctor walk out of the room. The distress began to grow. Would the doctor call for the security so they could forcefully give him treatment?

“Aaagh!” the blond suddenly gasped as a cramp shot immense pain through his nervous system, making him double over.

It felt like his uterus was about to blow and his kidneys being crushed, and he instinctively wished to hold the organs steady in his hands. Pain on the skin and exterior muscle was easier to handle as they could be seen and touched, but the pain inside the body – the horrible grinding and twisting and pressure – was scarier, as it could not be seen or handled. Then, after the first shock had dissipated, he whimpered and put his arms around his stomach and collapsed onto his knees. Blood trickled onto the floor.

“Haagh…!” he gasped again and felt the flow of tears increase as the pain distracted the anger, replacing it with an urgently growing vulnerability.

The obstetrician stared at Slaine for a short moment before he then took a deep breath and sighed, and then slowly – carefully – sat down on his knees on the floor. The moment the blond noticed him move, he looked up at the other with a sharp glare, warning him from getting closer. He felt like a frightened animal forced into a corner.

“Your glare is scary,” the obstetrician whispered and gave him a frowning smile. Then it faded when he realized Slaine would not change his expression, and continued quietly: “I know it’s difficult and traumatizing. I won’t force you onto the examination table and I won’t ask you to do anything else but to rest. I’m suspecting you’re feeling an urgent need to kill yourself as you think there’s no hope for you after this, and – if you are – then please- I beg you to give us a chance. Be as angry and sad as you want, but at least let me start with making a bed for you in here. You don’t have to go back into the cell for now. After you have rested, we’ll figure something out.”

Pretty but empty words. They were nothing but lies, to make the omega do what they thought the omega should do.

‘ _No way!_ ’ he thought and blinked the tears out of his eyes to see clearly.

There was a knock on the door and the blond gritted his teeth. Were the guards here? His muscles tensed up to prepare for a fight, but once the door opened the doctor came into view. He did not step inside, but instead reached a small plastic cup to the obstetrician from behind the door and then disappeared again after throwing a quick glance at Slaine in the corner.

“I got some medication here for the pain and stress and also to help your body to complete the miscarriage,” the obstetrician said with pity shining in his eyes when his and Slaine’s eyes met again. The moment Slaine heard the word ‘miscarriage’ he released a suffocated howl. He was becoming more and more scared as he had no control over what was going on. “I won’t force you to take any of them, but please know that there is help to give you to ease your pain,” he told the cowering prisoner. “This is really tough. I know…” the other continued and seemed to hesitate for a while, and then decided to say: “Because I’ve been through two miscarriages too.”

Slaine’s heart nearly stopped at hearing that. What was the obstetrician talking about? Had he had miscarriages? He could be pregnant? Then that must have meant…

“Yes, I’m an omega too,” the man finally said, and the blond raised his head to stare baffled at him while trying to handle the pain in his stomach. “I didn’t want you to know because I wanted to have a professional relationship with you. To reveal something this intimate about me – something that connects you and me together – felt too personal. Quite frankly, I was afraid of you for being the former Count Saazbaum Troyard and I still am, and I wanted to keep it strictly professional with you.” He smiled wryly. “You managed to charge your face and name with terror that’s not easy to shake off, and the looks you have given me and my colleagues lately are chilling. The one you give me now is … flat out terrifying, and I’m shaking all over. You look just like the count you were. But I’ll try my best to help you despite that as you’re someone who’s scared and alone.”

Slaine did not know what to answer. He just stared at the man, watching him with fear, shock and curiosity, before a radiating pain made him break eye contact and forced him to curl up with his knees up against his chest. A sound from the other end of the room made him alarmed and he looked up again in an instant to see the obstetrician move closer with an empathetic look in his eyes.

“STAY AWAY!” the blond screamed with tear-stained lips.

The other instantly stopped and waited for a short while, before he sat down on his knees again and said quietly with a voice quivering from fear:

“The reproduction function is deeply woven with the cultural view of an alpha and an omega, but also a female beta and a male beta. An omega and a female beta is defined by the ability to give birth to a healthy baby, and failures such as miscarriages or disorders and syndromes on the baby might lead to strong crisis reactions. Of course, such complications are not actually a failure, but that is what they might be perceived as by society – and also by the omega or female beta.” He made a pause and gave the blond a slight sorrowful smile: “This is not your fault, Slaine. You did great by taking responsibility until you were cornered like this, so don’t blame yourself for this. You’re not less of an omega, and most importantly not less of a human being just because this happened to you. You fought for your right to live, and that is what matters; no matter how provoking it might be, we can’t escape the truth that you’re more important than an unborn child. You’re so brave, do you know that?; like your own superhero.”

Hearing this, the conflicting feelings began subsiding somewhat, and relief tried to slowly sneak into his mental state.

Why was it so difficult to handle the miscarriage bravely? Was he supposed to be this scared? And was he allowed to react with relief as well?; to finally be free to end his life. If he did not regret the miscarriage, what would happen to him then? Would he stop being a capable mother that could bring children to the world if he accepted the miscarriage? According to whom? Or would he fall into a pit of immorality if he did not feel guilt and grief?; it was a life dying after all. Did not all life have the right to exist? But what about the life that suffered on behalf of another life?

Even if the fetus could not be blamed for his body feeling invaded, he still did not need to respect it, right? Was he allowed to think like that? Could he think like that? Again: According to whom? Society’s moral? Why would society’s moral be allowed to be forced on his body like this? No… He should not feel guilt for feeling relief now that the fetus was dead. No matter how much he wanted to believe it, not all life had equal value as that was impossible in praxis; it was just a philosophical idea, and it had little practical meaning. He had noticed this a long time ago and learned it the hard way, and he had to accept that in order to survive. He should decide who he thought was important to him, and no one else was allowed to force their empty moralities on him.

But then again… Did he want to survive? Had he not planned on dying within a couple of hours anyway?

Thinking about this gave him a chance to calm down successively. Trying to identify the real issue of all this was a difficult task, and he was not sure if he would be able to finish this task at all. All he knew was he was afraid to see what his body had once carried and nurtured; it was too intimately human.

“I didn’t know I had been pregnant the first time I miscarried, and I was terrified when I found out,” he heard the obstetrician say, waking the blond up from his thoughts. “It felt like I had murdered the child; that it was my fault I lost it because I had taken a glass of wine the evening before with my partner to celebrate me graduating from university. No matter how much the midwife tried to calm me down by telling me it was not my fault, and no matter how much theoretical knowledge I had from university, I still blamed myself for not understanding I was pregnant; I thought I could have stopped the miscarriage from happening if I just had not taken that glass of wine and emptied it.” He released a sorrowful chuckle and then said: “Do you hear how silly that sounds? How could I have known I was pregnant the night before the miscarriage?”

So… Someone else had felt like Slaine did now? Because he had no idea what was actually going on due to the lack of education, he was also unsure of how common a miscarriage was – if others were suffering like he did. When he had been younger, he had not had a chance to educate himself on sexual health, and he had thought he had had no use of it once he had finally gotten the chance to learn properly as his world had opened up when he became a count; back then, he had never thought he would carry children at all.

Then again, he was not stupid either. Of course he knew miscarriages must have happened to countless of omegas and female betas in the past, and it would continue happening for as long as humanity existed. He just had not thought of it because it had never concerned him until now.

“My second miscarriage was spontaneous as well,” the obstetrician continued and tried to move closer, shuffling on his knees while watching the blond. Slaine tightened his arms around him at that, and the obstetrician moved just a little bit closer before he stopped. “Again, I blamed myself for having stressed about too much and worked during the pregnancy, or eaten something bad without knowing. I was in the eleventh week by then.” He sighed. “Then again, we may never know why a specific miscarriage happened. It could be natural because something went wrong with the chromosomes or then it can be because of abuse; no one knows. All we know is that it’s unfair to blame someone for it – especially the mother – unless conscious abuse on the fetus has been going on.”

Once more, he shuffled closer and stopped about two meters away when Slaine showed signs of obvious distress, and instead put the cup with pills onto the floor and pushed it closer to the blond, bending down into a deep bow. Then he continued gently after pushing himself up:

“I know you have gone through something much worse; you’ve been raped for years and been treated roughly even now during your pregnancy. I’m not trying to belittle your experience with mine, but I just want you to know that I roughly know what you’re going through. I’ve met countless of omegas and female betas who have gone through similar abuse like you, too, which have given me some insight in this kind of life.”

Slaine felt his mindset change slowly; he listened to every word the obstetrician said because he found comfort from them – especially because they came from between the lips of someone like him; an omega who had also miscarried. He found himself being a villain, committing the same crime toward the obstetrician as he blamed everyone else for: He thought differently of the obstetrician now that he knew the man was an omega as well.

How hypocritical…

“I know it hurts,” the obstetrician continued quietly. “But it doesn’t have to. There’s medication for the pain in the cup. It’s the oval pill.” He nodded toward the cup with the three pills. “You can choose to let your body expel it naturally or then take medication that speeds up the process. The pill for this is the round one. Without the pill, it will take about two weeks, and with the pill it’ll be shortened to about one week. It’s your choice to decide what feels best for you.” After a deep breath, he told the fretful blond: “And to calm your anxiety, you have the option of taking the smallest pill. I won’t force you to take any of them; it’s completely your decision. I’ll leave the cup here and leave you alone for a while.”

Slaine watched the obstetrician shuffle away from him and get up from the floor to leave. The bleeding omega would be left alone in this room, still covered in blood and the discard pushing in his birth canal. Now that his anger had left him, so had his courage. He was so lost in what was going on and what to do, that he felt a horrible anxiety burst free. He was terrified of being left alone; he wanted to live; to continue surviving despite his previously decided mind set on dying.

With a whimper, he watched as the obstetrician turned toward the door, and then the prisoner could not contain his plea:

“Don’t go!” he begged with a shrill cry. “I’m so scared t-that I can’t even look at-”

He could not finish his sentence. His voice was caught in his throat as a powerful cramping shocked his body with cutting pain. Instead, he cried out and doubled over again.

“All right then,” the obstetrician said quietly and turned around toward the blond, slowly taking a couple of steps closer and then shuffled the remaining distance to the prisoner. Slaine allowed him to close the distance between them. “During my miscarriages, do you know what made me feel better?” he then asked. “My partner holding me. She held me for as long as I needed her to, until I could feel just a little bit stronger to face what was happening to me. Do you want me to hold you?”

Slaine looked up at him for a couple of seconds, trying to read his face to figure out how sincere the man was with his offer. He saw no hesitation in the obstetrician’s eyes.

Physical comfort… It was so strange to him he could not understand what good it would do. He had lived without it ever since he was a small child and only gotten it during his father’s good days. Even Asseylum had held her distance when they had been young and innocent. Yuki, however, had held him against his will, and he had noticed it had felt good in the end despite he had been confused of the comfort she gave him.

He hesitated for so long that the obstetrician opened his arms for him just slightly with a small motion that would not alarm the prisoner. Slaine flinched and followed the hands by watching them, and then he looked up at the man just in time for the arms to be wrapped around him. Immediately, he tried to push the obstetrician away – halfheartedly – just like the time with Yuki. Then, a light hand began caressing his hair that was stained with dry blood, and a whisper asked:

“Does it hurt a lot?”

The question made him finally relax enough to allow him to collapse against his fellow omega.

“It … hurts so much…!” the blond cried and took a hold of the obstetrician’s shirt.

“Is it coming out?” he asked, and Slaine nodded and sobbed against the man’s chest. “You probably feel pregnancy tissue that is being pushed out. You understand that there’s nothing to be done?” Again, the blond nodded, and the obstetrician continued asking: “You don’t dare to look at it?” This time, the omega shook his head. “All right,” he then murmured and looked around before taking the box of tissues from the table next to the gynecological bed to their left. “This is what we’ll do: I’ll put tissues onto the floor, and then I want you to raise yourself up onto your knees and give it a little push. Hold onto me while you do so you don’t need to look at it. This way, you’ll notice it’s not as frightening as you think; it’s just like a heavy menstruation.”

“I- … I can’t…!” the omega gasped, holding onto the other’s shirt with all his might.

“I’ll hold you until you’re ready to let go, so don’t worry. It’s not dangerous even if there’s a lot of blood,” his fellow omega said and continued caressing the blond over his bloodied hair. “It’ll be all right, I promise. I’ll take care of the blood and tissue. You just close your eyes in the meantime.”

With chaotic feelings and with a little persuasion, the omega finally nodded and allowed the obstetrician to guide him through it. With his fingers aching and with tears streaming down his cheeks, he listened to the man’s guidance and clung to him, and – eventually – Slaine buried his face against the man’s neck at the feeling of how his body was finally emptied of death.

The obstetrician held him like promised, caressed his head and whispered comforting words and promised him everything would be all right. The blond was held for as long as he felt the need, and then finally dared to let the other go and close his teary eyes while the obstetrician cleaned the waste away. Then, once it was done, the blond finally took all the medication and calmed down.

The worst was over.

Because he did not dare to leave the room, the obstetrician decided to wash him there with water from the faucet and hand soap, and dried him with a hand towel from one of the cupboards – which was enough to get him somewhat clean and dry. He got his wounds treated while the obstetrician waited for someone to come with new clothes, a pillow and blanket that he had asked for over the radio, and then helped Slaine to get onto the examination table to lie down until Slaine would get a proper bed; the mattress of the bed in the cell was covered with bloodstains and had to be cleaned first.

The omega curled up on the hard temporary bed, and the obstetrician made him company by documenting into the electronic file in the computer what had happened that day. After a while – from pure exhaustion – the blond fell into a heavy and dreamless sleep.

There, in the dark distance, he floated for a while and slowly recovered in peace.

When he woke up, he did so with a hazy mind. His eyes were swollen from the previous tears and his whole body felt heavy and exhausted. It felt like he had been through a car crash or some other kind of violent accident, like a battering ram had hit him straight in the solar plexus and mangled the rest of his body.

As he slowly opened his eyes, he noticed the light was turned off. Only a small table light shone in a corner of the desk where the obstetrician had been sitting before Slaine had mentally collapsed into sleep, but – this time – someone else was sitting there, asleep.

Tousled dark hair.

An eyepatch.

A black sweater over a white shirt.

A folded blazer hung neatly on the back of the chair where this person sat.

‘ _Orange…_ ’

The young alpha sat slumped against the backrest of the chair, his chin resting against his chest. A couple of papers lay in front of him on the desk and a mechanical pen had fallen to the floor, probably from the hand hanging limply at the brunet’s side. At first glance, he looked more like a seated doll than a human being, but – when looking closer – his slow and steady breaths gave his animate state away.

Why was he here? Was he guarding him? If he did, then he did a terrible job as he was sleeping on duty. Then worry struck the blond and he slowly raised a heavy hand to touch his neck. It was perfectly smooth with no bite marks. With a relieved sigh, Slaine then closed his tired eyes and took yet another deep breath.

Speaking of which…

Things had really gone out of hand this time. The prisoner wondered what would happen now that he had attacked the vice admiral and … gotten a miscarriage… Would the old alpha try to impregnate him again, or would Slaine be executed? He hoped for the latter, since he had never been this tired of living before. If the former was their decision, then Slaine would-

What would he do?

There was nothing he could do because of their restrictions, but he could not go through the same life he had led during his pregnancy; to be abused and raped, neglected and forced into submission were things he could not live through again. Enough was enough. He admitted they had won, and he was fine with that; he had fought enough and survived, and he wished not to fight any longer.

‘ _The obstetrician distracted me…_ ’ he thought and picked up his previous plan of committing suicide and pressed his lips together as he felt like crying.

He had planned to end his life but been distracted by someone else’s kindness, and now he had a feeling his sleep had made him fall behind schedule even more; he was supposed to be dead before morning. It had been such a relief to have come to the conclusion that dying would be the best for him after his vengeance, but then he had gotten the sweet taste of support and kindness from someone, making him want to stay alive and continue surviving. No matter how much he tried to believe he was a lone wolf he was constantly proven otherwise; he enjoyed the company of others.

The longer he thought about his current situation, he began to suspect he would be impregnated again, and he could not allow that. He was tired, and if killing himself was what he had to do to save himself, then that was what he would do; there was no other choice as he could not expect anyone to show him mercy and kindness after what he had done. His pregnancy had been terminated, which meant he was free from its shackles and dying could once again be an option. He had feared enough and been hurting for too long. Now that he lay here in the infirmary – probably surrounded by a lot of useful tools – he understood this would undoubtedly be his only chance to save himself from future pain and torment.

‘ _I can’t wait and hope for an execution; if they decide to breed me again, then I will have lost my chance to end my life before that_ ,’ he thought and carefully tried out the strength in his legs.

As he found they functioned normally, although feeling quite heavy just as the rest of his body, he got up from the examination table as quietly as he could. The table was sturdy and made no noise as his weight disappeared from on top of it, and he was grateful for the thick woolen socks that muted his steps against the shiny tiled floor; all the blood had been properly cleaned away.

When he raised his body to stand straight, he felt an uncomfortable pain in his stomach and was reminded about what kind of process his body was going through by the runny fluid pushing out of him; probably blood. Luckily – even though he felt mortified as well – he had gotten pads to protect the clothes.

‘ _Disgusting…_ ’ he thought and wondered how on earth he would be able to change the pad in the near future if he ever had to; he could not stand the sight of blood after everything that had happened. Even the thought made him feel nauseous.

Carefully and with heavy feet moving him forward, he walked up to the desk and threw a glance at the sleeping young man to make sure he was fast asleep. Then, as quietly as he could, he tried opening the cupboards and found everything was locked. There was nothing he could steal and end his life with; everything was stored away – except for the pen lying on the floor beneath Orange’s limp hand.

Due to pathetic desperation, the tired prisoner moved back to the sleeping young man and squatted carefully down to pick the pen up. His stomach hurt again, and he winced and held his breath to not make a noise that would wake the other.

When the pain had weakened for a while and the pen rested in his hand, the blond could not help himself and turned his gaze up to look at the sleeping face of the brunet. There he was caught as he saw the vulnerable face, and he forgot about what he was doing and instead studied the other in great detail despite the dim lighting.

The brunet looked peaceful; relaxed and calm. His breaths were soft and gentle, and his eye moved slightly beneath the eyelid, making his eyelashes flutter. The young alpha’s scent made itself reminded as Slaine sat there. It drifted over to the omega’s nostrils and made a warm feeling spread in his tired frame, comforting him just a little and made a strange sensation of safety wrap around him. He felt like he belonged there next to him, and even longed for it – as if he and the brunet shared a private little bubble that felt safe and warm, and whenever the brunet was away, uncertainty and coldness took his place.

“ _Bond with me instead._ ”

“ _Are you all right?_ ”

“ _Choose me, Troyard_.”

“ _I will look at you and I will see you_ …”

“ _We will make it work somehow_.”

“ _Do you realize that you are the one isolating yourself right now?_ ”

Orange’s words were repeated from his memory like a broken record. He had persistently promised to treat him well and been there to show support. He had begged him to bond with him and even spoken the truth about them being fated mates.

No matter how much Slaine resisted to admit it, he had the proof right here: He could not tear himself away from the sleeping brunet. Instead, he wanted to stay here on the floor for a little while to rest his eyes on him and feel his scent and listen to him breathe. That alone gave him a sense of connection to the other, like he was slowly getting to know him just by watching him sleep.

‘ _I don’t know him at all_ ,’ Slaine then thought as he realized this. He had always seen him as an enemy and kept him at distance, never even bothered to get to know him. Now, though, he was slowly beginning to see him as something else; like a person rather than an opponent he always had to fight. ‘ _I’m so tired of fighting…_ ’

Perhaps it would not be too bad to abandon his plan of taking his own life and instead bond with the young man? Then again, he would lose to the role of a marked omega – the kind of omega society preferred. He refused to abide by that role because it did not feel fair at all. Besides, he did not love him. He was curious about him and attracted to him, but he did not love him.

‘ _They say love develops with time_ ,’ he thought and frowned from confusion. ‘ _Can that happen with us?_ ’

His stomach suddenly hurt again, and he curled up into a ball. The feeling of being pathetic came back and it lingered within him, did not allow him to find even an ounce of confidence. Perhaps it was not as bad as he wanted to believe, to be vulnerable like this? He had gone through something horrific, something he would not recover from for a long time. He was supposed to be allowed to be this vulnerable.

Right?

Orange’s presence did not feel bad, which allowed him to think such healthy thoughts to begin with. Even if his existence as a person was threatened in this sealed world, and he could not entrust anyone with his identity and pride, he thought it could turn out to be all right to lower his guard just this once. He was tired of fighting anyway, and he had no strength to continue because of his hurting body. Maybe he could put trust in the brunet sleeping on the chair, if only for a little while?

‘ _I trust that you won’t hurt me_ ,’ he told the other silently and watched the young alpha’s eyelashes flutter on his single eye, but then sighed as pain shot through him again, and he leaned his forehead against the pulled up knees and tightened his arms around the legs.

Despite the hurt and pain, he stopped refusing the other’s presence and found peace on the floor in front of the young man.

The blood was seeping out of him. It felt like a heavy bleeding, which reminded him about the sense of death as he knew what that blood meant. Why had this all happened? Even if he hated the vice admiral, and even if he had wished for the child to never come to be, his body had still housed a small life for a couple of weeks; death was still within him.

A whimper escaped him as he felt his body try to expel the blood and tissue. The cramping hurt enough he wished he could have a painkiller again to ease it somewhat and make it bearable so he could rest here on the floor, next to his … fated mate.

From this weak sound of his, the brunet stirred; Slaine could see Orange raise his head in the corner of his eye and heard him take a deep breath. His heartbeat began to race. The blond did not look up at him and waited with a body stiffening somewhat from nervousness. Even if he had believed that he should be allowed to be vulnerable like this – at least this time – he suddenly felt on edge now that Orange had woken up; it changed the situation completely, because now he was forced to explain what he did on the floor right in front of the other.

“Are you all right?” he heard the other ask with a drowsy voice. Slaine did not answer. “Do you need anything?”

‘ _I need to say something, quickly!_ ’ the blond thought and searched for something to distract the other from comprehending the situation.

“You dropped this,” Slaine said quietly instead of answering the brunet’s question and held up the pen with a weak arm, and continued lying: “I tried to pick it up, but it seems I couldn’t get up from the floor once I leaned down.”

No way would he allow the brunet to know he had been sitting on the floor and watched him sleep after discovering how pleasant it was around the other.

“Are you that weak?” the young man asked, and Slaine nodded and let his arm drop back into his lap, still holding onto the pen.

“It hurts a lot…” he murmured.

“The obstetrician left some medication to you, including painkillers. He will be back tomorrow again to be with you,” the brunet said and suddenly got up from the chair. It squeaked. “I’ll get you some medicine. Do you need medicine to lessen anxiety as well?”

“N-no…” the blond mumbled and watched the brunet walk up to a locked cupboard and unlock it with the keys hanging on his belt. When Orange returned with a piece of a medicine strip with only one pill, Slaine took it obediently and was given a plastic mug of water to wash it down with. “Thanks…” he then mumbled and took the pill to calm the pain.

“Are you hungry?” the brunet continued.

The blond discovered something new in the other – a quality he had not expected to find in the persistent enemy of his, who had fought him with outstanding skills six months earlier. Orange was in a caring mode, and Slaine found it pleasant to see his former enemy reveal something like this; Orange’s way of giving care seemed to be straightforward and honest, with no unnecessary words to calm the blond to make him more pleasant to be around. Instead, he had allowed Slaine to feel the emotions he had felt throughout his imprisonment and only tended to his most basic needs, such as company, medication and food. The blond was permitted to orientate in the swirl of unpleasant feelings on his own, and he was sure Orange would allow him to express them too. There was no need to, however; Slaine wanted his feelings to be left alone and not share them with anyone.

When Slaine did not answer – too busy admiring the brunet’s caring nature now that he discovered it – Orange said:

“We have sandwiches and soup in the kitchen. I can ask someone to come with a plate.”

No. Slaine was not hungry. His heart was beating in his chest like it wanted to jump out of the chest cavity and leap around the room. It was quite a juvenile feeling, but he did not hate it. It was rather…

‘ _Embarrassing?_ ’ he thought and hid his face against his knees.

“Maybe later…” the blond answered quietly and took a deep breath. “Why are you here?”

The brunet went silent for a little while and probably looked at the omega who had lowered his head completely in submission. Then he walked over to the desk and Slaine noticed his shadow loom over him when the young man was reaching for something above him. The omega flinched and pushed himself away from him, feeling nastily surprised by the other’s sudden movement and closeness. The pleasant juvenile heartbeats turned into a panicked rhythm, and he watched the brunet with great attention.

Orange seemed to realize he had done something that alarmed the blond, and stopped where he was for a moment, saying:

“I thought you would prefer having me here rather than my sister or the guards. I heard you and Yuki had an argument a week ago.” Slaine did not answer but stared at the other, and the brunet took his papers from the desk and then sat down onto the floor as well, next to the blond. “I was doing some paperwork. Do you mind giving me my pen back?”

The brunet held out his hand, waiting patiently for the blond to give him his pen, and Slaine watched him closely for a couple of breaths before he finally decided to relax somewhat and lean his back against the desk cupboards like Orange, and put the pen he held into the brunet’s hand. With that gesture, he abandoned the idea of taking his life and decided to put faith in the brunet, disarming himself willingly.

“You’re not sleepy?” the young alpha asked after thanking the blond for the pen.

Slaine shook his head – heart still beating with loud thumps.

“I’m exhausted and I feel like a wreck, but I doubt I can fall asleep right now,” he mumbled and pulled up the weak knees against his chest once more, to lean on them and rest his head against them.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” the brunet asked instead and wrote something onto the papers, which he rested against his thighs.

“Kill me,” the blond provoked and got a satisfying answer:

“I cannot do that.”

“Why?” Slaine asked and looked up at him with a slight frown, too exhausted to even move his facial muscles too much. By denying his childish request, Orange had opened up to a juvenile argument; something Slaine needed right now to vent his frustration. “Every time I think I have lost everything, you all manage to find something more to take away from me – even things I didn’t know I had. Shouldn’t this be enough? I doubt you have any idea of how many times I have lost everything because of this, always starting the painful process anew.”

“Sounds like you understand how enriched a life actually is,” Orange answered, and Slaine chuckled tiredly.

“But what good is it now? How much more do you want to take away from me?” he asked and leaned his right cheek against his knees, looking at Orange with heavy eyelids that tried to block his vision of the other. He wanted to see Orange’s reactions when they communicated like this. “This time, I hit rock bottom with a resounding thud. It knocked the wind out of me.”

“Then catch your breath and get up again,” the brunet said expressionlessly and kept writing something on the papers. “Stay on the bottom for as long as you need, but don’t linger there for the rest of your life as it would be a waste.”

Slaine chuckled again and hid his face against his knees once more, arms coiled around his head.

“You make it sound so easy. I’m tired, you know,” he answered with a quivering breath. “There’s no reason for me to get up.”

“I believe I promised you a better life than this if you choose me as your mate,” Orange said – again expressionlessly and with his usual monotone voice. He did not even look up at Slaine, saying that in a matter-of-fact fashion.

“I remember that…” the blond muttered. “You made perfectly sure I would not forget it by nagging at me.”

“I know what my sister told you when you two argued as she was honest to me about it and told me everything, but I ask you to ignore her. She just tries to protect me without considering my feelings. She’s always done that,” the brunet then said.

“Why won’t you listen to her for a change?” the blond answered and peered at the other from the corner of his eye, raising his head just enough to get a glimpse of the young alpha through the overgrown bangs.

“Because I can’t just sit around and do nothing,” was the answer he got, and Slaine slowly raised his head properly as this piqued some interest.

“You mean to mark me?” the blond asked upset, and he got frustrated when he saw Orange nod. “You think your promises are a blessing, but what would you have done if I hadn’t been an omega? Would you have still cared?” The young alpha turned his attention to the blond and watched him in silence when Slaine continued: “For four months I was stuck in this hellhole of yours and you didn’t care the slightest. Now, suddenly, when it turned out I’m an omega, you began to care. That’s hypocritical and insulting.”

“It is true I didn’t harbor any attraction to you before I learned you are my fated mate, but know that I did care nonetheless,” the brunet said – unaffected like usual, like he told something that was a fact – and turned his head to face the papers again. “You weren’t in danger back then the way you are now; I thought I had a lot of time to make you used to my presence. On top of that, you were difficult to communicate with even when I tried, which made me believe you preferred to be left alone. I would have liked to converse with you and get to know you, and now that we’re finally doing it, I find it pleasant.”

So it was Slaine’s fault they had not gotten to know each other before? What point had there been to learn who the other was anyway? Slaine had failed to see a reason as he was a prisoner and a former tyrant and Orange was his captor and enemy. Now that he thought about it, Orange had seen past them being enemies and tried to keep him company during his visits; he had spoken to the blond like an equal.

Perhaps Slaine had been the blind one, since he saw no point in learning to know people and found no interest in it either.

“ _Do you realize that you are the one isolating yourself right now?_ ”

Orange was probably right, and Slaine began to realize it was exhausting to be this suspecting of others. Then again, he had also learned he should not lower his guard. Anyone could be an assaulter, and there was no one else to protect him except himself.

“An omega has to be careful of where they put their faith,” he answered the brunet. “You are my enemy.”

“I don’t have to be,” Orange answered bluntly. “You’re the one insisting I am.”

“There’s no point in being all friendly with my captor and ‘get to know’ you,” the blond grumbled. “You’re only interested due to your instinct of wanting to make me yours. I won’t accept you merely because we’re fated mates; there’s no love between us.”

“Is that what you base the bond on; love?” Orange asked and turned his attention to Slaine once more, looking at the omega with a studying look. “Are you a romanticist?”

The brunet’s frank question took Slaine off guard, and the blond felt dumbfounded and confused of what to say. He knew love was not necessary to form a bond, and he knew love would probably come at a later stage in a relationship anyway, but it somehow felt wrong for him as an omega to simply give himself over to someone solely on the basis of them being fated mates. There had to be something more there than instincts for it to be all right, the blond thought.

“So what if it’s an instinct?” Orange continued when Slaine stayed silent. “If you think about it, I think you find it that love is an instinct too. To nurse and care about someone by making sure they are well and happy, to want to soothe them and encourage them during hard times, and to want to protect them and ease their pain are all expressions of love, aren’t they?” Slaine could only stare back at the brunet in surprise. He had not expected him to describe love like this considering he usually showed little emotion. “If this is what I feel for you, should it matter which instinct it is, whether it’s love or an instinct to bond with you? I would feel the same either way, so what’s the difference? Why would it be bad? You’re blinded by the love complex in society; to only want to bond and give yourself to the one you share mutual romantic love with.”

“Love complex?!” Slaine exclaimed, feeling childishly insulted.

“Theoretically, who would make you happy?” Orange asked and presented him a dilemma: “The one who romantically loves you but _might_ not be able to care for you when you’re in need, or the one who cares for you and possibly _might_ fall in love with you? Will you take a risk with the one who loves you, or will you take a chance with the one who will care for you?”

Instinctively, Slaine wanted to answer “the one who loves me”, but the more he thought about it the more he realized he was repeating something he had been taught to believe. He had learned that people should only choose someone who loves them and settle down with them; do all the things adolescents did to become adults in the right order: Graduate from school, get a job, move in with each other, save up money, buy a car, have kids and care for them for many years to come, have grandchildren and die of old age along with the one he had chosen as a young adult.

Was it even possible; to grow up in such well thought-out stages to reach adulthood? How could he even know he had chosen the right one at such a young age? Even if he was a young adult now, he was still quite clueless of what life had to offer. If love was a single criteria, then he would probably become unhappy; love would not fill a hungry stomach nor would it solve practical problems.

He began to understand Orange had made a point he could not argue against; how could love form if he did not bother getting to know people? In order to find a loving mate that would take care of him – just like he would take care of them – he needed to get to know the person first to know if they would be worth his time and effort. If he also gave them the chance to show him their caring ability, then would it not be worth taking a chance?

But then again; if he bonded with his fated mate now, it might turn out he could not love him. Then he would be bonded to them forever, even after death, making the chance into a risk.

Slaine would not lose this easily.

“I’m an alpha,” he said and watched Orange closely. There was no reaction in the other; the brunet stared at him patiently. “An alpha,” he said again and moved closer to the young alpha, close enough he almost brushed his shoulder against his. “I’m an alpha,” he repeated and stared at the brunet, who did not seem to understand what the blond was trying to do. “Do you feel anything when I say that?” he then asked, and Orange blinked.

“What should I feel?” he asked, and Slaine scoffed tiredly.

“What about omega?” he asked. “I’m an omega.” Something changed in the brunet’s gaze, and Slaine repeated it: “I’m an omega. An omega.” The young alpha’s expression became dazed with slight lust. “I am an omega, Orange,” the blond repeated, and then asked: “What do you feel now? Lust? Do your teeth tingle?” Orange – caught in the act of falling for the instincts of an alpha – blinked again and seemed to clear his mind. “See?” the omega then said. “You only want me because I’m an omega. Even my words affect your behavior and what you feel. When I told you I’m an alpha, you felt nothing in particular, but when I called myself an omega, you reacted with lust. It’s called performativity.”

“You react to me being an alpha too,” Orange said, and Slaine frowned. “An alpha,” the brunet then said, and Slaine felt something strange awaken inside him. “I’m an alpha.” The blond’s skin tingled and begged for a touch. “An alpha. I’m an alpha, Slaine.”

“Stop it!” the blond sighed and turned his face away, but heard Orange continue:

“I’m an alpha. You’re an omega.” Slaine heard the brunet move closer, but he could not push him away. The young alpha’s scent became stronger, and soon the other’s body heat mingled with Slaine’s. “An alpha…” the other said quietly. “Alpha… Alpha… Alpha…”

“Stop!” the omega gasped and felt a shock of electricity down his spine. Despite the soreness inside his body from his womb working hard to empty itself, Slaine felt that familiar tingle of a heat in the pit of his stomach he only felt with Orange.

“I’m an alpha, Slaine.” A hand touched Slaine’s jaw, but the blond slapped it away and turned to glare at the brunet who took too many liberties with him. Then, the moment their gazes collided, the blond began to feel disarmed and arrested. “Alpha… Omega…” Orange continued, completely in a daze. “I’m your alpha,” he whispered, and Slaine felt his breath brush his lips, sending a tingle with need throughout his body. “You’re as guilty of performativity as I am. I’m sorry, but I am your alpha and always will be no matter if you accept me or not. I’ll always wait for you.”

“B-back away…” the blond gasped but found that he leaned closer toward the other’s lips, and his agitation diminished more and more for each second that passed.

“Do you want me to?” Orange whispered – his lips so close to Slaine’s the omega’s mouth began to water.

“N-no,” he gasped and finally sealed their lips into a kiss.

Despite the soreness, he could feel how his tired body began to wake up with a need of wanting to feel the other against his skin. The kiss was magical. Beautiful. Fulfilling. Important and precious.

It felt like the first breath of fresh air after stepping out of a dusty room. It felt like the first spring day with the sun so warm a jacket was too hot to wear. It felt like the sight of the vast and glimmering sea after weeks of rainy days. Or … like hearing about the kiss of true love only told in bedtime stories.

His breaths became easier, like the air was purified by the brunet’s kiss, and allowed him to breathe deeper breaths with ease. A bubbly feeling of vitality coursed through him and filled him all the way out to his fingertips and toes, and he kissed the other with growing vigor. A sense of freedom gave him confidence and peace, blessing him with a feeling of being in the right place.

The kiss…

It was as large as life itself.

‘ _You’re freeing me…_ ’ he thought and raised his hands to put them behind the young alpha’s head and neck to pull him closer. Each kiss became an aching scar, and these scars could only be soothed by the one who gave them. ‘ _Kiss me more; heal me by scarring me more!_ ’ the omega begged and buried his fingers into the other’s tousled hair while their lips rubbed against each other’s.

“Ahhh,” he heard the other gasp voicelessly when their lips parted for a brief moment, and then felt his hands around his waist.

“Mmmh…” the omega moaned when their lips were sealed again, and he coaxed his tongue into the brunet’s mouth.

It felt forbidden the way they touched and licked and kissed each other. The blond began to feel feverish and helplessly weak against the brunet’s hands and lips while enjoying the aftertaste of the kisses before they locked their lips again. He knew he had to stop, but how? All he wanted was to fulfill his instincts’ requests to be with the other; to allow the other to mark him and have his children grow in him and bring them to the world. This urge slowly flared up inside him, and he answered to it by pushing his body against the young alpha to let him know he was painfully willing to succumb to his nature as a fated mate.

Perhaps it would not be too bad to have the brunet mark him? Maybe it would feel safe and good? If he just turned his head away and exposed his neck, it would be over within a couple of seconds; he would belong to the brunet just as he would belong to the blond.

“Mmh!” he suddenly moaned as the womb was stricken by stabbing pain. Reflexively, he curled his body slightly forward with lips still sealed against the brunet’s, and the pain continued pulsating and slowly pulled him back to reality.

‘ _What am I doing?_ ’ he wondered and opened his eyes to see the young alpha being drunk from lust and enjoying the kiss with a closed eye. ‘ _If he claims me, then what will be left of me?_ ’

The wounded and disoriented omega had to quickly scramble his self together from the aftermath of what had been done to him, and he greedily collected the remnants of his proud self into a pile and decided to protect it with teeth and claws. Utter defeat was yet to consume him, even now after his unborn child had been taken away from him in a horrific way.

‘ _Every time you have taken something from me, I still find something more within me to fight for_ ,’ he thought and hoped he would never grow empty.

“Mmmh…!” he gasped instead once the pain subsided for a little while, pretending to still be in the heat he had just woken up from. “Ahhh…” he continued and kissed the brunet harder. “Mmh… You really want me?” his whisper asked the other.

“Yes…” Orange answered in a daze and kept kissing the omega, who coiled his tongue around the brunet’s before asking with a sultry gasp:

“How much?”

The young alpha huffed out his answer:

“More than anything…”

Slaine pushed his body harder against the young man’s, who swallowed and sought for the blond’s lips again. The omega pulled back just slightly, his arms still around the brunet’s neck.

“You want me to be yours?” he whispered and licked the brunet’s lips seductively. “To mate with you… Fuck you senseless and let you cum in me?”

“I do…” the brunet whispered, soaring higher on the gust of lust Slaine blew beneath his wings.

“Yeah?” the omega chuckled with pretended lust and kissed him again, twirling his wet and warm tongue around Orange’s. “Mmh… To wait for you here…” he whispered and kissed him again before continuing: “For you to come and take me and fill my belly with your cum?”

“Slaine…” the young alpha moaned, unknowing of the omega’s spiteful trap.

“To spread my legs for you whenever you want and moan and gasp beneath you while I claw your back from how good you feel…” he whispered with a moan and licked Orange’s lips before he sucked at them for a moment, and then sighed into the brunet’s ear: “… when your hot cock pushes deep inside me so you can make me pregnant with your babies?”

Orange’s hands were gripping Slaine’s waist so hard from inexperienced and agonized lust that the omega was certain his fingers would leave bruises where he held him. The young alpha wanted him to the point he was blinded by the need. Slaine let him linger there in a demonical fashion, focused on the other’s burning desire to mount him while kissing him and leading him on to fall deeper and deeper into the little pit of venom he had created for him.

When he thought the brunet’s yearning had risen high enough, he finally gave him a harsh slap over the cheek and pushed him away from him with furious power. Orange fell backwards onto his back and hit the back of his head against the floor, and Slaine brushed saliva off his lips and glared at the brunet:

“To hell with you!” he yelled angrily. “I’m not your damn dog that sits here obediently and waits for my master to come and pet me, nor am I your personal sperm bank! How dare you think of me as something like that?! If you want me to give you what you want, then it should be on my terms and my terms only, and as long as I’m locked up in here nothing will be on my terms!”

Orange sat up slowly and closed his eye tightly to collect his thoughts and wake up from the heat and pain. Then he rubbed the back of his head and frowned when finally looking up at Slaine. The look the omega got was strange; it was almost as expressionless as always, but this time he saw hurt somewhere deep in that burgundy eye. Slaine had hurt him with the ruthless rejection, and the blond began to feel fear; he knew he had done something really bad as Orange did not show anger like Slaine expected him to.

‘ _D-don’t leave me…!_ ’ he thought and felt his own anger disappear.

“You have found back to your usual self,” the brunet said emotionlessly, but he sounded somewhat tired. “While I think you have all the right in the world to keep fighting, I believe you are pushing yourself into a corner. I am patiently waiting for you to choose me while fearing Häkkinen will get to you first; I won’t mark you unless you let me, even if there’s a danger of Häkkinen winning over you. If that is not on your terms, then I don’t know what else I can do. If that’s not proof of how much I care, then I don’t know what else I can do.”

Slaine stared at him, shocked from hearing the other reveal how much he actually respected him.

“I…” the blond began, but his voice got lost on its way out as the fear of being abandoned rendered him silent.

Orange got up from the floor, defeated by Slaine’s malicious rejection, and headed for the door.

“I have contacted the empress to let her know what is going on,” he suddenly said, and the blond felt how all warmth poured out of him at hearing that. “I have tried my best to protect you, but after what happened between you and Häkkinen, I fear that I can’t help you. She will come to see you in two days for an emergency visit. I thought I should let you know.”

Slaine felt a horrible tremble shoot through his body. Asseylum was going to come and see him! His crimes toward her were unforgivable. He wanted to dig a hole somewhere and die rather than look her in the eyes and hear her tell him how disappointed she was in him. Bravery abandoned him all together; he admitted he was a coward and unable to face the consequences of his crimes – the consequences he had not planned on facing to begin with. What would she say to him? What would she not say to him? Both her words and silence were terrifying. Never had he thought he would fear her like this.

“As for us,” the brunet continued in his usual tone of voice, but also with a hint of hurt at the bottom of his words, making them heavy, and reached for the door handle. “I think I should let you have it the way you want and leave you alon-”

Slaine gave him no chance to finish what he was going to say. He could not bear hearing it being said that Orange had finally given up on him. What would happen to him if Orange disappeared?

‘ _I’ve been too harsh_ ,’ he admitted and hurried up from the floor, his ears deafened by a pulse hammering against his eardrums out of fretfulness. He knew Orange was just a breath away from disappearing from his life completely, which made the blond hold his breath. If he did not stop him from leaving, he was certain he would never see him again. ‘ _No! I don’t want that!_ ’

Out of pure fear, the blond ran up to the brunet as Orange was about to open the door to leave, and slammed a hand against the door. It closed with a deafening bang, and Orange stood still in front of the frightened prisoner, his back against him.

“Forgive me!” Slaine exclaimed with a shrill voice and stared at the young man’s neck in front of him. The tousled hair covering the back of the other’s head quivered in the gust of his desperate breaths. “I’m so sorry…! Please, don’t go!”


	14. The Vulnerable

Inaho felt the blond young man’s breaths against his neck. The owner of them was frightened and in desperate need to apologize. The door had been slammed shut in front of him the moment Inaho had begun to open it, and the handle had slipped out of his hand from the brute force; his fingers ached slightly.

Inaho felt angry. He felt hurt. What the blond had done to him had been too much out of line; he could handle most of his abuse because he knew how pressured and frightened the other was, but this was too much even for him. Slaine had obviously rejected him, and possibly in the worst way possible. The brunet felt little trust in the other, and he had a feeling he would not gain trust for a long time even after these wounds had healed.

He understood Slaine was terrified. He understood he was without hope. What he could not understand was why Slaine was rejecting him like this. Had he not promised him protection? He had done everything he could, resulting in a serious reprimand from his superiors for having spoken too freely about the prisoner’s situation with a cut in his monthly pay, forcing him to move out into a smaller apartment than the one he had now due to the sudden financial issues. While he did not regret anything, as he believed he had done what was morally right to do, he could still not shake off the brutal rejection Slaine had given him just now. His heart ached horribly.

“I’m sorry…” the blond young man breathed right behind him, slightly calmer than seconds before, still leaning against his arm against the door in front of the brunet. His arm brushed against his left shoulder. “D-don’t go… Please…”

“Why?” Inaho asked silently. “Why are you afraid to let me go?”

The other hesitated behind him, and the brunet let him think without turning around to look at him; he did not fear him.

“B-because…” he heard Slaine say silently before he hesitated for a little while. After a shaky breath, he continued: “If you go… What will happen to me if you go?”

“It’s all in the hands of the empress,” Inaho answered in his usual manner; matter-of-factly. “It’s up to her.”

Slaine went silent again for a while, probably thinking things through before he decided to continue:

“If you leave, she will be my only option?”

“Yes, unless you want to bond with the vice admiral,” the brunet answered. “You have rejected me, and I accept that now. I think I have shown enough lenience with your abuse. I know I might come off as cold or emotionless, but even I have the ability to feel feelings that hurt – even if I’m an alpha. I won’t blame you for what you’re doing, because I understand why you do it, but it hurts nonetheless.”

Again, Slaine went silent. These pauses gave the brunet a feeling the other was erratic in his thoughts, thinking about his options in a chaotic manner while feeling sincerely afraid to be left behind. If Inaho decided to leave, Slaine could not follow because of the locks and bars. This was indeed unfair as it was on Inaho’s terms to come and go as he pleased – just like Slaine had said moments earlier – but this was the only way things could be; there was no other option for as long as Inaho had no power.

‘ _Only you can grant me the authority I need to change this_ ,’ he thought. ‘ _If you let me mark you, I can help you because our bond must be honored by those in charge of this place if they want to keep you alive_.’

“I … can’t…” the omega whispered with a whimper from raw grief. “For years I have fought… I can’t just accept a bond…”

“Why?” Inaho demanded to know, and Slaine sighed heavily. His breath tickled the brunet’s neck.

“To be owned by someone…” he said quietly and sniffled; he was crying. “The mark-“

“Is the utter symbol of discrimination, dehumanization, ownership and abuse,” Inaho interrupted him, reciting this from his memory. “To be marked is the same as being a dog in a collar. A bird in a cage. A slave. An object. A trophy. You have used plenty of metaphors to describe it.”

“Why do you-?”

“I read your notes,” Inaho said, still facing the door. “I know what you think of being marked, and I also know what you feel about a bond. I am also aware of what you’ve been thinking lately, as I read it in your notes, and I think you should stop blaming the entire alpha population for what a selective group has done to you. You’re fighting me solely because you’re afraid – I know – but I think you have mistaken something: I’m not merely doing this for selfish reasons. I’m doing this mainly to save you. Of course I care about you because you’re my fated mate, enough to want to mate with you. But more than anything, I want to save you; I don’t ask to be bonded with you solely because I want to; I ask you because we have no other choice.”

This time, the brunet wanted to turn around and look at the crying blond behind him to look him in the eyes and let him know how sincere he was, but hands took a hold of his shoulders and stopped him.

“D-don’t … turn around,” the omega whispered, not releasing the brunet from his hands.

Inaho stood still and obeyed his request. He suspected the other was too frightful to let the brunet see him in the mess he was in.

“I understand if you feel like a trophy when you’re in the hands of Häkkinen,” Inaho continued. “But I think you’re doing yourself a disfavor by accusing me of the same crime. You’re not a thing to me. You’re not a pet. You’re the one treating yourself like that by taking away your own value the moment I’m close by, and then you accuse me for being the culprit. I never had the intention of dehumanizing you, and never will.”

He felt so tired it was ridiculous. He had tried to give the blond time to realize this himself, or at least change his feelings and thoughts about the brunet by showing patience and support, but the prisoner had refused. He had been too certain that he was being treated like a trophy that Inaho’s patience with him had not changed anything. Perhaps the brunet had done things the wrong way, or perhaps Slaine was brainwashed by the abuse from his past, but even the young alpha had an end to his emotional energy. He had done what he could with the little resources he had, and there was nothing more to do. The ball was in Slaine’s hands, and if he refused to throw it back to the brunet, nothing else could be done to change this situation.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,” the brunet finally said after a long pause, now ready to leave. “I tried, and it wasn’t enough. Excuse me.”

When he tried to open the door once more, the hands on his shoulders gripped the shirt tightly and refused to let him go. Again, Inaho was arrested.

“I’m so scared. I’m sorry…” Slaine whispered. “I went too far…”

“I know how afraid you’ve been,” Inaho said. “That I, too, read in your notes. How your heart beats hard enough your paralyzed body rocks. How the pulse hammers in your ears, enough it deafens you, and how you feel your blood pulse from terror even in your tongue and in the gums between your teeth. ‘Into every corner of the body his fear reaches, like water seeping through the creases of rocks’ you said in your notes. ‘The smell and taste of bloody iron he can sense, when invaded by Their hands and throbbing cocks.’ You’ve gone through horrors, and you have all the right to not trust anyone, but if you won’t show trust at all, you’ll always be alone, Slaine.”

A sharp inhalation was heard behind him, and the blond whispered:

“I’m so sorry…”

Inaho wanted to forgive him, but he was too tired to hold on to hope. His heart was shattering from this realization, and he wanted to leave as soon as possible to ease the pain.

“I hope you find peace with the empress. I’m sure Seylum will take care of you from now on. I should go now,” the brunet then said quietly and shook his shoulders free from Slaine’s grip.

He opened the door and felt disappointed the prisoner did not stop him this time as well. With a heavy heart, he took the first step out into the corridor, ready to accept the end of their struggle, but was suddenly halted by unexpected words:

“Two children?!” he heard the desperate being exclaim behind him. “Is that all you ask of me?”

Inaho turned around and looked at the omega who was in tears; his cheeks were wet and there were dark spots on the sweater over his chest where the tears had fallen. The tropically colored eyes were wide from fear as he stared at the brunet, and the soft and cherry-colored lips were slightly parted as he sobbed.

Had Slaine changed his mind? Would he let Inaho mark him? Even if the brunet knew he should not keep his hopes up, he could not help it anyway. He was a fool, too much in need of his fated mate’s love for his own good.

“I told you I ask of no children,” the brunet answered and watched as surprise mixed with the fear in Slaine’s expression. “If we bond, we’ll give them a lie that I’m infertile.”

Slaine got deep creases on his forehead as he stared at the brunet with trouble in his expression. Then, after a pause, he shook his head.

“Impossible,” he said with a voice still trembling; he was probably shaking all over. “Your genes are strong and you’re healthy; you don’t smell like someone who has unproductive seed. Even an alpha can tell since the smell is strong in your pheromones. Your body is bustling with life.”

Inaho knew the blond was telling the truth. He was indeed fertile considering how strong his heats were when he was close to Slaine and felt the omega’s powerful pheromones. This was something the higher-ups would probably notice quite quickly despite the brunet’s lies.

Both Inaho and Slaine were fertile enough they would probably make a child on their very first attempt if they decided to try; it would be impossible to hide from others. Despite that, Inaho had been ready to argue for his right to choose not making a child and claim the bond had been an accident. Then again, if Slaine would not produce a child according to the breeding program the higher-ups had decided on, he would be in the risk of being executed as he served no other purpose after what he had done to Häkkinen – unless Seylum saved him.

‘ _Not even me risking death because of a fated bond being denied would make them want to spare him if they decide to execute him_ ,’ Inaho thought and felt hopeless.

“Then one child,” Inaho told him. “If you choose me, I will only ask one child from you. I believe the higher-ups would be fine with that if I stand my ground. But if you want more, we will make as many children as you wish, and you will get to nurse all of them and I’ll support you through it all.”

The blond stared at him for a while before turning his gaze down against the floor. He dried his tears and snot away with the sleeve of his sweater and then asked quietly:

“We will make it work?”

Inaho nodded.

“I promised you,” he answered, and the omega sighed heavily and said:

“Let me think about it… Just for a little while more. In the meantime, don’t leave me alone in here…”

Inaho decided to give the blond young man a last chance, although he did not say it out loud as he wished not to put pressure on the other with such ultimatums. He was already going through enough as it was, and Inaho wanted him to have as much peace around him as possible now that he was hurt and bleeding.

The brunet also feared that now as Slaine was free from the shackled of the pregnancy, he was suicidal and a danger to himself. The behavior just moments before had been suspicious; Slaine had been a little too fixated with the pen, he thought, which caused a need to have him under observation. Even if he could ask a guard to keep an eye on him, Inaho had a feeling Slaine would not be able to relax even the slightest with a stranger close by, which made him comply with the other’s plea.

The pitiful young man was already tense enough about Seylum’s visit in two days; during the oncoming hours, Inaho saw him rub his fingers and hands, pick and pull at the elastic cuffs on the sweater, chew on his lower lip until it began to bleed and wear a stressful expression. It made the brunet alert of his behavior, to make sure Slaine would not attempt to hurt himself.

The night was spent mostly in silence. Inaho sat next to the desk once again and filled in the papers he had planned to hand over to the empress to let her know what had been going on in this prison. At one point, Slaine needed to change the pad and the brunet showed him to the toilet down the corridor. Once the blond came out, he was pale and wet from cold sweat. Apparently he had gotten nauseous the moment he had seen the blood and nearly panicked, but he had managed to somehow hold himself together and gotten the pad changed. Instead, he was anxious when he came out, and Inaho showed him back into the infirmary and let him have another pill to calm him down.

This did not seem to work. Slaine became sluggish and tired, but the pill could not calm his anxiety. Instead, he curled up in a corner, as far away from Inaho as possible, hiding inside the blanket and cried.

Inaho let him cry; the blond clearly felt the need to do just that – alone.

αβΩ

_Right after Trillram had finished the rape and left, and the blond boy had released a heartbreaking howl from missing his dearly beloved princess, the omega’s stomach began to ache. It was a dull ache, leaving Slaine to wonder how wounded he was inside. Because he knew nothing of sex and what it meant to be an omega, he had had no way of knowing what was going to happen next._

_The blood from inside him did not stop flowing. Along with it, strands of milky white liquid slithered to the floor. The ache increased slowly and steadily, gave him nausea and headache while he tried to wipe the blood and seed away in the bathroom, until it stabbed him with force. He gasped and moaned from pain and doubled over, arms around his thin waist of a young teenage boy. What had the cruel baron done to him? Why did the blood not stop appearing?_

_Sudden thoughts of doom came over him and the walls vibrated with horrors. The floor beneath him slithered like silverfish and the ceiling loomed over him like it was ready to squish him. A gasping cry escaped him as he watched the blood flow out of him, down onto the floor, dripping from the tip of his shy penis and sliding down his pearly-white thighs._

_He was dying. Trillram had killed him. He just had to wait for the tolling bell to stop ringing and announce his end, and then he would die. Blood. It did not stop. Blood, blood… It pooled between his feet with light drops. Pieces of tissue – much like threads and lumps of deep-red jelly – replaced Trillram’s milky fluid and the stabbing pain increased even more. He cried out with a broken voice, howled and screamed from terror that crawled over his skin._

Again, he woke from a scream that echoed somewhere close by and he flung up from the floor, startled like a wild animal. A dull ache stabbed him and something warm and disgusting trickled from inside him. When he looked down he released a frightened gasp again as he expected to see Trillram’s semen mixed with his own blood on the floor. There was nothing, however, and his initial panic calmed down.

It took him a short while to realize he had had a nightmare about his past and that he had been the one to scream. His heart was racing and his head pounded horribly from the fast and forceful pulse. He remembered that horrible day all too clearly when he had lain on the bathroom floor on Castle Cruhteo and thought he would die.

“A-are you all right?” he heard a female voice ask, and Slaine looked up at this person with a start. Yuki’s face came into view, and the distraught omega remembered where he was. “You were tossing and turning in your sleep again, and then you began moaning and suddenly screamed. But you’re safe here, so calm down.”

“Y-you!” he gasped and dried the salty pearls from his forehead that threatened to fall into his eyes. He was cold-sweating and trembling. “What are you doing here?!”

“Well good morning to you too,” she said with raised eyebrows, looking somewhat hurt. “Nao had to go to sleep a couple of hours ago and I took the next shift of guarding you. He’s still out cold after watching you throughout the night. It’s soon ten in the morning.”

Slaine ran his fingers through the dirty blond hair and took a deep breath to calm his upset heart. Then he noticed his neck and back hurt, probably after falling asleep in his little corner on the floor. He threw a look at the examination table that served as his bed, and decided to crawl up on it with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He said no word to the female alpha in the room, but she did not hesitate to voice a couple of words:

“The obstetrician will be here in a little while and check up on you. Once that’s done, you can be moved to the personnel room and lie down in front of the TV if you want.”

Slaine frowned from surprise.

“Why?” he asked and listened to the other answer:

“Because we all think you should be given a break.” She made a pause and sat down on the squeaky chair next to the working desk. “Watching a movie is better than watching a wall, don’t you think?”

So now he got the chance to distract his mind. And with a TV at that. Such luxury. It was better than the magazines he had watched Yuki read outside his cell in the mornings; instead of reading up on useless gossip about people he did not know even by name, he had something to do that would entertain him with visuals and audio.

“Why are you here?” he asked instead as he was curious about the woman being there instead of another guard.

“Huh?” she asked and blinked.

“After what happened between us,” Slaine said and raised his aching body up from the table and turned to look at her, sitting like a tailor with his legs crossed, continuing somewhat angrily: “To think you have the nerve of showing your face in front of me again.”

Yuki pouted and put her hands onto her hips, glaring at the insulting omega.

“Well, get used to this face of mine. Heck, learn to love it!” she barked and then sighed with a defeated expression. “Listen. I admit I went too far that day when I belittled your experiences. I simply felt like you were being unfair when saying we alphas get everything served on a silver platter. In a way, I guess you’re right if compared with the omega population. And after what you went through yesterday, I think I can even say we alphas shove the contents of these silver platters down our throat with silver spoons.” She took a deep breath and hesitated just a little, before she said quietly: “I’m sorry. I really am…”

Why would her clumsy words of apology matter to him? Why did she even think he cared? Perhaps he was happy somewhere in a deep corner of his darkened heart to be acknowledged as someone in pain, but – in all honesty – what she thought meant nothing to him.

As Slaine decided to stay silent and not tell her a word of his honest feelings, the woman sighed and rolled her eyes from frustration. Then she shook her head as if to clear her mind and asked:

“You dream a lot of nightmares, don’t you?” Again, the omega stayed silent. “You have woken up like this many times now; screaming and sweating buckets. What did you dream about this time?” Again, only silence followed. Slaine was not interested in explaining anything to her as he knew she asked because her job position demanded her to ask. She tried to be patient and waited for a while, but once the silence became deafening she groaned: “Your heart is like a fucking fortress. No matter how we bombard you to open you up, you withstand us nonetheless. We’re trying to help you; stop pushing us away.”

Slaine scoffed. Her pathetic anger was amusing in a sense as it was as obvious she thought of it as annoying she could not reach him. People were always curious about those who said very little, enough curious to even despise them for being so mysterious. It got worse with those who refused their help when being restrictive with the people they let up close; the restrictive and refusing ones were treated with frustration by those who tried to force their help on them.

Perhaps Yuki wanted to help him, or perhaps she tried because she had to. Even if she had showed him great concern for what had been done to him, by being there for him and looking out for him when he was in need, he was still unable to let her close. There was no need to; he did not need her. He suspected she could not handle what she asked of him as he was sure his past was beyond the horrors she could imagine, which made him not want to bother with letting her snoop around in his heart; he wanted to avoid bleeding out for someone who couldn’t stomach the task of collecting his blood.

To try this hypothesis out, he decided to test her. If nothing else, he would be humored by her disgusted reaction as he told her about a fragment of the revolting world of a fallen omega.

“You want to take a peek?” the blond asked and gave her a tired but condescending smile. “Then let me tell you something I haven’t told anyone before and watch my heart bleed as I do.”

Yuki froze and stared at him with surprise and shock mixing on her face to finally being given a chance to know the prisoner’s past. Was she even holding her breath from anticipation?

“My first heat as an omega was a horrible experience,” Slaine began, still with the condescending smile on his dry and broken lips. “I was fourteen years old and had no idea what an alpha or omega was, nor did I not know what sex was either. When my heat came I was immediately granted the honor of becoming a fallen omega by the lord of the Landing Castle. I’m sure you know what that means.”

Yuki nodded slowly and frowned. She wore a troubled expression when she said:

“An omega who whores themselves out or is forced by someone.”

“Indeed,” the omega said and leaned his head back against the wall to stare up at the ceiling. “My first time having sex was in the form of rape. I had no idea what my lord was doing when he shoved his cock inside me and made me feel all these weird things, but I knew right from the start I had no other value except to please him. Right after that, he threw me out of his room and my scent attracted unwanted attention. Half a dozen alphas chased me into my room and pushed me down, and a week-long gangbang took place, with new people coming and going.”

He lowered his head to look at Yuki’s expression to study her reaction to what he told her. She was gritting her teeth and pressed her lips together with knitted eyebrows forming creases on her forehead. This sight pleased him greatly as she seemed to be giving up, not being able to hold her feelings in check – proving him right.

“You didn’t know why they … did all that to you?” she asked, and Slaine shook his head.

“I didn’t understand it as no one had educated me at all in the reproduction aspects of life,” the blond answered and sighed. “I began to form my own concept of what I was and what was being done to me as that was all I could do. We come to be in the eyes of others, did you know that?; the way they look at you gives you a sense of who and what you are.” He pushed himself up from the bed to stand on his feet and he groaned from the dull ache reminding him his body was still working painfully hard. “Two weeks after my heat I was raped again by a superior, and this time it hurt a lot because I was not in heat. He left me in my room once he was finished and that was when I noticed I was bleeding. It was just a couple of drops; there were more sperm than blood in the beginning so I didn’t think much of it,” he said and saw a nauseous expression well over Yuki’s face. He grinned tiredly; she was reacting just like he thought she would.

‘ _When will you run with your tail between your legs?_ ’ he wondered. ‘ _You alphas are all the same; protected from the harsh truths_.’

“Did he tear you?” she asked somewhat unwillingly, and Slaine shrugged.

“Perhaps. I’m not sure,” he purred with a sigh and continued, taking a step toward the woman who tensed up: “Because a little moment later, my stomach began to ache all the more and the blood flow increased. I panicked as I thought my rapist had fatally wounded me on the inside. I tried to wipe the blood and sperm away, but the blood just continued flowing. Instead, it gathered on the floor between my bare feet. Imagine the terror I went through.” Yuki turned her eyes down and the frown deepened on her brow. Satisfied, Slaine smiled as he was proving his point; she would not be able to stomach his past, and continued: “I lay on the floor and screamed and cried until I had no strength left. My mind blanked and I ended up accepting death as I believed I was dying. I surrendered completely and waited for my moment to come. In the end, I lay there until I got hungry. Then I became strangely bored as I never seemed to take my last breath.”

“And then?” Yuki asked carefully and stepped away from him as he took another step closer.

Slaine smiled tiredly and determinedly closed the distance between him and her and leaned closer, answering:

“I had never heard of menstruation before, and I had no idea that was happening to me. I only learned of it later when they found me on my bathroom floor, dazed from confusion and shock and covered in my own dry blood.” Yuki swallowed down the nausea Slaine’s story caused. Would she run away or reject him now? He pushed a little more with a whisper to force her into a corner: “They slapped me over my cheek for making them search for me, explained it was ‘just a period’ and told me to get pads and get back to work. Then they left.”

He was so close to her now he could hint tears in her eyes. She refused to raise her eyes and look at him, and Slaine took a quiet and slow breath before pulling back from her.

‘ _You’ll leave the moment you get the chance_ ,’ he thought and released the breath with a sigh.

“Satisfied?” he asked and moved back to the examination table, on which he sat down and pulled his knees back up against his chest. “Did that tickle your psychopathic curiosity?”

Before Yuki got time to say something after brooding on what she had heard, the door opened and the blond’s body tensed up. With a swift movement of his head, he turned to look at this person who dared to enter the infirmary, but found it a relief to see the obstetrician step inside the room with a black leather briefcase.

“Good morning,” the man said with a slight smile as he closed the door behind him. He looked from Slaine to Yuki and back again. “How are we feeling today? Did you get enough sleep?” he then asked the omega.

A sense of great liberation washed over Slaine as he saw the familiar face of the gentle man who had taken so well care of him the night before after the traumatic event with Häkkinen. The kindness the other had showed still lingered in the blond’s heart that also seemed to calm down along with his body relaxing from relief. At last, Slaine was safe in the presence of a fellow omega, and he could not even begin to describe how easily it made him breathe.

Yuki threw one last glance at the omega before she left the room, and Slaine dared to lie down onto the examination table and curled up beneath the blanket while watching the obstetrician prepare some papers before he sat down onto the chair. Then, he watched as the man picked up a notebook from a bag and Slaine immediately recognized it as his. It was worn on the edges and bent here and there as he had used it so frequently.

“I have protected this with my life, body and soul,” the obstetrician said with an uplifting tone, letting Slaine know he was clearly exaggerating. This alarmed the prisoner, though, as the notebook contained very intimate writings. “I snatched it from your cell last night before anyone else could find it, but I must apologize for not being able to stop my curiosity and read some of what you’ve written.”

Slaine held his breath. He could only stare at the obstetrician who held the notebook in both hands and looked at the omega. It took a small moment for the man to understand the blond was not approving of him lacking self-control.

“I’m sorry. I really am,” the obstetrician carefully continued. “If it’s any consolation, I think what you have written is beautiful, heart-wrenching and enlightening. I didn’t know you could write poetry, and I think you have done a marvelous job. The different styles of handwriting for the different scenarios are an interesting touch; when you write something infuriating, you press hard with your pen, and when you write about happy things you write with perky letters. While writing about harmonious feelings and love, you write with exquisite cursive letters.”

Slaine stared at him with a slight foreboding feeling despite the copious amounts of praise he got; he could not shake the paranoia off him that had clutched itself onto his back and whispered frightening things from behind his ear.

“I … didn’t know I could either,” the blond answered quietly beneath his breath.

“Really? This is your first try? Then, I’m quite impressed. I guess you haven’t had anything better to do. Boredom has given many geniuses the right kind of inspiration to create masterpieces,” the obstetrician said. “Can we talk a little about what you’ve written?”

What was there to say about his writings?, Slaine wondered. He had written as honestly as he could, which had been the reason why he had protected his constructed text so aggressively. If people got to read what he had written the past weeks, they would most likely want to know more and would do the same thing Yuki had done before the obstetrician had arrived; to want to help him in some way.

He was unable to trust them wanting to help him with altruistic intention; people always had some kind of secret motive they wanted to fulfill by helping others. May it be reasons like clearing their conscience to sleep better at night, or manipulate people into doing things they wanted under the disguise of help and support; they always had something to gain. Or – what Slaine suspected in his case – to find a way to make him survive and produce offspring to a stranger.

Besides, he could not handle being in debt to others by accepting help from them. He preferred to do things his own way as he had the control over his own life; there was no need to trust in others’ competence because he would always end up cleaning up the mess if they turned out to be inept.

When Slaine did not answer, the obstetrician opened up a page in the notebook he had marked and read a couple of paragraphs that were written to describe the hope Slaine had gotten just from remembering Asseylum’s kind existence. He had written about how the image of her had spurred him to keep surviving and kept him from giving in to the terrors he had lived through – how her voice had even made him want to live only for the sake of him hopefully seeing her again.

The amateur poet gritted his teeth hearing the man read two verses from his pathetic attempt to put his life narration into words. It was mortifying as he felt self-conscious about it. He knew full well he was not a great poet, but the creativity had required some more thought than just writing normally; it had silenced his emotions and given him a chance to breathe properly, sparing him from painful thoughts.

“When you wrote about Voice, you wrote with cursive letters. Would you mind telling me about Voice?” the obstetrician then asked, and Slaine sighed and pulled fingers through the dirty blond hair. “It seems to have helped you survive according to what you’ve written here.”

Asseylum… Her image still gave his heart a gentle caress, but now that he knew she was on her way to visit him as early as tomorrow, he felt a painful pang hit his chest. It was not safe to think about her now; he feared her face and voice more than anything compared to his younger years. At the same time, he felt conflicted as he wanted to feel her presence again. If she only knew how much she had saved him when he had been young; her voice had always stuck with him; the way it rose and fell when she spoke to him with a gentle tone. Her kindness had given him motivation and a wish to continue living even in this prison, as he knew she would become sad and hurt if he had taken his own life to end his pain.

‘ _How warped_ ,’ he suddenly thought as he realized this. ‘ _I continue living in this hell because my death would make her unhappy_.’ Just like on Castle Cruhteo. This had been his reason to cry the moment Orange- … the moment Inaho had told him she had been the one who wanted to save the blond once the war was ending, and that Inaho had honored her request by putting Slaine in here. Then again, he had failed – not because he had done his job poorly, but because he was too young of an alpha to protect Slaine from those who governed his life in this prison. ‘ _I was happy to have gotten her blessing; that she wanted to keep me safe, but I’m not safe at all._ ’

Was this why she had decided to come and see him? Was her intention to come here to take him away? She could not possibly execute him; she had gone out of her way to save the blond omega’s life.

‘ _Will she want to use me too?_ ’ he thought and felt how forbidden that thought was. The beautiful and kindhearted Asseylum would never do such a thing to him, would she? ‘ _Of course not! What am I thinking?!_ ’ he scolded himself.

But… What if? What if she wanted him to give her children? Her husband – Klancain Cruhteo – was an alpha as well after all, meaning he would not be able to give her children. Heirs to her bloodline were crucial because of the Aldnoah activation factor – the power that only resided in her family, and she needed a lot of heirs to secure Vers’ future; the nation would crumble without Aldnoah. With Lemrina dead, Asseylum was the only one left to mate with omegas.

‘ _But she has willing omegas, right?_ ’ he thought and would find it strange if she had not taken several omegas as her mates; there was no doubt she had countless of candidates willing to become royal breeders and give her children of her own for the sake of being protected in her palace and live a comfortable life. The life of an omega was beyond horrible in Vers, after all. ‘ _However, she’s not that kind of person…_ ’ he then thought. ‘ _She wouldn’t mindlessly take omegas to be her royal breeders even if she had to; she’s too pure for that – even if the future of her nation requires it._ ’

If it turned out to be the case that she would ask Slaine to give her children, Slaine feared he could not reject her even if Inaho was his fated mate. He was filled with too much guilt and thought he owed her his life to the smallest detail.

‘ _What do I do?_ ’ he thought and pressed his lips together. He did not like the thought of mating with her. Previously in his life, he would have gladly given her children, but now that he thought hard about it he found that it was not true at all. Honesty was something he could not ignore this time and mindlessly please the feelings of guilt from what he had done to her; he would have rather given Inaho children than her – even if he wished not to give children to anyone.

‘ _If Inaho really wants to save me, he could mark me and then let me go to Vers…_ ’ the omega thought and wondered if he could ask such a cruel request from the brunet. It would mean they became true mates and unable to see anyone else as even the alpha was affected by the powerful bond, and Slaine’s body would not answer to Asseylum. ‘ _Inaho would be left without a mate for the rest of his life…_ ’ the omega then thought and felt his heart ache again. ‘ _Or should I stay here with him and let him bond with me anyway?_ ’

The bond was a scary thing. He knew nothing about it of how it affected him and his mate as he had never experienced it. No omega had experienced it before they had been bonded. How in the world did the omegas in Vers and Earth dare to bond with alphas so seemingly easy while Slaine was afraid of it? It made no sense.

The blond omega looked up at the other omega in front of him, who waited patiently for Slaine to answer his question about Voice – or Asseylum, like Slaine had decided to call her in his life narration. The obstetrician was a bonded omega. He had a mate. What did he think about the bond and how did he experience it?

“Can I ask you a question?” Slaine said after contemplating for a while.

The obstetrician looked surprised but nodded, saying:

“Of course!”

“You have bonded with someone, right?” the blond wondered and watched the other omega nod while a difficult frown came over him. “How did you decide to bond with your mate?”

“That is quite a personal question to ask,” the obstetrician said carefully, studying the prisoner. “Why?”

Slaine sighed and curled up somewhat before he said silently:

“Because I’m afraid of the bond…”

“And you think you’ll be forced to bond with someone?” the man asked, and Slaine nodded. The obstetrician sighed heavily and rubbed his face with both hands after putting the prisoner’s notebook down on the desk behind him. “I have to be blunt and ask if this has anything to do with Inaho Kaizuka.” Slaine blinked as he was taken aback by the man’s question. “It’s all right; don’t worry about me telling anyone. I know you’re fated mates,” the man continued.

Slaine flung up from his cowering position and his heart began racing instantly again.

“How did you-?!” the omega exclaimed but got his answer:

“An omega has stronger pheromone sensitivity than alphas. When you were cleaning your cell, Kaizuka went into heat as he watched you through the security camera.”

“What? Why?” the omega asked confused. Why would Inaho go into heat from watching him clean?

“Because you were nesting,” the obstetrician answered. “An omega gets this behavior when they’re pregnant; they want to prepare the home for the baby. His sister and the warden weren’t affected at all, but Kaizuka couldn’t handle watching it _because_ he is your fated mate; he answered to your behavior like you were already bonded. That was when I understood something was going on, and I could also feel it in his scent. Also, your scent has changed from the first time I met you, which is probably a reaction to you having had some kind of sexual contact with your fated mate, am I right?”

Slaine stared at him dumbfounded. Had it been this obvious that they were fated mates? Slaine had to admit that after the first time he had kissed the brunet he had felt something change inside him, but to think the kisses and groping had left traces in his scent as well was mindboggling.

“W-we have only kissed and touched… We couldn’t help it,” the omega answered and felt so disoriented by all of this that he did not know what to think or say.

“That is more than enough,” the obstetrician answered. “I haven’t had the honor to meet fated mates in my life before since it’s so rare, but I am very aware of the behavioral theory behind it. Both of your behavior is all too obvious to me because I know what to look for.”

In other words, Slaine and Inaho were already too deeply involved in this business about mates and fate to be able to tear themselves from each other. But they had not bonded yet! How was that possible?

“You and your mate…?” Slaine asked but did not finish the sentence as he was certain the obstetrician knew what he wanted to ask.

“If we’re fated mates?” the man asked, quickly catching up on what Slaine had meant to ask. When the omega nodded, the man shook his head. “No, we’re in an arranged bond, so to speak; we fell in love and decided to bond, but there’s no fate involved.”

So he and Inaho were special. What they had was rare. It was probably the purest form of kinship in the world right next to the bond between a parent and child. The thought was somehow overwhelming as it began to make him realize how profoundly connected his fate was to Inaho’s. This enveloped him entirely, and he sighed and slumped down onto the examination table.

“What do you want to do?” the obstetrician asked, and Slaine pressed his lips together and frowned.

“I don’t know…” he whispered.

“Do you think you’re not allowed to decide?” he heard the man ask, and the blond turned his face away and stared at the pillow next to him. As he stayed silent, the obstetrician sighed and continued: “You need to talk to me. I know you have trust issues and I understand that, but you have to allow me to help you now that something very important is taking place in your life. This is even more important than making a baby.”

Slaine sighed. He was good at burying things within him and rarely asked anyone for help, he knew this all too well. In a sense, he could not understand what it would serve to ask someone for help. It was not like he actively decided not to allow anyone help him. He rather did not understand why anyone would help him and did not trust them to do it properly. Now, however, he was stuck. He could not fix this on his own.

‘ _I have to give up and ask for help…_ ’

“Am I allowed to decide?” he finally asked as he decided to swallow his pride and do what the man asked him to.

“Officially no,” the other answered and Slaine threw an angry look at him for having been made to ask such a useless question, but the obstetrician held up a hand to stop the blond before he would begin barking, and continued: “Before you attack me, let me at least say this: Even if those who keep you here say you aren’t allowed to decide anything concerning your own life, they can’t stop you from bonding with anyone by accident. So if you want to bond, then you should do that no matter what others say.”

In other words, the obstetrician supported Slaine’s decision to bond with someone outside the little box he had been given; there was no absolute rule that said he had to bond with Häkkinen, and that Slaine was allowed to make a decision on his own even if it was behind the backs of his demons.

“Even with Kaizuka?” the omega asked, and the obstetrician nodded, answering:

“If he wants that, then even with him.”

Slaine sighed as a strange relief washed over him. The obstetrician had not said it out plainly, but what he did say behind the words of a professional was that he would not stop the fated mates from bonding if they decided to do just that. Even if the blond was not entirely sure of what to do, at least one option had been secured: If he wanted to, Inaho would bond with him.

“What … happens?” Slaine asked quietly after deciding to satisfy his curiosity and calm his fear. “When bonding, I mean…”

The obstetrician propped up his leg over a knee and thought for a while, before he said:

“The arranged bond usually forms during mating after the bite if the omega accepts the alpha. The alpha gets aggressive right before they will try to bite the omega on the nape where glands are located on each side of the neck. These glands release hormones into the system that tells the brain a bond is being made. If the omega allows, the moment the omega’s nape is bitten they go weak and their mind becomes fuzzy.”

Slaine frowned and raised a hand to his neck. Was this what the alphas he had met throughout his life had tried to do to him?

‘ _I’ll become vulnerable like that in front of the alpha I bond with?_ ’ he wondered, loathing the primal process between mates.

The obstetrician continued:

“The alpha’s aggression increases from the changing scent from the omega telling them they’re biting in the right place, and bites down harder in different stages that affect the omega more for each stage, until the omega is completely limp and their scent has changed. This scent signals the alpha the mark has been properly made, and the alpha lets go of the omega and fulfills the mating. If the omega accepts the alpha, the mark will stay and their new scent will remain so the alpha can recognize it. If the omega rejects the bonding alpha, the mark will fade entirely and their scent will turn to normal.”

“I’ll go limp so the alpha can finish fucking me?” Slaine asked quietly and felt anger within him. Why was nature this cruel?

“You can see it like that if it’s a bonding moment with an alpha you don’t love,” the fellow omega said with a slight an apologetic smile. “But if the alpha that’s trying to bond with the omega is chosen by the omega by love, this moment will be quite profound and harmonious – deliriously wonderful to say the least and many times better than bringing a child to the world. You’ll be filled with these amazing hormones only an omega can feel, while the alpha is left to deal with their heat and gets nothing more than a strong gratifying feeling from the whiff of the omega’s changing scent.” The man chuckled, clearly remembering back to his own bonding moment.

Slaine did not feel any calmer though.

“It sounds just like the omega is drugged with a rape drug,” he said, speaking out what he thought about the matter.

The obstetrician frowned at hearing that, and looked at the omega with concern.

“I know you think of the bond as a leash, considering what you have written. Do you really think of it like the alpha owning the omega?” When Slaine nodded, the man sighed and pulled his fingers through his hair. “I know what you have been subjected to by alphas has been nightmarish, but I have to make you aware that you are making yourself into a victim by thinking like this. What you forget is that – unlike on Vers where omegas are collectibles by the rich – most bonds here on Earth happen because both the alpha and omega wants to bond, and not because anyone forces them into it. I know it might seem cruel that the alpha in an arranged pair can have multiple mates, but that is really rare, especially in countries where the norm is monogamy. Your fated mate has been born into such culture, remember that. I’m sure he doesn’t want to bond with you simply because he wants to own you. Besides, as fated mates, he goes under the same conditions as you do; you will own him just as much as he will own you, if you want to talk about who owns who, although I think the phrasing is quite problematic.”

He had a point with the fated mate perspective, but the blond still thought of it as a cruel imbalance between the sexes.

“Listen,” the man continued. “It’s a beautiful moment that you’ll only experience once in your life if you choose Kaizuka, and I’m perfectly sure Kaizuka doesn’t want to hurt you by _owning_ your womb, Slaine.”

“That’s because we’re fated mates?” Slaine asked, ignoring the man’s last sentence, and the obstetrician smiled a kind smile.

“Of course not; the way he looks at you speaks louder than words; he really cares for you. Fated mates are bonded for life _and_ death, unlike arranged bonds that are only bonded for life, which requires a lot of thinking, and Kaizuka has thought a lot,” he answered. “The bonding process is almost the same between fated mates as with arranged bonds, but the fated alpha and omega experiences this as much deeper. I have read reports that have studied this phenomenon that say the alpha and omega feel like they have found home from a long journey. I have never felt this with my partner, and nor have other pairs with an arranged bond, but these kind of descriptions are bafflingly common in fated pairs. Kaizuka wants to find his way home and, right now, you’re the only one who can guide him there; he’s lost without you. Then again, it’s still your choice what you want to do, but you have to stop thinking about yourself like a victim around him. At least think rationally about your decision concerning him, and base them on what you truly believe is the best for you without being worried about him hurting you, because he won’t.”

What he told the blond sounded too unbelievable for Slaine to believe it. It sounded like a fairytale told to brainwash omegas to want to become an alpha’s property, just like the stories about trolls and gnomes in the deep northern forests to keep children from wandering into the woods alone. He felt angry. He felt sad. It was just too difficult to accept that he would let something like what the obstetrician described to be done to him.

“Slaine,” the obstetrician said quietly, and the omega looked up at him with a start. “I know this is really difficult on you after everything you’ve gone through, and I also know the empress is visiting this facility tomorrow, which probably makes things feel even worse. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Slaine stared at him for a short moment while collecting his thoughts. Asseylum would come tomorrow, which meant he had little time to come to a decision of what to do with his fated mate. Would he bond with the brunet or not? Then again, the obstetrician had mentioned the bond forming during mating, and Slaine was not allowed to have sex now because of the miscarriage. If he decided to bond with Inaho, would he be able to do it anyway?

“What if the bonding pair can’t mate but tries to bond anyway?” he asked carefully, hiding his face behind his dirty bangs this time as he felt too vulnerable; he knew his question revealed what he was thinking about doing.

“There might be a loss of this wonderful feeling that I have spoken about because it’s linked to oxytocin, a hormone released during sex or other intimate bonding moments,” the obstetrician explained. “And the mark might not form, even if it does so in most cases. If it doesn’t, the mates will have to try again. It’s all about how accepting the omega is of the alpha.”

“So if I…” Slaine began and swallowed as his throat began to feel dry from nervousness. “If I decide I want to bond with Kaizuka, say today or tomorrow, and we can’t … do _it_ … then there might be a risk the bond won’t form?”

“You are correct, but since you’re fated mates, I wouldn’t worry about it,” the other omega answered and tilted his head as he looked at the blond. “Is there a reason why you want to bond with him this soon?” he then asked suddenly, and Slaine nodded and said:

“The empress might be here to take me away…”

A heavy silence lay to rest in the infirmary for a while, and Slaine gritted his teeth as he felt like crying yet again. This was so unfair. Nothing of what had happened had been in his control and this urgency to make a decision – to bond or not to bond with his fated mate – was stressing him out as he was not allowed to do all this in his own pace. Could the empress not have waited for at least a week more?

“Is losing your fated mate because of her a concern of yours?” the other asked, and Slaine sighed and decided to nod; it was not the entire truth but he could not bother explaining what was going on in his mind. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this as not enough studies has been made, but a recent study made on female betas showed there’s no physiological reason to delay attempts to get pregnant again after a miscarriage to after three months or more, like the general recommendations say today. Even if an omega has longer fertility cycle than female betas, there’s not much difference in the reproductive system between the two. This means it’s not harmful to have sex after a miscarriage either. If you’re careful and do it with a condom for now, I think there shouldn’t be too high risk of complications. I also believe physical touch is important in recovering from mental wounds such as a miscarriage, as words can be too painful at times, and if you think he can help you feel better by touching you, I strongly advise you to try that.”

Slaine nodded and sighed with a trembling breath, whispering:

“Thank you…”


	15. The Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay again. I'll probably be back to Wednesday updates from now on as things are calming down in RL.

“ _I don’t want you to see that boy again, you understand me? Rosalie? I forbid it._ ”

“ _Oh stop it, mother. You’ll give yourself a nosebleed._ ”

“ _This isn’t a game! Our situation is precarious. You know the money’s gone._ ”

“ _Of course I know it’s gone. You remind me every day_.”

“ _Your father left us nothing but his legacy of bad debts hidden behind a good name. That name is the only card we have to play. I don’t understand you! It is a fine match with Dockley; it would sure our survival._ ”

“ _How can you put this on my shoulders?!_ ”

“ _Why are you being so selfish?!_ ”

“ _I’m being selfish?!_ ”

“ _Do you want to see me working as a seamstress? … Is that what you want? To see our fine things sold at auction? Our memories to be scattered to the winds?_ ”

“ _It’s so unfair…_ ”

“ _Of course it’s unfair. We’re omegas. Our choices are never easy._ ”

The television shone up the little room that was much smaller than he had expected. In his isolated confinement, Slaine had somehow mistaken the personnel room to be bigger than it was. Perhaps it had been his thoughts running wild, believing the personnel was treated better than the prisoner, but now that he lay there on the two-seated couch – accompanied by Yuki on an armchair to the right of the couch, guarding the door – and stared absentmindedly at the movie running on the screen, he become conscious he had been fooling himself all along. The room was so small there was only room for a television on a small stand, a two seated couch that was too small for him to lie properly outstretched but very comfortable nonetheless, a leather armchair and a normal wooden chair in a corner with a radio on top. Between the couch and television stand, a little coffee table allowed some unloading space for coffee cups and plates. It was a little of a letdown; he had hoped for something more now that he finally got chance to lounge in front of a television in the ‘forbidden’ room he had only been able to fantasize about before.

They were a little more than one hour into the three hour long movie. The digital numbers on the player told him so. Yuki was consumed by the story as romantic drama was apparently her right element, and could not take her eyes off the screen while Slaine lay exhausted on the couch with a pillow beneath his head and a duvet over him. He had just a couple of hours earlier talked to the obstetrician about the bonding process, and was now – thanks to the movie – allowed to put his mind somewhere else than in the black kettle of swirling witches’ broth of horrible feelings about tomorrow’s visitor and difficult decisions. Even if he had difficulties of following the chronology of the story, the movie allowed him to space out now and then as it was easy to follow anyway; there was no need to know everything that was going on as it was a simple love story taking place right before a catastrophe.

Right now, while one of the main characters was scolded by her mother for being too involved with a young alpha male of low rank, who was probably her fated mate, Slaine was brooding over his options. To stay here and bond with Häkkinen – if the man would try again – or be executed. To stay here and bond with Inaho and have his children. To bond with Inaho but go with Asseylum to Vers. To go with Asseylum to Vers without being bonded to Inaho – if that was her intention with her visit tomorrow.

‘ _I haven’t had a choice for such a long time I feel incapable of making one now_ ,’ he thought and took a deep breath to ease the tightness in his chest before it would burst into a fit of anxiety. He was too tired to deal with that now.

“Oh damn… I think this is so interesting,” he heard Yuki say from somewhere above his head where he lay resting. “A high-class omega and a less than a working-class alpha… How unusual!”

“She as an omega isn’t still worth a dime despite her higher class status,” Slaine answered tiredly, frustrated that Yuki missed to acknowledge the omega’s worth in the movie. “The alpha is treated like a low-class citizen because he won’t conform to society’s norms and pursues his dream of being an artist, and the omega’s mother doesn’t want her to bond with him as the family would lose all of their chances to survive if the omega won’t bond with the rich fiancé that’s chosen for her.”

Yuki nodded with a pensive frown.

“Yeah, that’s true. The omegas who have been married or born into high-class families are always in a difficult position if the alpha in the family dies, and the higher class looks down on such alphas who won’t become leaders of some kind,” she said and looked somewhat troubled. “I think it’s bothersome that alphas aren’t allowed to pursue their dreams, like being an artist or musician, who are mostly betas. To think this story is about a world older than one hundred years, and yet the unspoken rules still apply to this day.”

Slaine sighed.

“Conservatism has never been fruitful to a nation’s development when it comes to justice,” he pointed out. “Besides, the high-class omegas’ wombs are treated like diamonds for the sole reason the omegas are worth a lot of social value due to their inheritance, compared to the low-class omegas,” the blond argued, trying to make her understand that he was trying to point out the low-class alpha in the movie could decide to climb the ladder of hierarchy if he just wanted to. “Because the high-class omegas have been born into a world of plenty, they have no choice but to bond with a high-class alpha so they can survive; they have no idea how the world outside high-class society works because they’ve been made dependent on an alpha, and if they venture out into the world anyway they might fall victim to a lot of horrible crimes because they don’t understand the harsh reality they’ve been protected from. Besides, Rosalie’s mother isn’t considered worth anything because she’s used commodity, which forces her to use her own daughter to survive; they always go for the virgin omega child because the world is obsessed with taking away someone’s purity, leaving the child a victim of human trafficking that’s been made legal because of the gender roles. Rosalie’s mother is basically selling her own daughter to a high-class alpha to get protection,” the prisoner argued, trying to make the alpha understand the omega in the movie was in much harsher situation than the young low-class alpha. “These roles are accepted by the entire world both on Earth and Vers; it’s like a worldwide socially accepted insanity, and no one wants to listen to the sane alternative because it’s safer to be insane along with everyone else than risk being the only sane one in the group. I doubt the alphas would like to have competition; they shit themselves the moment a sane omega threatens their hierarchical power and succeeds with suppressing them immediately because they outnumber the omega.”

Such was the situation on Vers – the system in their society Slaine had despised with a burning passion, and still did if it was active and unchanged by the empress.

“I have never thought of it like that. It’s really interesting and sad!” Yuki said in agreement, and Slaine groaned silently from frustration.

She clearly did not get it and had probably not had enough attention span to hear what the blond had been trying to tell her. It completely slipped her mind that Slaine did not only mean the world in the movie, but also covered the real world in his explanation.

The blond cursed himself for not being able to stop his mouth from arguing with her after the horrific fire of anger igniting within him from the topic; because he was too weak to put any harsh character into his voice, she did not understand he was trying to start an argument with her. He should have stayed silent instead, because now she believed they were mutually sharing same thoughts about the movie rather than arguing about reality, as they did according to Slaine.

‘ _I’m too tired to make her understand I’m trying to chew her head off_ ,’ he thought and sighed, and decided to put his attempt at arguing to rest; he was too tired from the medication he took.

The doctor had given him medication to keep the anxiety down, but what it really did was to make him exhausted and sluggish; it did not quench the fear of seeing the one he had wronged from coiling around like a snake within him, which frustrated him to no end. The staff seemed to think it worked, though, as he was calm on the outside. In reality, the medication simply locked the bad feelings inside him by making his body too tired to allow the feelings to surface and discharge so he could feel better.

‘ _These pills are a load of bullshit_ ,’ he thought from frustration and sighed again.

A bad feeling threatened to grow, and the weak omega had to move his heavy body to distract himself before the emotion exploded. He sat up on the couch and moved the pillow to the other end of the couch – the end furthest away from Yuki – and lay down again beneath the duvet. The bad feeling subsided from him breaking its growth, and he could lay to rest and continue watching the movie.

“ _My heart was pounding the whole time, for in that moment I became aware he was my fated mate. It was the most erotic moment of my life. Up until then at least_ ,” the voice of the narrating old woman said in the movie, and Slaine could hear a deep breath of awe from the woman guarding him before she spooked him, making him flinch, with a sudden high-pitched noise:

“So romantic!” Yuki squeaked in the armchair, raising a hand to her bosom to rest it there where her heart fluttered. “Don’t you think so too?” she asked him, and Slaine mumbled:

“I missed what happened.”

Yuki took a deep breath and blurted:

“They had like the most romantic moment ever by him drawing her!” she explained thrilled – not explaining much about the recent scene at all – and flapped her hands excitedly. “Should I rewind so you can see?”

“No,” the prisoner answered bluntly, and Yuki pouted just slightly before thrill perked up the corners of her lips again, and she asked:

“Do you think they’ll bond?”

“Who cares?” the tired blond answered, feeling somewhat frustrated he had to bother about fictional love in a situation like his. “They’ll probably die. You know what happens in a couple of hours; everyone knows.”

Yuki pouted with her hands drooping like broken wings, and then she folded her arms and grumbled:

“Well, at least I think they’ll live happily ever after. They’re fated mates, and I can’t think of any reason why the director would destroy their bond, because that’s not what the audience wants.”

“I hope they die,” Slaine said instead in a blunt but disinterested manner – feeling terribly childish but rightfully so – solely to anger her, and she instantly barked back at him:

“Then why not let everyone die on board the Titanic so you can be happy, huh?”

“Whatever floats my boat and all that…” Slaine grumbled and hugged his pillow.

“What a clever comment,” Yuki sighed with an angry and exasperated laugh, saying cynically: “Ha, ha, ha!”

‘ _Whatever…_ ’ the blond thought somewhat relieved he had managed to anger her; now they were on a different page or wavelength again.

Satisfied with the dissonance between him and her, he continued watching the movie – at times with his thoughts sailing somewhere else, and at times following the story playing out on the television.

αβΩ

“He is with my sis at the moment, watching a movie,” he said into the satellite phone in the office of the warden’s. “He doesn’t feel well at all. I have to question you coming this soon, Your Highness, for he is quite agitated about it.”

“ _Please, Inaho, don’t call me for such impersonal things. We are friends, are we not?_ ”

“Of course, Seylum. I’m sorry,” the brunet answered, feeling uneasy about her closeness in time.

It was not solely Slaine who was nervous about her showing up; Inaho, too, could not help but to feel worried about her coming to see the blond prisoner. She had so much more power than he could ever have, which felt like a threat to him now as he almost has Slaine in his grasp.

“ _As for Slaine, I fear for his condition and I need to see him as soon as possible_ ,” the beautiful voice said from the other end of the space between Earth and Mars _._ “ _I do care about him still as he is a dear friend of mine despite all that he has done, and if he needs me to, I shall take him with me to Vers._ ”

Inaho’s heart pounded from hearing that. He feared Slaine would not hesitate to go with her if she got the chance to ask him the question. The blond had been obsessed with her for many years, which made Inaho feel like he was fighting a losing battle. He knew the blond-haired young man was scattered by the decisions he had to make as well, and if she came with the kind suggestion to take him away from here, Slaine was sure to accept.

‘ _I’m losing him?_ ’ he wondered and asked with a steady voice:

“When will you arrive?”

“ _I have informed the UE I shall come through the Hyper Gate in Geneva around one o’clock Earth time. I shall be in the suburb of Bern within two hours_ ,” the empress answered, and Inaho felt all the more uneasy.

“Then I’ll wait for your arrival,” the brunet said as bravely as he could.

“ _You are always so kind. Thank you, Inaho_ ,” the empress said with a voice that sounded like she was smiling, but then she turned serious: “ _How is Vice-Admiral Häkkinen doing? I heard he has been hospitalized for at least a week._ ”

“When we found him, he was in great emotional shock and had severe bleeding. His wounds are deep and have been infected, but that is all I know,” the brunet answered.

“ _He was taken off the breeding program, I heard? The UE officials were quite nervous when I demanded to see their records of the prisoner I entrusted to them_.”

“That is correct. He is not allowed near the prisoner anymore; Slaine rejected him harshly, nearly killing him in the process.”

The phone went silent for a short while, but Inaho waited patiently. There were probably lots of thoughts running in the empress’s mind about the blond as well, which also required her to take the time she needed to collect them before she could speak. In the meantime, the brunet was waiting with anxiousness growing and growing, threatening to consume him. His instincts to mate began to wake up as he thought the frightening thought of losing Slaine now that he was right before his eyes. It was like his body was trying to tell him he should claim the omega before his fated mate got away.

‘ _Will he be happy with her?_ ’ he wondered.

Seylum was all Slaine had had as motivation and family for a long time according to the tales the empress had told the brunet, and Inaho had to admit – despite it breaking his heart – that perhaps Slaine would have a better future with the empress. She could give him a proper home while all Inaho had to offer was this desolate old building made into a prison, standing in the suburb of the capital Bern in Switzerland – which was also his and Yuki’s new home after the war had ended; it was close to the current UE headquarters in Geneva after the Russian headquarters had been destroyed during the war.

Even if he selfishly wanted to force himself on the blond young man now that he was fearful of losing him to the empress, he had to come to the conclusion Slaine would probably be better off with her. If the omega decided to go with the mate he had longed for, for a long time, then he should be allowed to go.

‘ _I can’t keep him here; I can’t make him happy if he wants to go…_ ’ he painfully thought.

Slaine’s happiness weighed more than Inaho’s instincts, and he would sacrifice his future with the blond if that was required to give the prisoner a worthy life.

“ _Inaho…_ ” the empress suddenly said after a long pause, waking him up from his grim thoughts. Her voice was trembling. “ _Have we done the right thing? The prison was supposed to guard him from harming himself and from the fury of our angry worlds. Now it has turned into a torture chamber._ ”

Inaho frowned. He was not used to guilt, and – right now – the guilt of what he had let happen was eating away at him.

“I’m sorry, Seylum,” he said into the phone. “I have failed you and him. I should have contacted you sooner.”

“ _What UE decided to do with him is not your fault; you are a subordinate, Inaho; you have to follow their orders. I am sure you did what you could with the little power you have_ ,” she said, assuring him she was not blaming him for what had happened to Slaine.

‘ _But I didn’t…_ ’ the brunet thought with his frown deepening. He had not been able to protect Slaine from Häkkinen because he had been too occupied with Slaine being his fated mate; he had wanted to wait for Slaine to decide being with him instead of sending him away so he could take the blond as his mate; he had not thought of what would have been the best for Slaine at all. If he had, he would have contacted Seylum weeks ago. ‘ _All I cared about was to be allowed close to him, and with that I have committed the worst crime in my life…_ ’

He had been blinded by fear of not being allowed inside the building again, that he had passively accepted the torture Slaine had gone through no matter how honorable his tries to stop it had been. He had had tunnel vision when looking at the prisoner, not caring about him enough to let Seylum save him sooner, all because he had not wanted to sacrifice his chance to become his mate by being fired from the work he did in this prison. How could he face Slaine with this truth blackening his heart? He had severed their relationship by not doing enough to save the helpless omega from a greedy alpha’s claws, which had resulted in Slaine being cruelly raped and ended with him losing a child.

Inaho pulled the phone away from his lips to take a deep but quiet breath; he felt like blowing apart from realizing all this.

‘ _I’ve never been good with passionate emotions like this, and because of that I have hurt Slaine in the worst way possible for a mate_. _He was helpless; he could not fight back and all I did was to try persuading my superiors to stop tormenting him so I could have him instead…_ ’

“ _Let’s do what we can for him, Inaho_ ,” the empress said after the brunet pressed the phone against his ear again. “ _Take care of him until I arrive._ ”

“I shall,” the young alpha answered and listened to the empress hang up.

An urgent need to see the blond young man came over. He wanted to be with him for as long as possible to enjoy whatever little he could. All he wanted was to be with his fated mate until Seylum arrived, to see him, hear him, sense him… Breathe him… Even just a little…

‘ _I’m sorry, Slaine…_ ’ he thought and felt his heart squeeze from horrible emotions. He dropped the phone that clattered to the floor, and he leaned against the warden’s desk as his knees were about to give way. ‘ _What do I do?_ ’ he thought as he countered these strong kinds of feelings for the first time in his life. ‘ _I don’t know what to do with these emotions._ ’

They were larger than his body.

αβΩ

“ _Jake. There’s a boat. Jake_ ,” she cried on the screen as the movie was slowly coming to its end.

The character Rosalie heard a strange sound she knew was the voice of her saviors, and saw a light sweep over the dark sea where bodies of her fellow passengers floated. Alarmed to miss the rowing heroes searching for survivors, she shook her fated mate’s hand and repeated his name, desperately trying to wake him up before the passing heroes would disappear. Her relieved expression changed to a sudden realization, but she could not believe it as she tried to shake the young alpha back to life.

“ _Jake… Jake. Jake!_ ” she cried wish a voice harmed from the cold and shook him once more, but he gave her no answers. Grief emerged on her pale face as the death of her fated mate began to settle down, but even then she could not stop wishing for hope: “ _There’s a boat, Jake! Jake!_ ”

Her saviors were rowing away, slowly moving through the masses of deceased people floating in their lifejackets that were still serving their purpose of keeping their bodies afloat.

“ _Come back…! Come back!_ ” the character Rosalie tried to yell to the small boat with a broken voice while holding onto her lover’s hand in the icy sea, her breaths pouring out of her like ghosts into the cold night.

She looked down at her lover floating next to the massive wooden door – carrying her on its carvings made with luxurious intricacy. While watching him with urgency to call for the boat rowing past her, further and further away while the search lights flickered over the masses of dead people, she then took a difficult decision as she knew this was her only chance to be rescued. Forcing her hand from her frozen fated mate’s fingers with a tug, she decided to send him to his grave beneath the nocturnal sea that had earlier swallowed hundreds of lives along with the mightiest ocean liner for their time. As the young alpha began to sink, the beautiful omega said weakly:

“ _I’ll never let go. I promise_.”

Lifting her fated mate’s hand to her lip to kiss the lifeless knuckles before he disappeared beneath the surface – giving him the last kiss she would ever give him – she sealed her promise to him to let her life be everything she wished it to be henceforth, that she would never stop surviving no matter what happened, no matter how hopeless. She would always survive with the memory of her fated mate who would forever own four short days of her life.

A snivel was heard from Yuki’s armchair, and Slaine threw a discreet glance at her. She was sitting there with hands clutching the armrests of the chair and tears streaming down her contorted face, bravely trying to keep her tears a secret. While looking at her, he thought of it as strange how a movie could affect someone so, and a soldier at that. The little he knew about Yuki was that she was a very strict and willful being in the way only a soldier could be. Rather than feeling anything for the characters’ misery in the movie like her, he felt empathy with the woman sitting next to his couch with silent tears on her courageous face.

It was a long time ago that he had felt empathy with someone like this – or at least he thought it had been a long time. Throughout his life, he had been an insecure little boy who had survived by fearing other’s angry emotions due to his emphatic nature; when people had been angry, the young Slaine had not known what to do with them as he had feared them more than anything. Anger had been such a horribly large emotion for him back then before he became Count Saazbaum Troyard. Instead, he had always tried to prevent making people angry by letting them know he could understand them in one way or another due to his ability to tune in on their feelings and work with them.

Lemrina was the last person he had empathized with after about two years of emotional lockdown during his time as a vassal of Saazbaum and a count. After that – after being put in this prison – he had been too busy surviving in this prison to be able to tune in on other’s emotions. Now, however, he could do that with Yuki; she did not seem as threatening as she usually did despite her being an alpha.

‘ _I haven’t felt like this for a long time…_ ’ he thought and turned his eyes to the movie screen where Rosalie was looking up at the Statue of Liberty that was now – over hundred years later – resting on the bottom of New York Harbor after a devastating blow from a Landing Castle during the second interplanetary war. ‘ _How long can you stay silent and pretend like nothing?_ ’ he thought and turned to look at Yuki again who was busy with crying as silently and discreetly as possible.

Once the end credits began to roll, Yuki threw a glance at the blond and noticed he was looking at her. With a heavy blush of embarrassment, she turned her face away from him and tried to wipe her tears and snot away on her sleeve, and Slaine felt his lips curve into a small smile.

“You can just ask for a tissue, you know?” he said and pushed his tired body up from the couch to grab the tissue box from the table and hand it to her.

With a brusque motion, she snatched the entire box and pulled several tissues out of it to blow her nose and dry her tears.

“T-thanks,” she mumbled after calming down somewhat, and Slaine let his body fall back down onto the couch. “I had no idea this movie would be this touching,” she then said and sniveled.

“It’s a movie about love during a catastrophe. What did you expect?” the blond asked with a mutter, but this time he felt less agitated and feisty; he grumbled because he attempted to tease her.

“But who would have thought the director decided to separate the fated mates before they even got to bond? That’s such a tear-jerking move!” she cried out in a whimper.

“It was better that way,” Slaine said quietly and felt his heart sting from thinking about what he should do with _his_ fated mate. “If they would have bonded, she might have decided to stay by his side in the sea instead of getting rescued, or then died from a broken heart. Then she would have died as well instead of living her life to the fullest with the little she had and honor the memory of her fated mate.”

“That’s true, but still!” the woman exclaimed. “She was an omega who was forced to be with someone she didn’t want, and when she met her fated mate he was ripped from her arms. He could have given her so much more in life, like the wonders of making babies with her fated mate instead of someone else she was forced to take when she got home, and they would have even-”

She came to a sudden stop and stared at the television with a distant look in her eyes. She was thinking about something in an erratic manner; it showed in the expression on her face, like she was trying to grab something that threatened to slip from between her fingers like sand. Then, she frowned deeply and took the deepest breath yet, slumped against the armchair and got a mature but troubled look on her face like she had accepted something.

Confused, Slaine stared at her for a moment but then figured she had decided to go quiet, and he buried his face against the pillow and pulled the duvet higher up over his shoulders to try taking a nap. He did not get far on his journey into the land of dreams, however, as he was interrupted by Yuki’s quiet voice:

“You know, Nao never wanted to fight for the military when he was younger.” Slaine frowned and looked up at her, not understanding what she was going for. “He believed it had nothing to do with him, that we grownups should have fought for our children as we were the ones who had messed up their world. He was completely right about that, and I really tried to keep him out of it as I as a sister and stand-in mother really worry about him.” She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. “When the war broke out, he observed his friend being killed by the Martian kataphrakt that attacked our city, Shinawara, and that was when he decided the grownups couldn’t fix anything. I nearly got a heart attack from seeing him become such a determined fighter, because I feared I would lose him.”

‘ _A friend of his was killed by Trillram? Why are you telling me this?_ ’ Slaine wondered confused.

“I really feel sorry for Nao,” she continued, and the blond listened patiently. “He doesn’t want to become a leader or anything like that, he just wanted to have an academic career and become a professor or something. Because of the war, he gave that dream up. Being a military man has never suited him, and it’s not making him happy. Despite that, he obeys because he thinks he has to in order to set the world at least a little bit right, thinking he has to do something as he cannot sit and do nothing while there’s misery in the world. In truth, I believe that – behind all that – he’s fed up with the UFE and UE.”

‘Cannot sit and do nothing while there’s misery in the world.’ Inaho had said similar words last night. It sounded like something a noble person would think and say – someone different from Slaine who has not given a second thought about nameless people in misery. All the blond had been busy worrying about was himself ever since childhood, and he had somehow managed to fit another person into all that worrying; Asseylum. Inaho seemed to be a kinder person. He seemed to have something grander to believe in than the pathetic former Orbital Knight has ever had – which shed new light onto the mystery surrounding the brunet. Somehow, Slaine found that he respected him from this knowledge alone.

‘ _She really cares about him…_ ’ the prisoner then thought and sighed, letting his body relax against the couch. Then he mumbled:

“I think you should let him know that you worry.”

“I have, but he won’t listen. Besides, if I try to persuade him doing what he wants, his entire life will be over. You saw what happened to Jake. Nao’s not allowed to do what he wants, and I’m afraid he’ll go through same hardships like Jake if he stops working in UFE. The world is cruel to alphas like that.”

The blond began to realize why she had argued with him so harshly a while back about leaving Inaho alone. Yuki was terrified of losing her brother, just like Slaine had been terrified of losing Asseylum. The difference was that she was more passive than the blond had been when he had searched for the former princess at the beginning of the war; Yuki showed faith in her brother but had a need of control as well; she worried so much she could not keep her hands away from her brother’s business.

‘ _Because Inaho is much more stubborn than her?_ ’ Slaine wondered, thinking Yuki’s fears were based on the sole reason Inaho would not let her be the grownup in their relationship; to be the one to give the good advice and show how life worked. ‘ _Has Inaho decided not to listen to her?_ ’

“I think you should give him more credit than you do; he seems like he’s stronger than you,” the blond decided to say and expected her to verbally attack him for saying an honest truth but in a way too blunt way to not take it as an insult.

She ended up surprising him, though, with her thinking silently for a couple of seconds and then answering:

“You know what? I think you’re right. I’m a worry wart.” Slaine raised his eyebrows in surprise and stared at her in disbelief as she continued: “Listen, I know I’ve been a douche and all, but I’m really scared for him to mess up his life.”

“Mess it up because of me?” the omega asked and narrowed his eyes.

“I know it might sound harsh, but yes,” Yuki answered and released an apologetic sigh. “He has never made decisions that have _felt_ good to make; he has always made decisions on well-thought calculations. I have even tried to teach him this thing about trusting one’s gut feeling and all. Now, however, he is making a decision based on emotions and feelings; he’s not good at that, and I fear he isn’t thinking straight because you’re fated mates.”

Slaine could sympathize with that as he was not thinking straight at all. He tried – he really did – but whenever Inaho was close by his reason deteriorated and fell to splinters to the floor. Only later – when the brunet’s presence had disappeared – did he realize what a failure his resistance had been as he stepped onto these sharp splinters and was reminded that he had a reason to resist him to begin with.

“But…” Yuki then said after a short pause. She lowered her gaze into her lap where she played with her fingers, and then said quietly: “I think bonding with you would make him happy – even if it’ll cause him lifelong difficulties, too. It’s my job as a relative to be there for him if he slips, right?” She raised her gaze to look at the dumbfounded prisoner staring at her with wide eyes, and then said with a slight smile: “To think I had to watch a silly movie about two fated mates, who didn’t get to bond because of unfair rules of society, in order to understand this.”

So that was what she had been thinking about before she had begun to talk about her brother. Why on earth would she give her brother consent in bonding with someone like Slaine? The blond was sure he would not make Inaho happy; he was locked up in a basement for probably the rest of his life. It was impossible. Despite knowing this, the female alpha said those grand words.

“That is … really big of you,” Slaine said quietly with a breath.

Yuki grunted and scratcher her scalp before sighing, and said:

“So, what will you do? The empress will come tomorrow.”

Slaine curled up on the couch and hugged his body tight with his arms. He looked at the knees as they were pulled up, and thought for a short moment. What would he do? He had still not come to a conclusion. It was too sudden; he would never be able to make a decision like this. Did it even matter what he wanted?

“My father…” he decided to say quietly as he searched for an answer. “I talked to the psychologist about it a little, and he helped me realize my father never really taught me that I have a meaning.” Yuki looked up at him, surprised that he had decided to share something personal with her. “I love him dearly as I know he tried his best, even if it wasn’t enough. He was ill, you see. I never really understood what was wrong with him, but I guess he was depressed because he isolated himself in his work and rarely smiled genuinely. Children are sensitive to that, you know? I was very alone as a child, and no one really saw me or gave me value. It ended with me thinking very little of myself and a lot of others; I badly wanted someone to see me so I tried to be friends with everyone by catering to their needs,” he said quietly and made a pause, before gathering his courage to continue: “Until she came into my life.”

“Asseylum?” Yuki asked, and Slaine nodded without looking up at her.

“She saved me when I was about to die when I crash-landed into the royal palace on Vers after my father sent me there from Earth, becoming my guardian angel from the very start,” he explained. “She was the first one to ever look at me and see me, and her kindness gave me a meaning; I found my meaning in her.”

“So you want to go with her?” Yuki asked, and Slaine shook his head with a weak and sorrowful smile.

“I think I grew up a little in this prison. I don’t know what I should do, but I’m hesitating when thinking about her; probably because I fear her more than anything,” he answered and sighed. “I’ve never been good at handling anger in others. I can’t seem to know what to do with it as it scares me, and always has. Before, when someone was angry at me – and they were that a lot, especially in Vers – I tried to soothe them by obeying them so they would stop being angry. As that didn’t help, I finally began to shut down when dealing with angry people. Then, after a while of apathy, I became aggressive instead. I really couldn’t handle it in the end.”

“Is this why you’ve been obstinate and fought a lot in here?” Yuki asked, and Slaine nodded.

“I guess. I’ve been met with contempt and anger, frustration and a lot of unfairness. I went mad because I was never given a break from other people’s loathing for what I’ve done,” the blond explained and sighed. “I cannot decide on what to do tomorrow as I fear the empress. I also fear the bond, and I fear the vice admiral…” A horrible feeling stabbed him as he thought of the old man he had beaten yesterday. “How can I choose any of the options when I fear them all?” he whispered.

The woman looked at him, but Slaine merely observed her from the corner of his eye as he was too ashamed to look up at her.

“I think Nao fears your decision, too. He wants you more than anything,” she said after a pause, and Slaine sighed and slumped against the backrest of the couch and hid his face against the now slightly trembling knees.

“He has horrible taste. I’m used commodity; I’ve been used like a dick sleeve at least a thousand times. My body is defiled by countless of strangers,” he mumbled and felt tears in his eyes. “He really deserves better.”

“There you go again, thinking very little about yourself,” Yuki sighed and cleared her throat. “Nao doesn’t care, you know?”

“But I do,” the blond answered with a slightly raised voice. “I hate my body. I hate it as it is the body of an omega, and it has been used like one as well; of course I can’t think more of myself than I do.”

“Hating your body because of what others has done to you isn’t fair against yourself, is it?” Yuki asked, and Slaine shook his head.

“You don’t understand,” he said and felt tears roll down his cheeks. He took a deep breath before he continued:

αβΩ

“Imagine you’re wearing a jacket that’s worn and dirty. It does its job of keeping you warm and all, but it looks and feels like it hasn’t been washed for many years,” he heard the blond young man’s voice the moment he opened the door into the corridor that would lead him up to the TV room. Inaho halted and listened as he heard Slaine speak, feeling intrigued to hear what he had to say: “You want to remove it so you can wash it, but you can’t no matter how you try. How would you feel if you were stuck in such a jacket, with all the dirt and wear?”

“I would feel disgusting and not want to show myself to others…” his sister answered somewhat hesitantly, and the blond continued:

“That is how my body feels like. Compared to a jacket, I can’t undress myself from this body of mine. It breathes for me, it thinks for me, it functions like it should for me, but…” Slaine’s voice drifted away for a while. Inaho held his breath with sharpened hearing for what the other would say after the pause, and Yuki seemed to respect the silence as well. After a couple of heartbeats, Slaine continued: “It feels disgusting. All the marks and worn out patches left by others are there to remind me how much it has been used without my consent.”

Yuki stayed silent. If Inaho knew her right, she was probably left speechless from a truth like Slaine’s. Even though they had lived a difficult life ever since the first war had begun, they had still lived somewhat protected from the world omegas lived in because they were alphas; they had different concerns than omegas. Whether or not they were fully aware of the differences, both Inaho and Yuki knew they as alphas lived a world apart from omegas.

“Sometimes I just want to throw it away as I cannot relate to it when I’m reminded about me having a body like this,” Slaine said barely audibly where Inaho stood and listened. “It’s so alien to me at times that it doesn’t feel real while looking at it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” Yuki said gently after Slaine’s last words. “That sounds horrible, to never be at peace in your own body. Is this why you’ve been able to be so brave after all that’s been done to you since the truth about you being an omega came to light?”

“Brave?” Slaine asked with a voice that sounded like he was sneering at her. “I was terrified each time.”

“I’m sorry,” his sister hurried to say. “Of course you were. I phrased it badly.”

Inaho decided he had to cut in now or else Yuki would drive herself into a corner by clumsily trying to patch up her mistake. They had to be careful with the blond young man as Slaine was as unpredictable as lightning. One moment he could be manageable, but the next – if agitated or insulted – he could quickly lose trust in people and shut himself in and reject everyone. Inaho could not afford that now, and even though he knew Yuki had made an honest mistake it might not be perceived like that by Slaine.

He walked up to the door and surprised them both. Yuki looked up at him with relief while Slaine’s expression turned somewhat nervous. The blond curled up some more in his already curled up position, and then cowered when Inaho stepped inside the small TV room.

“I’m sorry if I interrupt something,” he said and threw a slight nod to Yuki when Slaine looked away to hide his face against his knees. “Was the movie to your liking?”

Yuki seemed taken aback by his sudden question but nodded.

“Oh, y-yes it was. I cried like a baby to the ending,” she said and smiled wryly. “It’s so embarrassing that I did it in front of Slaine here,” she then chuckled, nodding toward the blond in the opposite corner of the couch. “He had a heart of steel through it all; the ending was really sad but he didn’t even frown.”

“I see,” the brunet answered and watched his sister get up from the armchair, obeying his silent request to leave him and Slaine alone in the room.

“I should get something to eat, and I need some coffee,” Yuki said and walked up to the door. “Would you two like something from the kitchen?”

“No, I’m fine,” Inaho answered and looked at Slaine. The blond was silent and seemed stiff about the brunet being there. “Have you eaten something?” he asked the other, who shook his head. “Would you like something to eat or drink?” The blond shook his head again. “I see you later,” the brunet then said to his sister, who nodded and threw a last glance on the cowering prisoner before leaving.

Inaho sat down onto the armchair and turned the player off and instead turned on a nature channel. Television channels had just started their broadcasts a couple of months ago, a new channel appearing every month to get back as much of the usual life people recognized as possible. Silence would probably be too awkward for the blond and it was nice to have some company by the voice and sounds on the television. He had used to do this before the war, turning the television on during the mornings while preparing breakfast for him and his sister.

“I spoke to Seylum,” Inaho said after a short while. A commercial was broadcasted at the moment about the different programs the channel had to offer and at what time they would be broadcasted. “She will be here tomorrow around three o’clock. I thought you wanted to know so you can be prepared.”

Slaine did not answer and instead lay down onto the couch and curled up beneath the blanket. They watched a program about seals in northern Iceland – nothing too interesting but comfortable to watch nonetheless as it required no significant focus from the viewer. Slaine seemed to relax; Inaho saw this as he threw careful glances at him at times while the narrator on the television spoke ceaselessly about seals. He suspected, though, that Slaine noticed him as he had to turn his head to be able to see him to his left. The armchair was in a bad position where it stood to the right of the couch, as he had no left eye.

With the glances that Slaine seemed not to care about, he saw that the blond began to look sleepy and seemed to be comfortably snuggled up in the blanket that was tightly wrapped around him.

‘ _Good_ ,’ Inaho thought and took a deep breath and relaxed against the armchair, and looked back at the television where a killer whale family was hunting for seals.

Suddenly – right after he had exhaled the deep breath – Slaine said, as if spurred by the Inaho’s silent noise:

“Unlike what this program is trying to show, orcas are really gentle creatures.”

Baffled, Inaho turned his attention to the blond and watched him, surprised by his sudden words. Had the other perhaps invited him in for a conversation?

“Is that so?” Inaho asked to stimulate the other into a chatty mood. “I know very little about animals.”

“My dad and I traveled around a lot,” the blond said and kept watching the television with heavy eyelids threatening to fall over his eyes. “I met a lot of interesting people, and I was a curious child.”

“Did you meet someone who told you about whales, considering you know about orcas?” the brunet asked, and Slaine nodded.

“She was amazing and told me so much I forgot more than half of what she said,” Slaine mumbled and yawned. “But what stuck with me were three main things: Orcas are self-aware and very social; probably even more emotionally developed than we humans are. They live in families in a matriarchal system, with their own dialect or language. And usually they sleep next to each other, skin to skin, right beneath the surface.”

Inaho knew from what Seylum had said that the blond young man was decently knowledgeable about ecosystems and animals. Of course, he had his flaws as well, like the refraction of light making the sky blue, but Inaho was confident the blond was well educated nonetheless.

“So they are autonomous creatures with integrity?” the brunet asked to keep their dialogue going.

“That, and they are very emotional,” the blond mumbled. “They are so emotionally developed they can even decide to commit suicide out of grief by closing their blowhole and sink to the bottom, or fall into a serious depression from for example losing a family member. Dolphins are apparently similar.”

“I didn’t know that,” Inaho answered, honestly surprised. “Do you like animals?”

“I don’t know,” Slaine said and yawned again; he looked sleepier now than seconds before. “I haven’t had any real contact with animals. I just think they’re interesting because they are purer than us humans.”

“Would you like to have an animal as company?” the brunet wondered, and the blond turned to look at him with a frown.

“And condemn them into captivity?” he asked and scoffed.

“We have a back yard,” the brunet pointed out, piquing Slaine’s interest a little; he looked more awake from hearing that. “Cats can come and go as they please.”

Slaine was quick to counter:

“So can I, if you decide to let me close to the door.”

“Where would you go?” Inaho countered, and Slaine turned his face back against the television. As he understood the blond had decided to shut him out of the conversation and protest in silence, the young brunet continued carefully: “Have you thought about what we spoke about last night?” Again, Slaine stayed silent. “Seylum said she will ask you to go with her to Vers, even if it’s dangerous.”

Slaine continued staying silent for a while, and Inaho decided not to bother him as he was probably trying to figure out what he should think and feel about the matter. The brunet knew what he himself felt, though; he was sad, jealous, frustrated and preparing to lose someone he did not want to lose. It was painful, but he owed Slaine to bear it. If his fated mate decided to go with the empress, then Inaho would handle the grief and accept his loss without arguing. … no matter how much it hurt…

“If the people learn about me being there, they might storm my prison and kill me off,” the blond whispered after a while with concern. “That’s why she left me in your care on Earth, right?”

The brunet – relieved to be distracted from his painful thoughts for a little while – nodded, answering:

“That is correct. It’s easier to hide people here as we have much more space than Vers will ever have.”

The blond prisoner went silent again and Inaho accepted this as new thoughts probably began unraveling in the other’s mind. To sort them required time, and Slaine seemed to somewhat restlessly let himself have the time he needed to come to some kind of conclusion. It must have been a difficult process, though, as time went on and the show on the television changed into a documentary about the recovering rainforest in South America.

Then, finally, the exhausted young man looked up at the brunet, and said:

“If you would touch me, how would you do it?”

Inaho could not help but to look at the blond, turning his head enough to see him properly. It was a strange question, and the brunet wondered what the other intended with it.

“Why would you like to know that?” he asked, and Slaine took a deep breath and said:

“What if I told you I won’t resist you no matter what you do,” he said, and Inaho’s heart began instantly racing. “Right here and now, you’re allowed to touch me just the way you want to.”

Something was up. Inaho had a feeling this was a trap of some sort, just like yesterday. Slaine would not let him touch him just like that; he knew the blond feared the brunet’s teeth on his neck – since that was, in all honesty, the first thing that popped up into Inaho’s mind. He knew if he tried to do anything that threatened Slaine’s autonomy and integrity, Slaine would never forgive him.

‘ _What are you up to?_ ’ he wondered and eyed him carefully.

“You want me to touch you?” he decided to ask, to understand what the other was asking of him.

“Yes,” Slaine pushed. “Touch me the way you want to touch me.”

Inaho wondered if he was asking this of him because he wanted to know if Inaho was sincere of caring about him as more than just a convenient object to satisfy his lust. In other words, he should not kiss him, push his hands beneath the clothes to intimate parts, nor should he bite him or remind him of being an omega.

‘ _You want to know if I’ll treat you as a lover?_ ’ he wondered and decided to comply with Slaine’s request.

When he pushed himself up from the armchair he noticed Slaine observed him with great care; the blond was highly suspicious and seemed nervous about the young alpha moving closer, but Inaho did not hesitate as he knew Slaine would not forgive him if he did something – anything – wrong. That included not hesitating, because if he did he would show the blond he was insincere about wanting him as a life partner.

The blond pulled his feet away as Inaho sat down onto the other end of the couch and eyed him sharply, almost threatening the brunet with the mere glare he threw at him. Inaho, however, looked at him meaningfully – letting the blond know he was simply answering to his request – and then reached his hand beneath the blanket. Carefully, he wrapped his fingers around the other’s wool-covered ankles and pulled his feet out from beneath the blanket and placed them in his lap. Gently, he then removed the wool socks and pulled the end of the blanket over his lap to hide the blond’s bare feet from the cold, turned his gaze back to the television and began rubbing the pearly white skin with gentle but strong hands.

He could not see the other’s expression to his left, but he could sense the confusion in the air and feel Slaine’s eyes stare at him.

“Relax,” the brunet said after a short while as he noticed Slaine was tensing up his feet. “I won’t hurt you, so just relax.”

“This is what you decided to do?” the other asked nearly spitefully. “You could have fucked me or bitten me, but this is what you decided to do in the end?”

“If I would have forced myself on you in any way, I would have proven I’m only interested in your body, right?” Inaho pointed out and heard the silence from the other. “I have told you before that I want your happiness, and I told you last night that I want to take care of you and protect you.”

“You claim it’s love?” the blond spat.

“What else can it be?” the brunet asked.

Slaine scoffed and hissed:

“Because I’m your fated mate; you want me because I’m an omega; you think I’m _your_ omega.”

“I believe we settled this last night,” the brunet continued, feeling somewhat frustrated they were back in yesterday’s quarrel.

“Of course we didn’t,” was the argument he got. “What else can there be than me being your fated mate?”

This time, Inaho was suddenly struck by horrible exhaustion from falling back into this conversation. He understood Slaine could not let this go as he had feared an alpha’s bite for many years, and he could also understand the blond wanted the bond to be with someone special. If the situation had been different he would respect and accept that, but it was awfully naïve of Slaine to think principles like that were the only thing that mattered in a situation like this.

“Had I merely wanted you because you’re my fated mate, don’t you think I would have forced my bite on you a long time ago?” Inaho asked with a slightly louder tone and turned his head to strictly look at the other, who looked baffled from hearing the calm brunet raise his voice. “Had I thought that little of you, I wouldn’t have fought against my instincts the way I have for several weeks now, and if I have to I will continue all because I care about you. Have you any idea how much that has crippled me and even hurt me thus far?”

Slaine stared at him with shock from hearing the brunet speak this plainly. Perhaps he should have done this earlier as the blond had not seemed to have understood how sincere Inaho had actually been about caring about him. It hurt to have his efforts and feelings belittled, like they had no value or meaning at all, and now he was tired of the abuse.

Inaho turned his gaze back toward the television now that he had gotten this out of his system, and continued with his usual tone of voice:

“You say you love your former princess. Can you define why your love her?”

Slaine watched him for a while and Inaho waited while he continued rubbing the other’s feet. After a while, though, the blond decided to answer:

“Because she’s kind.”

“Because everyone else has been unkind to you?” Inaho asked and listened to the awkward silence in the room, telling him he had hit a mark. “What else?”

“… Because she cares about me,” the pitiful blond answered with a voice which told Inaho he was hesitating to answer.

“Because no one else has?” the brunet asked, and Slaine went silent again. “What else?”

“She … saved me…”

“So you owe her your life?” This time, when Inaho turned to look at the other, Slaine wore deep sadness on his countenance. Tears were close to flowing down his somewhat blushing cheeks and nose – crimson probably because he knew Inaho had proven his love to Seylum was based on something else than the love he claimed Inaho lacked for him. “What else?” Inaho asked and waited in silence for a while, but the blond young man did not give him a reply. “What is love to you, Slaine? Can you answer me that?” he tried, but the young man kept silent, admitting his defeat. “If you can’t tell me what love is, then you should never claim that what I feel for you isn’t love. My sis told me once that loving someone without knowing why is the purest form of love, because you don’t expect anything from the other in terms of entertainment or attention.” Slaine was closer to tears for each word the brunet spoke, and what opened the floodgates was what the brunet told him next: “I don’t know why I want to give you my care, efforts, feelings, time, body, or even my soul. I just know they belong with you. I don’t want to own you. I don’t want to imprison you in our bond and I don’t want you to entertain me with your words or body as I’m not that bored in my life. I simply want you to be happy. If I’ll have to see you go with your former princess, then I will let you if that’ll make you happy. If these are not sincere feelings, then I don’t know what is.”

Slaine sniveled and hid his face against the pillow while he let Inaho continue rubbing his feet warm. The blond’s shoulders shook as he cried and pathetic sobs escaped him now and then. The young alpha’s words seemed to have hit him hard, which made Inaho feel like he had done something wrong, but he could also rationalize and understand that this was probably what Slaine had to hear for him to stop bickering about love and instincts.

“You don’t even know me,” the blond whimpered from behind a tear-stained sleeve.

“Because you won’t let me,” the brunet answered bluntly. “I don’t need to admire you to love you, Slaine. That’s why I don’t think it matters right now if I know you or not; my feelings won’t change.”

“So you don’t care to get to know me? I’m supposed to be your fated mate,” the blond asked, suddenly agitated. He sat up and pulled his feet away from the brunet’s lap and glared at him with tears streaming down his cheeks. “You don’t want to know what kind of person you’ll bond with?!” he continued angrily.

“Of course I do,” Inaho answered frankly. “But we don’t have the time for that right now. The empress will come tomorrow. If you decide to stay here on Earth, then the vice admiral will be back to punish you within days.”

“Unless I bond with you?” the blond asked, and Inaho nodded, confirming:

“Unless you bond with me.” The brunet turned his gaze down into his empty lap and continued: “I have told you this before, but I don’t think I can ever tell it enough: I’m sorry I can’t give you other options.”

The narrator on the screen continued telling the viewers about the rainforest’s growth and moved on to tell about the different animal populations that were slowly increasing again. On the couch, the blond continued crying in silence and the brunet stared at his lap without seeing it, with a mind as blank as plain paper. Time felt like it was standing still, and had it not been for the show in the background Inaho would have completely lost how long they had dwelled in emotional misery.

The narrator had just finished explaining the daily life of a small monkey species in the jungle when he felt something move beneath the duvet. Then, the duvet rose up as Slaine slipped his feet back into Inaho’s lap. The brunet turned to look at him and saw his swollen and irritated eyes stare strictly at the television while he lay down into a comfortable position again.

‘ _You admit your defeat?_ ’ Inaho wondered.

Without uttering another word, the brunet buried his hands beneath the duvet again and rubbed the blond young man’s feet warm once more while they continued watching documentaries for a couple of hours in complete silence until Slaine fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to establish stuff first before the moment you've all been waiting for comes. Hold out until chapter 17.  
> Also, I was re-watching Titanic from 1997 (for the 1000th time) before writing this chapter a couple of weeks ago, and found that it was quite fitting for this story when making it into an omegaverse story, too. Especially with the quote by Rose's (Rosalie's) mother about choices never being easy because they're women (omegas).
> 
> Also: Happy Easter everyone! *tweet tweet* :3


	16. The Empress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Wednesday updates! *looks at the clock that shows 21:45* I made it before midnight! Yaay! (^0^)

A decision was never made before the empress arrived. No matter how many times he waged his options, he was still too afraid to come to a decision. It was too hard. Too frightening. In a frantic attempt to escape the threatening conclusion he was forced to make a little too soon, he worked contra productively by clinging to the shelter of procrastination – despite knowing it would make none of his problems easier. He was just – simply put – unable to make a decision, and secretly wished for someone else to make the decision for him. And even then, he did not trust them to make the right decision.

How cowardly of him – to rely on someone else’s wisdom and reject it at the same time. He was supposed to be able to survive on his own. Or so he wanted to believe at least, as he had survived on his own ever since his father became obsessed with Aldnoah. Somehow – lately – it had become more and more difficult to survive like this.

To put one’s faith in others was nothing he wanted to do, because he could not trust them to handle the responsibility well. At least, when he helped himself, he had the control and responsibility in his own hands. That way, there would be no need to feel hurt or disappointed in someone else and risk a conflict, and there would not be a reason for him to thank someone for trying.

But… Now … all he could do was to rely on others. Either Asseylum or Inaho.

‘ _Have I not relied on her enough?’_ he thought as he stood in the bathroom with trembling knees, leaning over the sink in case he would vomit from fear of seeing the empress within a couple of minutes. He had taken a shower moments earlier; his hair was still wet, and he had just finished brushing his teeth.

In a way, he knew what he had to do. What felt the most right was to be with Inaho; his fated mate. After their argument yesterday, he had realized he had been unfair to the brunet by accusing him of following instincts to bond with him rather than loving him. What Inaho had said yesterday had been eye-opening; Slaine had been forced to admit he had been the one in the wrong and that perhaps what the other felt was love – or at least the early stages of it due to the brunet’s considerate actions the past weeks.

They had not spoken about their argument ever since Slaine had admitted his fault and allowed Inaho to touch him by massaging and stroking his feet to keep them warm. Both of them had been aware they could not go back from their first kiss; they could only go forward now and deep down – somewhere very deep, where his reason could not reach – he knew his place was to move forward with his former enemy.

‘ _Then, can I rely on him?_ ’ he thought and spit into the sink as he felt so nauseous his mouth was overflowing with saliva.

His arms shook and he was slowly being soaked with cold sweat. This was ridiculous; he felt like he was a patient dying from a deadly disease who was asked by a doctor to decide what kind of life-prolonging medicine he wanted; how could he know what medicine to choose when he was not a doctor? Of course, bonding with someone was not as dramatic as the question of life and death, but it was just as important as it touched the subject of quality of life; if he was to live, he wanted to live a life that was worth living. He had been given the chance to decide how his fate – his quality of life – would look like, but he feared the wrong decision so much that he could not decide at all.

How could anyone make a decision like that?, he wondered. Like a dying patient trying to consider the pros and cons of different life-prolonging medications, which could not guarantee anything, he was just as torn. Even if he felt like he belonged with Inaho, he still feared it would turn out to be the wrong decision, and if the decision of bonding with the other was wrong, he would not be able to correct it later as he would be forever bonded with the young man.

But they were fated mates; he had to remember that. Perhaps it would turn out all right after all? Even if putting his life in others’ hands was terrifying, would his fated mate’s hands not be better than someone else’s?

‘ _But … can I destroy his life by allowing him to become my mate?_ ’

Blame and guilt. Again, he fell victim to these all too familiar emotions. If he stayed to bond with Inaho, Yuki would be devastated; she wished for her brother to get a proper mate that could make him happy and give him children. If he bonded with Slaine, he would probably never be happy. He would not be able to show his mate to others, nor would he be able to ask people to visit and come for dinner. He could not attend parties with his mate, and he could not even talk about his mate. … He had to pretend like he had none.

‘ _Because I’m a war criminal_ …’

How could anyone be happy with Slaine? He could only suck others dry from happiness like a damned vampire and not give anything back because of his problems and past. Yuki’s anger toward Slaine had been based on fear of losing her brother to a vampire, but somehow she had decided to give in after yesterday’s movie.

Why would she trust someone like him with her brother’s happiness?

‘ _I can’t do that to him or her_ ,’ he told himself silently and spit into the sink again before taking a deep breath. ‘ _I can’t condemn him to a life with me; that would be nothing but hell. She’s right; I’m too broken._ ’

Then he chuckled with sorrow as he realized he actually cared about the young alpha and his sister. Why was that? They were alphas! Both of them! Had they somehow managed to sneak into his heart and mind?

“Damn it…” he sighed and gasped for breath. “You’re both insane for accepting someone like me.”

“ _Slaine?_ ” he heard Yuki’s voice on the other side of the door. “ _Are you all right in there?_ ”

“Y-yes!” the blond answered and grew weak; he squatted down while still holding on to the edge of the sink and felt his body tremble more. “A moment, please!”

‘ _I can’t get up…_ ’ he thought and felt tears in his eyes. His strength had left him entirely while emotions stormed inside him from soon being forced to leave the bathroom and see the person he feared even more than the vice admiral. ‘ _I can’t do this!_ ’

His tired body was responding with the fight-or-flight instinct. It was ridiculous. It was like his entire being thought Asseylum was a predator ready to eradicate him; his own existence was somehow in danger.

“ _Are you sure you’re all right?_ ” he heard Yuki ask, and Slaine was about to ask her to wait just a minute more when the door opened a crack. “Slaine?” she asked carefully without opening the door too much. “Do you need help or anything?”

“N-no…” Slaine gasped and felt nausea push up something disgusting in his throat. “J-just… I-“

The door opened entirely after Yuki excused herself for entering.

“She’s here and waits for you in the-“ she began to say but went silent from seeing the blond in the pathetic position on the floor.

She had no time to say anything else: The moment Slaine heard Asseylum had arrived and was waiting for him, he threw himself over the toilet and vomited. Cold sweat pearled down his skin beneath the sweater and trembles took over him, quivering him down into a lump on the floor – and he cried.

“Oh!” Yuki exclaimed and sat down next to him to pick his exhausted body up into her arms. She brushed his wet bangs away from his eyes and looked at him with pity and shock. “What do you need?” she asked. “Are you hurt anywhere? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

Slaine gasped with trembling breaths and coiled weak arms around his torso.

“I c-can’t…” he breathed. “She … scares me…”

“The empress?” asked the woman, and the prisoner nodded.

“The doctor…” he continued desperately, trying to communicate to her he needed medical aid in order to find strength to see the woman he had severely wronged, as he knew he was not allowed to refuse seeing her; that was the least he could do, to give her a chance to tell him what she felt and thought of all that he had done. “C-call him…”

Even if he knew the medicine he got would not take the horrible fear away, at least he would be drowsy enough to let his thoughts rest and follow the guards out of the bathroom. It was his reason that made him fear his childhood friend, which meant he had to shut it down to some degree in order to see her. Without the medication, he suspected he would faint or get an aggressive reaction.

Thankfully, to his relief, the doctor showed up and gave him what he wanted. Yuki called to her brother to let him know Slaine would need several minutes before he was strong enough to see the empress, and she and the doctor stayed with him in the bathroom to wait for him to get drowsy and calm.

After announcing he was ready, Slaine was shown down the corridors with support from Yuki and another guard. He followed their guidance with sluggish steps and hung his head from tiredness. At moments, thoughts of the former princess being in the same building as him made him fearful and he hesitated to follow, but then he lost the thought of her due to a drugged mind and calmed down, following the guards once more.

The door before him opened and he recognized the large room as the room where the glass chamber had been before he had destroyed it. The same strong and luminous lights were still there, blinding him just like they had always done when he had stepped into this room, but he noticed the broken glass walls were gone; the only thing that remained was the platform on which the interrogation chamber had stood.

There, on the platform, a table and two chairs waited – the same set Slaine and Inaho had sat on before it had turned out the blond was an omega – and on one of these a figure sat with golden hair draping pale shoulders. A white and ruffled off-shoulder top covered the bosom, and a flowy, long skirt hid the figure’s slender legs that were neatly resting beneath the table.

He recognized this very feminine look painstakingly well. It was the dress of the princess he used to know; the same dress she had worn in her palace and on board the Landing Castle that had taken her to Earth. This dress had been worn by her when she had been in her role of the girl she was when stripped of her royal duties.

Her face remained screened off by his very selective sight when he was shown up onto the podium and seated onto the chair opposite of the empress. He was also too drugged to resist or hesitate in the arms of Yuki and the guard, so he had no choice but to follow their silent guidance. Somehow, he felt this lack of choice liberating for once.

It was impossible to raise his head to look her in the eyes. Not yet. He could not meet her heavenly blue gaze just yet even if he knew it was waiting for him right there, right in front of him – watching him probably with pity. He had to find his footing first; to know how he should talk to her, before he could do anything else. Because he knew her as the little girl she had been, meeting her like this – a long time since their innocent days – made him feel confused of who she was.

The atmosphere around her royal being was already very different to how he remembered it. It confirmed she was not the girl he remembered she had been; she was not the nostalgic princess, but a ruling empress – a stranger. Despite this, he could not shake the feeling off that he _should_ know her; Asseylum was still Asseylum no matter how much she had grown. The bond of friendship they had had was still there somehow, but he feared he was clutching around the memory of her as a princess and friend rather than accepting that perhaps she had changed enough to be a completely different person.

There was simply a strange feeling of false nostalgia around her.

Yuki exchanged a couple of polite words with the empress whom she seemed somewhat familiar with, and when Slaine heard the empress reply with a kind tone he felt a strong impulse to run away. Her voice still sounded the same, and therefore it cut through his eardrums and attacked his heart with immense fear without his mind being able to resist; all her words reached his brain immediately without being filtered by reason. It cut straight through him – brutally – like he had never forgotten how much weight and meaning her voice carried. It reminded him about the adoration he had felt for her, and it began to bloom within him once again, growing into a little bud.

He reacted by flinching when she spoke to Yuki. Each tone in the angelic voice attacked his ears, making him jump as if they were as sudden and harsh as gunshots. Oh, how terrified he was of her as he could relate to her by her mere voice; relate to the little girl he had known her as! The terror her words caused him seemed to reach everyone in the room as they all went silent and turned their eyes toward him; he could feel their gaze burn on him.

“We will leave you two to it then,” Yuki finally said quietly, as if not to spook the prisoner. “If you need anything or something happens, push the alarm button you got, Your Highness.”

The empress did not reply with words, but seemed to rather nod in order to not frighten the prisoner with her kind tones. The room was emptied of everyone but Slaine and the empress, and it fell into silence that stretched on for a long time.

Disturbing and distraught thoughts began but never ended while he tried to adjust to the situation. He could not make out anything of them more than them being born from fear, which in turn was born from guilt and nostalgic love. He managed to start the thought of something about his future, but it was quickly cut off and continued to be about his past. Then it morphed into something about _what ifs_ and _buts_ , and then it died and disappeared, only to be reborn again. He felt erratic in his search for stability.

The room was haunted by her breaths and movements – her mere presence felt like an oppressive ghost’s, and he did not know what to do with himself to hide from her apparition.

He knew her presence felt like this because he thought of her as the princess rather than an empress despite knowing she was not the same person anymore. She had not shouldered as big responsibilities back then like she did now, and he was aware of this having changed her during their time apart. Her role had changed; he had no idea who she was now that she was an empress; all he could relate to was to the girl from the past who was yet to become a ruler. He had to stop this nostalgia from flowing within him; he had to accept she was someone else than the princess in his memories.

By the time she decided to say something, he had already begun to sober up from the drug somewhat; he was able to focus and listen to her with less problems of connecting his thoughts together, as she said:

“How are you feeling?” The blond did not know what to say; he had still not found his footing. When Slaine did not answer and the silence continued for a while again, she proceeded to say, after understanding the blond would not give an answer to her question: “I understand a lot has happened to you just by looking at you. I can also understand you are infuriated and in grief from losing your child and for all the wrongs that you have been subjected to. Forgive us, Slaine… This was not how it was supposed to be.”

Her apology burned in his heart when thinking of her as the little princess; she was not supposed to ask him for forgiveness. No matter what had happened in this prison, he could not blame her for it; he knew she was not responsible for all the pain he had gone through, and he could never even try to reason his heart to believe she was at fault.

This time, when he did not answer, she stayed silent and waited somewhat impatiently. Slaine felt stressed out; he had always answered the princess in the past, and now he was unable to. The blond had to gather strength to speak to her, because he owed it to her. Even if the silence stressed him to say something regardless, whether he was ready or not, he was still grateful for her patience.

So, what would he say to her? What kind of reply should he offer her? Did she expect him to be angry or sad?; she had pointed out those feelings after all. Be sad and angry at what? For losing the child? Why would he, when that mattered little to him after reasoning about what mattered and not?; he regretted nothing as he merely wanted to survive on his own conditions.

That left him with the option of telling her the truth; he was not angry or sad for losing the child.

What about her apology? He did not really think about what had been done to him anymore as he understood very little of what was supposed to be normal; he had gone through so much during his short life that the stormy emotions he had felt recently had mostly been forgotten. He recognized this pattern of self-preservation; the same thing had happened with the pain inflicted on him by the late Count Cruhteo’s whip; it had been agonizing enough he had forgotten how horrible it had been, so that he hopefully was spared from remembering it or thinking about it ever again.

Instead of dwelling on the hurt and pain, he chose to push all that aside and move on as quickly as possible; that was how he had been taught to survive; alone and not cry for help.

The question remained: What would he say to her when he was not angry or sad? He felt hurt – or course he did! – but not by her. He could not answer her apologies as she had done nothing to apologize for. The one who had done him wrong was the vice admiral, but Slaine had already gotten his revenge and knew he would not get an apology from the old man. Instead, he was satisfied enough after the attack to allow himself to think about tomorrow; to continue surviving somehow and hopefully never see the old man again. That was all he could do.

‘ _This is not her fault_ ,’ he thought and gritted his teeth and felt tired while the bud of adoration began to slowly open. ‘ _She should know…_ ’

“It wasn’t my child, my princess…” he finally managed to say after a while of thinking, trying to speak to her like he used to in their past; calling her an empress was too strange. His voice barely got past the thick lump in his throat. “It was better this way. Please, don’t concern yourself with it.”

She seemed to jump the chance to speak to him now that he had finally opened his lips and worded a reply, because she said:

“Of course I am concerned!” she exclaimed quietly. Her sincerity was too strong for his frail mind; he held his breath to calm down the uneasiness: “Why did you keep it a secret from me, Slaine?” She was speaking to his younger self, also holding on to the memory of him. The blond frowned and knitted his fingers together like in a prayer. Was she blaming him for not having gotten the chance to save him? Was he responsible for the guilt she felt by not saying a word about him being an omega? He stayed silent, listening to her as she continued: “Had I known you were an omega, I would have never left you alone with strangers.”

“I … didn’t know it mattered, Your Highness.”

“Oh, Slaine… Of course it mattered,” she whispered with sorrow and seemed to lean toward him just slightly. “It still does.”

She had misinterpreted what he had meant. As a young teenager, Slaine had not known that it mattered what sex people were, but she apparently thought he meant he had not known she cared too much about him. Quickly, he had to correct this to ease her of guilt; he would hate it if the princess thought he had such low thoughts of her.

“When I was a child…” he said quietly. “I had no idea it mattered what sex people were. I … only found out later when I went into my first heat that that’s all that matters in society.”

“And why did you stay silent about it when I saw you on board Castle Cruhteo when boarding it to fulfill my goodwill visit to Earth?” she asked, and Slaine felt like crying again.

Somehow, her persistent probing made him feel like he had done something wrong, that he had kept a horrible secret from the princess. Even if that was not true – he truthfully knew it was not so – her insisting to know why he had not told her anything made him feel quite guilty anyway.

“B-because…” he whispered beneath his breath. The flower of adoration continued opening some more. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Worry?” she asked confused. Slaine was perplexed of her reaction; had Inaho not told her about his past? “Worry about what?” Surprised, he realized she knew nothing of his teenage years, and he could hear the distress in her voice as she began to understand: “Did they do something horrible to you?” When Slaine did not answer, she grew all the more distressed. “Slaine. Did they abuse you? Please, answer me!”

How could he answer her with the truth? It would break her heart. He cursed he had not thought his answers through properly; had he stayed silent, she would not have gotten the clues to ask the questions she asked now. She was sharp, always seeing through the layers of protection he wore. The princess had always been like that, and that was probably why Slaine had fallen for her in the first place.

Or rather … fallen for the care she gave him because of it – like Inaho had pointed out yesterday.

‘ _I have to be honest with myself; I loved her for saving me when no one else did…_ ’

Even so, she had asked him a question and he could not lie. He would do anything she asked of him now that he was in the presence of the princess once more, even if he thought second thoughts; he was cursed to always abandon them and obey her:

“Count Cruhteo didn’t like Terrans… Nor did he like omegas…” the blond whispered quietly, clenching his fingers around his hands, tighter and tighter to stay calm. “A Terran omega was the embodiment of everything he rejected. It put me in a quite vulnerable position.”

This was all he had to say. She knew the rest; he could feel the quick change in the atmosphere, and he was suddenly reminded that perhaps she was not the princess he wanted to see her as. Before, she would have reacted with horror and pity as she had had little power back then, but now she reacted like she was ready to act on the truth she had learned – to exercise power he did not recognize her having.

“Had I known-“ she began, but Slaine parted his lips and interrupted her, still trying to think of her as the princess, because he could not relate to her in any other way:

“What is done is done, Your Highness. Please, don’t dwell on the past. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It matters, Slaine,” she said quietly with a trembling voice. “I care about you; you are a dear childhood friend of mine. You have always been so brave and sought to suffer alone, but there is no need to. I believe you have the right to blame me as well for all that has been done to you for not seeing how hurt you were. To think I dared to say it confidently that I knew you better than anyone else. Forgive me for being blind; I am sure all the signs were there, I simply avoided looking at them.”

With those words, the flower opened entirely. Once again he adored her – the princess – for making her vulnerable by blaming herself for all the horrors he had gone through.

Blame her? Impossible! Just as she saw him as the little boy she had known, he saw her as the little girl she had been. No matter how much they had grown, what defined them for each other were the roles they had carried in their joyful past – fooling them into an interaction based on nostalgia and nothing more. Even if they tried to be grownups – to be the new people they had become since their childhood years – they spoke to the memories of each other with an adult’s words.

This interaction was nothing but tragic.

“It is not your fault, Your Highness…” he whispered, feeling all the more comfortable with talking to her even though the topic was difficult. “You did everything you could to let me stay in Vers the day Count Cruhteo came to take me away. There is nothing to blame you for.”

“I could have saved you the day I was taken on board Castle Cruhteo. I could have taken you away from there,” she insisted with ever-strong confidence carrying her beautiful voice. “I cannot set the past right, but I wish to try by giving you safety in the future.”

“Why … didn’t you let me die?” Slaine whispered instead, unsure of if he was allowed to ask the question.

Asseylum drew in a sharp breath before she hurriedly said:

“Because I thought the world would seem colder without your gentle heart giving it warmth; how could I ever let you die without first giving you a chance to live, as I am sure you still are the kind Slaine I remember you as? I hoped you would get this chance here on Earth, but what UE has done to you is outrageous and inhuman. I entrusted your punishment to them with Kaizuka as your guardian; I have to admit that was partly why I never took you with me to Vers after the war, because I believed you had to be punished for your crimes. However, I cannot trust them with you any longer, and thus I have arranged for you to come with me to Vers.”

There it was – the request he had expected. Now, what would he do with it?; he had to answer with something. The _empress_ demanded it, and the flower of adoration froze.

In a way, it was precious the way they chose to remember each other like that; to look past all the faults and wrongs that had defiled their relationship during the recent years and cling to the peaceful years they had spent together in the palace corridors in Vers. Then again, it was tragic as Slaine knew she had noticed it as well; there was a lack of something between them already. The same kind of friendly love and care that had existed between them in the past was gone. The distance between them felt longer than he had expected now that she spoke about his imprisonment like an empress, as if there was no hope to repair their past relationship. How could they repair it? They both knew they were not the same people anymore; their old roles had disappeared in time as they had grown apart.

Despite this, out of desperation, both of them were uncomfortable with the words that would declare their precious childhood to have come to an end. Their memories were something both of them clung to as they were not ready to let go of the people they were in their happy past, when innocence had still characterized their beings. It was like saying farewell to a loved one, knowing a chance for a second last glance would never come; something painful.

Their words spoke of hope, but it was all in vain. They refused to see each other as anything else but the children they had been with the eyes of the young adults they had become. If she told the truth about wanting to take him away from here to offer him safety, then she did not blame him for what he had done to her – which probably made this hopelessness harder on them both.

‘ _We can never go back to what we were, nor should we. We have grown apart and it’s too awkward between us to repair it_ ,’ he knew and made an attempt to see her as an empress:

They could not look at each other as their past selves anymore; they had both fallen victim to time as they had grown up. It was too obvious. No matter how precious their past was, they had to face the reality and each other as adults. And yet, they could not end it. She felt she owed him a better future, while he thought he owed her his life – she for the young Slaine’s sake, and he for the sake of the young Asseylum.

‘ _We’re trying to make the right thing for our past selves; I can’t let go of her just as she can’t let go of me…_ ’ he thought as he realized this and shook the frost of his newly re-bloomed adoration in a helpless manner. ‘ _I’d rather cling to her past self than lose her_.’

Despite knowing how destructive they were right now, he had to go with her; he had to allow herself to get relief from the guilt of having put him in here where he had been raped, abused and forcefully impregnated – even though nothing of it had been her fault. The memory of her – the kindhearted her – was burning so brightly he had to accept her request; he could not fail the girl he saw in his mind because he would forever owe her his life for having saved him so many times in their past.

‘ _But what about Inaho?_ ’ he thought, and her image formed into the brown-haired young man. ‘ _Wouldn’t it be better for him that I leave and never come back?_ ’ the blond continued thinking and realized he genuinely cared what kind of future his fated mate would have. ‘ _He’ll never be happy with me_.’

“I have a room for you; it is much like an apartment,” she said and interrupted his sluggish thoughts and feelings, trying to sell her offer to him, speaking to him like to a child. “There you will not need to worry about evil, as I will never allow anything bad to happen to you from here on. You will have a good life.”

Gritting his teeth, the omega stayed silent as he felt slightly insulted by the tone of her voice; like she saw him as someone pitiful and helpless when he had in fact gone through hell and lived to tell the tale. She said her offer like she was certain he would go with her, and he was not sure he liked it.

The flower of adoration lost a pedal.

‘ _I’m not the boy you knew me as; you can’t expect me to think like him and blindly follow you like I used to_ ,’ he thought and began to realize how twistedly they behaved toward each other. ‘ _But … I still owe you my life; if I can make you happy – no matter in what way – then I will comply and protect your happiness._ ’ At the same time, he would spare Inaho from a rotten future with him. It was the right decision, right?

“Slaine?” she asked as he did not answer. “Could you please look at me? Let me see your beautiful eyes.”

‘ _Beautiful?_ ’ he thought as he reacted on this unexpected word she had never used to describe him before. Another pedal was lost.

“Let me tell you how remorseful I am for having left you here alone for so many months, without even visiting you once,” she continued with a whisper. “I have no excuse. I was simply not ready to face you, and I postponed it unjustly at the expense of you.”

Slaine took a deep and quivering breath. She wanted something that was too difficult to him; to look up at her and properly face her was terrifying as he would expose his current self to her. What if she disliked what she saw? What if she would get angry for finally seeing the face of the man who had nearly destroyed her life in the worst way possible?

Or … would she – as an alpha – look at him like the omega he was?

Even so, he could not deny her wish. He was on a mission to protect the princess’s happiness still, and it should not matter how she looked at him if she wanted to see him. Weakly and hesitantly his wish to make her happy overpowered his fears, and he slowly raised his head to let her look him in the eyes. He felt like the air shook and quivered violently as he did so – like the earth would crumble beneath him – and the moment their gazes collided the shaking stopped and everything came to a halt.

The heavenly blue eyes were visible before him once more in the still-standing time. They looked at him with pity and forgiveness, like a parent looking at their child – just like they had done the day Slaine had opened up to her about his father after Dr. Troyard had passed away. There was nothing frightening in the eyes he saw and he found this surprisingly calming. She studied him in silence with her brows furrowing for each detail she noticed in him, and then she finally raised her hands to her lips and tears formed on her waterline.

“Oh…” she gasped with a voice thick from sorrow. “My dear Slaine… You look so exhausted.”

This made his gaze instantly drop to the edge of the table between them. So he looked different to what she remembered? It was expected, and yet so disgraceful because it made him feel like a monster; the image of him failed his mission, and it shook the flower of adoration violently.

“Forgive me…” he whispered and avoided looking at her again.

“Oh no,” she hurriedly answered and stood up to reach out a hand to touch his shoulder, but the pitiful blond quickly pushed his chair back from her to avoid her touch.

“Please!” he exclaimed, surprising her. He could not allow her to touch him; he was dirty and revolting, and he would only defile her. “Please…” he then said with a lower voice. “You shouldn’t touch me…”

“And why is that, Slaine?” she asked somewhere in front of him.

He could not answer her as it would only be shameful. She would only shoot down everything he said with her gentle words born from the specific kindness only she harbored. Whatever excuse he gave her, she would prove him wrong; that was how it had always been between them. No matter how much he avoided her, she was always willing to follow him. This also meant he could never hide from her, leaving him in a vulnerable position each time.

“My dear Slaine,” she said again, carefully speaking to his child self and moved toward him by rounding the table. Slaine wanted to run away more than anything, but he was frozen to the spot. “There is nothing to fear in my touch,” she whispered and stopped right in front of him. “Neither of us will hurt each other with a mere touch, so let me.”

‘ _But my body is disgusting!_ ’ he thought and suffocated a whimper. ‘ _It’s used and worn_.’

Despite that, he let her raise a hand to his resting in the blond’s exhausted lap, and she gently curled her fingers around it and gave it a little squeeze. Then, like an angel descending to earth, she knelt in front of him to look at him from below, haunting his line of sight.

“I will protect you from now on,” she said quietly. “I shall give you a room with enough space to not make you feel caged, and you will get your own bath like the ones on the Landing Castles. There will be whatever kinds of food you like – I remember you enjoyed soups from the North and picnic sandwiches with jam – and you will never have to feel understimulated. Vers and Earth have established a trade agreement, so Vers has plenty of food now.”

Her words were as pretty as her voice, but they were spoken by the empress in her. The blond decided to accept this unsymmetrical interaction as she promised him a life worth living – at least more so than the life he led in here. He would get proper living quarters and a bigger variety of food, and he would get to bathe every day in a warm and large bath in which he could swim, and also possibly have things to do and spend his time on.

It was more than he dared to dream, and he was grateful for her wanting to open up his closed-up world like this even if she probably tried to ease her guilt by doing all this for him.

But … there was something that worried him that made the flower of adoration freeze once more, something which he had to understand before he could say anything else:

“Will I be given suppressants?” he asked quietly and felt how his entire body grew guarded as he had to speak about the truth of him being an omega, reminding her of what they were beneath their clothes.

A silence settled between them. Asseylum did not answer immediately as she seemed to realize he was not the little boy she tried to see him as – a reaction that gave him a strange feeling, like he should be observant of her movements. Why the silence? Was it not a matter of course that he should be allowed to suppress his heats once they would come?

Even if he lived in comfort every other days of the months, once the heat came even paradise itself would turn into a living hell, and that was why he had been forced to break their little bubble of nostalgia. A heat was painful for an omega if they were denied to mate; it was even used as a tool of psychological torture as it worked wonders on the systematic oppression of omegas in society. Slaine had been through it once as punishment, and he had seen it being done to other omegas in Vers to make them obedient.

“You are aware the suppressants are dangerous, are you not?” she finally asked hesitantly. “Then why would you want to take them?”

How could she know anything about how a heat was experienced by an omega?; she was an alpha after all who had no need to worry about such things. She could never properly empathize with an omega that way as she could never experience the maddening heats herself. He could not blame her for it. He should not blame her for it. She only wished him well after all.

Right?

“Do you not think your body should be left alone and let it function as it should? The heats are natural,” she asked after a while of silence again. “The suppressant hormones would suffocate your body and you could get complications from them.”

A third pedal was lost from his flower.

Why would he care what the suppressants would do to him? She said to let his body go into heat because it was a natural thing, but she completely forgot that even if he stayed in a “natural state” he would still experience immense suffering and endanger himself. Why should “natural” anguish be better than “artificial” suffering? How was that natural to begin with; for an intelligent organism to risk their life for the sake of mating? Why would that be allowed when people were so obsessed with suicide prevention to begin with? Just like the hormonal contraceptives that turned the menstrual cycle off had turned out to help minimizing the risk of endometrial and ovarian cancer, the suppressants helped to reduce risky behavior and prevent the omega from endangering themselves out of desperation to mate.

The omega population was not insane during their heats because they lacked self-restraint in general or had lower intelligence; they simply could not help it once the heat came. It had to do with the survival of the omegan and alphan species because omegas were fertile less often than beta females; an extreme situation required an extreme solution for the species to survive.

“The heats…” Slaine whispered to answer her. “They are painful if I … can’t mate…”

“What about contraceptives?” she asked, and the omega shook his head.

“They don’t help to prevent the heat…”

She had not thought this through. Then again – once again – he could not blame her as she had never known him as an omega before; he had always been a beta or someone undefined to her, and she had never seen him in heat or act like an omega. If she viewed him as the little boy she had known, then how could she be able to relate to him as an omega? Even if Slaine hated when people spoke to him like an omega rather than a human being, he still had to accept that there were things that differentiated him from alphas and male betas; he could give birth while they could not, which made this problem with heats foreign to them. He _had_ to accept that.

“Would it help if you have someone to mate with?” she asked, and this time he looked up at her with confusion. Something told him she thought too little of the importance of mating – especially of how important it might be for an omega who was the one to let another person inside their body. “We could arrange that,” she continued and thought. “I only want what is best for you, so if you need to mate during your heats then I will find a way to spare you from pain.”

“I only need the suppressants,” he insisted and looked at her with a slowly deepening frown. “I have taken them before; I only need them and then the problem will disappear.”

‘ _Not just anyone will do_ ,’ he thought and curled his fingers around the hem of his sweater. ‘ _I don’t want it to be just about anyone; I want to mate with someone who I feel comfortable with_.’

“The suppressants are dangerous,” she insisted back, and – for the first time in her presence – Slaine felt frustrated. She was blinded by the norms concerning reproduction. How was it that alphas were almost always like this? They were the conservative ones while the omegas were reasonable. Or so he thought, at least. “I and Klancain are married,” she continued while thinking hard, as if her previous words had settled their disagreement. “And we are both alpha and cannot get heirs. While I could find omegas who are more than willing to mate with me to keep my bloodline alive, they have no meaning to me.”

Hearing her words faded his surroundings, as if the world itself felt far away. The flower of adoration withered immediately and shriveled up before it turned to dust.

How could she say something like that? How could she give him an unworded suggestion like that? She saw the unnamed omegas – the possible future mothers to her children – as nothing else but breeding animals by not giving them any other meaning. Such has the norms been in the noblesse in Vers for a long time, and he was shocked to hear these norms were still alive even after Asseylum had taken over as an empress. Then – after such an insulting comment about the omegas – she dared to suggest _him_ to give her children, even if she had not said it openly; he had heard it beneath her words.

“You mean…” he said quietly, breathless from the shock that made his heart ache. “Her Highness wants me to…”

“Only if you wish that yourself, Slaine,” she hurried to say, but the damage had already been done as he found even her thought to be a betrayal. “Of course the children will be yours, even if they are mine and Klancain’s in name. I will mate with you if you want me to during your heats, and I will never trespass on your body outside your heats. If you wish not to, we will have to come up with another solution. Please know that you are allowed to choose what you want to do. I simply want to explore all the options we have.”

Of all the options to explore, she began with this? He felt hurt. So much so that he wanted to reject her immediately. Then again, as he thought as best as he could with his drowsy mind, he was sure she did not mean any harm with the words. She would never harm him, he knew that – or rather hoped.

A royal breeder… Could he become one? The way she said it was like she was doing him a favor by giving him her alpha body to please him. She thought of him as passive and in need of her to calm his heats, disallowing him to take control of his own body and sexuality with the suppressants because she believed in the warped concepts of sex and gender roles in society. Perhaps she was completely unaware of this?

Inaho had been different; he had wanted to let Slaine take what he wanted from him rather than give what Slaine asked of him – giving the blond an active role – which was an expression of the way he perceived Slaine; like an equal human.

It was not a surprise Asseylum thought like the majority did, though. She had grown up in a secluded world and been fed with norms ever since she was born; it was not easy for her to notice what she was actually thinking since she had not been taught to think enough, right?

To control a population’s sexuality had been a successful tool to control the population itself in the past, and it would forever stay that way unless the oppressed fought back.

But … how could he fight back against her? It was forbidden! No matter how much she had grown and changed, she _was_ Asseylum – the kindhearted girl he had grown up with while his father had been busy being a researcher rather than a father. He could never hurt her anymore after all the hurt he had already subjected her to, nearly destroyed her life entirely. He owed her his life, did he not? Perhaps – outrageously and perhaps – he owed her the happiness of being a father as well? If he owed her his life, did he not owe her to give her children life as well; to borrow her his body? What right had he to refuse her after everything he had done?

‘ _Can I do it?_ ’ he wondered and felt his heartbeat fasten. Images of Inaho flickered in his mind when he attempted to picture himself in Vers, giving birth to royal babies. The brunet’s presence in his mind was like a warning light flashing. ‘ _But it was my dream to give her a lot of children after all…_ ’

No matter what he chose to do – to bond with Inaho or not – it would never give the brunet a chance to live a comfortable life because Slaine was – at the end of the day – the former Count Saazbaum Troyard, murderer of thousands upon thousands.

‘ _If giving her and Klancain children is the only way for me to pay back for what I’ve done, then … I cannot say no…_ ’ he thought and gritted his teeth before nodding to her.

“Oh Slaine,” she whimpered and raised her hands to his cheeks to cup them gently. He closed his eyes at feeling her touch and held his breath while listening to her as she continued: “Thank you. I shall give you everything you need and never demand anything from you that you cannot do or give. You will be safe with me for as long as you live, and you are allowed to change your mind. Please, do not think that I care so little of you as to perceive you simply as a breeder. If you want to be a mother, I shall give you children. If you change your mind, then that is fine as well.”

At this he opened his eyes and looked at her to face the new her; the woman who would take care of him. Their interaction felt false, though, as all he could see in her was the little girl he had grown up with. To think she was an empress and now his caretaker and the future father to his children gave him a new perspective on how warped this arrangement was, but even so he could not reject her – even if he somewhere deep inside knew he had made a horribly wrong decision just now.

He closed his eyes in surrender and took a deep breath to ease himself from tension.

“I have to call for the personnel to arrange this,” she said then carefully. “You will come with me immediately, so you should pack your things.”

Slaine shook his head.

“I only have this,” he said and raised his hand to show the talisman to her that had been hidden beneath the collar of his sweater. “And a notebook and pen. There is nothing else.”

“T-then I shall ask them to bring your notebook and pen,” she said somewhat taken aback. “Do not worry. You will be given everything you require once we arrive to Vers,” she then promised and called for the personnel to arrange the transfer of him.

Slaine’s hand squeezed tighter around the talisman and he gritted his teeth to bite the tears back that threatened to fall. The feeling of having made a wrong decision was growing, but he was too much of a coward to go back on his word now.

‘ _I’m sorry, Inaho… It’s better this way; you don’t need me_ ,’ he insisted, hiding from his own responsibility.

αβΩ

The unpleasant news hit him harder than he had expected. Inaho felt his knees grow weak beneath him as he heard Slaine agree to go with the empress to Vers over the speaker system; he had been listening to their interaction all this time. He should have known – and in a way he had been fully aware – that Slaine would choose her for natural reasons as they were childhood friends. The guilt Slaine felt was strong enough to make him want to pay back for his crimes, and it had turned out to be stronger than expected as he was willing to become her breeder. Inaho knew he did not choose her because he loved her; Slaine chose her rather because he felt familiar with her – more so than with the brunet.

Then again, his hopes had been for Slaine to stay, and he had blindly believed the blond would choose the fated mate over the childhood friend.

‘ _I relied too much on us being fated mates_ ,’ he scolded himself and felt the strength to stand leave him. ‘ _Had I spoken to him differently, had he made a different decision?_ ’

“Nao!” Yuki exclaimed when the brunet staggered and had to find support from the desk in the surveillance room where he had watched the screen and listened to Slaine’s and Asseylum’s exchange of words. “Are you all right?”

Inaho gasped for breath as his chest grew tighter from the knowledge he had lost Slaine. It was difficult to believe it as he wanted the other so much that his world crumbled around him when he learned he could not have him. The first kiss they had shared had already begun the bonding process, and they had been enchanted even further after their second kiss in the infirmary. He would never be able to forget the aftertaste of the other’s kiss, and he would never forget the sensation of his luscious lips and warm body.

“ _Bring his notebook and pen_ ,” they heard Seylum say to a guard who had just arrived into the room. “ _I shall be taking him with me_.”

“Leave me be,” Inaho gasped to his sister and felt a strange heat course through him at hearing the preparations were already being made in the interrogation room.

‘ _How can my body react like this now, with a heat?_ ’ he thought frustrated and gritted his teeth that they creaked.

“But Nao-!” Yuki began, but Inaho felt a great urgency to get his sister out of the room.

“Arrange it,” he said. “Help them move the prisoner.”

“But what about him being your fated mate?” his sister asked in distress.

“I cannot stop him,” the brunet said and felt the heat from his chest strangely climb up toward his face. “If he wants to go with her and believes he’ll be happy with her, then I cannot stop him.”

‘ _His happiness is far more important_ ,’ he thought and released a strange huff, like someone had hit him over his chest.

“ _Where are Kaizuka and the warden?_ ” Seylum’s chirping voice asked.

“You don’t know that…” she mumbled to him. “You love him that much?” his sister then asked and Inaho nodded, raising a hand to his aching chest.

“More than anything,” he answered with a strained voice, and the heat settled around his eyes. “Help them,” he then said again and leaned further over the desk. “I … should stay here.”

“Because you can’t watch him go?” she asked, and that was when the strange heat in his chest and around his eyes revealed its true nature.

Tears. What rolled down his cheeks were tears. It was so surprising and mindboggling he could not comprehend it and found himself at a loss of what to do. Mindlessly, he raised a hand to touch them and then stared at the wet fingertips with shock. He could not remember he had ever cried before.

“N-Nao…?” the woman behind him asked, and Inaho finally squatted down on the floor while holding onto the edge of the desk, and succumbed to his grief.

It hurt. It burned. It was so horribly chaotic he could not control it. Once he had given up resisting the grief, all of his defenses crumbled – like a dam breaking. Oh, how he hated to see Slaine go. How terribly jealous he was! It was uncomfortable and overwhelming, horrifying and pathetic.

The warden entered the interrogation room; Yuki told the brunet so, to warn him of what was going on in the room. Then they heard him and the empress exchange several words before royal guards walked into the room.

“The empress’s guards are here to take them away,” Yuki said with distress and looked at her brother again, who still hid his tears from her. “You have to do something.”

“I can’t,” Inaho answered with a whisper. “Let them go.”

“But Nao!” Yuki exclaimed and took a hold of his shoulders and forced him to look at her. The moment she saw his tears, her face paled and body stiffened. “Y-you’re…” she then gasped and looked horrified.

“He should go,” Inaho tried again and squirmed his shoulders free from her hands. “If she can make him happy, then he should go with her.”

“The hell you’ll just sit here!” she suddenly growled and grabbed him again to pull him up from the floor. “You owe him to see him go, and – more than anything – you owe him to ask him to stay! You’ve been so damn passive toward him that it’s not a wonder he chose her over you! Get out there and fix your mistake! You heard her: She’ll use him like a baby machine and he’s obviously too weak and confused to reject her!”

She began dragging him along, and he stumbled behind her while captured in her strong grip around his blazer. He could not tell her to let him go, nor could he argue with her as he put all of his last hopes in her helping him to face Slaine once more. Perhaps she was right about him having been passive; Slaine had battled difficult arguments and decisions after all, and the brunet had not offered him much guidance. Inaho had just simply wanted Slaine to have his autonomy and decide which option he preferred without bothering him too much with pleas and orders; Inaho had wanted to respect him a little too much – so much that he was now losing the blond entirely.

“Hurry up now and get your shit together,” Yuki scolded angrily as they were closing in on the interrogation room with hasty steps. “You’re good at dealing with problems in general, but you’re completely incapable of handling emotional conflicts with others. I won’t watch you break apart like this.”

“Sis…” Inaho mumbled the moment she opened the door into the interrogation room, but they found it empty.

“Jeez! The empress seems impatient the way she’s hurrying to return to Vers. Maybe she’s desperate to mate with him; to put a baby where _you_ should be putting a baby instead? She’s occupying your space with guns blazing!” she continued provokingly while she stormed down the room toward the door at the end of it, through where Seylum and Slaine had disappeared along with the guards. “And you’ll just let her?”

“She’s not like that, and you shouldn’t say such things about Sla-,” Inaho argued, but Yuki growled:

“That’s your problem right there; you don’t act on your emotions at all! No wonder she managed to persuade him to become her breeder!; he finds safety in her because she’s available by forcing promises on him and because he knows her. He can’t say no to her because he’s so vulnerable right now that she can make him agree to nearly anything! You haven’t been too available or gotten him to know you; you’ve been hiding from him because of your damn heats and because you respect his independence a little too much even if he has proven he can’t handle being that independent in a controlled environment! How is he supposed to know you’re capable of protecting him by behaving like that?!”

“Yuki-!” the brunet tried to scold her for saying such outrageous things, but she interrupted him while disappearing with him into the corridor on the other side of the door.

“Get angry!” she said. “Feel sad and angry and desperate and pitiful! Act it all out and show him how much you want him. You haven’t cried ever since you were a baby; the hell I’ll just sit and watch you ruin your life like this. You have no damn gut feeling at all!”

A small joy found its way into his heart at hearing that, and he smiled weakly right before she opened the next door and the Versian soldiers came into view. Somewhere up ahead they hinted the back of the empress and the prisoner walking next to the warden. His heart began beating wildly from knowing Slaine was right there in front of him.

Perhaps he should do what his sister said and let the blond know he would be devastated without him. Inaho had a feeling he would get ill one way or another from being separated from him now; they had already kissed and touched each other, teasing their bond to begin forming without the bite. If Slaine disappeared from him now, his heart would be torn apart.

“Get on with it and be a man and alpha!” Yuki grumbled and suddenly threw her brother toward the visitors. While the brunet stumbled forward, clumsily trying to find his balance, he heard his sister yell to the others up ahead: “Hey! Wait just a second!”

The crowd stopped and turned their heads to look at them, and that was when Inaho caught the blond’s eyes looking back at him. Slowly, they widened from seeing the heartbroken young alpha – revealing their color that resembled the water in a tropical cove – and the world stopped turning along with the sounds fading away. Suddenly, there was only the two of them.

‘ _Slaine!_ ’

αβΩ

Something was screaming at him he had made the wrong decision. He followed the woman whose childhood self he had known, obeying her request to follow her and let her take him to Vers. There, he would become yet another prisoner in a luxurious cell with nothing but empty air to breathe, like a bird in a cage whose feathers she could admire whenever the urge to do so would come over her. What more would there be for him than spend his life with her in that little cage and lend her his womb to give her and her husband children? Could he even do that? What if he refused? Would she kindly persuade him to change his mind?

‘ _What am I to her?_ ’ he wondered and sneaked a peak at her where he walked half a step behind her. ‘ _A childhood friend and an omega?_ ’ he thought and felt suffocated by the thought.

She did not mean him harm – he was certain of it – but he suspected she thought of omegas as primitive creatures; beings whose main goal in life was to give birth to children. Why would she not be guilty of performativity just like everyone else? Why should her attitude and actions toward him not change with the knowledge of him being an omega?; everyone else had done that thus far. She was born and raised in a conservative world where prejudice was considered as fact – a world where omegas were sold by their poor families on mate markets to the rich alphas, like pieces of the finest meat from slaughterhouses sold on auction.

Even if she did not look at him like other alphas had done – as the memories she had with him protected him from her nature as an alpha – something had still happened in her ways concerning him after learning he was an omega. He could not blame her, since gender roles of all of their kinds were subconscious rules everyone followed one way or another. They were deeply rooted into the cultures on both Earth and Vers – just like the obstetrician had said – and the more Slaine thought about it the more he realized he, too, was following such rules; suddenly, after learning Asseylum’s change in attitude toward him, he saw her in a different light, as someone with more privileges than him; as a member of the population who had hurt and abused him throughout his teenage years after hitting puberty. Suddenly, she was frightening somehow.

Now, he was going back to that same world where he had been dehumanized by others, to become one of the omegas whose only duty was to please and give birth to heirs to their alphas; to become a slave yet again. Even if he knew she would not force him to do anything he disliked, he also knew he would not deny her heirs if she asked. Such was his loyalty to her – like shackles. That was why he could not turn her down – the reason why he now followed her down a corridor he had not set his foot in ever since he had been brought to this building.

‘ _I have to undo my crimes like this_ ,’ he thought but felt how much of a lie it was. ‘ _Inaho…_ ’

He was reminded by the young alpha’s scent, his voice, the way he moved and the sensation of his lips against Slaine’s, and – instantly – the loud voice that had warned him of this decision being a mistake grew into an alarm. Even so, he felt too hopelessly guilty to refuse her; he was too weak to make the decision that would be the right for him now that he had promised her in a moment of confusion to go with her.

‘ _I can’t do it alone…_ ’ he thought and felt tears in his eyes. ‘ _But he’s already given up, right? Otherwise he would be here, right?_ ’ Inaho would not interfere; he had told the blond he would accept whatever decision Slaine decided to make. According to him, Slaine had decided what to do now, and he would let him go – because he loved and respected him enough to deal with the pain it would cause, simply to allow Slaine to be happy. ‘ _But don’t let me go_ ,’ Slaine thought and bit his lower lip to keep the tears from falling. ‘ _Let me know I have something to keep me here; something that gives me a reason to not honor this wrong decision of mine. I’m a coward, Inaho, because I ask you to save me_.’

It was painful. This decision was probably the worst he had done thus far and now he wondered if he was allowed to change his mind. Instead, he wanted to call for Inaho. He felt like that was what he was supposed to do in a situation like this – to dare depend on him to not reject him like he had rejected him. It was terrifying, this closeness and togetherness it meant to be a pair, but if he was given one last chance – if Inaho gave him a one last chance to change his mind – he would make the right decision. He was sure of it.

‘ _He’s my only true mate_ ,’ the blond thought while panic arose within him. Not until now did he understand he and Inaho were inseparable, and now he cursed himself for having made the decision to tear them apart. ‘ _Damn me!_ ’ he thought and held his breath to stop the tears from falling. ‘ _Why didn’t I notice this sooner?!_ ’

Then, like a lightning from a blue sky, a sudden voice of a woman attacked his ears and the crowd around him halted. The royal guards of Vers turned to look toward the unknown person behind them, but Slaine already knew who it was as he recognized the voice as Yuki’s. Confusion swept over him. Why would Yuki be the one to save him? He and Asseylum followed the guards’ example by turning around with the intention to look at the oldest of the Kaizuka siblings who was calling them to a stop, but when the blond’s eyes landed on the person looking at him, his breath escaped him and his heart jumped. A new flower of adoration burst into bloom immediately:

There, several meters away in front of him, Inaho stood with his sister behind him, watching the blond.

“Inaho?” Asseylum asked somewhere next to him, somewhat confused, but she was obviously happy to see the brunet.

Slaine, however, barely heard her say the young alpha’s name. Instead, he was completely spellbound by the vision of the other and every cell in his body began to vibrate with anticipation. Inaho had appeared before him. He had come to claim him; to save him.

The moment their gazes locked, his body began to tense up. Something strange pushed and pulled at him to move away from the exit and rush closer to the brunet waiting for him – watching him with longing so clear it could not be mistaken he had been crying from heartbreak.

Gravity took a hold of the blond at this realization, whispering to him what he had to do, and the floor beneath him began to shake the longer they stared at each other. Something overwhelming shook him brutally and he dared to release a quivering breath. As he did so and took a deep breath, a weak hint of Inaho’s scent filled his nostrils and his brain was numbed. His thoughts faded away and were replaced by instincts.

Move.

He had to move.

With his marred body, his shattered mind and his aching heart set ablaze by an unknown fire, he was pushed to move forward, fueled by determination brought forth by emotion, and he let go of the princess in his memory, abandoning her behind him as he began moving toward his only true direction.

A gasp of desperate longing escaped him – as though even the short moment it took for him to reach the other was too long – and his instincts told him to close the distance as fast as he could. Without hesitation, he took steps toward the brunet watching him with the same kind of longing – like they were synchronizing.

Inaho stood still – paralyzed. He could only watch his fated mate move closer, almost as if he was terrified of taking liberties to close the distance between them. To Slaine, this did not matter as he moved with a strange sensation of harmony pulsing through his veins. Instead, he listened to the brunet’s silent beckoning. _Hurry_ the other’s gaze told him – and Slaine complied with sprightly obedience:

With legs slowly speeding up to a run, he ran toward his fated mate with a mind so closed off from the reality around him he could not hear the warden yell to the guards behind him to stop him. Instead, he ran in a nearly silent world where the only sounds that were heard were his and Inaho’s; his own pulse hammered in his veins, making his ears ring, his running steps were beating against the stone floor, and he imagined he could hear the brunet’s slowly deepening breaths as his chest heaved all the more the closer Slaine got. Their sounds echoed in the stillness inside their private sphere, while chaos began to rule outside.

A hand grabbed his sweater, but he tore himself free with a willful pull. Fingers brushed his wrist as he swung it back in the run, and he flinched and rejected it like he had been scorched by the touch. Whatever came his way, he would keep moving forward – nothing but forward; that was the direction he should move. Eternity was waiting ahead of him, and he would run through the door that had just been opened by his mate.

Nearly reaching the brunet, he came to a brusque stop, making him feel shocked and confused of why he had not reached the other yet. Arms wrapped around his waist and all he could do was to look at his fated mate with indestructible focus and see the longing in his burgundy eye while Slaine desperately tried to struggle himself free.

The sound of chaos reached into their sphere and he could hear the guards and warden exclaim words Slaine barely comprehended.

“Let him go!” Yuki’s voice yelled somewhere behind Inaho.

“Slaine, please calm down!” Asseylum begged behind him and another set of arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back, away from Inaho.

“You’ve done enough harm,” the warden shouted.

“Stop struggling!” a guard ordered him.

‘ _Inaho…! Inaho!_ ’ he thought instead, struggling with his eyes fixed on the other who stood paralyzed and watched the blond fight the guards. ‘ _I can’t ignore it! I can’t let go of it! I can’t go with her! I have to run to you._ ’

“I choose you!” he exclaimed so loud his voice tore at his throat, with tears threatening to fall down his cheeks while he stared at the dumbfounded Inaho, who seemed to lose his breath at hearing that. “I want you, Inaho Kaizuka! I don’t want to go with her!”

The corridor went silent when Inaho took a step forward as well, closing the distance just slightly between him and Slaine like testing the sturdiness of ice on a frozen lake. Closer. He wanted him to come closer. Faster. He wanted him to reach him faster. It was unbearable to wait any longer as all he wanted to do was to feel the other’s arms around him.

The confusion in the crowd around them gave him a chance to finally wiggle his body free from the guards’ arms, and he stumbled forward before getting back up into a run. A breath was forced out of him as his body finally collided with Inaho’s, and both of them wobbled on weak legs and collapsed onto their knees on the floor right after Slaine threw his arms around the brunet’s neck and held him tightly, refusing to let go. Peace and harmony settled within him, calming his battered body and heart now that he was where he was supposed to be. A whimper escaped him as he felt the warm arms wrap around him to hold him as well, and tears finally dripped from his chin, and he cried:

“I want to stay with you. Please, let me stay here with you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to capture this awkward feeling when you meet someone after several years, and the only way you can relate to them is by trying to pick things up where they were left. Then you notice it's been way too long to do that, and you have to accept that things have changed because the person and you yourself have changed. It's a really confusing feeling imo, so I'm not sure I managed to capture it properly.
> 
> So many psychological reactions went on in Slaine in this chapter that I can't even explain all of them, but I can still try:
> 
> \- The reason why he's been so mean to Inaho is because of the anxious-avoidant attachment style according to Bowlby's attachment theory; he's too afraid to trust someone to care for him that he pushes people away - except for Asseylum who gained his trust when they were children. Even if this behavior is frustrating for others, he's been behaving like this because he's not "normal" when it comes to relationships.
> 
> \- Him being in a horribly vulnerable position made him unable to make a decision, and was one reason to why he accepted Asseylum's request to go with her; she made the decision for him - nearly forcing it on him without her realizing it - while he was horribly confused.
> 
> \- Another reason why he accepted her request was because of the "fight-or-flight" instinct that's not the same in omegas/women as in alphas/men - something he is not aware of because alphas are the norm so that even biological differences are ignored. While alphas/men are more prone to either fight or flee, an omega/woman reacts more with the instinct to calm the situation down; tend-and-befriend reaction. He subconsciously tried to manipulate a frightening situation to calm down by accepting her by an impulse to not cause a conflict, and justified it with confused thoughts when he realized he had made a bad decision.
> 
> \- He showed signs of trying to break away from her – that he has grown apart from her – by reacting to her treating him as an omega according to the norms in society. Then he tries to reason about her reactions to him as an omega by forgiving her, because he was so confused over not wanting to let go of their shared childhood and to atone for his crimes by condemning himself into a life where he would serve her unconditionally.
> 
> \- He needed Inaho to be the one to make the right decision for him by showing up and stop him from leaving, as he was incapable to fix his own life on his own, because frankly he's too mentally unstable to take such responsibilities. Thankfully - because Inaho was oblivious to this - Yuki noticed this and helped the boys on their way.
> 
> Blaaaurhg! This was so difficult to write! *faints*


	17. The Beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh! Considering how much people liked the previous chapter, I fear I won't be able to raise the bar or even reach it again. (@___@) *trying my best*

Someone’s breaths collided with his left ear and neck. It brushed through his hair and was caught in the collar of his shirt, swirling within it, brushing his nape and sent a pleasurable shiver down his spine to raise the hairs to stand on end. A sweet scent so pleasing was filling his nostrils and reaching his brain, where his thoughts were halted and floated in nothing. The warmth of someone else’s body crept through his clothes around his shoulders and neck, reaching and enveloping his heart where overwhelming joy breezed, like the calming wind on a summer day. It was so tranquil, like a harsh storm had blown over. And lastly, the shape of a slender frame in his arms, breathing while squeezing him, with someone else’s bones, skin and muscle pushing against his…

“I’ll bond with you,” he heard the weak, quivering voice cry against his ear with a whisper. “I want to take a chance with you.”

The shock of hearing the words he had waited to hear for nearly two months now had finally reached his ear. His fated mate had chosen him; wanting to take a chance with him; allowing him to merge his future with his.

‘ _Slaine…_ ’ he thought with tremendous relief and tightened his arms around the blond’s frame, lowering his head to rest his cheek against the pale neck of his mate.

“Don’t you dare refuse me now,” Slaine continued with a nervous whisper that shook as he tried to sound brave. “I have fought against so many, but I won’t fight you anymore. Don’t let me become yet another omega among many.”

“Slaine,” Inaho whispered and wallowed in the other’s presence. “I can never refuse you. You’re my fated mate.”

The room was completely silent while the two beings stayed in each other’s arms. The people around them – the empress, warden, the guards and his sister – all stared at them in shock and confusion. Yuki was the only one who knew what was going on, and Inaho could imagine her smiling happily behind him while watching them, with nervousness silently eating at her mind of what would happen to them – if her brother would truly be happy like this.

A sharp step against the stone floor – like a feminine heel stepping closer – attacked their ears and drew them back into reality, and a kind and confused voice said:

“Would you mind explaining what is happening?”

Inaho raised his head and opened his eye to see the empress look at them with a furrowed brow. Confusion had washed over her expression, but she did not harbor any anger or jealousy. Inaho could not answer her, though; he was too busy enjoying the feeling of finally being allowed to hold his fated mate in his arms and comprehend that the painful longing had finally come to its end; to finally have his mate who willingly stayed in his arms.

With his heart beginning to flutter, he soon noticed his teeth tingled more the longer he stayed in the scent cloud around the blond, and he heard the other’s sharp gasps after running calm down and turn softer.

‘ _We’ll fall into a heat_ ,’ he thought with worry. They had to be allowed some privacy as soon as possible before they would get drunk on instincts.

“Your Highness,” Yuki said behind the brunet. Inaho heard her step closer. “It has come to our attention that my brother and Troyard are fated mates. They have tried to fight the instincts as they are both aware of it not being acceptable to live out the impulses they get around each other, but it seems the time they have been in contact with one another – which has been strictly professional may I add – has already weakened their wills.”

She was lying; Inaho had not been able to hold his hands away from the blond at all once they had become affected by their instincts to bond and mate. Then again, if anyone learned about his inability to fight his primitive urges, they would most likely reprimand him for having lost control and dishonored his duty.

“What?” the empress asked, not understanding what Yuki was trying to tell her. “Fated mates?” There was shock in her words when she repeated what Inaho’s sister had said. “Are you sure, Miss Kaizuka?”

It was not a surprise the empress did not understand what his sister was saying. Fated mates were so rare, after all, that they were considered as romanticized fairytales. Inaho had had difficulties of understanding that as well; it had taken a long time before he had even noticed that perhaps the blond, who he had fought against for all this time, was more than just an enemy. He had only realized it just about two months ago, after having had Slaine locked up in this prison for four months.

“I am, Your Highness,” the woman continued behind the brunet – determined. “My brother has suffered greatly from this and battled his instincts bravely, just like Troyard has as well. That is why I want to ask for your blessing on their behalf; it is already too late to separate them, and I believe you have your proof right in front of you.” She took a deep breath, and said: “They don’t want to be apart from each other.”

The corridor went silent once more with the fated mates in the center of everyone’s attention. The truth that had been said lay heavily on everyone’s mind, and Inaho felt his heartbeat speed up from nervousness now that everyone who mattered knew about him and Slaine.

The blond clung to him for protection, holding him tightly around his neck and pushed his tired body against the brunet’s that Inaho could feel his pulse through their clothes. According to his hammering pulse, Slaine was terrified.

‘ _I’ll protect you_ ,’ the brunet thought while feeling the precious sensation of someone else’s body in his arms, before looking up at the empress just in time to see her take another step toward him and Slaine and watch them with astonishment. ‘ _I won’t let you have him_ ,’ he then thought as their eyes met. Seylum reached out a hand toward them when standing close enough to be able to touch them, and Inaho pulled Slaine slightly away from her, deeper into his embrace. ‘ _Don’t you dare touch him!_ ’ he thought and glared at the empress.

Both he and Slaine were afraid of her. She was the one with the highest authority in this building; not even UE dared to go against her in this kind of personal matter, Inaho was sure, as the peace between Earth and Vers was still fragile – a wobbling newborn not ready to stand strong without support just yet. This meant there was nothing to protect the fated mates from her if she decided to take Slaine with her anyway.

No alpha could say no to an omega, as omegas were so rare. She needed children with her blood in their veins to keep the activation factor for Aldnoah alive, and even though she could get any omega she wished, Inaho knew she would prefer the one in his arms, as they had been childhood friends before madness had torn them apart.

‘ _But he doesn’t want you_ ,’ he thought and watched the empress’s disorientation, like she was trying to comprehend the situation to the best of her abilities. She seemed to calculate and think of reasons for whatever she thought about, which alarmed the brunet. ‘ _What are you thinking about?_ ’ he wondered and felt Slaine’s slender fingers grip his blazer from the intensity of waiting for her answer. His heart fluttered again at feeling his mate’s movements, reminding him of what a precious rarity he held in his arms. ‘ _There’s no one like him, I’m sure you know that, because that’s why you want him too_.’

The silence stretched on forever it seemed, before the empress withdrew her hand and took a deep breath. She seemed to finally understand the truth about them being fairytale creatures as she stared into the young and desperate alpha’s glare with a look that told him the truth had settled in her mind. She knew Inaho would not let her take Slaine away, and she also knew it was already too late to separate the fated mates as they would most likely live with heartbreak for the rest of their lives as they had already gotten to know the other’s touch. Such was the nature of fated mates – with the bond forming in different stages, and it had begun to grow long before either him or Slaine had been aware of it:

The blond’s voice over the radio and broadcasts during the war had made Inaho curious of him, made him want to accept Seylum’s request to save the blond at the end of the war about half a year ago. Then, the eyes he had met on the beach the same night had made him realize there was something important in the proud young man who had been sitting in front of him with a serene smile while pointing to his head to say “ _Kill me_ ”. It had made him horribly curious of who this young man truly was.

When it had come to light the same young man who he had captured on the beach was an omega, the revelation of it and the fact that he was his fated mate had blown him off his feet – forced him to succumb to a desperate longing. The omega’s kiss and touch had then sealed his fate, making Inaho want to bond with him more than anything, and now – with his mate finally in his arms and wanting him – he was helplessly in need of the other; he could not breathe without him as – at this moment – Slaine had become his everything.

If he was taken away from him now, his heart would burst. Unlike the bond between a fated pair, he would survive the heartbreak, but Inaho was sure he would fall into a pit of depression and probably never recover.

If Seylum truly cared about them both, she would want to protect both of them from the kind of fate that would suffocate their souls and hearts.

“To think…” she whispered and stared at them both, still with disbelief in her eyes even though she had understood the situation. “The two of you were fated mates. All this time…” She took a deep breath and her eyelashes became wet with tears that lingered on her waterline without falling. “Oh, Inaho!” she then exclaimed quietly. “Did I curse you that day I asked you to save him, or did I do you a favor?”

Inaho felt his mate’s arms tighten around him once more, and he was sure the empress’s words had hurt him.

“Neither,” the brunet answered, not allowing the empress to think she had anything to do with them finding each other; he would not grant her such an honor; not because he disliked her, but because he was protective. “You didn’t do a thing, Seylum. I was the one to accept your request as I was already curious about him. I could have turned you down and killed him as there was no need for me to honor your request that day; your request was rather an opportunity to satisfy my curiosity about him, and that’s why I accepted it. You have nothing to do with us wanting to bond.”

Seylum stared at the brunet with surprise of hearing how honest he was toward her. He knew his words hurt her just like hers had hurt Slaine, but he did not care as he was too occupied with protecting his mate’s honor – even from Seylum whom he had considered a dear friend, and still did even though she was a rival until he had got to bond with Slaine; only a bond would eliminate her as a threat. It was just that the blond mattered more to him right now, and he did not hesitate to take his side.

“How insolent, Kaizuka!” the warden exclaimed, but Seylum silenced the man with a mere gesture with her hand, holding it up toward him without turning to look at him.

“You shall not talk to Kaizuka or Troyard that way. You have done enough damage by allowing torture within these walls,” she warned him, and his face turned as pale as a ghost’s. “I would have done this once I had taken Troyard away from here, but as the situation has changed drastically I will assist you resign from your post in this prison, with immediate effect.” Her voice sounded harsher than Inaho had ever heard her before; she had grown the past six months that she had shouldered the heavy responsibility of an empress. “Once I have spoken to your superiors to properly understand the torture you and UE has subjected Troyard to, I shall have you stand before the court in Vers.”

The warden staggered back from absolute shock and stared at her with wide eyes, and satisfaction poured through the brunet. It seemed to reach Slaine as well, allowing him to relax in Inaho’s embrace just slightly.

“Your Highness,” Yuki hurried to say, surprised by the turn of events. “Who will govern the prison from now on? Without anyone in charge, the administration of this prison will become chaotic.”

“Worry not, Yuki,” Seylum said and turned toward the anxious woman. “I will talk to the UE and protect Slaine’s and Inaho’s future.”

Protect their future… In other words, she had accepted their wish to bond with each other. Even if Inaho knew she was kind and gentle – always wishing for people to be happy – his jealousy had made him doubt her and see her as a rival. She had nearly taken Slaine away from him after all. As her words calmed his burning emotions, he came to appreciate her just like in the past; as someone he had an attachment to; an important friend who was close to family.

“Slaine…” she then said quietly and directed her eyes to the blond prisoner clutching around the brunet’s neck. “I must apologize. You have gone through so much and finally found a place to be, and I nearly took you away from it. After everything that has happened between us, I am sure you could not refuse my request to come with me to Vers, and I believe I did not give you a fair choice as I did not have your guilt in consideration. You accepted because of guilt, believing you owed me to come with me, am I correct?”

“H-Her Highness knew…?” Slaine’s trembling voice said against Inaho’s ear.

“Now that I see the real situation in front of me,” she said with empathy pouring out of her with each word, just like Inaho remembered was characteristic of her wonderful self. “Of course I do. Even though we have grown so much since we were children, I believe the passionate little boy, who always looked out for what he thought was best for me, has left his mark on you as an adult.”

Slaine released Inaho’s neck, slowly and hesitantly, and they exchanged a glance before the blond turned to look toward the empress. He was crying and sniveled.

“Your Highness,” Slaine whispered, but Seylum was quick to correct him just like she had done to Inaho two days ago when they had spoken over the satellite phone:

“You needn’t be so formal with me, Slaine.”

“You Highness,” the pitiful blond insisted, like she was trying to tell her something by refusing to call her by her name, and then bravely dried away tears from his cheeks. “The boy you knew is gone,” he continued and took a deep breath. “He grew up just as you have grown from the little girl you were. I believe you have noticed it as well, but we cannot relate to each other like we used to. Despite that, we are afraid to let the other go, as we both think we owe it to each other to preserve an old relationship. I … don’t think we … should … be that cruel…”

Inaho looked up at the empress and saw her expression change as the blond went quiet. She knew what Slaine spoke about and seemed to understand him perfectly well. With a frown of emotional pain contorting her beautiful lines in her countenance, she knelt on the floor in front of Slaine with hands neatly resting in her lap, and nodded.

“I know,” she whispered. “I have noticed. I noticed it the day I confronted you about the war on your moon base. You have grown so much since we spent our days on end with each other as children. You have grown into a young man and shaken off the shackles that bound you to me in the past.”

Listening to them slowly forming their farewells like this gave the brunet a feeling of awe. He admired how grown the both of them were, to face such a tragic end to a relationship he knew had meant everything to Slaine – enough to make him fight an interplanetary war out of love for her. As they had spoken to each other earlier in the interrogation room, Inaho had thought something had been off with how they had spoken to each other.

The way they had sounded to him, as he had been listening, was like they had spoken with forced friendliness. It had been awkward and strange, like they had been speaking to ghosts – revealing how attached they had been to each other as children. Now, he understood they had spoken to their past selves, as – now – they spoke to each other like the strangers they were. It was tragic to listen to; Seylum was probably the only person Slaine had gotten a successful attachment to in his entire life, and now he was forced to give it up because the world did not agree with them being close.

“You have always been so complicated, Slaine – so simple and yet so complicated…” Seylum said and gave him a weak smile. “You have been so careful with me, always cheering me up and even gave me the hope of peace between our worlds. Now, however, you have matured from looking out for me, as I believe you have someone else who deserves your otherworldly devotion.”

Slaine released a silent sob and dried his tears again with the sleeve of his sweater, and then gasped with a whimper:

“Please know that I never cared about either of our worlds as I cared for you, Your Highness. You were always on my mind, always protecting me with the memories I was allowed to build with you.” Seylum’s tears finally fell from the blond’s heartfelt declaration. “That was enough to keep me alive and breathing, and I thank you for saving me every day in the corridors and halls of Castle Cruhteo with these memories. Because of them, I kept on surviving despite what was being done to me.”

“Slaine…!” Seylum whimpered, like she begged him to be silent, and brushed tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand. “I am so very sorry I could not protect you.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” the blond cried with shoulders shaking. “You never will, Your Highness, as I wish to remember you as the innocent girl who looked at me with neutral eyes, oblivious about me being an omega,” he continued. “Had you known about my second sex back then, I am afraid the memories of you would have never come to be the way they are now.”

“Did I taint them when I asked you to help me and Klancain with heirs?” she whispered, but Slaine did not answer; his silence was enough as an answer.

Both of them went silent for a while and lingered in their unspoken thoughts. The silence was heavy with grief and apologies that neither of them decided to put into words as it would not serve any meaning. They knew they had grown apart, and they had said their farewells. There was nothing more that needed to be said.

“Good luck,” Seylum finally said and looked at the blond with a smile. “I will protect you from afar from now on as you move forward with Inaho, who will protect you by walking beside you. You will find that he is a door that never closes – always capable and ready to face anything that threatens you both once you have bonded.” She moved closer, reaching out her hands to take the blond’s into them, and Inaho felt a sudden need to intervene as the jealousy threatened to kick up at storm within him again. He stayed put and watched as Slaine flinched but did not pull away; the blond let her touch him and squeeze his hands. She then looked at him with the kind eyes Inaho had seen countless of times. “And once you are ready – if you ever will, that is up to you – then I want to get to know the new you, Slaine, just as I want you to know the new me. Let us not force the past upon ourselves and look to the future for friendship instead.”

“Y-Your Highness…” the blond whispered and looked at her without blinking.

Seylum’s kind expression turned into a warm smile, and a small blush crept over her cheeks.

“To think you are one of the rare lucky ones to find their fated mate,” she said brightly and looked between the two young men. “Congratulations to both of you. I am so envious. I would have wished for my fairytale to become true as well.”

She let go of Slaine’s hands that slumped back into the blond’s lap, and then looked at Yuki and Inaho, saying.

“I shall speak to UE immediately, as I think there is no time to waste, and I shall also leave a couple of my guards here to make sure nothing unwelcome occurs. Once I have spoken to the leaders of UN, I shall contact you immediately to let you know how things proceed.”

“Very well,” Inaho answered, and Seylum gave him a firm nod.

“Take care of him now,” she then said, and the brunet nodded back.

αβΩ

No words could be said while he watched her leave with her beautiful golden hair swaying behind her. To think she had invited him back into her life in the future when he felt ready, to get to know her once more. It was a grand gesture of her considering everything that he had done to her, and he was happy – even if a strange sensation of reluctance pulsed within him; after saying his farewell to the girl she had been, to finally have let her go, he felt like he could live without her now, making her kind invitation somewhat uninteresting.

Despite that, he felt grateful to her for forgiving him in a heartbeat, and he decided to make her proud one day; to make amends to all his wrongs toward her by giving her something back; she did not expect anything from him for his crimes except for living, and he would cherish the second chance he got and live – for as long as he could.

“Slaine,” he heard the brunet say behind him, asking for his attention, and the blond stiffened somewhat as he was reminded of him finally accepting Inaho as his mate. A loud thud echoed in his chest for an instant.

With a heavy breath, the blond sighed:

“You want to get on with it?” He turned his head to look over his shoulder at the brunet watching him. “Bonding, that is.”

“Do you?” the other asked, and Slaine let the answer wait for a while as he tried to figure out what he wanted.

To bond… To belong to someone… He had feared it for so long, always thought of it as cruel and unjust. Now, as he had promised to bond with the brunet, he could feel the expectations on him crawl closer; Inaho expected him to want to get it done with, to remove the what-ifs and buts of becoming his bonded mate as quickly as possible. The blond could see the longing in his eyes as they looked at each other. How could he give himself up like this to the brunet? It was such a large step to take, and he also knew he probably had no choice; if he did not bond with him, he could not be protected properly. To be exclusively his would serve as protection from other alphas – not just the political tentacles threatening to squeeze every drop of blood out of him – but he feared the bond more than he feared for his life.

Or…

‘ _No, that’s not true!_ ’ he though and felt indecisive. ‘ _I want to live. I have to live! I’m just scared, that’s all!_ ’

“I’m still bleeding,” the omega decided to say in order to figure out what the brunet thought of what time and moment they should bond.

“I don’t mind,” the other answered to the blond’s dismay; Slaine had hoped for him to postpone their bonding for a later time. He wanted to procrastinate it as much as possible out of nervousness, just so he could collect his courage – like he had done before seeing Asseylum. He felt so small and pitiful that all he could do was to try hiding; he was nothing like his past self as Count Saazbaum Troyard, who had been decisive in his ways. “But before you decide what to do I think we should get some privacy,” Inaho continued.

It was a good idea. Slaine wished not to be intimately omega in front of everyone; to let them see his raw nature of an omega by watching him being marked and bonded to an alpha. It was outrageous and offensive to let anyone else see him in the state he would fall into once Inaho bit his neck. He was not sure how he would react once they were enough incited by heat to bond, and he wished for the terrifying moment of the bite to be hidden; to be bitten in a safe and private place with only him and his soon-to-be bonded mate.

The blond obeyed and gratefully followed the brunet and his sister toward whatever room they decided to take him to. The bewildered and former warden and his guards were left behind in the corridor, left to deal with their sudden unemployment by themselves, and the Versian guards expertly moved into position to guard the building from anyone unauthorized who tried to enter.

Slaine was shown into the personnel room with the television, and he wondered if it was strategically chosen because of the couch. He could not help but to think about the threats that possibly surrounded him. Inaho wanted to bond with him, which also meant he wanted to mate with him. Slaine was expected to perform like an obedient omega – or so the blond thought.

It was difficult to calm down now that the moment of bonding was so close, and his mind went haywire because he knew nothing of who the brunet actually was as an individual. All he knew was the little he had bothered to learn while the rest was a complete mystery, and he also knew it was his own fault as he had previously rejected Inaho’s tries to get a conversation going with him.

‘ _But I have to bond with him…_ ’

When he took a couple of hesitant steps into the room, feeling like he was knowingly walking straight into a dangerous trap, Inaho closed the door behind him. The instant the omega heard the door close he turned around to look at the other to make sure he would at least be warned before being jumped. The startle shot through him, making all his nerves stand on edge. Inaho did not move from where he stood, leaning his back against the door behind him and watched the blond with a somewhat impatient and serious air around him.

“What do you want to do?” he asked, and Slaine took a deep breath and backed a couple of steps away from him.

“I don’t know…” the blond murmured, wrapping his pale arms around himself to make sure his body was still his.

“I know what you think about the bond,” Inaho said carefully, watching the omega with great care before he turned his gaze away to give the blond some room to breathe, saying: “But as I told you, I won’t treat you like a trophy. I also understand that this is not easy for you, as you have been taught to fear the bond. I would be lying if I said that I have all the patience in the world, but I do respect you – and so I tell you to take your time no matter what I say or do; I won’t bite you until you let me.”

Slaine bit his lower lip. He was not sure he liked the other to know about what he thought about bonding after snooping in his notebook, but it also gave him a sense of relief because there was no need for him to explain anything. Why were things this complicated, he wondered? Why could he just not give in and bond with the brunet? They were fated mates after all. It should not have needed to be this difficult to accept the other.

‘ _But I’m so scared… You’re an alpha!_ ’

“I…” the omega mumbled and followed Inaho example by averting his gaze from the other. “It’s really difficult for me,” he continued, hesitantly. “You have the same qualities…” He made a pause and thought things through, if he should say it or not, but then decided to be honest: “… as my abusers. No matter how much I try to ignore it, I cannot escape you being an alpha. It puts fear in me.”

“I know,” Inaho answered straight forwardly, not denying what Slaine said. The blond was somewhat lost for a moment as he was surprised by how easily Inaho accepted his truth, and he was surprised some more as Inaho summarized the blond’s life narration from his time as a fallen omega: “You were born barefoot and innocent into this world, but your innocence as a child was ripped from you by monsters. The world rumbled around you each time an alpha held you. You cried with subdominant songs when they squished you beneath their weight, and you fell into delirious fever stress after each heat because of them. Your mouth was exhausted and numbed from all the begging and crying, and then you forgot how to cry.”

Slaine released an involuntary whimper and pushed the palms of his hands against his eyes. Tears streamed down his cheeks yet again, and he sobbed – desperately trying to suffocate his voice that threatened to burst out from inside his throat. He wanted to be brave. Now, as he was to be marked, he wanted to be brave and face it like a young man. But … He felt so lost. His body was filled with turmoil, and all he could do was to cry in hopes of someone finding pity on him.

“An alpha embodies all the injustice in the world,” Slaine cried silently and swallowed down the thickness gathering in his throat. “All the wars are fought under the directive of alphas. The world is mad for looking up to such beings! When they were alone with me, they did so many horrible crimes against me that I feel like detonating from all the grief just by thinking about it. They’re nothing but animals when they get their hands on an omega! They found so many different ways to abuse me that I can’t even count them all, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin.” The volume of his voice increased with each sentence he spoke, until he began to crumble entirely, and cried out loudly from fearful sorrow: “I can still feel it and taste it – all the blood, cum, tears, urine, feces and sticky hot limbs and sweaty hands and bodies! I can still recall the hopelessness when I drank the water they offered, knowing full well it was drugged to make me squeak and cry a little less! And I can still recall the strange relief as I drank it, knowing it would numb my pain and make the abuse easier on me too!”

“Slaine-“ Inaho began, but the omega shook his head and refused to listen:

“They did not treat me like a toy; they were much crueler than that! They knew I was a living creature, capable of feeling pain and fear – a human being who was supposed to scream and cry for their pleasure! And when I looked too pitiful, they put a hood over my head so they needn’t see my expression and could continue with a clear conscience! It hurts to remember! I hate that I have to remember because that’s all my life is about! And now I’m supposed to accept you – an alpha – as my mate!” He inhaled a shaky breath, and then cried like a child: “I’m so sorry…! I’m just so scared.”

While he was busy crying, Inaho moved toward him without him knowing. Warm hands landed on his wrists and the omega stiffened and held his breath as he was not prepared for the sudden touch and closeness. His legs began to tingle with the need to run, and he became hyper focused on the other’s sounds and touch.

“’At times the boy decided to hold his breath – bravely refusing to cry or beg – while secretly craving for someone to love him to death’,” Inaho said quietly, repeating the blond’s own words from his poem that he seemed to have memorized, leaning closer to Slaine’s face hiding beneath weak hands. “You don’t have to hold your breath anymore, Slaine, nor do you have to cry against your hands. I know you are afraid, but you have to understand I’m not going to hurt you.”

Hearing this, an overwhelming sensation coursed through him and the blond’s wavering resistance finally collapsed. Slowly, he released his breath and leaned against the brunet’s shoulder, his face still covered with his hands, and when Inaho’s hands carefully stroked up over the trembling arms and shoulders to reach the vulnerable being’s back, Slaine finally lowered his hands and soaked the brunet’s shirt with tears while gripping the blazer tightly – allowing himself to take support from someone else. There they stood as if time stood still, one of them offering support while the other depended on it being supplied without expectations to pay for it later.

It was strange. Again, for the third time in two months, he found himself in the comforting arms of someone else. The embrace was not sexual or greedy; it simply wished to give him as much comfort as he wanted to take. Inaho’s body heat warmed him up slowly, and the blond was reminded about the late Harklight who had held him whenever Slaine had demanded it, lusting after the omega who impersonated an alpha. He wondered briefly if the young beta’s soul had found peace before he began thinking about the differences in his and Inaho’s way of holding him – desperately trying to orientate in this confusing and storming moment by finding reference points from his past that could be even slightly similar.

They were similar in the sense that both of their embraces offered and had offered an endless source of comfort; it was embedded in the way their arms wrapped and had wrapped around the blond; it was just there, somewhere undefinable. Inaho and Harklight were also similar in how warm it was and had been, reminding the omega about the humanity they both harbored and had harbored. What was different, however, was something very small and barely noticeable. While Harklight had held Slaine as someone higher up in the hierarchy – with admiration and frantic hope to be acknowledged as a lover despite being aware the feelings were only one-sided – Inaho embraced him like an equal. There was no desperation in his gesture. It was simply pure, devoid of all the anxious wishes to be allowed to become his mate.

‘ _My mate…_ ’ Slaine thought and gathered the feelings of longing he had felt earlier when he had decided to run to Inaho. Calm came over him as the other’s arms soothed him, and his erratic emotions were replaced with peace as he discovered it was perfectly safe to depend on the brunet. ‘ _My fated mate…_ ’

“What are you thinking?” the brunet asked after a while, and Slaine took a weak breath and whispered:

“If I should let you mark me now or not… It’ll make us into a family right here and now.”

“Do you not want to?” his fated mate asked, and Slaine shook his head.

“It’s not that,” he whispered.

“Because it’s frightening?”

Slaine chuckled tiredly:

“I would have run away screaming, but it’s been a long day.” Then he inhaled and felt a good portion of the other’s scent fill his nostrils. “A family is the people you choose to put your time and effort in and live intimately with, and not automatically the unit that you’re born into. Asseylum taught me that after I had lived with my maddened father for so long,” he then whispered quietly. “Building a family is a difficult thing to do, as those that are included in it have to want to put time and effort into it as well and dedicate their lives to help spinning the world.” He hesitated for a little while, but then finished his pathetic whisper: “You promised we’ll make this work somehow. Do you remember that?”

“I do,” Inaho answered honestly. “And I’ll honor it.”

A smile spread on his lips from hearing the promise being said again, and the same kind of warmth spread in him like the last time the brunet had spoken the precious words of making their bond work. Even with the feeling of vulnerability lingering, he still felt happy to hear kind promises from his fated mate.

Then again, they could be empty words for all he knew – just like the words of desperate and frenzied alphas who wanted him to be heavy with their children – and he had to be careful to avoid being deceived. This made him nervous, if not anxious and afraid once more. Sudden thoughts like this had a tendency to always make him feel alarmed.

‘ _Calm down!_ ’ he scolded his heart and mind, hoping for them to find peace.

In order to pull through this trying moment of bonding with the other, Slaine had to turn his fear and anxiety into something else, which ended up being aggressiveness. Then, to prevent himself from hesitating too much, he decided to take a deep breath of the other’s smell and let it affect him; to let the heat it slowly awakened to run its course.

The young alpha’s scent did not feel threatening, unlike the scents of the others who had abused him. Inaho’s scent was special and pleasant – so much that Slaine took a deep breath of it as it reached his nose from the crook of the brunet’s neck. It was still warm from the other’s body heat as he breathed it in, and it reached his brain and jumbled every thought into a ravel. Another deep breath served to muddle his mind – like it was suddenly filled with tar – and made everything come to a stop as his instincts took over, and he slowly raised his head a little and moved his lips and nose closer to the brunet’s neck.

“What is it?” Inaho asked while his hands continued caressing the blond over his back to comfort him, unknowing of what was going on within the omega.

Slaine could not answer as he had ceased to be a rational human. Instead, he brushed his lips against the warm skin on his fated mate’s neck, and found that he liked how it felt and became curious of how it tasted. He gave it a gentle peck with soft lips to test it out, and then another. The young alpha’s hands stopped rubbing his back, and he stood obediently still and waited for Slaine to continue his exploration. As the blond felt the slightly salty taste of the other’s neck, he felt a thrill shoot down his spine that caused a tingle to wake up in his loins. To taste it again, he licked it again, this time lapping his tongue softly and slowly, like a feline enjoying the taste of blood on a kill.

Inaho seemed to sense the shift in the atmosphere as he grew stiff, like he was feeling nervous. Slaine paid it no mind, secretly remembering the brunet was going to have sex for the first time, and continued licking and kissing the brunet’s neck, slowly and more aggressively.

“Hagh!” his prey gasped as the omega finally chewed down on his neck to suck on his flesh, and grazed it with his teeth – leaving a bright red and angry mark.

The gasp spun his mind into a whirlwind and the blond released the brunet’s blazer and ran his hands down his sides and then around to the back. One hand climbed up the young alpha’s back and neck, buried the slender fingers into the tousled brown hair, and the other hand fingered playfully at the waistband of his trousers, wanting to dive inside them and squeeze the fleshy buns beneath it.

“Slaine…” Inaho whispered, trying to pull away, but the omega took an iron grip around him and refused to let go.

If they were to bond, then it was now or never.

When Inaho tried pushing away from the blond again, Slaine grabbed his hair and pulled his head back to glare at him with a warning. He disapproved of the other trying to resist him. They stared at each other for a while but the brunet soon lowered his stare in submission, knowing the omega would not let him go. Instead, he tried to pull his hands over the blond’s body to feel him up, but Slaine refused by smacking them way.

When Inaho understood his command and obeyed by resting his hands on the blond’s shoulders, Slaine continued to lick, bite and suck on his neck. Then, to explore some more, he licked the shell of the brunet’s ear, from the earlobe and all the way to the top, leaving a wet trail where he licked. An obvious shiver ran through the young alpha’s body, which quivered momentarily in his arms, and then he released a sultry gasp when Slaine attacked the earlobe again to suck on it.

“Hahh!” the blond heard right next to his ear, and felt the brunet’s hands grip his shoulders tighter. “Slaine… Wait.”

“What?” the omega purred and attacked his ear once more with a hot whisper: “Don’t you want to?”

“I need to know,” the brunet answered and tried to push him away again, but Slaine did not let him. “Are you sincere about this?”

This woke the omega up from the predatory state and made him realize that perhaps the brunet was afraid of being ruthlessly rejected once more after being lured into a trap, just like Slaine had done two nights ago. What the blond had done back then had been insulting and malicious, and it was no wonder the brunet reacted with uncertainty now that Slaine behaved just like he had done that night.

To give the brunet a moment to collect his thoughts, Slaine released him and took a step back and lowered his gaze. Suddenly, his arms felt horribly empty.

“I promise I won’t reject you this time,” Slaine said quietly with shame, his loins still tingling. “It’s just that … now that I’m bleeding, I would like us to keep our clothes on but still do what he have to do to form a bond.”

Inaho eyed him for a while, and then said:

“I understand. Then show me what to do so I won’t hurt you.”

Such innocent words… They made him weak in the knees, and the omega moved back and bumped his back against the wall to find support and lowered his head from his heart beating with loud thumps. Never had an alpha ever bothered to touch him in a way that would make him feel good, which made the brunet’s request a blessing.

“I will…” the omega whispered, and Inaho stepped up to him and put a gentle hand beneath Slaine’s chin to raise his head up.

There was heat in the brunet’s eye.

“Teach me what to do to you,” the other whispered while Slaine gazed into his burgundy eye looking back at him with intensity growing for each beat of the heart.

The omega took a deep breath to calm down and then closed his eyes and nodded. If he could, he had to stay away from becoming aggressive as it would only remind the other of his inexperience in intimate moments like this. Instead of continuing his previous antagonistic escapade, he reached out and kissed the young alpha – pressing their lips tightly together.

Immediately, Inaho complied and kissed him back with somewhat stale lips.

It was awkward at first as the brunet seemed quite focused on what was going to happen, and Slaine wondered for a short while if the other was nervous because of his first shared sexual experience coming nearer. He also pondered quickly on what to do with a virgin like this; he had never taken anyone’s virginity before; even Harklight had been somewhat experienced with beta women. Inaho was precious in that sense; he was yet to become a mating alpha and the responsibility lay on Slaine to make him into someone confident; the blond wished for a partner who could mate with confidence and not someone who was insecure of what to do to him.

In other words, he should be encouraging now to have a confident mate tomorrow; to show his mate exactly what he liked and how he should do it and prompt him to explore his and Inaho’s own sexuality – if only his reason would last that far into a heat. He had to swallow his pride and let the brunet have control while being guided by the blond until the end. If Slaine only took from him what he wanted, Inaho would not be allowed to discover anything himself and become passive, and Slaine would hate that once in heat.

First, they kissed carefully, barely nibbling at each other’s lips, but then they proceeded to slowly build up a thrilling anticipation by opening their lips slightly with each kiss, until they dared to coil their tongues around each other’s to mix their saliva while their breaths mingled hotly in between. Inaho tasted good, which encouraged the blond to want to kiss him deeper. He raised his arms slowly and put them over Inaho’s shoulders to draw him nearer, and the brunet complied.

The alpha’s body pushed against the omega’s, forcing his back tighter against the wall behind him. Slaine released a surprised gasp by the sudden closeness, but instantly locked his lips against Inaho’s once more as his lips felt too lonely without the other’s.

“Touch me,” the omega gasped quickly between their kisses, and his skin tingled all over as he felt the young alpha’s hands begin creeping up inside the omega’s sweater while they continued licking each other’s tongues, making wet noises as they did.

The moment Inaho’s palms landed firmly on his skin, Slaine trembled and felt a heat begin to grow. His loins tingled all the more for each breath he took while his lips were sealed against the other’s, and he finally pushed his groin against the brunet’s. He was not sure if his body was lubricating as he could only feel a wetness that could be either blood or secretion, but he could sense the slow swelling in his crotch and in the fleshy walls within him. He could also hint the body making room for a cock to push into him by his womb being raised inside his belly; opening up his body for the other. His pulse hammered in his fingertips and between his legs, and he began to sweat.

His body was clearly preparing to mate with the other.

“Mmh,” he heard Inaho gasp from the unexpected touch to his groin, and their closeness shrunk even more as he pushed tighter up against Slaine, forcing a breath out of the omega. The alpha was already hard.

Slaine could not move his head now that he was pinned against the wall, nor could he move his hips properly now that his loins were slowly being set ablaze; he wanted to hump against the other.

“Hahh…!” he gasped when his lips were released for just a breath as his stomach was tingling from thrill, before he was instantly attacked by the other’s lips once more.

Their kisses grew needy, and their tongues invaded each other’s mouths with force rather than from curiosity now that they had discovered it felt good to rub them together, and their lips began to drip from excess saliva. Slaine licked it up greedily, swallowing it down as though he was thirsty, and shivers attacked his spine over and over again as his mouth was invaded by his fated mate’s taste, his nose filled with his scent, and his ears attacked by his heated sounds. His skin prickled, making the hairs stand on end while Inaho’s confidence to touch him grew, and his loins finally burned with teasing heat and his ass begged to be penetrated. His dick was rock hard, oozing with clear liquid and wetting his underwear at the front, and it did not take long until he was so wet between the legs it began dripping down his thighs as the pad and underwear were soaked.

“Inaho…!” he gasped desperately to release some of the heat within him, pouring it out into the brunet’s mouth with his breath before instantly chasing the other’s tongue again to suck on it. He parted his lips wide and pushed them against the other’s; he enjoyed having the other’s flesh in his mouth.

He raised his left leg and hooked it behind his fated mate’s, opening up his crotch some more for the other’s touch. Then he reached his hands down to their pants and played with the button preventing his hand from diving after Inaho’s hot skin beneath. The young alpha did no resistance as Slaine opened up the button and pulled down the fly, but he released a surprised groan as Slaine’s fingers skillfully pushed all the fabric away and brushed the naked skin on his cock. The tip was firm from the hardness, making Slaine’s mind spin and his stomach was tortured by electric shocks from his insides screaming for the cock in his hand.

“Aah…!” he heard his fated mate gasp and felt his hips begin moving just slightly, begging the omega to touch him more.

He was falling into a heat.

“Here,” the blond commanded sultrily and grabbed Inaho’s right hand with his left and put it against the waistband of his sweatpants. “Touch me too.”

Obediently, Inaho did as he was told and pulled the sweatpants down to the middle of Slaine’s thighs and then pulled the waistband of the underwear down enough to take the omega’s cock into his hand. A dangerously pleasant thrill and tingle attacked the blond’s body, making him shiver with delight from being touched like this. His nerves were burning with wondrous stimuli, as shocks of electricity increased in strength in the pit of his stomach from someone else rubbing his needy flesh for him; it was rare for anyone to touch him this way.

“Haagh!” Slaine cried out at the precious touch, and he curled his fingers firmly around Inaho’s hardened flesh as well and began pumping it gently.

Their breaths mingled as their gasps brushed the other’s cheeks. Their hips moved rhythmically, pumping their need into their hands while they moaned with lips locked against each other’s. Inaho pinned the blond against the wall a little too tightly, restricting the omega’s thrusting a little – enough to coax forth a horribly desperate and frustrated need to turn aggressive and take control. Slaine wanted to thrust his cock into the brunet’s hand to seek out as much pleasure as possible in his own rhythm, but it was difficult like this.

Inaho’s hand was so warm and gentle, and it was clumsy too at first. Despite his inexperience, he was quick to catch on to Slaine’s technique as the blond showed on him what he liked him to do, and soon Slaine’s spine was burning with pleasure despite the restricted room of movement he had. Pre-cum leaked out of both of their cocks, wetting their hands and made their handjobs easier by lubricating their sensitive skin, and Slaine finally began to feel a strange sense of unity with his fated mate; he wanted only do this with him. No one else’s touch would be acceptable as he wanted no one else but Inaho to touch him, and to finally feel the alpha’s hands around his throbbing and needy cock made his head spin with the instincts to mate.

He wanted to mindlessly make a child.

This awakened a horrible tingle on his neck, so harsh it itched like an angry mosquito bite, and he noticed he was about to lean his head to the side when he was the most delirious. He wanted to be marked; he wanted to expose his vulnerability to the other and become his prey by letting him attack him and then succumb to his bite. It would make the brunets lips and hands feel more pleasurable than now, he believed.

“My teeth…” the brunet suddenly gasped, and Slaine raised his free hand into the brown hair and pulled the other’s head back to look at his fated made. Inaho had a heavy blush on his cheeks and stared at the blond with an eye glazed over like that of an alpha in heat; Slaine could recognize the look from a quick glance as it had been etched into the marrow of his bones after seeing it countless of times. “They itch…” Inaho continued gasping, like he was trying to hold himself back.

This was the moment the omega should present his neck to him – allow him to bite him to mark him. The omega was sure he would be ready to accept the mark, but he still had to accept the bite itself. They stood still for a short while as the omega readied himself for what had to be done.

A small voice told him to not bother resisting at all and just give in, that this was his fate and meaning in life, and he found himself lose to this voice quite easily. His instincts ran wild as he lost his reason to the heart’s demands, and – with a nod – he gasped lustfully, a voice dripping with delirious passion:

“Bond with me.”

The aggressive nature of an alpha awoke in the brunet in an instant, and he let go of Slaine’s cock and pushed him forcefully against the wall to pin him to it by his shoulders. The omega released a surprised huff and was disoriented for a couple of seconds before he felt Inaho’s breath against his neck. Goosebumps exploded on his skin, and he began to tremble with anticipation. The itch on his neck increased and the world disappeared around him in strange pulsing waves. Only a bite could satisfy the itch, and he began to squirm with discomfort.

“T-turn around…” Inaho gasped when he managed to hold himself back for a short while.

“I told you I won’t reject you,” Slaine answered, momentarily less drunk on instincts after hearing Inaho speak. “I w-want to face you when you mark me.”

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, both holding their breaths as they understood this was the moment their fates would be entwined and bound to each other for all time. It was too late to back down; their instincts held them helplessly in place until the mark had been made, like they were held hostage by their own fate.

Then, a huff escaped Inaho’s lips as he could not hold back any longer. He leaned closer, and Slaine let him. Brown hair brushed Slaine’s lips and cheeks at his mate leaning past his face, and a wet sound attacked his right ear as the alpha parted his lips and opened his jaws – baring his teeth. The prickling on his skin grew intense, and even Slaine’s breaths shivered and trembled as his body was anticipating the bite, begging for it to chew down on his neck.

‘ _The bite…_ ’ he thought in a daze and leaned his head aside, exposing his neck. ‘ _The bite…! Give me the bite!_ ’

“HAAAGH!” the omega cried when teeth bore into his skin, right where it itched maddeningly – horribly. His body began quivering and, for a moment, he wanted to thrash in the other’s grip as it hurt. It felt like his cells were attacked by a toxin, slowly spreading from the bite and all the way out to his fingertips and toes. Then, his skin prickled enough it hurt – like thousand needles punctured it – and he howled as a warm wave coursed through him and made him feverish. “Aaagh!”

He was tense and tried to limply struggle, but Inaho’s body held him in place, disallowing him to escape. It was rather an instinct than a rational reaction to an emotion; his body knew it was assaulted, and it responded accordingly; like a captured wild animal. He released a huff as he strained and struggled, until he calmed down from the pain being strangely numbed. The alpha released a pleased breath as the omega began to turn obedient.

They stood like that, still for a while until Slaine began to relax some more. His sight was becoming unfocused the longer he stood in Inaho’s arms and felt his teeth against the sensitive spot on his neck. It was like his mind was giving up, allowing the other to make him his, like his nature of a frightened wild beast was slowly calming down while the alpha’s bite tamed him, and the tension was released when he finally gave in to the bite and let it run its course by relaxing entirely.

Once he had been weak for a short while, Inaho pushed their groins together and began rubbing their cocks between their bellies, and the pressure in his bite increased. Again, the omega cried out from pain before it was numbed, and then his cries turned into sultry gasps. His mind was nearly shattered and he panted for breath as something strange was taking over him, like he was slowly and willingly enslaved by the other – like he was anticipating it with terrible thrill. The brunet’s scent was changing, becoming all the more pleasant for each breath he took, until it overwhelmed the omega and made him whimper from desperate lust. The pheromones of his fated mate filled him to the brim with agonizingly sweet longing, and he wanted to mate properly.

A baby… He wanted a baby; _his_ baby. He wanted it so badly he was momentarily going insane.

Finally, they were bonding. He could feel it everywhere within him, all the way into his organs. It pulsed within him. It thrashed within him. It coiled and slithered everywhere and made him feel like he was healing from old wounds. Slowly, he was being patched up; all the holes others had torn on his being were being filled with his mate – sealing them up to make him whole, probably for the first time in his life.

His stomach was filled with fluttering butterflies, and his heart was making flips in the chest cavity from panic and joy from this new experience. His skin crawled with pleasant shivers and he wanted to merge himself with the brunet. It was painfully frustrating as he noticed their bodies were in the way, and he whimpered and moved his hips in desperation as best he could, rubbing his dick in the wetness and heat of the alpha’s leaking and swelling cock to feel more connected to his mate.

More… More. More! He needed more! He needed everything the brunet could give and wanted to be dirtied some more by his pre-cum and then his semen. It was an insatiable need that grew as he felt the slippery cock rub against his belly, just like his rubbed against Inaho’s. He wished he could look down and see it as they leaked onto each other, smearing the stickiness all over their bellies while pumping the sweet nectar out of each other by pushing their skin and groins hard together, creating a small and warm space their cocks could thrust into and be pleasured.

It was a mystery what went through Inaho’s mind at that point, but it seemed like his nature as an alpha had consumed him as he – by surprise – bit down even harder.

“AAHHGH!” the omega cried once more and finally clung to the brunet as he was about to collapse.

His body was sagging by this point as it gave in to the alpha’s command through the bite, and he nearly hung helplessly in the alpha’s grip, like a ragdoll. His head swam with the need to mate and instinctual wishes to make a baby with the young alpha. He wanted to lie down and spread his legs nice and wide for him and allow him to push the hot cock deep into him and make it thrust against his cervix where he would let it erupt and have it pump his precious womb full of cum as deeply as possible. He desperately hoped for the young alpha to throw him down against the floor and do whatever he wanted him with; Slaine would not mind at this point as he was in a full-blown heat.

The alpha – as inexperienced as he was – seemed unaware of what to do more than bite down onto the omega’s neck, like he was more interested in getting the itching in his teeth satisfied first before doing anything else. The much more experienced omega, on the other hand, had no patience, and he whimpered pathetically from need and tried to shove the alpha away from him to get a chance to calm his burning body. He wanted to be fucked so badly the aggressiveness he got during heats began to come back to him as it found through the desperation in his mind.

His hardened meat throbbed and pleaded for attention.

His muscles in the ass contracted painfully, trying to grip after something hard and solid to satisfy the flesh’s need to be plowed by an alpha’s cock.

His nipples were painfully stiff and erect.

His voice wanted to scream from sexual pleasure.

And – lastly – his body wanted the knot to plug his birth canal after being inseminated, to increase the chances of becoming pregnant with his mate’s baby.

‘ _I want a baby…_ ’ he thought, becoming all the dizzier from heat. ‘ _I want it…! Give it to me!_ ’

With a loud and animalistic growl, he finally gathered strength into his body as he became aggressive, and pushed the alpha away – interrupting the bonding before he would lose all of his power. Inaho’s teeth grazed his neck, ripping a hole in his skin, but the omega – frenzied from heat – could not bother about it and let it bleed. Instead, he stumbled and felt unsteady, holding on to the wall to regain strength in his legs, and then quickly grabbed the alpha by his shoulders and threw him to the side. Inaho stumbled and fell down on the floor, shocked and disoriented from the brutal handling he got right after being interrupted from the bonding. Immediately, Slaine dove on top of him while the brunet was waking up from the aggressiveness of a bonding alpha, and looked up at the blond the moment when he was attacked.

Slaine paid no regard to what went through the brunet’s still heat-affected mind, and instead ripped his blazer and shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere and bounced from the walls and floor, and the omega proceeded with pulling his own underwear down to the already pulled-down sweatpants, and exposed his needy hole. Then he straddled the brunet’s hips properly, gazing at him with bottomless hunger and grinned in victory.

“Slaine-!” Inaho exclaimed and stared at the blond with bewilderment.

He seemed uncertain of if he should fight the omega or not.

“Give it up, boy. I’m a fire you cannot tame,” Slaine purred and moved his hips into position and guided the young alpha’s stiff flesh to where he wanted it. The hot and sensitive tip of Inaho’s cock pushed against his opening, making a sudden gasp escape the brunet, who flinched and threw a nervous look down and then up at the omega again. “Let me burn you to the ground; I’ll make a proper alpha out of you,” he continued with a whisper and then dropped his hips.

His mate’s cock pushed inside him, all the way to the hilt; Slaine could feel the alpha’s balls press against his buttocks, and his eyes rolled back from the intense satisfaction to finally have something warm and solid filling him up. His hips quivered along with the pleasant shivers, and he released a lusty moan. Inaho on the other hand cried out from the surprising sensation of finally feeling an omega’s body for the first time:

“Oooohh… Mmh!”

The brunet threw his head back and gasped and moaned with parted lips. He seemed overwhelmed and disoriented, and Slaine watched him with great interest and satisfaction as he began to move his hips slowly. The alpha gritted his teeth and took a hold of Slaine’s thighs, completely consumed by pleasure.

“Mmmhh… Yeah…” the omega purred – drunk from carnal need as he felt the hard meat plow deep into his body and then slowly out again. He made sure to feel it properly by moving slowly, pumping it with great care to make sure the alpha felt every inch of his insides. Each time the alpha’s cock was pushed deep inside the omega, the brunet released a loud gasp as the flesh rubbed over his shaft, and Slaine chuckled pleased and asked obscenely: “You like that, alpha? Mmh…! How does an- Haahhh! … omega’s body feel like for the first time?”

Inaho was unable to answer. He breathed with hollow breaths and gripped the omega’s thighs tighter until nails scraped down the pale skin, leaving glowing red stripes on it, and the omega smiled wider. He felt like a bully as he moved his flesh slowly up and down the alpha’s shaft, and he wanted to put up an obscene display and expose his entire body to the alpha so he could see in great detail as his cock pushed into the omega:

The redness of the squeezed cock as it pushed inside… The glossy wetness and skin moving as it was pulled out… The omega’s hole being stretched by his size… The cock disappearing into the other’s body, and the omega’s skin bulging around the hole as the cock was pulled out, pulling at the skin. Slaine wanted him to see all of that to learn what two human bodies looked like in a moment like this, but his sweatpants and underwear were holding his legs together; he could not spread his knees to show the brunet.

Perhaps it was for the better. Blood had probably already stained the young alpha’s clothes, making it into a gory sight. Slaine, however, continued bouncing his body up and down over Inaho’s cock, letting it enter him harder and harder for each thrust as his moans, groans and gasps filled the room while a pleased smile played on his lips.

αβΩ

As he had been thrown to the floor, disoriented and shocked from what had unexpectedly happened, Inaho managed barely to come back to his reason before Slaine was already fondling him by pushing him down and preparing to swallow the young alpha’s hardened meat by pulling his underwear down his thighs while leaving Inaho’s trousers on. Had he been rejected again?, Inaho wondered with despair as he watched the suddenly aggressive blond with nervousness. Would he use him and toss him away?

The glare in Slaine’s prideful eyes was back – like the glare he had had when the omega had been in heat several weeks ago, like a willful cat. Inaho knew from observation how sexually aggressive the blond could be, and to finally face this lusting monster’s demanding stare at point-blank range shot shivers down the brunet’s spine.

He – for a moment – thought Slaine would eat him alive.

“Slaine-!” he exclaimed to communicate his fear and confusion, but he was not given a chance to speak:

“Give it up, boy. I’m a fire you cannot tame,” the blond said with a menacing smile while his fingers gently guided his hardness against the entrance of the omega’s body.

The brunet went stiff as he realized Slaine was going to take him here and now. He could feel the hot flesh between the omega’s legs kiss the tip of his cock. It was so hot compared to the cold air that the brunet flinched and gasped from shock before his cock was soaked by a warm liquid. Inaho threw instinctively a look down to see what was going on – even if he understood the situation perfectly well. Slaine’s pants were in the way, acting like a bind to hold his legs together and obscured the view. Instead, the young alpha held his breath as he felt like he was going to be devoured by the demon on top of him and turned his gaze up at the other. He was doing this for the first time after all, allowing his body to enter someone else’s, and to make things worse he saw the omega be perfectly pleased with his reaction.

Or … was it bad? A thrill was boiling within him as he was met by Slaine’s hot stare, and perhaps it was this thrill that made him feel on edge or flat out fearful? He had never felt this kind of thrill before in a real-life situation.

What would he do? He was completely inexperienced at this, and it felt like his theoretical knowledge of sex escaped him when he was in a critical moment like this. Never before had his mind been emptied like this, and it was somehow comical how he could be perfectly calm while risking his life but be completely lost when giving up his virginity.

“Let me burn you to the ground,” the demon purred voicelessly. “I’ll make a proper alpha out of you.”

Helplessly, and without a chance to plead for a moment to gather his senses, Slaine lowered his hips impatiently. The shock from feeling how his cock pushed through the opening that squeezed him tightly enveloped the brunet completely. The omega was so wet and hot inside that the brunet’s mind began to swim with mindboggling pleasure the further inside he was forced. When the omega’s buttocks pressed against his loins, he could feel his testicles being squeezed between his and Slaine’s body, softly being embedded between their skins. This sent a signal straight up to his brain from the unexpected stimuli, making his mind halt entirely for a brief second before he focused on the watching omega who loomed over him.

The omega towering above him closed his eyes and seemed to grow even more aggressive as he felt Inaho’s cock within him, making him shiver and release a hot moan that intoxicated the brunet’s body and soul; Inaho could feel the shiver all the way inside the omega by his fleshy walls squeezing him harder. It was like the squeeze forced a moan out of the brunet as it was sudden and slightly painful. The omega’s pelvic muscles were surprisingly strong.

“Oooohh… Mmh!” he cried out from surprise.

The moment of flesh meeting flesh was filled with such overwhelming pleasure the brunet threw his head back, raising his neck from the floor. He could also feel the blond’s stare burn against his cheeks, making him aware Slaine was watching his innocent reactions with delight. Then, just as Inaho had calmed down somewhat, the blond began to move his hips upward, dragging the lust out of the brunet with his strong muscles grabbing his cock without mercy, and reached all the way up to beneath the fleshy crown of the tip. Then, slowly and teasingly, he pushed Inaho back inside him, and then moved up again until he got a perfect rhythm, moving his hips in a snake-like motion.

Slaine knew what he wanted from him and how to take it, and he did not hesitate the slightest.

The sensation of his meat finally being pleasured like this – by someone else’s body – and the sexual smell of his fated mate gave him the chance to slowly give room to his instincts once more and become the alpha he was and enjoy the omega riding his hips. He gritted his teeth and reached out his hands to touch his fated mate, to feel him somehow other than by his insides, and he became drunk with carnal lust.

“Mmmhh… Yeah…” he heard Slaine moan with a voice sultry from lust and tease, moving his hips seductively.

When Inaho’s body was overwhelmed by the small changes within the omega, as the blond’s muscles changed the way they gripped and grinded around the brunet’s shaft, he released a loud gasp. This seemed to humor the other, who laughed lightly and obnoxiously asked:

“You like that, alpha?” He was briefly interrupted by a moan before he continued: “How does an- Haahhh! … omega’s body feel like for the first time?”

The question was so teasing and intrusive the young alpha felt the thrill increase, and he dragged his nails down the blond’s thighs. Slaine groaned and hissed with enjoyment from behind gritted teeth while dominating the virgin like a savage, and the alpha began to feel the need to bite him anew and fulfill the bond he had been interrupted from.

Desperately – pathetically – he pulled his arms to him and pushed the sweetly tortured body’s torso up from the floor, leaning closer to the omega riding him. Then, with a weak and trembling hand, he tried to push the omega off and force him down instead to get free access to his neck. Slaine disobeyed him, grabbing his wrist and bending it away from him, and he chuckled teasingly:

“Don’t pussy out now. Mmmh…!” He paused the rhythmic bouncing and watched the alpha with narrowed eyes. “You want me, don’t you?” he then asked and leaned closer to the young alpha’s face, who panted for breath while his body tingled from lustful wonder. A dominating sneer spread on the omega’s lips before they whispered: “Don’t act like you’re a victim here.”

The other’s pheromones invaded Inaho’s nostrils instantly and in powerful intensity now that the omega was this close, awakening the heat properly once more and to its fullest. Without hesitation, the brunet reached out his other hand to grab the unsuspecting omega by his hair and pulled him down toward him, forcing his head aside.

“Hagh!” the omega gasped from surprise and tried to resist with a growl, but the alpha ignored him and opened his jaws.

His mouth was watering from lust and hunger, and his mind blanked out completely once his instincts had erased all reason and decided for him to bite the blond anew. The omega released his wrist and tried to push his body up, growling in protest like a wild animal, but Inaho wrapped the other arm around his waist and held his body against him, squeezing them tightly together. Because Slaine’s legs were bound by his slacks and underwear, he could not fight back aggressively enough to struggle free from the alpha’s strong grip. A sense of accomplishment spread in the brunet and urged him to sink his teeth into the pale neck where a red mark already glowed beneath the blood from the previous bite and injury.

The omega struggled some more, clearly not wanting to lose to the alpha, but Inaho held him still and raised his head. A second later, his teeth pushed against the sweet smelling spot on the omega’s neck, and a howl escaped his fated mate as he was bitten again.

“HAAAARGHH!”

When the body on top of him began to grow limp once more, the young alpha instinctively knew he was biting the right spot. Then, the omega’s sweet pheromones began to change too, making them less wild and more sexual than ever before. As this scent invaded the alpha’s nostrils for the second time, the cock left throbbing inside the omega demanded pleasure as he had to release his seed into the other and make him pregnant with his children.

The alpha pulled his legs up toward him, feet still planted securely to the floor, and then tried to thrust upward. The omega imprisoned in his jaws released a pleasured cry, letting the brunet know the mating could be done this way as well. It coaxed the young alpha to continue thrusting, using his legs to push strongly into the weak mate resting on top of him. The blond moaned and cried out in a sweet and begging voice in between the disapproving growls of an opponent who refused to lose a game, and grabbed Inaho’s arms with clutching fingers.

“Aahhhh! Mmmh! Haahh…!” he cried loudly, revealing to his mate he was fucked just in the right way to make him feel bliss, before protesting with a submissive sigh and acknowledged the alpha had won: “S-shit!”

When the scent had stopped to smell as sweetly intoxicating as before, the young alpha bit down harder. Again, the omega released a howl from pain, before his voice turned into sultry gasps and moans so obscene it urged the alpha to speed up his thrusting – which increased the volume of the approving cries even more.

His captured mate moaned and sighed like an animal, clutching the alpha’s open shirts and pulled at it with nails ripping the fabric while lying perfectly still and let the alpha thrust into him and mark him willingly – accepting the bite and the cock inside him with blissful obedience that urged the young alpha to nearly lose his mind now that he had the control over the unruly omega.

Once the scent had weakened again, the alpha bit harder. Again, the omega cried out from surprising pain before his moans and pleasured growls took over once more.

“Y-yeah! Haaagh!” the omega cried approvingly as the pain from the bite subsided before going limp again. “H-harder! Aaahh! Fuck m-me harder!”

Their bodies slammed together, making loud smacking sounds as the wetness between them was overflowing, slithering down Slaine’s thighs and wetting Inaho’s hips, and it poured down inside the trousers and between the brunet’s balls, down between his buttock and onto the floor. The omega was overflowing with secretion so sticky and rich the alpha’s groin was soaking wet, and the sweet and fresh smell of it made the alpha finally bite down hard enough the omega went completely limp and drunk from surging hormones the bite caused.

At this, the alpha stopped thrusting. Instead, they lay there on the floor in silence, the omega lying on top of the alpha like a ragdoll and breathed with irregular and shallow breaths. His hands rested limply on the floor next to the young alpha’s shoulders, and his insides were relaxed while they twitched. The omega’s hole was perfectly tight now; not too loose and tight enough the young alpha could fulfill the mating by freely plowing into the omega and fill his womb with his cum without worrying about resistance.

The omega was bonded to him.

The young alpha – drunk, fulfilled and satisfied from his accomplishment – released the omega’s neck and rolled him off him. Slaine fell limply to the floor, face down, gazing at nothing with hazy eyes like he was drunk out of his mind. Inaho – more aggressive than ever before – grabbed the omega’s hips and pulled them closer to him, forcing the blond’s dripping ass up into the air. Ignoring the traces of blood that had almost been washed away by the secretion from mating, the alpha grabbed his own cock and pushed it straight into the omega’s hole without hesitation, plowing through the flesh all the way inside.

“Haaahhh!” he moaned and leaned his head back from satisfaction now that his pulsing meat was back inside the warm body that had given him pleasures beyond his imagination.

Slaine did no resistance, but instead moaned and sighed like in a state of delirious lust while lying obediently and limp in front of the alpha.

Slowly, the young alpha began to move his hips again, feeling the slightly new feeling pleasure him senseless as the angle was new. The hole was still just perfectly tight while being swollen and wide open for him, begging him to fuck it raw and inseminate it. When the alpha pushed as deeply as he could, his and the omega’s balls were snuggled together and he could feel the end of the other’s insides – the cervix.

Frenzy struck him now that he knew he was this close to the womb, and he began thrusting harder – slamming his body against the omega to push the tip of his cock against the cervix over and over again while pumping his cock with the help of the omega’s insides – with the intention to overflow his mate with his seed. He did not give a damn if the omega was miscarrying, nor did he care if he would fail or succeed with impregnating his mate. He was merely eager to release his seed into him.

The omega laid on the floor in the position that allowed the alpha to plunge his cock inside him, and gasped mindlessly with his eyes unfocused. He looked harmonious – so different to what the aggressive and frenzied alpha felt like.

To inspect the fruit of his labor and add to his sense of achievement, he stared at the red marks on the omega’s neck, watching them intently and with animalistic pride for finally having marked his fated mate. They were bonded – whether the omega liked it or not – and he would have the alpha’s children and give him a family.

Deeply in the back of his mind, Inaho knew he was deliriously imagining things to push himself over the edge and get his climax. Right now, he could not care about what was true and not as he was nothing but an animal.

He continued thrusting for so long Slaine began to wake up from the daze of the mark, and he reached his hands behind him and grabbed Inaho’s thighs while his moans grew louder. The omega was receiving the alpha with delight, begging for more while body fluids dripped from his cock rocking between his legs along with his body from the alpha’s thrusts.

“Mmmmh!” he moaned, and managed to gasp: “Cum in me… Haahh! Breed me … _my_ alpha…!”

This made the young alpha release all inhibitions and he slammed his hips against the omega’s ass, pounding into the hole hard enough the omega cried out with a loud voice that surely poured out into the corridor outside. The pleasured screams soon turned into desperate cries, like Slaine had become a howling bitch unable to bare the intense arousal and pleasure. He clawed on Inaho’s thighs and sobbed out his moans, begging him to fill him with his cum.

The pleas were obscene and tickled the right part of the alpha’s brain, and he could feel the pressure begin building up within his loins. It was similar to how it felt like when he masturbated and reached a pleasurable orgasm, but – this time – it was warped up to insane levels.

His fingers bore into the omega’s hipbones and pulled the warm body against him when he fucked it, and he groaned like a proper alpha for the first time. It felt like his balls contracted while slapping the omega’s hot scrotum and an agonizing shock burned his nerves to ash as he heard and felt the omega orgasm. The blond screamed it out like a wild beast in agonizing pain while his flesh squeezed painfully around the alpha’s cock, and the contractions ruling in the omega’s body sucked on the other’s meat, like the womb was thirsty and greedy for his cum.

“HAAAGHHH! AAHH! MMMHH!”

The shock from his mate’s pleasured scream and the squeezing and sucking of his flesh started from Inaho’s spine and reached all the way out to his fingertips. He growled out loud and leaned over the omega, pinning him beneath him while cumming harder than ever before and let his cock erupt within his mate. He spurted once, then twice and thrust his hips with a growl, a third time and then finally ending his orgasm with the fourth. Immediately, the knot began to swell and soon plugged the omega’s body, refusing any seed to leak out to maximize the chance of pregnancy.

αβΩ

He panted for breath while lying limply against the floor, his ass up in the air. The cold floor soothed his feverish head as he rested his cheek against it after deciding to linger in the delirium of the bonding and mating. His cells were vibrating with joy and his heartbeats were rough but warm, and the pit of his chest and stomach tingled with wonderful feelings. He felt so fulfilled, so close to earth while paradoxically soaring high up in the sky that he smiled without realizing it, and he released soft coos and pleased whimpers now and then when he felt the alpha’s knot within him – _his_ alpha’s knot.

Inaho’s breaths were ragged while Slaine’s were deep but smooth. He could hear the other’s from behind him while his mate’s sweaty hands still held the omega’s hips. He felt like purring and squirming from relief and pleasure, roll around on the floor and cling to his mate at the same time – like he was overwhelmed by joy that had driven him mad. He felt safe and sound, calm and satisfied. Patched up and whole after being torn down and built up again.

It was strange, as he had first believed he would feel violated after a bonding, but – in all honesty – he felt perfectly at peace, like something important had happened, which would never happen again in his life. It made him feel like he had accomplished something very significant, something that made _him_ feel significant – like a king, or even a god. He felt like there was nothing he could not do because – now – he had his mate with him to hold his hand.

Not only had he and Inaho bonded – the heat and throbbing on his neck refused to let his thoughts wander from that fact – but they had also fulfilled an important duty, not to society or anyone else but to each other.

Now that they were a bonded pair blessed by fate, he truly, honestly felt like he had finally come home after stumbling in a dark world for far too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You haven't forgotten about the explicit sexual content, right? Be ready for a lot of it (it has a meaning, I promise!). Also, thank you so much for the overwhelming support in the previous chapter. It brightened up my day! ♥


	18. The Bonded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Just when I got back to my old update schedule my schedule at work was altered, and now I will have to change the update schedule to Sundays. I hope that's all right with all of you. (@__@)

Slumped and with his back against the wall – after pathetically shuffling away from his mate to free himself from the other’s clutches – Inaho gasped for air, feeling out of breath. His legs, hips, back, loins and stomach ached like he had exerted them beyond what he was used to, and he had not noticed he was this exhausted until just a couple of seconds ago – like waking up from a strange daze. He woke up to discover his clothes – which he still wore as they had forgotten to remove them due to the heat frenzy – were soaked with sweat, cum, secretion and blood. To mate was a dirty business, so unflattering compared to the romantic picture of it he was used to hearing, and while he was happy about it he also felt a need to shower and change clothes while his head was still clear.

For how long had he been controlled by primitive instincts? For how long had he been controlled by a violent need to mate? Now that his mind was beginning to wake up – to become rational once more – the fear of having done something bad came along with it as he understood what had just happened.

A bond had been made and the mating instincts that followed were satisfied for now.

‘ _Slaine…_ ’

When he raised his head to take a look at his mate, he saw the blond lie on his back on the floor and staring up at the ceiling with a hazy expression while breathing much more calmly than the brunet. His hair and sweater were disheveled while his pants lay where they had been thrown at some point during their mating; somewhere behind the couch. Red marks could be seen around his neck where Inaho had bitten him time and time again, making the neck area look tender and sore. Bruises were appearing beneath the red skin.

‘ _Is he hurt?_ ’ Inaho wondered worried and took the deepest breath yet, to clear his mind some more.

“Slaine,” he said weakly, but the blond did not react. As he got no answer, the brunet tried pushing his exhausted body away from the wall to move closer. His muscles were still too tired to allow him to move, and he was forced to stay where he was. “Have I … hurt you?” he gasped instead and leaned his head back against the wall for a while to ease his breathing and properly catch his breath before trying to move closer to the blond again.

“Mm…” the blond hummed when his ears were tickled by the brunet’s voice, acknowledging hearing Inaho’s words. He did not seem to be interested in speaking at the moment and continued gazing up at the ceiling.

As he got no answer, Inaho lowered his head to look at the blond and determine visually how the other possibly felt. Even without the analytical engine, Inaho could see the other was breathing calmly and peacefully, and his body was perfectly relaxed. There was nothing sexual about him the way he lay half naked on the floor, nor did he seem angry or sad, like Inaho was used to seeing him. He was just … present.

Determined by the look the blond was still bathing in the afterglow only an omega could feel, Inaho had learned – unlike an alpha who was left with complete disorientation after bonding. There was a lot for Inaho to take in after waking up this brusquely after a heat he had never felt before. He knew what they had done – what _he_ had done – and now that the memories began to flash through his head he grew all the more worried of how Slaine would react once he would wake up from the afterglow.

‘ _I’m sorry_ ,’ Inaho apologized silently – saving his proper apology for later when the blond was in a state to hear it.

Instead, he kept the other under observation. It was impossible to resist the realization of how beautiful the relaxed blond was – so peaceful and breathtaking despite the mess he was covered in. The pale velvet skin glowed softly in the light from the ceiling, and the silky hair glimmered like pale gold. The shadows on his countenance fell like dreamy hues, fading gently into darker the deeper the shadows were. The tropical and hazy eyes glittered healthily and his lips were slightly parted, like he was ready to accept a kiss at any moment.

Everything about him was visually pleasant.

‘ _We’re mates…_ ’ the brunet then thought as he began to understand this. He could feel it all across his body, like he was gravitating toward him. The more he let himself take in this feeling, the more he understood he had been enslaved by the blond; Inaho adored him even more than he had expected, and he felt a need to make sure he was all right. If Slaine would wake up now and express discontent, Inaho was ready to do everything he could to relieve him of whatever that made him feel unhappy. ‘ _Just don’t say that it’s me_ ,’ he thought and took a deep breath:

“Slaine…” the brunet gasped after waking up from the spell his mate’s existence had put him in, and swallowed hard from thirst; his mouth and throat were bone-dry. “We should take a shower.”

This time, the other – still high on the feelings the hormones of bonding – turned to look at the brunet with eyes glazed over. It took a while for him to say anything, like he was struggling to not wake up from the seemingly pleasant state he was in, and Inaho waited patiently.

They stared at each other for a while in silence – sharing a gaze to make sure the other was really there – until Slaine turned his eyes up at the ceiling again and swallowed from thirst as well.

“Y-yeah…” he gasped and closed his eyes.

With muscles aching, Inaho made another attempt at pushing his body away from the wall, and managed to crawl over to the blond on all four. Slaine did not seem alarmed by hearing him approach him, but he opened his eyes a crack to look at the brunet.

Inaho hesitated – wondering if he was allowed to touch him – and then slowly reached out a hand to brush the sweaty bangs out of his mate’s eyes. Slaine did not flinch or react from fright, but instead closed his eyes again and gave the brunet permission to touch him. He had never allowed Inaho to touch him this way before, which made an enormous joy wash over the brunet; the palm of the young alpha’s hand tingled with warmth when he felt the warm and sweaty skin and the strands of hair brush against it, and a large feeling of devotion coursed through him.

The wild beast was finally calm, and Inaho had succumbed to his majestic presence without realizing it until it was too late to struggle. It was like he had approached a wild tiger, and the king of the jungle had given him permission to lie down to rest next to it; this tiger – this omega – still had sharp claws, and Inaho was aware of it. Despite that, he made himself vulnerable and succumbed to the omega’s conditions, being perfectly aware that the omega would be his law and order; there was no way for him to resist him.

‘ _Being an alpha and an omega is a lie_ ,’ the brunet thought while feeling proud over his mate’s authoritative existence, not minding it the slightest. ‘ _You will be the willful force in our life and I trust you to be merciful toward me, as that is all I can do._ ’

Gently, he cupped the omega’s cheek into his hand and leaned closer, bending down to offer his mate an adoring kiss. Slaine looked up at him, watching him until their breaths collided before Inaho felt himself being pushed away by weak hands, denying him a kiss.

There was his mate’s first condition, and worry washed over the brunet, sweeping away the feeling of unity Inaho had felt for a brief moment. Suddenly, he felt nervous of being left alone; there was still time for the omega to reject the alpha’s mark. This knowledge caused a worry so strong to bullet through him that his body quivered momentarily.

He was standing in the beast’s claws that were ready to bore into him.

‘ _Please…!_ ’ he thought from desperation.

“No more…” he heard the blond say quietly, and Inaho watched him turn his head away – making the fear of rejection grow some more. “I’ll just go into heat again. I’m too tired for that,” Slaine then mumbled somewhat irritably.

The peacefulness was gone.

Inaho – terrified of doing something that would anger his mate – nodded and obediently raised his weak body from the floor and up on his feet. It felt like his knees wanted to give way in an instant – too weak to carry his weight – but he somehow managed to stay strong and offered the blond help to get up from the floor. Slaine – strongminded as he was – did not take his hand; he stood up on his own accord, announcing his independence loudly and clearly.

This alarmed Inaho some more, and he felt frustrated at himself. He felt like a lonely puppy, nervous and scared of being left alone. It was so unlike him that there was no way for him to guard his heart against the fear of being rejected by Slaine. Was the blond angry at him for having gone into heat, taking him without concern for the other who had been rendered vulnerable by the bite?

“I’m sorry,” Inaho said without thinking. The fear was eating away at him, and he had impulsively voiced his apology like he was anxious to make things stable between them.

Slaine looked up at him after steadying himself against the backrest of the couch, and his eyes slightly squinted back at the brunet. The shadow of a count still lingered in them, making Inaho feel so much horrendously smaller now that he was this vulnerable.

“For what?” the blond asked with a suspicious tone, and Inaho’s heart bowed down to beg for mercy:

“For me forcing myself on you when you were dazed out because of the bite.”

Slaine stayed silent for a while, staring at the brunet like he was unsure of how to look at him. Inaho waited – all the more nervous – and tried to be as brave as he could and meet the other’s eyes.

After a short while, Slaine sighed, lowered his eyes and pulled fingers through his hair, leaning against the couch like he was tired, and said quietly:

“It’s fine. I knew it would happen so it’s not like I can put all the blame on you.”

Inaho was still nervous. Even though Slaine had told him before the bond that he chose him and wanted to be with him, and even though he had also shown the willingness to bond with him, Inaho was still not all right as Slaine had shown inconsistencies in what he wanted to do. One moment he could be clinging to the brunet, and the next he could reject him by shoving him away.

‘ _I have to know what he wants and thinks_ ,’ Inaho thought, feeling his frail heart ache from the frightening ignorance of what Slaine was planning to do from now. ‘ _But I don’t trust his word, so I cannot simply ask_.’

Then how would Inaho know what Slaine wanted to do now that they had formed a mark? Because he lacked a proper plan to discover the other’s real thoughts and feelings, he reminded the blond to take a shower instead and buy himself some time. Slaine agreed silently, retrieving his pants from the other side of the couch and pulled them on before they ventured out into the now empty corridors. The entire building was eerily quiet now that the Terran guards were not present like they used to.

They both discovered how exhausted their bodies truly were by taking their first proper steps. Even though Inaho was more affected by the mating than Slaine, they still had to move slowly together, supporting against each other while dragging their feet behind them as they walked down the corridors toward the shower room. Inaho’s knees shook and ached all the way to the shower, and Slaine’s hips seemed to sporadically grow numb and lose strength, making him stagger and claim more support from the brunet until he felt strong enough to continue walking.

They took turns in the single shower and showered in silence, Slaine with his back against the brunet before giving room to Inaho to shower as well. Throughout the entire time, Inaho thought hard at what to do with his nervousness of possibly being rejected, and he could only come up with one single way of determining how sincere Slaine was.

Once they had dried their bodies and been dressed in new clothes from the storage – both Inaho and Slaine wearing the same kind of sweaters and pants – Inaho decided to test the blond while his heart was beating in his throat from anxiety, and asked:

“Would you like some fresh air?”

Immediately, Slaine understood what this invitation meant and went still and stared at him without saying a word at first. It was like he was suspecting the brunet to pull a prank on him. Inaho, on the other hand, watched him while desperately trying to calm his own heart and waited for an answer, and the blond soon said:

“Where?”

“The back yard,” the brunet answered immediately. “There’s a small porch with a roof and some furniture and blankets.”

The former count’s eyes narrowed as he studied the other and seemed to want to provoke him. He was letting Inaho know he was still wild despite being bitten.

“What if I’ll run away?” he asked quietly and with a threatening voice, just like Inaho had expected of him.

“Will you?” he asked bluntly. Slaine blinked from the brunet’s counter question, and the young alpha continued: “The back yard has no wall or fence that separates it from the forest. I want to trust you anyway, and that is why I ask if you want some fresh air.”

It was partly a lie and partly the truth. Inaho wanted to trust Slaine enough to not run away and leave him, but he was aware of the other’s unpredictability and willful nature. Even if Slaine would probably fall into horrific trouble if the former Count Saazbaum Troyard was found alive and wandering in the woods, Inaho figured it was Slaine’s own responsibility to face the consequences of his own actions … no matter how much he wanted to protect him from himself. The brunet knew that if Slaine decided to run away, he would run as far as his legs would carry him.

‘ _But will you stay?_ ’

Inaho’s answer seemed to surprise the blond, whose expression softened immediately. Perhaps being given trust like this allowed him some peaceful independence – to not always be viewed as a villain and be controlled because of fear. They were not yet a unit of two that was – according to the legend of fated mates – impossible to separate; Slaine could still run and reject the bond, but Inaho hoped he was true to his word of wanting to be with him, like he had said before they had bonded.

“Shall we?” Inaho pushed and walked up to the door leading out of the showers on slightly stronger legs now that they had rested while showering, waiting for Slaine to follow him.

The blond’s eyes turned wild; aware and at attention.

Carefully, with hesitant steps, the blond walked up to him and then followed him through the now empty doors and corridors, until he came to the wooden stairs up from the basement onto ground level. Inaho noticed this as he kept an eye on the blond, and stopped to wait for him a couple of steps above.

Slaine stared at the stairs at first in silence, watching them because he had never walked up these stairs before. They were on the other side of the building than the way he had been taken down to the basement when he had been imprisoned half a year ago, and led up to the offices and conference rooms, personnel kitchen and sleeping quarters for those on on call duty.

“It’s fine, you can come,” Inaho ensured the blond, who looked up at him briefly before turning his eyes to the handrail to his right.

Slowly, the blond grabbed the wooden rail and began climbing the set of wooden stairs that creaked beneath his feet, just like they had done when Inaho had stepped on them. Slaine had never walked these stairs before, and Inaho could notice this inexperience in the way he moved, like he was uncertain of if he was allowed to be there. He walked carefully and seemed tense and awake, probably expecting someone to yell at him to go back down the stairs into the basement.

“It’s just down the corridor to the right,” Inaho explained and showed the blond the way through the corridors, until they stopped in front of a large set of windows and a patio door, revealing the somewhat overgrown garden that was beginning to wake up due to the warmer weather of early spring. April had arrived, but it was still cold outside without a proper jacket. “Take a blanket with you,” Inaho instructed and reached to take a blanked from the basket next to the door where several blankets and slippers lay in wait. “Let’s not stay out for too long; our hairs are still wet and it’s not summer yet.”

When he turned around to look at the blond and see what he was doing, Slaine’s eyes were strictly staring at the garden and the woods beyond. He had an even wilder look now than before, like the look only a captive wild beast could have. His eyes were intense with certain longing for the freedom that lay on the other side of the glass. This made the brunet’s heart heavier, and the lump that had formed in his throat now slipped down into his stomach, which began to ache.

‘ _I won’t imprison you if you stay; you’re not a prisoner, so you don’t need to run away from me_ ,’ he thought, feeling downhearted from watching the blond stare at the world outside like this would be his only chance to conquer it by running straight into it.

Slaine was still prideful and demanding; he knew what he wanted and he did not hesitate to try getting it. Inaho worried that he would not be able to abandon the wish for freedom he had most likely had a long time now. As a teenager who was still maturing cognitively, the blond was probably not as aware of consequences of his actions in a strong affective moment like this, just like Inaho. They were both victim to their undeveloped minds that were dangerously impulsive, which risked making them do things they could regret seconds later. Would Slaine be able to change his mind and stay despite being teased with freedom like this?

With the added wildness into the blond’s expression and body language after seeing the world outside after many months of isolation, Inaho’s worry increased slightly more.

Would the blond run once he opened the door?

He kept Slaine under observation after deciding to carry through with his plan, and he took the keys to the lock from the left-side pocket of the sweatpants. The blond turned his wild gaze to the brunet and then down toward his hand with the keys. He was watching him closely with a body tensing up as Inaho pushed the key into the lock and, when the brunet turned the key and pushed down the handle, Slaine’s exhausted body exploded with adrenaline within the blink of an eye.

Inaho had no time to react as Slaine dashed toward the door. His strength was incredible when he pushed the brunet out of his way with a brutal shove; Inaho stumbled and fell, hit his head and shoulder against the wall next to the door while Slaine disappeared out through the door after slamming it open hard enough to make the window on it rattle loudly.

Inaho, momentarily disoriented from the hit, hurried up from the floor and turned toward the door that deafened him with the audible quivers of protesting glass, and looked up to see his fated mate’s back as the blond ran as fast as he could toward the forest.

Panic erupted within him and he hurried outside in an impulse to run after his mate, but stopped on the porch; Slaine was already too far away for him to be able to reach him, and the speed of his legs told Inaho he had been rejected once more.

Slaine would keep running, right? He would never stop to look back.

‘ _No!_ ’ Inaho suddenly thought when his heart nearly imploded from frightening hurt and loneliness, and he took a deep breath of the spring air and exclaimed:

“Don’t go!” When the blond did not stop, the chaotic emotions took over entirely and he shouted his name: “Slaine!”

Frantically, he began thinking of what to do to not be left alone while gripping the blanket he still carried with aching fingers. It would hurt too much; he would not survive the pain. To get help, he could push the alarm button he carried and send guards and soldiers to capture the allusive omega, but that would only serve to destroy the little trust they had managed to-

Suddenly, as the echo of the brunet’s plea faded, Inaho watched in bewilderment as the wild beast came to a stop after passing a couple of trees, already being inside the forest.

αβΩ

He came to a stop and watched the naked trees in front of him reach up toward the sky that seemed to stretch on forever – a sky he had not seen for months. His gaze was slowly blurred from the tears he cried from finally being outside the oppressive building behind him. He breathed with heaving breaths that drifted back to his face in the spring breeze – something he had not experienced for a very long time. The air around him was enormous; he felt like a small creature in a large world, so vulnerable and free he could barely handle it emotionally. The walls around him were gone and there was not roof above him to contain him in a glass jar; the butterfly was finally free.

The world stood before him, wide open and new, but no matter how much his heart beat with joy and thrill to finally be allowed to claim his freedom, his ears were ringing with a heart-wrenching cry that had commanded him to come to an instant halt, like a gunshot to the head; he could not help but to stand still after hearing his fated mate yell to him to not run, and the flow of tears slowly increased by overwhelming feelings.

Somewhere behind him, his fated mate was watching him with terror from seeing the butterfly fly away. They did not know each other too well – they barely knew each other at all – but it felt like he was running away from home. He knew that if he decided to continue running and claim his freedom, he would never be able to return home again.

‘ _Inaho…_ ’ he thought and took a deep breath and turned his head up to look at the sky as his thoughts and feelings were clashing within. ‘ _I can’t run away, can I?_ ’ … because there was nothing to run away from; ‘ _Because you’re not my prison_.’

There were grey clouds covering the blue sky, just like during early spring weather when the sun was still too cold. The air was too cold as well, and the ground too. Everything was too cold, except for the touch of his fated mate – the mate who had marked him since a little while ago.

Hesitantly – almost fearfully – he turned around to look at the brunet on the porch. As his eyes landed on him, he saw the pale face of a heartbroken man who waited with hope that the blond would return to his side. Slaine had never known the other to be an emotional character; Inaho had always felt so far away in terms of sensitivity. Recently, however, he had shown that he harbored larger emotions than he expressed, but – now – his expression was filled with fear and desperate hope.

Only someone who loved another could look like that; Slaine knew what he felt as he, too, had felt that way.

He had to admit to himself he felt pity on the other that was slightly larger than the pity toward someone who was a mere acquaintance. Slaine did not love him, that was for sure, but what was even more sure was that it was not because he hated him; he did not hate Inaho, nor did he dislike him. It simply felt like they shared something important that he could not explain, and that was enough for the blond to stay.

‘ _I decided to take a chance with you, after all_.’

How could he ever condemn him to live in a heartbroken world? How could he continue rejecting him? Slaine was past that; he felt the bond between them like a kind force gravitating him toward the other, just like when he had run away from Asseylum. Slaine knew he had to give in to the gravitational pull yet again and turn back; not because he had no choice, but because…

‘ _I don’t want to run away_ …’

With hands squeezing into fists out of determination, he began walking toward the porch with steps slowed down from shame from what he had done. Inaho stood waiting and watching, and Slaine stared back at him with nervousness. For each step he took, the more awkward he felt as his heart began to calm down out of exhaustion and his reason took over. It made him feel like he had done something bad; something that had hurt another. Shame was a wonderful gift in that sense, to let him know when he had been unfair. It was a curse as well, though, as his pride hurt from it and made him want to hide.

‘ _I’m so overwhelmed by everything…_ ’ he thought apologetically. ‘ _I don’t know what to do!_ ’

Despite the shame and confusion, he returned to stand before his mate and wait for the repercussions. He and Inaho looked at each other in silence for a while – Slaine still trying to catch his breath with tears dripping shyly down his cheeks, while the brunet studied him closely. The blond felt nervous of what the other would do; he was sure Inaho was angry at him for having tried to run away.

To his surprised, Inaho unfolded the blanket he held in the air and wrapped it around the blond’s shoulders, as if to welcome him back.

“Let’s not stay out here for too long,” the brunet commented quietly and then turned to pick up another blanket from the basket inside the house, and proceeded with wrapping it around himself.

Slaine watched him with bewilderment, shocked by how kind the other was despite the blond’s constant abuse. He had dared to let the prisoner outside, and he had not commanded him to come back nor chased him but rather pleaded him to not run away, and he was not scolding him for having tried to escape. Instead, he let Slaine be unpunished and invited him to sit down onto the couch made of woven wood.

Because he felt shame, he did not ask why Inaho did not react with anger. He was rather relived and instead sat down next to him, as far away from him as possible and dried his tears. The young alpha did not comment on this, but rather watched the back yard and forest without a word. The silence was heavy and Slaine wondered if he should say something to break the ice. No matter how much he had rejected the other in the past, they had both pushed through and climbed a mountain of obstacles. Now, their fates were intertwined and, although it felt new to him, he did not mind it too much.

It felt good to have somewhere he belonged, but it was a new feeling to take in, which made him not appreciate it properly; he had never belonged anywhere, which made him feel confused and scared. The world was constantly changing its rules around him, presenting him with new ones all the time. This in turn made him feel lost as he was never given a chance to settle down. It would take a long time for him to relax in this new world he had been given next to his fated mate, and he hoped with shame that Inaho would continue showing patience and support the way he had thus far.

‘ _I’ll be a handful_ ,’ Slaine admitted, fully aware of his unruly nature. ‘ _And I’m sorry…_ ’

“I have been thinking,” Inaho suddenly said, and Slaine’s ears became sharper and his body tensed up. He was ridiculously giddy around the other. “You need some purpose, right? What about continue writing your story?”

“My … story?” Slaine asked quietly and confused while watching the brunet with a frown.

“It’s really good,” the other continued. “I haven’t read anything so honest and intimate before – not that I have read much at all, but I really think that your story has some significance to the world. More people need to read what you’ve gone through.”

Slaine scoffed.

“They won’t care what Count Saazbaum Troyard has been through,” he said and leaned on the armrest while looking at a couple of hibernating bushes in the back yard with disinterest. “They’d probably celebrate the tyrant was tortured as a kid and start speculating freely over how he became so messed up.”

“You can be anonymous,” Inaho suggested, still not looking at the blond. “A nameless voice speaking from somewhere to enlighten the societies of what they’re doing to those lowest on the hierarchy.”

The omega turned to stare at the young alpha, who kept on watching the forest where a couple of birds chirped. What he told him was to take a political stand in the gender discourse by making his story known to the world. Had he no idea how ridiculous that was?

‘ _I can’t do anything constructive. I proved that, didn’t I?_ ’ he thought.

“One person cannot change the world alone,” the blond pointed out, but was countered:

“You tried to change two worlds as Count Saazbaum Troyard, but you failed because you gained more enemies than sympathizers; no one likes to be ruled by an absolute ruler in a democratic society like Earth, or a conservative world like Vers.” This time, Inaho turned his head to look at the blond, and continued: “But art is not meant to change the world; it’s meant to change the perspectives on how we see the world. By speaking about injustice, exploitation and humiliation, you bring them up to the surface where it’s possible for everyone to see them, and that alone will start a change; if you give people a reason to reflect, they will listen no matter if they agree or disagree with you.”

The blond stared at the brunet, surprised by how motivating his words could be as he found himself flattered despite his horrific past.

“You mean to give me an independent voice in the political sphere?” he asked, and Inaho nodded.

“If you want to take it that far, then yes,” he answered honestly. “You have the quality of a leader in you – otherwise you wouldn’t have been as successful as you were as a count – and I think you can make yourself heard without revealing your identity, as I think your written story is strong enough to speak on its own and give you a name that allows you to advance in the future.”

Slaine was not sure if he liked the idea of revealing his heart and soul to the world by allowing anyone who wanted to read it. To let strangers read about his suffering and his reactions to it was too intimate for him to simply agree to it. Then again, he had to be honest with himself and admit he was mightily curious about the idea. To once again tread onto the path of politics was interesting, especially when he knew about the topic from personal experiences.

“I have to think about it,” he said, and the brunet was quick to reply:

“Think about it for as long as you need.”

“I need better tools than a notebook and a pen if I’m intended to write about an omega’s experiences,” Slaine then pushed, and Inaho nodded.

“I’ll bring a laptop so you can write as much as you want,” the brunet answered and looked sincerely at the blond. “Once it’s done, and if you decide to reveal your story, you will have to change the parts of the story that might reveal your identity before publishing it.”

Slaine frowned.

“You’ve really thought about this?” he asked, and the brunet looked out at the world again.

“I have.”

Slaine was taken aback as the brunet admitted it so sincerely, and it felt strange to have someone think so much of him.

“Why?” the blond wanted to know, curious of what made Inaho think this way.

“Because I believe you can make a change for the better if you’re given a second chance,” was the answer. “Not only for the omega population, but also for the betas and alphas.”

His words took the blond’s breath away, and he stared at the young man for a long time without saying anything. His heart fluttered wonderfully and butterflies filled his stomach. It was so kind and gentle of the other to believe in someone as broken as him to be able to change the world even the slightest, and it was big of him to give the former tyrant a second chance despite the damage he had proven to be capable of.

“Thank you…” Slaine whispered and watched the brunet with a slightly more relaxed manner, and Inaho nodded and turned his attention back to the woods.

Again, they were silent for a while and Slaine caught himself with thinking of how to change his life narration to not reveal his identity if he were to publish it. Even if it was scary, he felt thrilled to be given such a chance.

‘ _Asseylum said he’s like an open door_ ,’ he thought and threw a glance at him before looking out at the forest as well. ‘ _A door that never closes_.’

“I’m sorry,” Inaho said once more, suddenly out of nowhere, and Slaine flinched as he was suddenly woken up from his thoughts.

“That again?” the blond grumbled. He had thought they had settled it before the showers.

“I have to apologize,” Inaho insisted, continuing: “Are you hurt?”

Slaine frowned and turned to stare at him.

“No,” he answered truthfully. “Why would I be?”

“Because you’re miscarrying,” the other answered, and Slaine was suddenly reminded of what was going on with his body.

He sighed. Again, people thought he was grieving for the child. How many times was he forced to say it was not the miscarriage that was the problem? He was tired of being met with the attitude people would have toward grieving mothers. He was strong and more complex than that; he was tired of proving it.

“What, you suddenly care about fucking me in the blood of a dead child?” he asked and watched as Inaho turned to look at him, giving him a hurtful look.

“Don’t say that,” the brunet said quietly. “You don’t need to try provoking me like that. I told you I don’t mind the blood.”

“Then what is it?” the blond asked and turned his attention to the forest again.

“Are you all right?” the brunet asked, and Slaine threw a confused glance at him again. “Isn’t it risky to mate when you’re miscarrying?”

So that was what the brunet was concerned about. Slaine furrowed his brows and remembered back to what the obstetrician had said, and then sighed:

“We should use a condom, but other than that it should be fine. Although, I don’t really care; I’ve had sex when I’ve menstruated, and there were no problems with it. If you’re concerned, you should speak to the obstetrician yourself; I’m not an expert in these matters.”

Inaho went silent for a while again, and Slaine took the opportunity to relax some more. It was surprisingly easy to relax with the other next to him. They had bonded and they had mated – both activities highly intimate. Slaine had noticed something troubling, though: When Inaho had reached to kiss him back in the TV-room, Slaine had felt a strange uncomfortable feeling wash over him. He had not rejected the brunet because he wanted to avoid falling into a heat like he had told him back then; he had rejected him because the loving and tender atmosphere that had settled around the brunet had felt uncomfortable. How strange. Was that not what Slaine had sought for, for all his life?; to be emotionally intimate with someone? Did he not want someone to treat him with gentle care?

‘ _I’m not sure what’s going on_ ,’ he thought as he found this new experience mindboggling.

“Back when we mated,” Inaho said suddenly again, and Slaine flinched for the second time.

“Yes?” he asked somewhat disinterestedly. He had a feeling the virgin in the other was curious and confused, and probably even worried about the mating he had just experienced.

“You told me to breed you,” Inaho continued bluntly, and Slaine swallowed some saliva that went down the wrong pipe, making him cough. “Do you really want that this soon?”

“W-what?” the blond asked and stared at the brunet with a heavy frown of surprise. “N-no, of course not,” he continued and felt awkward. “It just helps me to get off a little harder; I’m not serious about it.”

“You’re so aggressive when in heat,” Inaho continued and lowered his eyes to look at the wooden floor in front of him. “You’re so confident and in total control while I’m still new to this, which pulls me along and I lose my composure. That is why I need to ask, so I know what is going on.”

The inexperienced brunet trusted Slaine probably a little too much. Even if Slaine knew what he wanted during mating, he was also one of those who got so turned on by the senseless and primitive matters concerning sex that he could not contain it within him, making him behave obnoxiously and taking unnecessary risks out of impulse. Everything that had been forbidden during his time on Castle Cruhteo had turned into luscious and tempting apples in his Garden of Eden. Aggressiveness, control, a little pain and fucking raw was what fueled his flames when in heat, and love and gentleness seemed to bore him sick.

“You prefer love and gentleness?” Slaine asked after a while of awkward silence.

“I do,” Inaho answered honestly. “I suspect you don’t.”

“That’s right,” the blond said and watched his mate.

“Because you don’t love me?” Slaine did not answer as he could not quench the other’s hope of emotional intimacy in the future right now; the way the brunet’s posture looked told him Inaho was not comfortable with how Slaine had pulled him along during their first time together. “I understand that you don’t love me, and I respect that,” Inaho suddenly said after growing impatient of waiting for an answer he would not get. “I want to believe you will grow to do that in the future when you learn who I am with time,” he continued with hope. “Because you said you would take a chance with me; you rejected the empress and chose another mate right in front of her eyes. And now, you came back to me after attempting to run away. I have my proof of who you are right there; I don’t need to doubt you, do I?”

“Perhaps you should?” Slaine asked quietly, unable to answer with anything else.

“I won’t,” Inaho answered determinedly and turned to look at him. “You conquered me today. I have never been afraid like this in my entire life – to be rejected by you. I’ve always had control and been able to analyze the situation I’m facing and find a solution for it. With you, however, I can only hope and do my best of proving what I feel for you. I can only bow and watch you, because I can’t control you and never have even when I’ve tried – nor do I want to no matter how afraid I am.”

In other words, Inaho would look out for Slaine’s welfare and do everything in his power to make him happy. It was an unreal devotion to the blond. Inaho was used to caring for others; it was apparent in the way he interacted with Slaine – unlike Slaine who had proved himself to be a wreck when trying to look out for someone’s best interest.

“You really chose a bad mate,” the blond mumbled quietly, and Inaho looked down into his lap, saying:

“I don’t think you’re a bad mate. Just like I’m inexperienced with mating, you’re inexperienced with intimacy. That can be fixed.”

Slaine scoffed with a wry smile.

“You make me sound like a broken toy,” he pointed out, again turning offensive.

“We both are,” his mate answered, and Slaine went silent and watched the other with shock as Inaho revealed something very personal; that he too had issues.

Both of them needed help. Both of them were clumsy and inexperienced, and both of them were confused and afraid of the power they had over each other. Despite that, Inaho had decided to show trust in the blond and risk being crushed by his hand, who in turn had decided to do the same, although with greater caution than the other as he was less brave than the brunet.

Frail hearts were touching carefully, exploring the scary new world of each other while beating in harmonious disharmony. To think Inaho – Orange; Slaine’s previous enemy – was frail as well and also dared to admit it, was wonderfully liberating. Slaine was not alone in all this; both of their young hearts wobbled on unsteady legs as they tried to learn how to walk anew. They would push and pull at each other, make the other fall over and tumble on their way, but perhaps it was not as bad as Slaine thought, to feel like this? As long as they were both aware of their worlds that were broken in different ways, they could have a mutual understanding amongst all the chaos they would face and try walking together again after a clash.

Time went by on the porch that was haunted by the peaceful sounds of nature. Slaine could feel his head grow colder from the chilly air while words slowly lost their meaning. For the first time, they had landed on some kind of platform together that needed no words to convey what they thought and felt.

Instead of saying a word, the blond tried shuffling closer to the brunet to test his theory; they had faced chaos just recently, and now was the moment where they would support each other. The aching bite marks on his neck reminded him why it was important, as he understood he was accepting the mark. He was helpless against it because Inaho showed resilience no one else had; he cared about the blond no matter what he would go through along with him. He knew Slaine was broken, and yet he did not hesitate to entwine his fate with his despite being broken himself.

Shyly, Slaine hesitated for a while before leaning his head against his shoulder to show the other his gratitude. It lay uncomfortably there as it was awkward and strange, but his mate seemed to disagree as he reached out a hand to innocently place it on Slaine’s thigh. It was warm; it radiated through the fabric of the sweatpants, and a gentle tingle spread in the blond.

Weakly, Slaine pulled the blanket closer around his shoulders to hide from the cold and then sneaked his hand down toward Inaho’s hand resting on his leg. Slowly – ever so slowly – he let the first touch shock him; he pulled his hand away before trying again. The brunet waited patiently for the blond to dare sneak his hand closer to his, and Slaine was grateful for his patience while the blond was busy trying to do something he had never done before.

After a while of ridiculous but important hesitation while growing accustomed to the gentleness, he finally placed his hand on top of Inaho’s. After a couple of more seconds of emotional adjusting, his fated mate suddenly turned his hand up and entwined their fingers together. That sent a shock through the blond, who was filled with too large emotions to simply bare them, and he felt his heart quiver pitifully.

Someone was holding his hand. It was a simple gesture most people took for granted as they were used to it, but Slaine had barely even dreamed about it as he had believed no one would like to hold him like this. To suddenly be shown innocent love like this – to be shown he was important – overfilled him with joy. Not even Asseylum had given him this gentle gesture that spoke more than all the words in the world. It showed him that he had a place where he belonged with a person who wanted him there – who cherished him and saw him as more than an omega.

This made him wonder why the hell he had been resisting the brunet all this time. He had been a damn child trying to hold on to principles evil others had raised him with rather than see the kindness in his fated mate. Inaho had done everything and more for the blond during his stay here, and Slaine had failed to recognize that and had treated him harshly. Even if he knew he had been like this because he had been taught to never trust anyone – especially not an alpha – it was still not an excuse for all the things he had done. He had gone out of hand a long time ago.

Even if he knew this, he also knew their future would be bumpy. There were a lot of underlying issues that would come to the surface when he least expected it; Inaho would be forced to handle a lot of relational difficulties in the future, and – for once – Slaine felt ashamed and guilty about it.

“You know…” he said quietly after swallowing down a thick lump in his throat that threatened to make him cry. He took a breath as he would voice very important thoughts. “Just because we’ve bonded doesn’t mean that everything’s all right.”

“It doesn’t matter,” his mate answered quietly, squeezing his hand gently to show he was there with him. “Take your time and try your best, and so will I. That’s all I ask.”

‘ _There you go again…_ ’ Slaine thought and felt his brows furrow. ‘ _Being supportive and patient with someone like me._ ’

“I’m so sorry…” he whispered against the brunet’s shoulder after attempting to swallow down the heavy lump in the back of his throat again: “I’ve been so horrible toward you.”

“Don’t think about it,” his fated mate answered in his usual tone of voice. “There’s no need to apologize. Just let us help you, and let that be the first step.”

“To talk to the healthcare personnel?” Slaine asked, although he knew the answer.

“Yes. Let them help you in the ways I can’t. I know it might seem frightening, but trust them; they won’t harm you,” the other ensured him.

Perhaps he should try to do what his fated mate told him to? It felt important now that they had bonded and were sealing their separate fates into one by accepting the mark. To make their future work, Slaine had to touch the uncomfortable topics of his past and talk to the psychologist about it as most of their future problems lay in his past; he would mess things up many times as he was clumsy in this world of togetherness, and Inaho would be a victim for all of his relational failures.

For what it was worth Slaine owed the brunet all of his tries to make his own life bearable, as Inaho would be sharing some of that life as well, even if that was frightening beyond anything Slaine could think of; to be with someone like this was completely new to him as he was not able to keep the brunet at distance.

Surprisingly, what made him feel slightly at ease, though, was that – right now – Inaho was sharing the same prison clothes as the blond. It was a touching gesture whether it was intentional or not – making them both equal by the clothes, which in turn calmed the blond’s fears even just a little. He was grasping at straws by trying to find whatever detail he could to soothe his fears, but he had to no matter how farfetched it was. Even so, he found this leveled out coexistence pleasant; he liked to feel equal to others around him.

After silently giving the other his vows of taking the bull by the horns and speak to the healthcare personnel, he chuckled before saying:

“It’s like we’re both prisoners.” Inaho looked at him with a questioning look and the blond continued, still resting his head on the brunet’s warm shoulder while smiling gently: “You wear the same clothes as I do. It’s like they’ve become a uniform.”

“My clothes were either ripped or dirtied during the mating,” the brunet pointed out, and Slaine nodded and raised his other hand to touch the collar of the hoodie Inaho wore.

“Once they’ve been washed, don’t change your clothes,” he whispered and sniveled as the tears were close to falling. He felt vulnerable like this – horribly so.

‘ _That is why I don’t like gentle intimacy when mating?_ ’ he wondered troubled.

Inaho seemed to understand what his mate was hinting at, and promised him he would stay in these similar kinds of clothes until he had to leave – whenever that would be. Their near future was still a mystery as they had just recently bonded; who knew how much they would indulge in each other’s company until the wonders of the bonding had faded. All Slaine knew right now was that the uncomfortable shoulder was slowly becoming comfy.

“I was a good pilot thanks to the trainers at the Landing Castle I served on before the war,” he decided to say and smiled. “I loved to fly.”

“They trained you despite you being an omega?” Inaho asked, and Slaine nodded, still with the smile on his lips.

“Count Cruhteo – Klancain’s father – disliked omegas and hated Terrans. Because I was both, I was a target of loathing from both him and his subordinates,” he decided to say as he felt ready to reveal more about his past that he was yet to write down in his story. “Count Cruhteo wanted to make me into a Sky Carrier-pilot to be of some use and make Asseylum happy by giving me a position in his crew. Being a pilot is dangerous, though. One hit and you’re most probably dead, you know? The thing was that I found the training sessions to be an escape from all the rape and abuse; I fled from it all by spending as much of my time in the pilot seat as possible – making me into a skillful pilot, much more skillful than my lord thought. I was only damaged during the war; no one could shoot me down.” He turned his head up to look at Inaho, and said with a slight frown: “Except you.”

Inaho stared at him for a short while before looking up toward the cloud-covered sky, and said:

“Had I not been in point-blank range, I would have had great difficulties of shooting you down. The stunts you showed in the sky around the island where I shot you down were desperate but bold; only a good pilot would know their aircraft the way you did back then.”

Slaine chuckled and sat up, and then gave his mate a shove, saying:

“Idiot. Take some credit when it’s given to you.” Then he sniveled one last time and dried his nose, and whispered: “And thanks…”

“Because you were trained into a pilot, I assume you were trained in the basics of maintenance as well?” the brunet asked, and Slaine nodded, answering:

“Although I was really bad at that part; it always took a lot of time for me to finish up. I was more interested in flying than fixing broken things. I was even barked at by a superior for taking too long when my Sky Carrier was damaged during the first day of the war.”

“Have you always been like that?” his mate asked immediately, like he had caught on to something.

“Huh?” the blond asked and looked at him confused.

“To use things until they break and get new ones rather than fix them,” Inaho explained. “Have you always been like that, even on the emotional level?”

“Why you ask?”

“Because I think your behavior shows that at times; when you face something that’s emotionally unpleasant, you rather run away by becoming silent than fix it,” the other explained, and added: “I’m merely pointing it out, not accusing you.”

Slaine could immediately agree with what Inaho said, and it was probably not a secret that his ways of handling broken things – even a broken relationship – was by tossing it away and flee from it rather than fix it.

“I’m really bad with people,” he answered, admitting his faults. “Everyone is a threat.”

Inaho nodded and gave the blond’s hand a gentle squeeze, before he said:

“I think we should return inside and await the empress’s call of what is going to happen from here, and then I think you should talk to the psychologist and let him help you.”

Slaine watched Inaho stand up from the couch and walk over to the patio door and wait for the blond to follow him. Once again, Slaine would walk into that building and be surrounded by the suffocating walls, but it was the first time he would be asked to do it willingly.

‘ _There’s nowhere else I can go_ ,’ he thought and looked up at his mate. ‘ _Because this is where he’ll be_.’

Without a word, he raised himself from the couch and followed the only source of security he had in the world, back into the prison. To his surprise, he was not shown down the stairs into the basement where he had lived earlier, but was instead shown into a bedroom on the large second floor of what turned out to be a huge two-story building. There was a small television mounted onto a wall mount with swivel and tilt function, hanging above the bed, and a bathroom was down the hall. Slaine suspected the room was originally used by the personnel who were on an on call duty.

The blond learned it was a large house of old European style; he recognized it immediately now that he got more to base his suspicions on. The view outside the small window – tall but quite narrow – revealed that the house was located in a forest area; he could not see any civilization when looking toward the horizon where a large mountain towered up toward the sky. The window frame was painted white and looked old as well, and the floor creaked beneath his feet as the wooden planks beneath the carpet had been worn out throughout the years. The tapestry was of plain beige color – nothing fancy at all – and there were white baseboards running along the walls on floor level. The bed standing in a corner was a standard bed for one person.

He admired the vast scenery and enjoyed resting his eyes on far away object for once. His sight was somewhat strained as he did so; the distance was blurry. It would have not come to him as a surprise that his sight had taken damage of staying inside the small areas in the basement.

Suddenly, a gentle touch to his sore neck alarmed him and made him flinch, but then – as he was reminded who was standing behind him – he lowered his head slightly and let his mate touch the red bite marks on his skin. The brunet seemed to study them carefully, and Slaine winced at times as the other’s fingertips touched hurting areas.

“Is it painful?” the other asked behind him, his breaths brushing Slaine’s neck.

“A little,” the omega answered quietly. “They feel like sore bruises when I move my head, but it’s not too bad.”

The touch sent a shiver down his spine and Inaho’s smell reached his nostrils. The gentleness was teasing him now that he had settled with the thought of accepting the brunet as his mate; to accept the mark, and the brunet’s smell kicked his head into a spin and made him respond to it. Somehow, being marked and bonded made him feel thrilled, and he was sure it showed in his entire posture. What a hypocrite he was; to first reject the bond and now find it thrilling.

The air between them grew heavy with something that was coaxed forth from Slaine’s breaths and weak movements, like the air itself shifted. Perhaps it even did so as his neck began to tingle and warm up, and the air around him began so slowly smell sweeter for each breath he took. He was releasing pheromones – calling for his mate to give him attention. It made the blond’s stomach tingle with electric shocks that teased his loins to heat up, and he could only helplessly succumb to the heat the other’s scent ignited within him once more. No reason to resist him came to mind and the blond released a quivering breath as he felt his mate’s lips kiss the bruises on his neck, feeling the same calling as the blond.

His hairs stood on end at the touch, and a shiver bolted down his spine again, much harsher than the previous shiver. They were both ready for each other, unexpectedly and non-romantically so. The feeling of mating still lingered in their bodies from earlier, which made foreplay a boring bother.

“Inaho…” he whispered and reached his hands behind him, searching for the alpha’s hips to pull him closer. As he did, he released a pleased sigh of feeling the soft lump inside the other’s sweatpants. “Can we do it again?” he then asked, and listened to Inaho’s gasps as he whispered:

“We should have a condom.”

“No,” Slaine complained. “It’s fine, I promise.”

“But according to you, the obstetrician-“

Inaho was awfully careful, which made Slaine feel agitated from impatience. He would not bother with rubbers now as he was already heating up, and he would not allow Inaho to leave him hanging even for a little while.

“I won’t die or get pregnant; it’s fine, I say,” he interrupted the other and rubbed his buttocks against the other’s flesh behind the fabric of the pants, teasing it to harden. “I’m ready; I’m still slippery from earlier so you can just push in.”

Their loins were already burning hotly, disallowing them to grit their teeth and bear it without mating again. Even if their bodies were still exhausted, they would fuck in one way or another, not allowing each other to rest as they needed to quench the fire within them.

Slaine’s skin tingled greatly as he felt Inaho’s fingertips obey as they slowly pushed beneath the waistline of the blond’s sweatpants – giving in to the blond’s demands and being swept away by him again. He sighed and leaned his head back against his mate’s shoulder, who kissed and nibbled gently on his neck, and allowed the brunet to pull his sweatpants down to the middle of his thighs again, pulling the underwear down as well.

“Slaine…” he heard Inaho whisper right next to his ear, and the blond smiled pleased and pushed his hands inside his mate’s underwear, pulling the stiffening meat out from behind the clothes and guide it toward his ass that was getting wetter for each breath they gasped.

The cock was hot. It oozed with pre-cum as it prepared the pathways for the seed that would shoot into the blond in a couple of minutes. Sticky threads trailed after his hand when he pulled it away after the alpha’s cock pushed against his wet opening, and he could feel his own secretion drip down from between his legs, soaking his underwear.

“Hahh…” Inaho gasped when he carefully pushed his tip against Slaine’s opening, slowly teasing the flesh apart just slightly without pushing his meat inside his mate. It was slick; the tip rubbed against him and slipped in and out with ease each time the brunet teased the flesh apart.

“Don’t tease…” Slaine complained and attempted to add pressure on the cock to push it inside him, but Inaho pulled his hips away. “Stop…!” the omega complained and felt his mind slowly begin swimming with sexual desire.

“N-not yet,” Inaho gasped and tried to be as collected as possible, but he was falling into a lustful mess by the omega’s pheromones. “It’s still too soft.”

“Then hurry up,” the blond complained and gritted his teeth while his insides were tingling.

Inaho’s hands searched around his hips and took a hold of them where the bones bulged out a little, making them into perfect handles. A wet tongue wetted the omega’s neck all the way up to his ear as his mate was giving way to his instincts to mate, and he urged him to let his last inhibitions go by grabbing him by the waistband of Inaho’s trousers and pulled his hips against him. Like that, the blond teased the cock to stiffen by moving his hips in a wave-like motion and rubbed against it, and Inaho was ready within a couple of seconds.

The young alpha gave up once the omega noticed he was hard enough and let the blond push his body onto his cock with a ragged breath as the warmth of sex finally enveloped him again. Slaine felt the meat push his inner walls apart, slowly reaching deeper inside him and grinding against the sweet spots that made his body quiver and force pleasured whimpers from between his lips. When his buttocks touched Inaho’s loins, he felt how the brunet added more pressure against him and reached just slightly deeper into him, pushing against his cervix.

“Haaagh!” the blond gasped and felt dizzy from the feeling. “More…” he then begged and, with a forceful thrust from his mate’s hips, he fell forward, bending over the bed and supported his body against his arms against the mattress. “Agh!” he exclaimed and then moaned sultrily, carefully beginning to move his hips to coax the alpha into taking him properly. “Fuck me…” he whispered. “Mate with me… Aahhh…”

The alpha’s fingers gripped his hipbones harder and – with a wide smile on the omega’s dangerous lips – pulled his ass hard onto his cock before pulling his hips away, only to thrust into the omega again – and again.

Shivers rushed down Slaine’s spine with each thrust, making his hairs stand on end in painful salute while his body rocked. To feel his fated mate’s flesh within him like this, raw and oozing with pre-cum, gave him a thrill as he was playing with fire once more. He still enjoyed the thought of getting Inaho’s cum inside his womb despite what was going on, and this time he was not shy to let the other know what would make him feel good and expose his body for him. It made his own cock harden until it throbbed painfully and leaked with clear liquid even if he had no testicles to produce any seed, and he raised a hand onto it and began pumping it along with his mate’s thrusts.

“Haahhh!” Hnngh!” he moaned and listened to the alpha’s gasps. “Y-yeah… Just like that,” he encouraged his mate who thrust against something very sweet within him. “Right there! Aaagh! I can … Mmmh! … feel you… Haahhh! S-so good…!”

His outspoken lust seemed to spin his mate’s mind out of control as he began thrusting into him harder. The omega released his voice entirely, moaned and cried out from the sexual stimulus as he was ruthlessly forced closer to the edge of orgasm. Their bodies were already tender from their previous mating, making this session pathetically shorter than expected.

Inaho’s cock swelled some more inside the omega and Slaine’s own did the same. The muscles in the omega’s pelvis contracted horribly, making him lose his breath, before his body jerked and his legs shook as he came with several loud groans spilling out into the room. Because of the sudden tightness inside him, the young alpha was stimulated some more, and Slaine felt the other’s thrust grow so hard their naked skin smacked loudly against each other. This dragged out the omega’s orgasm, who got tears in his eyes and growled:

“Cum inside! Haaagh! D-damn it! Nnnghhh! Cum!”

His commands pushed the young alpha over the edge as well, who slammed his hips against Slaine’s buttocks to shove his cock as deep into him as he could where he would release his seed.

“HAAGHH!” the brunet groaned when cumming, tightening his fingers around Slaine’s hipbones hard enough his nails cut into the pale skin. “AAARGH!”

“Mmmhh…” the omega purred and felt the cock throb within him, pulsing as it pumped the alpha’s seed into him. “Fill me up to the brim… Hahh…” he then whispered and reached his sticky hand behind him to pull his mate’s hips against him as the base of the alpha’s cock began swelling. “Just like that… Give me your knot.” As his flesh was pushed apart and his hole plugged by his mate’s knot to prevent the semen from leaking out – anchoring the brunet firmly inside the blond – he purred happily: “It feels amazing… I wish you could fuck me … like this too. Mmnhhh… I can feel the tip push against my cervix; you’re plugging me real good.”

“If you keep talking like that…” he heard his mate gasp from between gritted teeth. “… I might not be able to pull out of you.”

Slaine – delirious from the sex – chuckled and threw a seductive glance over his shoulder.

“I don’t mind; I got all day…” he purred between his gasps and squeezed down onto the alpha’s cock and knot with his pelvic muscles, skillfully forcing a gasp out of the other. “It’s your fault; you made me fall into heat again by touching me so tenderly.” He watched as his mate winced from the squeezing flesh around his heat. “You like that?” he then said pleased.

Inaho gasped and grunted from the squeezing but he gave no protests, which let Slaine know the brunet had a weak side to him that enjoyed being tickled like this by a bully. Or was it perhaps only with Slaine he was this compliant; to satisfy his demonic nature of a dominant omega? It was rare, Slaine thought as he listened to his alpha gasp from behind gritted teeth, for an alpha to be this submissive and not fight back to maintain their top position even during a vulnerable moment like this; when knotting inside an omega. All the alphas Slaine had fallen victim to had protected their pride during the knotting, slapping him and beating him if he tried to move. Slaine had always been forced to be the submissive one, but now – with Inaho – he was being allowed to have an upper hand even if he was still forced to be the one who would receive a mate even though he was also male. With this added thrill of having a submissive alpha as a partner, he felt more confident than ever before and tickled his nature to dominate in a perverse way.

When he decided to give his mate some room to breathe, he relaxed his pelvic muscles and heard the brunet gasp from relief before he answered the blond:

“You’re awfully confident like this.”

Again, the omega laughed lightly in a devious manner and licked his lips.

“Of course; fucking is what I’m good at.”

“That, and piloting a Sky Carrier,” came the unexpected answer.

This time, it made a genuine chuckle burst out from between his lips as he heard the ridiculous comment, but his mate was quick to hush him as the vibrations from his laughter was too much for the alpha’s already sore flesh that was still buried inside him.

“I’m sorry,” Slaine said with a smile and stood perfectly still, bent over the bed, to give his mate a chance to collect himself. “Your answer was unexpected.”

A gentle hand brushed him through his hair, and the omega’s thoughts stilled as he enjoyed the caressing fingers. This was so new to him, to be given adoring attention and be pampered like this without the forceful pinches and hard slaps. It made him relax in a different way than he was used to, making it feel strange and awkward again, but he let the brunet know he was ready to accept it by raising his head just slightly to push it against the palm of his hand.

For the first time in his grownup life, he dared to say that he was at least a little bit happy after taking the step to make this familiar former enemy into his mate. Even if they had bonded just a couple of hours ago, and even if he had resisted him until the very moment before the bond, Slaine understood that all the work Inaho had done to make the omega trust him had paid off.

They were far from a harmonious unit; they had a lot of obstacles in their way that would make them both crumble and cry – mostly all because of Slaine’s inability to answer to Inaho’s care – but if Slaine continued giving the brunet chances to show what kind of mate he could be, then he was sure they could be happy anyway even in the long run. He had to learn to trust the young alpha before their togetherness could become as intimate as it could be between fated mates; he was not ready to say he loved him, but he felt something great for the other that made him want to try – that he could not deny. Whether it was the bonding itself or something other, he discovered it did not matter the slightest as long as he was happy – and to be happy, his mate had to be happy, too.

“I don’t regret it,” the omega whispered. “Not yet at least.”

“What?” his mate asked, and Slaine swallowed hard as they were speaking during this intimate moment, with the alpha’s knot inside the omega.

Again, Slaine felt like resisting the intimacy, but he pushed on as he knew it was important to convey what he thought about them bonding.

“That we bonded,” the blond clarified. “I might sound like I’m greedy and a hypocrite – and perhaps I am – but I don’t mind us being bonded.”

“You rejected me quite harshly,” the brunet said, and Slaine felt a pang of guilt and lowered his head in shame.

“I know…” he mumbled, licking his lips from feeling awkward and vulnerable. “And I’m sorry… I’m just terrified of letting someone close. It was like putting a gun in your hand and giving up my freedom.”

“I’m not holding you captive or as a hostage, Slaine,” the brunet said sincerely, and the blond nodded.

“I know. It took a while for me to understand that, and I’m really sorry for everything I did to you.” Slowly he decided to be brave and, hesitantly, he turned his head to look over his shoulder and met his mate’s gaze. The blond frowned from exposing his face to the other like this, saying it again: “I’m really sorry I hurt you. You did everything right, and I did everything wrong, and yet you stayed. I feel quite ungrateful…”

“I told you there’s no need to apologize,” Inaho said and tilted his head somewhat, looking at the omega with slight confusion.

Slaine felt the knot’s swelling slowly begin to go down inside him, making him feel disappointed as their moment was importantly intimate like this; he wished Inaho would knot in him for a little while more so he could grow used to this feeling.

“I know, but I have to. Even if words have little meaning I still have to ask for forgiveness, and I’ll even prove to you how sincere I am by doing what I can to make this bond work,” he said and turned his head away from the brunet while feeling the disappointment grow as the knot disappeared. He was starting to feel lonely, and again he discovered a reason to why he rejected intimacy. He was scared of being rejected or left alone. “I just want you to know I didn’t bond with you because I had no choice…” he whispered, not looking at his mate.

The moment Inaho’s knot had disappeared, the young alpha pulled out of the omega who gasped as his flesh was sore as well. Slaine pulled his pants up and felt the sperm slip out of him the moment he stood up from his bent position, and he frowned from the sticky feeling he was all too used to.

Then, he took a step back from the brunet, toward the corner next to the bed, hugging his body as he felt shame.

“When Asseylum was guiding me away after asking for my children, I felt how wrong it was to follow her. I was so confused and didn’t know if I was allowed to deny her request of spending my life in her shadow, but when you showed up with your sister I instantly knew I had to reject her.” He bit his lower lip and chewed on it for a while, knowing how badly he had behaved. Inaho watched him in silence, waiting for what the blond would say next. “I was too busy surviving,” the blond continued with a whisper. “I didn’t understand it before she came to take me away that we had already started something, you and me. When I saw you look at me like you begged me not to go with her and hesitated to stop me, I knew I could not hesitate any longer and instead be brave; _I_ had to let _you_ know I wanted to be with you even if I cannot yet say that I love you.”

“What about running away?” Inaho whispered, and Slaine frowned.

“An impulse,” the blond answered. “I’ve been tormented in this prison for so long, and when the world was presented to me I could not stop myself from running. I’ve always been independent,” he continued whispering. “And I’m still new to there being another soul next to me; to have someone walking beside me.”

“You have something called an anxious-avoidant attachment style according to the psychologist,” the brunet said, and Slaine raised his head to look at him from bewilderment. “It comes from how you were brought up and how your relationships looked like when you were a child. Your father gave you little care, only at times when he was strong enough to do that, and you were forced to survive mostly on your own. The relationships with people around you were just momentary, as you got them torn when your father moved again and again, never giving you a chance to properly attach yourself to someone who could give you emotional care that he couldn’t. You also learned to yield to others, that your only worth came from being obedient and not ask for too much. I dare to assume your father yelled at you when you cried for his attention when he had a bad day, didn’t he?” Slaine drew in a sharp breath and stared at the brunet with a heart that slowly began to ache from the truth being spoken so bluntly. “And in the end you stopped crying, right?” his mate asked carefully.

A tear fell from Slaine’s right eye and dripped down from his cheek as the echoes of his father’s anger were dragged out from a slumbering memory, making him feel how real the hurt had been when he had been a child.

“How did you…?” he asked, wondering how Inaho had learned about it as he had not written any details about his relationship with his father in the notebook.

“It’s not uncommon with parents who are facing difficult moments in life – especially with parents having some kind of mental illness. They want to care for their child, but they’re unable to as they’re easily overwhelmed by the depression and the parental musts,” the brunet said, and Slaine shook his head and whimpered.

“Stop…” he whispered as a thick lump formed in his throat again.

It hurt.

“Because of this, and your experiences in Vers, you became independent and turned your obedience into aggression the moment you learned you didn’t need to be obedient, and you also thought you didn’t need other people to survive. Yet, you want someone to give you worth, finding that worth from having sex with others, but you’re too afraid to depend on anyone as you think you’ll only get hurt by doing that. It’s easier to just use and be used by others under your conditions, and then reject them once you feel threatened, right?” Slaine stared at him, shocked from having his thoughts and emotions being explained by the spot-on description Inaho gave him. “That’s why I was resolute. I knew you had this problem and that it would take a lot for you to trust me. That alone kept me from giving you up entirely, so you should be grateful to the psychologist who informed me about this; without him I would have gone out through the door when you rejected me in the infirmary two days ago.”

Slaine took a shaky breath before he slumped down onto the bed. He sat on the edge and bent over to cry against his hands and hide from his mate’s observing look. So many things could have gone incredibly wrong, and yet they had not because of the people around him had put out safety nets for him to fall into when slipping. Why had he failed to see this? How could he have been this blind?

‘ _I’m such an idiot!_ ’ he cursed and whimpered while his hands were soaked by his tears.

“I’m so sorry,” he cried. “I’ve been so cruel!”

“You were lost and tried to survive,” his mate said gently and hands took a hold of Slaine’s wrists. “No one can blame you for that. I too have problems from my childhood, but they are very different to yours and something I will have to deal with and share with you once you’re ready,” he continued somewhere in front of him, and Slaine allowed him to pull his hands down from his face. Inaho was sitting on his knees in front of him, looking up at him. “I want to believe we can pull through this, and I know you will have difficulties of growing to love me, but as long as you let me I want to keep trying until I succeed making you fall in love with me.”

Slaine whimpered from the touching words, unable to understand why the other would say such beautiful words to him after all that he had done, and he sighed:

“I think I already am…”

“And I want you to know you’re allowed to; you’re allowed to love someone who loves you too. You don’t need to chase after someone anymore, because I’m right here. I’m sorry for all the wrongs I have done to you by not saving you earlier, but I will try my utmost to make you know you have not chosen the wrong person to put your trust in.”

With a sharp breath and after a brief exchange of glances, the blond pulled his wrists free from his mate’s. Instead, he proceeded with taking the brunet’s hands into his and let them rest in his lap while he cried. No words came to mind, as all he could do was to hold the other’s hands to let him know how much he appreciated and admired his stubbornness and endurance.

“I love you, Slaine Troyard,” his fated mate whispered, making the wobbly young heart want to stand up again to attempt walking along with his mate’s anew.


	19. The Homemaker

“So, you’re one of the rare lucky few who found your fated mate, huh?”

The doctor was dabbing a calming ointment onto the swollen bite marks left by his mate on his neck, partly to soothe the sensitive skin and partly to keep the few wounds moist. The blond winced as the bruises from his mate’s bites ached now and then during the caring of the area, but he gritted his teeth and endured it, asking:

“You knew about it as well?”

The doctor smiled and put a compress over the bite marks on either side of his neck – fastening it with medical tape – and answered:

“The obstetrician told me this morning after he got the news from Miss Kaizuka. I must congratulate you. To have found your fated mate… That’s something.” As he finished dressing the wounds, Slaine looked up at him as he tidied away the utilities. “Even though I’m a beta, I feel kind of jealous,” the doctor then said with a friendly smile.

The doctor’s reaction to the bond was unfamiliar to the blond omega, who had only been taught the bond was something that was absolutely forbidden between him and an alpha because _he_ was inferior being than an alpha. Now, the unconscious beliefs of him being a grain of dirt that would only sully an alpha if bonded with was being challenged, making him notice how much he had been brainwashed on Castle Cruhteo to begin with. After the slowly growing support among the personnel, Slaine had begun to feel like he had completely misunderstood the importance of a fated mate; he had not known it would be perceived with this kind of admiration and support from others, and despite the surprise, it felt strangely good.

Ever since stepping out into the corridors of this building after a lazy morning, after spending a ritualistic and nearly sleepless night with Inaho in the personnel bedroom with the small bed, people had behaved strangely. He had obediently followed his mate down the corridors leading him down into the basement to see the doctor, as the bite marks had become red and swollen, and noticed how everyone he met lowered their gazes as they walked by. Some had thrown brief glances at him, but no one had said a word to him or stopped him while walking this freely next to the brunet. A hint of nostalgia had washed over him at this; it had felt similar to how people had bowed to him when he had been a count – something, he noticed now, he did not fully enjoy – like he had completely grown apart from the count he had been.

Once Inaho had left him at the doctor’s to tend to business concerning his bond to the omega who was still legally a prisoner, Slaine had come to suspect the entire personnel knew about him and Inaho bonding, and that perhaps this was the reason to their strange behavior.

Now, after sitting here in the infirmary after letting the doctor clean and pamper his wounds and being congratulated, he noticed he had had this strange form of calm within him. It had begun ever since he had woken up. It was so much different to what he was used to that he was at a loss for what to do with this tranquility. For how many years had he fought for his life or been on edge? He could almost – just almost – say he had never felt this calm before ever since he was born. Even though it was strange and unfamiliar – feeling nearly like an emotionally chaotic quietude – he enjoyed it as he was allowed to relax and breathe in a way he had been unable to up until now. In a way, though, he wondered if he was allowed to feel like this, and he felt somewhat paranoid of a setback or reversion in this friendly atmosphere that surrounded him today; he had never been allowed to keep something he loved or enjoyed.

How long was he allowed to be happy this time?

“Thank you…” he mumbled to the doctor, finding it easier to be court toward the man who had finished dressing his sacred wounds now that he felt this calm.

The doctor threw a long glance at him for having gotten a friendly answer from the usually silent or hostile prisoner, before he sat down onto the chair next to the desk in the infirmary. Slaine watched him write something on the computer from where he sat on the examination table and waited for what was to come next.

It was ten to eleven o’clock in the forenoon, and the morning had been fittingly beautiful with a pleasant sun peeking through the trees. Slaine had woken up next to a young man he had never woken up with before after sleeping tightly snuggled up against him due to the smallness of their bed. They had slept thigh against thigh – a quite intimate gesture according to the inexperienced blond – that had left a pale crimson mark on both of them where their skins had been connected, like a shared mark born from their clumsy affection during the night.

Slaine had sat up after noticing the unusual brightness in the room pouring in through the window above the bed, and had watched the sun ever since he had woken up while Inaho had still been asleep – exhausted from the night’s activities. He had followed its course as it had risen from behind the horizon with such attention he had registered its slow movements with the naked eye by following the line between light and shadow of the trees on the yard outside. This peaceful moment had been free from pollutions thoughts and ponder would bring, as he had been spellbound by the beauty of the morning sun.

He had not seen the sun like this for many months, and while his mate had been sleeping soundlessly next to him on the small bed, Slaine had watched the world come alive for the first time ever since he had left Earth as a child. The way the light was scattered by the treetops… How the dispersing clouds had been lit up to look like gold… The birds waking up and flying from branch to branch between the trees, some chasing another while others gazed over the area next to each other… It had looked like a fairytale had come to life right before his eyes; his time in space and in this suffocating isolation had made him forget how breathtaking the world could be, and he had been filled with gratitude and humbleness from realizing he was in a world that still turned after all the horrors he had done.

The world was not dead; it was still perfectly alive.

When Slaine had been taken to the infirmary to get his bite marks treated, Inaho had left to announce his and Slaine’s bond to Asseylum and UE. The blond wondered what he was doing at the moment – if he was still speaking to the empress – and how Asseylum and UE had reacted to the news; they had gotten Asseylum’s blessing, but UE on the other hand had had different plans for him all this time. How had they taken the news? How much had Asseylum affected their acceptance? She had said to speak to UE yesterday after all.

“You have an appointment with the psychologist in ten minutes,” said the doctor and woke Slaine from his thoughts of his mate. “Feeling up for it?”

To the doctor’s surprise, Slaine nodded.

He had promised the brunet that he would do what he could to make their bond work. Despite they had bonded and felt harmonious at this moment, Slaine rationally feared the honeymoon would be over soon if he did not learn how to accept another person into his broken little world and let them help him fix it. To have someone kind to share his thoughts, feelings and body with was new to him and even frightening as he now suddenly had to learn how to cope with his shortcomings in order to build a stable relationship with his mate and hopefully love him in the future. They were bonded for life and death; he had to honor his duty as a bonded mate – not because he had no choice, but because he cared.

“Splendid,” the man said with hesitation, trying to read Slaine’s body language to see if the young man was faking his compliant attitude.

“I won’t do anything,” Slaine assured him with a slight hint of frustration despite the calmness that harbored within him. He understood the man head learned to distrust him after all that he had done, but it was annoying nonetheless as Slaine had only been mistrusted ever since he had been taken here; the wariness had been one of the main sources to his aggression to begin with. “I promise,” he then sighed and hung his head slightly from tiredness.

“A-all right,” the doctor mumbled. “Well then, if there’s nothing more I can do for you, then I’ll call for the guards to take you to the-“

The door opened in the middle of his sentence, causing both the doctor and Slaine to flinch from the sudden and unexpected intrusion, and Yuki stepped in with a look that told Slaine she was relieved over something and was bursting with a need to share this relief with someone:

“No, you won’t call any guards,” she said the moment she appeared, interrupting the man. “Mr. Kaizuka just spoke with the empress,” she continued, and Slaine’s heart began beating with hard thumps now that he was receiving news about Asseylum’s reaction to him and Inaho as a fated pair. “She has spoken with UE and the Swiss government, and it’s been decided this building and the area that belongs to it falls under Vers’ jurisdiction from hereon after.”

There was a brief silence in the room as the news took a whole to settle, before…:

“W-what?” the doctor exclaimed, but Slaine knew exactly what Yuki was talking about.

The shock was absolute.

‘ _Swiss government?_ ’ he also noted into his memory.

So they were in Switzerland?

“It means this is an extraterritorial sovereign territory of Vers,” Yuki explained and looked at the doctor and then at Slaine with a smile. “You’re under Empress Asseylum Vers Allusia’s direct care, Slaine; you have been on Versian territory since midnight.”

The blond took a deep breath.

Relief.

It felt like a heavy stone had fallen from his chest, like he could breathe without worry. Or rather, he knew he could relax considerately now that he knew who was governing his stay in this building and that he would not be harmed anymore by strangers. Then again, it was such a shock he could not understand it as he had never been properly out of harm’s way before. What power did Asseylum have to have convinced the Swiss government to give up this spot of land this quickly?

‘ _Because she can relieve them of the burden that I am?_ ’ he wondered.

“There are minor juridical circumstances for us who work for the UE to tend to,” she said after turning toward the doctor. “She will call us all to a meeting this afternoon at two o’clock to speak to us about what happens to us now that Vers owns this area.” Once the doctor nodded, the woman turned toward Slaine again. “Nao’s already busy preparing things as we speak; a lot of changes will be done in here. He’ll be with you once it’s all done, but that might take a couple of hours.” The blond nodded to let her know he heard what she said, and watched her smile and nod toward the door to prompt him to leave, saying: “You have an appointment in a couple of minutes, right? I think you know the way there yourself.”

Slaine blinked and could hardly understand what she said. Was he supposed to go to the psychologist by himself? The man was in a room at the other end of the basement, and since the house was a large one he expected there to be plenty of locked doors and guards to stop him.

After he had hesitated for a while, the dark-haired woman rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

“Get on with it; you don’t got all day!” she said and nodded toward the door again.

“I don’t understand…” Slaine said carefully and looked toward the doctor for answers, who seemed just as clueless as he.

“The empress’s first order was to open up this house; all the doors inside this building are to be unlocked, except for the doors into rooms that represent things you normally don’t get access to as a citizen of a nation after closing hours, like this infirmary that represents a healthcare center. The doors leading outside are still to be locked for safety reasons for a while more until the empress has decided what to do with this place,” Yuki explained and encouraged him: “There are no locked doors and no guards to stop you on your way to the psychologist, who’s waiting for you in the usual room. Get over there immediately so you don’t waste your therapy time.”

Slaine hesitated. It was somewhat frightening to suddenly move in the corridors alone without anyone to tell him where to go. To even leave the room alone by stepping out through the door without a guard was difficult. He needed further encouragement from Yuki before he dared to venture out into the stone corridor, and she closed the door behind him to leave him alone out there – probably to talk to the doctor about whatever juridical problems they had now that this land had changed owners.

So, this was Versian territory now? He looked down to his feet which were tucked inside black canvas shoes, the usual ones he had gotten to wear in here. The floor beneath him was a part of Vers, and it felt awkward to once again have his feet planted to Versian soil. It was even stranger that this territory was not even on Vers; it was on Earth.

The silence in the corridor was deafening, just like he could remember it; it had sounded just the same in his cell, which was not too far away from here. This tickled his interest to go and see his old cell and see how it looked like, and – hesitantly – he moved his legs toward the direction of his former confinement. He met the door that parted the corridor into two sections and found that it was unlocked; it opened like usual and he stepped through it and closed it quietly.

The corridor was perfectly silent, and his steps were the only source of sound as he moved toward the cell. Sneaking around like this made him feel like a rebel; he was not sure he was still allowed to go here, but the urge had been too great.

The bars came into view and he held his breath. Then, as he stepped up to the corner and looked around it and into the cell, he saw the bed and furniture there – silently standing where they had been left. The bed was empty of the mattress and linen, though, and the blood had been washed away.

It looked like it would never be used again, like it was abandoned.

He released his breath and inhaled deeply, leaning against the wall behind him next to the bars and closed his eyes. This cell was behind him; he would never need to step inside it again, and he would reject it for as long as he lived and despise it for all eternity.

After standing there for a little while – not too long as he dared not to – he turned back to where he had come from and walked down the corridor once again but this time in the opposite direction. He came to the interrogation room and looked at the podium where the chairs and table stood, remembering back to yesterday’s horrible mistake of agreeing with the empress’s request to go with her to Vers. Immediately, he tore his sight away from it and walked over to the other side of the room, to the next door. After opening it, the familiar corridor came into view that would lead him to the psychologist, and – after hesitating for a breath – he stepped inside it and closed the door.

“Good forenoon,” the psychologist said when Slaine peeked through the open and welcoming door inside the therapy room further down the corridor. “Have a seat, Troyard.”

αβΩ

“I’ve just talked to the doctor about being hired by Vers. He seemed to not have anything against the idea,” he heard his sister say the moment she stepped into the room on the second floor of the house.

“Good. And what about Slaine?” the brunet asked, and Yuki chuckled.

“I gave him some independence by shooing him away to the psychologist on his own; he was so confused when he was allowed to go there without a guard to accompany him. I didn’t follow him, but I think he went there,” she said and looked at the brunet who was dragging a table down the small hall and into a large room at the other end of the building.

Inaho had just had a conversation with the empress. It had been quick and painless, much like he had expected it to, and she had congratulated him and Slaine and promised them her support. The news of the building and area to have been given to Vers after her determined request had been surprising. Seylum had asked the Swiss government to hand it over to her after getting her request to become the main governor of Slaine’s imprisonment granted after a heated argument with UE. Because of the sensitive political atmosphere between Earth and Vers, UE had – in the end – bowed to her willful demand.

Inaho was still to get a hold of his superior at UE and notify them about what he had done. He had been unable to however, as his superior was busy in a meeting about the transfer of responsibility was taking its time, and Inaho had to wait for an hour or two until the meeting was over to try again. He was sure he would be fired and prosecuted, and he had expressed this worry to Seylum, who had immediately promised him political support and refuge in this building if needed; now that this area belonged to Vers, it would be considered an act of war to trespass on another nation’s territory with military and arrest the brunet without Seylum’s permission.

“I told him you’ll be busy now during the day. Are you sure you’ll do this alone?” asked the sister who followed him and the table.

“I have to. I’m his mate now,” the brunet said and pulled the table into what he had planned to be a living room, trying to fulfill his duty by preparing a home for his mate to enjoy. “I need help to carry things up the stairs later, but right now I’ll arrange the furniture that’s up here.”

Yuki smiled a wry smile while watching her brother tussle with the heavy table, and then chuckled.

“I guess you won’t have to search for a cheaper apartment now after your salary was cut,” she said and seemed a little jealous. “I wish I could live in a huge house like this.”

“You still work for UFE; they need their warrant officer back now that the remaining loyalists in their Landing Castles on Earth are to be taken into custody,” the brunet said, and Yuki sighed.

“Yeah… Your _boyfriend_ managed to get some loyalists all right; they’ve been fighting endlessly,” she said and pulled her hair out of her eyes, teasing her brother by adding emphasis to the word she selected to refer to Slaine. “UFE will perform a joint attack in three weeks to take down their last defenses; the loyalists are running out of supplies.”

“You’ll be participating in it?” Inaho asked, and his sister bobbed her head from side to side like she had not decided yet.

“I guess. Since I won’t be needed here anymore, I will send them my request to transfer back to my previous position, so they’ll probably send me out there for the last fight,” she said and sighed while scratching her head awkwardly, continuing: “I never thought I would say this, but I’ll miss your orders out there.”

“After contacting my superior you can consider me as retired. Be careful,” the brother said, still dragging the heavy table, with its legs screeching against the old but well-kept wooden floor.

Yuki let him continue battling the heavy table and instead looked around in the different rooms. There were five bedrooms and a large bathroom, and opposite of it – on the other side of the hall – was a small toilet with a shower in its small corner. The mansion must have been the home to a large and rich family before the war, and had been abandoned ever since UE had taken it under their ownership to make it into a prison where they could keep Slaine. Inaho remembered the building to have been completely empty with thick layers of dust on the floor and other surfaces before it had been cleaned and filled with office furniture.

Now that Seylum had abolished the prison activity here the mansion was to be made into a home for the fated pair with healthcare service and other useful social services housed in the basement. Floor one and two were completely to the fated pair’s disposal, and Inaho was now busy fulfilling his duty to prepare the second floor for his mate with the little furniture they had – and also to calm the heat he was constantly close to falling into.

“So…” Yuki sung after checking all the rooms. “How was it?”

“Was what?” the brunet asked and finally got the table into position in the middle of the large room. He dried sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of the hoodie he wore.

“Oh, you know,” his sister said with a teasing voice. “I’ve never been with an omega before, and I have never bonded either. Tell me all the juicy details!”

“No,” Inaho said immediately and looked at her, and she pouted childishly and whined:

“Why?!”

“It’s very personal,” the brunet said.

“Oh, you prude!” she cried out and then smiled mischievously, playfully teasing him some more: “Then I’ll ask him; I’m sure Slaine will tell me everything.”

“He probably will,” Inaho answered frankly, suspecting Slaine would not keep anything a secret once he was allowed to boast about his conquests.

Yuki had apparently not expected such an agreeing answer, as she squeaked from surprise:

“Huh?”

“He’s very proud of what he can do to an alpha; I’m sure he’ll welter in the attention he’ll get once he’s warmed up to you a little more,” Inaho said and walked past his sister to get the chairs that had been standing around the table.

“He’s a deviant like that?” Yuki asked surprised and followed him. “I had no idea!”

“He’s aggressive when in heat,” Inaho explained to her, letting her know about his mate’s behavior from the time before she had come to work in this prison.

“He is?! I never knew; he seems so timid and all as far as I know,” she said and took a hold of the chair closest to her after deciding to help Inaho carry the chairs one by one out of the previous conference room. “Was he aggressive with you?”

“I was scared throughout the entire time after he pushed me down and before I got to properly bite him. Then, during the night, he refused to let me go,” Inaho answered, deciding to lean on his sister at least a little for some support as he felt troubled over his mate’s inability to be emotionally invested in the act of mating.

Slaine had nearly forced himself on Inaho during the night without concern for the brunet’s need for pure intimacy. It was like Slaine was unable to mate without turning aggressive, like he was protecting himself from becoming too vulnerable in an already vulnerable situation. Because Inaho knew Slaine’s sexual behavior was founded in his troubles from the past, he had gone along with it and let Slaine take what he had wanted from him; Inaho had not denied him anything, leaving him in the position of a sacrifice.

Yuki gave him a frowning smile, like she was not sure if she should laugh or feel sorry for him.

“Had I not known you, I would have not believed you were scared considering you say that with such a straight face,” she pointed out. “Watch out, Nao. I get a feeling he’s one of those female spiders that beheads the male after mating.”

“It’s a mantis, not a spider, but some spiders are known for sexual cannibalism where the female eats the male after mating,” the brunet corrected her and also taking her clumsy warning to heart; he had to admit he was not happy with the mating he had shared with Slaine, but he could not complain about it either. Or … he thought he was not allowed to, as Slaine had been the one to suffer horrors in the hands of other alphas.

‘ _Am I not allowed to ask for something different because I’m an alpha as well?_ ’ he wondered, knowing full well he was not like those who had forced themselves on his mate. Despite that, he could not help but to feel stamped by other alphas’ cruelty, disallowing him to even bring up the problem of the aggressive sex to discussion. He feared his mate would draw parallels between Inaho and other alphas and feel cornered again, like Inaho was trying to rule over him just like the alphas in the blond’s past. ‘ _I don’t want that; I want him to understand I would never do that to him_ ,’ he thought and, at the same time, realizing he had fallen into the trap of a dysfunctional relationship. ‘ _I will have to bend for him, don’t I?_ ’

Yuki rolled her eyes from annoyance from hearing her brother be a wiseacre yet again:

“Oh, even better!” she exclaimed and almost stumbled on the door frame on the floor while they moved the first set of chairs into the living room before putting them down next to the table. “Listen… He didn’t become a count for nothing, you know. He’s scary, I’m sure.”

“He’s not a mantis or a spider; he’s a human,” Inaho assured her, keeping his fears secret for now until he had figured out what to do with them. “And he seems to have accepted me as his mate. I feel synchronized with him despite everything; I feel confident we’ll have a good life because he seems willing in trying to make it work.”

“He wants kids too?” Yuki asked somewhat hopefully, and Inaho nodded.

“I get the feeling he does, yes, even though he probably needs some time to get over past wounds and mature in the idea of having a child. When in heat, his instincts are shown in the words he chooses when he talks.”

Yuki’s eyes widened and blushed heavily:

“He talks when in heat? He’s a dirty-talker?!” she asked and hid her mouth behind her hands.

Inaho silently turned to stare at his sister, warning her from asking too much as he believed the details of what he and Slaine did during intimate moments were their business alone at least for now, until Slaine had had his say in this. Inaho did not care about being prude for his own interests; he simply wanted to respect his mate’s integrity while also being allowed to speak to his sister about the relationship he had entered.

She seemed to accept this as his expression probably was broadcasting his message to her all too clearly, and she lowered her hands from her mouth and cleared her throat.

“Sorry… I was just shocked and excited at the same time that perhaps I’ll get a little niece in the future,” she said and lowered her head a little. “W-well, I’ll leave you to the refurbishing. Call me and the others if you need help; we’ll be preparing for the video meeting with the empress on the floor below.”

He nodded and watched her hurry away down the stair, and then he took a deep breath and walked into the office which had been used by the warden before he had been fired. There were still papers everywhere that needed to be archived and carried down into the basement now that the mansion was to be remade into a home. He was sure, however, the UE would burn the documents the moment they got their hands on them, refusing to risk a leakage of proof that the former Count Saazbaum Troyard was still alive.

‘ _Slaine…_ ’ he thought and closed his eyes, imagining his mate’s warmth against his skin. It had been blissful to wake up to a mate next to him for the first time this morning, and even if he was exhausted from the night’s activities – feeling a dull ache in his back and loins amongst some areas of his body – he felt blessed to finally be allowed to share his time with his fated mate. ‘ _Will you be happy in here like this?_ ’

He had a moment earlier – right after the call to the empress – consulted with the obstetrician who would pay Slaine a visit after the psychologist appointment now that the fated mates had bonded. The brunet had been worried about Slaine’s health now that they had had unprotected sex. The omega was still bleeding from the miscarriage even though it was not as rich as the alpha had expected, and Inaho had felt worried for whatever risks it might cause even though Slaine had said it was all right. He had not been thinking clearly during yesterday’s and the night’s heats, but – this morning as he had woken up to find his mate bathing in the rays of the rising sun – he had been able to keep his head cool enough to stop himself from falling into heat again the moment he and Slaine had exchanged their good-mornings, as the worry over his mate’s health had taken over. In time, his acute heats would calm down and be less troublesome than they were now.

The obstetrician had not been too concerned about the fated mates mating and had explained why he did not follow the recommendations of International Health Organization concerning omega’s reproductive health after a miscarriage and forbidden Slaine from mating. Apparently, the recommendations had been based on deficient biological notions that still lived on from a time that did not take an omega’s sexuality seriously, living on not because research had proved these old notions to be true – rather the opposite – but because omegas still today were stamped with ideas of asexuality when they were not in heat – like their sexual needs and the psychological benefits physical touch would give did not matter. In fact, he had told Inaho the brunet had done the right thing in Slaine’s moment of crisis; giving him physical touch.

This had calmed the brunet somewhat, but he had not relieved himself of the troubles he had over his mate’s sexual behavior; he wanted to give Slaine a chance to work with his problems first before mixing a third person into it unless Slaine expressed this need himself.

‘ _We will be happy, right?_ ’ Inaho wondered and turned to get another chair from the conference room.

αβΩ

The air was still stiff and strange inside the room – just like it had always been – but what was not like it had always been was the furniture; it was arranged differently than he remembered.

Usually Slaine and the psychologist sat on either side of a small and round table in each corner all the way back in the room. That way, the psychologist could have the blond under observation in case he would turn aggressive. From there, Slaine would stare at a small desk with a computer pushed up against the wall behind the door opposite of him at the other end of the room, and a small shelf with books about psychology that was mounted to the wall to his right. On the wall opposite of the shelf – to his left and next to the psychologist – a small whiteboard was fastened to the wall.

This time, however, he found himself staring at the right wall as the chairs were turned back to back, with the psychologist sitting behind him. The small table had been placed in front of the blond, on which a couple of arcs of blank paper lay beneath a pen.

“I’m glad you came here willingly,” the man said behind him. The air was still stiff around him; like he was a true professional that making him feel robotic. “I wasn’t too sure you would come now that you’re allowed to move around on your own, so thank you for coming.”

Slaine pressed his lips together and squeezed the fabric of his pants with slender fingers, and took a deep breath:

“The chairs…” he said quietly but went silent.

“Ah, yes,” the man said. “I have noticed you are not entirely comfortable with me being able to see you, which made me think a little of making an experiment like this, with our backs against each other. If you need to distract yourself, you have a pen and some paper to do what you want with. Would you like that, or should we arrange the furniture back to how they were?”

The blond had to be honest and admit this was somewhat of a relief. To be constantly observed was exhausting – especially when he was not used to talking about his emotions and going through his life narration like he was supposed to in this room. To cry or show any other emotion that could be viewed as disgraceful disallowed him to be honest during these sessions, as his pride was still strong but also very fragile.

“How about we let go of your life narration for a while and talk about the bond and everything that has happened recently?” the man suggested behind him after a while of silence; Slaine had forgotten to answer as he felt nervous of the change in the room.

“S-sure,” the blond whispered and pulled his legs up onto the chair to sit comfortably like a tailor.

“I got the news you have bonded with Inaho Kaizuka.”

“Y-yes…” he mumbled and stared at the blank papers in front of him.

He felt feverish from embarrassment that the news had already reached all the people involved with him; that the prideful Slaine Troyard had given in and been marked. Even if he did not mind being bonded – not yet at least – he still had a childish feeling of pride to be different from everyone else of his kind.

“And how does that make you feel?” the psychologist asked, and Slaine pressed his lips together and dropped his gaze to his hands in his lap.

How did he feel? He had not properly thought about it yet, but thus far he had felt happy. But why did he have to answer such questions? It felt trivial; what business did others have with how he felt about it? The psychologist’s question felt intrusive somehow. Then again, he had promised his mate to accept the help he got to make this new life with a mate work, and perhaps this question had some relevance after all? It was crucial he took these sessions seriously, as his main problems did not reside in his body, but in his head.

“Calm,” he mumbled as he decided to give in and answer, hoping there was a point in talking about all this. “I don’t feel as angry anymore as I did before.”

“Is that so?” the man answered and continued: “Why don’t you feel as angry?”

Again, the blond had to think.

“I don’t really know…” he said and continued thinking.

“If we go back in time, to a week ago, what made you feel angry at the time?” the man asked, and again Slaine had to think.

That point in time was not too long after he had argued with Yuki. What had he felt and thought back then? It was strange to go back to that time – even if it was just seven days ago – and try to remember things he had already put behind him. It was like digging up a grave. Back then, he had been angry about being accused of hurting Inaho because he was his fated mate; an omega. Back then, all the problems he had had, had been because he was an omega in a world of hungry alphas. Now, he was still an omega, but he…

“Right now,” he said and decided to be a little bit honest, testing these unknown waters in a careful manner. “It feels like no one will be angry at me for being an omega. I don’t need to worry about being abused as I know who my mating partner will be.”

“And how does it feel to know who your mate is?” the man asked, and Slaine sighed as he felt the question to be a little too intimate:

“You should know after all that I’ve been through; you’ve been trying to probe my head for a long time,” the blond argued, and the psychologist excused himself:

“I’m not trying to probe anything out of you. I’m trying to help you recognize your emotions and feelings so you can understand yourself a little better. I’m not personally invested in you that I need to know what you’re thinking; I’m just a tool for you to use to get better. That is why I ask all these questions, and the only reason why they’re annoying is because you have to confirm and talk about hard truths that are difficult for you to handle. Am I right?”

Slaine went silent for a while. The man was right on track, he had to admit that. Now that he got the psychologist’s role defined for him – that he was just a tool and not someone interested in probing in his head – he calmed down somewhat. Earlier, he had felt annoyed and irritated, always thought the man had a perverse interest in knowing what was going on inside the omega’s head and even thought with paranoia that the man had been interested because Slaine was the former tyrant of the second Earth-Mars War. Now, however, it turned out he had complicated the situation a little too much with no valid reason.

The blond took a deep breath, slumping his shoulders as he gave up:

“I feel safe,” he said quietly. “Not completely of course, because how could I?, but at least I can start to believe no one will come to hurt me.”

“Considering what has been done to you, what do you feel about mating with your mate?” the man asked, and Slaine frowned as the question felt even more intrusive.

“It’s…” Slaine mumbled and thought, trying to collect his bravery. “We had a talk about it yesterday,” he said instead, deciding he should put his and Inaho’s differences in mating into words: “I think … after everything that has been done to me that I-“ He made a pause as he felt how his heart suddenly tightened in his chest, and he took a slow and inaudible, deep breath to not give his worry free rein. “He’s probably the normal one of us,” he continued in a somewhat disoriented manner. “He enjoys intimacy while I … don’t…”

The psychologist waited for a while to see if Slaine decided to continue, and the silence dragged on for what felt like an eternity while Slaine began to feel guilt over being a person with so many issues. He was certain Inaho was not enjoying their mating because of the omega’s aggressive nature.

“How so?” he finally heard from behind him, and the blond took another deep breath – this time a loud one.

“I think I’m unable to be intimate with him; to not be aggressive,” he said silently and reached for a sheet of paper on the table in front of him. He began mindlessly folding it, beginning with folding it right in the middle, long side against long side. “Now that I have to think about it, I can’t mate with him without flat out bully him.”

“Bully him?”

The blond opened the folded paper and folded it again, this time top against bottom on its short sides, and said:

“Shove him around, bite him, claw at him, say mean things like I’m trying to dominate him, and always being the one in control…” Slaine folded in the corners, lining them against the crease in the middle of the folded paper. “He doesn’t enjoy that, but I don’t know how else to mate; I get a thrill from it but loose interest the moment things become serious.”

The psychologist cleared his throat and asked with a slightly more serious tone:

“What do you think this need of control gives you?”

Suddenly, the omega felt a desperate need to shut down; to not say a word. Instead of letting that happen – knowing how important these sessions would be for his and Inaho’s sake – he folded up the bottom parts of the paper on either side of the little cone he had made, and mumbled:

“I don’t know.” He folded in the narrow rectangle-shaped parts he had just folded, making the paper look like a triangle. “If I’m not in charge, then nothing happens with me; I won’t feel arousal at all.”

“You associate mating with control?” the psychologist asked, and Slaine leaned his head to the side and looked at the paper triangle, then pulled the bottom of it open and watched it as it naturally folded into a shape of a square.

“Perhaps,” he answered and discovered the square-shaped folded paper had flaps that he could fold up, aligning the corners on the flaps with the top of the paper, making it into the shape of a triangle again. “I don’t love Kaizuka; I feel safe with him, but I don’t love him. I wonder if I’m incapable of loving.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’m not sure.” The omega pressed his lips together and stared at the folded triangle, and then unfolded the bottom of it to once again make it into the shape of a square, a smaller square than before. “But I guess it’s not impossible for it to develop later on; I’m not fighting it.”

“You speak about mating and control, and then you bring up love. Do you think there is something connecting these three together?” the man asked, and Slaine sighed again.

“I don’t know what love is, but I somehow imagine it to be crucial for Kaizuka’s way if mating,” the blond answered and took a hold of the triangles on either side of the square and pulled at them gently. “And because I don’t feel the same way about him, our mating becomes compromised. He, however, bends to my will and lets me spin his heat out of control.”

“And how do you feel about him?” he heard the man behind him ask when he pulled the triangles out, forcing the square to unfold.

Nostalgia swept over him as he watched the folded piece of paper turn into a paper boat.

“At the end of the day,” he said and kept staring at the paper boat, surprised he had managed to create one out of the blue, and continued: “I see him as an alpha.”

“Does that hinder you?”

Slaine sighed tiredly and pulled up his knees toward his stomach, leaning his head against the left one and stared at the paper boat, saying with a whisper:

“I think so, but right now I feel like not talking about it anymore for today.”

The psychologist did not seem to mind but rather understood the blond had reached his limit of the sensitive topic of mating. Instead, he continued with another topic that felt easier to talk about:

“Now that things are calming down like this – with this building falling under Vers and the empress protecting you personally – has this change done something to you; made you think or feel something in particular?”

Slaine had not had the chance to properly think about it, but he harbored a sense of loss somehow. It was like he had been battling a storm for his entire life – adjusting everything within him to face the ruthless winds at any time – and now the storm had blown over and left him with all these tools of coping that he had no need for anymore. It made him feel lost – wondering about who he was now that there was no storm to fight. It was like a fisherman losing his trawler boat and being left with the large nets to the machinery; the nets were useless unless he found another use for them, adjusting them to a life on the shore.

“I’m not sure…” Slaine answered quietly, frowning while in thought. “While I’m greatly relieved, I also feel like I’m confused of how to settle down into this calmness. I also wonder who I am in all this, because I have always and only been in survival mode; always having an urgent need to keep my eyes and ears open for possible threats.”

“Who you are… You’re not sure what your identity is?” the man asked, and Slaine sighed and whispered:

“Yeah… I’m not sure I know who I am anymore…”

Like that, they began speaking about the blond’s issues with trust and bonding, and they touched the subject of intimacy and discovered there was something that chafed on the blond’s confidence and self-esteem; giving them a clue of what to work with in the future.

By the time the hour was over, Slaine stood up to leave the room with a – for the first time since he had begun with these sessions – feeling of ease lingering within, like some kind of burden had been lifted off his shoulders. After the appointment with the obstetrician, he had to sit down and recuperate in peace from the emotional swirl he had felt, and think things through to begin the processing phase and find new ground to land on, from where he could move forward.

Before he managed to disappear through the open door to see the obstetrician next, the psychologist stopped him.

“Where did you learn how to fold paper boats?” he asked and Slaine looked over his shoulder at him. The man was looking at the small fleet of paper boats on the table.

“I wasn’t sure at first; I just began folding while I talked to you without realizing what I was doing,” he said and then smiled slightly. “Only then did I remember – when the boat was somehow finished – that my father told me to make it a little bit sturdier by opening up the bottom of it slightly before putting it in the water.”

The man watched him with surprise for a short while, then looking at the small fleet of paper boats again, and asked:

“Your attachment issues and intimacy problems have a root in your childhood. Would you like to continue talking about your father during the next session?”

Slaine knew he wanted him to speak about his father; he had spoken very little about his father and about his upbringing, and the man had endlessly tried to pull things out of him by asking him a lot of questions. Back then, the blond had not been interested in answering any of the questions, but the refurnishing had felt refreshing and his promise to Inaho made him want to give it a chance. If he refused, he was painfully certain he would unnecessarily be building up for war in paradise.

“Yeah,” he answered with a weak smile, deciding to be brave and talk about his father for the first time ever. “Thanks.”

He left the man in a dumbfounded state after having been shown some gratitude for the first time by the blond, smiling and wondering if he could fold a classic paper crane from memory as well – just like his father had taught him.

αβΩ

Most of the furniture had been moved and all he needed to do now was to clean the areas where they had stood. Dust and dirt had collected in various places, and he would need to vacuum clean and wash the dust away before anything could be brought into the room from the floor below.

Moments earlier – while his mate had been busy with the psychologist and now the obstetrician – he had made the call to his superior, who had reacted just the way Inaho had expected. Instead of obeying orders of returning to the headquarters to stand before his superior, Inaho had decided to turn to Seylum for support and stay in this building as a refugee for now. If he left the mansion, he was sure he would be arrested for having bonded with the former UN prisoner.

He had to contact Seylum later about the matter once the meeting they would have with her in an hour had taken place. Now, he should spend all his free time in cleaning the second floor to distract his mind from these worries.

With sweat soaking his clothes and droplets glistening on his face, he went into the small bathroom where the cleaning utilities were stored and dragged out the vacuum cleaner and went to work. He took one room at a time, making sure all the floors were properly cleaned before turning the vacuum cleaner off. As he exited the room he had finished, he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the unexpected visitor that had ventured up the stairs and stood leaning against the doorframe, unsure of if he was allowed to step out onto the second floor area.

“How did it go?” the brunet asked his mate, watching as Slaine avoided eye contact and looked around at the rooms, peering into those closest to him.

“All right,” the other answered curtly and awkwardly.

Inaho understood Slaine was in a mood to talk despite his silence and curtness; he simply did not know what to say. Otherwise he would have not looked for him and ventured this high up in the building, would he? Instead of letting this chance to get to know him disappear, he carried the vacuum cleaner into the small bathroom again, saying:

“Did you get your wounds treated?”

Slaine appeared in the door behind him, watching as the brunet took a bucket and filled it with hot water.

“Yeah. You’ve made my neck completely sore,” his mate answered, still awkwardly.

“I’m sorry.” Inaho turned the water off and proceeded to pour some soap into the water. “What about the psychologist? Did you speak to him?”

“I did,” the blond answered and moved out of the brunet’s way to let him out of the bathroom with the bucket.

“What did you speak about?”

Instead of getting an answer, the blond stayed silent.

Slaine was difficult to talk to today, it seemed. The blond was so short in his answers or did not answer at all, and sounded so awkward once he did that it felt like he was shutting himself inside himself. Was it because they were still pretty much strangers to each other?

“Did it give you anything?” Inaho decided to ask anyway, pushing on to have a conversation going with the hopes of the ice breaking between them.

“Y-yeah…” the blond mumbled.

Inaho walked into the small bathroom again and felt a whiff of the omega’s pheromones as he past the blond in his search for mops. For a brief moment, his mind spun from the smell, which was horribly welcoming and sweet – like his mate was calling for him to touch him. Instead of letting his mind spin further and fall into a heat, he hurriedly took the mop and dipped it into the bucket. It would seem wrong to fall into heat now as he wished not to make the blond feel like he served a carnal purpose rather than a spiritual one. They had already mated a couple of times yesterday and last night, and the blond was probably not up for it right now after the appointments with the healthcare personnel.

Instead of saying anything, the brunet took the mop from the bucket, wrenched it and began washing the floor in one of the rooms.

Slaine was silent and probably watched him clean for a while, and Inaho did his utmost to not let go of his self-control, concentrating all he could in the smell of the soap rather than the scent of his mate. After a while, however, the sweet smell reached him anyway, and he heard Slaine say from the door opening behind him:

“I spoke with the obstetrician about your idea concerning my story.”

Inaho stiffened somewhat as the voice of his mate rung pleasantly in his ears despite the careful tone the other had. Slaine was in a timid mood.

“And what did he say?” the brunet asked and continued mopping the floor without looking up at his mate.

“He thinks it’s a splendid idea,” the blond mumbled. “He agrees with you; he thinks I should make it my purpose to speak about unpleasant truths because he thinks I’m strong enough to do that. It could be a way for me to atone for my crimes on the omega population even if I’ll have to continue apologizing for the rest of my life.”

“You are strong,” the brunet praised him. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to become the count two entire worlds feared. That alone is a heavy burden. I also agree that your story could serve as a way to try make amends with the harm you did even if it won’t bring the dead back to life; it’ll help future generations.”

“I guess…” the blond mumbled and went silent for a while. Inaho continued mopping; giving his mate a chance to finds his words. “Um… I let him do a checkup on me as well,” he continued awkwardly and hesitated a while, before saying with a barely audible voice: “It seems I’ve started ovulating already.”

Inaho stopped mopping the floor and felt his entire body wake up against his will at hearing that.

“So soon? But you’re miscarrying, aren’t you?” he asked and listened to his mate answer:

“Y-yeah, but the bonding and the heat have apparently started the ovulation process just like they should,” the blond mumbled. “My body is producing cervical mucus and the cervix is in the right position, so … the obstetrician said I should tell you w-we should use a condom if we mate.”

The cervix … was in the right position… For what? To receive seed? Hearing that made the brunet’s brain numb for a moment and an unruly feeling began to rear its head within him. His loins tingled.

“You can become pregnant?” he asked surprised once he managed to collect his thoughts anew, but felt the tingling increase for each second that passed.

He turned around to look at the omega, who stood in the door opening with his head low and a frown on his brow, staring at the floor.

“Apparently there’s a chance…” his mate whispered and breathed strangely, looking awkward. “S-since it’s already been three days and I’ve started to ovulate, I’ll be the most fertile in a couple of days and, because a heat lasts for several days and sperm can survive for up to ninety hours or whatever, it might lead to…”

He went abruptly silent and took a deep breath. It was a sudden hot gasp and a blush began appearing on his cheeks. The aqua-colored eyes became wet and he took a hold of the doorframe when his hips seemed to grow weak. The young alpha’s attention sharpened, looking at the crumbling omega without blinking.

The blond was falling into a heat again.

“Damn it…! I knew it…” the omega gasped and backed away from the door on unsteady legs, taking a deep breath and unintentionally licked his lips.

The young alpha dropped the mop. He refused to let the omega disappear from his sight as he was suddenly far too interesting to be allowed to hide. As the omega backed away and disappeared behind the doorframe, the young alpha could not stop himself from hurrying after him, finding the blond hunched over with his arms around his torso, clutching his sweater while he leaned weakly against the wall.

The smell was intoxicatingly sweet out in the hall.

“Slaine,” the young alpha said, feeling how his breaths were finally growing hot after inhaling the sweet smell that had instantly become dense in the air. To stop himself from crumbling entirely, he raised his sleeve to his nose and breathed from his mouth to prevent the pheromones from reaching the gland that would make him react to them.

“Shit…! I can’t even talk to y-you about this … without going into a heat…!” the omega gasped while cursing, and released a whimper before his legs grew weak; he sat down on his knees on the floor. “B-before you … lose your…” he continued with a quivering breath, his back turned against the young alpha while digging in his pocket, and took out a handful of condoms that all dropped to the floor as his fingers were too weak to clutch around them. “Please … use a…” he pleaded before leaning forward, doubled over, and rested his head against the floor, making him look like a lump of breathing flesh.

Inaho swallowed hard as his throat was becoming dry from the sight of his mate falling into heat.

The brunet knew he was already a lost cause; even if he had a brief confidence he could hold himself together, he knew Slaine was already too far into a heat to be able to calm down. This meant his mate would not be reasonable and let the brunet go, and Inaho had already found himself in the position of a mate ready to please the omega in whatever way that was required of him.

The blond had already succumbed enough to the heat to dig his nails into the wooden floor and gasp with ragged breaths. He seemed to be more likely of giving in to the heat now than during his first heat two months ago, like he did not even want to fight it this time. Whatever the reason was, Inaho was dutiful; to help him relieve him from the heat despite the aggressiveness he knew Slaine would show the moment their skins touched.

With that resolution – with the wish to do more good than solely jump the chance to mate out of egoistic reasons – Inaho hurried up to the blond and reached for a condom on the floor.

As he raised it, a hand suddenly grabbed him tightly around his wrist. This startled him as it was just as sudden as a jump scare in a horror movie, and he looked up at his mate who slowly rose up from the floor. The wild beast was back, peering at the brunet from behind the silky blonde hair, and Inaho felt a pang of anxiety from watching the flames flicker in the other’s eyes once more.

“Hurry…” Slaine whispered with a hungry glare. “… before I don’t give a damn…”

With the omega’s breaths violating his ears, the young alpha took a deep breath and pulled his hand free from Slaine’s grip and lowered the other from his nose before opening the package. He had never threaded a condom on before, which made him suddenly unsure of what to do. Even the slightest hesitation in him irked the sexually hungry blond, who clicked his tongue in annoyance and grabbed the condom from his hands before brusquely shoving the alpha onto his back on the floor. This time, Inaho was allowed to prop his body up on his elbows and he put a hand over his nose again. Again, the brunet was dominated.

‘ _I don’t want it like this_ ,’ he thought but did not dare to voice it as it was too late now. He was sure Slaine would not care anymore. ‘ _I want to love you like this, but you don’t like that_ ,’ he told the blond silently while hearing his mighty mate’s words:

“I’ll do it,” the omega hissed and put the condom into his mouth before he climbed up over the brunet’s legs and pulled Inaho’s slacks down without hesitation to expose the soft cock resting against the brunet’s right loin beneath. “You can’t put it on like this,” he then whispered and looked down at the brunet’s flesh.

Inaho knew he had to figure something out to solve this problem he was tossed into over and over again when his mate fell into heat. He had to get to know the other’s nature in further detail to get to know the problem that fueled the flames of this sexual aggression. Otherwise he was sure he would get hurt by getting his heart squeezed by his mate’s ruthless hands again and again. What he wanted was a soft touch, not a forceful shove.

The sight of Inaho’s cock made a fire flare in the blond’s eyes, who seductively brushed his long overgrown hair behind his ears before taking a gentle hold of Inaho’s flesh and leaned down, licking his lips before opening them to give the tip of his cock a kiss.

“Ahh!” the young alpha gasped at the completely new touch and closed his eye, feeling how his mind began swirling with heat again. “Slaine, w-wait…!” he then grunted.

“Look at me,” the omega ordered instead, not paying heed to the other’s plea, and the brunet obeyed and met the other’s heated look before Slaine opened his mouth and wrapped the luscious lips around the cock.

The sight and the sensation of a wet and hot mouth around his member sent a violent tingle down his spine and made a nearly unbearably pleasurable electric shock stab him in his guts, silencing his protests as he was whipped into a strange form of frenzy. His loins began to heat up instantly and the flesh hardened in the omega’s mouth, who slowly bobbed his head up and down while maintaining eye contact with the young alpha. He was being looked at like a prey; his mate’s glare told him not to touch him until he was done with his sweet torture, and the young alpha gritted his teeth and gasped quietly with sighs in between.

Once his flesh was throbbing in the other’s mouth, Inaho felt a piece of rubber be placed on the tip of his cock. He had completely forgotten Slaine had taken the condom into his mouth, and when he watched the omega pull his head back a little, the condom was balancing on the tip. Then, with skillful lips and tongue, Slaine pushed his lips tightly down over the cock and pushed the rolled up condom down, rolling it out over the flesh, all the way to the bottom; Inaho could feel his meat push deep into the omega’s throat.

“Haaahhh…” he moaned and shivered, then watched his mate rise up from between his legs with eyes squinting in a pleased smile of a tiger without reacting to how deep into his throat his mate’s flesh had reached, like he was used to it.

“Mm… You taste good,” the omega said with a low and seductive purr that kicked the alpha’s head into a spin, licking his lips. “Before the heat stops, I wanna suck your cock some more,” he then whispered with a sultry voice and pulled his sweater off while watching the brunet on the floor, revealing the still crimson bruises from the beating three days ago among the old and pale scars.

Inaho was losing; he could not fight the heat anymore and succumbed entirely to his mate’s willful demands. His mate’s way of blowing at the young alpha’s little flame seemed to spread the fire through his entire being like a wildfire, burning away his reason as the inexperience of a heat was too much for the young alpha to bear.

Slaine continued undressing the pants and underwear until he was completely naked, and Inaho felt faint at the sight; the pale body beneath was painfully attractive despite the bruises and old scars. The shoulders were narrower than on a male alpha or beta; resembling a female’s but were still masculine enough to be considered a male’s. His waist was small and his hips rounder as well compared to other males, making him look wonderfully androgynous, like a properly fertile omega male. The naked body in front of him made him want to reach out his hands and touch it, especially the rock hard cock in front of him and stroke it greedily before running his palms over his body to feel the curves and the texture of the skin.

His mouth began watering.

“Come,” Slaine then purred and pulled at the wrist to the hand covering Inaho’s nose while he straddled the young alpha’s hips. “Let me intoxicate you with my scent.” His fingers were strong, probably because of the aggression from the heat, and Inaho obeyed and freed his nose. Slaine, leaning closer until his breath brushed Inaho’s cheeks, whispered: “Breathe me…” and leaned past the brunet’s lips and immediately assaulted his ear, deliberately offering the compress covered nape of his neck for the brunet to smell.

“Haah! S-Slaine…!” the young alpha gasped as he felt and heard the wet tongue slither over the shell of the ear. The moment he inhaled to gasp again, his brain was muddled by heat in an instant as it was assaulted by the omega’s pheromones. “Mmmm…”

“I want you to fuck me. Put it in me yourself…” the omega whispered dangerously and gave room to the yet quite inexperienced alpha to reach down between their legs, and Inaho mindlessly did as he was told.

He took a hold of his rubber-covered cock. It throbbed in his hand and screamed to be squeezed, and he pushed it down from its salute to guide it against Slaine’s bud between his buttocks. The moment he felt the tip against the omega’s soft and swollen hole, he added force by thrusting his hips upward. Slowly, the tip pushed the flesh apart. He could feel how it parted and opened up around the tip, and he threw a look at the omega who majestically rose up onto his arms and closed his eyes with a mouth open to sigh with pleasure.

“Mmmhh…” the blond moaned, and dragged teeth over his lower lip before opening his eyes again to stare at his helpless mate – unintentionally making the vision of him so sexually attractive that Inaho’s heat exploded, shocking the brunet that he could not move at first. He wanted to beg Slaine to lower his hips already and let his cock inside to rub against the inner walls, but he was completely spellbound by the majestic and dangerous creature on top of him, hearing him purr: “Power really is … the world’s strongest aphrodisiac.” After a pleased and teasing glare, he gasped as he added weight onto the alpha’s cock to push it past the opening. When the tip slipped inside, Inaho flinched while the omega threw his head back with a moan: “Oohh! Finally…!”

Goosebumps spread over the brunet’s skin in an instant from feeling the hot and tight flesh of his determined mate envelop him.

Then, Slaine let his body slide down the brunet’s shaft, burying it deep inside him. His ass felt like a bottomless hole the way is sucked the alpha’s cock inside, until Slaine arched his back a little and he could feel the tip reach the bottom; the cervix. Like that, with his body towering over the young alpha, Slaine watched him with a pleased smile and began grinding his flesh against Inaho’s loins by working his hips with wavelike motions, making the tip of the brunet’s cock slip and slide over the slippery cervix.

“Mmmh! S-Slaine…!” the young man gasped and took a hold of the blond’s thighs, but Slaine chuckled hungrily.

“No, no… Not there,” he said and took Inaho’s right hand and placed it on his cock. “Here… Hahh…!” he gasped and commanded, slowly spreading his knees wide apart: “Touch me here. Take a good look … oohhh! … at your own cock … as it is buried inside me. Ahhhh…”

When Inaho obeyed, drunk from heat, he gritted his teeth as his body tensed up just by seeing his own shaft – red with throbbing veins – pull out of the omega as Slaine raised his body slightly to begin pumping his flesh. There was transparent sticky secretion oozing from the blond’s swollen and outstretched asshole. With a loud moan, the blond pushed it back inside, slowly while Inaho could feel his gaze burn against his face, watching the alpha stare at their bodies doing obscene things.

“Aaaghh! Mmmh!” the brunet finally moaned when Slaine began bouncing faster up and down over his shaft, pulling and dragging the lust out of the alpha who could only lie there beneath him and be used just the way the omega wanted. His cock – smaller than Inaho’s as he was an omega – thrust into the brunet’s hand as he moved, pulling his foreskin back and made wet sounds as it was pulled back and forth as he moved. “Haahhhh!” Inaho moaned and gritted his teeth hard enough they ached. Slaine’s body felt good; it was hot and soft inside, and it wanted him inside it so much that it squeezed him mercilessly at times. “Aaargh! Aaahhh!”

The blond’s moans and groans grew louder along with Inaho’s, and his hips moved more and more impatiently. His cock was oozing sticky clear liquid, wetting Inaho’s hand as it poured down it and dripped onto his sweater.

“Ooohh! Mmmph!” the omega moaned and slapped his ass against the brunet’s loins “So good…!” he cried out breathlessly and licked his lips before raising a hand to his mouth and sucked on his fingertips momentarily, like he wanted to suck on something else. Then he turned his eyes to look at the brunet. They were wet and glazed over, and he had a pleading look in them like asking his mate to take him harder. “Haagh! I- I think I’m going crazy! Aaahhh!” he cried out and whimpered, and suddenly Inaho could feel how his body tensed up and squeezed him tightly, forcing a groan out of the alpha before the omega orgasmed with a body quivering – cumming onto Inaho’s chest. “Haahhh…! Aahhh! Ooohh… Fuck…!” he gasped and slumped as his strength poured out of him with the orgasm.

The alpha was attacked by a violent need to take control now that his mate had reached a climax. He was not satisfied after being thrown into a heat this mercilessly. He disliked the condom as well – hating it even – as it prevented him from feeling the warm flesh and wetness against his cock.

With a growl, he pushed his body up with a motion that startled the satisfied omega, who fell onto his back with the alpha’s rubber-covered flesh still inside him. Inaho dove onto him, immediately pushing into the omega in the motion and pushed as hard and deep into him as he could, trying to bare the condom still separating him and his mate.

Slaine shrieked from surprise and put his hands onto Inaho’s shoulders and exclaimed:

“Haagh!”

Inaho was in such heat his mind was burning at this point, and he pulled out of the omega and pushed back in again, pinning the blond against the floor and welcomed the arms and legs that wrapped around him. The omega arched his neck at the deep plunge and released a pleasured howl, and his insides seemed to get wetter for each thrust.

The young alpha was growing more and more desperate to compensate for the lack of feeling with the condom on; he became horribly aware of what he was not allowed to do with the rubber sealing his cock from the other; to cum inside his mate. Instead, he wanted to rebel against it; he wanted to feel the soft flesh rub against his cock directly more than before, and he wanted to feel the wet cervical mucus envelop him and make a mess of him. It already made sticky threads between him and his mate as he pulled out of him, stretching like transparent webs.

“AAHHH!” the sensitive Slaine cried out loud and quivered, like he was about to orgasm again. The fleshy walls became tighter as well, and for each thrust he took his body shook more and more, until he howled with a scream: “T-TAKE THE DAMN THING OFF! HAAHH! I’LL GO MAD IF YOU WON’T!” He had tears in his nearly furious eyes when he looked at the brunet who thrust into him with forceful thrusts, and he gritted his teeth hard and then looked down between their legs. “Take it off! Take the fucking condom off!” he commanded aggressively and reached his hands down, unable to stop himself from wanting to rip the rubber off.

Inaho, somehow – out of nowhere – managed to remove his mate’s hands from the condom. He would not take it off no matter how frustrating it was. He wished he could say it was because he respected the obstetrician’s advice, but he had to admit it was because it was too late; he refused to pull out of his mate no matter what the reason – even if he would have felt blissfully satisfied by taking his mate raw.

Slaine continued pleading him to take it off and growled at times that the rubber felt strange or not good enough. He even clawed at Inaho’s shoulders enough it hurt, but it only made the young alpha increase the force of his thrusts, unintentionally silencing the blond who seemed to lose his breath at the intensity of the thrusts. Slaine’s head rolled to the side and bobbed there while Inaho continued thrusting, chasing an orgasm until he felt how his loins started to burn.

There was no end to how jumbled his mind could get from listening and watching his mate enjoy him like this – even if he rationally wished to abandon the aggressiveness at least a little to enjoy a spiritual moment rather than an animalistic moment like this. The brunet licked his mate’s dry lips as it was the only thing he could do now that his head was filled with the omega’s cries; he was overwhelmed. The omega’s gasps grew difficult for each breath and he answered his mate’s licks with a kiss, swirling his tongue against Inaho’s and mixed their saliva with open mouths to release desperate and whimpering gasps. Trails of saliva dropped down onto the omega’s chin and neck from the sloppy kissing, before Inaho felt his loins ache from his pelvic muscles contracting.

“Aaarghh! AAH!” he growled and watched a pitiful smile spread on the omega’s lips, who knew what was happening.

“Y-yes! Cum! Nnaahhh! Aahh!” his mate cried and wrapped his arms around the alpha’s neck to pull him into a kiss again. “Mmmhh…! Mm!” he continued moaning before he dropped his head back against the floor. “I’m-!” he then cried and lost his breath as his body tensed up, the upper body rising up and pushed against Inaho’s chest. Then he groaned out a loud and primitive growl before slumping back against the floor again, with his body tensing up anew. “Haah! Mmnh! Aah! HAH! I’m … cumming ag-! AAARGHH!”

With the tightness in his mate’s pelvis squeezing him with a hellish grip, the alpha gasped from pain. The wet sounds attacked his ears and he groaned like an animal as he sped up his thrusting to reach his climax. For each thrust that slammed against the omega, Slaine’s cries and moans grew quieter into forceful and quick gasps, like he was hyperventilating from the intensity of the stimulation, while Inaho felt his own pelvic muscles tighten harder and harder.

Like he got a ruthless blow against his stomach, he got nearly paralyzed and shoved his cock deep and hard into the omega, grinding it as deep as it could reach as he came. It was sucked in deeper as the omega howled and orgasmed a second later, pulling him so deep his balls pressed painfully against his mate’s ass. The growl the alpha released was louder than during their other mating sessions, and he could barely breathe as the sensation was overpowering – like he was squashed beneath a horrible weight. He pulled out just slightly, only to immediately ram the cock inside the omega once more as he came again the moment the first orgasm had calmed down. His mate gasped breathlessly at the plunge as the cock collided with the cervix right when the alpha’s body erupted again, squirting the seed inside the condom within him. The orgasm was not giving him a chance to take a new breath, and his head pounded like a battering ram was trying to split it open, and he felt like suffocating.

The omega’s insides kept twitching, pumping him dry as the womb greedily tried to get every drop of sperm out of the alpha, and the knot began to swell at the base of his cock. It was so gloriously painful he for a moment thought of pulling his dick out to get a breather, but it was already too late as the knot had already swelled too much. Instead, he collapsed onto the blond and gasped desperately, shaking from mindboggling pleasure while listening to Slaine’s gasps that were just as desperate as his, and both of their pulse hammered in their bodies; Inaho could feel his mate’s pulse even inside him, and his own began to strangely harmonize with it.

“D-damn…!” the omega sighed and shook beneath him like in a delirious fever. He buried his fingers into the brunet’s tousled and sweaty hair and held him tenderly. “I … thought I died…” he whispered and swallowed to wet his parched throat.

“Me too…” the brunet gasped and licked the dry lips to ease their tight skin.

“How did you … keep your head cool and s-stop me from taking the condom off?” the omega asked with a satisfied gasp and carefully dried some of Inaho’s sweat away from his forehead. “Without that, you’d knock me up … without us even having a home.”

“W-we already … do,” Inaho answered and finally felt his body relax entirely. “T-this house … is all ours…”

“You serious?” Slaine asked suddenly surprised, but he was too exhausted to raise his voice from the pitiful gasps.

“Yeah…” Inaho wheezed and swallowed. “Seylum … gave it to us…”

“You’ll move in here?”

“Y-yeah… I need to move anyway … as I am out of a job…” the brunet answered and felt Slaine’s hands grip his hair and raise his head up to look at him.

“What?!” the blond exclaimed this time staring into the brunet’s eye, but the sudden strain on his voice made him cough as his throat was too dry to yell like that. He lost his grip of the brunet’s hair, and Inaho slumped back against his mate’s heaving chest.

Trembling, Inaho raised his hand to brush his mate’s hair, calming him:

“They fired me just about an hour ago,” he gasped and swallowed again; he really needed to have some water. “… for having admitted to breaking orders by letting myself be seduced by you … as they called it. There are probably repercussions as they ordered … me back to the headquarters, but Seylum has promised me her support.”

“I-idiot,” the blond gasped and tightened his hold around the brunet. “Now what will you do? Just lie around … and fuck me day in and day out?”

“No,” the brunet sighed and raised his head weakly to look at his mate. “I want to pick up my studies where I left them when the war began,” he explained.

Slaine stared at him silently for a while, looking at him with a strangely joyful look, before he nodded and gave his sweaty forehead a kiss, surprising the brunet with how tender he suddenly was.

“I think that’s the right thing to do,” he whispered and held him again.

Lying there on the floor of their new home that still stood nearly empty of ordinary things, he understood a very important character his mate harbored. Sex – as aggressive and exhausting as it was – was his way of bonding with him. The way the blond held him and nuzzled his hair, while gasping for breath with the knot inside him, told Inaho that physical touch – mating – was his way to accept the brunet as his mate, and it explained why Slaine was not willing to stop himself from mating with Inaho. In fact, happy feelings surged in them both; the young alpha could sense that merely by breathing in the musky smell of his mate.

‘ _He’s afraid?_ ’ Inaho wondered and felt like he was on to some kind of trail that would help them solve their mating problem. ‘ _He wants intimacy, but he’s too afraid to make it serious, and so he mates in the only way that doesn’t make it serious_.’

As a reaction to this precious realization, the brunet rubbed his face against the blond’s neck and heard a quiet chuckle of joy spill out from the other’s lips, and heavy legs wrapped around his waist as if to hug him closer. Happiness made the brunet smile, and he found his place in the other’s embrace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by Nemi. Thank you! ♥ (O.O)


	20. The Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zomg this is long!

Time was a peculiar thing that always sped by faster than expected. It always had its course, never stopped to wait for anyone, showing no heed to maturity or readiness. It was cruel like that – merciless even – as it gave no time to think or feel enough to work through past things until it would bring with it new situations and happenings that kicked up a different storm of emotions and thoughts. It forced all living things to either give up or adapt – to die or change – every day, seven days a week, year after year.

Oh, how exhausting it was! Slaine never got the chance to find his place in the moment before it changed into something new and start adapting again, and again. This made him feel more and more lost for each week that passed, until five weeks since the bonding had run past him and his mate. Even now, after so many weeks of living together in the mansion that was slowly transformed into a home, they had not gotten used to their relationship enough to be completely relaxed around each other. Routines changed, the furniture changed and with them the routines changed again, and even the conditions under which they lived changed constantly according to new regulations. It was like the life Slaine had gotten along with Inaho had had a bumpy start. The bumps had continued appearing over the course of their first five weeks and would continue on for a while more – like their relationship was a child that was going through childhood diseases while growing.

The issues Inaho had had with UE after bonding with Slaine had been solved surprisingly quickly. Asseylum had shown her support and exercised the power she harbored to clear his name of the most charges. Instead, Inaho had been fined with a huge sum for his so called crimes – a sum which Asseylum had paid on Inaho’s behalf, putting the brunet in a financial debt to the empress, who expected him to pay it back once he finished his studies and got a job. Inaho seemed fine with this – grateful even – and had begun to prepare for picking up his high school studies where he had left them at the start of the war.

After the problems with UE had been solved, the next problem had reared its head: To find routines had been difficult thus far, since there was always something new happening in the mansion that required things to change. At first, the fated mates had been forced to find a way to come along after Inaho had officially moved into the building. This had been a huge change neither of the young men had been ready for and had resulted in them both having difficulties finding what to do during the days and find topics to talk about. The only activity they shared was sleeping and mating, and sometimes eating. Other than that, they were mostly spending time in separate rooms or sat next to each other on the couch that had been brought up to the second floor from the basement, watching movies in complete silence. Slaine got the feeling Inaho watched movies with him not because he cared about them, but because he wanted to be present and build emotional proximity between them.

What did make Slaine feel blessed, however, was that his mate had turned out to be a talented cook. Inaho spent a lot of time in the kitchen while waiting for the school semester to start, cooking Asian meals that seemed more complex than necessary, to keep his mate well fed. The blond had a feeling the brunet was trying to impress him as well considering the ridiculous amount of time his mate spent with cooking, as there was always something new and interesting on the dinner table. Even if Slaine felt stressed out over this new life he was supposed to adapt to, making a lost appetite more common than the desire to eat, Inaho’s cooking somehow found its way down to his stomach and kept him from starving.

On top of this, the fated pair had noticed that the mansion was huge with more rooms than was even comfortable. To furnish all of them would take a long while. Slaine could not even bother with it as he was too busy getting used to the second floor where he and his mate lived, with the first floor occupied by the Versian guards who protected the grounds from trespassers.

That was another problem. No matter how much the fated pair needed to be alone, it was straining to hide on the second floor to escape the eyes of the guards. They noticed everything that went on up on the second floor as the mansion had proven to be badly sound insulated because it was so old and made of stone and wood. Even Slaine and Inaho could hear the guards talking during the evenings, sometimes too loudly for the blond to be able to fall asleep. The impossibility to get proper privacy stressed the blond out more than he thought while he tried to establish a functional relationship with his mate. Inaho, on the other hand, seemed to simply bear it and grit his teeth, but he reminded the guards during the evenings when they became too loud to quiet down.

Slaine longed for the time when the tall stone wall around the yard would be finished. During the past weeks – while the fated pair had tried to make the second floor as homely as they could with the little they had – the construction of a protecting wall had started and was being built along the border of the grounds, with a large guardhouse at the gates. Not until then would the fated pair get privacy, and it was expected the construction would continue on for at least three weeks more.

The routines and shared activities did not get any help to evolve into something better by the lack of belongings. They owned barely anything; all their furniture was of the used office furniture that had occupied the mansion and Inaho’s old furniture from his apartment. They felt sterile and minimalistic in an uncomfortable way as they did not feel warm enough to be considered even the slightest homely, leaving the fated mates to live in an environment that did not make their relationship flourish as much as it needed. Instead, it had taken a toll on them, as they did not have a proper bed to sleep in in the room that had nothing more than two standard sized beds that had been pushed together to form a larger bed. There had not even been a rug on the floor to keep their feet warm when venturing to the toilet during the nights or early mornings the first three weeks.

Asseylum had been very aware of this, and she had sent a catalogue to the fated pair to choose whatever furniture they wished for. The shipment of them had regretfully taken a while though, and the furniture came with different shipments; they had first gotten the rugs and complete kitchenware sets of different kinds amongst some so they could insulate the cold floor they had to walk on and have tools and utilities to cook proper meals. Another shipment had arrived just a week ago with proper furniture, but they still had to wait for a proper bed.

To furnish their new home had been a slow process during the first week after the empress had sent them the interior catalogue. Instead of concentrating on the bothersome task of choosing out their new furniture and other interior details from the thick catalogue, they had ended up staining the pages with bodily honey, as mating had been far more interesting at the time than deciding how their home would look like.

Slaine had to be honest and admit he carried most of the fault as he had distracted his mate by deliberately flaunting himself in front of the other, but he also had to be allowed to excuse himself as he had been in a nearly constant heat when the brunet had been around. Even if he still could not claim that he loved the other, the attraction had still been unbearably real; the omega – drunk from the honeymoon from their bond – had had a need to confirm his mate’s closeness by feeling him near him – most preferably _in_ him as that was his only way to be intimate with someone he did not love. The honeymoon had made their heats horribly spontaneous. Slaine had woken up several times because of a heat and Inaho had been kind enough to serve the omega no matter when and where they were. They had done their utmost to use protection, but – because of Slaine’s ability to fire them both up way too fast – they had been somewhat sloppy with the usage at times.

Once the heat period had disappeared, the frantic sexual behavior had been replaced by calm as he had expected. The omega felt at peace, like all the storms in the world had finished blowing; the need to be on constant guard had slowly dissipated, and even if he was still jumpy from sudden sounds he was not used to and showed mistrust in others – even in Inaho – he was slowly working through his past with the psychologist as a guide and put effort to find ways to handle his issues outside the sessions.

Even though he felt calmer like this, the need for sex was still nearly unbearable, making him attack the brunet out of nowhere and tease him into wanting it as well. Inaho was not a stranger to please his mate; Slaine felt lucky to have such a willing partner that let himself be pushed around in a playful manner. The aggressiveness during mating had not disappeared, and even if Slaine was bullying the poor brunet he did not mean him any harm by it; it was the omega’s way to close the emotional distance between him and his mate. It was different to some other animal species; he did not dance for his mate nor did he spread his feathers and waited nicely to be accepted. What he did spread quite quickly, however, were his legs, but when he did he had already gotten the alpha where he wanted him. Besides, Inaho did not protest against the omega’s mating rituals despite Slaine knew he preferred calmer ones; the brunet seemed aware that this was the only way Slaine could mate.

It was easier to make their life livable like this, Slaine thought, as the omega had difficulties with the emotional bonding outside his heats. There was no doubt he had made the right decision of staying with Inaho, but – while he got a lot of support from the brunet – he had very little to give. His mate was strong and stable in his ways, never really needing much to be satisfied with their everyday life, which made the blond feel feckless in their relationship as he had no love to offer his mate; no tools to maintain their relationship with except his body.

In a way, Slaine figured he had trouble finding a comfortable place in the brunet’s presence as the abuse he had gone through had made an impact on his ability to let other’s close. Exposing a heart was a scary thing to do as it meant the one the heart was exposed to could get an exclusive look at its content and even crush it. He was sure it was possible to gain courage to someday hold out his heart for his mate and let him have a look at it, and even let him hold it, but – right now – it was too intimate and he felt too fragile and vulnerable to allow something like that. He knew he lacked self-esteem and confidence in a relationship. At times he doubted himself enough he felt ashamed and had to hide from his mate’s gaze; he felt insufficient and believed he was a burden – that he could never make Inaho happy and had thus destroyed his mate’s life.

He had to be allowed to hide his heart a little more – until he felt ready to share it; he felt too insecure that he would break apart if Inaho showed any form of negative feeling toward him.

The past week, though, Slaine had felt horribly tired. Their mating sessions had calmed down considerately because of this, and the blond had felt like a rebel after forming the habit of staying in bed into the early afternoons every day now that he was allowed to decide when to go up to greet his little world. Inaho did not seem to be bothered by it and let Slaine sleep while he got up early in the mornings to continue the work of making the mansion into their home.

Inaho had been behaving strangely ever since the recent shipment had arrived at the same time as Slaine had grown horribly tired, by relentlessly building the furniture – insisting to do it himself – and haul them around the second floor. He had then proceeded to fill all the new cabinets and shelves with all sorts of things, such as clothes, books, necessities and more. Every time Slaine got up from bed, he found yet another area nearly completely furnished and decorated. It was like the young alpha was nesting – just like Slaine had done when he had been pregnant – and it was humorous to see him behaving like this, commanded by an instinct to make their home ready for his mate.

This late morning, on their thirty-fifth day as a pair, the blond got up from the temporary bed. He was still insisting in dressing in the softly blue clothes he had worn as a prisoner, despite he had gotten a shipment of ordinary clothes a while ago. It was his way of having something recognizable to relate to in this constantly changing building – giving him a sense of security. He put the blue t-shirt and slacks on after getting up from bed, before exiting the bedroom and stepping out into the large living room that was yet to be furnished properly. He listened to sounds to find out the location of his mate and recognized the quiet rattles and bonks from the small room diagonally to his left. Immediately, he walked over to the door and peeked inside the strange room that had an almost triangular shape.

Inaho was at work – like usual; he sat on the floor assembling a nearly finished sideboard made of oak. The screwdriver clattered against the screws right before he tightened them, and he was so immersed in the task that he did not notice Slaine standing in the doorway. The blond swept his eyes over the room and saw that the desk – that was made of same wood as the sideboard – was already put together along with the office chair standing behind it. On top of it, a black laptop stood, and there were several empty wooden desk organizers for different purposes standing neatly behind the laptop. To the left of the door, closest to the doorframe, a cabinet for hanging folders stood, and next to it a tall bookshelf waited for books to be stacked on its shelves. Next to it, in the corner, stood a glass cabinet with a still unknown purpose.

Despite all the pretty things that stood lined up along the walls, what the blond found the most interesting was the laptop.

“You’re a hard worker,” Slaine said and watched his mate look up at him. Inaho was sweaty. “Don’t you have anything better to do than constantly build things? There’s no rush, or is there?”

“I would like to finish this so I can concentrate on my studies once the summer semester begins and also give us some calm,” the brunet said and continued putting the sideboard together. “The semester start is just three weeks away, and I would like to have settled in before that.”

“The second week of June, right?”

“That’s right,” his mate answered.

Inaho was to begin school by conveniently studying from home to catch up with the past years he had been away from the books and tests. Once he was finished and had gotten all his high school grades, he would continue in university and specialize in engineering – or that was the plan at least. Slaine, on the other hand, had no such plans; he did not feel the motivation to begin school, like his mate, as he was mentally too tired for that after everything he had gone through. What he rather wanted to do was to heal and continue writing his life narration, to pursue the goal of getting it published under a pseudonym that he had not decided on yet.

That was why he found great interest in the laptop.

“The obstetrician came with the laptop a little while ago,” Inaho said, and Slaine was somewhat taken aback from hearing the obstetrician had come with it. “He’s waiting for you; I think you have an appointment in twenty minutes to check up on the bite marks that won’t fade.”

“The laptop is mine?” Slaine asked to make sure, and his mate nodded, saying:

“It’s only yours. We don’t have access to internet yet, but it should be arranged within the oncoming week; I need it before the school semester starts to get access to all the school material I need.”

“It’ll be over satellite?” the blond asked and walked up to the desk, caressing the wooden surface with his fingertips. Then he opened the laptop and reached for the On-button. The laptop started up with a barely audible hum, and he looked at the screen with excitement boiling in his guts; he could not wait to get to know the machine.

“That’s the only way to get access to it out here; we’re too far away from the nearest city, which makes it easier to use the satellite,” his mate explained and put the cupboards for the sideboard together. “UE used satellite out here as well, but now that this ground belongs to Vers we have to wait for the empress to prepare a new provider for us.”

“She really takes care of everything, huh?” the blond mumbled and touched the touchpad on the laptop to move the cursor.

“She promised that,” Inaho said and finished the first cupboard and slid it into the sideboard. “She has the power, assets and will to do that, so we should just bow and accept it without complaints.”

It felt strange to be taken care of like this, with all of his and his mate’s material needs provided for them without charge. There was even a contract with a food provider in the nearest town who would ship food to the house in the woods once a week; food that Slaine and Inaho could order by filling out a form according to the folder they had gotten with all the groceries the provider could offer – which was a lot as the company was a large wholesaler in Europe of international food.

To Slaine, this felt too good to be true, but he had no choice but to put his trust in the empress, who was probably doing all she could to unburden the fated pair.

“I’ll be heading to town as soon as I’m finished with this sideboard. I’ll be gone for a couple of hours as I have to finish tidying up in my old apartment,” his mate said, and Slaine nodded.

“Sure. I’ll head to the infirmary now. I see you later,” the blond answered and left the brunet to his work.

For the first time in his life, he had a place to call home.

For the first time in his life, he was not busy fleeing and fighting.

For the first time in his life, he had a mate he shared a home with.

For the first time in his life … he could afford being no one else but Slaine Troyard without fears of being raped, abused, locked away… He was not a victim of rape and abuse; he was not a soldier or a count; he was not a prisoner, and – most importantly – he was not a stray omega anymore.

‘ _Then who am I?_ ’ he wondered as he walked down the stairs that were yet to become familiar; he still felt like it was forbidden to walk on these stairs. He had been busy pondering on the question of who he was ever since he was freed from the basement. He had lost so many roles recently and not really found his footing yet in this freedom he had been given, which disabled him to find the new roles he was sure he had obtained without knowing. ‘ _I’m a bonded omega; a mate_ ,’ he thought as these two roles were the only some of the new ones he could recognize. ‘ _And a soon-to-be author?_ ’

What else? He had not gotten the chance to develop personal interests as he had been too busy surviving throughout his life up until now, which in turn had not given him a chance to form an identity. Even though he had had a lot of experience by traveling around and been through a lot, he had not been allowed to explore on his own; he had always been doing or been forced to do what others had told him. The psychologist had taught him that even though he had not explored his world and his own self yet, he had made clear political commitments during his time as Count Saazbaum Troyard. Now, however, as that role had been taken away, Slaine was completely lost.

‘ _There’s nothing left of me_ ,’ he thought and frowned as he walked down the second flight of stairs and landed his feet on the basement floor beneath the last step. He was spending a lot of energy on wondering about who he was. ‘ _I don’t need to fight anymore, so I’m not a fighter_ ,’ he continued and turned to his right to head to the infirmary. ‘ _I’m a survivor?_ ’

But what good would the role of a survivor do if he had nothing to survive for? Well, he was a little unfair thinking like that as he had his mate – someone who he had still not grown to trust and love properly, like a lover, though. Then again, he was willing to try and even wanted to, so he had to admit that perhaps Inaho was more than enough for now.

‘ _I_ do _feel lonely when he’s gone_ ,’ he admitted and smiled a little, believing that the ability to feel loneliness was just enough to compensate for the lack of romantic love for now.

After arriving to the infirmary, he peered through the open door.

“Step in, step in,” the man inside the infirmary said immediately, like he had heard Slaine coming, and Slaine did as he was told. “How are we today?”

“Fine,” the blond answered and walked up to the examination table and sat down, like he was already so used to this room he knew exactly what to do, making him find stability in his role as a patient while visiting the infirmary.

“It’s a fine morning,” the obstetrician said while putting on some rubber gloves and sat down on the chair to roll closer with the chair. “Have you been outside in the back yard yet?”

“No, I just recently woke up,” the blond mumbled and shrunk slightly as the fellow omega stopped right in front of him, watching him with an open facial expression.

“Oh, I think you should take the chance while the sun is out; it’ll do you good,” the man scolded him gently and then leaned against his arms, resting them on his knees. “So how are things going with your mate?”

“He’s still furnishing,” Slaine answered and looked to his right to avoid the man’s studying stare.

“He takes this business about being mates seriously; you’re quite lucky. I heard he even cooks,” the obstetrician said with a smile but then looked somewhat serious. “What about love? Any yet?”

“N-no,” the blond mumbled and frowned heavily. “We’re just living together and having sex when there’s a mood.”

“And how often do you have a mood?”

“I had it every two days or so about a week ago, but lately I’m too tired,” the blond mumbled.

“That is quite often,” the obstetrician said with a playful frown. “You seem to have an unusual sex drive. What about him?”

“It’s not like he has a choice,” Slaine answered and sighed, playing awkwardly with his fingers resting in his lap. “When I’m in the mood, I kind of force myself on him because I get so needy. I’ve always been like that. Not that he objects or complains, though.”

The obstetrician nodded in recognition, and Slaine felt relieved from seeing his reaction as it confirmed there was nothing wrong with him.

“Sometimes, unlike what people might think, those who have gone through sexual abuse get an increased sex drive later on in life that might be a little higher and also different to what the general person would have. It’s not because of the sex they become like this, but rather because they try to compensate for something that’s lacking with sex. Abuse like that is associated with increased sexual activity with multiple partners, and some might even get addicted while others get aggressive to get a feeling of control. It’s also not uncommon that sexual abuse victims are incapable of connecting love and sex together,” the obstetrician explained.

Slaine recognized his self quite well in the description; sex for him was easy if he was in the mood; he could fuck just about anyone as long as he could trust them a little bit to not hurt him too much. Even if he was a bully, he did enjoy it almost a little too much when Inaho grew aggressive after the blond had become vulnerable after reaching an orgasm. He enjoyed it when his mate pinned him down and used his body to reach his own orgasm, but only as long as Inaho did not cause him harm. Luckily, Inaho had not raised a hand or been disrespectful in any way. Love, however, was something Slaine had difficulties with because of the emotional closeness to another that was required; he just could not live up to something like that – making him feel flat out worthless next to his mate.

The obstetrician continued with a less serious tone:

“It’s difficult to say why that is so, but my experience as an obstetrician tells me that it is so in some who have gone through abuse. As long as Inaho won’t mind, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing as there’s no wrong way to have sex as long as both are mutual about it. Just don’t push when he’s not in the mood and respect even the smallest sign of him not wanting to. Does he mind?”

It felt like a warning, giving Slaine a feeling of him being the one who was dangerous to Inaho. It was a fair warning, though, as the blond was uncertain of what was normal and not. All the sex he had known had been either forced or aggressive, and he had not felt a mood for regular sugar-coated mating. When in the mood, he was an animal. It was as simple as that and therefore difficult in a relationship if his mate did not feel the same need as he. Inaho had not shown any signs of disliking the blond’s needy and aggressive nature, and he seemed to even enjoy it as it gave him a chance to compete with the blond.

Slaine nodded to answer, saying shamefully:

“He does prefer the gentler kind of sex though, with love involved. I can’t give him that, and he seems to accept it for now. I fear he will get tired of it though.”

“I’ve heard you’re working with this problem with the psychologist?” the man asked, and Slaine nodded. “Good. It’ll take some time, and I’m sure Kaizuka will show patience. However, you have to understand that he’s sacrificing a lot by accepting that you can only have the kind of sex that he doesn’t prefer.” Slaine took a deep breath hearing this, feeling all the more ashamed, like he was a horrible partner. “I believe you two have to communicate thoroughly about this issue so that no one gets hurt, as I’m sure you know what kind of weapon sex can be,” the fellow omega continued, but then clapped his hands playfully together, asking: “Now then, what are you up to during the days?”

Sleep. Slaine slept a lot nowadays. That was all he could come up with as he barely touched any other kind of activity except when he was hungry and ventured down into the kitchen. At times he helped Inaho with the furnishing and unpacking things, but other than that he lay in bed day in and day out, sleeping as much as possible. It was like he was too tired to do anything; his body felt heavy and his mind was as slow as thick tar.

“I sleep a lot,” he answered quietly. “I don’t really have anything else to do and I’m too tired to bother doing anything lately.”

“I figured as much,” the obstetrician said and nodded like he had expected the blond’s answer. “I bet there’s a lot of stuff going on that you’re not used to, like moving around in the house like you wish, to begin with?” When Slaine nodded again, the man smiled and said: “Why not pick up the books like your mate and study something?”

“I’m not that interested in math and grammar,” the blond argued, but a sparkle in the obstetrician’s eyes told him he had given it some thought and had found a perfect answer to give him:

“Why not explore the world of gender studies and sexology?”

Slaine frowned and tilted his head a little in curiosity.

“Gender studies and sexology?”

“I think,” the man sung in a theatrical manner and continued: “As an intelligent being, you’re interested in cultures and gender norms that govern the societies as we know it. You have horrific experience as an omega and you have a voice that will speak to the crowds through your book in the near future, so why not advance on that path and read up on some proper theories to exercise your mind? Who knows what that might lead to?”

The blond had never heard of such things before and his mind was silent for a while as he tried to understand what the man had just said.

“I’m not really sure what good that would do,” the omega said after a while of thought, and the obstetrician sighed and explained:

“Why be satisfied with a single book? I’m sure you can do so much more than that, like write your own essays and such on gender norms and crimes that you’ve been forced to endure, and publish them as well to cause a debate.”

A political stand. He missed that for sure.

His fingers itched to write on the laptop immediately in his new study at the mere thought of going into politics again. The role of a politician and leader had been his biggest role after all – the role that had accomplished more than any alpha, beta and omega ever had – a role he had accomplished all on his own. Could he do it again by transforming the role into a speaker hiding behind a penname and hide from the public between the pages of his published books?

“I can provide you with some of my old books on the basic levels of the subjects. You can start with them, and I’m sure the empress will get you some more once you’re ready to advance,” the obstetrician continued, and Slaine looked at him and thought for a little while more, before he found that he liked the idea.

“Thank you,” he answered quietly, and the obstetrician turned professional again:

“Splendid! Now then, you said you sleep a lot. How do you sleep?”

“Heavily,” the blond answered frankly and thought a little before continuing: “I generally feel lethargic whenever I’m awake. Then my chest feels a little tingly, so I have difficulties of falling asleep at times.”

“Tingly?” the obstetrician asked and looked curious. “The effects of the bonding disappeared about two weeks ago, so you’re about to have your menstruation any day now, right? That might make the nipples sensitive.”

“Y-yeah,” the blond answered somewhat nervously this time, remembering back to the warnings the obstetrician had given him five weeks ago when he and Inaho had first bonded; Slaine was aware of the recklessness he and Inaho had shown during some mating occasions by not bothering to get a condom from the bedroom; Slaine had not allowed Inaho to leave him to get one at times, and the brunet had been seduced enough by the blond’s false promises of it being all right that he had lost his reason.

“It’s probably because of that, so don’t worry,” the man said with a smile, and then waved carefully with his hand, saying: “You’re here because of the marks, right? Could you lean your head a little to the right so I can have a look at the marks?”

Slaine obeyed and exposed his neck, letting the obstetrician take a look at the bite marks that had healed but not faded. Then he was asked to lean his head to the left to show the marks on the other side as well, and then he heard the obstetrician release a thoughtful hum and watched him frown.

“Normally, a single mark remains while the rest fade; the deepest one the alpha has given the omega stays to be precise,” he mumbled and studied the marks. “They’ve healed nicely, but they are all still flushed.”

“They’ve been like that ever since we bonded,” the blond mumbled.

The obstetrician went silent and rolled away to the computer to thoughtfully click around for a while, and Slaine waited and felt how he grew all the more nervous.

“I think we should make a blood test to make sure…” the obstetrician mumbled somewhat absentmindedly before rolling with the chair over to the cupboards to prepare a blood test. He looked like a hockey puck sliding over ice when rolling across the room. Then he rolled over to Slaine and asked while preparing the needle and tourniquet: “When you two were in heat, did you use the condoms I told you to use?”

At that, the blond went silent and felt like he had done something bad; he felt like his pride would crumble if he admitted the truth, and he felt scared like a dog caught with hiding a chewed shoe beneath the couch.

“Did you?” the man asked again – prompting the silent omega to answer – and looked at him suspiciously like he could read his mind.

Slaine felt how his mouth turned dry.

αβΩ

Once Inaho returned to the house later that evening – seeing that the windows on the second floor were turned off – he stepped out of the car and entered the house. The wall around the house was slowly being built to protect the privacy of the ground it would contain, but the workers had gone home as the hour was already past working hours. Instead, Versian guards met him on the first floor as he entered the mansion, and they welcomed him back.

“Is he asleep?” the brunet asked and looked at one of the guards, who shook her head.

“No, he’s been sitting on the porch all day,” she answered and nodded toward the hallway which’s end was weakly lit up by the light from the porch outside the windows.

The brunet walked curiously over to the patio door and saw Slaine sitting on the couch wearing a grey hoodie, with the hood raised over his head. His legs were folded beneath him – sitting like a tailor – and a blanket was wrapped around them to keep them warm. A cup rested in his lap as he seemed to gaze at the dark forest in front of him, silently and unmoving, like he was in deep thought.

This was a new kind of behavior Inaho was not used to, which gave him a sense of something strange having happened while he had been away. And so, he put on a pair of slippers from the basket next to the door and wrapped a blanket over his shoulders before knocking on the window of the door, to let his mate know he would make him company.

Slaine stiffened at hearing the knock, like he was spooked by it, and turned to look over his shoulder. The hood did not follow the head properly as he looked at Inaho; his face was partially hidden from the brunet’s gaze. The moment their eyes met, the blond’s expression – stiff from the surprise of the knock – softened, and Inaho stepped outside back into the summer night.

“Have you been out here long?” he asked immediately to stimulate a conversation to begin on the silent porch; would he be silent, he was sure Slaine would not say a word.

“I’m not sure,” the blond answered with a quiet tone, awkwardly knocking his nails against the porcelain mug resting in his lap when Inaho sat down next to him. “I haven’t really kept track of the time.”

“Are you cold?” the young brown-haired man asked instead and watched his mate shake his head.

They fell into silence. Something was going on; Inaho could feel it just by drawing in the atmosphere he suspected had changed the moment Slaine had set his eyes on him.

Instead of letting the silence drag on, the brunet turned his eyes to the forest and stared at the tree trunks ahead, and asked quietly:

“Is everything all right?”

He heard Slaine take a deep breath before the blond turned his head up to look at the roof overhead, obviously being nervous and unsure of what to say.

In other words, not everything was right.

“It’s fine,” Inaho assured him: “You don’t have to say anything right now.”

“I think I have to,” his mate answered with a voice that sounded like he was deeply troubled by something. “It shouldn’t wait; the psychologist has told me over and over again that I can’t carry a heavy secret alone – that I have to share it with someone when I feel like bursting.”

“Are you bursting?” the brunet wondered out loud, and the other nodded.

“It’s just difficult to begin,” the blond mumbled and chewed on his lower lip the way he used to when he was deeply conflicted – a habit Inaho found quite helpful as it made his mate easier to read now that he had no analytical engine to turn to for help.

The silence dragged on for a short while, and then the blond whispered:

“You know the marks that won’t fade?”

“What about them?” the brunet asked and waited.

Slaine hesitated and seemed to try wording his thoughts multiple times, before he finally said:

“The obstetrician knew why they’re not fading and why I’m sleeping so much. He even scolded me a little.” Again, he took a deep breath and squeezed the mug in his hand tightly. “The heat we had as a pair…” Again, he hesitated. “It took.”

“Took?” Inaho asked somewhat confused and turned to look at the blond. “We already know we are bond-“

When he saw the horribly nervous expression on his mate’s face, he understood this “took” did not refer to their bond.

“I’m only three weeks in, but it’s there,” Slaine whispered and seemed to get tears in his eyes. Despite that, he tried to look brave and tilted his head while looking at the mug and played with it with weak fingertips. “We have been careless.”

Inaho knew what he meant. He was certain of it, but he had to confirm it as he could otherwise not comprehend it. Thus, he asked:

“Are you pregnant?”

When the blond nodded with a heavy frown on his face, Inaho understood the graveness of the situation. It was not serious because they had done something wrong; it was because they had done something that was life changing and required heavy responsibilities – responsibilities Inaho was sure neither he nor Slaine were mentally ready to shoulder. He had felt a strange feeling of guilt after each mating occasion during which they had not used protection; he had been aware of them doing something risky, but because of the heat of the moment and him trusting Slaine to know what he was doing when giving him careless promises, Inaho had succumbed to the heats and done what his mate had wanted him to do. Now, it seemed it had turned out to be one of the most mindlessly careless things he had ever done in his life.

“What do you want to do?” the brunet asked quietly.

“What _should_ I do?” the blond asked nearly hopelessly and breathed a heavy breath. “I’m still as fragile as a house made of cards, and even though we have bonded I’m still not in love with you because of my issues.” He pulled up his knees against the chest and leaned a tired head against them. “I would be lying if I said you don’t matter to me, though, but I’m hopeless in letting people close, and now there’s a third person developing that wants room in our life.”

“We’ve barely settled down just the two of us,” the brunet said, and Slaine nodded.

“Nine months is a short time, really,” he whispered.

Inaho felt the consequences of their reckless behavior cling over his shoulders. He had been aware of it too; that they had perhaps been careless at times during their mating occasions. It should have not been a surprise as the obstetrician had warned them about it five weeks ago, and yet they had had unprotected sex to satisfy their primitive needs, ignoring the risk they were taking as there had not been any room for it when they were too far away from the stash of condoms. They had explained their risky behavior away with arguments based on it being too early for Slaine’s body to accept a new pregnancy. Now, Inaho realized how horribly juvenile they had been by underestimating the omega’s body.

Strangely, he felt contented, like he had fulfilled something important, but he was also aware of the situation not being the ideal to shoulder such responsibilities a little human required; they had barely settled with the responsibilities they had now. On top of that, they were both still young and yet not left their teenage years; Slaine was nineteen and Inaho eighteen. No matter how much the war had matured them, they were young adults nonetheless. The only experience they had was the experience of soldiers.

“Do you want to abort it?” Inaho asked; he felt like he had to ask the question, as they would otherwise not come to a decision.

“I don’t know,” answered the blond.

“Why don’t you know?” the brunet asked, and Slaine sighed heavily.

“I’m not sure…” he whispered and leaned his head back again to stare at the roof once more.

“You’re hesitating.”

“I guess I am…”

Inaho thought for a while more. Slaine was hesitating because it was not a matter of course he wanted to abort the pregnancy. In other words, there was something within him that told him not to do it; to keep the child if it would come to be. Teenagers went through this kind of difficulties every day after being just as reckless at the fated pair, and all of them made either good or bad decisions. Somehow, they survived anyway no matter what kind of decision they made, and Inaho was sure he and Slaine would not be much different.

If Slaine decided to abort the pregnancy, he would either go on without being bothered by it, or – if he regretted it – have it weigh his shoulders down for, in worst case scenario, many years to come.

If Slaine decided to keep it and let it run its course, both he and Inaho would shoulder the responsibilities of the decision. Their family would be facing conflicts as one of the parents would be hospitalized and the other would be a student. It would be difficult. It would be straining. Their life would be hard and filled with overwhelming moments that would most probably make them want to blow out of frustration.

But…

They had all the support a broken family could wish for in the social services and healthcare provided by the empress. They also had a secured future now that Seylum had taken over the care of Slaine.

“The obstetrician also said that if I keep the child, I’ll get a new identity,” Slaine suddenly said with a tired and trembling voice. For a moment, Inaho wondered if Slaine was hesitating about the pregnancy because he wanted an identity and be registered as a person alive, but when Slaine continued, he learned his suspicion was completely off the mark: “I’ll be considered alive again as the child has to have a mother,” he said with a whisper. He turned to look at Inaho with eyes filled with sorrow and hope. “I’ll be legally a mother; this time, no one can take the child away from me.”

Suddenly, the brunet understood what Slaine was hesitating about.

“Like the vice admiral would have done?” Inaho asked, and a tear rolled down the omega’s cheek. He was more traumatized about the previous and forced pregnancy than he had shown until now; the blond had not shown much thought about the miscarriage, but the pregnancy itself seemed to be a problem. Had the blond carried this fear all this time? “The miscarriage,” he then began to say and waited for Slaine to have brushed the tear away from this cheek before continuing: “You’re not hesitating about keeping the child because you fear an abortion; you’re hesitating because you fear someone will take the child away from you, are you not?”

The vulnerable omega turned his face away and hid the grief he most likely was expressing. Inaho did not want to be shut out from his mate’s difficult moment; he wanted to be present in his mate’s suffering and give him support. With this wish, he moved closer – carefully so that he would not frighten the other who probably was vigilant at the moment.

“I was terrified back then…” the pitiful creature whispered with a trembling voice. “That I would carry and give birth to a child that I would not be allowed to hold, not even once… Why do you think I was so chaotic back then; that I acted like an insane animal?” The hunched body rocked as he sniffled. “It’s not that I wanted the child from the start, really,” he continued saying, opening up to the brunet more and more. “But just the mere thought of me being pregnant made me grieve over the fact that it would be taken away from me; that I would not have a choice but to make a child and give it away. I’m sure it would have wrecked me entirely if it ever happened, because I’m deep down very sensitive; I wouldn’t be able to survive that.”

“It didn’t happen,” Inaho said and hesitated to reach out a hand to touch the blond as he knew how difficult intimacy was for the other.

“Because I had to let it die to survive,” his mate answered with a pained gasp from quiet sorrow.

“You didn’t kill it,” Inaho corrected him; to remind him he was not at fault. “ _He_ killed it.”

“I could have taken the beating; I could have protected it,” the blond continued, and Inaho finally reached out a hand and put it on his mate’s shoulder that turned out to have been trembling weakly all this time.

“Then you would have truly died,” he told him. “You cannot be blamed for not wanting to lie down and be raped and beaten for the rest of your life. You know as well as I do that he would have continued to come back to take child after child away from you until you died. It’s his fault because he could not treat you gently as he lacked humility; he had to abuse you despite knowing you were pregnant; you can’t be held accountable for that.”

Slaine had been strong and quite calm and mellow during the past weeks after their bond; he had not acted out on anything in particular the way he had when he had been a prisoner. Now, however, the weak omega slumped his body forward and buried his face into his hands, crying properly for the first time after their bond and heat. He was grieving for what he had gone through, probably finding it horrible now that it had settled in his mind along with his body carrying a life for the second time. His recent past had caught up with him along with the pregnancy, but – this time – there was no need for him to suffer alone.

“We will make it work somehow,” the brunet said – repeating the words he knew had given the omega hope in the past. By moving closer, he could reach to caress his hand over the omega’s upper back – from shoulder to shoulder – to show him he was there for him. “It’ll be difficult, but we will make it work and give the child the best life possible with the little we have. We will fail plenty of times and the child will cry, but-“

“That’s the way of life,” Slaine said with a voice thick from crying, interrupting the brunet. “An honest and unperfected life…” He dried his tears and sniffled again, only to look up at the darkening cloud-covered sky. “That’s all life has to be,” he then mumbled and took a deep and trembling breath. “If you only have someone to make it work with…”

“I have promised you,” Inaho said and looked up at the sky as well. “I’ll be there to support you, and I’ll help you through it all. I won’t leave you or the child.”

His mate lowered his head and hung it in shame while staring intently at his hands, playing with his nails against each other like he was desperate for something to distract his mind. With lips tightly pressed together – to hold back the tears that forced their way out onto his brave cheeks – he brooded in silence, trying to collect his mind. Inaho watched him from the corner of his eye and felt how his heart beat for the other. It ached as well, as he knew his mate’s brave exterior – despite the tears and grief – was nothing but a shield.

‘ _I’m scared_ ,’ the brunet thought and began calculating the months in his mind. ‘ _The child will be born in February next year_.’

No matter how scared he was of the impending adulthood – to possibly become a father in nine months – he was sure Slaine was feeling more exposed to the worries of how things would work out, as he was the one to carry the child and by that do the hardest of the work. On top of that, he had been through horrors Inaho could not even begin relating to concerning pregnancies; all Inaho had was the images and voices of the abused omega and his own interpretations of the past situation; he could never learn the complex feelings Slaine had felt.

‘ _Now you’re forced to face them once more_ ,’ the brunet thought, worried for his mate’s strength. ‘ _How long have you been sitting out here, trying to collect your strength to go through this again?_ ’

“It’s scary,” Slaine suddenly said and smiled weakly. “I’m terrified.”

“I’m sure. Me too,” the brunet answered frankly, and the blond young man turned to look at his mate.

They stared at each other for a little while – just bathing in the other’s gaze to confirm that they saw each other – and then Slaine’s face contorted again as he began crying anew, and he took a tight hold of the brunet’s hand and lowered his head, crying with painful whimpers. Inaho’s heart ached more for each whimper his mate exclaimed.

They exchanged no words for a long time and let their touch speak for them. Slaine held his mate’s hand tighter than ever before and took the support he was given, and Inaho caressed the back of the hand that held his, letting his mate cry for as long as he needed.

“Why is my life only based on bad decisions?” Slaine suddenly asked and sniveled, not raising his head from his mate’s chest. “If we had used the condoms every time, then we would not have this problem right now.”

“Because you couldn’t help yourself, and I wasn’t helpful either; we both made wrong decisions during our heats; you’re not the only one to be blamed and take responsibility,” Inaho said quietly. “But I think that you’re making the right decision now to keep the child; I believe you would regret an abortion considering the way you cry now. Whatever decision that makes you smile will be the right decision.”

“Would it really?” the blond asked and dried his nose with the sleeve of the hoodie. “How can we be sure of that? What if we can’t do it?”

“Would you view it as a mistake?” Inaho wondered out loud, and Slaine shook his head.

“A child is never a mistake whether the pregnancy was intentional or not,” he answered breathlessly with a deepening frown. “The parents lose all their right to claim the child was a mistake after giving birth to it; if there are problems with the child, it’s the parents’ fault and not the child’s…”

The brunet felt relieved when hearing that, and he could not help but to feel proud over his mate. They shared similar views about bringing a child to the world, and that alone was a security in this somewhat shaky moment.

“And if we promise that we’ll make it work,” Inaho insisted: “Then no matter what, we _will_ make it work.”

“It’ll be difficult,” the blond sniffled and looked up at his mate.

“But we will make it work,” the brunet insisted, and the blond got a weak smile on his tear-stained lips, and whispered:

“We’ll fail a lot of times.”

“But that’s the way of life, and we will make it work.”

“Make it work…” the blond sighed with relaxing shoulders and the smile on his lips widened just slightly while the tears kept dripping from his chin. “… the two of us.”

After nodding, Inaho waited for his mate to calm down by sitting next to him and gave him all the support he needed while thinking about their relationship. It would be unfair for the child to be born into a family where its parents lacked love for each other. Inaho could not ignore the lack of emotional bonding between him and Slaine. The blond only showed a warped form of intimacy during mating, and it had not managed to reach out into their everyday life.

He was also aware of the attachment issues Slaine had, disallowed him to have a normal relationship to someone because he was differently programmed both emotionally and psychosocially compared to others. Even if Inaho, too, had problems by lacking a proper attachment style – with him being parentified due to growing up in an overpopulated orphanage, managed by grownups who could not afford to care enough – he was still able to find ways to connect to others.

‘ _The way I show I love or care about someone is by caring for them_ ,’ he thought. He had always been the one to fix and managed problems or difficulties others encountered; he was a master at problem-solving as long as it was outside the emotional sphere. ‘ _Perhaps that is what is lacking?_ ’ he then thought as he thought about it like this. ‘ _Slaine is passionate; he needs someone who can answer to his emotional needs;_ I _have to answer to his emotional needs; I have to be on his level somehow – like when we both wore the same clothes from the storage the day we bonded_.’

Then how would he do that? Slaine was a difficult person to approach and he lacked self-understanding. Besides that, he was quite good at shutting others out, not allowing them to peek inside his heart.

Sex. Inaho had noticed his mate was emotionally available during sex in a completely different way when not indulging in such pleasures. Was it because of his confidence in such moments?; he had shown that he harbored a blazing confidence when they mated after all.

It took a little while of thought and then some more time to come to a decision and collect his courage. As he had done so, he turned to his mate who was slowly calming down:

αβΩ

“Come with me upstairs,” he heard his fated mate say, and Slaine looked up at him with nervous curiosity.

“Now?” he asked, feeling somewhat cornered as he suspected his mate wanted to have sex with him.

“Come,” Inaho said and stood up, holding Slaine’s hand that already clutched around it and waited, as if to invite the blond with him.

Slaine looked at their hands and then at his mate. He could not say no; he had to go with him; something told him he should not refuse. Weakly, he raised his body to stand after drying his tears away, feeling heavy all over.

“Inaho…” he said quietly. “I’m not in the mood for sex.”

“Trust me,” the brunet answered, surprising the blond with how mellow his voice sounded out of nowhere. “Once we’re upstairs, I will let you decide what you want to do.”

The young blond frowned and stared at his mate’s back, allowing him to be guided inside the house by the hand holding his. When he followed his mate, he noticed how calm and careful the other’s movements were – like he was nervous of going up the stairs but had decided to do it anyway. It felt like he was resigning himself to something with hesitation, which made Slaine’s curiosity less anxious.

‘ _What have you planned on doing?_ ’ he wondered and listened to the steps creak beneath their weight.

They entered the apartment-like floor and the brunet guided Slaine straight into the bedroom. Letting go of Slaine’s hand and leaving him at the door, and with his back turned against him, Inaho began undressing – starting with his blazer. The room got a heavy feeling to it which made Slaine wonder if he should do something, like ask the brunet to stop.

“Inaho-“ he began carefully, deciding it would be the best to interrupt the other, but he found himself be interrupted instead:

“You’ve always been the one to be pushed down and entered during mating, right?” Inaho asked without looking at him, and continued unbuttoning the shirt.

“What?” Slaine asked confused and blinked a couple of times, before answering the young brunet’s question. “Y-yeah. Why?”

“You are male,” Inaho continued saying, pulling his shirt off and revealing the plain short-sleeved shirt beneath. “I want you to mate with me like a male; like a man.”

“Huh?” the blond asked, not understanding what the other was aiming at.

He was male, and he was mating just like a male omega should; by receiving the alph-

The confused thoughts came to an immediate stop as he suddenly reacted to the last words his mate had spoken. Like a man. Just purely a man; not a male omega. What Inaho asked him to do was to use what nature had given him and do to Inaho what he had done to Slaine.

The prideful alpha male was allowing his omega to be the one penetrating him.

“I think that for you to trust me and love me, we have to be equals not only in the roles we have outside our bedroom, but also physically when we mate,” Inaho explained and unbuttoned his trousers, dropping them hesitantly to the floor. “I thought a while,” he continued and stepped out of the pile of cloth, leaving them on the floor. “And I remembered you found comfort from me wearing the same clothes as you did the day we bonded. It made you open up to me even a little, and you told me about how you became a pilot. Do you remember that?”

“Y-yes,” Slaine answered and felt surprised the brunet had bothered remembering something like that.

“Therefore, I want you to know that I look at you as an equal,” Inaho said and pulled down his briefs as well, all the way down and stepped out of them. “I would be a liar if I refused to take your part while mating as that would only mean I view your position of being penetrated as demeaning or degrading for me as an alpha.”

“Inaho-“ Slaine began to protest a little, feeling overwhelmed and confused of what was going on – if he was allowed to accept the other’s invitation or not.

“You should not carry a degrading role at any time with me, as there’s nothing degrading about being penetrated by a mate, and I want to prove that to you. By leveling our positions like this, I hope you can overcome your last hurdle that separates us as a family; for you to truly trust me and love me back,” his mate interrupted him and turned around, stark naked and bravely exposed.

The words his fated mate spoke made the tears flow anew. The omega hid his face against his hands and squatted down onto the floor to cry from great confusion and wonderful relief. No one had ever made such sacrifices for him; no alpha or beta had ever been brave enough to stand on the same step of the hierarchy, next to him. To have an alpha – standing high up on the ladder of hierarchy – willingly step down to the lowest step – to the level of an omega – and speak of it in a light that made him feel like he was worth something, was something he had not even thought about. It had been out of the question even in his own provocative mind, as he had never expected an alpha to be penetrated by an omega like this.

‘ _What do I do?_ ’ he thought and sobbed. He was rendered immobile; too weak and confused to know what to do or say.

Inaho walked closer to him and knelt in front of him, pulling Slaine’s hands down to peer at his crying face.

“I know you think of being penetrated as something degrading, like the position of being penetrated is victimizing – otherwise you wouldn’t have been so aggressive when mating with me,” Inaho said quietly, and Slaine felt like he had heard that being said before. The brunet continued: “You take control immediately by becoming violent to not give your partner a chance to reduce you into a victim. Deep down, behind that confident attitude of yours, you’re scared when having sex with others, right?”

Slaine felt his face contort from the painful truth of always feeling like a victim. Hearing Inaho say it this bluntly made him feel like he had been slapped by reality, bringing something old up from the grave he had dug years ago. Now that he heard it being said, he remembered the obstetrician had said something similar earlier today but not pinpointed anything in particular. Inaho, however, had seen this and found the truth not even Slaine had wanted to admit, making the blond realize he could not deny it anymore even the slightest; Inaho was in love with him. There was nothing to hesitate about concerning him; he _would_ be there for him and care for him; he would _not_ abandon him or hurt him.

“Will you do this with me?” he heard his mate ask after he had let him cry for a short while, and Slaine looked up at him from behind his messy bangs. Inaho looked at him sincerely. “Will you show me how it’s like?”

Slaine stared at him, feeling grateful for the other to want to do something like this with him; to give the omega a chance to be a little more than an omega by doing something others had done to him, but what he had never been allowed to do in his entire life.

‘ _To be a human…_ ’ he thought and gently removed his hands from Inaho’s gentle grip and raised them slowly, hesitantly, while raising his head a little as well. ‘ _Us being nothing but human…_ ’

His fingertips brushed the black patch covering his mate’s left eye – the eye he had destroyed in a fit of jealousy and anger – and Inaho waited patiently and let him be touched by the blond’s curious hands.

“Let me see all of you,” Slaine whispered and lowered his fingers to the bottom edge of the eyepatch, letting the brunet know he wanted to remove it.

Inaho – still and trusting – did nothing to stop him, and Slaine pushed his fingers carefully up against the edge of the eyepatch, pushing it upward until the strap holding it in place lost its hold and the patch fell to the floor.

A scar and beautiful skin were revealed beneath it. The scar was in the outer corner of the eye, reaching beneath the eyelid that covered the emptiness beneath. It looked different to an eye that was still left in its socket; the eyelid was flatter than it would have been had Inaho still had his eye.

Guilt washed over the blond, who leaned forward slowly before giving the eyelid a kiss. Then, with a breath shivering from nervousness, he hesitantly removed the hoodie. As he was about to get naked, he was reminded he was now an expecting mother, which made him feel vulnerable when exposing his body to someone. Inaho seemed to notice his hesitation, as he reached out a hand beneath the hoodie to touch the blond’s skin while looking at him, and said:

“I’m vulnerable, too; don’t be scared.”

Slaine looked at him for a short while before deciding to remove the hoodie. Cold air caressed his naked skin on his torso once he did so, but he stood up from the floor and continued undressing his lower body as well. Inaho, however, did not stand up. He was left on his knees on the floor and reached for Slaine’s hips to pull him closer.

Slaine knew immediately what was going on as his mate’s actions were clear with what his intentions were. It felt strange, as Slaine had mostly been through this in the form of abuse; his abusers had done this to humiliate him by forcing him into an orgasm while being wounded and too tired and terrified to fight back; to “teach” him he loved being raped and abused. Harklight, however, had done this out of nothing but adoration.

How would Inaho do it?

Slaine complied and allowed Inaho to pull him close enough to have his naked crotch right in front of his face. His mate was studying the area, hesitating for a while before looking up at the omega to ask if it was all right.

“You don’t have to,” Slaine said quietly, suddenly feeling pity for his still not experienced mate.

“I want to,” the brunet answered, and Slaine nodded slowly and gasped nervously when feeling Inaho’s moist breath against his sensitive skin.

A wet and warm tongue slithered from the tip of the still limp member and all across its shaft, reaching the pale pubic hair. It continued teasing the base, awkwardly coaxing it to erect itself, and Slaine took a deep breath and felt something kindly thrilling run down his spine and tease his loins. He was slowly getting excited – his flesh hardening.

As Inaho had gotten used to the taste and smell of Slaine’s cock, he grew less awkward and lowered his head to lap up the tip of the hardening flesh with a tongue and had it slip into his mouth, shyly letting it enter just to the fleshy crown. Then he closed his lips around it and gave it a little suck.

“Ahh…” Slaine gasped quietly as his loins and the pit of his stomach tingled pleasantly.

The soft but coarse texture of his mate’s tongue rubbed shyly against the lower part of the tip, sending another rush of sweet tingles and even an electric shock down the blond’s spine as the area was greatly sensitive.

“Mmh…” he moaned and bit his lower lip and closed his eyes, frowning from the rare feeling.

His noises seemed to edge the brunet on as he dared to begin bobbing his head slowly – just slightly at first, before he became less nervous and more daring by taking the blond’s cock deeper into his mouth. Wet noises tickled the blond’s ears and his breath shivered. It felt good to be buried inside something wet and warm like this, with the velvety texture of a mouth rubbing around his meat.

Inaho was concentrating at what he was doing, moving his tongue and head in perfect rhythm to draw out the honey from his mate. With both his now hard cock and ass leaking mating-nectar, the blond reached down his hands and caressed his mate’s tousled hair with a soft touch to not alarm him but to praise him silently to let him know he was doing well. He did not move his hips as he thought it would be a little too intense during the brunet’s first time of giving service; he let Inaho decide how fast or slow, shallow or deep he wanted it to go.

‘ _You must be worried I’ll get aggressive with you_ ,’ the blond thought and swallowed hard, caressing his mate’s head again and feeling a strand of hair tickle his middle finger.

“Ohh…” he gasped as Inaho sucked a little harder. “Mmh…” Then, right after Inaho pulled the cock out of his mouth, he twirled his tongue over the tip, making Slaine huff and gasp from the sudden stimuli: “Haahh! I-Inaho…!” he gasped and leaned slightly forward, feeling how his knees grew weak beneath him. “Mmph! T-that’s too good…!”

“Do you want me to stop?” he heard his mate ask quietly with a breath after pulling his head back a little, looking up at Slaine.

The blond met his inquisitive look and felt how he swooned from the sight of his fated mate watching him from below.

“N-no,” he whispered and looked at his mate. “Just a little more…”

Inaho complied, grabbing both of Slaine’s hip bones with a gentle squeeze and scooped up the cock back into his mouth. This time he played with the foreskin, nibbling on it with his lips and pushing his tongue inside to tease the tip with a pointy tongue. The blond felt like squirming where he stood from the wonderful tease he was served, and he released a pathetic whimper.

Strangely, he did not feel aggressive at all even though his loins were heating up. Secretion was trickling down between his legs as his ass was becoming wet. He felt nervous but bravely so; he wanted to continue and not stop until he had been allowed to reach an orgasm inside the brunet. The curiosity of how that would feel like was gnawing at his mind, and he could not wait to find out. At the same time, he was patient as he had no wish to stress this moment. He wanted Inaho to feel all right, and he wanted to enjoy this just enough to be satisfied and not overwork his mate, who was showing him kindness unlike anyone else.

He felt grateful.

“Mmnn… T-that’s enough,” he gasped after a while more.

Inaho, with lips slightly red from the sucking, pulled the blond’s cock out and dried his mouth before looking up at him, asking him with a silent question what Slaine wanted him to do. Now that Slaine was to make a decision on how things would play out, he felt slightly lost.

“G-get on the bed,” he said quietly, accidentally making it sound more like an order than the request it was supposed to be and instantly wished Inaho would be able to overlook it and understand he was feeling nervous.

His mate, naked and somewhat braver than the omega, did as he was told and lay down on his back onto the neatly made bed. When Slaine met his nervous look, he took a deep breath and carefully climbed up onto the bed as well. For a brief moment he wondered if he was supposed to lie down next to Inaho or on top of him, but when he moved closer Inaho shifted a leg outward to open up his embrace – let Slaine know it was all right to lay down on top of him.

The blond, watching the sacrificing mate, slowly climbed up on top of him. He could feel the musky smell of his mate’s genitalia as he did so – giving his mind a brief but good spin – and then the weak hint of sweat from his neck and beneath his arms as he moved upward. Once he stood on all four above the brunet, Inaho kept watching him with calm nervousness; Slaine had learned to distinguish his slight emotional expressions during the past weeks and found it helpful in this moment.

He was glad he was not the only one who was nervous.

“Come…” Inaho finally said silently with a shallow breath, stretching his arms out to invite the blond into his already open embrace.

The invitation – so vulnerable and precious – made Slaine obey, and he lay down on top of his mate and felt his warm skin against his. Their chests and stomachs, hips and groins pushed tightly against each other – snuggling together due to Slaine’s weight – and the blond hid his face against the duvet right next to Inaho’s head, lying cheek to cheek with his mate and felt the other’s breaths against his neck and shoulder.

They lay like that for a little while to linger in the moment and feel the other’s body against their. Neither of them knew what to do as they knew they were breaking a taboo out of a mere whim, and they simply had to hesitate until they had found courage to continue. The omega – completely inexperienced as a top – struggled to wrap his mind around what they were about to do and, after a while, he noticed he found it thrilling. To break at taboo… To do something he was not supposed to do according to the gender roles in society was exhilarating – and he sighed:

“Are you sure about this?”

“I am,” his mate answered and felt his palms caress his back, from his shoulder blades down to his hips, right above his buttocks. The hands shook slightly. “I trust you won’t turn aggressive.”

Slaine shook his head. There was no way he could get such confidence now in a moment like this. The pregnancy made him feel vulnerable enough as it was; this taboo-breaking act sucked out the last drops of confidence he had.

“I won’t,” he breathed out after a deep breath. “I won’t hurt you.”

Inaho was brave. Slaine knew that if he would become aggressive Inaho would not fight him; he would accept the abuse because of his sacrificial nature. He was always selfless. That Slaine had learned months ago and was probably his mate’s only characteristic he thus far knew by heart. This also meant the young alpha put all his faith in the chaotic omega, trusting him with his body and heart. Slaine could break him entirely like this; fuck him up real good if he so wished. Had they been in a moment like this just a handful of weeks before they had bonded, Slaine was sure he would have raped the young alpha into a bleeding mess simply because he could, out of spite and fear and need of control and in search of amends for what alphas had done to him. The anger back then had been unbearable.

‘ _But I’m not like that anymore…_ ’ he thought. ‘ _My demons from the past won’t reach me like they used to when I’m with you_.’

After hesitating for a little while more, Slaine finally found courage to turn his head slightly and kissed the shell of his mate’s ear. Inaho’s hands on his hips stiffened at the touch and his breaths grew shallower. The blond let him grow used to the tickling and kissing around his ear and on the skin right beneath it before raising his head even more to look at his mate. Their gazes collided, and Slaine looked down at the brunet with a questioning look to ask if it was still all right to continue. When Inaho waited obediently, he finally lowered his head and let his lips land on the other’s – and they kissed.

Just like inexperienced teenagers, they kissed awkwardly at first and let their lips rub shyly together while tasting each other. It was innocent and nervous, especially now that Slaine was about to do something he had never done before. No matter how sexually experienced he was, he was not confident for this.

Their soft cocks lay next to each other, gently pressed in between their sweaty loins and embedded in their pubic hair. Neither of them reacted at first to the kiss, but once Inaho released a quivering breath after they had rubbed the tips of their tongues together, Slaine felt a sweet tingle in his loins. His body began to respond, and Inaho noticed this as well and sucked in a deep breath.

Slaine – understanding of his mate’s anxious state – continued kissing and paid his hardening cock no mind. He tried to draw the focus away from it and concentrate it into their kisses, and Inaho bravely let the blond continue to kiss him until they deepened them.

Their lips spread open more and more and their tongues ventured out from their mouths and rubbed together. The amount of saliva increased and Slaine heard the brunet swallow their mix as it naturally pooled in the back of his mouth from having Slaine on top of him. This sound – the sound of his mate willingly swallowing his body fluids – increased the sense of arousal, and Slaine finally raised a hand and pushed it up into the tousled hair, from Inaho’s jaw and over the ear. When he did so, Inaho responded as well with a voiceless huff, urging the blond to continue caressing him gently.

‘ _He’s so soft in his ways_ ,’ Slaine thought somewhat amused and caressed his hand toward the back of Inaho’s head, down the brown hair that felt slightly coarse against his palm. His mate had thick hair compared to Slaine’s thin strands.

Inaho seemed to start relaxing the longer Slaine pampered him with caresses, and soon the blond could feel the cock next to his begin swelling as well – telling him he as a top was doing all right.

That was when the kisses shared between innocent teenagers began to turn into the kisses of mating adults, and Slaine coaxed Inaho’s lips wider apart and attacked his mouth with an eager kiss. He felt hunger in his blood that began pumping through his body, harder and harder along with his heart speeding up.

Inaho seemed to feel something similar; he took a deep breath while allowing Slaine to assault his mouth and raised weak hands to caress him through his hair, pulling gentle fingers through the silky strands and collect the overgrown hair in a messy bun behind the blond’s head. This sent a wonderful shiver down the omega’s back, and he huffed from the sweet sensation, making him feel like a cat being petted. Instead of purring, he steadied his body onto his elbows on either side of his mate and raised his body just slightly. Then, he moved his hips carefully to rub their hardening meat against each other’s skin. Inaho – still nervous – moaned breathlessly into the blond’s mouth:

“Hmmn…!”

Eagerness took a hold of the blond. It felt so thrilling to have a mate beneath him like this, willing to receive his lust just like he had received the lust of others throughout his life. He thought for a moment his body would be blown to pieces before he got the chance to use his cock for the first time and penetrate the other with it, which made him want to skip the starter and proceed to the main course.

“Inaho…” he whispered, letting the excitement pour out of him with the sigh, when parting their lips just for a moment to let the brunet know the blond wanted to advance. Then, immediately after, he could not help himself but to plunge his tongue back into the brunet’s mouth; he wanted to be connected with the other as much as possible, to the point his lips cried for the other’s the moment he pulled back. “Mmmh…!”

Inaho seemed to hesitate. He did nothing to invite the other to do more than they already did, which made Slaine feel somewhat insecure and nervous of them not continuing this act further than these kisses. What if Inaho changed his mind? What if he wished to stop? The obstetrician’s warning rang in his mind, and Slaine knew he could not push the matter at all; he had to accept Inaho’s wishes – and he would.

Instead of advancing, Slaine accepted the other’s hesitation and let their kissing continue, throwing more and more fuel to the flames of heat the blond began to feel. The heat was different though; he was not becoming mindless like he usually did. Instead, he felt like this was something he could choose to do, like he was not helpless against it. His pheromones did not explode like they used to, and neither did Inaho’s. The scent that drifted around them was calming, and they both seemed to feel completely reasonable and sensible. Was it because they were nervous, or was it because of something else he had not recognized?

Their tongues rubbed against each other and their crotches did the same. Wetness spread between their legs and Slaine felt how his own body lubricated from his ass. It slithered down his balls and smeared his mate’s sack and ass as well, messing them both up like they were the same kind of creatures. That was when Inaho raised his hands and put them on Slaine’s shoulders, pushing him slightly back.

‘ _He doesn’t want to continue?_ ’ the blond immediately feared, and then felt surprised by this uncomfortable feeling.

“I’m not like you…” Inaho said and looked at the blond with a hazy gaze, making Slaine feel confused for a moment. His lashes were wet. “My body won’t just accept you,” the mate continued and took a deep breath that shook – from nervousness or heat, Slaine could not tell. “I have to be prepared.”

“Prepared?” Slaine asked and swallowed down the excess saliva gathering in his mouth.

“With fingers,” the brunet said and seemed to feel awkward – something Slaine had only seen for the first time like this. “I have to be loosened up first…” he then mumbled and closed his burgundy eye, hiding from Slaine’s gaze.

Loosened up. Slaine had not even thought about it, and he realized he knew very little about every other kind of sex than the one he was used to. A male alpha’s body was not made to accept foreign bodies like a male omega’s was, and Slaine understood that Inaho feared it would hurt if the blond simply pushed into him without making his body used to it first. Would he even get used to it? Could a male alpha’s body get used to being penetrated?

‘ _If male betas can, and females too, then he should be able to do it as well_ ,’ the blond concluded and gave his mate an understanding nod.

“I’ll help you,” he whispered and gave Inaho’s lips a gentle kiss and raised his body to give his hand room between their legs.

The secretion the omega had leaked was sticky and everywhere on their skin and the bed. It was so rich he could soak his fingers in it to make them slick and use it as lubricant. After smearing them down all the way to his knuckles, he looked at Inaho again and watched his closed eye for a reaction when moving the sticky fingers down behind the tense and firm scrotum. The skin was hot and soft, and the moment his fingers slowly followed it down to the hole Inaho’s body flinched and tensed up.

“It’s all right,” Slaine whispered and watched his mate look up at him again. Inaho looked somewhat frightened. “I won’t hurt you,” the blond then promised and lowered his head to give his mate a kiss. “Just tell me if you want me to stop or do something else, and I’ll respect that.”

When Slaine gave the brunet a second kiss, the kiss was answered. In other words, it was all right for him to continue, and – once his fingers touched the fleshy bud between the brunet’s buttocks – he pulled his lips back and whispered:

“Can I push it in? I’ll be careful.”

One of Inaho’s hands let go of the blond’s shoulder and joined Slaine’s between his legs. Their hands made contact and Inaho, with careful fingers, pushed his flesh apart to ease Slaine’s access.

“Slowly,” he requested, and the blond nodded and felt the hot and tender flesh push against the fingertip resting on it. Inaho frowned the moment Slaine felt his fingertip be enveloped by the other’s body, and the frown deepened the further in the blond pushed. When the finger was completely buried within the brunet, Inaho threw his head to the side and gasped. “W-wait,” he said with a strained voice, and Slaine felt his mate’s fingers grab his hand to stop him from moving the finger inside.

He waited.

“You’re really tight,” he said instead and felt somewhat worried as he watched his mate wrinkle his forehead like his finger alone hurt him. “Good thing you thought about this,” he continued, and Inaho took several deep breaths before turning his head back to look at Slaine.

He looked worries as well.

“It’ll b-be fine,” he said quietly. “I have to get used t-to it. I’m sorry if it’s too s-slow like this.”

Sorry? Why would Inaho need the feel to apologize? Slaine knew why his mate needed to take it slow, and he himself did not mind it at all. Even if he felt hot and wanted to stick his throbbing cock inside the other now that the moment was of that kind of nature, he found it so much more interesting and thrilling to prepare the other like this; to be allowed to discover something intimate like this for the first time.

“Don’t apologize,” he answered his mate, to assure him he did not mind. “I find this fun, too.”

“Fun?” Inaho asked and seemed to relax somewhat.

“I mean,” Slaine said awkwardly when realizing his choice of words was odd. “I think this is exciting – having my finger inside you like this. I don’t mind how long it takes.”

His mate looked at him for a short while and then let go of Slaine’s hand, saying quietly:

“Move it a little.”

Slaine complied, pulling his finger out of his mate just a little and watched the other’s facial expression with great care to be prepared if Inaho thought it hurt. Inaho frowned again as the blond’s finger pulled out of him to the last finger joint, and then he gritted his teeth when Slaine pushed it back in. He waited again, allowing Inaho to collect his composure and get used to the finger inside him, and then he was asked to move again.

Inaho did not protest much. Whenever it hurt and he wanted Slaine to stop, his hand assisting the blond’s would grab Slaine’s and hold him still until Inaho felt safe and ready to let the blond continue. He had great difficulties of relaxing, though, and it took a long time for his body to adjust to two fingers. Both of their sexual lust had already subsided by the time Slaine pushed in the third finger, but Inaho was still willing to continue and let Slaine find enjoyment from this kind of activity.

To Slaine, this was far from boring. Watching his mate sigh, grit his teeth and gasp and groan to the fingers moving inside him gave him a great sense of unity. It was different from the bond they shared; which was strangely physical than the sense of unity that haunted his mind now. This time it felt meaningful because Inaho had completely unarmed himself by letting the blond bury his fingers inside him.

“Ahh!” the brunet gasped when Slaine pushed a third finger inside. Inaho was loosening up slowly but steadily, and his groans and gasps had turned somewhat sexual by this point. “Mmhh…” he then moaned when Slaine added a little forceful push to reach as deep into the brunet as he could.

“Is that good?” Slaine asked when the moan had been sultrier than the previous ones.

“I-it’s still uncomfortable,” Inaho answered quietly, squeezing his eye tightly shut. “But I feel e-electrified.”

“Electrified?” Slaine asked and chuckled. He felt awfully relaxed by now. “Is that good or bad?”

“G-good,” was the answer, and he raised his eyebrows from surprise and then smiled gently.

“Should I move?” he asked, and Inaho nodded, squeezing the blond’s shoulder tightly with his fingertips when Slaine pulled his fingers out and then pushed them slowly back inside again. This time, Inaho nearly arched his back and his nails bore deep into Slaine’s skin. “Ow…!” the blond exclaimed quietly, but then looked down toward their naked groins. Inaho was getting hard again. “Did that feel good?” the blond purred and looked up at his mate, who took a deep and calming breath. Immediately, he leaned closer and gave his mate’s dry lips a kiss. “No, no,” he whispered with a smile. “Don’t try to calm down; if it feels good, then go crazy.”

“Haahhh…” Inaho gasped and looked up at his mate with a dazed look. “Mmh…”

Slaine felt lost the moment his mate put both of his arms around his neck to hug him close. His lips were attacked by the brunet’s and a tongue coaxed his out of his mouth. Again, they rubbed their slick tongues together. Inaho was growing hesitatingly greedy, like he was still nervous but also hot at the same time. Their bodies pushed together again and Slaine released the brunet’s fleshy hole to give attention to the kiss his mate demanded. It was passionate, different to how it had been before, and it took the blond completely off guard as he had never shared this kind of passion before.

“Mmnnh,” Slaine sighed and swirled his tongue inside his mate’s mouth. His body was waking up again to proceed with what they had interrupted before. “Haahh…”

Inaho’s arms were tightly wrapped around his neck and head, holding him preciously close like he did not want him do pull away, and Slaine rested on top of him, kissing him with a mouth that watered more and more the longer they kissed. Inaho’s cock was growing harder for each second that passed, and Slaine’s began to follow. The thrill was back as the blond knew what this desperate passion meant, and he began moving his hips to rub their groins together once more.

“Haahh!” Inaho gasped when his cock was stimulated pleasantly, but Slaine attacked his mouth again because his lonely lips could not handle being abandoned.

It felt strange. Slaine’s ass itched, like he wanted it to be plunged into by his mate, but his dick was slowly starting to crave a nice rub as he knew what waited for him just a couple of minutes away. Inaho had given up about his fear and distrust toward the blond as he had relaxed considerately during the blond’s patient treatment, and – because of his considerate gesture – something fundamental was settling between them both. It filled Slaine entirely, making him so passionately exited he could not help but to moan and gasp while pushing his body against his mate’s like he was trying to merge with him.

‘ _I’m losing my mind!_ ’ he thought and could not stop his hands from starting to fondle Inaho all over.

The texture of the young alpha’s skin and the shape of his body was registered in Slaine’s mind like a scanner scanning an image. The soft roughness of the skin caused a shiver to run through him, and the ribs beneath it… The shape of his waist… The curve of his hips… The thighs, stomach, chest, nipples, shoulders, collarbones…! Everything almost drove him mad. He had a body beneath him that hugged him close and kissed him. This body belonged to someone who allowed him to breathe; who gave him a chance to live and be well. It belonged to a man who saw him as a human first and foremost; a creature that was just like him.

“Inaho…!” Slaine gasped again and rubbed their cocks harder between their bellies. Both oozed clear liquid. “I’m about to blow.”

“T-then … take me like an omega,” the brunet gasped after a kiss, and instantly kissed his mate again.

Slaine suddenly frowned from the awkward phrasing and felt his chest grow hot. He felt angry. It was a sudden anger; a shock rather than the brooding fury he was all too familiar with.

Treat an alpha like an omega? It would be an act of idiocy to treat him like an omega, as that was not the case here at all. Inaho was not an omega, nor should he be treated as one as that would defeat the purpose of this moment. It was not about reversing gender roles as there was nothing to reverse.

‘ _Why do people always do this?_ ’ he thought and pulled back from his mate’s kisses to stare at him. ‘ _Why do people insist on fucking around like this with roles during sex?_ ’

No position during sex had a specific gender role; it was not an omega’s and a female beta’s job to be the ones to be fucked by an alpha and male beta, as it was not the alpha’s or male beta’s job to fuck them. That kind of thinking was born from the childish need to clutch around a master mold of gender roles, Slaine thought – roles that told people how to fuck and how to be fucked, like there was a right and wrong way of doing that. All these roles represented were a single warped schematic that tried to defile everything that did not agree with it – like a black trying to suffocate the vibrancy of other colors. It was a bad joke and nothing more. The beta male receiving the other male did not have a role as a female beta just because he was being penetrated. Nor would Inaho – an alpha – have the role of an omega just because Slaine – an omega – was going to penetrate him. Neither would one omega have the role of an alpha when having sex with another omega.

‘ _Don’t fuck with me!_ ’ the blond thought with frustration when Inaho noticed the shift in the atmosphere and looked up at the blond with a questioning look. Slaine knew anger shone in his eyes, as Inaho reacted with nervousness. ‘ _We’re just humans fucking each other_ ,’ he continued thinking. ‘ _I’m not in an alpha’s role now, nor are you in an omega’s role!_ ’

“No, I won’t treat you like an omega,” he said and stared at the brunet. “Don’t insult me like that.”

“Insult you?” Inaho asked and probably wanted to push Slaine off him, but he kept his calm surprisingly well.

“Didn’t you tell me before that there’s nothing degrading with being penetrated?” Slaine asked, and the brunet nodded and watched him carefully, fully aware he had said something bad. “Right now, am I an alpha or an omega?” the blond then asked, and listened to his hesitating mate answer:

“Omega.”

“And are you an alpha or an omega?”

“An alpha…”

Slaine gritted his teeth for a moment, gathering his thoughts

“Then why the hell did you have to say something as stupid as that?” he argued, and Inaho did not even blink while watching the angry blond. “Why did you tell me to take you like an omega when you’re an alpha who’s going to be fucked by an omega? Would you call a woman a man just because she fucks another woman, or a man a woman just because he’s being fucked by another man? Do you even hear how insulting that is?; like an omega or a female beta is less human just because they’re being penetrated! Did you have to bring gender norms and its stupid hierarchy into a moment like this?”

“Slaine, I-“ the brunet tried, but Slaine shook his head.

“No, don’t try to explain it away,” he said and took a deep breath to calm down. Then, the anger subsided and he suddenly felt downhearted. “Can’t you just … be a human instead? These gender roles are exhausting me…” he mumbled and lay down on top of his mate and buried his face against the mattress next to Inaho’s neck. “I will never be an alpha, and you’ll never be an omega no matter how much I penetrate you… Female or male… Alpha or omega… Nothing of that should matter. Why do you have to bring a stupid matrix of opposites like that into this? Gender shouldn’t have anything to do with who fucks who no matter what the position is. It’s just insulting.”

Inaho was silent for a short while, and they lay like that until Slaine felt hands run down his back.

“I’m sorry,” his mate whispered suddenly. “I didn’t realize it could be perceived like that.”

“Me neither until you actually said it,” Slaine answered with a mumble. “It made me really angry for a moment there.”

“I noticed,” the other said and put his arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

The blond did not answer to that. Instead, he let his mate pamper him with calming caresses while he found his footing again after losing it because of the brunet’s insulting comment. Perhaps he had reacted a little too harshly on it, but he could not help it as he was sick and tired of there always having to be polar opposites in every relationship there was. He had always been compared with something, like having his Terran heritage compared to the Versian heritage by a Versian. A servant and a count… A male or a female… An omega or an alpha… Weak or strong… Black or white… Red or blue…

‘ _Stop messing with me!_ ’ he thought and felt tears in his eyes. He was so tired of all of it that he wanted to childishly set the entire world on fire – a dangerous thought he had already tried to live out once.

“Then let’s be nothing but human,” Inaho said and tightened his embrace. “I’ll be proud of you showing me how it feels to be penetrated; I won’t care about what others think if they ever learn that I as an alpha have been taken by an omega; it won’t matter to me.” Slaine felt the brunet spread his legs some more, and a pleasant whisper tickled his ear: “Come.”

Whatever this little incident would result in, Slaine knew he had been taught something valuable, just like Inaho had learned something important. They both had learned what they wanted to be first and foremost; what they _should_ be. They were both humans, and they were both still gullible to how much of the society’s gender norms actually affected them. This had opened up a new door they both had to walk through together, and they would fall into the hierarchy trap time and time again until they had learned how to truly look at each other as human. They would never be completely free from the norms, but as long as they tried to deal with them they could at least discard the norms that were problematic and live with those that did them no harm.

“Don’t stop here,” Inaho urged him quietly and raised his legs to push them against Slaine’s sides, which made him wide open for the blond’s cock. “I want to do this, Slaine.”

Inaho kept on urging him to find the lost heat that had burned in Slaine’s loins just a minute earlier, and the way he touched him slowly rekindled the fire back to life. The blond did not look up at his mate, but rather began moving his hips and felt the tip of his semi-hard dick touch Inaho’s opening. Rubbing against it, he slowly managed to grow hotter for the third time this night, and he was soon hard enough he could push against the opening and tease the flesh apart just slightly. It was still too soft to enter the brunet, but Inaho helped him to get there by nibbling on his ear and scratching his teeth against the flushed bite marks that were as crimson as red roses in bloom.

“Haaahhh…” Slaine finally gasped when he felt teeth graze his neck. Goosebumps exploded on his skin.

“Please, Slaine,” his mate whispered. “I want you inside me.”

The blond could not help but to chuckle hearing the brunet speak such words, and he finally raised his body up on his arms and met the other’s gaze with a smile.

“Idiot,” he said and gave his mate a kiss. “Are you adopting my mating behavior?”

“I thought it would excite you,” Inaho answered and Slaine looked down between their bodies.

“I think it did,” he admitted and then looked back up at the brunet. “Can I push in?”

His mate nodded and took a deep breath, and Slaine lowered a hand to guide his cock into position. His heart began beating wildly, just like he imagined Inaho’s did, and when he added a little force to his hips, the tip of his cock slipped inside.

“Aaaghh!” Inaho gasped and let his head drop back against the pillow.

It was tight inside him, and Slaine groaned as Inaho’s flesh clutched around him like a vise. The tip throbbed slightly painfully and he gritted his teeth, but when Inaho worked hard to calm down and finally relaxed a little, he dared to push deeper inside him. The moment he was completely buried within his mate, a large feeling of overwhelming bliss coursed through him. Inaho held him tightly, breathing calmly and trying to unwind as much as possible to make the sex easier. It was so brave of him, Slaine thought, to do something like this when his body was not made to receive someone else’s cock like this. His body required much more work than Slaine’s, which made this gesture beyond precious; the defenses in his heart were falling apart as his mate’s support and love breached through them.

“Mmh,” the blond grunted and felt the thrill finally take over him entirely. He felt like a kid unwrapping a present when his mate put his own body in the blond’s care. “T-tell me when I can move,” he asked the other, who nodded and gasped:

“Y-you can … move.”

Slaine trusted Inaho’s word and pulled his hips back. When his cock slowly pulled out, Inaho groaned from the uncomfortable feeling and squeezed his eye shut again while burying his nails into Slaine’s skin once more. The blond paid it no mind, trusting his mate to stop him if he needed it. When Slaine felt Inaho’s hole squeeze right beneath the crown of his dick, he decided it was enough and pushed back inside – slowly and carefully to not hurt his mate. He waited like that for a while, allowing Inaho to adjust, and pulled out again.

Just like that, they slowly built up the rhythm. Inaho’s body adjusted after a while, but it was still slightly uncomfortable for him; he wore a confused frown at times on his brow. Slaine made sure to be as careful as he could and not let his sexual desire run wild; if he thrust as hard as he actually wanted, he would most likely damage his mate’s body.

Inaho would probably not feel completely comfortable this time no matter how much they waited for his body to adjust, and not the next time either. Slaine figured, though, that if they repeated this a little now and then, Inaho’s body would get used to it sooner or later. It would allow them to play with their positions and Slaine would be able to relax and not feel the effects of the gender hierarchy he had been enslaved by, by always being the one opening up his body for his mate. To follow such strict roles was stressful, and he had had enough of the passive role he had been forced to bear.

His mate had answered to his need – a need he had not even known he had – and had, by this simple gesture, wiped all the stressors of being an omega away. Now, Slaine was treated like a human. Nothing but a human; the creature he had been born to be. It would be the single role that would always stay with him if he was stripped bare of everything else, and the only role he knew he could fall back on when the world around him crumbled.

“S-Slaine…!” Inaho gasped and called for his mate’s attention. “Haahh!” He almost arched his back at the following thrust.

“W-what?” the blond asked and slowed down somewhat, sweating from heat.

“T-the angle…” Inaho gasped again and raised an arm to take a hold of the bedframe above his head. “A l-little more up.”

“Ahh…! Up?” the blond asked confused, and Inaho nodded and looked at him like he was about to cry.

“T-thrust from below,” the brunet wheezed and swallowed to wet his parched throat.

Slaine understood what the brunet meant and smiled, and did what he had been asked to do. He lowered his hips a little and thrusted, and Inaho released a pleased cry Slaine had never heard him make before.

“A good spot?” Slaine asked and felt his loins grow tired while moving his hips. Being the one penetrating the other was far more exhausting than he had expected.

“Y-yeah,” Inaho answered and reached a hand down to touch his swollen cock that lay on his stomach. It had leaked a clear liquid all over his belly. “Aahh! Mmh!”

The inside of his mate changed when Slaine aimed at the spot Inaho had guided him toward. It was like the muscles grew harder around his meat, squeezing down on him so that an electric shock bulleted down his spine. Even if Slaine thought Inaho was still slightly too tight, he was enjoying himself and his mate’s body. It was a completely new feeling; it felt so much more different to masturbating that he was completely lost as his imaginations of being the one penetrating was smashed to pieces. Someone else was dependent on him working hard to please them. Inaho had allowed himself to be vulnerable like this by allowing Slaine to enter his body, and even if they had had sex plenty of times before, this was the first time sex was completely new to them both.

Slaine’s heart fluttered with joy from sharing a first-time moment with Inaho. It was a tender moment that was not simply about sex. He could feel it change something within him, like he was being sucked into a rabbit hole and did not know where it would take him. His day-to-day armor was falling apart, releasing his tired shoulders from the heaviness of it for the first time in his life. Beneath it, his naked heart was glowing; revealing itself after being released from the dark cage Slaine had built for it to protect it.

‘ _My mate_ ,’ he thought and watched Inaho throw his head to the side while being thrust into. Just moments ago, Inaho was his mate by name: They had bonded and become a pair because they had been attracted to each other. Now however… ‘ _He’s turning to my mate by heart_.’

“I-Inaho!” Slaine cried out like he could not contain his surprise. “Inaho…! Ahhh! Haagh! I-Inaho… Inaho!”

He could not repeat his name enough. His being was being shaken to the core when realizing he was losing his armor; opening up his heart to the other; sharing an intimate moment with someone for the first time. It was frightening and overwhelmingly joyful at the same time.

“S-Slaine…” he heard the soft voice of his mate say, tickling his ears with precious soothing. “Hhaahh…! Slaine…!”

A warm hand landed on his neck, pulling him closer, and the blond opened his eyes and watched his mate’s face appear before him. When lips pushed against his, and when Slaine understood the hand behind his neck would not release him, he felt tears in his eyes. This increased the force behind his thrusts, and Inaho’s moans leaked into his mouth:

“Mmmmh!”

‘ _I’m about to fall apart!_ ’ Slaine thought with strange mixture of fear and relief. ‘ _He really wants me like this! He really does…!_ ’

By pulling Slaine closer in the brunet’s most vulnerable moment, Inaho had given him assurance that he wanted him closer than anyone and trusted him. He indirectly told him there was no need to be afraid of revealing their hearts to each other; that he would hurt as much as Slaine if their relationship fell apart. That alone made the blond confident that it would work, as both of them were aware of the other’s pain being just as painful as their own.

He pulled his lips away, gasping his mate’s name once more, and suddenly felt Inaho’s body tense up.

“Aaaghh!”

Inaho was just seconds away from orgasm, and his gasps grew shallow and his hand moved faster over his shaft. It seemed to have taken him by surprise; a confused expression washed over him when his body tensed up more and more, making his shoulders lift from the mattress.

“HAAHHH! S-SLAINE!” he cried out and gritted his teeth, and the muscles in his ass clutched down so hard around Slaine’s cock that the blond howled from pain. “Mmhh! Ooh! Ah! Haah! AAHH!”

Something warm spurted onto Slaine’s stomach as Inaho came, and the blond looked down from surprise and watched his mate’s cock release white liquid all over their stomachs. The flesh was bright red and swollen, and the base of it began to grow as the knot swelled.

The sight made Slaine almost forget the pain he had just experienced, and his body responded to the knot appearing in his vision. Instead of giving his mate a rest, he continued thrusting into him, and Inaho groaned and grunted from the unending stimulation. Even though it hurt, Inaho allowed Slaine to continue – releasing pitiful cries while the omega sought to quench his own lust and desire for the night.

“Aaahhh!” the blond moaned when he found the perfect rhythm, and their bodies slapped loudly when colliding. “Mmh!”

The smell, the tightness, his mate’s groans and cries along with the new feeling, spun his mind into a hazy swirl. He realized his body had made the brunet reach a climax in a completely new way, and even if he was not entirely sure Inaho was comfortable with this, he still found it exciting and hot to be allowed to do something like this.

He could understand the drunken ways of the alphas he had fallen victim to as it felt incredible to be the one to give pleasure like this and have someone moaning beneath him: He had control in a way he had never had before, which made him feel drunk from power, although he would never allow himself to fall into such disgrace as sexual abuse. It felt like he wanted to make his mate cum again and again by burying his cock inside him, and he wanted Inaho to seduce him into it as well.

“Aaagh!” he groaned when his loins tensed up, and a scorching feeling brewed in the pit of his stomach. “HAAGH!”

“S-Slaine…!” Inaho gasped and put both hands on the blond’s shoulders. “C-cum. Inside…!”

He was allowed to cum inside someone for the first time. He was allowed to reach an orgasm inside his mate. The thought was caught in his mind, making it into the single thought to reside in his brain that boiled with sexual need. He wanted to reach it immediately, to be allowed to have the experience as soon as possible. His hips continued moving harder, until he rammed into the brunet who held his shoulders tightly. The loins hitting Inaho’s buttocks stung weakly with each thrust, and – as suddenly like tripping over a line – his muscles suddenly contracted and forced his back to arch, making him drive his cock deeper into the brunet. He came, releasing his seedless cum inside the other who willingly received it, and – once the aching muscles relaxed – so did he.

Heavily, he slumped on top of his mate and gasped for breath. Weak and sweaty arms wrapped around him, not giving him a chance to cool down, holding him gently. The heart that had been exposed beat violently, hammering in his ears, and he could feel Inaho’s do the same against his chest. He felt so weak with muscles that refused to cooperate after being exhausted, and all he could do was to lie in his mate’s embrace and recuperate.

“I love … you,” Inaho said, intoxicating Slaine’s ears with wonder.

He said it only once, careful to not exhaust the expression by repeating it too much, and the echo of it rung in Slaine’s head. The message his ears had received was sent on down his neck, over his shoulders and down to his chest. Deep inside the chest cavity, his heart received the message and kept it. The words settled down and found their home right there, and that was when he truly listened to the words for the first time.

Tears finally streamed freely down his cheeks. His heart was completely exposed after his armor had fallen off. Somehow, his mate’s simple gesture had been larger than he had thought, and now that they had shared a moment this intimate for the first time, Slaine could not deny the fact that his heart was beating for him. Inaho had proven he was not dangerous; that he, too, was willing to become a vulnerable creature that was dependent on his mate’s mercy. Their positions in the hierarchy had disappeared – making them equal – and there was no need for Slaine to be on guard anymore.

“Are you all right?” Inaho asked with a hoarse voice – his throat dry from all the gasping.

“I’m so relieved…” the blond cried and hid his face against the mattress, holding on to Inaho tightly. “And so overwhelmed because of it…”

“Relieved?” Inaho asked somewhat confused, and Slaine raised a tired hand to Inaho’s cheek without looking up at him from the mattress.

“That you’re my mate,” the blond said quietly and sniveled. “That you did t-this with me.”

“Slaine…” the brunet said and gave him a comforting caress over his shoulders.

Slaine took a deep breath, bracing his heart and mind as he knew he had to tell the other what he felt, and – with a pitiful whimper – he said:

“I love you too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this was quite a predictable chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. One chapter left now.


	21. Yuu

“Where are all the mugs and blankets?!” asked the unpleasantly surprised blond after he had apparently rummaged through his study, appearing in Inaho’s own study with sweat pearling down his face and neck. The burgundy tank top had a large dark patch of sweat on his chest and one smaller one beneath each arm. The sun was scorching the roof above their heads, making the rooms on the second floor hot.

Both of the mates were dressed in as light clothes as possible; while Inaho had the decency to at least wear shorts along with his standard white t-shirt, Slaine was dressed in nothing but a tank top and loose-fitting boxer shorts. He was probably hotter than Inaho because of his delicate condition.

“I put the mugs in the dishwasher and the blankets into washing machine,” the brunet answered matter-of-factly, looking up from the school books at the blond standing in the doorway.

“What?!” the other exclaimed and looked frustrated. “You shouldn’t touch them!”

Inaho blinked while looking at Slaine, not understanding the issue that had emerged out of nowhere. Slaine stared back at him, unaware that he was holding a hand against his slightly bulging stomach, and glared at the brunet like he had committed a crime. The glasses he wore – which he had gotten after it had been known he had slightly poor eyesight – rested aslant on his nose, and his hair splayed everywhere.

“The mugs were used and unwashed, and the blankets were collecting a lot of dust,” the brunet finally said and turned his attention back to the books lying in front of him on top of the desk. “You’ve taken all the blankets from the basket downstairs as well as all the blankets we had in the living room and bedroom, and we have only four mugs left in the cabinet in the kitchen.”

“I don’t care,” Slaine argued and stomped up to the desk and stared at Inaho, correcting his glasses. “I need the mugs and blankets!”

“For what?”

The question made Slaine blink from confusion, like he was woken up from a waking dream of some kind, and then pressed his lips together before saying:

“I- I don’t know…! They’re mine, all right?!”

Inaho looked up at his mate again and met his angry glare. Slaine was showing strong nesting behavior that was outrageously strange and not anchored to reality, almost like he had a strange compulsive behavior. He collected mugs – mostly used – and stored them in one of the drawers to the sideboard in his study. Usually, Slaine would make a cup of tea or coffee to bring with him to his study where he would continue writing his life narration, and once the mug was empty he hid it in the drawer. The blankets in the basket next to the patio door to the porch, and the blankets lying on the couch and bed had disappeared over night as well. Inaho suspected his mate had woken up with the idea to collect blankets, and gone up in the middle of the night to collect all the ones he could find.

When searching for them, Inaho had found them stuffed in a corner in Slaine’s study. At first, he had not paid it any mind, allowing his mate to go crazy like a pregnant omega was supposed to, but when the blankets began to collect dust and there were fewer and fewer mugs in the cabinet in the kitchen, Inaho had decided to at least wash the blankets but brutally take the mugs back. Slaine did not seem to like the idea.

“I don’t know about you, but I would like a cup of coffee or tea now and then,” Inaho said and continued solving a mathematical problem by writing numbers and symbols into his notebook. “You can keep the blankets for now after they’re washed; it’s summer anyway, but it becomes problematic to have a cup of a hot drink if there’s no mugs or glasses in the cabinets.”

Slaine went silent and had a slight pout on his expression when he lowered his gaze, not approving of the scolding his mate gave him. Instead of arguing back, he released a deep sigh of disapproval mixed with understanding, and then relaxed his shoulders. The silence dragged on without Slaine leaving the study to allow his mate continue his school work, and Inaho had a feeling he wanted to continue complaining about the mugs and blankets being touched without his consent. Inaho let him wait for a while to see if he would open his lips and put his thoughts into words. When he did not, the brunet knew he had to take the word:

“I know you’re nesting,” Inaho said after a while of silence and looked up at the blond again. “And I know you should be allowed to act the way you think you need to, but there are limits, too.” Slaine looked up at his mate, looking like he knew Inaho was right. “I’m sorry I touched the blankets and mugs without asking for your permission, but you have to understand they don’t only belong to you. I’ll ask next time, though, and I’m sorry I didn’t today.”

Slaine’s disapproving expression softened, and he gave Inaho a nod and wrapped an arm around his chest to brush the other arm with gentle fingers.

“I’m not really sure why I think I need the mugs and blankets,” the blond mumbled awkwardly, blushing slightly from embarrassment. “I want to argue with you, although I don’t have any relevant arguments because I know you’re right.”

Inaho watched his mate, feeling a slight smile spread on his lips.

“Because you’re frustrated with me?” he asked, and Slaine pouted again. “Or because you want to argue with me for the heck of it?”

“Maybe both!” the blond grumbled.

Inaho knew Slaine had probably touched an unpleasant memory in his life narration and had decided to distract himself by checking his stash of mugs and blankets. He had done that a couple of times, like he was ensuring himself the items were there as he had no more blankets or mugs to collect. He had shown great frustration at first for not having more items to gather, but had then settled with reorganizing the existing items again and again to soothe the need of nesting.

“How did your writing go?” the brunet asked, having a suspicion Slaine could not distract himself now that the blankets and mugs were being washed.

“It went … fine,” the other answered quietly, not saying anything more about it.

“Did you reach an uncomfortable memory?” the brown-haired mate asked, and Slaine nodded with a frown slowly deepening the creases on his forehead. Inaho threw a glance at the clock, and watched the hands of time show the time being 13:24 o’clock. “I could use a short break,” he then suddenly said and watched Slaine look up at him with a relieved look in his aqua eyes. In all honesty, Inaho had no need for a break, but he figured that since he studied from home he could afford an unplanned break a little now and then for his mate’s sake. “How about we go out into the garden? The flowerbeds need some weeding,” he asked his mate. “We haven’t gotten to do much in the garden yet, and it’s really hot in here.”

Slaine stayed silent for a little while, thinking of what he would answer. Inaho knew, though, that he was just awkward about agreeing with the brunet. Slaine still had – no matter how much they had gotten used to each other during their three months together as mates – great integrity; he was firm in his actions and thoughts, perhaps even a little too much at times; it was difficult to influence him in many aspects. He also kept Inaho at a slight distance – not because he did not love him or enjoy his company, but because that was simply how he was as a person. Inaho had reasoned with himself and figured that Slaine needed the distance in order to be happy; he was so unused to letting people close that he had even difficulties of giving praise and encouragement to the brunet, and he showed signs of preferring his own ideas over Inaho’s. The latter characteristic was slowly fading, though, allowing Inaho to come with inputs into their relationship; Slaine was showing more and more respect to the brunet, giving him more room in their togetherness as a partner and mate for each day that passed.

“I don’t care about the flowerbeds,” the blond finally said, looking at Inaho in a way that told the other he was not entirely fond of the idea.

“Then why not pick flowers and decorate the house while I do the weeding?” Inaho asked. “Seylum told me you did that on board your Landing Castle back during the war.”

“What?!” Slaine exclaimed and stared at the brunet in shock. “You talk to her about me?!”

“Of course,” the brunet answered, feeling somewhat baffled by his mate’s reaction. “She’s greatly worried for you and constantly asks about you because she cannot see you. It happens at times that she tells me things about your past; she misses you but she thinks you won’t allow her to even speak to you.”

“I never said that I never wanted to speak to her again,” Slaine argued, finally venting out some of his frustration.

“She seems to have taken your words about you growing apart seriously,” Inaho pointed out, and Slaine shook his head and got even more frustrated.

“I never told her to not contact me again,” he said, his voice louder for each word he spoke. “She’s the one who decided on that!”

Inaho stood up from the chair and walked around the desk, saying:

“Then I think you should let her know that it was all a misunderstanding. She’s curious about you and wishes you well.”

“What, you want me to be best friends with my former love?” Slaine asked and sneered, watching the brunet who walked up to him. “Wouldn’t that make you jealous?”

Inaho had to interrupt the blond’s frustrated manner before it blew out of proportions, and leaned quickly closer and pushed his lips against Slaine’s. The blond went stiff from the surprise attack and stared at the brunet with wide eyes while lingering in the kiss. When Inaho opened his lips, nibbling the other’s gently, the blond slowly relaxed his shoulders and face, letting the calm spread through his body until he decided to answer his mate’s kisses. He took a deep breath through his nose and opened his mouth, pushing their lips properly together and swirled their tongues around for a short while, before Slaine pulled back with a blush dancing on his cheeks. He dried his lips awkwardly with the back of a hand, and Inaho took a step back and did the same.

“Receiving kisses like this from you… I doubt you would even think the thought of her being a potential mate or object of love,” he said, and Slaine’s blush grew heavier.

“You’re so full of shit,” the blond grumbled when Inaho walked past him, to leave the study for the garden. “Saying ridiculous things like that…”

“It’s your fault: You make me happy,” the brunet answered childishly and listened to his mate following him out of the study and down the stairs.

“Are you teasing me, Kaizuka?!” Slaine barked, and Inaho looked over his shoulder:

“Am I?” he asked, and the blond blinked confused and then broke eye contact. Instead of arguing back, Inaho continued calmly: “You should call her and let her know that she doesn’t have to hide from you.”

Slaine held his answer and sighed an exasperated sigh instead to let the brunet know he heard him and took it into consideration. Inaho knew, though, that Slaine would ask him to tell the empress to call him later that day.

This was how they communicated quite often. Even if Slaine was brusque in his ways Inaho knew he did not mean anything bad with it. In fact, Slaine acted this way because Inaho was important. Bickering over small things in a non-serious manner was his way of showing the brunet mattered, because had he not mattered as much as he did Slaine would have been serious and harsher when arguing. In the end, they would settle on the same level and search to reestablish emotional proximity to make sure the other had not been hurt – a moment Inaho always thought of as sweet and rewarding.

When they exited the house, Inaho picked up a bucket with gardening tools from the large storage box in the right corner of the porch, and set out to start digging up weed from the flowerbeds. He counted the seconds in his mind, waiting for Slaine to start helping him out even though he had said he did not like the idea of weeding. When about one minute had passed, he heard his mate walk closer toward the brunet where he was busy weeding – just like Inaho expected – but was surprised that his mate did not get to work. Instead, a straw hat was pushed down on his head, shielding him from the sun and unintentionally obscuring his vision. A scolding voice said:

“The sun it bright. I’ll get the sunscreen.”

With that, Slaine disappeared into the building, leaving the brunet outside in the garden. Inaho raised the hat to be able to see and looked up at the house to see when his mate returned with a straw hat as well and a bottle of sunscreen in hand. It was a welcoming sight; the mate who struggled to show a caring nature had returned with a blushing pout on his face.

“Here, let me do it. Your hands are dirty,” Slaine said and popped the lid open to the bottle and squeezed some lotion out of it. “The earth is dry; we should water your flowers and bushes.”

Inaho looked at his mate who rubbed the sunscreen between his hands, and then felt the greasy hands on his cheeks. Slaine was firm in his way of rubbing the lotion over his mate’s face – not hesitating or being awkward at all when touching him – and continued with Inaho’s neck and the areas that were exposed to the sun, uncovered by the t-shirt; shoulders, back and chest. He then proceeded with the brunet’s bare legs.

“They’re not my flowers and bushes,” Inaho pointed out.

“You chose them,” Slaine argued, pouring some more sunscreen into his hand.

“Because you weren’t interested in helping me select them.”

“Whatever…” the other muttered and finished rubbing sunscreen onto Inaho’s skin. He continued rubbing some on his own skin now that his mate was covered with it. “I’ll help you out, and then we’ll water them before showering, having lunch and going back to our respective work.”

Inaho nodded to agree with his mate’s plan, and proceeded with weeding the flowerbed. Slaine joined him shortly, and they worked in silence aside from the blond’s complaints now and then of it being too hot. Inaho simply answered with agreements, letting his mate know he was not the only one suffering, and gave him encouragements now and then to keep him on a good mood.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Inaho asked after they moved over to the next flowerbed. “You’re yet to fill in the papers to get a registered name in Vers’s national registration.”

“No, not yet,” Slaine answered and dried some sweat from his eyes before continuing weeding. “It’s difficult to choose a name to yourself; it’s easier to give a name than take one. Besides, I can’t even begin imagining me having another name than the one I was given by my parents.”

“You’ll always be Slaine Troyard,” Inaho assured him. “The name you take now will not replace your current identity. It’s just for show and to hide your past crimes.”

“Like the new social security number?” Slaine said and looked up at the sky to take a break and let the sweat pearling down his face run down his cheeks and temples – away from his eyes. “Even my birthdate will be changed.”

“We’ll still celebrate your actual birthday,” the brunet reminded him, and his mate chuckled.

“Birthday celebrations…” he mumbled. “I haven’t had one for so long that I’ve forgotten all about them.”

“I haven’t had one since I was a child,” the brunet said, and Slaine looked up at him. “It’s not a custom in Japan in the same way as here in the West. It’s more common between couples though.”

“Really?” Slaine asked surprised. “I grew up with people arranging huge parties for their birthday. Especially in my home country, the family usually wakes you up softly in the morning with a birthday song, present and cake. My dad used to do that when I was a small kid. Then later that day, guests arrive to celebrate your birthday, although I never had any friends to invite to my birthday party.”

Inaho made sure to register that into his memory.

“You treat your guests to your own birthday party?” the brunet asked instead, watching Slaine nod. “Where I come from, if the person is an adult, the one who is celebrated is treated by everyone else.”

Slaine raised his eyebrows from surprise, looking genuinely curious, saying:

“That makes sense, actually. I like that idea.”

“And I like the idea of being woken up with a birthday song and cake and presents,” Inaho said, and Slaine got a smile onto his lips.

“We should combine those traditions,” he said. “Especially for our kid.”

Inaho nodded, smiling as well:

“I agree.”

‘ _By the time our child has grown old enough to start school,_ ’ he thought and watched his mate continue poking the dirt with a trowel. _‘Has the world forgotten the voice of Count Saazbaum Troyard?; how much will you be able to participate in the outside world where our child will spend a lot of their time growing up?_ ’

αβΩ

The document was full – saturated with words that had come to their end. He stared at the blinking cursor right after the last period behind the last word and took a deep breath, feeling the calm after a huge project had come to its end.

“It’s done,” he said with a relieved and shocked whisper, feeling a sudden emptiness now that his life narration had caught up with his current time in life.

Slaine felt like he had accomplished something huge by finishing it, but he felt quite disappointed as well. What an anti-climax it felt to have finally finished his story. For how long had he been writing it? Seven or eight months now? It had been a slow process because of all the personal hardships he had been forced to write down and bring back to his conscious memory. In order to be able to move on, he had been dependent on the sessions with the psychologist, to work through all the difficult memories that had kicked up storms within him each time they had resurfaced. Now, all that hard work had come to its end, and he felt incredibly disappointed.

What had he expected to happen once he was done with his story? Nothing, really. He had expected nothing. And now, nothing happened. There were no great feelings of liberation or ease, and no fireworks went off to celebrate all the hard work he had put into the story. It was like – initially – nothing of all the hard work mattered. Even so, he knew that was not true; his story mattered a lot to him, as he hoped it would matter to those who got to read it in the future.

‘ _I’ve vented it all out; all my rough and difficult feelings_ ,’ he thought and leaned his head back to stare up at the wooden ceiling. His existence felt suddenly empty now that he had no meaningful task to immerse in, and he turned his eyes to look at the wooden egg balancing on its bottom on the desk. He pushed it with a lazy finger and watched it rock back and forth. ‘ _What do I do now?_ ’ he then wondered while listening to the sounds of the rocking egg.

The next step was to edit the story and then send it to publishing companies. Inaho had promised to help him with it. The blond was not thrilled to do all the editing – to censor his identity in the story and read the text he had written again – but it was a job he had to do. Perhaps it would bring with it more work he had to do with himself; reawaken memories he still had not remembered he carried?

‘ _Won’t this crap ever end?_ ’ he wondered tiredly.

With a sigh, he brushed his bulging stomach with a leisure hand, closing his tired eyes that had stared at the laptop’s screen for many hours in a row. Then, after removing the glasses resting on his nose, he rubbed his eyes and yawned – stretching his tired body properly before getting up from the chair.

It was quiet outside his study when he stepped into the hallway. Dark even. The summer had come to its end and autumn had started to turn the green leaves into yellow and red, and the world was once again getting darker for each day that passed. Only a flickering light from the living room illuminated the hallway, and Slaine decided to check if his mate was there. Now that his story was done, he needed some company to distract his mind from the disappointment of the anti-climax.

When he stepped into the living room, Inaho sat slumped against the backrest of the couch and stared at the television where the news broadcast was blabbering about everything and nothing that went on in the world. Slaine paid it no mind and walked over to the couch, letting his heavy body drop down onto the soft cushions.

Inaho looked up at him, welcoming him to the couch with a glance, and asked:

“How did it go?”

Slaine smiled a tired wry smile, staring absentmindedly at the television, and answered:

“I’m done.”

Inaho turned the attention to his mate anew and stared at him probably with surprise.

“Congratulations,” he said in his usual manner. “And for a job well done.”

“Thanks,” the blond murmured. “It’s been tough.”

“I can imagine,” his mate said and sneaked a hand into the blond’s. Slaine immediately squeezed it tightly. “You’ve worked with it and yourself really hard.”

“I have,” the blond sighed, feeling uninterested in talking about his bathetic work, and turned his head to look at Inaho. Their eyes met. “How did your studies go?”

The brunet turned his gaze to the television again, saying:

“The exam is done and I sent it in. I’m sure I got all the answers right.”

Slaine chuckled with a slight sneer, and teased:

“I’m not surprised, Mr. Soon-to-be Professor. You’ve been staring at those numbers and all for days.” Without another word, the blond pulled his hand away from Inaho’s and turned his body around to lie down on the couch, his head in Inaho’s lap. “Well done to both of us,” he then said and shamelessly pushed his nose against his mate’s slacks, against his crotch. He took a deep breath, sensing the sweet and pleasant scent of his mate’s sex. “Anything interesting on the news?” he asked after adjusting his position into a perfectly comfortable one.

Inaho, caring and kind as always, brushed Slaine’s hair with gentle fingers. The blond hair had grown some more, forcing Slaine to put it up into a small pony tail at the back of his head. He had not been bothered to cut it as he had been far too immersed in his work to finish his life narration. A writer’s life was certainly not glamorous.

“No, nothing new except for your former officers' – who were caught just a couple of months ago – trials being finished. They all got life in prison for their crimes,” Inaho said and then stopped caressing his mate’s head. Slaine looked up at him, wondering why he had stopped, and met the brunet’s eye looking back at him. “Have you stolen mugs again?” he suddenly asked, and Slaine frowned and felt taken aback by the other’s sudden accusation.

“What? No! We’ve already talked about this,” he answered slightly upset by his mate’s allegations.

“Several times even,” Inaho reminded him. “Seven mugs are missing from the cabinets again. We increased the amount of mugs to twelve after the last time they began disappearing.”

Slaine had to think for a while to relocate the missing mugs in his mind. He had been drinking a lot of tea lately because of his long hours in front of the laptop, and he had to admit his desk looked disgusting. There were used glasses and plates stacked on top of each other on the left side of the huge desk, and a couple of bowls with dried cornflakes and yoghurt was occupying the right side. Crumbs from various breads and other food hid beneath the laptop cooler and behind the laptop, along with-

“Well, I guess a couple of mugs have been left on my desk,” the blond mumbled, and continued to assure his mate: “Although I haven’t been collecting them because I’m nesting.”

“Is that where the bowls, plates and glasses have gone missing as well?” the brunet asked, and Slaine nodded with a blush.

“Y-yeah,” he muttered and hid his face against his mate’s crotch, snuggling closer to hide his embarrassment. “I just forgot about them after a long day…”

“And I’m still not allowed to enter your study so I can take them down to the kitchen and wash them?” his mate asked softly, and Slaine shook his head.

“No! The study is my private space, and mine alone,” the blond protested immediately.

He had forbidden Inaho from entering his study after the brunet had been there to steal back the mugs the blond had taken with him the last time; Slaine was tired of getting his study trespassed by his mate who disturbed his nesting behavior by cleaning. Every time Slaine’s nesting behavior had calmed down, Inaho had unintentionally stirred it again by disturbing the things that calmed the blond. When the mugs had disappeared, Slaine had gone into a full-blown nesting behavior again and felt incredibly frustrated. He had ended up reorganizing the pile of blankets over and over again and been unable to stop until he had been too exhausted to continue. Inaho had given in somewhat and asked Asseylum to buy another set of mugs so that Slaine could slightly satisfy his nesting behavior by having at least a couple of mugs hidden away in his study. After that, Slaine had forbidden Inaho from ‘helping’ him out by cleaning his study. It was exhausting to have his nesting behavior go out of control each time.

“When was the last time you cleaned the study?” Inaho asked instead, and Slaine groaned:

“Why do you bother asking? It’s my business,” he said brusquely at first, but then sighed when realizing he was a little too harsh, and answered his mate’s question: “I haven’t cleaned it for about two months…”

“Then I think you should do it tomorrow now that you have finished your story,” Inaho said and began caressing Slaine’s hair again.

“Whatever…”

They stayed like that for a while. The news changed into hysterical commercials made by desperate companies that used the growing post-war economy by coaxing people who had money to consume more. These commercials in turn changed into a movie. Slaine was not interested in the movie and rather rested his head in his mate’s lap to be soothed by his warm hand, and Inaho did not bother changing the channel either as it would mean he had to remove Slaine’s head in order to reach the remote-control on the coffee table.

As they lay there and the thought of having finished his story had settled, doubts began to brood in the blond’s mind about publishing his life narration. Suddenly, he realized how controversial it was to be this honest with the hell he had written down, even if its purpose was merely to vent his feelings out and reconnect with his past. He had been brutally honest, which put his heart out there into the hands of strangers. Many people would get furious at the story, which was all but true except for the parts that changed Slaine’s identity into a faceless omega’s. Some could not probably handle the heaviness of it, and his anonymous self would be forced to face a storm of things that were the opposite of pleasantries.

“It’s a very personal text,” he said quietly after a while of silence and frowned worriedly. “It’ll probably anger many people, and some will even call me a liar and a fake. Now that I think about it, my story really sounds unbelievable.”

It was true. The more Slaine had thought about his life narration in an objective perspective, the more he understood it sounded too horrible to kindly settle in someone else’s mind without struggle. His thoughts and feelings that he had managed to put into words were nothing but honest, untouched by reflection of it they were right or wrong. In a sense, he had just simply faced his demons and set them free through his written word and not bothered to restrain them, and he believed some would not appreciate that.

“Are you afraid of that?” his mate asked, and Slaine nodded. “Why?”

“I’m not really sure,” the blond mumbled and thought. “Perhaps because I’m so honest with it? My intention is not to teach people of what I think is right or wrong; I just wanted to vent out my feelings so I can feel good and let people read it so they understand what my anonymous self has gone through. It’ll aggravate people, especially those who think my honest feelings are statements, which they’re not.”

“It’s always like that with culture: Whenever someone says something people haven’t heard before, there are bound to be people who will feel offended. You shouldn’t forget about those who will think of it as strong of you to be that honest, and I’m sure there will be omegas who will feel relieved that someone is finally telling the truth and putting similar feelings as theirs into words,” Inaho pointed out. “You shouldn’t worry. I’m sure most people understand what you’re saying.”

The brunet’s encouraging words made Slaine smile.

“Yeah… Although, I’m sure I won’t be able to read the reviews or anything,” he said and turned his head to look up at his mate. There was something he was curious about; something he had not forgotten and stopped to wonder about: “Enough about me, though: You told me a while back that you had to be honest with me in the future about some issues you have. Care to share some of that?” he asked instead, and Inaho looked at him for a couple of seconds in silence. Slaine, feeling too curious to stay obediently silent, prompted him again: “We’ve been a pair for six months now or so; shouldn’t it be the time for that now?”

This time, Slaine waited, allowing his mate to think while the movie played in the background. It did not take long before Inaho finally said, as bluntly as ever:

“I never knew my parents. They died in Heaven’s Fall, right after I was born.” Slaine blinked at first from the shock of the unexpected words, and then felt his heart squeeze momentarily when he understood the meaning of those words. Inaho continued: “I grew up in a foster facility for children whose parents had died in the war, together with sis. There were too many children, and the staff was overwhelmed by the work load and could not tend to all of us. Because of the lack of parent figures, I grew up without emotional support and guidance. My sis tried her best, but she, too, was just a child. I couldn’t depend on her; I learned that quite early in life, and after watching her struggle so much with trying to take care of me and failing, I began to look out for her instead.”

Inaho told everything with his usual tone of voice, which made Slaine feel like the brunet did not understand the seriousness of what he had gone through. He had also always thought the Kaizuka siblings were unusually different as persons to be brother and sister; he believed siblings always had something in common, but Yuki and Inaho seemed to not have anything in common except their genes.

“I’ve always been curious of why you two are so different,” Slaine said shocked while staring at his mate, completely surprised by the past the brunet carried.

“That’s because she was six years old when our parents died. She had already gotten a normal upbringing up until then,” Inaho answered quietly. It was strange to listen to him speak about such a difficult past without a hint of sorrow or pain in either expression or voice. “I was already strange when little, making me into an obvious target of bullying. I didn’t know how to handle it at first, because I didn’t know what was considered normal interaction and not as no adult stepped in to help or explain anything to me. Because of the lack of care from adults, I was forced to begin solving problems quite early in life, even the problem with the bullies who began to target my sis only to get to me.” Inaho caressed his mate’s head again, and continued: “When we moved out of the facility and got our own apartment – us still being way too young – I quickly turned the caregiving tables and began taking care of my sis instead by learning how to cook and do chores by reading magazines and books at a library close to where we lived. She was bad at all that.”

“I had no idea… Why don’t look or sound sad?” Slaine asked carefully. “You didn’t have a childhood, did you?”

“There’s no need to feel down about it,” Inaho answered matter-of-factly. “Even if we struggled, and even if I developed an identity of a caregiver, I don’t regret anything; we did as best as we could at the time with the little we had, and we survived. That’s all that matters.”

Slaine sat up and looked at his mate with a heavy frown on his face. Puzzle pieces started to match.

“I noticed the way you formed a relationship to me was by showing me care, like you already knew what I needed before I had even voiced it,” the blond said, feeling like he suddenly understood his mate’s kind behavior of always looking out for him. “You’ve continued like this even after we bonded; you always take care of me in a self-denying way, even postponing your studies just to be with me when I need it. It’s like you don’t know how else to relate to others.”

Inaho nodded, saying:

“Now you know my handicap.”

Suddenly, everything fell in their right place. Slaine understood why Inaho was so vigilant and looked out for him by finding ways to distract the blond’s mind whenever he was falling into an emotionally dark pit dug by his past. His past also explained why Inaho was so good at cooking and solving whatever problem he encountered. Slaine also finally understood the emotional void around the other. He knew after all the sessions he had had with the psychologist that Inaho was filled with emotions – just like anyone else – but was unable to express them because he had not been taught how to. Unlike Yuki and Slaine – who had had a grownup to take care of them and reflect their emotions back to them and help them regulate them as children – Inaho had had no one except his sister – a child – to teach him what emotions were and how to relate to others.

“Do you doubt your feelings?” Slaine asked with a whisper. “Like, are you unsure if your feelings are reasonable or not in different situations?”

The brunet answered with silence, and the blond had gotten to know him well enough to understand what he said by not saying a single word: Inaho doubted his feelings and most likely gave them no value and ignored them. Slaine had a feeling that he and Inaho were quite similar in not understanding their feelings and self-value, which forced them both to always sacrifice themselves and accomplish something for someone else. What differentiated them, however, was how they handled their feelings. Inaho probably ignored them because they served him no good, knowing no one would probably care, while Slaine feared the consequences of expressing his feelings.

Immediately, the shadow of his father emerged in his mind and the echoes of his angry voice resonated in his ears. The nostalgic fear of expressing his needs came over him and the familiar hopelessness followed.

“ _Why do you have to look like your mother?!_ ”

“ _Don’t you see that daddy’s working?!_ ”

“ _I’m sorry, Slaine. I’m too tired…_ ”

“ _You’re a big boy: You’ll come to Vers with me no matter what the others say._ ”

‘ _But…_ ’ the blond thought and frowned while remembering his father’s manic episodes. He had just recently understood that his father had been seriously ill. ‘ _I was lonely and terrified all the time…_ ’

“I only know how to give help and support,” Inaho said after a while of silence, waking the blond up from his memory: “But I don’t know how to receive or ask for it; I’ve always solved problems before anyone else has, which has made others’ support unnecessary.”

So, Slaine was right. Inaho did not think much about his own feelings.

“I can imagine this made you quite popular?” Slaine asked. “People like to be taken care of, and they even encourage others to solve problems but are quite bad at doing it themselves.”

“Actually no,” Inaho said honestly, surprising the blond. “I was so strange that people didn’t know what to think of me. No one liked me really except for a few people that became my friends.”

“W-well, I must agree with that; you are quite strange,” the blond mumbled under his breath, before saying: “All starts to make sense. You’re even spoiling me rotten with the food you cook without expecting anything back.”

“That’s because – just like you’re affected by this pregnancy by nesting – I’m protective of you and want you to be happy and healthy. Isn’t that natural for mates?” Inaho asked, and Slaine frowned.

“You’re really asking the wrong person. Remember: I nearly set two entire worlds on fire because of love. I have no idea what mates are supposed to do and not,” Slaine said and sighed. “You _have_ begun to take things out of my hands, though. I’m not even allowed to wipe down the kitchen-sink without you taking the dishcloth from my hands.”

“It’s because you’re pregn-“ the brunet began, but Slaine already anticipated that answer and had a straightforward answer prepared:

“Don’t give me that pregnancy bullcrap,” he scolded. “I can handle wiping down a table, you know? I’m not like a clubbed seal just because I have a big stomach.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Inaho said in his defense, and Slaine gave him a wry smile and then sighed.

“Thank you for telling me about your childhood,” he sighed and snuggled his face against Inaho’s crotch again.

Silence lay to rest around them. Only the movie filled their house with sounds and neither of them was too interested in the story. It was apparently an adventure movie about time traveling cars, but that was as much as Slaine bothered to register.

In the end, Slaine nearly fell asleep in his mate’s lap, but before he had had the chance to get some proper shuteye, Inaho woke him up and suggested they should go to sleep in their bed. Exhaustedly, Slaine pushed his heavy body up and went into the bedroom to turn the lights on his bedside table on while Inaho turned the television off so the brunet could see where he was going.

When Slaine pulled his sweater off, he noticed Inaho was staring at him, and the blond covered his chest with his hands as he knew what his mate was looking at.

“Your body’s changing,” Inaho said bluntly, and Slaine felt a blush of embarrassment on his cheeks and hurried into bed to hide beneath the duvet.

“I’m very aware of that, thank you,” he grumbled and turned his back toward his mate when Inaho joined him in bed. Inaho was talking about his chest that had begun to grow. “I know I’m starting to develop breasts,” he continued with a mumble. “My body doesn’t feel like mine anymore…”

The bedsheets rustled when Inaho searched for a comfortable position, and then he heard the brunet answer:

“Your body is preparing to nurture the child. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about; it’s beautiful and attractive.”

A small smile spread on Slaine’s lips hearing that despite his mate’s monotone voice. He felt lucky to have a mate who was so down-to-earth in his way of thinking. Inaho was not busy with ideals and things that could be viewed as embarrassing – unlike Slaine – and even encouraged the blond to be comfortable in this pregnancy. No matter how Slaine’s body decided to change or act, Inaho did not mind it at all. The security this gave the blond was important in how he handled the changes his body constantly went through, making them feel less problematic than he initially wanted to make them.

“If it’s beautiful and attractive like you say,” the blond said quietly and turned around to look at his mate, wanting to make sure Inaho was telling the truth: “Then touch them.”

His mate did not protest. Instead, Slaine watched Inaho shuffle closer, to rest his head on the same pillow as Slaine. Then, the other reached out his hand and let it kiss the omega’s shoulder. Slowly and carefully, he moved his hand down his collarbone to the top of his chest, until Slaine felt him cup his hand around the small breast that had just begun to grow.

“It’s soft,” Inaho said quietly, feeling the mass in his hand by squeezing it gently. “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” the blond answered. He felt strange to have his mate touch him like this. “They ache now and then too, and the skin is slowly stretched out. I’ll probably get stretchmarks once they’ve grown completely.”

“Don’t worry about the stretchmarks,” Inaho answered and caressed the blond’s nipple with a careful finger. “They’re the marks of a mother.”

The blond smiled with a heavy frown, and said:

“That’s easy for you to say; you’re not getting the marks.”

“Perhaps, but I sincerely don’t mind them, and I don’t think you should either. You should rather be proud of them, because they’re there because you’ve nurtured a life into existence.”

“You’re being creepy,” the blond mumbled with a blush, unable to handle his mate’s adoring words.

Inaho was slowly becoming cliché in his ways, like an expecting father who looked at the mother of his child in a holy light. Slaine was not entirely sure what he thought and felt about it as he was not used to it at all, but he had to be honest and admit he was grateful for his mate’s encouraging words.

Instead of answering, Inaho leaned closer and gave his mate a careful kiss. He asked Slaine for permission to touch him more, and the blond sighed pleased and invited his mate closer with a needy nibble.

αβΩ

“Thank you again for inviting me, Inaho,” she said with a soft and quiet voice, afraid to speak too loudly in case she would disturb the quietness in the house.

“It was his request,” the brunet pointed out where he walked next to the empress, showing her to the stairs leading to the second floor. He was holding the reason to her being invited a secret from her for now, just like his mate had instructed him to. “I’m sure he will be happy to see you, Seylum.”

“It has been only four days, I understand?” she said, and Inaho nodded. “Is it not a little too early to let visitors this close, especially me? He must feel so vulnerable.”

“Don’t worry,” Inaho assured her, walking up the stairs. “Since you have given him a second chance in life, he wants you to be the first outsider to visit. My sister hasn’t been to greet her yet since birth.”

“I am greatly honored,” the empress said happily, and they soon entered the second floor and walked down the hallway.

A quiet sound from the radio in the living room drifted in the air, but that was all they could hear. Inaho felt thrilled to show the royal highness into the living room, and the moment he came to the open door leading into the room, his eyes landed on his mate who lay on his back with raised knees on the couch, with a blanket covering him.

The stillness in the room felt holy, like it was the most harmonious place in the world that not even a church or temple could compete with. Treading inside would risk disturbing the quietude, and even Inaho began to feel an overwhelming awe and hesitated to say anything at all. He had still not gotten used to the air around his mate, who had more integrity than ever before.

“Slaine,” the brunet said quietly after collecting his nerves to speak, and the blond raised his head slightly. “She is here.”

“She can come in,” the blond answered with a silent voice, and Inaho turned to the visitor and gave her a gesture that prompted her to enter the room.

Cautiously, Seylum walked into the living room like she was unsure if she was allowed into the room at all. Inaho could understand her after everything that had happened between the two, and now she was suddenly invited to visit Slaine in his most vulnerable state. She almost sneaked closer on light feet, and when she got eye contact with the blond a smile spread on her face.

Inaho walked quietly up to a chair standing next to the couch and sat down on it. The chair was where he had been sitting just moments earlier before he had gone to welcome the visitor inside their home.

“How are you feeling?” she asked the blond after she sat down on an armchair opposite of the couch, on the other side of the coffee table.

Slaine took a slow and quiet breath to answer:

“My body feels broken and weak,” he said quietly. “And I’m exhaustedly tired. Despite all that, I feel fine, because I’m allowed to be like this right now.”

Slaine spoke to the empress with determination Inaho had not heard in a long time. He was establishing the rules between him and her by letting her know he was the one in charge, and Seylum did not seem to want to protest.

“As you should,” she answered in agreement, still smiling despite Slaine’s tone of voice. “I heard everything went well during the labor despite it was a long process.”

Slaine nodded and said with a relieved voice:

“It is all because of you and my obstetrician. Because of you, he could give me the best care possible.”

“It did take several hours, enough to make him too exhausted to follow any instructions,” Inaho added, caressing his mate over his head. “They had to take charge entirely at the end.”

“I was so tired I didn’t even want to hold her once she was out,” his mate explained under his breath.

“Oh,” the empress said with a worried look on her beautiful face, and she looked at Slaine again after exchanging a glance with Inaho. “I am so sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you,” Slaine whispered and caressed something that was hidden beneath the blanket. “I got the baby blues; I refused to hold her until yesterday, and I’m still trying to establish a bond to her.”

“That sounds terrible,” Seylum whispered while still looking troubled. “I have heard it happens, but I find it sad you had to go through this.”

Slaine shook his head and gave her a tired smile.

“Thank you, but it was expected considering my past. Even so, it doesn’t mean she’s not my daughter,” Slaine answered and the brunet felt thrilled when he saw the blond slowly lift the blanket covering his chest.

Beneath it, a newborn lay asleep against the mother’s naked chest, still curled up like she was still lying in the womb. Slaine showed no hesitation to let the empress see his bare body; the blond had refused to wear anything else than underwear ever since he had given birth, and he was even more stubborn to stay nearly entirely nude now that he had decided to start nursing the infant. The skin-to-skin contact with his and Inaho’s child was important, he believed, and he mostly lay in either bed or on the couch with the child on his chest. He did not watch television or divert his attention from the child in any other way except for the radio playing quietly in the background; he was simply present in the moment, lingering in the strangeness it meant to suddenly have a child in his arms.

“Oh, my goodness!” Seylum exclaimed with a voiceless cry. Her eyes widened and she covered her lips with slender hands.

Slaine looked up at her to see her reaction, but Inaho could not tear his attention from the little creature. Each time he saw his daughter, he felt an overwhelming joy and great confusion at the same time. He was still not used to the thought of being a father, and he was certain Slaine felt the same about his motherhood. While Slaine had been busy recovering from the labor and find emotional strength and encouragement to begin connecting with his child, Inaho had been the one to make sure their daughter was well taken care off.

After all the hard work his mate had gone through, Inaho had not minded to be the one to take care of her; he had nursed and fed her with guidance from the obstetrician who made visits once a day to make sure everything went well with the young parents. When Slaine had asked to be allowed to hold her, Inaho had felt relieved that the mother finally wanted to do his part as well.

“She’s so precious,” the empress whispered with a quivering voice, and Inaho felt a smile spread on his lips. “Is she an alpha or an omega?”

The question stiffened the brunet and the atmosphere shifted briefly in the room. Seylum had not noticed it, but Inaho had felt it clearly: Her question angered the blond. Slaine, however, found his calm quite quickly, and answered:

“It doesn’t matter.” Inaho watched Slaine’s eyes turn to the sleeping child. “It shouldn’t matter at all right now; she’s still too young for it to matter even the slightest.”

His words seemed to warn the empress, who suddenly apologized in haste. Slaine was not interested in caring about the child’s second sex at the moment, as he wished to allow their child to be a human first and foremost while growing up. She would be protected from the indoctrinations other alphas were subjected to from birth, but she would be well informed once she was old enough of what it meant to be an alpha and also be taught that she alone owned her future; no one was allowed to tell her how she should live her life when she got old enough to start deciding her future. Inaho respected that and even agreed.

“Is she breastfeeding like she should?” Seylum then asked, and Inaho nodded.

“She does.”

He caressed his mate’s shoulder to let him know he was there to support him.

“I began lactating during my first try,” Slaine said and looked at the child. “And she’s really hungry.”

A warm smile spread on the empress’s lips, and then she got tears in her eyes while looking at the child.

“To think you two are parents now,” she said quietly. “Can I take a closer look?”

Inaho allowed Slaine to decide – just like he did with mostly everything surrounding the child. Even if Inaho was just as much a parent as Slaine, he could not help but to respect Slaine’s needs and bend to his will this early after the birth. He had been shocked the moment his mate had gone into labor, while Slaine had shown an aggressive nature that had been horrifyingly similar to the count he had been during the war. His hyper-vigilant eyes had been piercing once more, warning everyone from getting too close to him unless he gave them permission to do so. The obstetrician had been skillfully handling the demanding omega and spoken to him in the right way to not aggravate him, encouraging the blond to follow his instructions.

Inaho, on the other hand, had been brusquely ordered out of the room by his distressed mate, who wished no one else to be present than the minimum amount of staff needed. The brunet had stood in the corridor, shaking from a sudden anxiety and fear of what was happening, and his sister had arrived within an hour to make him company and calm him down.

Seventeen hours later he had gotten the news of him being a father to an alpha daughter. Slaine had refused to see him and his daughter for several hours after the birth, but the brunet’s fear and anxiety was calmed considerately the moment he was allowed to greet his daughter in a private room. Yuki had been allowed to see the child, but she had quickly burst into a loud cry and left the room to stand outside in the corridor and observe her brother and her niece, crying the whole time.

Now, four days later, Inaho had still not settled into the role of a parent, and Slaine struggled bravely to find his footing as a mother.

“Of course,” Slaine answered kindly to his childhood friend, who quietly stood up from the chair and walked up to the edge of the couch.

She squatted down and looked at the child with great curiosity, still with tears in her eyes.

“Hi there,” she said with a whisper and reached out a careful finger to brush the child’s little hand. “What is your name, little one?”

“We haven’t decided yet,” Inaho answered while observing the empress interact with the sleeping baby.

“We just call her ‘you’ for now,” Slaine filled in and caressed his daughter’s head carefully. The sight made Inaho’s heart jump; he greatly enjoyed watching his mate like this.

“We haven’t still gotten to know her yet, and Slaine thinks we can’t give a name to a person before we have gotten to know them,” the brunet said and met Slaine’s quick glance before it fell back onto the child.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Seylum said with a bright smile, continuing with a kind tease: “Are you nameless still, little honey dew? How cruel of your mother and father.”

The child stirred from her sleep, moving her jaw weakly before opening her eyes a crack and then closing them again. It was like Seylum’s presence had woken her up. The exhausted mother smiled and brushed the child’s cheeks carefully with a thumb, and the baby tried opening her eyes again, glancing at the empress all cross-eyed before shutting her eyes again.

“Is there someone else’s scent here?” Slaine asked the baby with a whisper. “It’s the scent of one of your future guardians if she wants to become one.”

Inaho heard the empress take a sudden and sharp breath from shock, and her expression was morphed from warm and gentle to pure shock. She pressed her lips tightly together while her chin trembled, and the tears in her eyes finally fell. Slaine’s reason to invite her to visit was revealed.

“We decided to have you and my sister to become her guardians,” Inaho said and explained: “Since neither of us is religious, but Slaine still wants to have a ceremony, we decided to call the godparents as guardians instead.”

Seylum looked at them both, alternating her eyes between the two, before she looked at the baby and stood up from her kneeling position. She gave them both a curtsy and dried her tears, saying:

“That would be a great honor. I accept more than happily. Please, accept my sincere gratitude of bestowing such an honor on me.”

Her sudden movement woke the child up, and quiet and complaining groans began to leak from her throat. Slaine quickly raised a hand to gently rub her head with the palm of his hand in a circular motion, just like the obstetrician had taught the first-time parents who had called it a universal trick to calm a baby, and the child seemed to feel pleased and went silent once more.

“Shhh…” Inaho hushed and leaned closer to let the baby feel his scent as well and let her know her father was close by. He caressed her bare back to keep it warm.

“Forgive me for waking her. It was not my intention,” Seylum hurriedly said, but Inaho looked up at her, answering:

“It’s all right. She complains now and then about everything that’s new.”

“That’s all she does,” Slaine pointed out but then looked up at Inaho. “Will you help me? I think she should have something to eat. It’s been about two hours now.”

Immediately, Seylum’s presence disappeared from the young parents’ attention the moment they needed to do their duty. Inaho helped Slaine to sit up by taking the child into his arms, following the obstetrician’s humorous advice of thinking of the child as a loaf of bread in order to hold her in a relaxed manner. He supported the still weak body like he had been taught to, and once Slaine sat up comfortably after struggling with his hurting body for a brief moment, he put the child back into her mother’s arms and helped the blond with the nursing pillow. Slaine was not hiding his naked breasts from the empress as he was completely focusing on his task of being a parent, and then put the child in the right position to let her breastfeed.

“Come on,” the blond encouraged the child, showing her the nipple by pushing it against her lips. The infant was quick to respond and began to suckle. “There we go…”

“We should give them a little privacy,” Inaho told the empress once he was reminded she was in the room with them. “Since Slaine has bonding issues with her, he needs time alone with her in moments like this.”

Seylum nodded and watched the nursing mother and his child for a short while, before she thanked Slaine for allowing her to come and visit. The blond did not seem to hear her as he was too focused on the child, and Inaho took the empress’s hand and showed her out of the room and down into the kitchen. He apologized for Slaine’s silence and made her a cup of coffee, and they spoke to each other for a while before it was time for her to leave.

“Take care of them now, Inaho,” she said when they stood in the foyer. “I have never been as touched in my life before as I was from seeing my childhood friend holding his child. Only my own children will be able to top this,” she continued, smiling slightly brighter than when she had arrived.

“Have you found any omegas to give you and Klancain heirs yet?” the brunet asked after nodding to her.

“Oh, I have,” she answered happily with an excited blush on her cheeks. “I have found two who were willing to give me children, and they will be allowed to be the nursing mothers.”

“I’m happy for you. Make sure to respect them,” the brunet reminded her, and she nodded with a bright smile:

“I shall. If not, I am sure Slaine will give me a piece of his mind.” Then she raised her eyebrows like she remembered something: “By the way, I forgot to congratulate him for his book being published as I was so charmed by your beautiful daughter. I heard the publishers nearly fought over the rights for it.”

“I’ll let him know,” Inaho ensured her. “And yes, I had to take a lot of calls from mostly all of the publishers we sent the manuscript to, who tried to convince Slaine to choose them as his publisher. It has also been well received by the majority after it was published. He doesn’t want to hear anything about it, though.”

“It will come later once all this has settled, I am sure,” Seylum smiled. “His story is really heartbreaking, but the way he wrote it made the book tremendously good. It was like the text had been silent for thousand years before breaking free, and it spoke louder than words.”

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that,” Inaho said and gave her a nod. “Take care, and thank you for visiting, Seylum.”

With a nod and a friendly goodbye, the empress left and Inaho hurried to the second floor again. He was eager to see his mate and daughter and tend to their needs. When he got to the second floor and peeked into the living room, he heard Slaine snivel. Alarmed, Inaho hurried inside and saw the blond cry for the first time after labor. The baby lay in his arms, comfortably asleep and tucked into the blanket, and Slaine looked up at the brunet, saying with a quivering voice:

“We got to have a name for her.”

Inaho felt his shoulders relax as there was no danger.

Perhaps Seylum’s visit had stirred something in the young mother who had bonding issues with his child – releasing dormant emotions much like water flooding from a breached dam? The vigilant eyes were soft and begging for support, and Inaho walked up to his mate and sat down on the chair next to the couch.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, and Slaine took a deep and shaky breath.

“I just realized that having a child is not that bad, actually,” he said while sniveling. “I always wanted to give Asseylum something like this, but after seeing her today I was reminded of that dream not being fulfilled. Right after that, I realized that dream has been messed up all this time as I have always thought of _giving_ children. Instead, now I have a child of my own together with you.”

Inaho stared at him, not entirely understanding his suddenly crying mate who was in an emotional episode. He still wondered why he was suddenly interested in giving the child a name after being reluctant about it up until now.

“I’m glad you came to that understanding,” Inaho said. “I agree with you about it not being too bad of having a child. But why do you want to give her a name all of a sudden?”

“Because she called her ‘honey dew’,” Slaine answered and dried his tears with the back of his hand. Inaho reached for a tissue and gave it to the blond. “While we just call her ‘you’. That’s not fair; we’re her parents.”

So that was it. Slaine felt guilty for not calling their daughter anything more special than ‘you’. This made Inaho think for a while, trying to come up with a name to soothe his mate, and then looked at their sleeping daughter and said:

“I think we have already named her.” Slaine looked up at the brunet with confusion in his eyes, who continued: “Yuu,” Inaho said bluntly. “It’s a Japanese name, and it works for both boys and girls.”

“Yuu…” Slaine repeated and forgot his stormy emotions. He looked down at the child as well. “Can we be that simplistic?”

“Why not?” Inaho asked. “Try saying the name while looking at her and see if it feels good.”

“Yuu,” his mate said again and stared at the baby girl. “Yuu…” he repeated again. “Yuu…”

“The name has multiple meanings depending on which kanji is used, but I would suggest the kanji that is used to write ‘gentleness’ or ‘tenderness’,” Inaho explained.

He saw a smile spread on Slaine’s lips hearing that, knowing the blond had made a decision. Inaho felt the bond between the three of them grow to its fullest as he heard Slaine whisper the name Inaho had suggested, making them finally feel like a proper family:

“Yuu.”

 

 

_-fin-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are at the end. Thank you so much for all the support despite this story’s shortcomings. This is not a story about moral statements or anything the like, as its purpose is just like Slaine’s story; for me to vent things out, but also to play with immoralities and fetishes and such as I got sick and tired of sugarcoated stories. I wanted to write something raw and let the story flow, and this was the result. I hope you enjoyed the ride!
> 
> Now that I'm done playing with heavy stories, I'm happily and FINALLY heading over to pleasant ones. I couldn't finish this story soon enough. I'll go on a short hiatus as I am doing research for a new story that'll be uploaded on my other pseud under RealmOfTan in a couple of weeks. I've already given a hint in this chapter of what it might be. I hope to see you there!
> 
> If you want this as a clean PDF, you can download it from my Mediafire [HERE](http://www.mediafire.com/file/n51pdvt9cn81f51/Our_Roles_PDF.pdf)


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